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He watched him from across the street.
Dean had changed his car. He spotted an Impala on secondhand car trade fair, almost exactly like his baby, bought without a second thought, but scarcely drove it. The Impala drew too much of attention that it almost was his trademark, others might not notice, but Sam would surely recognize it at first sight. It's like how people are always overly sensitive with their names that even faint murmurs of them could be captured.
Perhaps it was Dean's speculation after all. Perhaps Sam wouldn't care at all, wouldn't neurotically see his brother's shadow in each and every Impala. Dean didn't know.
Sam had been gone for too long that his life became a deep pond of calm water. Those rocks Dean had led him through, be it The Apocalypse, the Gate of Purgatory or the Leviathans, now all the waves had been wiped from the tranquil surface no matter how loud a sound those rocks used to stir up.
It was just perfectly normal that his brother was so adamant and insistent about being a normal person. Everything they had been through was so overwhelmingly tiring, so it was very reasonable for him to try to take a break.
So Dean reminded himself not to disturb him.
He just watched over him, quietly, using New York as the starting point as well as the end of all his hunts, in the way Sam used New York as his base.
Sam didn't know he had been back from purgatory for more than three years already. Dean had even cut off his communication with other hunters just in case Sam caught wind of his return. Sometimes he felt like a fool for doing it, for Sam obviously didn't look like he had maintained contact with hunters.
Sammy had a smart little brain, he had always knew, and he still felt proud at this thought. The same way he felt proud when he bought his little brother candies and shouted "you little nerd" after Sam brought his straight As report card from school and their father did nothing. Despite all those years Sam wasted on hunting, back in law school he was still that excellent student and got his degree before the age of thirty, already working in one of New York's most famous law firms.
He remembered he was looking for Sam right after he got back from purgatory when a newsflash regarding his brother caught him off guard. Still raw as a lawyer yet already famous for a case on Richard Roman, Sam had become a rising star in the legal profession.
Immediately he rushed to New York in the Impala he had just bought, anxious to give Sam a hug in congratulation, yet he flinched the moment he laid eyes on him. Sam parked his Impala in front of his apartment building and a woman descended from the passenger seat. Together they took out bulging brown paper bags filled with a healthy lifestyle of fresh vegetables and fruits, and together the affectionate two went upstairs, his arm around her waist.
It was almost instinct that when Sam stepped inside the door, he turned around to glance at the street corner. It must have been his illusion, he thought, that an Impala had flashed in sight, for as he pulled himself together to look again, that car was nowhere to be found. It simply disappeared, along with this wishful thinking that for a moment he actually believed it just might have been true.
Dean couldn't give a sane analysis of his own psychology. Very much like a true voyeur or a tabloid journalist, he collected anything he could get his hands on about Sam Wesson in a state on the brink of madness. Therefor he got hold of his apartment number, his graduation scores, his job and workplace, his most frequented bar, the brand of his suit, and even his girlfriend's family status and cell number.
He was sure that the life Sam had led was the perfect interpretation of the American dream.
In his first month back from purgatory Dean had been furious owing to the perfect life Sam had, owing to the fact that Sam didn't even bothered to look for him, yet of all the reasons he fought his ass off trying to get back into the land of the living, the biggest one was that he thought Sam would have gone mad trying to look for him and end up making a complete mess of himself. He was wrong. Without him and all his crap about the family business of hunting, Sam had made himself a life of the most delicious apple pie. Working nine to five like one of those normal youngsters who had been successful from the moment they were born, he dived into the life of a normal person he had long craved and never looked back. No one knew he had once sacrificed himself in order to stop the Apocalypse, no one knew he had once lost his soul. His chequered past was wiped clean by New York's subway lines, no one knew who he actually was and no one would have believed.
It only occurred to Dean later that he should have realized it was practically a godsend for Sam to get out of it all safe and sound. He should have realized it sooner, he should have felt relieved for his brother, he damn well should have been grateful that Sam did not make the move he dreaded and did not end up in a mess because of him.
Dean didn't know if there was anything else better left for him to expect.
He drove the car to a junkyard and took out a crowbar from the trunk—this thing didn't even have a false bottom or any kind of hidden compartment to it—and smashed the window of the Impala with all the strength he could manage. Followed by its hood, then its doors, then finally its dying, moaning whole. Tears trickled down his cheeks in the rumbling noise and he considered them out of celebration to his brother's perfect, wonderful life. He convinced himself those were tears of joy.
He did not like this car at all, it looked too much like his baby but in the end it was not her. He went on and bought himself another car, just a random one, the kind you would be expected to stare it in the face for five minutes then forget which one it was the moment it blend into traffic. He drove the car to a number of places and solved a number of cases, mostly on his own and sometimes with the help of Benny when he didn't think he could manage alone. A guy had to have someone to talk to after all.
And now he was sitting in this crappy dirty car, watching as Sam dropped his girlfriend to work. The two snuggled and kissed a bit before Amelia went into that pet clinic.
The next thing Sam do would be to go to work. Dean didn't have any case on hand and couldn't think of anything else to do either, so he booked himself his favorite agenda for the day: watching Sammy. Just watch him, that's all.
But Sam didn't go to work, and it was only after he had drove behind Sam for a fairly long time before Dean realized they were on their way to the graveyard.
A big thankyou for those who've read this far!
The original work of my translation is one of the most popular fanfics among Chinese Supernatural fans, and I can confidently tell you guys it is by far my favorite multi-chapter Chinese Supernatural fanfic. It would really be a regret of my life if people from English speaking countries don't have a chance to enjoy it due to language barrier. I've tried my best to combine the almost-poetic style in the original work with the English way of speaking, but then I'm neither a professional translator nor a native English speaker so in my opinion the original work is far better than my translation, and I'd also apologize for any grammatical errors or typos or anything. All faults are entirely mine and have nothing to do with the original work.
But this story is definitely worth reading. Believe me. I was most touched when I myself read it that I literally cried and laughed and experienced heartbreak and joy with the characters.
The original work can be found on ao3 dot org. It's called 空坟墓, written by keepcup. It consists of 10 chapters and a total of 30 sections. Since it's a long story I'll update my translation based on sections instead of chapters.
So if you liked what you've read so far, please stay tuned in, and don't hesitate to leave comments! your comments are my best motivation:)
Also a few words to the original author keepcup: I really adore this story and tried to get authorization for my translation on mtslash forum. If you see this, pleeeease say yes!
I'm sorry my not is a bit too long at the beginning of this work, but it's only proof of my love towards this story and I promise it'll improve in the future!
If you want to create artwork based on this story, please get permission first. If you'd like to share this story elsewhere, please give a clear link to the original work or my translation:)