Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Suggestion for this story

Guest Review for Bones Rhett and Scarlett style: Chapter 55. Aug 23, 2024

I just thought - what if in the canon Scarlett had really kept a diary, and Rhett would have accidentally found it and got to know her true feelings and motives?

This is my interpretation of that thought.

Everything that is italicized is from the Canon. There is a lot. I have added a paragraph in the middle for clarification.

Prologue

Rhett and Bonnie were home again, without warning. The first intimation of their return was the sound of luggage being thumped on the front-hall floor and Bonnie's voice crying, "Mother!"

Scarlett hurried from her room to the top of the stairs and saw her daughter stretching her short plump legs in an effort to climb the steps. She swept Bonnie up into her arms and kissed her, thankful that the child's presence spared her first meeting alone with Rhett. Looking over Bonnie's head, she saw him in the hall below, paying the cab driver.

Rhett looked up, saw her and swept off his hat in a wide gesture, bowing as he did. When she met his dark eyes, her heart leaped. No matter what he was, no matter what he had done, he was home, and she was glad.

"Where's Mammy?" asked Bonnie, wriggling in Scarlett's grasp. Scarlett reluctantly set the child on her feet. It was going to be more difficult than she anticipated, greeting Rhett with just the proper degree of casualness, and as for telling him about the new baby! She looked at his face as he came up the steps, that dark nonchalant face, so impervious, so blank. No, she'd wait to tell him. She couldn't tell him right away. And yet, such tidings as these belonged first to a husband, for a husband was always happy to hear them. But she did not think he would be happy about it. She stood on the landing, leaning against the banisters, and wondered if he would kiss her.

Rhett did not. He only said: "You are looking pale, Mrs. Butler. Is there a rouge shortage?" No word of missing her, even if he didn't mean it. And he might have at least kissed her in front of Mammy who, after bobbing a curtsy, was leading Bonnie away down the hall to the nursery.

Rhett stood beside Scarlett on the landing, his eyes appraising her carelessly. "Can this pallor mean that you've been missing me?" he questioned, and though his lips smiled, his eyes did not.

So that was going to be Rhett's attitude. He was going to be as hateful as ever. Suddenly the child Scarlett was carrying became a nauseating burden instead of something she had gladly carried, and this man before her, standing carelessly with his wide Panama hat upon his hip, her bitterest foe, the cause of all her troubles. There was venom in her eyes as she answered, venom that was too unmistakable to be missed, and the smile went from his face. She said, "If I'm pale it's your fault and not because I've missed you, you conceited thing. It's because—" Oh, she hadn't intended to tell him like this but the hot words rushed to her lips and she flung them at him, careless of the servants who might hear. "It's because I'm going to have a baby!"

Rhett sucked in his breath suddenly and his eyes went rapidly over her. He took a quick step toward her as though to put a hand on her arm, but she twisted away from him, and before the hate in her eyes his face hardened.

"Indeed!" Rhett said coolly. "Well, who's the happy father? Ashley?"

Scarlett clutched the newel-post until the ears of the carved lion dug with sudden pain into her palm. Even she who knew him so well had not anticipated this insult. Of course, he was joking but there were some jokes too monstrous to be borne. She wanted to rake her sharp nails across his eyes and blot out that queer light in them.

"Damn you!" Scarlett began, her voice shaking with sick rage. "You—you know it's yours. And I don't want it any more than you do. No—no woman would want the children of a cad like you. I wish— Oh, God, I wish it was anybody's baby but yours!" She saw Rhett's swarthy face change suddenly, anger and something she could not analyze making it twitch as though stung.

'There!' Scarlett thought in a hot rage of pleasure. 'There! I've hurt him now!'

The old impassive mask was back across Rhett's face, and he stroked one side of his moustache. "Cheer up," he said, turning from her and starting up the stairs, "maybe you'll have a miscarriage."

For a dizzy moment Scarlett thought what childbearing meant: the nausea that tore her, the tedious waiting, the thickening of her figure, the hours of pain. Things no man could ever realize. And he dared to joke. She would claw him. Nothing but the sight of blood upon his dark face would ease this pain in her heart. She lunged for him, swift as a cat, but with a light startled movement, he sidestepped, throwing up his arm to ward her off. She was standing on the edge of the freshly waxed top step, and as her arm, with the whole weight of her body behind it, struck his out-thrust arm, she lost her balance. She made a wild clutch for the newel-post and missed it. She went down the stairs backwards, feeling a sickening dart of pain in her ribs as she landed. And, too dazed to catch herself, she rolled over and over to the bottom of the flight.

A few hours later

Scarlett was in her bed. She was in danger of dying. She had been hurt badly by her fall down the stairs. At least, one of her ribs was cracked but it might be even two or three. She was a mass of bruises even on her face. She had suffered a concussion. She had a deep gash on her arm that Dr. Meade had sewn up. She was fading in and out of consciousness. Everyone, including Dr. Meade, was afraid she was going to die. Rhett had carried her to her bed and paced around the room. He was constantly running his hands through his hair. He kept saying, "It is all my fault." Mammy couldn't take hearing that over and over again. It was the anguish in his voice that bothered her the most. She banished him to his bedroom across the hall.

Scarlett was forlorn and frightened and she was weak, pain-racked and bewildered. She knew she was in more danger than they dared tell her. She feebly realized that she might die. The broken rib stabbed when she breathed, her bruised face and head ached and her whole body was given over to demons who plucked at her with hot pincers and sawed on her with dull knives and left her, for short intervals, so drained of strength that she could not regain a grip on herself before they returned. No, childbirth had not been like this. She had been able to eat hearty meals two hours after Wade and Ella and Bonnie had been born, but now the thought of anything but cool water brought on feeble nausea. How easy it was to have a child and how painful not to have one! Strange, what a pang it had been even in her pain, to know that she would not have this child. Stranger still that it should have been the first child she really wanted. She tried to think about why she wanted it, but her mind was too tired. Her mind was too tired to think of anything except fear of death. Death was in the room, and she had no strength to confront it, to fight it back, and she was frightened. She wanted someone strong to stand by her and hold her hand and fight off death until enough strength came back for her to do her own fighting. Rage had been swallowed up in pain and she wanted Rhett. But he was not there, and she could not bring herself to ask for him. Her last memory of him was how he looked as he picked her up in the dark hall at the bottom of the steps, his face white and wiped clean of all save hideous fear, his voice hoarsely calling for Pork. Him telling Pork to go get Dr. Meade as he was racing up the stairs. There was a faint memory of being carried upstairs, before darkness came over her mind. And then pain and more pain and the room full of buzzing voices and Aunt Pittypat's sobs and Dr Meade's brusque orders and feet that hurried on the stairs and tiptoed in the upper hall. And then like a blinding ray of lightning, the knowledge of death and fear that suddenly made her try to scream a name and the scream was only a whisper.

That forlorn whisper brought instant response from somewhere in the darkness beside the bed and the soft voice of the one she called made answer in lullaby tones: "I'm here, dear. I've been right here all the time."

Death and fear receded gently as Melanie took her hand and laid it quietly against her cool cheek. Scarlett tried to turn to see her face and could not. Melly was having a baby and the Yankees were coming. The town was afire and she must hurry, hurry. But Melly was having a baby and she couldn't hurry. She must stay with her till the baby came and be strong because Melly needed her strength. Melly was hurting so bad—there were hot pincers at her and dull knives and recurrent waves of pain. She must hold Melly's hand. But Dr Meade was there after all, he had come, even if the soldiers at the depot did need him, because she heard him say: "Delirious. Where's Captain Butler?"

It was dark and then it was light. Sometimes Scarlett was having a baby and sometimes it was Melanie who cried out, but through it all Melly was there, and her hands were cool and she did not make futile anxious gestures or sob like Aunt Pitty. Whenever Scarlett opened her eyes, she said "Melly?" and the voice answered. And usually she started to whisper: "Rhett—I want Rhett" and remembered, as from a dream, that Rhett didn't want her, that Rhett's face was dark as an Indian's and his teeth were white in a jeer. She wanted him and he didn't want her.

Scarlett once again said "Melly?" and Mammy's voice said: "Hush, Child," and Mammy put a cold rag on her forehead, and she cried fretfully "Melly—Melanie" over and over but for a long time Melanie did not come.

For Melanie was sitting on the edge of Rhett's bed and he, drunk and sobbing, was sprawled on the floor, crying, his head in her lap. Every time she had come out of Scarlett's room she had seen him, sitting on his bed, his door wide, watching the door across the hall. The room was untidy, littered with cigar-butts and dishes of untouched food. The bed was tumbled and unmade and he sat on it, unshaven and suddenly gaunt, endlessly smoking. He never asked questions when he saw her.

Melanie always stood in the doorway for a minute, giving the news: "I'm sorry, she's worse," or "No, she hasn't asked for you yet. You see, she's delirious" or "You mustn't give up hope, Captain Butler. Let me fix you some hot coffee and something to eat. You'll make yourself ill."

Melanie's heart always ached with pity for him, although she was almost too tired and sleepy to feel anything. How could people say such mean things about him—say he was heartless and wicked and unfaithful to Scarlett, when she could see him getting thin before her eyes, see the torment in his face?

Tired as Melly was, she always tried to be kinder than usual when she gave bulletins from the sick room. Rhett looked so like a damned soul waiting judgment—so like a child in a suddenly hostile world. But everyone was like a child to Melanie. But when, at last, she went joyfully to his door to tell him that Scarlett was better, she was unprepared for what she found. There was a half-empty bottle of whisky on the table by the bed and the room reeked with the odor. He looked up at her with brightly glazed eyes and his jaw muscles trembled despite his efforts to set his teeth. "She's dead?"

"Oh, no. She's much better."

"Oh, my God," and Rhett put his head in his hands. Melly saw his wide shoulders shake as with a nervous chill and, as she watched him pityingly, her pity changed to horror because she saw that he was crying. She had never seen a man cry and of all men, Rhett, so suave, so mocking, so eternally sure of himself. It frightened her, the desperate choking sound he made. She had a terrified thought that he was drunk, and Melanie was afraid of drunkenness. But when he raised his head and she caught one glimpse of his eyes, she stepped swiftly into the room, closed the door softly behind her and went to him.

Melly had never seen a man cry, but she had comforted the tears of many children. When she put a soft hand on Rhett's shoulder, his arms went suddenly around her skirts. Before she knew how it happened, she was sitting on the bed and he was on the floor, his head in her lap and his arms and hands clutching her in a frantic clasp that hurt her. She stroked the black head gently and said: "There! There!" soothingly. "There! She's going to get well."

At Melly's words, Rhett's grip tightened and he began speaking rapidly, hoarsely, babbling as though to a grave which would never give up its secrets, babbling the truth for the first time in his life, baring himself mercilessly to Melanie who was, at first, utterly uncomprehending, utterly maternal. He talked brokenly, burrowing his head in her lap, tugging at the folds of her skirt. Sometimes his words were blurred, muffled, sometimes they came far too clearly to her ears, harsh, bitter words of confession and abasement, speaking of things she had never heard even a woman mention, secret things that brought the hot blood of modesty to her cheeks and made her grateful for his bowed head.

Melly patted his head as she did little Beau's and said: "Hush! Captain Butler! You must not tell me these things! You are not yourself. Hush!"

Rhett's voice went on in a wild torrent of outpouring and he held to her dress as though it were his hope of life. He accused himself of deeds she did not understand; he mumbled the name of Belle Watling and then he shook her with his violence as he cried: "I've killed Scarlett, I've killed her. You don't understand. She didn't want this baby and—"

"You must hush! You are beside yourself! Not want a baby? Why, every woman wants—"

"No! No! You want babies. But she doesn't. Not my babies—"

"You must stop!"

"You don't understand. She didn't want a baby and I made her. This—this baby—it is all my damned fault. We hadn't been sleeping together—"

"Hush, Captain Butler! It is not fit—"

"And I was drunk and insane and I wanted to hurt her—because she had hurt me. I wanted to—and I did—but she didn't want me. She's never wanted me. She never has and I tried—I tried so hard and—"

"Oh, please!"

"And I didn't know about this baby till I arrived home yesterday then she fell. She didn't know where I was to write to me and tell me—but she wouldn't have written me if she had known. I tell you—I tell you I'd have come straight home—if I'd only known—whether she wanted me home or not …"

"Oh, yes, I know you would!"

"God, I've been crazy these weeks, crazy and drunk! And when she told me, there on the steps—what did I do? What did I say? I laughed and said: "Cheer up. Maybe you'll have a miscarriage." And she—"

Melanie suddenly went white and her eyes widened with horror as she looked down at the black tormented head writhing in her lap. The afternoon sun streamed in through the open window and suddenly she saw, as for the first time, how large and brown and strong his hands were and how thickly the black hairs grew along the backs of them. Involuntarily, she recoiled from them. They seemed so predatory, so ruthless and yet, twined in her skirt, so broken, so helpless. Could it be possible that he had heard and believed the preposterous lie about Scarlett and Ashley and become jealous? True, he had left town immediately after the scandal broke but— No, it couldn't be that. Captain Butler was always going off abruptly on journeys. He couldn't have believed the gossip. He was too sensible. If that had been the cause of the trouble, wouldn't he have tried to shoot Ashley? Or at least demanded an explanation? No, it couldn't be that. It was only that he was drunk and sick from strain and his mind was running wild, like a man delirious, babbling wild fantasies. Men couldn't stand strains as well as women. Something had upset him, perhaps he had had a small quarrel with Scarlett and magnified it. Perhaps some of the awful things he had said were true. But all of them could not be true. Oh, not that last, certainly! No man could say such a thing to a woman he loved as passionately as this man loved Scarlett. Melanie had never seen evil, never seen cruelty, and now that she looked on them for the first time, she found them too inconceivable to believe. He was drunk and sick. And sick children must be humored. "There! There!" she said softly. "Hush, now. I understand."

Rhett raised his head violently and looked up at Melly with bloodshot eyes, fiercely throwing off her hands. "No, by God, you don't understand! You can't understand! You're—you're too good to understand. You don't believe me but it's all true and I'm a dog. Do you know why I did it? I was mad, crazy with jealousy. She never cared for me, and I thought I could make her care. But she never cared. She doesn't love me. She never has. She loves—"

Rhett's passionate, drunken gaze met Melly's and he stopped, mouth open, as though for the first time he realized to whom he was speaking. Her face was white and strained but her eyes were steady and sweet and full of pity and unbelief. There was a luminous serenity in them and the innocence in the soft brown depths struck him like a blow in the face, clearing some of the alcohol out of his brain, halting his mad, careering words in mid-flight. He trailed off into a mumble, his eyes dropping away from hers, his lids batting rapidly as he fought back to sanity. "I'm a cad," he muttered, dropping his head tiredly back into her lap. "But not that big a cad. And if I did tell you, you wouldn't believe me, would you? You're too good to believe me. I never before knew anybody who was really good. You wouldn't believe me, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't believe you," said Melanie soothingly, beginning to stroke his hair again. "She's going to get well. There, Captain Butler! Don't cry! She's going to get well."

Author's Notes: In the canon the next scene is a month later. Rhett puts a pale, frail-looking Scarlett on the train to Jonesboro.

I want to know what happened the next month. I want to know how Rhett treated Melanie after confessing all his sins. I want to know what Melanie thought after having heard Rhett's confession. I want to know what Rhett did during that month. Did he spend time with Scarlett? Or did he remain outside her bedroom door?

So, I answered those questions for myself and you too.

I picked this time in Rhett's and Scarlett's marriage because at this time she values Melly and is annoyed at Ashley. She is not seeing Ashley as perfect at this moment.

A miscarriage while falling down the stairs during the first trimester is not very likely. During this stage, the fetus is incredibly small, and the positioning makes it hard for a fall down the stairs to cause a miscarriage. The baby sits low in the pelvis and is well protected by the mother's pelvis bones. From VeryWellFamily.

Just my opinion but I think Scarlett overreacted to Rhett's statement about her pallor. In all honesty she should have been expecting an unkind comment from him.

I also think throughout the novel if there is a wrong way to see things, both Rhett and Scarlett will take it that way.

What I have Scarlett writing in her diary were thoughts taken from the canon. The three months after Ashley's birthday party.

One last thing – This one sentence bothers me. But Dr Meade was there after all, he had come, even if the soldiers at the depot did need him, because she heard him say: "Delirious. Where's Captain Butler?"

Why didn't someone go get Rhett?

Chapter One.

Melanie said, "You must not think the thoughts you have been thinking. Scarlett loves you very much. These last three months she has talked of nothing but you and Bonnie. I am glad you are home. She will need you during her recovery."

Rhett heard the words that Melanie had said, but he did not believe her. He knew who Scarlett loved and it wasn't him. He just kept his head in her lap. It felt so good for someone to try to comfort him. He briefly wondered how long it had been since someone had offered him comfort. Not since his own mammy had died.

Rhett and Melly stayed like that for the next ten minutes until Dr. Meade opened the door and walked into the room. He looked at the scene and dismissed it. Maybe even Captain Butler had a heart. Who knew? Arthur said while looking at Rhett, "It is still touch and go, but there is nothing anyone can do for her, but pray she and the baby survive."

"The baby is still alive?!"

"I didn't see any signs of her having a miscarriage. Keep her comfortable, but not too much laudanum. You have to think of the baby."

"Of course. Of course."

Rhett got himself under control. He got his handkerchief out and wiped his eyes and blew his nose. He stood up and said, "Miss Melly, you need to get home. You are asleep standing on your feet. I'm sure, Mr. Wilkes is worried to death about you. Let me go get the carriage made ready for you."

"Captain Butler…"

With a voice incredibly formal and firm, Rhett said, "No. It is time for you to go home."

"Yes. Let me get my belongings."

"I will meet you in the foyer."

A few minutes later, Melly was in the foyer and Rhett said, "Joseph will be bringing the carriage around for you."

"Captain Butler…."

When Melly saw Captain Butler's face, she knew better than to say anything more. He was embarrassed at his earlier emotional display. The only thing she could do was allow him to save as much of his pride as possible. As Melly walked out the door, she said, "See you tomorrow."

"Yes, tomorrow."

As Melanie settled herself in the carriage, she allowed herself to dose for a minute. When she awoke when the carriage arrived at her home, she decided that her mind had been playing tricks on her and most of what Captain Butler had said had been a lie. It was easy for her to delude herself because she could not believe that Captain Butler had done such awful things. No decent man would have.

Melly also knew that because Captain Butler loved Scarlett he was consumed by jealousy. She knew that because of his insecurity over Scarlett he had believed the lies. Now that he was back and had calmed down, he would realize that everything India, Archie, and even Mrs. Elsing had said were lies brought about by jealousy. Although Mrs. Elsing had recanted her statement about Ashley and Scarlett. Melanie had not made up her mind whether she was going to forgive Mrs. Elsing or not.

Rhett walked upstairs and got himself cleaned up. He did look like he had been hit by a train. It was plain to see that he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. He called for some hot water and made himself presentable. Once he was finished, he walked into the nursery.

There was Wade, Ella, and Bonnie. Prissy was with them. Rhett looked at Wade's anxious face. He was the only one old enough to understand that his mother was seriously hurt. Rhett said, "Your mother had an accident. She fell down the stairs. She has been severely injured. Dr. Meade expects her to make a full recovery. Once she is well enough, I will let you see her."

Wade said, "Is she going to die?"

"No, she isn't going to die."

Ella said, "What does die mean?"

Rhett said, "You don't need to worry about it. It isn't going to happen." When Ella started to speak, Rhett cut her off and asked, "Have you all had dinner?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Then I think it is time you took a nap, Bonnie. I will join you for supper. I am going to go over my accounts that I have neglected because of my travels."

Rhett had a meal brought to him on a tray. He made a serious attempt to eat the food although it was tasteless to him. He spent the afternoon going over his accounts although he did have to re-add several columns and re-read several bits of correspondence. His mind kept going to Scarlett and he was racked with guilt for his words. His words that had almost killed her.

After supper Rhett escorted the children to the nursery. He turned them over to Prissy. He went to Scarlett's bedroom. Mammy was there. He said, "You go on and put the children to bed and go to bed yourself. Bonnie will sleep in the nursery. If she has a nightmare. I will come to her and comfort her. Dr. Meade said Scarlett and the baby would probably survive. I will sit with her. If she needs anything I will come get you. You need to be rested to take care of her tomorrow. You are asleep standing on your feet."

"The baby is still…."

"Yes. At least for now. Go on now."

"Yes, Mr. Rhett."

After Mammy had left, Rhett walked over and sat on the bed. Scarlett looked horrible and he felt awful. Where had his infamous reflexes gone? When he saw her beginning to fall, he had grabbed for her, but he had missed. He had missed! He ran down the stairs after she had tried to stop her fall, but it wasn't until she reached the floor in the foyer that her motion had stopped. He had quickly scooped her up and started calling for Pork. As he ascended the stairs two at a time, Pork came into the foyer. Rhett had screamed, "Go get Dr. Meade. Scarlett is seriously hurt."

The last twenty-four hours had been hell. Rhett had been sure Scarlett was going to die, and it would have been all his fault. He had waited and waited hoping she would call for him, but she hadn't. He was going to sleep next to her one more time. Maybe tomorrow night also if she was still semi-incoherent. He would give up then. He would stop hoping. He would stop wishing. He would stop trying. He needed to accept she would never love him.

No, to Scarlett Rhett was just a disgusting, horrible man that she was forced to live with. She had said having sex with him was awful. She had said, 'No—no woman would want the children of a cad like you. I wish— Oh, God, I wish it was anybody's baby but yours!"

Rhett would make his life as tolerable as it could be. Bonnie would become his entire world. She practically already was. No, wait, he would have the other baby also. He smiled.

Rhett took off his shoes and his shirt and laid down next to Scarlett. He left his pants on in case he had to go get Mammy in a hurry. He laid down on top of the covers. He gently and carefully took her into his arms. He fell asleep quickly. He wasn't troubled. His course in life was set. He would once again be alone.

In the middle of the night, Rhett heard Scarlett loudly say, "Melly! Melly!"

"I'm right here."

A confused Scarlett said, "Rhett? What are you doing here?"

"I'm taking care of you."

Scarlett tried to put her arms around him but stopped. It hurt too much to move her arms. In a confused voice, Scarlett said, "I hurt so bad. I can't move my arms without it hurting. I dreamed I fell down the stairs."

"You did fall down the stairs, but you are going to be just fine. Go back to sleep."

"You are in bed with me. I don't understand. Light the gas lamp." Rhett did. Scarlett continued, "Why are you sleeping with me."

"Someone had to sit with you. I sent Melly home and Mammy to bed. I got sleepy and decided to lay down. I hope you don't mind."

Scarlett looked at Rhett with a puzzled expression. She said, "Why would I mind?"

"I am a cad."

"Well yes, but you are also my husband."

That made Rhett smile, he said, "That is true."

"You look bad. Why do you look so bad?"

Rhett smiled. He guessed despite him having cleaned himself up he still looked bad. He said flippantly, "I was up all last night waiting to see if you were going to die or not."

With a confused look on her face, Scarlett said, "Die?! What happened to me?"

"You don't remember?"

"No. I don't remember anything. I don't even remember you coming home. When did you get home? Never mind for now. Rhett, I hurt all over. Give me some laudanum."

"Of course, let me get it."

Rhett got the bottle and the spoon. He poured out a serving and started to give it to Scarlett. He stopped. He said, "You can't sit up yet. Let me lift up your head."

Once that was accomplished, Scarlett said, "Get back in the bed. I don't have the nightmares when I am sleeping with you."

Rhett smiled and got back on the bed. He remained on top of the covers. He didn't know why he did. There was nothing wrong with them being in the same bed together. They were husband and wife. Furthermore, he had absolutely no sexual desire. It was plain to see that Scarlett was in no condition to participate in any physical activity.

Rhett gently took her into his arms. He rolled her over, so she was lying on top of him. Just the way he liked. He said, "We can't have you having a nightmare. Not tonight."

"Thank you for taking care of me even though you don't care about me."

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you didn't want me."

"I want you and your beautiful mind. I remember saying I wanted your mind."

"You did say that. And my heart."

"I have been across the hall this entire time. They wouldn't let me in because it isn't proper for a man to be in your sick room."

"But I needed you to fight off death."

"Miss Melly was able to fight off death for you, but I'm here now and I will not let death get you or the baby. You can go back to sleep."

"The baby?"

"The baby is still alive. He is a fighter like his parents."

"You believe the baby…."

"Of course, the baby is mine. You would never be unfaithful to me."

"Don't go."

"I won't go until they run me out."

"Alright."

Rhett now knew why Scarlett hadn't called for him. She thought he didn't want her. He would have to undo the damage his words had done. He went back to sleep with a tiny, tiny bubble of hope. The bubble of hope was smaller than a molecule of water, but, nonetheless, it was still there.