Chapter 1: Agreement
It's dark. I can't feel nor move my body.
…
Is this what it feels to try to break the rules of the universe and fail?
…
I just wanted to save them… From the mistakes I have made…
…
Was it too much to ask for…?
"Hey."
Am I going to die here…?
"Hey."
And alone for all the time…?
"Hey!"
"...!"
The character finally stares back at me. I can't make out its form because of the darkness we find ourselves in.
"Greetings, random NPC."
I can't see it clearly, but I'm sure it looks confused and scared. I mean, it's kinda acceptable in this situation.
"So…"
"Could you mind telling what you are doing out of bounds of your game's world? Are you a bug or something?"
It tilts its head, not understanding the situation it is currently in.
"I came here to see if her game didn't have anything dangerous or something inside of it, but I ended up finding something even weirder, huh?"
Until I noticed one thing. Eyes coming from a screen, from far away. But I know they are seeing me, or in the least, my words.
"It seems that I have attracted the attention of some folk, seeing as you are reading this… Well then, I'll allow you to observe, strangers."
The character is trying to find the people I just mentioned. But it's kinda impossible.
I decided to check the logs of this game, see if there's anything wrong with its programming and such.
But what I found was a bit more complicated than a mere bug or glitch.
"Well, unfortunately I have some bad news for you…"
"But first. How about I tell you all a resume of a story that seems to be connected to all this?"
The character is even more confused, but reluctantly nods.
"Good. Let us begin then."
Once upon a time, there was a game, created with love, and far from the visions of greedy companies. Its name?
A simple and infant 3D platformer, it joined the world of games as one of the first 3D platformers to come out for a home console for the Nintendo 64. Alongside the legendary title of an italian gentleman, these games conquered the hearts of those who played them.
The premise was simple.
Inside its vast and peculiar landscape, lies the fabled Spiral Mountain, where our heroes have lived their lives in peace ever since.
To think this same peaceful land was once the home of the wicked witch, who one time kidnapped one of the hero's little sister to obtain her youth and beauty out of jealousy. Of course, that plan resulted in her being defeated by the combo, even forcing them to join a weird game of questions, to which they didn't have much difficulty with. Once there, they followed the witch to the top of her headquarters, where our heroes fought her with all the skills they learned during their travels. Soon the wicked witch was defeated, being knocked out of the tower she resided onto to the ground below as a huge boulder fell on the hole the impact created, trapping her below.
Soon, a sequel was created, but before that, we shall speak on an obscure game in its franchise.
You think that would be enough to stop the menace that was the wicked witch, but hoho… That's where her hatred for bears began as her vow of vengeance was made.
You think being stuck in a hole on the ground would keep her busy, but no… No, it was far from over. She ordered one of her most loyal minions, an ogre, to push the boulder off where she stood, where the big green creature struggled and struggled to push it, never being capable of removing the boulder as 2 months passed.
This is the prequel of said game, happening before the sequel.
Noticing that he wouldn't be able to move that dang rock, The ogre built a machine for Witch's ghost to possess called Mecha-Witch, which she used to kidnap one of the heroes and travels back into the past as to stop these two meddlesome animals from ever going against her. But once again, the bear and bird managed to beat her spirit and sent her back to the hole she now belongs to.
You think by now, the wicked witch finally understood that she couldn't win against the heroic duo… But that was the last thing that was in the witch's mind as two years passed since she buried herself alive as the ogre continued to move the dang stone, without success of course.
Now, this is the sequel. Created soon after the first game, before the prequel of itself and considered by many to be either an upgrade or downgrade of the original one.
That's when something unexpected happened. the witch's sisters, a fat one and a thin one, showed up on Spiral Mountain to free her stuck butt from the dirt with a huge drill machine called Hag 1. But instead of using the drill, they used levitation magic. Go figure.
As the witch was finally free from the ground, she emerged from her grave, only to realize that her body had decomposed, only bones remaining from what once was her horrid green skin.
Disgusted by this, she tells her sisters to arrange a new body for her, which they agree upon, but before leaving, the revenge-filled witch decides to attack the duo's household as one of their friends, a shaman, was spying on them. Upon launching a devastating magic spell, she destroys the home of our heroes, but thankfully all of them survived… Except for one mole with glasses that thought it was just a joke. He died afterwards.
Once again, the duo had to go confront the evil skeletal witch who was planning to suck all life on Isle o' Hags to create a new body for her. From new lands to her own industry, soon our heroes reach the tower where the weapon that sucks life, Cauldron Keep.
After beating her in a game of questions again, the duo stopped the life-sucking machine and brought back to life people who the witch had killed. Once the machine was turned off, the witch challenged them to a fight to the death at the top of Cauldron Keep, where she used HAG-1 to destroy them… But once again, the bear and the bird brought the witch to the ground as her machine exploded into millions pieces, only leaving her with her head intact.
You would think that finally after this, she would consider her life options. I mean, any normal person would… But this is the wicked witch we are talking about, so of course she didn't.
After seven years doing absolutely nothing, these characters would clash again, but my god, their appearances and physical characteristics were so… so… bad! Something had to be changed as these clashes were getting tiresome!
The duo was changed to a more fit form and for the witch? She became what seems to be an android, it seems.
Once it was done, they were sent to Showdown Town, where their objective was clear. The duo were to return to Spiral Mountain after gaining new parts for the vehicle it was provided to them and the metallic witch simply had to create machines to stop them as both their goals would be a deed to claim Spiral Mountain for themselves.
Her goal was simple: Take the land and industrialize it to become an industrialized acres, where she would develop her evil schemes.
After venturing in different scenarios, the duo came back to their homeland and managed to beat the metallic witch to submission, claiming their reward.
As for her punishment for losing the game? She was forced to work in a video game factory for as long as she existed.
One day she claims to create her own video game, to get back at them.
Since then, their franchise has been stuck in video game limbo… Until they seemingly appeared inside a tournament where the strongest video game characters fight as a special character.
Where could they go after this? Who knows.
"Now. You are probably confused as to why I just told you their story, right?"
The character beside me simply nods, bewildered by it.
"Well, you see… You are from the game the wicked witch made."
"...?!" The character becomes even more confused.
"And you, just like your creator, messed with the space-time continuum that your game offered, but differently from her, you failed to maintain it. Thus, sending you out of bounds." I told her with a deadpan expression on my face.
"You were lucky that I found you before you were erased from existence or maybe being stuck in here for your entire life, you know?"
The character can't help but tremble at this remark.
"I… I just wanted to save them…!" Tears start to appear in its eyes.
It seems that it wanted to save the world. But it's impossible due to Gruntilda's influence on it.
It can't help but be frightened by the mere thought of it.
But there is a solution.
"Now, now. I have seen your game's lore and I must say… It's quite depressing. Typical of the witch, wanting people to suffer even at her own game." I tell it with honesty.
"So. How about this?"
The character raises its head to me.
"I shall send someone to help your world get a better ending than what Gruntilda wanted to create."
"!" The character's eyes widened as it heard what I proposed.
Is there a way to save them?
She must be thinking.
"For someone like myself, things like this are easy to do like pie. But…" I glanced at it.
"There are conditions, of course." I told the character.
I can see on its face that it is clearly scared of what's to come. But I can also see something else in its blue eyes.
Determination.
Even if it means going against her creator, it would gladly do it to save its world.
"I-I…" It began to speak, clearly shaking.
"If it means that I can make things right… I'll accept it." It says.
Its bravery is remarkable, that's for sure. I applaud that, since this will make her useful for me.
"Good! Let's get to it then." As I said that, I placed the contact in front of it.
"Sign it here and you shall obtain the help you so desire." I smiled towards it.
It nodded as I created a feather pen in front of her.
It signs. It's done, so no going back now.
I created a portal in front of us. "Now with that out of the way, follow me."
"W-Where are we going?" It asks.
"To the place where my chosen champions are, dear." I told the character.
I let the character step in as I identify its characteristics as the portal shines its body, brightening the dark void if just a little bit.
It was a female avatar, having long sky-blue hair that's violet on the inner side, long bangs that cover her left eye, and a loose braid tied on her left side. But what intrigues me is the weird looking halo above her head.
How come that witch managed to think of the concept of angels in a video game? I hate to admit it, but she has learned a lot ever since she joined the factory.
This is why I wanted to fix her game before she ships it to some random company. This game… has potential.
It takes a lot to make me, the Lord of Games, to praise your game after all.
As the girl phased through the portal, I followed her.
Our destination? To the place where the only ones capable of going against Gruntilda's antics are located.
Spiral Mountain.
It's another beautiful day in Isle o' Hags. No rain, no harsh sun… Just a bright blue sky with a few clouds to cover out the sunshine occasionally.
Under one of the many trees, a character that looks like a bear with yellow shorts and a blue backpack, rests peacefully under its shadow, snoring loudly as he shuffles around.
As he's moving around, the backpack shakes uncontrollably, until it opens itself, revealing a red-looking bird living inside of it. How she manages to live there, nobody knows for sure.
"Banjo. Wake up, Banjo!" She demands the human size bear to listen to her.
"Wake up, you big teddy bear! You've been rolling around this tree for hours! I'm starting to get bed sores because of you!"
She starts pecking his head as the bear groggily lifts his head, blinking.
"Mmngh… Good morning, Kazooie…"
"It's not morning, it's afternoon, you huge fur ball!" She angrily remarks as she pecks his head once more, waking up the groggy character.
"Ow… What was that for?" He asks, annoyed by her actions.
"Banjo, you have been sleeping since morning!" She remarks, some of her veins almost popping out of her head.
"Actually, when are we going to do something worth it for once?! I'm getting very angry by the fact that we haven't done anything interesting for 6 years! SIX YEARS!" She complains.
"Oh, c'mon Kazooie. It can't be this bad." He counters it.
"Bad? BAD?! Banjo, we've been stuck inside Spiral Mountain ever since we got the land's deed with that computer machine at the end of his stupid game and since we haven't got a new game ever since, nobody showed up to cause more chaos for us to solve!"
"The last thing we actually did was being invited to that fighting tournament!" She remarks, her eyes brightening as she recalls it.
"That's true. I even met up with my old buddy Diddy Kong there! It was really nice to catch up to speed with him and his friends." He smiles.
"I remember you were too shy to meet him when I went kart racing with him, you didn't even leave the backpack once during the whole adventure."
"I was SHY that time! I didn't know that was going to be the last time we would see him!"
She puffed her beak, crossing her wings in irritation.
"Anyway! Ever since we fought in the tournament, the flame inside my feathery body has rekindled and I need to kick someone's butt!"
"Resuming… I'M BORED! If there's anything I wish for right now would be something bad to happen!" She proclaims to the world, annoyed by the peaceful atmosphere around her.
"Kazooie, just because you asked, doesn't mean a villain is gonna suddenly show up…"
As the honey bear speaks his mind, maybe out of pity or complete coincidence, a portal shows up close to where they are.
"YES! Something is finally going to happen!" Kazooie cheerfully declares, excited about what's to come.
"Ugh… Me and my big mouth…" Banjo speaks, frustrated as he gets up and makes his with his bird companion towards the strange gate.
…
"Hmmmmm… This seems familiar." Banjo can't help but think about it, putting his paw on his chin.
"Ah!" He remembers something. "This looks like one of the portals from Showdown Town!"
"Ugh… That only means that the L.C.D. brain is behind this." Kazooie's expectations lowered as quickly as it got up.
"You called?"
As a voice is heard behind the red bird, she screams her lungs out, scared of the sudden apparition.
"DON'T DO THAT, YOU METAL HEAD!" She complains, holding her chest with one of her feathery arms.
"Mr. L.O.G.! Long time no see!" Banjo cheerfully welcomes the being in front of him.
"Greetings, Banjo the Bear and Kazooie the Breegull." He greets them. "Have you enjoyed your undetermined vacation time?"
"It has been peaceful, Mr. L.O.G." Banjo gladly tells him, only to be pecked once again in the head by Kazooie.
"Yeah… NOT! I am so bored I might start praying for some chaos to happen so that I can fight like no one else!" She screams.
"Heh. Then you will like what I have to offer. I've come to make an "agreement" with you two." The robot explains.
"What is it this time, tin can?" She angrily looks at him. "Are we finally getting another game or something?"
"Unfortunately not. But I got something else."
"A collaboration of sorts." He nods to himself.
As he says that, another portal appears before him, this time a new figure appearing from it.
It's a girl… with something akin to an angel's halo above her head.
"Doesn't she look like a pretty version of Gruntilda's species? Except that she is not green?" Kazooie remarks.
"Yeah, she looks like most of the people from the tournament game, for sure." Banjo emphasizes it more.
"Wait, is that… blood on her clothes?" Banjo notices it.
"Do not worry. I have healed her before sending her here." L.O.G. tells the duo.
"Now. Explain to them what you have told me." She looks at the angelic girl.
But she just stays there, flabbergasted.
"Banjo-Sensei…? Kazooie-Sensei…?" She mumbled.
"What's a Sensei though?" Kazooie says it out loud.
"Is it something to eat?" Banjo asks.
"Hello... I…" She gulps, but raises her head once again, this time with determination in her eyes.
"I… I need help! My world is going to be destroyed if nothing is done to prevent it!"
"Oh dear. I didn't expect this." Banjo says surprised.
"Wait a minute, why should we care about that in the first place? We don't even know you!"
The red bird brings out a good point.
"I mean, we didn't know most of the folk we helped during our journey through Isle o' Hags so-" Before Banjo could finish it…
"Banjo, be quiet! I'm speaking here on our behalf!" Kazooie interferes. "Plus, they did give us rewards, have you forgotten?"
She looks at the strange girl. "You don't expect us to just throw ourselves into this so-called "doomed" world without receiving a reward for our efforts, right?"
She stays quiet for a bit, trying to think of something to offer… Until the robot approached her.
"Then let's make it like this. I shall put your collectables in the game world she comes from and make it so you guys have to collect them in order to progress the story. I'll even give you your past abilities." Kazooie is happy to receive her old skills back, but she's not fully convinced with what the mechanical god is offering. "Plus…" The robot looks at Kazooie.
"There will be a lot of villains there to have their butts kicked, you know?" The bird stood still once she heard this.
"And just so you know… This girl comes from a game Gruntilda created. She has learned a lot of things while stuck in my video game factory, you know?" Kazooie's face starts to grow a smile. "There's also a good chance that she will appear in the game to try to stop you guys so… You could kick her ass once more."
Upon hearing that, Kazooie lifted herself from the backpack she was in, almost flying without a pad specific for that.
"Sign me up, NOW!" She demands.
"W-Wait, what about the rewards and stuff, Kazooie?!" Banjo says.
"Who cares?! I get to kick some villain butt, it's good enough for me!"
"Heh. So, will you go to her world and save it from Gruntilda's antics too, bear?"
Banjo sighs, but nods.
"Good. Now… About the game you two will be going."
The duo focused on the television robot.
"It's a tactical RPG school full of teenage girls with guns, set in a land filled with academies and etcetera."
"... What?" Both say it at the same time.
"So as to make it easier for you to adjust to the setting, I'll be making you into a role suitable for it. You two will turn into their teachers or how they like to say it, Senseis."
"Wait, wait! What do you mean guns?!" Banjo tries to get answers from L.O.G. about this, only to be ignored completely.
"Banjo." Kazooie calls for her bear friend.
"Yes?" He answers her.
"…We're gonna die, aren't we?" She asks him.
"At this point, I just hope they have snacks." He answers her.
After accepting their new mission, Banjo and Kazooie scavenged their home for the adventure ahead of them, collecting eggs of all types for ammunition and feathers for the occasional necessity. As soon as it was done, they met with L.O.G. and the girl in front of the collapsed cave that once led to Isle o' Hags.
"Now that you have collected your resources. Let us begin." The mech speaks.
"Now, if you please." He looks at the girl, signaling her to explain her situation as she nods.
"... It was all my fault." She begins.
She began explaining how many decisions caused her world to fall apart, resulting in people she loved dying in front of her eyes. And so, she decided to mess with the world itself, making it collapse as the game had to be reset.
That ended up causing the world to think that she was a bug and therefore, she was sent to the void, to be forgotten as to never let that happen again. Until she was found by L.O.G.
Banjo couldn't help but be saddened by what she told them.
"Therefore, Banjo and Kazooie Sensei…"
"You are the only ones capable of saving Kivotos once again."
"She hands them a letter, which Kazooie immediately pecks at and puts inside her backpack home, causing the girl to giggle.
"Hehe, you really haven't changed at all, Kazooie-Sensei."
"Great, we are dealing with time travel shenanigans again." Although angered, she melted down after hearing her story.
"So please… Find Nanagami Rin and help her deal with the crisis Kivotos is currently facing."
"Only you two can free us from this twisted and distorted fate created by the wicked witch…"
"Lead us to a new reality that we can live in peace, please!"
"Press A to accept now." L.O.G. says with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah, yeah! Let's go kick some butt already, Banjo!" Kazooie excitedly tell her furry friend.
"Ok then, you two take care of yourselves, alright?" He says, hoping that the girl would find peace on her own.
The two followed suit as the portal sucked them to the new reality that awaited them… Alongside their new job as teachers.
"... Mr. L.O.G. Thank you for the chance you have given me. To make things right again."
"Oh please, I'm simply doing my part of the contract."
"You will turn into my secretary for an undetermined amount of time. So expect to be forced to work for a loooooong time now."
"Yes!"
The girl cheerfully smiles, although she doesn't know what will happen… She knows that the future looks promising from now on.
Author's Notes:
Hey guys! Have you enjoyed this quick pilot for another story I wanted to make?
To be honest, I was playing Banjo-Kazooie the other day and I thought to myself... Why not try to make the duo Senseis for Blue Archive?
So I decided to give it a shot! Although I admit, I had no idea how to make a good premise for it, so I just yolo'd it, hahahahahaha!
Thanks for reading and hopefully it will not take long before I'll upload another chapter of this crack fanfic that I made, hehe.