Bob the Bard's Grand Adventure

Prelude

One morning Bob the bard (who is almost level nine) was in his room studying an ancient magical tome full of seemingly whimsical children's tales that just begged to be turned into a song or tale. It had only recently been found during a recent adventure to a far land and had yet to be studied. Lo and behold he came upon some pages stuck together that he carefully eased apart and found there a new story with glowing letters. Curiosity got the better of him as he began to read.

By continuing to read after the end of this sentence you willfully enter into an adventure. You feel a strange sensation come over you as things seem to slow down. Your vision fades along with your consciousness… "

As the sun rose the next day over the Great Keep of Saffin the maid that cleans Bob's room came upon an odd pile of cloths and magic items with a glowing tome beside them on a reading stand. She recognized Bob's cloths and some of his items amongst the scattered writing material on the reading stand. But most worrying to her was the open and glowing magic tome so she high tailed it to report her find.

Now let the adventure begin.

Chapter 1

Bob awoke to the sounds of nature as his eyes slowly focused upon a strange forest of colossal trees and giant plants. Realizing that he was lying naked in the moist dirt, Bob wove a rough skirt out of plants to hide his modesty and found a good branch for a club. He made his way through the forest marking a trail as he went until he heard the faint sound of running water. Upon the crest of a small ridge he saw some clear pools of water just below him and made his way down the slippery slope to the pools. A spring just upstream fed a series of larger pools before going down stream to places unknown.

After checking the pool for dangers lurking inside Bob set aside his leafy garment and eased into the pool to clean and refresh himself as he sang a little ditty. As he washed himself he suddenly heard a female voice at his ear and a feminine body pressed against his back with two delicate blue arms reaching around his chest caressing him.

Let me help you clean yourself off, the voice purred. Welcome to my pool. I am Tellia the water fairy. Too what do I owe the honour of a visit from such a refined person like yourself? Water magically rose up his body following her arms motion, carrying away what little dirt that was still upon Bob. She slowly and methodically washed Bob, paying special attention down below to Bobs "little buddy" who seemed to be "waking up". Bob tried to explain his situation but Tellia just took him by the hand saying he can tell her later as she led him into her lonely abode where Bob returned the favour of her aid with the comfort she desired long into the night. An old flute was brought out and Bob entertained her with his playing and singing. Tellia showed Bob her own "special flute playing" skill as well and they had a very merry time. The next morning as the sun rose so did Bobs little buddy so he provided more comfort to his host until sometime later a shout was heard outside.

Hello came a voice. Is this the spring of the lady of the pools? I am Sir Jeepea, emissary of the free peoples of the realms beyond the pass and I was sent here on a vital quest. May we speak?

Looking out a window Bob saw the strangest site he had ever seen. There stood a rabbi dressed in leather armour who was barely bigger than Bob (excluding the ears) and it was standing beside the pool looking about the place. It wore a silver tabard, boots, helm, shield, spear and sword.

Bob saw Tellia rise up from the pool and address the rabbit. Greetings noble Sir. What brings you my humble abode this beautiful morning?"

The rabbit person bowed to her, doffing his helm to her before he replied. I am Sir Jeepea, emissary of the free peoples of the realms beyond the pass. We fight an evil foe that darkens the land and I follow the omens that say that the aid we seek and are in need of is here. Fate has led me to you my lady.

"That might actually be me you seek, Bob said stepping out of the home in his leaf skirt and club.

The rabbit turned. Noble stranger two days ago all our fortune seers and mystics suddenly said a stranger would come and that he must be found to bring us victory. Might be you are the one foreseen?

Bob replied. As a wise man once said "I do not know". I am Bob the bard, companion of a heroic group of adventures. What troubles the lands that I am sought upon arrival here in this land most fair?

Sir Jeepea replied. An unknown force of evil has appeared and has quickly grown into a threat to all the free lands. What started out as minor bandits had become roving war bands that are now forming a large army filled with the greedy, the cruel, the stupid, corrupted and ravenous! Rats, weasels, and any number of peoples of low morals have flocked to the call to make war, for loot, or for fresh meat. They now form a danger the free and peaceful people can no longer ignore, but alas the seers say the two forces are of balanced strength. You may be the fulcrum point of the battle and bring the victory to end this disaster.

With a sad sigh Bob spoke. A great pity then, alas duty calls fair lady and it seems I must take my leave. Then Bob turned to Sir Jeepea. Now how far away it is, how do we get there and do you have any cloths I may borrow. My people are not nudists as our male member is naturally exposed.

Very exposed, purred the lady of the pools.

So I have noticed, Sir Jeepea replied with a cough.

I as well, Tellia dreamily added. Oh! I can help with that, said Tellia as she sank into the pond to return to her home. She soon came out of a hidden door with a trunk filled with items left behind or found over the decades. Bob found a silken white shirt with frills that was just a bit too small to fully close leaving his chest exposed, a belt, yellow and blue striped pantaloons that were also far too tight (although Tellia liked the look) and a floppy hat with feathers. The old flute was gifted to him as well.

Sir Jeepea passed Bob a dagger. I take it you know how to fight?

I have had a hand in slaying a few monsters; I prefer wielding the song or sword or cross bow if I must.

Giving a last fare well to the lady of the pools Bob and Sir Jeepea headed downstream below the pools past its basking giant frogs to where his steeds were left waiting, being two giant lizards with saddles and bridles. Taking to the saddle they proceeded across the lands encountering some giant ants and termites fighting. Their steeds allowed them to rush past most of the conflict having to strike at any that came too close. They had to stop past the far side to slay termites that had latched on to one lizard's tail as they passed by.

They next came upon a giant praying mantis waiting in ambush. Bob played the flute quietly, gradually beginning to wrap the creatures mind within the tune when another giant bug approached having unexpectedly been lured in by the music. Snapping out of its trance the mantis struck, ensnaring this new arrival before starting to devour it.

Well that works just as well Bob said. While the giant mantis was busy Bob and his Sir Jeepea passed it by and made their way to the final challenge before the low lands. A chasm split a cliff in two that they must pass through.

Sir Jeepea said that he had dashed past a badger's lair halfway down the chasm but the badger might be on alert now. They crept down the pass and peaked around the corner to see a giant badger pacing back and forth in front of a burrow.

Bob started to play a child's bedtime song that very slowly rose in volume. After a while the creature settled down at the cave entrance before eventually being lulled to sleep.

As they quietly slipping past the cave it was revealed that a pile of baby badgers were also dozing away just inside. They passed out of the chasm and descended towards the lower lands. As the sun got ready to set they entered a quaint little hamlet populated by mice, moles, small rabbits and other creatures garbed in plain cloth. They welcomed back Sir Jeepea and greeted the unfamiliar Sir Bob with open arms and they soon filled the small pub as news was exchanged. There Bob was introduced to Sir Jeepea's squire Hammy who had stayed in the hamlet to take care of Sir Jeepea's personal steed.

Then they went to a barn and inside Sir Jeepea introduced his mount "Sir" Thumpsum who served as his trusted pet battle mount, It was a horned rabbit who when compared to Bob looked as big as an elephant and almost filled the barn. Sir Jeepea explained that when riding Sir Thumpsum it allowed him to equip his bronze full plate, helm, shield and long lance. Sir Thumpsum had his own set of heavy bronze plate barding with battle boots and when fully equipped they would make an impressive looking duo.

Bob promised the villagers the return of their lizard mount as he continued to need the lizard for Bob's mount. As the night went along food and ale was partaken along with stories and music with the villagers laughing at songs like Hobbits on Your Boat. Come the morning Bob found that the village had scrounged through their few possessions and found a set of decently sized but gaudy cloths including colourful striped pantaloons in a more "proper" size, short leggings, some quickly made sandals and an old bronze short sword. Bob equipped himself using Sir Thumpsum's leather armour over his frilly shirt. Finally they people were able to direct him to a nearby holly plant and a villager's berry bush garden to replace his spell casting supplies and create good berries.

As they left Sir Jeepea commented on how they had timed the departure perfectly as dark rain clouds could be seen back where they had come from. They left the hamlet in a merry spirit completely unaware of the six adventurers now awakening to find themselves in the same forest clearing as Bob had. They too were also as naked as Bob had been but they were under a cold and steady rain.

But that is for another story "The Six Mighty Adventurer's Miserable Adventure".