Weiss Schnee sat perched on the edge of a freeway overpass, her legs swinging idly above the chaos of honking horns and rushing cars below. Her outfit was far removed from her usual pristine aesthetic—a red-and-black combat suit, complete with obnoxiously large pouches, a bright crimson scarf flapping dramatically in the wind, and snowflake patches stitched haphazardly on her sleeves. She held a notebook in her hand, scribbling furiously with the intensity of someone plotting world domination.

"Let me guess," she said suddenly, glancing up. "You're confused. Weiss Schnee? Deadpool personality? Fourth wall breaking? What is this nonsense? First of all, rude. Second of all, welcome to the most entertaining thing you'll read today."

She held up her notebook to reveal a crude stick figure with horns and a mustache. "This," she said, shaking it for emphasis, "is our bad guy. Probably. Honestly, I'm just drawing to pass the time before I make a spectacular entrance. Which is right about… now."

Without hesitation, she flipped the notebook shut, stood up, and stretched, balancing effortlessly on the ledge. "Time to show the world what true brilliance looks like. You're welcome."

With that, she let herself fall backward, arms spread wide like a swan dive. The wind rushed past her, her scarf trailing behind her like a superhero's cape. Below her, an unassuming white van barreled down the freeway, blissfully unaware of the chaos about to descend upon it.

The roof of the van shuddered under the force of Weiss's landing, a resounding clang! that made the driver swerve wildly.

"Knock, knock!" Weiss called out, crouching to peer through the sunroof. She pried it open with ease and stuck her head inside, grinning at the three burly men staring back at her in shock.

"Hi, boys!" she chirped, holding up her notebook. "Quick question: Have you seen this man?" She pointed at the stick figure with horns, giving it a little wiggle for emphasis.

"What the hell—" one of the thugs began, but Weiss didn't let him finish.

She dropped through the sunroof like a gymnast, landing with perfect precision. "Let me guess," she said, sidestepping as one of them lunged at her. "You're the strong, silent type. That's fine. I can carry this conversation."

The chaos erupted in earnest. Weiss flipped over a crate, dodging a punch and retaliating with a kick that sent one thug sprawling into a pile of stolen goods. Another thug drew a gun, but Weiss disarmed him with a flick of her rapier, Myrtenaster. The weapon clattered to the floor as Weiss twirled her blade with flair.

"Guns?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "How cliché."

The van swerved again, throwing everyone off balance. Weiss used the momentum to vault onto a stack of crates, surveying the chaos with a smirk. "Let's be honest," she said, addressing no one in particular, "this is probably the highlight of your week."

The driver yelled from the front, "What's going on back there?!"

"Just a little team-building exercise!" Weiss shouted back, ducking under a wild swing. She countered with a sweep kick, sending her attacker tumbling into the dashboard. "You're welcome!"

The fight raged on, but before long, the van hit a guardrail and tipped onto two wheels. Weiss grabbed onto a handlebar to steady herself, but the crates around her spilled everywhere, adding to the chaos. The vehicle plummeted off the overpass and crashed onto the freeway below with a bone-rattling slam.

Weiss tumbled out of the back doors, rolling to her feet with the grace of someone who had practiced dramatic landings in front of a mirror. "Still alive," she said, brushing herself off. "Ten out of ten."

Suddenly, a voice cut through the chaos.

"Weiss."

She froze, her triumphant smirk faltering.

"Weiss."

The world around her blurred, the freeway dissolving into nothingness.

"Weiss!"

The dorm room came into focus. Weiss stood frozen in a dramatic pose, her hand holding an empty soda can instead of Myrtenaster. The crumpled notebook lay at her feet. Slowly, she blinked, removing the VR headset as the sound of laughter filled the room.

Ruby was doubled over, clutching her stomach. "Oh my gosh! Weiss! That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

Blake stood off to the side, one eyebrow raised. "Is this a regular thing now?"

Yang leaned against the wall, arms crossed, a smirk playing on her lips. "Well, this explains a lot."

Weiss cleared her throat, attempting to regain her dignity. "I was… testing the software."

Ruby wiped a tear from her eye, pointing at Jaune, who was sitting on the floor, thoroughly tied up with duct tape. "Weiss… did you tie up Jaune?"

Weiss turned to Jaune, whose muffled protests became more frantic. "Oh." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Right. That."

Blake crossed her arms. "Why did you tie him up?"

Weiss shrugged. "It seemed appropriate at the time."

Ruby knelt beside Jaune, grinning from ear to ear. "Weiss! You tied up your Knight in shining armor! That's so cute!"

"It was one date!" Weiss snapped, her cheeks flushing. "And it was… wonderful."

Yang leaned forward, her smirk widening. "Ooooh, wonderful, huh? Tell me more."

"Not happening." Weiss knelt down to untie Jaune, muttering, "Sorry, Jaune. Sometimes I… get carried away."

Jaune groaned as the last of the tape came off. "Sometimes?"

Yang glanced at the VR headset, her eyes lighting up. "So, what happens if I try that thing on?"

Weiss snatched it up protectively. "Absolutely not. The world is not ready for Deadpool Yang."

Ruby flopped onto Weiss's bed, still giggling. "I've gotta admit, Weiss, that was amazing. The outfit, the jokes, the flipping around—it's like you were channeling a completely different person!"

Weiss smirked, tossing her notebook onto the table. "Well, I aim to entertain."

Yang crossed her arms. "You're sure I can't try it? Just for five minutes."

"No." Weiss held the headset behind her back. "The last thing this team needs is two of me."

Ruby sat up, grinning. "Best. Day. Ever."

Weiss rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress a small smile. "You're welcome."