Sex with Rita...didn't go so well.

I may not know much about social cues, but I could tell she was...disappointed. She didn't exactly call me a "Cold sick bastard" and to "stay away from her" but she also didn't seem too be to pleased.

What had happened? She'd always seemed happy before Lila, and shortly after our reconciliation but now...things seemed...different. Maybe it was her.

Probably it was me.

"Hey Dex. Fucking Penny for your thoughts?" Deb asked.

Deb was over for steak and beers again. She seemed to want the company after the whole Lundy debacle. I had been staring blankly at the tv for the last 20 minutes, and I may have failed to respond or even acknowledge a few of her comments. Oops.

"Um...it's nothing." Ah yes. Smooth customer Dexter. Always ready with a clever, manipulative deflection. I was a hell of a serial killer.

That was sarcasm by the way.

"Obviously something is eating your ass. Fucking talk to me." Deb asked more insistently.

"Fine well...it's just Rita..."

"Seriously? I thought you two were good! Did you really fuck it up again?" Deb asked.

"No. I don't think so it's just. Well...this is awkard to say..."

"Dexter, I've seen you about to fuck that bitch Lila. You've seen me at my most fucked up. Do we really have anything that's awkward at this point?" Deb said.

I mean, she did have a point.

"Well...sex with Rita the last few times it...hasn't gone well." I said.

Debra blinked.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"No fuckin way. Let me guess. Stuck it in the wrong hole? Premature Ejaculation. Yikes, don't tell me it was ED." Deb said, grinning widely.

"You're enjoying this." I said.

"My perfect brother exposes a chink in the armor? No shit Sherlock, of course I'm enjoying it." Deb said.

"It wasn't...anything like that. It just...felt different. Less passionate somehow. I dunno maybe since things have...settled back in a little we've entered a slump." I said.

"Wow Dex. That's actually really fucking sad. Rita's fucking gorgoues and perfect for you. What the fuck's going on?" Deb asked.

I felt...off. For some reason I preferred being around Deb to Rita. Honestly, as much as I cared for Rita, I always felt that way. Maybe because of history. Maybe because despite all the grief she gave me, I still felt more comfortable around her than anyone else. She, more than anyone else, felt safe. This warm feeling...it drew me to her and I didn't know why.

Why did I sometimes...feel certain things around Deb? Why did I have such odd dreams about her? Why did a few minutes of her teasing fire me up in ways Rita could never quite match.

Damn, this feelings stuff was awful and complicated. Sometimes I wished that door had never been opened. I never had to deal with this before.

(Or had I? Maybe I had them all along and Harry just couldn't see it. I couldn't see it.)

"Well..I can help out." Deb said, in a quiet voice, attempting to sound casual.

"W-what?" I asked blankly. I was...very confused.

"I can help. You can always have me tap in and you know...do your job for you." Deb said. She had a (delicious) smile on her face.

"What." I said. Completely void of any rational thought. Deb was speaking a foreign language now.

"I mean Rita has a fantastic body. Pretty face. Incredible tits. I can...do the job." Deb said.

"What." I said. The world had stopped making sense. My sister was possibly possessed or been swapped out for a malfunctioning clone.

"Jesus Dex, is tnat all you can say? Did I break you?" Deb said.

"Y-you want to sleep with Rita?" I asked.

"Sure. Why not? She's sexy and I'm always looking to help out my bro." Deb said.

"...How would that even work?" I asked.

"Shit. I dunno, we play it by ear I guess." Deb said.

"But you... you're not a lesbian. Right?" I was straining to understand. All of this had come out of nowhere.

"Right. Experimentation in college notwithstanding...and maybe a bit in high school." Debra said.

I blink. Did she tell me about that? I could faintly remember some midnight conversations about sexuality. Yes...this all did sound familiar. Memories flood back.

"Right experimentation. I remember. I understand...I think. So you..."

"Like men. And women." Deb said with that wonderful smile on her face.

A great silence passed.

"...Um." I said.

"Yeah um? Are you gonna say something dumbass?" Debra said.

"...Um congrats? On um...being open minded?" I said. Human social protocols were beyond me. What did Deb want me to say?

"How about I love you sis. I accept your bisexuality or whatever. You know brotherly stuff." Deb said.

I was taken aback. Not accepting Deb for something as innocent as sexual orientation never even crossed my mind.

"You think I wouldn't love you because you like girls?" I asked. She looked at me with an odd expression. Sympathy maybe? Like I was a wounded animal. Did I look wounded?

"Shit no. You can be a real dumbass at the whole social thing, but your not that stupid or hateful. I just thought you know, maybe something a bit more then a "congrats for being open minded" ya know? I mean what the hell was that?" Deb said.

"I dunno. I'm not too good with surprises." I said.

"Oh yeah. Fuck, sorry, probably not your day then." She said. She didn't look sorry. She was glowing.

"Nope. Not my day." I smiled too. Not forced. Deb always was the one to extract the most of those from me. For some unknowable reason.

"So what do you think? Deb asked.

"About?"

"My propasal dumbass. " Deb said.

"I mean...honestly I wouldn't...mind but I dunno do you think Rita would..." I asked.

"Oh yeah. Definitly." Deb said.

"Really? How?" I asked.

"The signals she was putting out when I set her up on a date with you. I think she was a bit disappointed that I recomended my brother instead of asking her out my fucking self." Deb said.

A new, strange and alien dynamic had entered my world. Rita flirting with Deb.

Straight men's normal fixation on lesbians wasn't my typical preference but...suddenly I...understood the appeal.

I gulp.

"Interesting." I said. I felt a strange excitement. Arousal mixed with...anticipation. It was almost like the Need when "Tonight" was finally "the night".

"Wow. That's one hell of a creepy fuck expression on your face. Are you fuckin turned on right now?" Deb asked.

"...Um." I said. I was taken off guard. Was I supposed to say yes now? What would a normal brother say about his sister asking to fuck his girlfriend?

Somehow I don't think normal brothers had this problem.

"Um? Fucking um? That's a goddamn yes then. Christ, you do have a kinky side. Guess I should have figured after the whole fuckin Lila thing." Deb said. She was still grinning which was always a good sign. Well, not for my pride maybe, but an older brother has to condition himself to withstand his younger sister's teasing. Particularly when that sister was Debra Morgan.

Still even I knew this was all...very strange.

"So tell Rita I'm um... available. For a fill in." Deb said.

"She won't be...offended?" I asked.

"Great social awareness from the tin man. Proud of you Dex." Deb said.

"Thanks." I said dryly.

"She fucking might. So you've got to approach this delicately. Not fumbling and Aspergian like usual." Deb said.

"Delicate. Got it."

"Consider her feelings. Don't make her insecure. Let her know you want her to be...satisfied and you might not always be...what she needs."

"Consider her feelings. Got it."

"And Dex?"

"Yep."

"Don't fuck it up."

"Don't fuck it up. Got it."

She left. I was...very aroused and mildly horrified and quite confused.

What the hell had I gotten myself into?