These are canyonlands. Herds once lived here. Nearby, there are abattoirs; alas, they haven't wailed in a while. These lands might not be hell...but they're on a pathway, both figurative and less so, to multiple hells.

This is a gateway. It's the main entrance into a ranch...or whatever it is now. Above the posts, there's an ornamental arch. It's got words woven into it: "CADILLAC RANCH."

Within the gateway, there are cattle skeletons. They lie here and there throughout the ranch's canyonlands. The ranchers, it seems, haven't been around to protect them from the local pests. The pests here, though, aren't often local...

Among these skeletons, one is of a late toxodon; a large ungulate fossil. Another skeleton is of a stegotetrabelodon; an elephantine fossil. Another skeleton is that of a bluebuck, an antelope fossil. Another skeleton is that of an elephant bird; a ratite fossil. (A ratite is a large flightless bird.) This ranch might very well have been some sort of a monster one...if it wasn't a monster academy. Hence, it seems almost a shame that company's coming, later today; they'd fit right in around here, otherwise...

Atop a mesa, a strange sight sits. It looks like a flying saucer...and probably is. It's grounded. Its crew is nowhere to be seen...if it even had a crew. If not, it might be run by an AI...in which case it would still be very functional...

Among the canyons' mesas, a military caravan is in-motion. Their jeeps are black, and built for speed...although at present, they go slowly. Some of them have little metal jack-o-lantern sculptures for hood ornaments. Most of them have stainless steel trim.

Many of the jeeps fly the same flag. It's of the Dreadpool Corps, a multiversal army of antiheroic mercs who wear a Dreadpool suit as their combat uniform. Their relatively benevolent counterpart, for those who might wonder, is Deadpool...who all of the Dreadpools within the Dreadpool Corps despise.

Personal interview sequence:

This is Peter Quill, the half-spartaxian Dreadpool from a reality, within the Marvel multiverse, in which Quill, as a youth, was kidnapped by the shi'ar, rather than the badoon. One of the aliens who raised him was a Moord mutant. (The Moord are like the Inhumans, only badoon.) And, as it is with anyone else from another reality, that's simply where the deviance in his biography begins. (And clearly, he became Dreadpool somewhere along the way.)

Quill sits in the backseat of one of the jeeps, facing the fourth wall. His mask is off. He holds up his middle finger before the fourth wall, and studies it...

"Psst," the fourth wall whispers. "Hey! You're on!"

"Oh! Right!" Quill puts his equipment away and commences the sequence. "We're the Dreadpool Corps," he speaks. "We're bad. Very bad..." He hesitates. "We're certainly worse than Leroy Brown." He smiles. "We're badder than ole King Kong, and meaner than a junkyard dog... Speaking of whom..."

From off-fourth-wall, Quill pulls his companions, riding with him in the same seat, next to either side of him. Both wear Dreadpool suits...and hence, are both co-members of the Corps. One is a siamang (i.e. a kind of gibbon) and the other is an AmStaff (i.e. an American Staffordshire Terrier; a kind of pit bull).

Quill smiles, and gestures towards both of them. "This is the Kong, and this is the junkyard dog." He happily shrugs. "And hence, they do their own subtle part to prove my point." He surveys the siamang. "Kong was originally a gorilla, I know, but... Most gorillas in the multiverse, sadly, don't become Dreadpools...or even Deadpools, for that matter."

The dog and the siamang both curl their lips and growl, at the sound of Deadpool's name.

"Sorry guys." Quill continues the sequence. "There are some baboons," he arches his brows, "in the multiverse who've become Dreadpools. One of them is in the Corps. His name is Igor. He was one of Red Ghost's Super-Apes..." He arches his brows again. "He's actually driving this very jeep, right now." He turns past the fourth wall. "Hey Igor! What to say hi to the..."

One growl from Igor, off-screen, and Quill is silenced. "Ooh," Quill shudders, "never mind." He re-acknowledges the fourth wall. "Pardon the driver's temper. He's just tried to audition for a part in some desert-themed movie. And he just found out, like, five minutes ago that they already gave the part to some sapient gelada." He looks around. "I think the part might've been for the Queen of Sheba in some documentary about King Solomon, but I'm not sure..." He thinks... "Oh yeah, now I remember! Igor tried to audition for the part of Nefertiti, the queen consort of the famous Egyptian pharaoh Rama-Tut!" He snickers. "Obviously, though, between you and me," he pseudo-whispers, "I think he would've stood a bigger chance with Alyssa Milano's bra size!"

Igor deliberately almost wrecks the jeep in rage, causing Quill to swear. He roars very loudly, after having done so. Behind the jeep, the other jeeps in the caravan honk their horns in rage/confusion.

"Fine, fine, fine," Quill shouts. "I'll stop talking about the audition! Geez... Where's the sense of humor in this Band of Bros?"

To either side of Quill, the siamang and the AmStaff both give Quill a quizzical look...

He sighs. "Fine; I get it. We're villains. We don't get where we get by having senses of humor...I don't suppose."

Through the gateway (the one with the ornamental arch), the caravan proceeds. (Not to worry; it's a cattle guard, and not an actual gate. Otherwise, this'd be a lot harder...)