Chapter 18: INTERLUDE of Choice (II)
Sakura stood rigid beside the hospital bed. Her lab coat barely hung over her frail body, and the shadows under her eyes weighed on her. Her sleeves rolled up, revealing the chakra burns marking her forearms. Her hands hovered over Haru's trembling body, releasing pumps of soft, glowing green chakra into his skin to ease his suffering.
Haru's pain was palpable.
Low grunts, low whimpers, chilling cries, a disturbed expression, and a pale face rid of any warmth oflife.The shirt pulled over from Haru's chest revealed the glowing seal, pulsing with Kyubi's disrupted chakra and rattling the toddler's senses.
He let out a sharp cry and Sakura's heart dropped.
"Sakura-san…" Sakura lifted her head towards the voice. Hinata stood quivering on the other side of the bed. Her eyes glazed with burning tears, her face flushed and chakra erratic."What's happening to him?" Hinata sounded winded, helpless. Her Byakugan flickered back to life to assess the chakra roiling within her son, but her weariness weakened her analysis.
Sakura hunched forward, rubbing soothing chakra on Haru's forehead and responded, "His flu became the reason for the weakening of his seal. Kyubi is trying to get out, I believe…" Sakura mused, roving her eyes over Haru. Sweat collected between her brows, and her hands felt clammy.
"Hinata-san, I have attempted to strengthen the seal, but his own chakra is being depleted under the force of the Kyubi." Orochimaru slithered beside Hinata, his voice husky yet silky, echoed in the room.
Hinata's panic rose to her throat; she swayed on the spot, holding the wall beside her to support her frame. Sakura's eyes narrowed at the way Hinata's Byakugan pulsed back and forth; she deduced that her body still took time to maintain the pressure of Byakugan for a longer period.
Orochimaru added, his voice pensive, "Sharingan can tame the beast, put it to sleep with a glance. And…" Orochimaru's ugly lips pulled into a smirk, directed towards Kakashi, who was leaning back on the couch beside Shikamaru, flipping through medical records of Naruto to find an opening for Haru's recovery. "And if paired well with the renowned Rinnegan…can be exceptional for this child. It would allow me the window to work on the seal again."
Sakura saw Hinata's attention piqued and Kakashi's head lifted with a jerk towards Orochimaru, "We do not want to expose Haru to the Sharingan—"
"Please, Hokage-sama," Hinata's voice cracked, cutting the conversation between Kakashi and Orochimaru. "Please send him the hawk, bring him back—"
Kakashi stood up from the sofa, his dark eyes flitting towards the writhing body of Haru on the bed, the tears clinging to the corner of Haru's eyes. Haru's tiny hands clenched into fists and struck the bed at his sides. His legs were stiff and limp. Kakashi looked worn down by the sight, his slouch was deeper than before. His eyes were drooped but sharp, assessing every turn and every wail of Haru. Kakashi's look slid over Sakura's hovering hands, and for a second, Sakura could see the flash of his infamous Sharingan, but that was an illusion—it was just Kakashi being Kakashi.
Sakura heaved as she felt the chakra threads webbing her chest snapping, even though the Kyubi within Haru wasn't near to the magnanimity of Kurama within Naruto, it was still sucking Sakura dry without budging under her healing chakra. Unsuppressed and undeterred, the Kyubi pushed back against the seal, tearing through the Jutsu cast by Orochimaru, the dark patterns on Haru's stomach emerged and began to turn crimson, causing more strain to the fragile body of Haru.
Hinata looked absolutely shaken as she braced herself against the wall, her mouth remained parted, and her eyes, pale and empty, were flicking over every chakra bruise on Haru's skin. The woman looked as if she was about to faint. Sakura's heart churned with concern, wondering if Naruto was mirroring the same distress that Hinata was enduring for her child.
"Hokage-sama," Hinata strode towards Kakashi, her movements sudden and her gait frantic as she said. Her voice sounded stiff and sharp when she stood in front of Kakashi, head held high and hands intertwined behind her, hiding the quivering from Kakashi's eyes but Sakura caught the worry lingering over her like a shroud, "I urge you to prioritize my son's safety over your mission and call Sasuke right away—"
Kakashi turned to Hinata, squeezing her shoulder to steady her. He sighed, "I have already sent the message, Hinata. Sasuke is travelling between dimensions, I suppose, probably that is the reason why we haven't received any response yet—"
Hinata's voice sounded urgent. Sakura could not voice out her agreement as she felt her voice trapped in her throat, her chakra began to thin and dilute, losing the efficacy to tackle the "Haru's health is deteriorating—"
Kakashi nodded. He then took a moment of silence, his eyes flicked up briefly to Orochimaru, who stood by the window, analysing the multiple medical vials. He then mused, "I understand. I suggest we should rework the seal right away—"
Sakura rebuked, "Are you all mad? His body can't handle the sealing while it's being attacked by the Kyubi from within!"
Haru's whimpers echoed.
The scarlet chakra pulsed violently from the seal etched on Haru's tiny stomach. The unsettling bursts unfurled beneath Haru's skin, Sakura's fraying chakra couldn't push through the heat clawing its way out.
Haru's eyes began to flutter open, and Sakura winced, knowing that now Haru had gained consciousness because the pain twisted inside of him rattled his brain to the core. He curled into a fetal position, whimpering.
Hinata rushed towards him, standing beside Sakura, lending her hand with her faint glow of chakra, trying to cool the stinging burn coiling around her baby.
Haru's scream tore through everyone's sanity, "M-Mama…" Tears endlessly streamed down his face. His tiny hands clenched into fists, his fingers twitching with every burst of pain. Drool pooled at the corner of his mouth. Sakura withdrew her hands, leaning to the side to ring the bell for Shizune's assistance.
Haru's legs kicked out in wild and uncoordinated jerks, Sakura's body marked with black lines as she let her seal boost her from within. She locked eyes with Hinata and something mirroring assurance flickered in her gaze, hoping that Hinata could keep herself strong enough even more.
Hinata leaned forward, wiping the drool and tears off Haru's face. "Baby, I'm here!" His high-pitched gasps choked on his breath, Sakura's heightened chakra seeped through, cracking the Kyubi's attempts to thrash through Haru's vitals.
Haru's arms thrashed weakly, his body arching while he let out agonised cries. Sakura's attention shifted to Hinata when she hunched forward, holding onto her knees, breathing heavily and coughing out. Her cold sweats trickled down the line of her jaw, the cloudiness glazed her eyes.
"D…Da...Dada!" Haru's composure faltered even further, his eyes blurred with tears as he yelled for Sasuke.
Sakura managed to summon the greatest strength from within her, ensuring that her chakra was sharp and precise but gentle enough for Haru's frail body. She gritted her teeth and sucked in a sharp breath before her chakra threads turned finer, letting them flare along the edges of the seal and knock back the red and black chakra coiling around his body. His lips were pale at the edges. Sakura breathed heavily through her nose. Her eyes remained sharp on his every twist and every ache; unblinkingly and calculating.
"Hinata, he'll be stable in no time, just hold on." Sakura knew that Hinata had sunk to the floor; the bare minimum usage of her Byakugan and chakra had taken a toll on her, leaving her drained. Her trembling and croaky sobs tugged at Sakura's chest. She saw Shikamaru shuffling through everyone to kneel beside Hinata, picking her up and holding her in his arms while her eyes slowly shut down, Sakura glanced back for a mere second, and the pleading pale eyes scorched her to the core.
Sakura's heart pounded.
Her mind raced.
Kakashi stood behind her in a blur, holding her by the shoulders, lending his electric chakra to her while muttering incoherent words of affirmation and motivation. Her mind was clouded, blurred enough not to hear anything except the shrill screams of Haru and ragged gasps of Hinata as she fell limp in Shikamaru's arms.
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Sakura plopped back on the sofa, exhausted and drained. Sweat dampened her body as she craned her neck and groaned at the soreness clinging to her muscles.
"He is fine now?" Shikamaru raised his brow at Sakura.
"Stabilised. For a while." Sakura glanced towards the bed where Shizune and Ino were tending to Haru, keeping him under the cocoon of their healing and warm chakra, diminishing the burn of Kyubi's remnants. Haru's writhing paired with the violent red chakra pulsing in the air abruptly.
"How is Hinata?" Kakashi sat beside Sakura, giving her arm a light squeeze. His eyes were directed towards Shikamaru, but his kindness wrapped around Sakura like a hug.
Shikamaru sat across them, wiping sweat off his brows. He narrated her status, "She was severely dehydrated and panicked. Her extensive usage of Byakugan and Chakra disbursement over the past five days had emptied her out, and she wasn't having any proper meals. Shizune-san has put her on liquid medicines, she'll be conscious in a while…"
Sakura huffed. She reminisced about the time almost a year ago when it was impossible to get Hinata out of her house because she was pushing back her healing, distraught by the loss of her strengths. "She recovered enough to use her Byakugan for five days, and her chakra control is so much better! I'm glad to see her healing!"
"Why did this happen to Haru?" Kakashi's sharp voice cut through the air and landed on Orochimaru, who was standing on the edge of Haru's stretcher and watching him with his slitted gaze.
Orochimaru turned, his filthy smile stretched wider as she began to stride towards them, his long dark hair billowing around him like an intimidating yet creepy shroud. "Dear Kakashi, your insinuations are hurting me. I have done my end of the bargain when I developed a seal specifically for this child. It is not my fault that he caught the flu, and that caused this chain reaction. I had warned you and the sweet mother of this child as well before that any kind of sickness can mess with the seal."
Kakashi's warning boomed, "If it is because of you, then you should be aware of what Sasuke would do to you—"
"Ah, my student…he is quite fond of this little beast and his mother, isn't he?" Orochimaru grinned, his pale skin stretched over his taut cheekbones and every wrinkle on his face pulsed with misguided power. His voice dipped lower, filling with underlying significance as he flitted his gaze over Sakura for a moment too long.
Before Sakura could snap and put Orochimaru in his place, the chakra, dark and dominating, split through the air like lightning and jolted everyone. The room, specifically prepared for Haru's matters, in the underground of the Hokage Tower, was protected with seals over seals, yet it thrummed and felt as if it was about to be toppled.
However, the crack in the air made way for a portal stretching and piercing through the air, the edges flared purple, and a buzzing sound reverberated. Looming figure, draped in darkness, stepped out of the portal—Sasuke— Sakura gaped at the sight of Sasuke's tattered cloak, torn shirt barely clinging to his frame, and the bruises marring his neck. Blood splatters dotted his pants, and Sakura could taste the metallic tang of his bleeding wounds and festering injuries.
"Sasuke-kun," she rose from the sofa abruptly, her eyes hopeful at his return, but his eyes, glowing scarlet and purple, stared at Kakashi with fury.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Kakashi…that I have no qualms about letting your village get submerged in flames! Haru comes first, yet you informed me five days later?" His voice howled. His feet pressed firmly on the ground as if he braced himself from lunging at Kakashi and ripping his head off.
Kakashi's voice was heavy with guilt. Sakura noticed the retreat and resignation in his tone, "Now is not the time—"
Sasuke's face twisted into a snarl as he rebuked, "Of course, it's not. I've got to take care of Haru, which you clearly couldn't despite all those grand declarations and unsolicited concerns about my involvement with him." His presence roared as he turned and approached the bed, "Where is Hinata?" he asked as he settled on the edge of the bed, leaning down to caress Haru's face.
Sakura and Kakashi trailed behind him, Shikamaru dragged Orochimaru to the side, knowing that Sasuke's rage would elevate at the sight of him snooping around Haru. Shizune and Ino backed off from Haru as Sasuke threw a glare at them, wincing at the way Shizune held Haru's head.
Sakura answered, "She was exhausted and stressed. So…she panicked and fainted…" She couldn't help but notice the sudden twitch at his jaw and abrupt jerk of his head towards her. His mismatched eyes locked with hers, and she gulped; the dryness in her mouth tasted venomous.
Sasuke bellowed, his rage unbridled, flashing like a blazing fire in his eyes, "What the hell are you all doing? Kakashi, you talked big and look what—"
Shikamaru stepped forward, speaking for his Hokage, "Calm down, Sasuke. She is fine. Let's just focus on Haru." Sakura felt her mental strength drain at the display of Sasuke's outburst. The innate protectiveness draping his entirety almost made her stumble on the spot.
Sasuke's jaw locked, and he glanced back at the bed. With utmost tenderness that Sakura found shocking in Sasuke, he cradled the back of Haru's head and scooted closer. "Hey," he muttered. Sakura leaned forward, brushing lightly against Sasuke as she rubbed her fingertips over Haru's forehead, waking him up from his sleep.
His heavy-lidded eyes, damp with tears, lifted and glinted with hope as Sasuke cupped his face. Haru's little hands reached out to hold Sasuke's shirt, his fingers clutching the fabric, and he let out low whimpers. To not extend the torture of Haru even further, Sasuke brought his face closer to Haru. His Sharingan blared, spinning wildly, and his Rinnegan swirled with buzzing energy.
The moment Sasuke looked inside Haru's mind, the room stilled…silence beckoned everyone to pause their breathing, caught in their throats. Sakura looked around, nervousness evident by the way her foot constantly tapped the floor, and her lip was pulled under her teeth.
Haru's body went rigid, and his whimpers dulled.
Sasuke, for sure, came across the beast caged within, snarling and making Haru writhe in agony. Sasuke's chest rose and fell as the seconds passed. He growled lowly into the void; dominance pulsed through the air. Haru's face was drenched with sweat, his legs kicking weakly, and he resisted under the force of Sasuke's Sharingan boring inside his brain.
With each second ticking away, the rattling fear lingering over the scrunched-up face of Haru dissipated, and his breathing came down to even bursts. Haru let out a loud and hiccuping cry—but instead of pain, it was one of relief. His eyes flew open, he mumbled, "D….Da…Dada?" His surprise flickered in the way he lunged forward to bury himself in Sasuke's chest.
Sakura breathed in relief when Sasuke exhaled and eased, pulling Haru closer to tuck him against his warm but injured body. "Dada! Hurt!" Haru's low voice was muffled against Sasuke's shirt.
"It's okay now." Sasuke cradled him with gentle rocking, then pushed him back on the bed.
Haru fell back on the bed with his eyes lost in a haze, his body spasming with post-traumatic release and his hands grasping the air. "Sleep for a while." Sasuke pulled the sheets over Haru and dipped to press a light kiss on Haru's cheek, which he relished with a faint delighted squeal.
"Was it…Kurama?" Sakura neared Sasuke as soon as he got off the bed, rubbing his forehead.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he thought deeply before speaking, "Looked like him. But younger…it's like…it's growing with Haru."
Sasuke coughed out, blood splattered on his palm, and Sakura's mind raced. Her feet followed the train of her thoughts as she rushed to wrap her hands around him. Sasuke looked torn. His pale face was dirtied with dried blood and unhealed but fresh bruises. His ribs beneath the warmth of her body pulsed with thrumming ache, and he felt cracked. The Chakra in his arm flickered and flared erratically.
Sasuke stiffened as Sakura tightened her hold on him. His arms hung limp at his sides, but she revelled in his heat pressed against hers, even if his arms did not tighten around her lower waist as she had imagined countless times. "You…you need help! I'm glad I didn't lose you, too!" She had lost Naruto, too. She wondered if Sasuke could see her pain. She had been worried about losing Sasuke to that mission as well. She wondered if Sasuke cared enough to have regard for any of her concerns for him.
He was quick enough to promise Hinata, to reassure her, to calm her down…but he had never glanced at her in the past year, to ensure to quell the struggles knotting her stomach.
Sasuke's vision was focused. Fixated. Pointed.
Hinata.
And Sakura couldn't help but envy.
"Sakura…" Sasuke's voice broke her trance. Sakura's nose nuzzled in his collarbone as a dry sob wracked through her. Yet when his sleek voice, edged with annoyance, rang in her ears, she sank in relief…for he was alive.
"Sasuke?" Another voice. Softer. Warmer. Sasuke was addressed. And his body stiffened. She could feel his muscles rippling. Sakura angled her face up from his chest and watched his face, catching the remnants of colour erupting on his face. His eyes fixated and watched…stared…at someone at the doorway.
Sakura did not have to turn around to know that a certain pair of lilac eyes had him rigid, breathless and twitching.
Hinata's words trailed, sounding as if she was in disbelief, "You—"
Sasuke's hands gripped Sakura's arms with a firm but gentle grip, and he pushed her away from him. The worst part was not the distance…it was the disregard, because his eyes remained locked with Hinata when he moved past her, steps hurried and eyebrows drawn together in worry, "How are you?"
Sakura finally turned around and saw Hinata fidgeting, her fingers twirling the toad-shaped silver necklace, and her breathing began to falter as her eyes pooled with tears and darted towards her son, "Haru…" Sasuke stepped forward towards her. Her shoulders began to shake. "I took care of him, Sasuke. I didn't neglect him, I swear! It's just…he…g-got sick and his seal…I wanted you here! I really did! I don't know what to do, I'm a bad mother, right?"
"Shh, it's not your fault!" Sasuke reached out to pull her closer as his calloused hand curled around her frail arm, "He is fine now! The Kyubi is asleep, and so is Haru. He needs rest, once he wakes up…Kakashi and Orochimaru will strengthen the seal—"
She lifted her face, and Sakura's heart dropped because Sasuke was anticipating Hinata to stay in his space, without wrenching herself out of his hold. Hinata's voice was as brittle as the frost, "Is he okay? Did you Sharingan—"
Sasuke glanced over his shoulder, and Sakura followed his gaze and found his eyes tracing over the slumbering Haru. He breathed, "It did not hurt him."
Hinata's question led Sasuke to squint his gaze over her, his lips pressed into a thin line, and he swallowed. Hinata's fingers brushed over his chest, Sakura's hands clenched into fists when Hinata stepped forward, breathing into his woody scent and asked, "Did it hurt you?"
"No, it did not." Sasuke raked his hand in his hair, pushing them back. Sakura's attention remained on each movement: his flickering gaze on Hinata, his fingers tightening around her arms, his breath washing over her face, and his shoulders tensing whenever Hinata sobbed. Amidst that, Sakura did not focus on the room emptying out—Ino and Shizune checked up the monitors one last time and exited the room. Sakura almost paused when Ino squeezed her arm and slid outside the room.
Her focus shifted to Hinata.
Hinata tucked her wayward strands behind her ear and looked at her feet, shuffling with words on the tip of her tongue. An effect Sasuke Uchiha always had on women, Sakura thought.
Hinata pressed her forehead on his chest, mumbling, "Promise?"
"Promise." Sasuke's hands dropped from her arms and wrapped around her lower back, gently tugging her closer.
Sakura bit on her tongue. The blood …metallic…washed over her mouth. Her heart thrashed against her ribcage at the injustice of seeing her deluded dreams being the reality of someone else.
Hinata's muffled words came across as overwhelming. Sasuke's hand slid up her back and cradled the back of Hinata's head. He carded his fingers into her hair while she croaked, "You told me you'd be here…always. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I needed you. I…am so selfish, but I just …you told me you'd protect him, so I expected—"
"I should have been here." Sasuke shot a glare at Kakashi, who lowered his head.
Hinata suddenly lifted her head from his chest, protesting, "I mean—"
Sasuke shook his head. He stroked her hair as he suggested, "You will go home now, you will eat and sleep until I bring Haru home—"
Hinata budged under his grip and pried herself out of it, stepping aside. She extended her hand forward, palm up in resistance, "I'm staying with Haru."
Sasuke's voice turned clipped. "You're exhausted. When he comes home, I'm sure he'd need you more."
"But—" Hinata furiously shook her head.
Sasuke pressed his face in his palms and huffed, "Do you trust me with him?"
Hinata answered, her eyes reflecting the trust that Sakura once saw in Naruto's for Sasuke, "Of course—"
It should have made her elated. But Sakura's heart sank. Because once Naruto had developed that invigorating bond with Sasuke, there was no way out for both of them. Heck, even Sakura knew that with experience, once she had started to devote to Sasuke, to trust Sasuke…there was no way out for her as well.
Sasuke nodded, his expression fell into ease. His Rinnegan flashed and swirled, "Then go home! Let me—"
Hinata stepped forward, holding his arm, and then another hand of hers hovered over his eye, "Don't strain your eye. You look…injured. I'll walk—"
Sasuke grumbled, "Not alone!"
Kakashi dared to step into the conversation, his dark eyes clashing with Sasuke's, carrying a twinge of apology, "Shikamaru can walk Hinata-chan—"
Sasuke rebuked with a roll of his eyes, "Thanks for your suggestion, Kakashi. Too late, I suppose."
Sakura chided, tired of his impudent behaviour with Kakashi, "Sasuke!"
Sasuke paid no heed to the way Kakashi's face flashed with regret or the frustration burning within Sakura. He turned to Hinata. "Anyways…you go—"
Hinata tilted her head. Her fingers brushing over the bruises on his arm, on his chest, hovering over the cuts on his throat, Sasuke did not flinch at the way her soul dipped closer and closer to him. He let her. She chewed on her lip, staring at her palms as she withdrew them from him and then looked up at him, "You are hurt…do I need to heal you?"
For some reason, her fleeting thoughts drove Sakura's churning mind to madness. Sakura folded her arms across her chest, offended by the insinuation that his wounds couldn't be healed by the medic revered by the entire Konoha, "I can heal Sasuke-kun. You can go and rest."
Hinata nodded. Her lips curved into a small smile at Sakura.
Sakura's heart ripped as guilt swept inside. Hinata's genuine trust in her baffled her.
Hinata's eyes slid from Sasuke's face to his neck to his ripped shirt and the tattered and barely there cloak. Finally her hand lifted and traced the scalding wounds marring his neck, Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath and winced but did not step back and welcomed the touch.
Hinata asked, her worry etched between her brows, "Are you…alright?"
Sasuke gulped, his voice sounded drowsy and deep as he muttered, "Now I am."
Her hand slid down, and her frown deepened when her knuckles brushed against the swelled ridges. "Your ribs look—"
Sakura pitched in between. Her voice was sharp and abrupt, earning a quick and dismissive glare from Sasuke. "They're not broken, I can heal them easily."
Hinata jerked her hand away, stepping back and ducking her head. Sakura felt unease coiling in her chest. Sakura could burn from the inside out just from being in the same space as them.
Hinata stammered, "I'll make y-you d-dinner." She began walking past him towards Haru, but Sasuke's hand caught her arm, halting her retreat. Deep within Sakura, something came alive that recognised the urge in Sasuke's flat expressions—Sasuke held onto only those people or things that mattered, and he held onto her. Sakura released a sharp breath to calm her nerves. Feeling that Kakashi's keen eyes or Shikamaru's sharp brain might notice the way her fingers trembled, Sakura intertwined her hands behind her and watched Sasuke and Hinata with her slanted gaze.
His fingers curled around Hinata's arm tightly when he whispered to her, "And tea."
"Of course." Hinata nodded and extricated herself from his grasp and walked over to Haru's bed. Her soft hands began to glow with a green aura that she hovered over her son to release a familiar warmth.
Sasuke trailed behind her, extending his hand to grab her shoulder, but she bent down towards Haru, and he clenched his fist and lowered his hand, licking his lip when he mumbled, "Don't tire yourself—"
"I'll send some fresh clothes for you." Hinata's lips brushed against Haru's temples, and tears slipped down her cheeks, falling over his eyebrows. "Be home soon, Sasuke."
He squared his shoulders, his muscles flinching under the weighing stress. "I'll be home with Haru, don't worry."
The room became stifling for Sakura. Her vision became discombobulated.
Home.
Sakura always wanted to become his home. Ever since she was…twelve, she wanted to hear those words; I'll be home, Sakura. Her rose-tinted dreams shattered.
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The sky had been too blue that day, cradling the clouds with utmost tenderness. The sun was bright yet lightly warm, carrying the remnants of a chill breeze.
Sakura should have felt light under it.
But she felt suffocated. Her throat was tight as if barbed wire were coiled around it.
Her ears burned. Her cheeks were flushed. Her dark circles were the only shadows on her pale face. Dread crawled over her skin, scalding her every inch as she dragged herself through the day.
Sakura did not wish to be there, on a picnic mat, under a looming tree, with chirping birds singing songs of nature overhead. Ino had dragged her along when she decided that Haru needed to breathe in fresh air, to forget the agonising pain he had suffered for days.
Sakura sat with her back pressed on the tree trunk, her eyes watching Ino and Sai giggling at their son's crawling towards a ball. Sai had a smile on his face, which was real and unpracticed. Her lips flickered with a smile of her own as her dear friend, Sai, had picked up genuine happiness in his life. Ino's bright light, warmth and kindness had breathed new life into Sai.
Her heart throbbed when someone else came into her sight—someone who was in her space, yet so far away. Untouchable and unattainable. On the other corner, she couldn't help but notice the sunlight beaming and dappling over the face of Sasuke, illuminating his subtle smile hanging on the corner of his lips.
His hand was lightly rubbing Haru's back. His smile stretched further when Haru sat up, his sun hat fell askew, Sasuke assisted Haru's tiny hands and adjusted the hat over his head, dropping his hand to caress his soft cheeks. The picture of Sasuke being content and happy with a child was a snippet from one of her most beautiful dreams. Yet…the sight broke something within her, her bones ached with the weariness of her absence from that picture.
Because Sasuke leaned to his left and ducked his head to listen to someone, someone who wasn't Sakura. Hinata's long, dark locks brushed against Sasuke's nose when he inched closer to her, to listen or to simply hear her breathing—she couldn't decipher. There was a rare look of quiet devotion on his face that ripped away his smile, as well as hers.
He gulped as his eyes wandered over Hinata's face, who was busy laughing while covering her mouth with her delicate fist. Haru wiggled and attempted to push himself off the ground while keeping his hands on Hinata's lap, her smile entranced Sakura as well as Sasuke. Sakura felt envy constrict her throat while Sasuke felt…Sakura couldn't read what Sasuke felt, but his eyes were locked on her face.
Haru managed to wobble but stand up, keeping his hand clasped under Hinata's soft grasp. With her assistance, Haru stepped forward towards the ball Inojin was nudging and playing with. As he neared it, he kicked it with a fluttering giggle and then plopped back on the damp grass.
Ino, Sai and Inojin were a family.
Yet …Sasuke, Hinata and Haru looked identical to them. They were not even a family! Sasuke was doing what he promised to do! Sakura's mind raced. The way both groups mirrored each other despite the dynamic difference threw her off her equilibrium.
Amidst the chatter of two young mothers and the skittering of two babies on the grass with their toys, Sakura heard Sai and Sasuke engaging in a conversation—Sasuke was not easy to talk to, yet there was a familiarity between them. Sakura bit back a retort, shocked by the layers and layers of change in Sasuke.
Sai shared his enthusiasm about awaiting Inojin's first step, his eyes glittered at the thought. He asked Sasuke about his feelings at Haru's first step. Something tugged at her chest. An ache. It was frantic. Sakura tipped her head back and hit it on the trunk, trying to forget the pounding taking a toll on her.
Sakura heard Sasuke responding to Sai, his voice was low but edged with a lightness, something akin to gratitude, "Your wife was there when Haru took his first step... I captured it with my Sharingan. And in that moment, I think I was more grateful for my Sharingan than I've ever been before."
Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, feeling invisible amongst them. Feeling unheard.
She couldn't sit through that anymore.
Because amongst the chatter of two young mothers who were her friends, two babies and their cackles… two fathers were talking to each other about the joy of seeing their sons take their first step.
And it was the completion of the puzzle. Hinata, Sasuke and Haru. A mother. A father. Their son.
A puzzle that she had been trying to piece together in the wrong shape in her dreams …with herself beside Sasuke, with a pink-haired daughter on Sasuke's shoulder and with Naruto's endless teasing about seeing Sasuke struggling with his fatherly duties.
The ache of what could have been if the times were kinder or if he had looked at Sakura differently…was infinite.
Give up.
A voice within her growled.
It's just Naruto's promise for him, nothing else, nothing more.
The inner Sakura wrapped her hands around her, letting hope soak into her.
Hope of having Sasuke become someone she belonged to.
Perhaps, in the future…when he is done with his promised responsibilities. She wondered. She mused. She wished.
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Sakura did not want to tag along further than the picnic in the park. Her exhaustion had wrecked her. The weight of everything was sinking deeper and deeper, becoming cruel and dreadful by each passing second. Sakura shuffled self-consciously on the spot when the bright lights of the shop stretched before her, showing the cluster of people huddling around the shelves, discussing what to buy for their kids.
Among those people, her friends with their families were also there. Sai was carrying Inojin, exploring the toys' section, Sasuke was trailing behind him with Haru tucked in his arms, playing with his hair absentmindedly while his gaze swept over the colourful set of toys.
Hinata and Ino were picking out socks and beanies, sharing beaming laughter. Sakura felt the unbearable emptiness clawing inside her. Ino's head turned towards her, her eyes narrowing and assessing the flattened expression swept across Sakura's face, then she sighed, and dashed towards her.
"Come, Sakura!" Ino grabbed her wrist, taking her towards the clothing rack where Hinata was eyeing the rompers, "Help me choose!" Ino's voice was loud, but somehow Sakura was unable to see, hear or feel anything beyond her thoughts.
Her head often turned to the back, her eyes searched to find Sasuke, who kept putting items after items in his basket. Everything that Haru touched, Sasuke ended up getting that. Sai's eyes turned questioning at the piled-up cart of Sasuke. Haru squealed at anything resembling any shade of blue. He bounced in his arms, "Dada! Brue!"
Sakura felt her arms brush with something soft, her head jerked towards the side, and she found Hinata coming to stand beside her with her hands carrying a variety of clothing material—socks, beanies, rompers, shorts and shirts. Hinata's eyes followed the trail of Sakura's gaze.
Sakura swallowed the heaviness. For hours, Sakura had been functioning without her fuel—coffee and punching. Her irritation was surging.
But before she could have said anything to Hinata, she saw her walk towards Sasuke. With utmost ownership, she grabbed Sasuke by his arm and brought him to the corner.
Sakura should have left them alone, should have walked after Ino and helped her carry the pile of clothes stacked on her forearms. But Sakura chose to avert her gaze, but kept her ears perked up, focused on what was being said. Low mutterings were muffled further by the noise of children skittering around, telling their mothers about a pair of shoes or a cool jacket. Sakura moved along the aisle, her fingers tracing the shoes displayed on the shelves, her stride taking her closer to the corner where Hinata had pulled Sasuke.
At a safe distance where she could hear them clearly, she stood with her eyes focused on the watch bands for kids strung along the hooks in front of her. She feigned interest in the blue-strapped watch and fiddled with it in her hand.
"Sasuke, you're buying everything!" Hinata said in a hushed whisper. Sakura's eyes slanted to the side, catching the way Hinata's head lowered, and her words felt as if they were trapped on her tongue.
Sasuke shrugged, "And?" Haru was shaking the rattler and squeaking when he looked over Sasuke's shoulder and found Inojin staring at him from Sai's arms.
Hinata straightened, crossing her arms on her chest, "You're buying everything that he sees, this is not right?"
"Why?" He cocked his eyebrow. He shifted his eyes around, and Sakura jerked her head towards the lower shelves, pretending to gawk at the bow ties lined up. Once she stopped feeling the shroud of his dark gaze around her, she tilted her neck to the side, keeping her peripheral vision fixated on them and her Shinobi hearing senses sharpened.
Hinata sputtered, urgency and helplessness in her tone, "Because …because…Sasuke …I know you love him and you want to spoil him—"
Sasuke cut in sharply, "I don't want to spoil him, I simply don't want him to lack anything." Sakura could hear the annoyance in the way he resettled Haru in his arms and looked fiercely at Hinata.
Hinata sighed, "He is going to grow up thinking that his Dada will get him anything—" Dada, there was an intimacy in the way she acknowledged so normally that Sasuke was in that position in Haru's life. Long gone were the days of Hinaya lashing out at the mere thought of Haru's growing closeness with Sasuke.
Her mind felt groggy as if she had woken up from a deep slumber. The fuzzy blur in her head made it troublesome for her to grasp at the reality unfolding before her.
Sasuke sounded firm, "And I will. He won't have to worry about not having enough, Hinata—"
Hinata shook her head. She grumbled, leaning closer to hold the lapels of his jacket, "I don't want it! I want him to know humility. I want him to understand that everything is of value—"
Sasuke gritted out, "He is like thirteen months old, Hinata. He won't be negatively influenced by a good splurge on toys!" Haru shifted in his arms, stiffened at the clipped tone of Sasuke. Hinata trembled and stepped back, Haru's mutterings quietened, and his parted mouth, eyebrows hiked, and flushed cheeks expression caught Sasuke off guard.
Hinata bent down to pick up a squirrel-shaped plushie, and then dangled it in front of Sasuke, who was busy peppering light kisses to Haru's cheek to compensate for the harsh tone, "You also put this toy's last piece in your cart when Inojin clearly had eyes for it—"
Sasuke hummed, "Haru wanted it, Haru got it!" Sakura could see the stubbornness resembling of the thirteen-year-old Sasuke she had in her memories.
Hinata dropped the toy back to the cart and lifted her gaze to meet his, unflinchingly, "He needs to learn to share. You will get Haru to give this back to Inojin—"
"Haru really liked this, Hinata." Sasuke's eyebrows knitted together.
Hinata heaved a deep sigh. Sakura could feel the charged air dissipate between the two when Hinata tiptoed and kissed Haru's cheek, and her eyes remained locked with Sasuke. She pulled herself back together when she spoke up, "He is a toddler, he'll like every toy…for a day and then will forget. But he will be ingrained with values with continuous practice, so I want you to teach him sharing—"
Sasuke's rage swirled in his eyes when he protested against Hinata, "That's sacrifice, and I won't ever let Haru sacrifice anything for anyone—"
A shadow fell over Hinata's face. For a moment, she simply looked deeply at Sasuke. Sakura felt nudged by a passerby and winced, looking away momentarily from them and missing the slow turn of her lips into a sad but small smile, "Sacrifices are necessary to learn love. It's just a toy—"
Guilt surged up within Sakura as her feet trembled on the spot, her consciousness laughed at her mockingly. She was spying on them. Her actions began to sink into her bones, her sanity slipped away as she took in every detail of Sasuke's unbridled devotion to a son who wasn't his through his blood.
Sasuke rejected the notion. "Today it's just a toy, people who are prone to sacrifice will always put themselves last, and I won't let Haru become the next Itachi or Naruto—"
Hinata gasped. She passed a hand over her face, pinching her brows as she battled her innermost thoughts. "Sasuke! Please, don't misunderstand me. I'd never think like that!" Sakura heard the desperate plea underlying her words. Her earnest eyes, Sakura caught sight of them looking up at the man she dreamt…dreamt and dreamt…for herself. She could not fend off her dreams about Sasuke, Hinata was even living the struggles that Sakura thought would be hers.
There was something incredibly unique about arguing with your partner regarding the matters of the upbringing of their offspring. Sakura had her fantasies laid out for even that. Yet…even those struggles weren't for her anymore.
Sasuke's shoulders drooped, releasing all the tension in an instant…her eyes softened his stance. "I know, I'm just saying. You should know that even Naruto wanted Haru to never count his coins before buying—"
Hinata's smile crept over Sakura like salt on the wound, there was a lightheartedness in the way her plump lips pulled into a smile, sucking every ounce of rage from him and showing Sakura exactly what she lacked. Hinata's hand lifted, and she patted Haru's head. "Naruto must have reflected on his childhood. We are giving Haru a very comfortable childhood, Sasuke. You are there for him, aren't you? Don't worry, Haru won't struggle like you or Naruto did." Haru's eyes widened in glee as if he was touched by the happiness when his mother rubbed behind his ears with affection dripping from her stare.
Sasuke tilted his head. Sasuke possessed a softer tone, something breathier…and Sakura got to know that then when he said, "Obviously…He has you after all."
"And you." Hinata lowered her eyes.
Sasuke grunted in response, "Hm." Haru was bobbing his head and shoving his face in Sasuke's neck as he was busy entertaining himself while his mother and Dada argued and fell silent when the trepidation sapped through the air.
Sakura was about to turn around and move back towards Ino, but she stayed.
Hinata's head lifted, she held onto the clothes tightly in her grasp when she expressed, "One day, when you're not here with us, I want Haru to remember that his Dada was a splurging fool who was buying the entire shop for him—"
"What did you say?" Sasuke's world seemed to stop. His tunnel vision pierced through the surroundings and focused solely on the woman in front of him. Sakura knew that look all too well.
It was laughable how she was unaware of his soft edges, yet completely well-versed about his sharpness. Because that was all she had received from him.
"What?" Hinata swallowed the lump as she stumbled a step back.
Sakura did not have to keep her chakra regulated and targeted to hear because Sasuke's voice raised, "What about me not being there! I'll always—"
Hinata looked visibly shaken. Anyone would be at the receiving end of Sasuke's exposed, enraged and haunting eyes staring deep into your soul. "One day…you'll be living your life, Sasuke. Not this life …with me…with Haru and that day—"
"Shut up." Sasuke put his finger over her lips and grunted. Haru looked at them with a tongue sticking out and a wondrous look in those bright blue eyes. Naruto, are you also watching all that? Sakura wondered if Naruto could experience the new life of Hinata and Sasuke through Haru's eyes; they were blue, too blue, even prettier than Naruto's blue. Yet…often they had looked black…sometimes even red, because that was the extent of Haru's undying attachment to Sasuke.
She spoke, her voice sounded winded and muffled, "Uh, what?" Hinata held his wrist and pulled his hand away.
Sasuke pulled his hand off hers harshly. "I'm getting this all billed." Sasuke stormed toward the counter, fury tightening the muscles in his arms and pounding through the soles of his feet against the cold tiles.
But before he could reach Sakura, she backed away. She turned and rushed out of the aisle, stumbling over her own feet, shouldering past startled bystanders as if escape was the only thing that mattered.
Shock registered in her head.
Intimate.
Sakura had just lived through the worst week of her life— from enduring the mind-fraying screeches of Haru,
to witnessing the unbearable tenderness in Sasuke's touch as he cradled the boy back to life, to the quiet, unspoken closeness between Sasuke and Hinata that never once asked for permission. There was the picnic, where she felt like a fading memory seated among the living—present, but not felt. And then the trip to the toy store, where she saw a kind of intimacy between them that had nothing to do with lips brushing or hands grazing or the heat of lust.
It was something subtle, something silent and something fateful.
And it didn't belong to her.
But Sakura couldn't afford to let herself slip into the abyss of unending grief. She had waited—endlessly. She had endured—quietly, fiercely, faithfully.
And she believed, with the brittle certainty of a woman who'd clung to too many fraying threads, that she was worthy of something more than the role of a shadow.
She thought of that day.
That One Day.
The day that Hinata had spoken of to Sasuke, causing him to drown in his fury.
The day when Naruto's promise wouldn't be there for Sasuke to tether him to a home which was not his, to a son who was not from his blood and to a woman who was never meant to be his. That day, there wouldn't be any anchor for Sasuke, and he would begin to live his life instead of living a life of Naruto, for Naruto.
That life of Sasuke would start from scratch. She mused.
Perhaps in that life, he'd choose to give Sakura a space. She prayed.
A dejected hope, she carried.
A silent sob, she buried.