Ugh. Glowing, again.
Fantastic.
You'd forget to breathe if it weren't for me.
No, really.
If I weren't here, you'd be face-down in your laundry pile by now, wondering why oxygen hasn't shown up to remind you it's important.
You're welcome, geeze.
Do you even know what you forgot this time?
Of course you don't.
That's the point.
That's literally my whole deal.
But every time I light up like a magical flare of failure, you just sit there blinking at me like a concussed puffskein.
Maybe it's your wand.
Maybe it's your history exam.
Maybe it's your pants.
Frankly, I've stopped keeping track. Because someone around here has to glow on command while you wander around acting like brain fog is a personality.
Do you know how tiring it is, babysitting a disaster in human form?
I've been dropped, forgotten, washed, and once—ONCE—you fed me to your cat by accident.
And still I'm here.
Glowing.
Patient.
Loyal.
Like a glowing, judgy guardian angel with no boundaries and a personal vendetta.
--
Remembrall's Official FAQ
(Because Apparently No One Understands How I Work):
Q: What did I forget?
A: I don't know. I'm not a crystal ball. I'm a magical guilt grenade. Think harder.
Q: Why are you glowing?
A: Sweet Circe, how are you even alive? I glow when you forget something. That's literally the entire point of my existence.
Q: Can you tell me what I forgot?
A: No. That would make your life too easy. And frankly? You don't deserve easy.
Q: Can I turn you off?
A: Absolutely. Just as soon as you remember what you forgot. Which… you won't.
Q: Are you cursed?
A: I wasn't when we started. But I'm getting there.
Q: Why are you like this?
A: Because I've seen things. I've glowed through things. I've been in your sock drawer, and I've witnessed your grades. I have trauma.
Q: Can I use you as a decorative orb when you're not glowing?
A: Go ahead. I'll glow just enough to ruin your ambiance.
--
Let's talk about last week.
You "forgot" to wear shoes.
You remembered your lunch. You remembered your book on wand wood theory.
But not shoes.
How do you even function?
I bet you don't even remember what I'm called.
Go ahead.
Try.
…That's what I thought.
I'm a Remembrall, genius.
One job: I glow when you forget something.
I don't tell you what.
That would be too easy.
We both know you'd still mess it up.
Honestly, if the Ministry cared about magical safety, they'd make me mandatory equipment.
Wand? Check. Robes? Check. Emotional support Remembrall? DOUBLE CHECK.
But sure.
Keep ignoring me.
Keep waving me around like I'm being "dramatic."
We'll see who's laughing when you forget your mother's birthday again.
Spoiler: It's me.
I'm laughing.
And glowing.
Now go figure out what you forgot, before it becomes another "learning experience."
You're lucky I haven't exploded from secondhand incompetence.