Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), self-harm, & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 91: Pierce

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Naruto blinked and the room suddenly came back in full focus. The rough floorboards beneath him, the smell of earth and dust that permeated the cabin walls, and the man who had gotten far too close. Itachi was still lying beside him, still had his hand on his cheek so he'd have no choice but to face him- so he wouldn't be able to escape his gaze.

And he still had that same smile that Naruto had seen in the Mangekyou. One that made his skin crawl and his stomach plummet.

Itachi never looked at me like that.

Naruto stiffened.

This isn't him.

He felt a shiver run along his spine, echoing through his core, down his arms, and only then did he remember the porcelain shard grasped in his hand, the one he kept hidden beneath his pillow. He tried to pull his arm free from it, but Itachi's hand was still locked around his wrist- pinning him to the floor. Naruto jerked against the restraint, but Itachi just born down harder.

"Nnhhn" he groaned, "dammit, l-let go!"

"Isn't this better?" Itachi breathed, blatantly ignoring his every protest, leaning closer with every word. "Wouldn't you rather do this for real?"

"I-"

Naruto wanted to scream every vile curse he could think of, to berate the raven until he was blue in the face, but there was no point. He was never going to break away from him like this, and his pleading was never going to get him to stop. But that didn't mean he didn't stand a chance. He still had a weapon.. of sorts. All he needed now was a way to access it.

Naruto did have an idea for that; he was just reluctant to use it. For one, it sickened him to his core to put on any kind of act with Itachi- especially one that the delusional Uchiha would enjoy. And two, it could very well blow up in his face. But honestly, what other choice did he have? He needed a weapon far more than he needed anything else, especially when considering the alternative.

This is the only way.

Before he could act on it, however, another thought came to mind- one that brought heat to his face and made his stomach curdle with shame. But Naruto couldn't let that stop him either. Not now. Not when Itachi was like this.

Sasuke will understand.

I know he will.

Resigning himself to the task at hand, Naruto smoothed his brow, swallowed his pride, and slowly lifted his eyes to find Itachi's.

"I want to touch you" he breathed, hoping it sounded at least somewhat believable.

Itachi paused, and Naruto could see that he was considering taking the bait.

"Yeah?"

He said it back almost.. gently, like he was afraid the wrong octave might shatter this careful moment between them. It did little to settle Naruto's anxiety. In fact, it may have made it worse.

Naruto licked his lips nervously as he forced himself to lean in. His own eyes flickered between Itachi's before dropping down to rest on his mouth. "Will you… let me?"

Itachi's smile widened, instantly making Naruto second-guess everything he was doing. "Do you even have to ask?"

Naruto forced himself closer, but he clearly wasn't moving fast enough for Itachi. Too impatient to wait for Naruto to find his nerve, Itachi leaned in to capture his mouth first. He dragged his tongue across Naruto's lips, eager for a taste, and when he hesitantly opened up for him Itachi thrust his way deep inside for more. Naruto flinched, but Itachi read it as anticipation and was quick to disregard it. His grip on the blonde tightened and he eagerly rolled on top of him.

Naruto forced himself to lean into it, hoping to convince Itachi that he was just as overcome by passion as he was. That the arm he was trying to wrench free was one he wanted to wrap around his captor.

That he should let him.

But Itachi just wouldn't relinquish his hold. He liked pinning Naruto down, feeling him squirm and struggle beneath him. It was going to take a lot more to change that.

Naruto reached up with his free hand and grabbed the back of Itachi's head, sinking his fingers in his hair. He inwardly cringed as Itachi moaned into their kiss and tried not to shudder as he yanked him closer.

Just do whatever it takes to distract him, he reminded himself.

Whatever it takes.

Naruto lifted his hips, arching into his touch, and Itachi finally released his arm. His hands roamed over his body as Naruto's hand clenched tight around the porcelain shard beneath him. He could feel its sharp edge bite through his bandage, feel the stitches in his hand tearing at the seam, but none of that mattered. Not if it meant he could end all of this once and for all.

Naruto never wanted to hurt Itachi. He really did care about him, despite everything he'd put him through, but this wasn't the Itachi he knew. The one who somehow managed to get under his skin, who made him question his feelings constantly. The man who had reclaimed his humanity, even after some of his most inhumane moments.

No, that man was gone.

And the heartless bastard wearing his face is next.

Naruto wrenched his face away just as he tore his arm free. Itachi lifted his head to look at him, giving Naruto the perfect opening. Without warning the blonde threw his arm up and stabbed the porcelain shard deep into Itachi's right eye.

Itachi jerked back, anticipating excruciating pain, but when the initial shock wore off he realized that he felt nothing. He fingered the jagged piece of porcelain embedded deep inside of his face, trying to make sense of it when it finally clicked.

The coffee cup.

He used a piece of that damn cup he broke earlier.

Itachi reached up and tore the makeshift weapon out of his face, shredding his eye in the process. He could feel the mangled mess hanging limply in its socket, could see the shock and horror in the blonde's face as he stared at it.

Itachi clenched his jaw hard as he tossed the makeshift weapon to the side. He used what was left of his eyes to glare down at the blonde lying beneath him, noting the fear it induced and not in the least bit apologetic for it.

"Nice try" he growled.

Itachi went to lower himself on top of his blonde once more when a fist suddenly collided with his face, violently forcing his head to the side. Again it didn't hurt, but combined with his disfigured eye it was enough of a distraction for the blonde to do what he had intended to all along.

Naruto shoved Itachi back and threw himself to the side, clearing some distance between them. He quickly scrambled to his feet and before Itachi could stop him, bolted out of the room.

The raven glared after him, frustrated by the useless game his blonde insisted on playing. He sighed and rose to his feet. "That isn't going to work, Naruto."

As he stepped across the floorboards Itachi heard a door slam, a lock click, and instantly knew where his blonde had taken off to.

There was only one room that had a lock on it, after all.

--

Naruto darted into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him. He clicked over the lock fast, knowing full well it wouldn't keep Itachi out for long. But at least it gave him a few spare seconds to gather his thoughts and figure out his next move.

Naruto spun around, his frantic blues darting all over the small room, searching for anything he could use as a weapon.

Come on, come on!

I just need something sharp.

He could hear Itachi closing in and his panic skyrocketed. Wide eyes shot around the room again, desperate to find something he could use to protect himself.

Please, PLEASE! What the hell can I-

Something slammed against the door, shaking it on its hinges and startling the hell out of the blonde behind it.

"Come on out, Naruto" Itachi called. "It's about time we finish what we started."

Naruto took a shaky step back as he glanced around one more time, but there was nothing here. His eyes lifted to his equally terrified reflection, and suddenly it hit him.

The mirror.

Without a second thought Naruto pulled his arm back and punched the mirror as hard as he could. Fractured glass fell to the floor, splintering the fearful face inside, fragmenting even more as it hit the ruthless tiles below. Naruto hurriedly dropped down to grab the largest piece, hoping it'd be enough.

It has to be.

As his bandaged fist closed around the edge of a promising shard, the door shrieked and splintered behind him. Naruto spun around and shot to his feet just as the door smashed open and his last barrier came crashing in. His fist tightened around the glass, letting it pierce his already bloodied palm, as Itachi's defaced corpse stepped inside to join him.

The raven eyed the stubborn blonde for a moment before shifting his gaze to the bits of glass scattered across the floor, the blood steadily falling from Naruto's hand.

"You've made quite a mess, Naruto." He purred his name, unabashed longing tangled in every syllable.

Naruto flinched. "St-stay back."

Itachi ignored his request and took another step towards him. "Let's go back to the bedroom."

Naruto threw his hand out, wielding the glass like a translucent dagger. He gave the raven a pained look.

"Itachi, pl-please" he choked, "if you're in there.. I need your help."

Itachi studied him, and for a moment Naruto thought he'd gotten through to him, that he was himself again. But he instantly knew better when he saw Itachi's dark gaze fall to the chakra collar around the base of his throat, and the small length of chain still bound to it.

"Maybe I should tie you down to the bed again" he said wistfully, desire flashing in his remaining eye. He licked his lifeless lips. "You seemed to like it last time."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, his resolve.

"I can't let you do that."

Never again.

Naruto eyed the glass in his hand, his only hope to stop it from happening, and suddenly everything clicked. He had been looking at this all wrong. While the jagged shard was definitely sharp enough to be used as a weapon, it was never going to work on Itachi.

Because it isn't meant for him.

Naruto jerked his arm back and pressed the serrated edge of the glass against his own throat instead, just above the collar that was siphoning off his chakra. The same collar that would stop Kurama from healing him. From stopping him.

It's meant for me.

Itachi's step faltered, a hint of humanity flickering inside that hollow shell.

"Naruto…? What are you doing?"

Naruto swallowed hard. He looked at what remained of Itachi's mangled eye, at the desire that still flashed in the other, and knew he had no other choice. The vessel Kabuto created didn't feel pain, didn't have a conscience, and now it didn't even have the real Itachi in it. Nothing Naruto did was ever going to change any of that.

This was the only way.

Naruto pressed the razor-sharp edge closer, piercing through the skin. A trickle of blood slipped down his neck, a chilling sensation. He shivered, and Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"You won't."

He took another step closer, and Naruto's panic surged.

"One more fucking step and I will end this!"

Itachi paused again, but he still had that same determined look in his eye. He had no intention of stopping. Naruto was only dragging out the inevitable.

I don't have a choice.

He gave the raven a final despairing look, wishing the Itachi he knew was the one looking back at him. Knowing it wasn't.

It's ok, Naruto told himself, doing his best to believe it, it's better this way.

He took a calming breath and let his mind clear of everything- everything, that is, except for one final thought.. one final person. The man he's always kept in his head, in his heart.

Even when he didn't want him there.

Sasuke.. I'm sorry.

He gave a small sad smile, one Sasuke would never get to see. Just as he would never know that Naruto's final words were the ones he should have told him years ago. When they had finally reclaimed their lives, when he found him after three long years apart, or maybe before all of it. Maybe he should have just said it when he first felt it, when he first meant it.

Back when Sasuke held him close and told him first.

I love you.

Itachi still doubted him, so he didn't move fast enough, which was exactly what Naruto was counting on. He gave the raven one last spiteful look, then closed his eyes and shoved the edge in deeper.

"STOP!"

As Naruto tore that piece of broken glass across his own throat, a scream shot through his entire being- the raw, gut-wrenching cry of someone in insurmountable agony. Naruto's brows furrowed as blood poured out of his open throat, his confusion pulling him away from his own pain. Because that voice he kept hearing wasn't his, and it wasn't Itachi's.

It was Sasuke's.

Author Note:

The end draws near.

And now the real question is whether I will choose to leave you lovelies with more pain, sudden pleasure, or a combination of the two.

I suppose only time will tell…

Another Note:

bonniekey08: I absolutely love reading your comments, and I loved the last one you left. It is allllll about the evil spice for me, and it looks like I might not be the only one. So glad you liked that last chapter & I hope you're still enjoying the story. Much love, reader~