Sarek watched as his emotions transferred to Amanda and bled out through her tears; each droplet a display of frustration; each strangled sob a reminder of the lonely ache he felt but could never publicly display. His legs felt non-existent beneath him as he followed her. He did not have time to register the reason behind the peculiar sensation. He staggered across the short distance, through the doors and out onto the balcony. He noted that the cool evening air felt good against his heated skin, but he got very little chance to catalogue any other biometric data. She pulled him into an alien embrace and he could do nothing but hold her.

Though their palms were no longer touching, Sarek could feel ripples of intense empathy pulsing through him, threatening to erode the mental wall he had worked all his life to maintain. His heart thundered in his lower abdomen, and it took all of his strength to hold back his own urge to cry. Logic. He panted hard, lungs burning, throat constricting, as he tried to claw his way back to his bedrock, but logic evaded him.

Something was wrong. He did not know what. The behavior he was displaying was not normative. His control was gone. The edges of the world were softer than usual. His heightened senses were dulled. Thoughts slipped through his mind like sand granules blowing in a breeze; loose, formless, and fleeting. Without logic to ground him, he was flailing to find an anchor. He had not just deviated from Surak's path; he had lost sight of the Vulcan way altogether.

Sarek's ability to focus was limited. Uncertainty threatened to crush him from the inside out. Illogical. His breaths, refusing to slow, continued to escape his lips in an uncharacteristically erratic manner. He homed in on the one thing he could be certain of; Amanda. Her smaller body was pressed flush against his, and he instinctively leaned closer to her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Such an act was deeply intimate, but she did not move away; so he remained in that position. Her grip tightened around his waist. He exerted more pressure in return, though not too much. Humans were fragile and he did not want to hurt her in his emotionally compromised state. He had already almost hit her; he did not want to place her in further harm.

Sarek inhaled unsteadily and caught a whiff of her unique scent. He was surprised to find that it was not as foreign as he might have expected. Many of his people complained about the way humans smelled, but he was not repulsed. In fact, it had quite the opposite effect on him. The sweet, citrusy fragrance reminded him of the kaasa found on Vulcan. He closed his eyes, inhaled again, and visualized the familiar blue-green fruit. This worked as an effective grounding tool. Earlier, the topic of 'home-sickness' had arisen, and he had hidden behind Vulcan rhetoric, claiming that he could not and did not feel such a yearning for his home world; but the emotion was now pulling at his insides in a way he could not deny.

Amanda became his point of reference; everything converged around her; holding her helped him make sense out of chaos and brought meaning to the disorganization taking place in his mind. Logic may have deserted him when he most needed it, but she had not. Her presence was a constant, and though Vulcan was far behind him, the closer he held her, the more she began to feel like home. He belonged in her arms. She belonged in his. His panic and self-doubt were replaced by balance and reason, and his rapid breaths began to even out. He could sense Amanda's own struggle to regain control, so he projected strong waves of calm, until gradually he felt the tension leave her body and the sound of her sobs stilled.

She shifted and he mirrored her movements, gingerly pulling away. He concentrated on appearing as undemonstrative as possible and was pleased when the muscles in his face complied. One lapse in judgement was an accident. A second lapse was unthinkable. He would not allow any further emotional displays. He planned on returning to his baseline state, but Amanda's appearance made it difficult to lock away his feelings completely. Her eyes were inflamed and her cheeks were damp. It hurt him to see her in such a way. He wanted nothing more than to reassure her.

Wanting to avoid making further skin-to-skin contact, Sarek tucked his hand into his sleeve, and raised the material to her face. He silently wiped away the tear tracks; a gesture which seemed to elicit a positive response. She smiled, and through her compassion, he saw immense and overwhelming beauty.

"Hayal." She said, and although she spoke with an unmistakable accent, the use of his native language helped induce further calm within him.

"Lesek." He thanked her.

After he dried Amanda's tears, he should have stepped away. Releasing her from his embrace was the logical thing to do. However, despite his recovering emotional state, logic was still a very far away concept, swimming in the back of his mind, and it did not seem nearly as important as it had done when he first arrived on Earth. He simply did not want to let her go.

He lowered his arm and wrapped it around her waist. The concept of hugging was foreign to him. On Vulcan, touching was only permitted between family members and bond mates, and even so, he had never been permitted such an opportunity. Even T'Rea refused to take him in her arms. Thoughts of his ex-wife caused his stomach to churn. The sting of her rejection was still fresh. Whilst he respected her decision to purge all emotion and reside in P'Jem, he was now mateless, bondless, and vulnerable in a way only Vulcans would be able to understand. At least, that is what he had assumed, but Amanda, who was everything a Vulcan could not be, seemed to understand him, and whereas his people would shun him for such vulnerability, she saw through his weakness, and demonstrated a rare level of acceptance. He wished to remain entwined with her, to savor her companionship, as he knew that when he stepped away, he would be alone again. That was an unacceptable concept. He clung to her, signaling to her that he was not ready for the moment to cease. Amanda sighed and rested her head against his chest, seemingly content to remain as they were.

Sarek may have found satisfaction, too, had his body not chosen that precise moment to betray him. His stomach lurched. This time the twisted knot in his torso had nothing to do with T'Rea. Vulcans were rarely sick, so his sudden digestive distress was unexpected, and he naturally assumed it would pass, but it did not. The sensation grew steadily worse, and with each careen of his gut, a wave of nausea crashed through him. He tried to push his queasiness away, but physical sensations were infinitely harder to suppress than emotional ones, and in the end, he found that he could not prevent the inevitable.

Sarek rigidly removed himself from Amanda. Her face contorted with confusion, but there was no time to give a verbal warning. He staggered over to the edge of the balcony, gripped the railing, and began to retch.

"Sarek!" Amanda cried out in alarm and rushed over to him.

He felt her concerned touch, but he couldn't turn to speak to her as he was in the midst of an inconvenient biological malfunction. His vomit tasted sweet, he noted, with gross fascination. He had not eaten in several days, which was not unusual for him. He often fasted before diplomatic events. However, this meant that the content of his stomach was only liquid. The Earth drinks had been pleasurable to consume, but he found them far less appetizing to regurgitate.

Amanda rubbed circles against his back. The soothing motion cut through his discomfort but did very little to stop his body's disloyalty. She told him that he would be OK, but he did not share her optimism. He could not remember the last time he had been so ill. Every time he thought it was over, another tide of sickness overtook him. He had thought that getting 'brain freeze' was an intolerable phenomenon, but what was happening to him now was significantly worse. He tried to suppress the illogical urge to groan, but a few guttural sounds slipped out anyway.

By the time the nausea dissipated, Sarek's throat was burning and the muscles in his arms were shaking from holding onto the rails with such force. However, vomiting had brought him some relief, and whilst the fog surrounding his thoughts was still present, he was able to think with more clarity.

"Got it all out of your system?" she asked, the movement of her hand slowing.

Sarek nodded slowly, not wanting to trigger a repeat incident.

"Okay," she said softly. "Do you think you can turn around?"

He inclined his head and slowly rotated around, so that his back was against the railing. And there she was; Amanda; her compassion and concern openly on display; all that emotion just for him.

"You really should see a doctor, Sarek."

Sarek's lips tightened. He did not want his reputation as Ambassador to be marred by his current weakened state. If he were to consent to a medical examination, and word got out about him falling ill, so shortly after arriving on Earth, there was a high possibility he would be replaced by someone deemed more suitable for the role. Such a failure would bring great dishonor to his Ma'at. His Sa'mekh'al had been Ambassador; his A'nirih had been Ambassador; and now, the duty and honor fell to him. This was his path. He could not stray from it.

"Is it logical to deny illness?" Amanda asked bluntly. "Don't let pride get in the way of asking for help."

Sarek blinked, astounded by the use of her sound logic. His pride morphed into shame and his gaze dropped to the ground.

"No. It is not logical."

"Then you'll get looked at?"

He nodded in consent. "I will choose my own physician."

"That's understandable. Do you want me to contact them for you?"

"Contact my assistant, Sakkath. He will know what to do."

"Sakkath." She noted out loud. "Alright. Got it. But first, let's get you cleaned up."

She rifled through her shoulder bag, pulled out a tissue, and began dabbing the excess fluid around his mouth and chin. She was careful not to make contact with his skin directly, which he was thankful for. He did not believe he could handle any further emotional transference.

He'd expected her to be disgusted, but she showed no such expression. She was not as clinical as a Vulcan, yet she was practical, thorough, and logical. Sarek had not expected to meet a human with such qualities, and yet here she was, selflessly attending to his needs. He did not know what he had done to deserve such tenderness, and he wondered what the acceptable response to her treatment was.

"There." She finished cleaning his face and tucked the dirty tissue inside a clean one, to be disposed of later. "Does that feel better?"

"Affirmative." He confirmed. He felt moderately less unhygienic, although the inside of his mouth contained an unappealing aftertaste that he desperately wished to wash away at the first opportunity.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"Uncertain. I would need to test that hypothesis."

"You could hold onto my arm for support?" Amanda suggested.

"If someone were to see us…"

"Which would you prefer; to be seen associating with me? Or to potentially fall on your ass in front of Starfleet's finest?"

"Amanda," Sarek admonished, though what he was feeling resembled embarrassment. Her statement, whilst vulgar, was accurate. He did not believe himself capable of walking without assistance.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, but from what I just witnessed, your body isn't playing ball."

"That is accurate. I do not have a spherical object."

Amanda rolled her eyes. From his studies of human behavior, he knew this to be a sign of frustration and exasperation. He was, as the Earth expression goes, 'getting under her skin', and that secretly pleased him.

"I didn't mean a physical ball, Sarek."

"I understood the gist of your metaphor." He confessed, humor shining in his eyes. "Apparently humans are just as easy to tease as Vulcans are."

She laughed. The sound was much more pleasant to listen to than her sobs. He took a mental note of the melody woven within her laughter, so that he could return to it and replay it at a later point, should he wish, which he suspected he would.

"I'll get you for that."

"There is no need to get what one already has."

Amanda's face morphed into something unreadable. "We'll talk about this later."

"Later has multiple definitions." He pointed out. "Define later."

"Let's just focus on getting you better."
She held out her arm, and his resolve crumbled. He accepted her offer of physical support.

"And once I am deemed medically fit?" he asked.

"Then we will talk," she spoke, "if you still want to."

"I do not understand."

Amanda sighed and gently patted his arm. "I don't think you're quite yourself tonight, Ambassador."

"Who am I, if not myself?" Sarek queried, confused by Amanda's sudden use of his formal title. Why had she ceased calling him Sarek? He was sure her doing so held significance, but he could not understand what it was.

"I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer that."

Should he also revert to the previous title he'd assigned her? Perhaps it was part of a human female ritual. He did not want to cause any more offense than he had already done so. He decided to match her change in formality.

"Very well. Miss Grayson, please proceed to assist me."

He attempted to walk, but his feet were still not receiving accurate signals. This caused him to sway and he almost dragged Amanda to the floor.

"Easy." She managed to right herself and he readjusted his grip on her arm. "Let's take baby steps or we're never going to make it out in one piece."

"I am not an infant," he protested.

"You could have fooled me," she muttered, low enough that he suspected she didn't mean for him to hear, but not so low that his superior hearing didn't pick it up.

He chose not to argue. This evening had turned into nothing short of a diplomatic and personal disaster, and he did not want to risk losing Miss Grayson's good willed nature on top of all the other incidents that had occurred.

She must have noticed his silence, because she turned toward him with a soft expression. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired. Tonight's events were unexpected."

"In more ways than one," he agreed.

Translations for this chapter:
kaasa - a small blue-green fruit that can be found on Vulcan
T-Rea- Sarek's first wife/ bondmate
A'nirih - father