The strain is finally catching up to Izuku.

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Chapter 86: Therapy

Hitoshi escorted Izuku inside and found the dressing room empty. There was some benefit in going last for the exam. Izuku sat down and remained there with that empty gaze until concern and other emotion began filling it. He glanced at Hitoshi's stomach which had small burn marks on the shirt before hiding his head between his hands.

"Sorry. I…"

"You were tempted to stab him," Hitoshi blurted out sitting next to Izuku and brought an arm over his shoulder.

"Yes. I still want to, but I wasn't even thinking then. I could have killed him, at least tried You should probably hate me."

"No," Hitoshi responded sharply. Izuku looked up at him questioningly. "Izuku, you looked like when you almost killed the guy who tried to stab me. I can't exactly accept that rescue and hate you for feeling the same about the person that, maybe was partially responsible for your…"

"You don't need to watch your words, not you," Izuku said looking down again. "I don't know how much longer I can keep up."

"Because you are carrying too much weight yourself. I can't change how you feel about All Might, but you also burden yourself and hide whatever is going on with Eijiro and still worry how well the rest of us do in… well everything, and I suspect that isn't all."

Hitoshi left the words hanging in the air, but did not push more. He had long since determined Izuku had far more in his mind than safety and school success of handful of friends and trauma of his mother.

"Toshi," Izuku finally said, "am I a good person?"

"Yes."

"Why, I have to fight just to keep going and not kill or betray someone."

"Because… you care enough to fight that fight and still spend all your time helping others. I'm.. not sure what you mean with betray, but could make a list of people that don't need to worry about it. Everything else you worry about, usually it is just because of people you care too much about to ever betray. We know we can count on you. That is like dictionary definition of who Izuku Midoriya is. It would take a completely different person to…"

The door to the room creaked. It wasn't immediately visible to Hitoshi and Izuku because of how the room was arranged, but they heard a heavy footstep.

"Young Shinso, young Midoriya," All Might's voice called. It only took a single world for Hitoshi to feel Izuku tensing under his arm.

"Stay," he said quietly but in a rare commanding tone, with a squeeze of Izuku's shoulder to reinforce the message before getting up. It was time to put aside his meek history and show everything he had learned from the broken boy next to him. Regardless of how easy it was to toss him around, he was good at conversational combat at least. That had to be enough.

He marched around the corner hand already up to point at All Might trying to get through the entryway that was narrower than his shoulder width.

"Out!" Hitoshi barked.

"We should…"

"He doesn't want to see you, right now even more so, can't see you," Hitoshi reached All Might and pointing turned into pushing as his hand pressed against the tall man's stomach, as useless as that was. "Things are already bad enough without you here, please."

All Might hesitated for a second but started backing off. Hitoshi followed him all the way outside and closed the door behind them.

"Young Shinso, you know I remained conscious after being hit by your quirk. I saw what happened, and how he acted before."

"The more reason for you to leave him alone, especially right now. It has been a tough day on him and that fight went even worse than I feared. "

"I don't think that is possible. His actions during our fight are already concerning, his behaviour has never been the most heroic…"

"More than anyone else I know, usually," Hitoshi shot back grateful Izuku had not heard the man's statement, "including the current company."

All Might frowned at it took him long enough to continue to avoid Hitoshi's brainwashing window.

"Young Shinso, what he almost did after you brainwashed me. It is not something I can simply ignore. It is not something he can refuse to address."

"Man you are thick," Hitoshi grumbled increasingly annoyed at the damn number one hero. Sure Izuku had already broken lot of his common naive perceptions about heroes in general and All Might specifically, but the mans insistence to force his way in to break Izuku even more was stunning. Next he even tried to walk past Hitoshi. Hitoshi sidestepped to stay in front of him, in front of the towering man that could have thrown him all the way to the next city with his pinky.

Was he feeling afraid in front of the number one hero? Izuku's feelings had really rubbed off on him. Still if there was a situation he in all his squishiness was prepared to stand against unstoppable force, it was here.

"You, cannot, go inside," Hitoshi emphasized and stood ready to activate his quirk.

All Might remained quiet long enough for that opportunity to pass and pushed forward in stern look that made Hitoshi sweat. Still his hands were squeezed into fists as laughable as that was.

"All Might," mister Aizawa called out and somehow his voice made Hitoshi feel relieved. Usually his voice felt the same as Izuku announcing extra training.

"You should leave the kids alone, both of them."

"But…" All Might glanced back where the voice was coming.

"No buts. You are already under the starting line with Midoriya, don't burry yourself any deeper."

All Might seemed hesitant, but Hitoshi never expected that to impact Aizawa.

"Nezu put me in charge of Midoriya for a reason. Keep things up and you drag all of us down with you when it comes to him. If you enter that room I will erase your quirk. Are you up to face him without your powers for once? I can allow that, but take no responsibility for the consequences for you."

Hitoshi could have sworn All Might gulped but he could understand the man's feelings. Going against Izuku without any powers was stupid at the best of times. Doing so with him as unstable as he was now, might have been literal suicide. Hitoshi really wanted to go back in.

All Might finally turned away. Hitoshi released a breath he had not realized he was holding. As the giant man stepped away he was replaced by the much more comforting, somehow, view of Mr Aizawa. Even if he was looking even sterner than usual.

"Shinso, we are going to talk now."

"Can it wait…? I need to… I don' want to leave him alone," Hitoshi said half turning towards the door.

"Leave it to them," Aizawa stepped aside to let the group behind him pass, Tenya, Shoto, Fumikage and finally Eijiro who strangely came at the back of the group rubbing his hands together nervously. He stopped next to Hitoshi.

"I'm not sure if I should…"

"Whatever happened between you two having you around is going to be better than not, I think."

"But…"

"If he doesn't want you there, you'll know. He's not very subtle about things like that."

"I guess."

"Did Rockman make Midoriya sad?" Dark Shadow popped out to ask.

"Not now," Fumikage barked.

"I am sure he is welcome too," Hitoshi added. "Don't let him ask too many questions."

He let them pass, but took then back his position firmly between the door and Mr Aizawa.

"You pulled it too hard," the man said.

"What?"

"My weapon. You got your own arm tied during the exam."

Hitoshi rested his hand on the weapon still around his neck.

"Is that really what you wanted to talk to me about."

"I took up the responsibility of teaching you, I will do it, and it isn't a good time to fail promise I made to Midoriya about it."

"That's for sure," Hitoshi muttered.

"You do understand that these… issues can't go unaddressed for much longer? Mental health of heroes is always a concern and even a medicore hero can be dangerous if they turn unstable or violent. With Midoriya… this is not prejudice about what his quirk does, but you know the kid is powerful with insane potential. Him going off the rails in the future is a real concern."

"You make it sound like he could attack anyone at random."

"And you think he can't?"

Hitoshi bit his lip but shook his head.

"I've seen him lose control. It is always defending someone or fighting opponent that took someone from him, or at least he feels so, in case of All Might. Even in his worst days I have never seen him threaten someone just randomly without reason."

"Except teammate right in the beginning of the exam."

Hitoshi frowned. He had been afraid Izuku's words could be used against him.

"Verbal threats get verbal response. He is totally able to be rude," Hitoshi said. "Can't say Ojiro has given either of us much reason to be friendly."

"I am aware and will talk with him, but a hero can look past such things, especially on the job or in an exam. Ojiro was the only one in your team who pursued proper teamwork with the whole team regardless of personal relationships. He was also the only one left behind."

"We passed though."

"You did, and Ojiro…"

…

"Wait are you saying…? You can't."

"I can. The exams were not simply about measuring if you are strong enough to defeat a teacher, putting you against All Might would not have made sense if it was. It was targeted at your weaknesses and the ability to work together, regardless of who you were teamed up with. For Midoriya those were especially related and regardless of his combat ability, he failed, badly. Remember how Ojiro had to leave you alone to get the gas mask Midoriya took with himself despite not needing it?"

Hitoshi looked back at the door. Izuku cared of them the least about the exams, but could feel wronged. Aizawa guessed his feelings.

"Our hope was that this would make him reconsider how he treats different people, especially on the job. I have to admit his mental health was not accounted for as much as we should have. I may have underestimated his situation."

"He treats people fine if they don't give reason otherwise," Hitoshi muttered, "might be a bit blunt for some people's tastes, especially since he has strong opinions."

"I have noticed," Mr Aizawa said. It was unclear whether he was annoyed or proud, likely both.

"Personally I like it." They were quiet for a moment. "So… did you want to say something else?"

"I assume you aren't going to step out of my way so I can go see Midoriya myself."

"You have to defeat and tie me up first and he won't like it if you do," Hitoshi said without hesitation.

"That's what I was afraid of. I see his overprotectiveness is contagious. Just don't you too go berserk on me."

"I'll do my best."

Aizawa sighed.

"I'll trust you to inform Midoria on the exam results when you think he is ready, preferably before I make formal announcements in class tomorrow."

Hitoshi nodded. He would not have it any other way.

"Also I expect him to see the school councilor if he wants to join you in summer camp… or become a hero. This must be addressed. We cannot send him to the field as a hero with his current mental health, especially since it doesn't seem to be improving, perhaps the opposite."

Hitoshi gulped, but couldn't honestly disagree. When he continued speaking he did so more quietly than before.

"He won't be excited about it. I have already told him he needs help, professional help, more than me or the others, but Izuku isn't the easiest to open to just anyone… I still don't think I have seen everything."

"Well then it is a good thing that being convincing is your specialty," Mr Aizawa turned around. "No weapon training today. We will catch up tomorrow."

The man's words surely would have caused shivers in most students, but Hitoshi had yet to need a doctor or quirk healer after his training sessions. It was the smallest of his concerns as he went back into the dressing room.

It was dead silent in there. Izuku was still sitting where Hitoshi had left him but was now leaning slightly to the left where Shoto was. Hitoshi could feel the air getting a bit cooler as he approached. The weather outside was warm for the season even if it hadn't been top of mind.

"He's gone," Hitoshi said and decided to do a favor to Mr Aizawa. "Mr Aizawa told him to get lost."

"Good," Izuku responded. His voice was calm and even, almost normal. Hitoshi should have been relieved, but that just meant the mask was on and Izuku had closed up again.

Hitoshi looked around. Everyone were willing to stay as long as needed but were visibly uncertain and the silence was uncomfortable. Eijiro especially seemed tense standing in view of Izuku but furthest away holding a smile on his face, a strained and at least partially fake smile. Izuku had glanced at him at least twice since Hitoshi's return. Could things between them be even worse than Hitoshi feared?

"Eijiro," Hitoshi said, "could you guard the door in case you know who tries to come back, or anyone really. No one gets past Red Riot right?"

Eijiro hesitated for a few seconds.

"Right, you can count on me."

He seemed relieved and got some of his usual energy back as he now had a mission. He headed to the door. Hitoshi sat next to Izuku opposite side from Shoto. After that, he had no idea what to say or do.

"What did Aizawa tell you?" Izuku finally asked back to business with seriousness and suspicion in his voice, and sadness.

Actually Hitoshi could see that in his eyes too as he looked at others in the room but could not read Izuku well enough to figure what he was sad about. Unfortunately he could only know what he got out of Izuku, he had never even met or talked to his father except for that one time he had made Izuku put them on the speaker phone. Hitoshi had never confessed this to Izuku, but his father's voice had given Hitoshi the creeps for some reason.

Hitoshi would still have loved to have a chat with the man. Not to figure out what was going on with Izuku, with how said father was never present he was unlikely to know even what little Hitoshi did. Hitoshi wanted to give him a piece of his mind. His concerns for Izuku and school might not have been anything like what Izuku carried, but he certainly could use letting out some steam.

Let out steam in ways that did not involve pummeling Eijiro until his hands started bleeding and Eijiro dropped his hardening, not from being strained by anything Hitoshi did. He just did not want to hurt Hitoshi anymore… by standing and doing nothing. Unfortunately even Eijiro could not just smile and fix Izuku.

Sometimes Hitoshi wished he had gotten mind reading rather than brainwashing. At least he might better understand how deep the problem went. Words could only do so much. Even when he was a child, his mother could never express her love in words anything like she did… with her touch telepathy.

Maybe he had gotten a quirk from the wrong parent. Mom could not read deeper thought but she had often talked about feeling his feelings even before he could form coherent words in his head. That could be helpful, but only if he convinced Izuku to make the transfer in the first place. He had been adamant at only giving people a single extra quirk.

"Toshi?" Izuku asked snapping Hitoshi out of it.

"Sorry," Hitoshi responded in a very Eijiroesque way before continuing. "He criticized how I used his weapon. I think he isn't going to compete with you on which of you gets to torture me harder."

"Toshi," Izuku's voice got more demanding. It gave Hitoshi no space to lie. Best he could do was trying to present things as positively as possible.

"He was concerned about you… your mental health, what you could do," Hitoshi responded. "He saw… your fight with you know who."

"And…?"

"He wants you to see the school councilor if you want to get to the summer camp."

Both the following silence and Izuku's eyes told he did not believe it was all.

"...and if you want to be a hero. He didn't make any specific threats, but he thinks it would be a risk to send you to action without…"

"Without fixing me," Izuku huffed. At least he did not seem angry or scared at the possible threat to becoming a hero. He had never been too worried about it, but Hitoshi had expected a stronger reaction at being judged by Mr Aizawa. Hitoshi was not sure if that was good or very bad. He could have left it at that, but if he was ever going to act...

He drew a deep breath.

"He is right you, know. You need help and no matter how you feel about talking to anyone else we aren't enough to help you."

"I know," Izuku said but did not face Hitoshi, or really anyone. "We should get changed. I don't want to spend rest of the day in school dressing room."

He started getting up. Hitoshi reached out and grabbed his arm. As he spoke he spoke doing his best to channel Izuku when he was in a stronger mental state.

"Sit."

Izuku finally faced him and what resistance he had mustered died in his eyes. The sadness Hitoshi had observed before had not gone anywhere. Hitoshi did his best to keep his own stare stern.

"You can't keep brushing things aside. This isn't something you can train or punch away no matter how strong you are. You need help."

Izuku did not say anything and tugged his arm in a halfhearted attempt to make Hitoshi let go.

"Izuku, what are you so afraid of in getting help," Hitoshi stabbed where he hoped it would hurt, but not too much.

"I…" Izuku almost said something before closing up again and quick. The fear in his eyes was even clearer.

"You know… anyone here would go with you if that makes it better."

"He is right," Shoto said quietly and carefully, but with no doubt. "I went too, after talking to that doctor at hospital. Eijiro came with me. Maybe he can go with you."

A few hours ago Hitoshi would have supported that enthusiastically. Izuku finally responded to Shoto.

"Yeah, maybe," he did not even try to sound convinced and put his hand over Shoto's shoulder as if he was in any position to comfort anyone else. "You shouldn't worry about it. You still have your own worries. The court date is…"

"Izuku," Hitoshi said sharply, "don't try to change the topic. You don't need to always focus on only other's wellbeing. We are talking about you now."

Hitoshi paused to look at Izuku next to Shoto. Neither were in that good of a shape mentally, but Izuku did not avoid his eye contact the same way he had done to Hitoshi the whole conversation. Maybe he did not need someone trying to peep behind his mask for this.

"What if you go with Shoto?"

Izuku looked at both of them in silence but did not manage to show much resistance.

"I'll tell Mr Aizawa you two will go next week."

Izuku did not refuse it. Once sufficiently convinced of that, Hitoshi let him start changing back to the regular school uniform. It took surprisingly little effort to make Izuku pass on the idea of after school training at the sports field. Right now it was better for him to get out of here and get some rest.

They finally stepped out of the room as a group almost running into the back of Eijiro who was standing right in front of the door still. He jumped aside and only joined them at the back of the group. Him and Izuku being so careful between each other was really disturbing. Normally the best way to cheer Izuku up would have been to throw him at the redhead and wait.

At least others were outside of that. They greeted Eijiro with smiles, actually their looks had something more than that.

"At least we all seem to have passed," Shoto commented, reminding Hitoshi of one more unpleasant responsibility, "and what Eijiro did sounded amazing. I never realized he was that strong."

Both Hitoshi and Izuku froze still from Shoto's words like they had been hit by his quirk.

"What did you say?" Izuku whispered. "What about Eijiro?"

"Two sides means how the Rock Guy punched away a street," Dark Shadow said, reaching from Fumikage before looking back at him. "Isn't that what the sparkly said?"

"Something like that," Fumikage said, "even if it is hard to believe. With the supposed shockwave I have never heard of someone being that strong except the likes of All Might."

The others focused on nodding or looking at the redhead. They had not yet noticed Izuku starting to breathe faster.

"Sparkly," he muttered, "sparkly, Aoyama? How?"

At least the analytical part of his brain was still working.

"He talked about how Sato had told Kirishima saved him from being crushed, by punching away the concrete wall, and the street?" Fumikage said holding his hands against Dark Shadow where his mouth would have been. "Details are still in the shadows but much of the class seems to be talking about it after Sato got treated. We were hoping to ask more from Eijiro, but Mr Aizawa brought us here before that, for… well… Are you okay?"

They were finally noticing Izuku's worsening state and… panic? He leant forward gasping for air one hand on his chest other clawing at and scratching his neck. Hitoshi stepped in front of the whole group.

"Listen everyone. You should not talk about what Eijiro did to anyone else."

"Why?" Shoto asked.

"I…" Hitoshi stumbled in his words glancing at Izuku and Eijiro, "I am not totally sure, but it seems to be something that should be kept quiet about. Right?"

He gave a pleading look to Eijiro who was holding the back of his head grinning awkwardly.

"Eh, kind of. It is a long story I wasn't supposed to tell anyone or do anything like that."

"And what does it have to do with Izuku?" Tenya asked, perhaps in a harsher demanding tone as would have been appropriate."

"I…" Izuku tried to say something but was struggling with it.

"He has already figured out more than the rest of us," Hitoshi interrupted, "and of course worries about things enough to make him sick. Tenya, can you take up trying to keep the rest of the class quiet about this. It seems to be the kind of stuff that could get people in danger."

"I'll do my best."

"And I am pretty sure he already lectured Eijiro to stay quiet so you shouldn't pester him too much."

"Yeah," the redhead admitted, "sorry."

"Don't apologize," Hitoshi ordered before Izuku could. "Just help Izuku sort out what is stressing him so much. Can't imagine he'd be that worried for you lightly."

Yet Izuku had basically had a panic attack seemingly over what happened to Eijiro. Hitoshi stuck close to his patient trying to look like he wasn't watching Izuku closely as they left. There were still shadows he wasn't allowed to see into.