Hey Everybody! Sorry for the delay. Life, you know? Little Ash is growing like a weed, and our oldest son is growing even faster. On top of that, baby number three is on the way and we recently found out it's going to be a girl! Unfortunately, we will not be naming her Misty—it may be a good name for our favorite protagonist in this story, but in our world I worry it sounds a little too stripper-ish. Either way, I am very excited. Unfortunately for me, work has me out of the country for most of the year. Fortunately for you, all that time away from my family means I have more time to write. I am actually in the middle of a pretty ambitious original writing project, but I am also dedicating time to this story to hopefully finish it before I get back to the States.
With all that said, what are you hanging around here for? Scroll down, read, and REVIEW PLEASE!
"One more time. Ready. Set. Go!"
Ash sprinted as fast as he could up the sheer mountainside. For their last week of training, Ash had decided it would be beneficial to focus exclusively on each Pokémon's strengths. For Pikachu, that was speed.
"Pi-pi-pi." The little mouse—despite his tiny size—kept up alongside his master, and slowly started to pass him. This was their twentieth set, and Ash felt every muscle in his body screaming as the high altitude and heat combined to drain his body of all moisture and oxygen. Still, he knew he could not stop now. He was the general; these were his troops. He needed to inspire. As such, he tried to join in every workout with each of his Pokémon, whenever it was practical. Even where it was not practical, though, he still did not allow himself to rest or sit still. While one Pokémon was flying overhead, he would be researching at his laptop new flight patterns or defensive maneuvers for them to attempt. When another Pokémon was practicing its ghostly abilities, he would study up on interdimensional travel theory to figure out how it could be used in battle.
After a minute, they were back at the summit. The mountain range where Bruno had once trained was ideal for uphill endurance running. There were countless peaks and valleys as the mountains ran north toward the Indigo Plateau and Mount Silver, all of varying heights and depths. Since it was the end of the day, he decided on a smaller climb, but one with an impressive view to serve as motivation.
"Let's sit." The summit was nearly flat. Ash dangled his legs over the side as Pikachu took a seat next to him. The sun was lowering in the west, as they looked out onto the Kanto-Johto border. Ash took a sip from his hydration pack, then poured some out for Pikachu to lap up.
Although it had made practical sense to end the day with Pikachu, there had been another, more sentimental, reason for it as well.
"Here we are. Back where it started."
"Pi."
"Did you ever think we'd get here?"
Pikachu nodded.
"Well, you're better than me. There have been so many times, in the last two years alone, where I wanted to quit." They sat silently for a few moments. "It wasn't just after Venusaur, either. A couple months ago, when we caught that Spiritomb, it showed me this vision of me crying." He looked down at Pikachu, who was staring ahead at the sunset, still panting from the run. "I was crying because you were gone, buddy."
They sat together in silence once more.
"And after I woke up, I kinda forgot about that dream for a while, but lately I've been having nightmares like it." He chuckled grimly. "Maybe letting a bunch of restless spirits possess me wasn't the best idea, huh? Anyway, in that dream I'm not just crying over you; I'm surrounded by graves. Venusaur, Lance, even Misty's mom for some reason. And they just keep multiplying and growing."
"I don't know what it means, really. I think part of it is just the aftereffect of dealing with a ghost type, but some of it has to deal with my guilt. I feel like this path—becoming the Master—has led to so much more trouble than I ever imagined. And a few days ago I woke up from the dream thinking I should quit again."
He fell backward and looked up at the sky. "I can't tell the other Pokémon this, because I need them to believe in me. I haven't even told Misty. I know she'd support me and tell me that I can't quit, and this is my dream. But, honestly, I've put her through so much the last couple of years, I really don't want to unload even more on her. She was the one who pulled me out of my last spiral, along with Gary, and I don't want her to think all of that work was for nothing."
He turned to Pikachu. "But I know I can always come to you, buddy. You don't judge me, right?"
"Pika!" In response, Pikachu walked over and licked Ash's nose.
"Thanks." He smiled and turned back to the purpling sky. "Yeah, the feeling about quitting passed almost as soon as it came, just like it did that night when we caught Spiritomb. I think the scary thing, though, is that it appeared at all. I still remember when we started this journey. The very first day. Nothing was gonna keep me from becoming the Pokémon Master. If you showed that version of me this version of me, the only thing that would surprise him is how long took to get to this point. I thought I would be just like Red: win at Indigo and immediately take on the Elite Four, Lance, and then Red himself."
He laughed bitterly. "All that with a team that I barely trained, and a brain that struggled to understand basic type match-ups. I really was a dumb kid, huh?"
"Pi."
"You didn't have to agree so quickly. Still, sometimes I'm jealous of that little twerp—to borrow a phrase from Team Rocket—and how confident he was. I find myself questioning everything. Every Pokémon on this team, every attack, every defense. I made a plan, and I've mostly stuck to it in preparing for this last battle. Changing too much now would almost definitely be a bad move. But when I question whether I should be here at all . . . well, it scares me. It makes me feel like I'm standing at a cliff's edge," he gestured before them, "and dangling my toes over the side. You know how you sometimes feel like jumping when you're so close?"
"Pika."
"Well, there's a word for it, and that's how I feel when I wake up from those dreams. When I think about quitting I almost feel a pull to do it. To just jump and let everything go that I've worked towards for so long."
He smiled again. "But then I think about you. And Misty. And Ma, and Oak, and even Gary. I think about May and Drew, Dawn and Brock. I think about all my Pokémon. And it hits me that I have so many people on my side; so many people who believe in me, that it's insane I can't believe in myself. And then I start to believe in myself. And when I do that—" he grinned, " —I remember that I want this. I want to be the Master. I love you. I love Misty. I love my mom and all my friends. I love all Pokémon. I want to make this a better world for those people and Pokémon, and the best way to do that is to become the Master."
He sighed. "But I guess that takes me to the other problem: what if I lose?"
"Like I said, I can't talk about this with the others, for the same reason as why I can't talk about wanting to quit. I need everyone to believe in me. But me and you have been here before, haven't we?" He rolled over and rubbed Pikachu behind the pointed ears as the Pokémon laid down and drowsily continued to listen. "We've been here in the quiet, right before a big battle. And it hasn't always gone our way, has it?"
"Chu."
"Failure isn't something that scares me. At least, not really. I've had my share of it by now. But I guess letting everyone down kinda does."
"I know that, win or lose, everyone will tell me how proud they are. If we lose, they will rally behind me and lift me up like they always have. Even Gary will probably push me to my feet, which is crazy to think about."
"Pika."
"But I don't want that. I don't want to have to be cheered up. I want to be a hero. I always have. I want them to see me stand up there in front of the world, the winner, and know that I have it. I'm the Master now, and they can rest knowing I will take care of everything for them. They have all been there for me and now I can be there for them; I can help the gym leaders and champions in making their gym and regions better, I can help trainers have better lives, I can help Pokémon live safe from the likes of Team Rocket."
"It's all about reassurance. For so long I have been reassured by others. Whenever anything has gone wrong, someone—usually multiple people—have been there to lift me up. I want to be the one to lift others. To reassure them. I want them to look at me like how I've looked at many of them and just know, just from seeing my arrival, that everything is going to be okay."
"But that can only happen if I become the Master. Once I have that position, I can do so much good."
"Pi."
He looked over and saw that the little yellow mouse was curled up with his lightning-shaped tail, slowly drifting off. He smiled and sat up.
"Or, maybe, being the Master will just make being a hero easier. You and I have helped lots of people over the years. No matter what happens, that won't change." He thought quietly for a few minutes. "Yeah, I guess I take back what I say, a little bit. I can be a hero to people no matter what happens in this battle."
To the east, Kanto's western border fell into darkness as the mountain range's shadow cast itself across the fields, valleys, and towns. Ash could see the distant twinkling of Viridian's lights coming to life as twilight grew.
"Still, becoming the Master would be more than just an achievement for me. It would be what we have all worked for, for so long. And it would make changing things for the better much easier."
He nodded. "Right. So it's decided. We'll win this battle, make everyone proud, and continue fighting to save the world. Losing is impossible, but even if it happens, we'll do the same. Deal?"
"Deal?"
He looked over and saw the mouse Pokémon gently snoring.
"Deal."
Author's Notes: I recognize that this is a bit of a glorified monologue, given that the other conversant can only repeat his name. However, I stand firm in my belief that this chapter was not unnecessary exposition. My little chihuahua girl passed away a couple of years ago. I loved her so much, and even though she could not speak, I knew she understood how I felt and that allowed me to be free and open when talking through problems with her. In real life, we sometimes have to take time to reflect on where we have been, where we are, and where we are going. Ash should be written no differently in this respect. He has worked toward his goal for almost a decade at this point, and now he is on the verge of achieving it. How many of us could get to that point without engaging in some crucial self-reflection? And just like me and my chihuahua, certainly Ash has a connection with Pikachu where he knows he can be himself and work through his problems with a creature who knows and loves him. Further, this chapter was necessary because I wanted to show that Pikachu is indeed Ash's best friend. Looking back, there is not too much I regret in how I wrote this story, but one thing that annoys me is how little Ash-Pikachu interaction I included. Pikachu has always been there, and they have had some great moments (my personal favorite is Pikachu versus Entei in the Paul battle), but still, there could have been more. So, hopefully this chapter sets that wrong right, at least in part.
Anyway, here we are. Much like Ash and Pikachu on the cliff's edge, looking out at the westering sun of our time together. In two chapters: the battle begins.
By the way, sorry. I know last chapter I said only one more chapter before the battle begins, but as I was revisiting this story's previous chapters I realized there was a crucial plot point I had set-up that had not been resolved, so next chapter will rectify that before Ash and Red's battle.
See you then!