Now, compared to last episode, this one will feature a more simple challenge. We'll also have a guest judge this episode, one that will probably make you want to smack him straight in the face.
As for review responses:
Luckyhill: Mr. Cheese probably isn't going anytime soon, considering his team practically worships him. Also, I gotta say, your work certainly needs...a lot of improvement, but don't let that deter you man, keep up, and try to one up yourself. That's the spirit!
Enjoy!
"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness!" Chris's voice said as at the Camp Wawanakwa dock.
"The three teams were given some delicious chocolate cakes out of complete nowhere, which were lased with the cum of Verbelase, turning everyone black! They then went on a multiversal hunt for any solution to their ethnic plight! Team Rose came in first, getting some blood from infamous chud youtuber TheQuartering! Team Pee Pee also managed to cure their ebola by ways of a scientist from another fanfiction, curing them of of the infamous disease! Meanwhile, Team Cocoa were stuck in Goiky as a result of Toby Queef splitting their machine in half, there, there were singing narrators, evil leafs, racists and dragons! In the end though, they couldn't find any solution to their problem that wouldn't last weeks to do, and had to do the elimination themselves. Speaking of eliminaton, Nick tried to beat Mr. Cheese by getting the majority votes, but the cheese-head's incredible charisma resulted in his own vote off! Team Cocoa's still there as of this moment, will they be back soon? Find out now on
Total
Drama
Multiversal Madness!"
After the complete clusterfuck of a challenge last time, Team Rose and Team Pee Pee were starting to relax. Oh, and Team Cocoa was still stuck in Goiky of course.
At the Team Pee Pee cabin, Ashley was reading a book called "Spellbook for dummies!" alone, just quietly enjoying herself, until a certain redhead just had to ruin it.
"Hey Ash? How are you doing?" Asked Mona, who went to the witch.
"Oh, nothing out of the ordinary, just, reading a book, like I always do."
Mona was playing with her hair as she got closer to her friend. "N-No, not that. I was thinking that you've been more quiet than usual. Like, I know you're an introverted gal and all, but you've almost never spoken to anyone for days! It's kind of worrying."
Ashley let out a deep sigh. "Ah, that? I'm just trying to play the game by simply not involving myself with all the drama on my team. That's a viable strategy, right?"
"Yeah, highly doubt that. You're probably just using it as an excuse to be lazy. I suggest we try to be more of an asset to our team, that way, if we lose, we won't get targeted for being liabilities!"
"...You sure about that?"
"Absolutely! I'd be a total bummer if you spent all your team here like at home!"
"...Fine, but if it backfires, don't be afraid to hear "I told you so." several times."
"Good on that girl!"
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Confessional: Mona
Mona: Ok, now that Ashley's on my side, we'll totally run this game! Ooh, I can just see the reactions everyone will have seeing us both in the top 10 together! The looks on their faces will be precious!
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Confessional: Ashley
Ashley: Wario, why did you allow us here? Don't you realize losing even 2 employees temporarily would be catastrophical for your game company? If you're gonna be greedy, at least be smart about it.
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In the middle of the woods, Cordelia and Rottytops had both arrived to meet their new ally. The former had arrived earlier than expected and was in a soldier's typical position, whilst the latter was a bit late, playing around with her head like a ball.
"So, how's it goin' boss? Any orders?" Rottytops asked Plankton, who was patiently waiting for her this whole time.
"Took ya long enough! Next time you slack off like that, don't expect me to treat you nicely!"
"Yeah, whatever you say." She said as she whistled.
"Alright, today's our first alliance meeting. Do you understand?!"
Both of the women nodded. "Great. Now, the first thing every alliance must think of is our target. Any ideas?"
"Jeffy." They both said in unison.
"There's something incredibly wrong with that kid!" Cordelia explained. "I'm not comfortable being near him at all!"
"Same here, wanna smash him into teeny tiny bits!"
"Yeah...NO!" Plankton said. "Instead of getting rid of obvious shields, I suggest we try to get rid of bigger threats. Case in point: Johnny!"
"Why him?" Cordelia asked. "He's a jerk I know, but he is useful to our team."
"Oh you sweet naive woman, that's exactly why we should get him out! Someone like him has the strength to make it really far, but he's also pretty aggressive, so we can use that flaw to get him out as quick as we can!"
"That sounds manipulative and logical, just how I like it!" Rottytops remarked.
"I suppose we should then, but, can you promise we'll get rid of Jeffy later?"
"Sure, he'll be even easier to get rid of!"
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Confessional: Plankton
Plankton: Now, I haven't told those two of my alliance with the two losers on Team Rose, because they might get at me for "betraying" the team or whatever these naive goody two shoes claim! So I'll hide that till the merge.
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Confessional: Rottytops
Rottytops: Look, I know I'm supposed to be a "good guy" and all, but bein' a bad guy is so much more fun than being a hero all the time! Hope Shantae doesn't get offended by this though, n-not because I like her or anything, but because she cries way too loudly!
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Confessional: Cordelia
Cordelia: Plankton and Rottytops are giving me some bad vibes, but I do genuinely believe this alliance is the best thing to do for my game, so it is what it is.
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In the middle of the woods, Nichelle was seen training using a punching bag, which she imagined in her head as Bea.
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Confessional: Nichelle
Nichelle: Imagining myself beating the heck outta my mortal enemy does ease me up a little. The only cool thing about that dumb girl is her abs, I wish I could have that muscle! A-And it's not because they're attractive or anything, because I don't s-swing that way, but because that's one of the only things I want that I don't have!
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As Nichelle kept punching the bag harder and harder, she was approached by Dee Jay.
"Hey there mon!"
"Uh, what do you want Dee Jay?" She asked, rather annoyed. "Can't you see I'm busy right about now? And don't tell me it's about Bea!"
"Oh, well you see mon, I wasn't actually...I-I wanted t-to talk about...Yes, it's about Bea."
"Alright then, tell her make sure to not get diabetes from all the chocolate she eats!"
Dee Jay actually clenched his fists a little, not taking her trash talk lightly. "Don't talk to my friend like that! What did she ever do to you anyway? You've went out of your way to demean her day 1!"
Nichelle laughed a bit. "Isn't it obvious? Ever since my first elimination on this stupid show, I've been a complete laughingstock! Season 1 had me mentally break down in front of millions, and all the support I got was my parents taking all my money away and then getting blacklisted by Hollywood for the crime of crying on TV! Then, for season 2, I got a bunch of personal trainers to help me become the actual badass movies portrayed me, then I got tricked like a moron by some fake contract and now everyone completely ignored all my other genuine acomplishments! And now, I've managed to actually surpass both my prior performances, but It'll probably be ignored again because your dumb bitch friend takes away all the spotlight! THERE! YOU GOT THE ANSWER! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"
Dee Jay didn't know what to say. He slowly backed off from her as she didn't even notice he was gone.
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Confessional: Dee Jay
Dee Jay: Wow, that was uh, something mon. I used to think she was just an arrogant show off who needed to be put in her place but now, now I feel bad for her. Maybe tell Bea? Can't decide mon.
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Sanders was doing some push ups to prepare for the future challenges. "97...98...99...100!" As she finished her routine, she decided to head out into the woods for breakfast when she was Banban trying to cling on to Boba Fett, who promptly shoved the demon off of his back.
"For the last time Banban, I'm not giving you a piggyback ride in the air! It could easily hurt you."
"B-But Bob! I'd be so cool to do that bestie! My Indie Horror friends are gonna love a selfie like that!"
"Once again, I have little clue as to what you are saying, and honestly, I prefer it to be that way."
Sanders went up to them. "Hey guys. I see Banban's a pain in the ass again?"
"Jokes on you! I don't have one! If I did, my Mascot Horror game wouldn't be allowed to be played by kids!"
"But I don't think horror is meant for kids?"
"Courage The Cowardly Dog? The Grim Tales Of Billy And Mandy? Coraline? You probably just hate autistic people!"
"Fair point."
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Confessional: Sanders
Sanders: Despite neither of them seeming to get along, Boba Fett and Banban have been pretty buddy buddy for quite a while. That just smells alliance all over it.
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Team Cocoa were watching as Pillow was playing some strange variation of chess with a slice of chocolate cake.
Cake-The Gay Kid (BFDI)
"Man this is so boring!" Sonic complained whilst loudly snoring. "What are they even playing anyway? Pretty sure that's not how you play chess!"
The cake decided to explain that. "Oh, this little game? It's Yoyle Chess, it's...um...Pillow, what are the rules again?"
"Not knowing the rules of Yoyle Chess is by itself against the rules of Yoyle Chess! Therefore, I win!"
Pillow then shoved the game board right in the cake's face. "Aw man."
"Could we at least, like, play some games, like, as well? Oh, maybe there's like something similar to, like, Card Wars in Goiky?" LSP said.
"That is the most generic name for a card game I've ever heard." Player remarked.
"It would be way coower if it was cawwed Cheese Wars!" Mr. Cheese said, which got him cheers from Homer.
"For once, I agree with Mr. Cheese." Player admitted.
And then, right in front of the whole team, a dimensional machine spawned, with Chris and the guards coming out of it quickly.
And just as quickly, everyone cheered. "Look who's back! I'd feel pretty good right now if Amy wasn't waiting on the other side!"
Swag tried to put his hand on Sonic's you-know-what, but the hedgehog evaded it and spin dashed into him. "Oh no! Just because I'm not interested in that lovestruck pinkie doesn't mean I'm into men!"
Gordman shed a tear. "Damn, my Sonadow Wattpad fanfiction is not canon compliant anymore!"
Chris completely ignored this and just told them the basics. "Alrighty guys, it's challenge time. Go in the machine and don't bitch about the whole "leaving you stranded for a whole week" thing. Consider that a vacation."
"Hey, are we bringing in Nick with us to send him to the TLC?" Ash asked.
"First off, it's the TLC of Shame, better remember that next time! Second, I don't give a flying FUCK about Nick or his show! My spic of a daughter actually treats her interns with a teeny tiny bit of humanity, and that's woke as all hell! The whole show's woke as well! It feels like big fuckin' rainbows pop out the damn sky whenever those fags even talk to each other! My homosexuals are nice enough not to kiss more than once and have one get out early merge! FUCK this gay agenda!"
Everyone was just...silent.
"Uh, Mr. Cheese feels attacked right now!"
Homer hugs Mr. Cheese in a gay way.
"All right, let's just go back to Wawanakwa. This is getting too gay for my taste." Chris declared as he pointed to the dimensional machine to get Team Cocoa in, before seeing a strange machine called "Recovery Center". "Hey, what the hell does that mean?"
"That's a Recovery Center. We at Goiky use it to revive ourselves after we die." Pillow explained.
"Hmmm? Let me try something." Chris said as he typed "Mae" in the Recovery Center, which did nothing. "Well that didn't work."
"You dum dum! You can't recover someone if they died in a different universe!"
"How do you know that?"
"I learned just now!"
"Whatever. Lemme try something else." Chris then inputted "Duncan" and it actually worked. Duncan came out of it and was confused. "Woah, where am I?"
Duncan-The Guy Who Blew Up Chris's Cottage (This Fucking Show)
"Here's the deal: You've been dead for over a decade due to Owen's far balloons popping when you got out the stratosphere, with you dying by either suffocation or drowning."
"That's weird. How's Courtney doing?"
"She's also dead, and I could easily bring her back in literal seconds!"
"Sweet!"
"One more thing: You haven't served you jail sentence, so boys! Take him away!"
The guards then forcefully grabbed Duncan. "Hey! The hell man! I was dead for a long ass time, and I still have to serve that prison sentence?!"
"Yup. And just a friendly bit of advice: never be in the same room as prisoner 445, unless you wanna get butt raped! Believe me, I know that from first hand experience!"
"No! NOOOOOOOOO!" Duncan yelled as the two guards sent him back to prison.
The other two teams were left at the challenge site, waiting for Chris to show up with Team Cocoa.
"What's taking them so long? I gotta know Sonic's safe!" Amy said.
Cream tried to reassure her. "Sonic must be fine Amy. He's way too strong to be in any serious danger!"
"Hey, has anyone noticed Toby Queef's gone?" Banban asked.
"I didn't, and honestly, I don't want him back." Sanders responded.
"But that dude was hilarious!"
"But he wasn't nice!" Leafy complained. "And not being nice is deserving of the death penalty, and by the way, stealing an island from your "friend" after he got you killed on his ferris wheel and then didn't allow you there on his island because he got mad you complained about it IS a nice thing to do!"
"Oh shit, thanks second pair of green tits! I might just do that in the future!" Jeffy said to Leafy, which got her mad.
"Mean character."
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Confessional: Jeffy
Jeffy was slapping his diaper.
Jeffy: Did you guys know I had a youtube channel called Freesmart? I made super good TTS vids of cool shit like "BFDI but girls", and for some reason I got cancelled because I said Pillow is sexy AF. Fuckin' projection! Look that up on wikitubia!
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Finally, the dimensional machine spawned right in everyone's faces, and all the cocoas were kicked out one by one.
"Hey! Don't touch my butt! That's where you get AIDS!" Connor complained as Swag hit his ass out the machine.
Naturally, Amy grabbed Sonic as quickly as she could. "Oh my dear Sonic! I hope you're alright sweetie!"
Sonic wasn't very pleased. "Amy, do you not have anything better to do right now? Don't you like playing with tarot cards or something?"
"NERD!" Homer yells.
"Yeah bro, tarrot cards are so cringe!" Mr. Cheese says.
Chris used his megaphone. "EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP! And Amy, do something other than simp for once! Anyways, today's challenge involves food."
Homer and Brody both jumped in the air and said "WOOOO! FOOOD!" at the same time.
Johnny decided to use this opportunity to make fun of Brody. "If you love food so much, why don't you look fatter than a neckbeard?"
Mona defended Brody. "Um, Johnny, can you be a little nicer? Brody hasn't done anything to you."
Chris took out his megaphone again. "THIS EPISODE IS ALREADY SUPER FUCKING LONG! DON'T PAD IT OUT WITH SHITTY CHARACTERS! Anyway, this is a cooking competition, so if you, for some reason, voted off all the girls on your team, you would've been screwed."
"That's a very misogynistic thing to say Chris." Sanders complained.
"Watch Disventure Camp if you want a retarded wholesome uwu show. This challenge will have a guest host. He's a famous Singaporean food critic blogger, infamous for his extremely scathing and vitriolic reviews, even directly causing the suicide of a restaurant owner, so make sure not to fuck with him. Everyone meet Wen Ts'ai!"
Wen Ts'ai came out of the kitchen, looking quite angry. He was an asian guy with a moustache and a black suit. About as black as someone can be without being black.
Wen Ts'ai-The Food Critic (Hitman)
"That was one of the worst kitchens I've ever seen!" Ts'ai complained. "What kind of respected reality show would have such garish work environment."
"Dude is just straight up spitting facts, what's wrong with that?" Banban asks.
"And that's not even the worst part. These chefs all look like some ai generated rubbish you'd see online! Their mear presence is already making me sick to my stomach! The chances of them getting a score higher than a 5 is near zero!"
"Ok, I get it. Fuck this guy." Banban declared. "You guys agree right?"
Everyone nods yes.
"Of course, you barbaric abominations can't handle the slightest of criticism. How utterly pathetic."
Naturally, everyone was angry at him, with Bea in particular being ready to punch him to smithereens, only being stopped by Dee Jay grabbing her. "OH YOU JACKASS!"
"Ah, it's quite sad no one can simply recognize their own problems nowadays, it's all sunshine and rainbows until your flaws are pointed out, and you'll lash out like a wild animal."
Pillow then points a gun at him. "You were saying?"
"As much as I love seeing so much drama, we're on a time limit to finish this, so you assholes go in the kitchen to cook a bunch of food for this guy!"
"Ok, but where is Toby Queef?" Banban asked.
Right as he asked that, Toby Queef's van materialized in front of everyone.
"Wassup little faggots? Did ya miss me?" Toby Queef asked everyone. "And good to know there's less black people now!"
"First off, how are you alive? You got vored. Second, how did you travel back here?" Player asked.
"Oh simple enough. I simply drove really fuckin' far, and then I drove in circles till I opened a hole in space time continuum!" Toby Queef explained.
"Makes more sense than anything the far right folks at ATN say." Connor said.
Chris took out his trusty megaphone. "CHALLENGE STARTS NOW!"
Ts'ai was frustrated. "Do you not value the ears of your customers?"
"What did I say about only verbally abusing the contestants? Well fuck it, START THE CHALLENGE DAMN IT!"
Banban decided to start the challenge with a bright idea. "Alright guys, me and Boba Fett are gonna cook some good shit in Toby's van, got that?"
"Can I come in? I might be of help with whatever you're cooking." Sanders asked him.
"What no? You're female! No femoids allowed in Mr. Queef's van!"
"Note that I don't agree with everything Banban says." Boba Fett clarified. "So, if he says something dumb, just know I'm groaning in frustration the same as you."
"Ok, let's go bestie!" Banban said as he grabbed Boba Fett and went to Toby Queef's van. "Queef, can you order some chemistry equipment?"
"Since you're white adjacent, I guess so!" Toby Queef responded as he called Amazon.
Meanwhile, at Team Pee Pee, Mona decided to take the challenge by herself.
"So guys, I'm a decent enough cook, I can totally make some food with a little help. Anyone wanna help me?"
Cabby raised her hand. "I've got quite a few cooking recipes in somewhere that is totally not in my files, and with that, we'll have this challenge in the bag!"
"And I can cook some instant noodles pal!" Gumshoe claimed. "That's the only thing I've eaten in years!"
Cabby decided to stop him from going. "Hush now Gumshoe, after all the contributions to the team, I think you deserve a fair rest."
Mona then went to Ashley. "And what about you Ash? You're pretty knowledgeable about mixing stuff since you're a witch and all, that would be pretty helpful!"
"That's, um...a big assumption to make." She responded.
"Come on! Don't be shy, let's go win the challenge!" Mona then grabs Ashley by the ponytail to the kitchen.
"I'm not shy...I just...hate people." She remarks as she was getting dragged, standing perfectly still as well.
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Confessional: Ashley
Ashley: Someone, save me from this hell. This is the least monotone I can be.
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And finally there was Team Cocoa.
"Does anyone have literally any plan?" Player asked, which caused Homer to raise his hand. "Homer isn't an "anyone", by the way."
"I have one! Wet's just make multipwe cheese meals!" Mr. Cheese said. "I got my own restaurant cawwed the Cheese Louise, so I'm probably the most fit to cook stuff!"
"That's a great idea Mr. Cheese." Connor admitted. "But I've got a better one: Why don't we got back to Goiky for a little bit, and then feed the food characters to Mister Ts'ai? I saw some sentient chocolate cake, sentient pie, sentient fries, all up and ready to go!"
Everyone looked at Connor. "What? What did I do wrong?"
"Not like, a big fan of, like, eating food people. There's a frickin Candy Kingdom back in Ooo and the princess there is like, besties with me! I don't wanna lose like my 4th favorite bestie!" LSP explained.
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Confessional: Connor Roy
Connor: Well there goes my chances of ever becoming president of Goiky or Ooo.
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"Maybe we should do something about Homer?" Ash asked. "He might eat our food."
"What, me? What do y'all have against me?!"
"You're lazy, you're Mr. Cheese's most blind defender, you singlehandedly lost us 2 challenges." Player explained.
"B-But I work at a nuclear power plant!"
The Cocoa's look at each other in the eye for a second.
We then cut to Homer, tied up on a random tree as he struggled trying to get out.
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Confessional: Player
Player: Thank God he's not into that.
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Out of the air came an Amazon package strapped to a balloon. Boba Fett shot it with his blaster to open it, and found a bunch of chemistry equipment.
"So what exactly are we supposed to do with this?" Boba Fett asked Banban.
"Oh simple! I-I just bought the needed ingredients!" He then shows a bag of suspicious white powder. "Swag let me borrow some of his!"
"Oh I know exactly how this is goin'." Toby Queef said. "Hopefully the chinaman ain't a pussy."
"Bobby!" Banban said in a deep voice. "We need to cook!"
"Ok."
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Confessional: Boba Fett
Boba Fett: I've got a bad feeling about this.
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Confessional: Banban
Banban: My name is Banban B. Banbanson. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Canada, Quebec, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead– murdered by my partner in crime for many years, Jumbo Josh. Josh has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 21th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Josh was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time – something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a ligma diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Josh took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Josh had a partner, a businessman named Stinger Flynn. Josh sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Flynn threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Josh and Flynn had a falling-out. Things escalated. Flynn was able to arrange – uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" – on Josh, and failed, but Josh was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Josh was hell bent on revenge. Working with a woman named Opila Bird, he plotted to kill Flynn. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Josh had risen to become the head of the Quebec DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Banban points to the bruise on his face left by Jumbo Josh in "Garten of Banban 15."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Josh will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
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Confessional: Toby Queef
Toby Queef: Hope that fag can gimme some o' that meth fo me. And no, you dumb fuckin' hippies, I don't share.
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At Team Rose's side of the kitchen, Dee Jay was happily singing and dancing as he was preparing some bacon pancakes.
"Bacon pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes,
Take some bacon and I'll put it in a pancake,
Bacon pancakes, that's what it's gonna make,
Bacon pancaaake!"
Shortly after that, Bea sneaked in, to see what he was making. She took one look at the pancakes and could hardly hide her growing apatite.
Her stomach growled, revealing her location to Dee Jay. "Oh Bea, hi! What are you doing here mon? I said I would cook by myself."
"...It's uh, n-nothing. I-I was just c-coming here to c-check on you, that's all."
"Really? Yeah, no. You're just coming here to take a look at my pancakes, don't you mon? Don't worry, I can save some for you if you want!"
"N-No. I-I d-don't!" Bea angrily denied. "I-I've got better t-things to do BYE!" She then ran off quickly.
"Weird."
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: I, can't, really seem to keep my e-emotions in check, for the past few weeks. Maybe it's because of Nichelle, maybe I haven't been used to interacting with so many people on a regular basis, who knows?
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Whilst Wen Ts'ai was waiting for his meals, he felt like being a whiny bitch at the moment. "When are those imbeciles going to show up? This waiting time is revolting! No halfway decent business takes so long!"
"First off, we aren't a fucking restaurant. Second, these guys aren't professional chefs, your expectations are impossibly high!" Gordman said.
"And as for you, this is highly unprofessional! Don't you know the saying "the customer is always right."? You should be grateful to even have people like me on your show! Don't expect a good review with this attitude of yours!"
Gordman pointed his gun at him. "Listen here asshole: You're a d-list level food critic, not Gordon Ramsey! You're not here to review the whole fucking locale, you just eat the food! And stop bitching and whining at literally everything!"
"I wouldn't be so confident if I were you. Right now, I could call my lawyers to ruin your life for this threat on my life!"
Gordman reluctantly lowered his gun. "Asshole."
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Confessional: Wen Ts'ai
Ts'ai: UGH! A camera here? Does this washed up has been of a host not value the privacy of his guests?! Baffling at best, predatory behavior at worst!
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At Team Pee Pee, Ashley was mixing some flour for a cake Mona was making. "Mona really wants me to step in her shoes, huh?"
"I don't know about that." Cordelia responded as she was sweeping the kitchen. "Doubt your little legs could fit insider her boots."
"I really should've have brought a book with me to learn what metaphors people knew in medieval times."
"You don't really need a book, I've probably got a file for that." Cabby remarked as she was preparing some green beans.
"Please, stop with the talking, or else I might get an aneurysm from all that social interaction." Ashley sarcastically (or not?) said.
"I wish Sumia was here. Her pies would've surely warmed Ts'ai's cold, cold heart." Cordelia noted.
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Confessional: Cordelia
Cordelia: It always feels like I'm forgetting something.
She thinks for a second or two.
Cordelia: Now that I think about it, it's probably just my pegasus, I haven't been seperated from her since I joined the Pegasus Knights many years ago. I miss her.
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Mr. Cheese was cooking his classic Cheese Louise meal: a big cheese sandwich with some bacon bread. Connor walked into the room.
"Didn't think you'd be such a good cook Mr. Cheese. I might just make you my personal chef when I win this year's elections."
"Thanks Connor, but I'm already well off. Pwus, TheGentleman might not wanna weave our home, we're pretty happy there."
"Alright then. Can you at least tell me where you were when Jeffery Epstein died?"
Mr. Cheese stopped cooking for a moment out of shock. "W-Why?" Whilst this was happening, Pillow put some powder on the cheese sandwich which read "kill people powder."
"You probably wouldn't wanna know why, just tell me."
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Confessional: Mr. Cheese
Mr. Cheese: Since my fans outnumber the haters, I think we should win a chawwenge for once! And if we wose, I'll probabwy keep Pwayer around a wittle bit longer so I can rub my success in his face some more.
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In Toby Queef's van, Boba Fett was unknowingly making some fine sugar. And by sugar I mean the type that is very addictive and can make your teeth fall off. I could describe how that went, but lemme do something better: Look up "Breaking Bad Cooking Scenes" and just imagine the bald white guy is Boba Fett. Bam, no need for prose at all!
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Confessional: Swagmaster6969696969
Swag was taking a shit.
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By now, the girls were done with their food. Ashley and Mona helped bake a somewhat crude looking chocolate cake, meanwhile Cabby and Cordelia made healthy green beans.
"Guys, we're done! With all the passion and soul we've put in our food, there's no way we aren't gonna win!" Mona exclaimed as she brought the food out.
"Dude, this looks super delicious! You're the best!" Brody yelled out, causing Mona to blush.
"T-Thanks and all. Though I'll give credit to the other 3 cooks as well, couldn't have done it without them!"
"Yeah probably could've." Ashley denied.
The only member who wasn't pleased was Jeffy, who was shacking in what seemed to be a fit of rage at the green beans.
"I! HATE! GREEN BEANS!" He yelled as he threw the green beans onto the floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Johnny yelled in return. "ARE YOU RETARDED?! WE'RE GONNA LOSE NOW!"
Even Cabby was mad at him. "Y-You what?! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?! Y-YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!"
Leafy then tried to calm her down. "Relax Cabs, you shouldn't be mean to someone regardless of their behavior!"
"But you do that all the time?"
"I didn't hear you!"
"IF YOU FUCKERS THINK YOU CAN JUST MAKE FUCKIN' GREEN BEANS BEHIND MY BACK, WELL FUCK YOU THEN!" Jeffy roared before Johnny punched him in the sack, knocking him out. "What? You would've done the same thing!"
Plankton on the other hand, immediately thought of a plan. "Hey Rotty." He whispered to his ally. "Go grab somethin' from the other team, wouldn't ya?"
Rottytops noted and detached her arm and went to the other kitchens.
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Confessional: Plankton
Plankton: Confucious Say: in chaos there is opportunity! Or was that Socrates?
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Toby Queef, Banban and Boba Fett arrived to their team and went to Dee Jay with the "sugar" that they cooked.
"Sup guys, we made some real good stuff in the van!" Banban said.
"Good to know mon, but what did you do anyways?"
Boba Fett then showed it to him in a small, transparent bag. "It's this thing. Banban calls it "sugar" or something."
Dee Jay took one look at it and immediately realized what was up. "And this is just crystal meth right? Pretty sure it's illegal to manufacture it."
Boba Fett was shocked. "What? Banban, you didn't tell me that!"
"How did you know?" Banban bluntly asked.
"It's because he's a ni-" Toby Queef tried to say as he was cut off by Banban.
"Woah there! The creator already put a content warning for that last chapter, twice is just overkill! And I don't wanna have a screeching mob report us because we didn't add that!"
"Dudily fuckin' noted."
"So are we just using this or what?" Boba Fett asked.
"Normally I'd say no mon, but since I'm bored right now, might as well."
Banban jumped in the air and yelled "YAY!".
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Confessional: Toby Queef
Toby Queef: Note to self, make s'more drugs for money.
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Confessional: Boba Fett
Boba Fett: Note to self, never listen to Banban's ideas again.
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Rottytops's arm had arrived in the Team Cocoa kitchen. It staggered a bit trying to find food, but eventually touched Mr. Cheese meal, and quickly grabbed it.
Pillow saw that transpire, and rather than tell her teammates, decided to do a little trolling.
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Confessional: Rottytops
Rottytops held the sandwich in her hand.
Rottytops: Mmmm! This looks delish! I mighta just take a bite outta it, but the reviewer guy might complain about that, so yeah, no.
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Pillow went up to Donald and grabbed him. He tried to struggle out of her hands, but it didn't work at all. Pillow then took him all the way to the kitchen. She then put him in the oven as Donald banged inside to be spared, but she had no mercy at all so she set the timer and heat and just waited patiently. When she was done, Donald was now a juicy turkey (ignore that he is/was a duck) ready to be served to Wen Ts'ai.
The intercom played. "Time's up losers! Bring in the food now so Mr. Ts'ai can maybe stop bitching every 5 minutes!"
The teams arrived at the challenge site.
"That was an awfully long time." Ts'ai noted. "So don't expect me to go easy on your dishes."
"We get it bro, can we just move on from now?" Swag said. "Fuck this shit I'm out, gonna go play Fortnite Chapter 5 season 2!"
"Anyways." Chris said. "There's multiple dishes at play, so we'll mix the order up a little. First is Team Cocoa, who only have 1 dish!"
Pillow brought out the turkey she made, which confused her teammates.
"Wait, didn't Mr. Cheese make a cheese sandwich?" Ash asked.
Ts'ai didn't even take a bite and he was already not very pleased. "This looks like it was made literally minutes before being served, disgusting! How am I supposed to eat this unfinished disaster?! 3/10!"
"You literally didn't even bother tasting it, which is, you know, your job." Player remarked. "This is gonna be a disaster."
"Up next is Team Pee Pee's first meal!" Chris said.
Mona was the one to bring it to him, with her being pretty cheery the whole time. "Hey mister, it's totally been an honor making this from you, and even if I screw up, I just hope you can understand how much it means for me to get a good score."
Ts'ai took one look and entered a fit or rage. "This?! Are you insane? Look at this abomination!" He then pointed towards a slightly deformed part of the cake no one would notice at first glance. "WHAT IS THIS INSULT TOWARDS THE CULINARY ART?! YOU WOMAN HAVE DISGRACED THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH YOUR HORRIFIC STUNT! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"
Ts'ai's rant began to sadden Mona. "I, I-I..." She then finally burst into tears and ran off, her sniffing sound being heard by everyone around, who were mostly disgusted by what Ts'ai said to poor Mona.
"W-What is wrong with you?!" Cabby asked in anger.
"YEAH! That's not nice!" Leafy added. "You're like, so mean! Not as mean as Jeffy, but still pretty mean!"
"You literally just brought a teenage or young adult girl to tears. You are heartless." Johnny bluntly said.
Ashley looked away, but still let out a little "Fuck off." with her lips.
"Ok, that was something. Team Rose is next, good luck." Gordman declared.
"They better be careful if they don't want to ruin my day any more than that whiny brat did." Ts'ai mouthed.
Dee Jay was actually a bit scared to show off his food. "A-Alright, m-mon. This is some bacon pancakes, how do they look?"
Ts'ai was naturally mad. "They look horrible! What kind of cook-"
Before he could continue verbal abuse, Bea had enough and punched him in the face. "YOU BASTARD! I COULD BARELY TOLERATE WHAT YOU'VE SAID BEFORE, BUT NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN DEMEAN MY FRIEND LIKE THAT AND PAY NO CONSEQUENCES?!"
Ts'ai, despite just being punched, didn't back off at all. "And who do you think you are? You chimps are just as aggressive as they say on the news!"
"WELL HOW ABOUT THIS FOR A REBUTTAL?! YOU'RE NOT A CRITIC, YOU'RE A HORRIBLE BULLY! YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TASTING THE FOOD, YOU JUST COME IN TO INSULT EVERYONE HERE AND ACT AS IF YOU'RE SOME ART EXPERT! WELL I HAD IT! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! FUCK RIGHT OFF!"
After the sheer rage she just released, Bea started to calm down. "L-Let this be a lesson to you, asshole." She said as she returned to her seat, everyone shocked at what just happened.
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Confessional: Nichelle
Nichelle: That...was...AWESOME! That guy just got totally owned for being so awful! Wait, that was Bea calling him out.
She then did a fake laugh.
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: Phew! Maybe I should just let out my emotions some more.
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Ts'ai, of course, didn't learn anything at all. "That chimp can say whatever she want, but in the end, this won't change a thing. 0/10!"
"Whatever, that was worth it Bea! You really showed him who's boss!" Amy congratulated Bea, who simply quietly smirked in the background.
"Well that was even more fun." Chris remarked. "As for the penultimate dish, we'll just settle for Team Pee Pee's cheese sandwich!"
Mr. Cheese heard that and was immediately mad. "What? You guys stole my work and cwaimed it as your own?! How dare you! Mr. Cheese is SUPER mad now!"
"Yeah! You don't get to, like, steal from like Mr. Cheese and get away with it!" LSP told Team Pee Pee.
Plankton came up with another plan. "Uh, he took it!" He then pointed towards Johnny. "He was the one to steal it! I saw him do it and he threatened to squash me if I refused!"
The team looked angry. "Johnny, seriously? I'm seriously disappointed in you!" Cordelia said.
"Yeah man, thought you were my best bud!" Brody confessed.
"I'm not your friend kid, and I didn't steal shit! Plankton's just lying out of his ass!"
Boba Fett then had a plan of his own. "Actually, I did see Johnny head to Team Rose's kitchen earlier. Didn't think much of it at the time, but now, it's pretty clear as to what his intentions were."
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Confessional: Plankton
Plankton: Yup. I certainly made a good decision to partner up with him! No one's suspectin' us in the slightest!
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"As much as I love the drama on this team." Chris said. "I want Mr. Ts'ai as soon as possible, so just feed him the sandwich and then argue please."
Gumshoe then went on to Mr. Ts'ai and gave him the sandwich.
"Very unfitting outfit for a server." He remarked as Gumshoe scowled.
"Fine pal, insult me all you want, but at least taste the meal we made for you!"
"I suppose I will, this looks halfway not revolting."
He took a little bite out of it.
"This is the-" Suddenly, Wen Ts'ai started to have trouble breathing, and then, he simply dropped dead on the floor, to everyone's confusion.
"I guess Mr. Ts'ai is dead." Chris declared, which caused the whole cast to celebrate.
"Take that, dead loser!" LSP said.
"The one person Death Pact A.G.A.I.N wouldn't try to save from death!" Pillow added.
"Usually I'll try to find out who did this, but this guy was such a douche I'll just let the killer off the hook for this!" Gumshoe remarked.
Chris decided to announce the results. "Team Cocoa actually got a score, so they win by default for once. And Team Pee Pee, due to poisoning our guest, you guys are...IMMUNE! Fuck that guy! Team Rose, you got a single 0/10, so you guys lose!"
Everyone on the team looked disappointed except Bea, who was smilling.
"But Donald died, so you don't have to vote someone off!"
"Who's Donald?" Amy asked.
"Ok, this was a crazy episode! Will Bea and Nichelle's rivalry finally end? Will Johnny still be hated by his team? And will more fodder characters get out? Find out next time on...
Total!
Drama!
Multiversal!
MADNESS!"
Man, this episode was REALLY quick to write. And a fun one as well. The only regret I had was forgetting to include a scene with an infamous Youtuber, but don't worry, that'll have to wait for next episode!
Be sure to leave a review and stuff.
Next episode is a truth and lies challenge.
Oh, and one of you guys could make a TV Tropes page or something.
Ciao!