And we're back!
Responses:
Luckyhill: Yeah Frisk was only picked as fodder, I think that was obvious given I never gave him(?) any screentime.
1602Jaw: Thanks I guess.
"Last time on Total Drama Multiversal Madness! We had a challenge that existed for the sole purpose of humiliating our dumbass campers! I did a little trolling by giving that bitch Nichelle a mental breakdown for being annoying to get her out, which instead caused her to begin her lesbian awakening...somehow.
28 are left, which by the way, is the same amount or more of the starting rosters of fanfictions such as: Total Drama Infinite, Bon Voyage, Superstars (fuck that one), Tyranny Of The Masses, Everything 1, 2 & 3, The Fantastic Don House, Characters Do Challenge And Things, Epic Character Elimination Reboot 3 times in a row, The Static Serene Game Show, Forest Campgrounds, X-Way Presents: Misfits Fight, (update:multiverse), Total Crossover Battle: Mystery Box, Universe, Upsilon's Really Awesome & Dumb Voting, Endless, Timescape, A Chaotic Cartoon Crossover, Cruis'n, Battle For Total Drama: A Total Drama Crossover Story, Jumbled, Nirvana, The Spectacular Blaineley Show, Cosmopolitan Island, Neo, CYOC Island, Total Stuffed Fluffled Island Season 1, Randomness, Ultimate Crossover etc.
And do you wanna know how many have actually FINISHED their run?"
Chris then counts that with his fingers. "Fucking 9! And most of these are barely at the start! Whatever through, because MY show is onto the ninth episode! Will we get cancelled before the double digit mark? Probably, but might as well try to find out anyway by watching
Total!
Drama!
Multiversal!
MADNESS!"
Episode 9: Ending The Bea-F
We open the episode with Cabby going about her day. She was going through the forest, checking every nook and cranny of it to write in her file.
"Hmmm, it seems that all I have left to look at is the thorny bushes. Better make sure to hurry before the breakfast as well, a hungry mind is not a good mind." She muttered to herself.
Cabby then heard a voice from the distance. "Hey Cabby, what's up pal?"
That was Gumshoe, who ran up to Cabby quite quickly. "Oh, detective, didn't see you there. What exactly brings you here?"
"I hope I won't offend you miss, but what is exactly is up with those "memory issues" of yours? Again, I'm sorry if I offend you."
Cabby takes a deep sigh. "You know what Gumshoe? Since the cat's already out of the bag, I'll explain it: Since the moment I was born, I've had an undiagnosed mental illness that causes me short term memory loss. It's not exactly consistent. One day I forget about what meal I had at breakfast, then it could take as little as a day later to as long as months for me to not be able to recognize my own friends. This is why I use my files, though unfortunately, a lot of my early life has been lost forever, I struggle to remember even my parents."
"That's, uh, that's bad pal! I'm sorry for your state, not everyone's birth is sunshine & rainbows unfortunately." Gumshoe said with a sympathetic frown.
"You don't need to be sorry detective, I've long since accepted it and have continued to live with it. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have revealed it even if it was for a challenge." Cabby explained.
"Oh, but still, I feel for you pal. You're a really nice lady, and I don't want you to feel bad like Leafy does." He says.
"Thank you for the concern Gumshoe. I suppose we should go to the mess hall, right?"
"Yeah, I'm starving! And considering I live off instant noodles that's really saying something pal!"
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Confessional: Cabby
Cabby: If I want to make it further into this game, an alliance partner is a good start. Gumshoe is already someone I'd consider a friend, so I'll say that's already taken care of. The next one should be looking into who on my team is allied with who.
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Nichelle was still sitting in her bed, even after everyone else was leaving. She was facing the wall and not saying anything, her mind having all kinds of thoughts about yesterday. This didn't last long however, as she was soon approached by her rival, Bea.
"Having trouble right now? You need to get up if you don't want to starve yourself." She said.
"Don't talk to me!" Nichelle replied with an angry tone. "Let me suffer in peace!"
"Funny you say that, considering you were practically looking for ways to taunt me before. Yet despite that, I pity you somewhat. Here you are, a laughingstock to everyone, that's awful isn't it? You can always try to-"
"I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME!"
Bea, rather than get yelled at more, gave in and left. "Fine, if you say so, bitch."
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: My opinion on Nichelle is...complicated, to say the least. I want to see her ego get crushed, but I also want to have her improve her attitude. Right now, neither is happening.
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Confessional: Nichelle
Nichelle: If I'm being honest, I'm not even sure what my opinion on Bea is anymore! As much as I hate her, she still saved me last night, a-and her calling me a bitch really hurt!
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Mr. Cheese invited Pillow to the beach to discuss strategy. When he arrived, Pillow was busy staring at the sun.
"Uh, Pillow, why are you destroying your eyesight?" He asked in confusion.
"Oh that? I was just pleasuring my eyeballs after watching SSSniperwolf!" Pillow responded.
"Okay? Whatever, today, I cawwed you for some good ol' alliance talk."
"I totally forgot about it since the writer didn't mention it past the last five episodes and treated me like a crazy simp and for nothing else!"
"You're weirder than me Pillow. Anyway, besides Player, you think there's anyone else on the team tryin' to take me out?"
"I dunno. Homer & LSP are super loyal, I can assure you that! Ash & Connor are minor characters so we don't need to worry about them, and Sonic is a true wild card. His loyalties lie in who's got more chili dogs. I bought a whole box of them through amazon, so he's no biggie."
"Interesting analysis, though mine is better: Anyone who doesn't treat Player like trash is a treat, so Connor & Sonic are high on my priority list."
"Uh, Our Lord & Savior Cheese, don't you think it's better to eliminate Player first? Studies show that a Total Drama villain's chances of making it far go significantly up if you get rid of likeable characters early on." Pillow reminded him.
"Eh, tormenting him is more fun! Besides, the whole team loves me! I'm the MVP!"
"Sure you are, Mr. Cheese."
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Confessional: Mr. Cheese
Mr. Cheese: Pillow's quite the wildcard, that's for sure. But Mr. Cheese has got the rest of his stupid team to use as a crutch, so don't expect Player to ever have fun around here ever!
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Confessional: Pillow
Pillow: Hey guys! Watch this!
Pillow then pulls out a gun.
Pillow: Pretty cool right? Murdering people is so much easier when guns are easily available like in America!
She then shoots the camera.
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At the mess hall, Toby Queef was selling around drugs to various contestants.
"Come 'ere for Toby Queef's True American Blue Shit! At a discounted price of 12,99$ instead of 1000$! Except for 'em black folks, they get it for free so they can OD 'n shit!" He loudly announced to everyone.
During this, Boba Fett glared at Banban.
"What? Sure it's illegal, but no one's calling the police on us!" He explained.
Leafy grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a very large number on it. "Alrighty then Mr. Queef, here's 1 Vigitillion dolars for a single batch of that fine sugar!"
"Holy fuckamole, that's more than 5 dollars! I could buy like 3 TVs with that shit! Here, take mah entire stock!" Toby Queef then gave Leafy all of his drugs, and the Leafster instantly swallowed them all whole.
"Hey!" Johnny yelled. "I was gonna buy some of that!"
Leafy made a scowling face. "Nah-uh! Mean people don't get desserts, and you sir are pretty mean!"
"Uh, Leafy, I'm pretty sure that wasn't a dessert, or e-even food at all." Cabby told her.
"Why would I listen to a mean person like you? You're evil Cabby! E-V-I-L!"
Gumshoe was pissed. "HEY! Don't talk to her like that! She's done nothing bad to you!"
"And why are you so set on defending her? You're not my pal anymore Gumshoe!"
Cabby tried to defuse the situation. "Everyone, please, try to calm down. Fighting like this won't help anyone!"
Before the situation could escalate any further, the intercom announcing the challenge played as usual, though a little different this time.
"Wassup sexy bitches challenge is ready 4 lunch now go now or get rekt bitch!" Swag's voice said before Chris took over. "Not cool dude! Go sit in the timeout corner for that!"
"Anyways, yeah, do what he says and go to the fucking challenge, okay?"
"Of course, the challenge is announced during the most convenient of times." Ashley remarked.
"Eh, I'll describe it more as a cheap ending when the author doesn't know how to properly end a scene." Banban said.
"Mon, I still don't understand half the things you're ever saying." Dee Jay confessed. "But whatever, let's go."
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Confessional: Leafy
Leafy is seen holding her "niceness chart" and crosses out Cabby's name and putting her in the lowest possible tier.
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Confessional: Homer Simpson
Homer: How do you breathe again?
Homer then starts suffocating.
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We were now at the challenge site once more.
"Welcome campers! Now, before we start the challenge, I'd like to do this." Chris says as he pulls out a gun and shoots Gumshoe.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! HOLY FUCK PAL, WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"Oh my god! Why did you do this to him?!" Mona asked in shock as she went to Gumshoe and tried to help him.
"I got these bullets on sale so I'm getting my money's worth. Plus, he seems like the best fit for the role of the character who gets tortured the entire season."
"Why are we even shocked by this point? I think we've already seen how depraved Chris is by now." Player pointed out.
"Pretty much." Sanders added.
"Whatever. Today's challenge is another judging contest."
"Wow, how original." Ashley snarked. "Next up we'll have another truth or lies challenge right?"
"Does it look like I give a shit? Judge, it's your que to appear!"
Out of the blue entered the poorly scribbled & racist Yellow Face from all the way back in episode 6.
"Hey guys! Name's Yellow Face. I make cool commercials for even cooler products! Now, I'm currently on vacation so I won't do ads, and you guys will make some for me instead, ok?"
"Yeah, what he said." Chris told everyone.
"Wait, didn't we see this guy back in the ebola challenge?" Sonic remembered.
"We sure did. I thought Yellow Face's racism would've helped us get rid of all that melanin, but he shut the door down before we could've extracted his blood." Pillow explained.
"Uh, Pillow, objects don't bleed." Yellow Face corrected her. "But hey, on the bright side, you guys aren't black anymore! That's the third worst color, right below pink and purple of course!"
Bea glared at him. "Chris, why are you bringing along another bigoted guest? Maybe this one will die too."
"No it's fine, none of you are purple anyway, that's the color which really grinds my gears!"
"So yeah, y'all heard the yellow fella. Make some ads that we can use in commercials or something now!"
Johnny, naturally, was the first to come up with an idea. "Guys, I'm literally an actor, if anyone's gonna have some involvement in filming a commercial, it's gotta be me! I can also direct this shit, cuz I've always wanted to make my own movie one day!"
"And why should we listen to you, thief?!" Leafy asked him.
"Even though Johnny may or may not have stolen an item a few episodes ago, I think it's best we trust him. It's not like any of us have any film making experiences." Cabby explains.
"See? File Cabinet gets it!"
"Also, is anyone a little worried about Gumshoe?" Cordelia asks as she points to the detective, who was still lying in pain.
Ashley steps in and pulls out her wand. "Relax, I'll fix him in no time." She then says some latin shit and Gumshoe's back to normal.
"W-Where's the bullet? Am I ok now?"
"No, you've got cancer now." Ashley sarcastically responds.
"OH MY GOODNESS PAL! THAT'S EVEN WORSE!"
"Sarcasm is indeed worse than slowly bleeding out from a gunshot." Ashley casually said. "Anyway, can Johnny just start the production or what?"
"Fine. First up, we'll need to assign roles for our production crew. Cordelia, since you're a hottie and one of the few normal looking people on our team if you don't count that stupid armor, you'll be one of our actors."
"M-Mr. Cage, while I do appreciate the compliment, It's not a good idea to insult most of the team like that." Cordelia tells him.
"Pfft, whatever! He's right on the money about us being weirdos, and even if you're offended, he's probably going next anyway!" Plankton says.
"Ok Plankton, since you're so smart, you should make our set, right little guy?"
"I would like if instead of "little guy" you'd call me an EVIL GENIUS!"
"I sure hope you're being hyperbolic." Cordelia mutters.
"Cordelia, stop being a pussy. But regardless, here's some more roles: Ashley will bring in our product with her magic, Cabby & Gumshoe will do research, Mona will do the costumes in addition to being an actress."
Mona squealed at that thought. "Oh, that's so nice of you Johnny! Finally, a way to show off my artistic passion!"
"Good for you I guess. Leafy & Jeffy would review the footage and Brody can suck my dick."
This made Brody sad. "C'mon dude, what did I do wrong?"
"You're an obnoxiously stupid mexican piece of shit who always bothers me."
"What's a mexican?" Brody asked. "Is it some kind of political ideology?"
Johnny facepalmed.
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Confessional: Brody
Brody: Oh wait, mexican is my racial identity! Not sure if that makes it better or worse though.
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Confessional: Johnny Cage
Johnny: If I win this one for my team, they'll forgive me for supposedly stealing something without much of a fuss!
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Sanders heard what Johnny was planning and decided to copy his ideas for her team. "Guys, since Nichelle's an actress, maybe we can have her-" But before she could finish what she was saying, Nichelle fled the vicinity with a tearful expression. "-Great. I guess she won't help."
"That's very worrying, considering her breakdown yesterday. I'll go look for her." Bea said as she ran to where Nichelle went.
"Well at least that's 2 less black people to have to deal with!" Toby Queef noted. "Especially since it's two gay black people!"
"Mr. Queef, I would very much appreciate if it if you didn't assume the sexuality of two girls no older than 18." Dee Jay told him.
"Shut up ni-"
"Guys!" Banban yelled. "Why don't we make a commercial about the Garten Of Banban games? That would be based as hell!"
"I mean, apparently Cream likes them, so I suppose we do." Amy says. "But let's keep it a little PG, ok?"
"What exactly does PG mean?" Boba Fett asked.
"It means Penis is Gay!" Toby Queef claims.
Amy of course smacks him with a hammer. "There's a kid here you weirdo! And I don't want Cream's mother to see her child learn such vulgar words on TV!"
"Fuck you-" He then got hit with a hammer again.
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Confessional: Toby Queef
Toby Queef: Honestly, I should've gone to Russia and killed some Slavs than been on this show made for faggots!
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Confessional: Boba Fett
Boba Fett: On one hand, being on a team of idiots works great for my game. On the other hand, my goodness can it be exhausting at times.
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Team Cocoa were currently trying to come up with an idea for an ad.
"Alrighty team, what shall we do for this challenge whilst I sleep?!" Homer asked as he yawned.
"Kill Homer?" Pillow casually suggested.
"If I'm being honest that doesn't sound as bad as it should." Sonic said.
Player decided to help out. "Guys, let's think logically. What would be a good add?"
"A campaign video for me?" Connor said. "That way, millions of Americans would be forced to watch it when they wouldn't want to and be exposed by my natural charisma to vote for me!"
"Connor are you, like, retarded?" LSP bluntly asked him.
"Dad used to call me that all the time, so maybe yes."
"Connor, that's messed up." Player told him. "If my own dad used such words to describe me, I'd likely have cut him off by now."
"You get used to it. No one's ever treated me seriously, so why should I care what they say about me?"
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Confessional: Player
Player: Wow, me and Connor have a lot more in common than I'd like to admit.
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Confessional: Mr. Cheese
Mr. Cheese: Man, Connor's such a jerk for trying to steal the spotwight from me!
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"Ah, no. Sounds stupid. Let's do a commercial about Mr. Cheese!" Mr. Cheese exclaimed.
"Narcissism, much?" Sonic asked.
"HEY! He's my idol so let him do what he wants!" Homer shouted at Sonic.
"Guys, guys, guys, I got an idea that doesn't involve killing!" Pillow said.
"What is it?" Connor asked.
"We can make a Yoylecake and than do a commercial! And I know exactly how to get ingredients!" Pillow then takes out a phone.
We now cut to a living McDonalds fries box on a field.
Fries-The Alleged Cannibal (Battle For Dream Island)
Fries heard his phone ringing and picked up to see who it was. "Yeah, who is it?"
"Hey Fries, it's me Pillow. I want to bake some Yoylecake but don't have any ingredients. can you help me with that?"
"Sure thing." Fries said as he literally crossed the line separating him and Pillow. "What a bunch of circus freaks!"
"Hey! I'm not a circus, I'm just a clown!" Homer complained.
"Whatever." Fries said as he took out a shovel. "Get digging Homer, the ingredients are probably underground."
Homer dug up a hole.
"Get digging Pillow, the ingredients are probably underground."
Pillow dug up a hole.
"Get digging Ash Ketchum, the ingredients are probably underground."
Ash dug up a hole.
"Get digging Connor Roy, the ingredients are probably underground."
Connor dug up a hole.
"Get digging Mr. Cheese, the ingredients are probably underground."
Mr. Cheese dug up a hole.
"Are you just able to telepathically tell people to dig or something?" Player asked.
"Get digging Player, the ingredients are probably underground."
Player dug up a hole.
"Get digging LSP, the ingredients are probably underground."
LSP dug up a hole.
"Get digging Sonic The Hedgehog, the ingredients are probably underground."
Sonic dug up a hole.
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Confessional: Fries
Fries: This place is disgusting! Who is running this stupid island anyway?! That bossy bot Golf Ball?!
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Cabby was looking over at Johnny's demands for the script and was shocked at his ideas.
"Wait, you want to do what to Brody?!"
"It's just as it says dumbass. Look, this is my directorial debut, I need full creative control, okay? So don't try to question it."
"I don't know about that. What if they disqualify us for being too mature enough?"
"They literally showed off a dead body on live TV, I don't see how that's worse."
"Fair point."
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Confessional: Johnny Cage
Johnny: Watch out Brody boy, for you'll want for us to be separated by a wall!
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Banban was in the midst of explaining to his actors what they should do.
"Alright guys, so when Toby Queef comes into view, you guys immediately run from him and scream "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! RACISSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" or something like that, got it?"
We then cut to Sanders and Dee Jay rolling their eyes.
"Can we just live our lives without our races being constantly mentioned?" Sanders complained. "Seriously, it's annoying."
"Exactly mon."
"Hey, I promise there won't be any more racist jokes when Queef's gone." Banban said as he pointed towards Toby Queef, who was scratching his ass.
"Man oh man, I sure hope no smelly gay hippie approaches me right 'bout now." Toby Queef loudly said.
Naturally, he was approached by some random hippie. "Yo dude, peace and love 'n shit! Name's Steve Gay, but most people call me Fuckadoodle cuz I fuck people a lot and give them AIDS! Wanna have-"
Before the hippie could do hippie stuff though, Toby Queef used his gigantic ass to crush his skull. He landed on him, which caused the hippie's body to become nothing but red mush. He also farted for good measure.
"Ah, much better!" He declared as the other 3 people with him had horrified looks on their faces.
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Confessional: Sanders
Sanders: Yeah, I really shouldn't have signed up here.
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Mona and Cordelia were in the cabin, with the former preparing the latter for a little makeover.
"Alright girl, we're going to make a fabulous modern dress for you! Got an idea for color, or or the fabric?" Mona asked.
"To be perfectly clear Mona, I honestly don't care. I'm just here to win the challenge, so do what you want to do." Cordelia responded.
"Can you at least tell me your shoe size or height?"
"What?"
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Confessional: Mona
Mona: Cord may not exactly be aware of current fashion trends, but her pretty face can work on all sorts of dresses!
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Confessional: Cordelia
Cordelia: It's a shame I likely won't get to see dresses like the ones Mona makes, but such is the way of life.
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Bea was still chasing after Nichelle, due to being concerned about her mental state. She sees Nichelle stopping to sit on a random tree stump and tries to observe her from a bush. Nichelle does...nothing, just staring at nothing, saying nothing.
She decided to get out of there before a certain voice stopped her. "I know you're here already, so come out of there."
Bea was surprised by that and got out of the bush. "...Okay. Are you alright? I'm...worried about you."
Nichelle began to cry. "About me? Why do you care about me? Why did you save me last elimination? I've been nothing but a complete bitch for these past few weeks, so WHY?!"
"Be-Because, to put it simply, that breakdown you had was just awful. Even if I hated you, you still deserve some sympathy."
Nichelle wiped her tears. "E-Even after all this?"
"I guess so, c'mon, vent how much you want."
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: I want to have an open mind on things, so that's why I'd listen to her so please, don't disappoint me.
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"When that incident happened in my first season, I became a complete laughing stock for lying about doing my own stunts, so I trained hard to be as badass as I made myself out to be before, but even then no one took me seriously!" Nichelle began. "I thought that, if I showed off how awesome I am to everyone, that I would finally be respected."
"So this whole arrogant demeanor of yours is simply insecurity?"
Nichelle quietly nodded.
"Thought so. And your hatred towards me?"
"J-Jealousy. Yeah, just that. You're actually pretty cool, I was just too much of a bitch to admit-"
"Don't say that! Your past behavior wasn't the most adequate, but if this is how you really feel like, I do think there's a potential redemption in there."
"Re-Redemption? For me?"
"Yes, but acknowledging your flaws is only the first step. Then you'll have to deal with and potentially overcome your flaws."
"B-But what if I can't do that alone?"
"Then I'll help you." Bea said as she started to hug Nichelle. "And Dee Jay as well."
Nichelle's face turned red, or at least as red as someone of her skin tone could be, as she pulled her hands out as well. "T-Thank you so, so much!"
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Confessional: Nichelle
Nichelle: I've got a lot to think about right now, but first and foremost, I'm actually glad me and Bea came to an understanding! That girl who I kept insulting gave me more affection in one hug than my shitty parents did my entire life! Another hug would be good as well, maybe even a kiss-wait, what did I just say?
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: Well that's one worry off my chest. Now I can focus on the game.
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Plankton was anxiously waiting for his 2 allies to return from the ad production. "C'mon c'mon, what's taking so long?! Evil plans work better when there's 3 instead of 1! Why else do I always fail to get Mr. Krabs' secret formula?!"
2 allies did return, but not the allies he wanted.
"Yo Plankton, what's up?" Banban greeted as he and Boba Fett walked in.
"Huh? Who are you again?" Plankton asked in confusion.
Banban cried. "You don't know about the Garten Of Banban games? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"He's my alliance mate on my team, remember?" Boba Fett responded.
"Oh him? I kinda forgot he existed since we've never talked that much."
Banban stopped crying. "I'm still sad by the way, it's just that I already sweat so much daily making Garten Of Banban stuff I barely have enough water to cry! Anyways, I wanted to ask about your opinion on the commercial I just made!"
He gave Plankton his phone to look at the video. Plankton watched the first 0.00001 seconds of it, turned it off and threw the phone in Banban's face. "Pretty good, just give it a purple filter and you're golden!"
"Got that boss! Purple filter and it's done!" Banban declared as he ran off to edit his video.
"I smell something fishy going on." Boba Fett said. "Are you, perhaps, trying to get my ally out?"
"Maybe really it all depends on how good you are at keeping him around! If you get rid of any particularly dangerous threat, I'll be doing you a favor! But if you don't, oh well, not my fault!"
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Confessional: Boba Fett
Boba Fett: Plankton's ego seems to be able to make him do irrational and self sabotaging decisions, such as screwing over his own teammates. I'll let him pass here, but if he tries it again, our partnership is over.
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Mona was finally done with dressing up Cordelia and herself and was ready to come out the cabin.
"Guys, come see us!" She yelled, which attracted her teammates.
Mona was the first to come out. She wore a white dress and her normal red boots, along with her hair being put into a ponytail as she exited the cabin like a model.
This attracted the hornyness of Jeffy. "Oh my diaper, hot ginger ass is on the loose! Wanna see my pee pee?"
Ashley quickly slapped Jeffy. "Don't talk to a woman like that again."
"But what about nonbinaries?"
"I give up." Ashley admits.
"Oh man, it would've been so good to get noticed by anyone other than him!" Mona complained. "Oh well, Cords, come out girl! Show 'em how much you rock that dress!"
Cordelia, somewhat awkwardly, begins to get out the cabin, showing she clearly has never walked in heels before, as she could barely show off her beautiful red dress as her heel broke and she fell over.
Mona grabbed her head in embarrassment. "Uh, oops?"
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Confessional: Cordelia
Cordelia: I suppose I'm just not cut out for the fashion world, maybe Sumia or Olivia would be more interested.
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Chris decided to check on Team Cocoa due to seeing them dig dirt for some reason.
"Alright what you morons are up to-JESUS CHRIST!"
We then cut to the giant hole they dug up at the psychological orders of Fries. "YOU MADE A HOLE THE SIZE OF THE FUCKING ATLANTIC!"
Player noticed that. "Wait what? How did we even do that? I don't remember digging out anything."
"Maybe Fries is just able to make us dig up a hole against our will?" Homer proclaimed.
"That was my second guess, surprisingly." Sonic snarked.
"Who the fuck is this Fries fag? I've got no idea who he is but I already want to dismember him!" Chris claimed.
"You don't know who I am? More people watched BFDI than the Total Drama Reboot, probably." Fries said as he appeared out of nowhere.
"Y-YOU! Interns, get his ass out ASAP!"
Guard Chris and Swag appeared and started to prepare the Fist Thingy of Despair.
"Wait!" Fries yelled as he took out a shovel. "Christopher Gordman and Swagmaster6969696969, get digging! The ingredients are probably-" Before he could finish, he got hit by the Fist Thingy of Despair. "UNDERGROOOOOOUUUUUUUNNDDDDDDD!"
"You really should start getting better security boss." Guard Chris said. "And maybe a restraining order for Sonic towards Swag."
"Fuck you bro I do what I want! Now gimme some booty Sonic!"
"Oh goodness." Sonic claimed as he ran off at super sonic speed.
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Confessional: Sonic
Sonic: What is it about me that attracts so many weirdos? First there's Amy, then Chris Chan, then this guy!
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Bea and Nichelle finally returned to their team, and were actually ok with being around each other for once.
"Took long enough for you two to return, we're already done with filming and Banban's doing a little post production right now." Sanders told them.
Bea was the one to talk. "Sorry to talk about that. Me and Nichelle had a talk about our little rivalry, and I can confidently say we've managed to bury the hatchet."
"Yup. I've promised to try to be nicer from now on, m'kay?" Nichelle said.
"Good to know you girls finally made up mon!" Dee Jay congratulated them. "C'here, let good ol' Dee Jay give ya a hug!"
The two girls were held tightly by him, with Nichelle very briefly blushing at feeling Bea's skin.
"I feel like I'm about to choke!" Nichelle muttered.
"You'll get used to it."
After they were done with filming the commercial, Johnny & Cordelia went out to celebrate by eating in the mess hall.
Johnny sat down.
"You ever accidentally masturbate to pictures of your future daughter who came into the past when you had just started sharing the bed with her dad?" Cordelia asked.
"Who the fuck starts a conversation like that?! I just sat down!" Johnny said.
"What, have you never met your future daughter?"
"No and I never will retard!"
"That's rude."
Since Team Cocoa did nothing but dig the whole challenge, they were basically scrambling what to do.
"Crap, what are wanna do?" Player said worryingly. "The other teams have likely all done their commercial by now and we don't even have our product!"
"What even is our product? We've got literally like nothing!' LSP claimed.
"We do have a product!" Pillow said as she came in with a big, colorful cake. "It's Yoylecake, and before Homer tries to eat it, I'll just say it's plastic."
"D'oh!" Homer yelled in disappointment. "Actually, now that I think about, plastic doesn't sound so bad."
"So all that digging was really for nothing, huh?" Sonic asked himself. "I suppose we just rush filming and hope the other teams suck more."
"That wouldn't have happened if you guys made a commercial for Mr. Cheese!"
"Absolutely!" Homer proclaimed.
The air horns started ringing as loud as possible to signify the end of the pre judging stuff.
"Campers, it's time for the judging by our guest Yellow Face! If you haven't made a commercial, well, go fuck yourself." Chris's voice said.
"Johnny, can you at the very least show us the content of your commercial?" Cabby asked him.
"What? No! I don't want anyone to view my masterpiece until it's time for it!"
Brody joined in. "Is it because you-"
"Shut up and clean my toilet you dumbfuck immigrant." Johnny plainly said to him, which made Brody sad.
"I suppose you do as you wish." Cabby said as she left for the challenge.
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Confessional: Mona
Mona: Johnny hasn't allowed anyone to see the commercial he made, but considering what Brody told me, it won't be pretty.
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Everyone was now at the stage they used back in season 1, but more crappy (I.E. rusted and with dozens of cracks everywhere) than before, with Yellow Face having his own bench that was facing towards it.
"Oh am I so excited to start rating these wonderful ads!" Yellow Face proclaimed with his usual cheery tone.
"That's if they actually made ads!" Chris told him. "But luckily, they did! Which team would want to go first?"
Pillow raised her hand, much to the chagrin of her teammates. "We've already gotten first before, so why not now?"
"Don't remind me Pillow. We're probably going to fail because of you anyway." Player claimed.
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Confessional: Mr. Cheese
Mr. Cheese: Pwayer is actually right for once. Pillow pretty much destroyed our chances of winning by calling McDonalds. KFC is better!
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Pillow got onto the stage and introduced herself. "Hey everyone. My name is Pillow, former death preventer, current death causer. For this here ad, I decided to advertise my country's native yoylecake!" She then pulls out a recorder. "Here! Let's see!"
The video starts playing.
We're in the middle of the woods with Mr. Cheese and Player being there.
"What are our lines again?" Player asked, not noticing he's being filmed.
"Make stuff up. The integrity will nab us a few extra points." Pillow, who was the one filming them, responded.
"Uh, ok then. H-Hi, I'm Player, you may know me from the popular Gametoons channel, where they make animated parodies of various video games-"
"Oh my Cheddar Pwayer that sucked! Let me do it for you!" Mr. Cheese said. "Hi, my name Mr. Cheese, and even though it ain't got cheddar, Yoylecake is pretty good."
Player was not impressed. "That's it?"
"Yeah, we're 1 minute away from getting judged so we might as well rush it." Mr. Cheese explained. "And make sure to buy my shirts at Gametoons dot com!"
"Fanfiction dot net doesn't even allow you to add dot com stupid." Pillow reminded him. "But other than that, I think it's a wrap!"
Everyone started laughing at Team Cocoa, including Homer, at how shitty their commercial was.
"Oh my god, that was hilarious, and I don't even believe in god!" Chris muttered as he giggled at their failures. "Judge, what are your thoughts?"
"Hmmm, I'll give it a 6/10!" Yellow Face said after a bit of thinking, which shocked EVERYONE but Pillow.
"Wha? WHAT THE FUCK! Are you retarded yellow face?!" Chris asked, perplexed.
"I have to agree with him on this one. That commercial was horrible!" Player admitted.
Pillow then pulls out an AK-47. "You were saying?"
Player was scared. "T-That it was great! No questions asked!"
"Anyway, the reason why I gave them such a high score is because of your integrity! No corporation could produce something as this in this day and age!"
"First off, you're corporate yourself." Sonic began. "Second, this is just garbage."
Yellow Face gasped. "You don't know anything!" He then returned to his usual chippy demeanor. "But enough about that. Chris! Show me what the other teams have in store for me in more ways than one!"
"Okay okay. Team Pee Pee, you guys go next I guess. About high time you lost."
"Hey! That's not nice!" Leafy protested. "In fact, that's mean!"
"Ignoring her." Johnny muttered. "Time for you guys to check out my passion project baby!"
We see two women played by Mona and Cordelia talking about shoes like every other dumb slut (which is ironic since Cordelia isn't wearing shoes due to what happened earlier).
"Those shoes are like, slay!" Cordelia said in the most pathetic attempt at imitating a valley girl accent. "But not as like slay as like Johnny like Cage!"
"I know right? I just wanna give him a blowjob and a handjob at the same time!" Mona said, clearly holding back laughter.
"BOO! I hate Johnny Cage!" Brody came in just to say that, not dressed up at all other than a fake moustache and a sombrero. "I'm mexican, so it's white woman raping time!"
Brody took his pants off as the two women screamed in terror at his small weiner.
Johnny Cage comes into view and says "Relax girls, I'll take him on!"
We then cut to Johnny doing to Brody a whole hour of CBT. It is so horrific that I recommend just looking up the Wikipedia article for Cock and Ball Torture instead to get the jist.
After Johnny was done with what he was doing, he got some mad pussy as the two women took their clothes off and kissed him.
"I guess you can say he just got caged!"
We then cut to an advertisement that was basically him begging Hollywood to give him roles.
Everyone was left speechless again.
Cabby was the one to break the silence. "That was your script?! Johnny Cage, you are one sick man!"
"That was what he was doing? I thought it was kinda hot." Brody noted.
Mona was the one disgusted most by this. "Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing! My parents are gonna be so mad at me when I get home, and all because of you!"
Johnny didn't understand why everyone was mad at him. "What I'd do wrong? I was just making a commercial, and I thought it was pretty good."
"We'll see what the judge has to say about it." Chris tells him.
"Hmmm, I give it a 3/10! The set pieces were ok, but the script was as shallow as your average Gametoons episode, and as explicit as your average Cougar Macdowall Va comic dub!"
"Truer words have never been spoken." Guard Chris said. "Now excuse me as I'll go kill myself."
"Ooh, Chris, can I help?" Swag asked as he followed Guard Chris.
"No you retard, I want to go out on my own terms, not having my bussy posthumously touched by you!"
"God that video gave me depression, can we just end this shit now?!" Chris demanded. "Team Rose will probably do worse for suspense purposes but idgaf!"
Banban came into the stage (not like that). "Alright guys, get ready to view my magnum opus!"
We see Sanders and Dee Jay getting chased by Toby Queef and his van, with him dressed up in a KKK hood and a t-shirt that said "BLM is AIDS" on it to drive home the point. The video also has a random purple filter.
"GET OUTTA MAH COUNTRY BLACK PEOPLE!" Queef yelled.
We then cut to Banban who pulls out his android phone (which is better than IOS) and shows the app Garten OF Banban on Google Play. "Wanna know what can stop racism? Garten of Banban of course!"
He then opens the app and out of it comes out Jumbo Josh.
Jumbo Josh brah-The Indie Horror Icon (Garten Of Banban brah)
"I'm Jumbo Josh brah, from Indie Horror Garten of Banban brah!" Jumbo Josh from Indie Horror Garten Of Banban said before he grabbed Toby Queef's van, lightly touching it, which causes it to explode in shitty effects. "We solved racism brah! By using Indie Horror Garten Of Banban brah!"
"See? I'm Banban, and go play Garten of Banban right now! Available on PC and mobile for the low low price of a single pancreas!"
Banban's video got a clap from everyone.
"WOOOOOOOOOOO Baby!" Chris yelled. "That's what I've been waiting for, that's what it's all about, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I must say Banban, you've really outdone yourself here." Boba Fett admitted.
"Best fuckin' thing to happen to America since we butt fucked Iraq!" Toby Queef added.
"Thanks guys! I never thought I'd be able to do a good commercial, but turns out I did!" Banban happily remarked. "What's our score anyway?"
"Well, this was the greatest ad I have ever-wait, is that?" Yellow Face rewinded the footage and came to a startling realization. "A PURPLE FILTER?! BLASHPHEMY! DEBAUCHERY! NEGATIVE INFINITE OUT OF 10!"
"Wait what?" Banban asked.
"You idiot, didn't you remember Yellow Face hates the purple color with a burning passion?!" Plankton told Banban, knowing full well he caused this.
"Oh c'mon! I actually did good in a challenge and this is how you repay me?! Screw all of you!'
"Whatever. I'll just tell my lawyers to buy the rights to the Yoylecake commercial with 1 vigintillion dollars! BYE!" Yellow Face said before manually dying somehow.
"Well guys, I think we should at least be grateful we're starting to lose less challenges." Connor said.
"Yeah, and it's all thanks to Mr. Cheese!" Mr. Cheese egotistically said.
"Can you tone it down the ego for once?!" Sonic angrily told him.
"Wait, you don't like Mr. Cheese?!" Homer asked him enraged. "Screw you!"
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Confessional: Mr. Cheese
Mr. Cheese: Alright, Sonic's the second biggest target on my team besides Player, might take him out next time we're UFE (that means up for elimination for you normies).
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Team Rose had arrived at elimination once again.
"Wow little roses, you've had 3 losses in a row, how tragic." Chris told them.
"Maybe if we had less black people on our team we'd do better!" Toby Queef ranted, which made the black players on his team glare at him.
"You're actual pure evil." Sanders said.
"All I heard 'bout now is you stealin' my fried watermelon!"
"We've already had enough racist jokes for today, so other Chris, do what you do and get on with it."
"Fine. Bea & Nichelle ran off and didn't help their team out at all today."
"Ok, for once, I'll admit that was a mistake and that we'd probably have won if I was-nevermind, I-I was just being arrogant again." Nichelle tried to defend herself.
"Character Development." Banban randomly said.
"And Banban, you added a purple filter for no reason even when you knew Yellow Face hates that color."
"C'mon guys, you wouldn't vote me for that right?"
"Maybe we will, but that's to be decided in the voting booth." Amy told Banban.
"Now that's done voting, I'm gonna reveal 'em votes:"
"Dee Jay"
"Cream"
"Amy"
"Sanders"
"Bea"
"Boba Fett"
"And Nichelle."
Nichelle wiped her sweat from her head. "Phew, good that I'm still here."
Banban & Toby Queef were the last ones left, with the former shaking in fear and the latter indifferent.
"Banban."
Banban fell to his knees and screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"You're safe with only 1 vote, so that means Toby Queef is eliminated with 8."
"Oh, cool." Banban said.
Toby Queef was voted. "You faggots voted for the Toby Queef?!"
Nichelle smirked. "Yeah we did, cuz you're a racist piece of shit!"
"Why I oughta blast ya!" Toby Queef lunged at her before Bea punched him in the face.
"...Shut up."
"T-Thanks Bea! That was so nice of you!"
"No need to thank me, just doing what was best."
"So they're cool now? Great, their arguing was always pretty annoying." Amy said.
We now cut to the dock, with Toby Queef being forcefully dragged by the guards.
"Any last words Queef?" Chris asked.
"Canada is gay and full of AIDS!"
"Thought so." Chris responded before the Fist Thingy of Despair hit Toby Queef and...didn't even manage to throw him to the sky, just the dock, with Queef's massive ass letting him float.
"Damn, can these people ever just go to the TLC of Shame?! Whatever. Since Toby Queef is gone for good, the racist jokes will be reduced to about 90% unfortunately. 9 people gone, 27 left to go. Find out who goes next on
Total!
Drama!
Multiversal!
MADNESS!"
Toby Queef kept floating until he hit something.
"Wha? Am I in heaven?! And please tell me they don't allow 'em Jews & Ayrabs in 'ere!"
"No, you are arive, and I am here to get you to herp me!" Said an asian guy.
We then pan to the boat, revealing it to be the asian guy from episode 6.
"DJ Not Nice? Haven't seen ya in a while, shouldn't you be makin' some fire mixtapes?"
"No. Ever since the totar drama contestants hit me in the ding dong, I have pranned to take my revenge from the shadows, and you wirr be my number #1 arry!"
"Well lookie here, sign me the fuck up!"
Toby Queef was always gonna be plain fodder, but the amount of characters I didn't know how to write spared him for a while, but now it's the end for his journey.
I made Johnny Cage racist towards mexicans because I literally couldn't find any other reason for him to hate Brody so much. Next time we'll have a double elimination as we reach a double digit number of episodes.
And one final thing.
Since I'm making a sequel in the near future, I've decided to reveal the newbies one by one. The first one will be someone you've already seen in a prior episode.
We cut to an evil looking lair where a bunch of crocodiles salute a familiar fat crocodile with a crown.
"Why hello there Total Drama producers! My name is King K. Rool, pronounced like Karule by the way, not Kay rule, the leader of the master species known as the Kremlings! Since your foolish contestants stole my precious Crystal Coconut, I've elected to enter this competition to take it back and crush whoever says otherwise!"
"Uh, boss, no offense, but telling them of your evil plans sounds kind of backwards."
"Backwards? THE ONLY THING THAT'S BACKWARDS IS YOUR INTELLIGENCE! NO ONE QUESTIONS MY OWN ORDERS BUT ME! Uh, anyway, put me onto your wretched show and my Kremlings will forever be indebted to you."