Here we are with the last pre merge chapter! I'm actually AMAZED I got this far! Now here's some reviews:
Luckyhill2: Glad you liked it.
G-man 2.0: Banban is too silly to fall~
StaticShow: Again glad you liked it.
Episode 16: Intimate Insanity
We're right where we left off last episode, with everyone confused at Captain's arrival.
"Hey best friend! I've been pretty lonely without you lately, so I decided to come down to Camp Wawanakwa and have some fun with my favorite person in the world!"
"Even more than your girlfriend?" Chris asked him. "I watched that show she was on, it was shit, believe me. Seriously, no wonder it's not getting a second season!"
"Wait, Dum was in another reality show?" Player wondered. "Maybe I should watch that, could be interesting."
"Don't." Connor suggested. "I saw it and let's just say it's very...uh, not very good, yeah."
"It was so awful that I DIDN'T want to kill everyone there." Pillow added.
"Ok ok can we now talk about the elephant in the room?" Player asked.
"Hey! I'm not fat Player!" Captain corrected.
"I didn't mean that."
"Anyways." Chris began. "I'll talk to the interns if we should allow him in, but for now, Team Cocoa can go rest until the next challenge."
"Fine, hopefully he doesn't." Player said.
"Why thank you sir! I promise that if I get in I'll be the best singer of the entire competition!"
"This ain't Masked Singer cap." LSP corrected him.
"And you literally competed in another season of Total Drama before this." Chris added.
"Oh, I already forgot about that!"
Everyone facepalmed themselves at what he said except Homer.
"Homer Simpson over here seems to be the only one not hating my presence." Captain notes. "Wanna be friends?"
"Sure!"
The two then do a gay friendship dance i dunno I'm fucking tired let's just transition to the next scene.
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Confessional: Player
Player: Ugh, and right when I got rid of Mr. Cheese, Captain just had to swoop in and ruin everything! Well, at least I'm gonna get some more respect from everyone from now on, hopefully.
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Confessional: Pillow
Pillow: Gosh, author, listen here, you're not Memeking The Third, you can't just add another character midway through for no reason in an already large cast and not be stupid! Readers, go read Total Drama Crossroads on AO3 instead, 'cause unlike Gooner Guy over here, the author actually knows how to write his cast! Anyway, bye, I'll be off killing people in Roblox instead of sleeping, like any normal woman.
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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe (& Caine)
Gumshoe: So you're basically saying that you're in my head now after you decided to escape Chris's computer by using me, right?
Caine: I said LITERALLY NOTHING but that is exactly true!
Gumshoe: Wow, alright then. Do you think there's any way to gain evidence against Chris pal?
Caine: Do we even need to? Bro has flirted with teenage girls as early as the first episode! What more do you need?
Gumshoe: That may be sus, but it's not lawsuit worthy pal.
Caine: What's a lawsuit?
Gumshoe: Ugh!
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We cut to the morning at Team Pee Pee, where Cabby noticed Gumshoe looks a little...disturbed, to say the least.
"Did something happen last night you detective? Because to me, it looks like you haven't slept at all!"
"Ah...it's nothing Cabby, nothing really, I swear. Just had some nightmares about...getting fired from work, that's all! Happens all the time!"
"Hmmm, yeah, sorry, but you're a terrible liar Gumshoe. You don't need to be afraid of me, whatever issue you have I wouldn't spill a thing about if it's what you want."
"But I DON'T have any problems pal, really! Nope, no problems at all!"
Cabby then backed off a little. "Alright then, sorry for bothering you.
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Confessional: Cabby
Cabby: Yeah, it's not rocket science to figure out our dear detective is hiding something, and I doubt it's anything good. For now I'll let it slide, and then try to ask him later when he's more comfortable.
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Plankton and the Team Pee Pee part of his alliance went over to meet their Team Rose equivalents in the woods, with Boba Fett in the sky looking to see if there were anyone snitching in on their private convo.
"Did you see anyone there?!" Amy asked.
"Not at all, coast is clear." Boba responded as he descended to the ground. "Now Plankton, what do you want to talk about?"
"Did you know the creator got not one but 2 characters in Total Drama Party? Gee, I wonder if that one is getting past the cast reveal!" Banban said.
"What?" Plankton went. "Anyway, we're very nearly in the merge right about now, and thus, our alliance is going to be finally able to FULLY work together and vote the opposition! So, in case either of our team loses, what's our plan?"
"Well here's the thing." Boba Fett began. "Bea, Dee Jay and Nichelle are all in an alliance and Sanders is currently the swing vote. We need to convince her to vote with us or else we're bound to lose a member."
"Interesting, we're basically in the same situation on our team, though to a lesser extent." Johnny said. "There's 3 people who are buds I suppose, and someone who just votes for herself for some reason, so yeah."
"Eh, it's nothin' too bad, y'all are just super paranoid you'll lose! Worst case scenario we get a tie, and we can proly win it, I mean, that file cabinet's a big ol' fatty, how can anyone not beat her?" Rotty tops added to the conversation.
"Darn, that's a little fatphobic don't you think?" Banban pointed out.
"That's literally a myth bro, you're prolly just mad people point out the obvious!" She fired back.
"WAAAAA! YOU'RE SO MEAN GREEN TITS!" Banban whined like a little fucking baby before running away like a little sissy baby.
"Weirdo." Plankton bluntly said.
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Confessional: Banban
Banban: Goodguygary also got 2 more characters for Total Drama Beach Resort, and hopefully it and Party actually frickin' starts! Hear me authors, hear me? Write your stories, you'll have a lot of fun doing that, just remember!
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Confessional: Rotty Tops
Rotty Tops: That guy's very fun to mess with, believe me! I'd wanna keep him to the final 2 just to have him bow down to me, hehe!
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Team Cocoa were eating at their table and talking about their situation.
"So now we're down to less than half our members, and someone new is gonna join the game, great." Player snarked. "And it's all thanks to you Pillow."
"Me? What did I do wrong?" She asked.
"Well you did kill off almost the entire team for basically no reason, but hey, no grudges." Connor said.
"You're one weird guy Connor." LSP added.
"Can say that about most of the team, no offense." Player told everyone.
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Confessional: Pillow
Pillow: Lots of offense taken.
Pillow pulls out a knife.
Pillow: Let's just say I've got a big hitlist when the merge comes.
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Then we focus on Team Rose as they watch Banban eat an entire mountain dew soda, and I don't mean drinking I mean literally eating the soda can.
"Man that was super delicious!" He muttered. "Anyone wanna try eating a soda can?"
"Uh..no thanks mon, I'm fine." Dee Jay replied. "I'm not hungry or thirsty right now."
"But I'm super hungry bro! I wanna eat something NOW!" Banban exclaims before he tries to eat a table he sees.
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Confessional: Dee Jay
Dee Jay: Weird, Banban's not usually THAT dumb, sorry let me rephrase that: THAT gluttonous!
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Meanwhile Johnny was reading Total Drama X-Way by the Supe Man when Rottytops burst into the room and whispered something to his ear.
"Korvo gets eliminated in episode 2 after destroying his team's bathtub~"
He proceeds to punch her head out.
"WHAT THE FUCK WOMAN?! I was just reading this thing and you HAD to ruin it! Sure it was the most objectively obvious first boot ever, but don't spoil it like that!"
"Says the guy written by the guy who just spoiled it to the person reading this!"
Johnny gives her the finger and proceeds to go cry like a little bitch.
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Confessional: Rotty Tops
Rottytops: Man, that was strange. I may be a spunky dead gal, but I'd NEVER spoil something! That's beyond evil!
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We cut to the challenge site where Chris was reading Total Drama Multiverse of The Island
"Mid mid MID! THIS IS MID! MID AS FUCK!" He then noticed everyone was there. "Oh, hi everyone! Didn't see you there."
"What were you doing?" Boba Fett asked.
"Nothing. Anyways, before the the challenge begins, I'd like to make a special announcement: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG IS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFU-wait a second!" Chris then took out a chip from his ear and crushed it under his foot. "Those two are getting a salary cut tomorrow, and by salary cut I mean their nuts! Here's the gist: some amogus guy is joining the game."
"Can I eat him?" Banban asked.
"After the challenge. Normally I'd reject him on sight and send him to Palestine to die, but since this I'll probably piss you off, I'm gonna let him in! Come on out you white dumbass!"
Captain then went in and greeted the contestants. "Hi fellow people that compete on crossover reality shows! I'm Captain, also known as Player's best friend!"
"I'm NOT your friend Captain!" Player told him.
"Yeah yeah yeah." Chris snarked. "Here's a little deal to make it more fair: Captain will be placed on his own solo team, and, if he doesn't get first place in the challenge, he will be out as soon as he started!"
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Confessional: Player
Player: YES! YEAHHHHHHHHH!
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"Huh, that doesn't sound so bad." Captain remarked. "Can I name my team?"
"Yup. Choose whatever name you want."
"Alright then! I want to name my team Crewmates 2.0!"
"That's cringe, so no. Pick something else."
"Then I guess I choose Team Player!"
We then get a logo forming above Captain, featuring Player's face.
"SIIIIIIIIMMMMPPPPPPPP!" Banban shouted.
"Very true." Pillow agreed.
"Ok now I can explain the challenge." Chris said. "Do you guys know of yokai?"
Cabby took out one of her files. "They are a huge part of Japanese folklore as supernatural creatures. What exactly do yokais have to do with us then?"
"Ever heard of Yo-kai Watch?" Chris asked.
Everyone nodded a no.
"Fucking pokefags. It's like Pokemon but more Japanese. You use a gay ass watch to find and befriend a bunch of them, and they tend to inspirit people to do stupid shit. For example, wanna know why I didn't act like a complete psychopath back in season 1? I was possessed by a yokai."
"Ah, that makes a lot of sense actually." Nichelled said.
"True. Ok so here's the challenge: You will all be given a bunch of yokai watches to find and befriend as many yokais as possible, with the ones with the least yokai friends being up for elimination, unless Captain isn't in first place, in which case this whole episode is total filler. Interns, get them the merch watches!"
"Coming up!" Guard Chris said as he and Swag came with a box. "Here's the gay watches. Use them to see the bootleg pokeymans."
"That's another cut to the salary for insulting Yo-kai Watch!" Chris yelled.
"Yeah Chris what the fuck is wrong with you bro?! How fucking dare you insult the third greatest Level 5 franchise of all-" Guard Chris punched him in the face.
"Shut the fuck up retard! Just give them the watches so I can kill myself faster."
Swag hands everyone a yokai watch and put them on.
Meanwhile Banban is currently trying to eat Plankton.
"SOMEONE SAVE ME!" Plankton pleaded as everyone felt their yokai watches shake.
"Woah, I think he's possesed by a yokai!" Dee Jay pointed out.
"Thanks captain obvious." Amy told him.
"My name isn't obvious woman!" Captain said.
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Confessional: Amy Rose
Amy: Moron. This challenge is gonna be super easy with him here.
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Dee Jay used his yokai watch to point at Banban, revealing a cone shaped old man yokai wearing traditional japanese clothing.
Banban dropped Plankton. "Guys I'm not hungry anymore. Anyone wanna talk about Total Drama Winter Warriors?"
"No." Bea replied.
"Does anyone of you youngsters have something to feed this feeble old man?"
"Who is this guy?" Connor wonders.
Cabby takes out one of her files.
"Hungramps has the appearance of an elderly man with a white mustache and large, white eyebrows above closed eyes. He has a blue tongue and a single prominent tooth in his jaw. His most notable feature is his cone-shaped head with the vertex being the top of his head. He wears a gray kimono, a blue obi, and one-toothed geta sandals with white tabi. He is usually seen with a small drool on the left side of his mouth and his right index finger on the right side,
In Yo-kai Watch 2, Bony Spirits Hungramps have red obi.
In the anime, Hungramps is an old man. He appears to be lost in thought most of the time. He falls asleep quickly and wakes up shortly after. A running gag in most of his later appearances is his notorious hunger and craving for Yo-kai that one can serve as food, such as Wotchagot, Pride Shrimp, and Spenp. Once he senses the presence of Yo-kai like these, he approaches them and proceeds to eat them. Due to this, he is infamously known as one of the terrifying Yo-kai from the "Eating Clan".
Hungramps has a seemingly bottomless appetite; thus, when he inspirits someone, that person becomes incredibly ravenous.
Back when Hungramps was alive, he had a granddaughter named Sarah. He loved her very much. When Sarah grew up, she spent less time with him. When Hungramps passed away, he turned into a Yo-kai and waited to see his granddaughter's face. In EP004, he saw Sarah again as a teenager, and she stated that she did want to hang out with him. In EP059, she promised him that she would study hard in order to become a doctor to cure his illness. Seconds before they linked pinkies, Hungramps died. After his death, Sarah continued her studies in order to fulfill that very promise.
Hungramps had a relationship with Tattletell, as shown when she tried to attack him and he offered her a beverage. He also formed a friendship with Grubsnitch, since both Yo-kai have insatiable hunger, which leads to them seeking for food-themed Yo-kai and devouring them. In the White and Red Song Battle, they even form a unit named "Tabemono Gakari" and compete on behalf of the Red team.
Hungramps is infamous among food Yo-kai like Wotchagot and Pride Shrimp for them continuously being victims of his hunger. In EP088, he even turns out to be the culprit of the "food Yo-kai murders", which caused his victims, Wotchagot, Pride Shrimp, and Sumodon to lose their souls. Oddly enough, they seem to forgive him and on top of that they invite him to go out to eat. His hunger does not seem to be limited to normal food Yo-kai, as in EP103 goes to the mall during the New Year in order to catch the recently spawned Spenp and eat them."
"Girl you're literally plagiarizing from the Yo-kai Watch wiki!" Banban pointed out.
"So what? Do you really think literally everything in my files is written entirely by me? That'd be ridiculous, especially on such a niche topic."
"No one cares." Pillow said. "I'm gonna report you to R slash youtubedrama, those guys hate plagiarists!"
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Confessional: Cabby
Cabby: Like I'd care what a bunch of basement dwelling mouth breathers think about what I do.
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"Can someone give me food please?!" Hungramps demanded.
Dee Jay hands him over a snicker. "Here mon."
"Thank you young man!"
"I'm like 60."
"Here's my yokai medal as a symbol of our friendship!" Hungramps says before handing Dee Jay over a medal.
"And so Team Rose gets their first yokai befriended!" Chris announces. "Now, the challenge has officially started!"
"Guys guys I have an idea!" Player says to his team. "Let's follow Captain so we can sabotage him and get him eliminated!"
"That's pretty mean." Pillow replied. "Just how I like it."
"Well let's go then. I could use a few more friends." Connor said.
"After him!" Player shouts, and the whole team chases Captain as he cheerfully ran into the forest.
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Confessional: Captain
Captain: Now that I don't have to worry about my leader status since I'm solo this time around, this game is gonna be even easier than in Superstars! Plus I don't think someone like Katz or *sigh* Nagito is here.
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Meanwhile the other teams are making their own plans.
"Everyone, let's split up to find as many yokai as possible, sound good?" Plankton asked.
"It does. But how are we supposed to split up exactly?" Johnny responded.
"I'll go with you and Rottytops. The two girls with barely any dialogue can go together, and then the Cabby and Detective Gumshoe will pair up as well." Plankton ordered. "Basically the usual friend groups here."
"Actually pal, I'd rather go alone for this one, sorry Cabby." Gumshoe said.
"No problem detective. Just make sure to do well on your own, that's all." Cabby replied.
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Confessional: Cabby
Cabby: Yup, still hiding it seems. He's making it quite obvious.
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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe (& Caine)
Gumshoe: I feel a little guilty to do this, but I'm going to try and investigate McLean more. Hopefully there won't be any hard feelings when I come back empty handed.
Caine: I didn't know feelings were an actual, physical object!
Gumshoe: I didn't mean it like that.
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"Guys I have a plan!" Banban shouts. "Here, follow me!"
"Should we?" Nichelle wondered.
"Well it's not like we've got any other ideas." Amy shrugged.
They followed Banban and he got them to near their cabin, where he revealed to them Toby Queef's van.
"Darn, this one hasn't been used in a while right?" Dee Jay said.
"Yup. Kept it around just for the right moment. We can use this to move super fast like Sonic!" Banban explained before Amy hit him with her hammer.
"Don't mention my Sonic like that!"
"Simp much?" Bea asked her.
"Ah c'mon, you too!"
"After hanging with Banban as a teammate so much, I suppose it's only natural some might pick on his lets just say unconventional terminology." Boba Fett noted.
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Confessional: Amy Rose
Amy: Gosh, why can't anyone take me seriously?! They keep calling me simp when I've barely talked about Sonic at all after he got out! Oh well, at least Plankton's alliance is gonna allow me to have Banban as a meatshield.
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They all entered the van and Banban drove it into a tree immediately.
"This is why I never got a drivers license." Banban defended himself.
"Oh boy." Sanders said to herself.
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Confessional: Banban
Banban: Sex.
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The members of Team Cocoa observed Captain looking around every corner for yokai. He was checking on small rocks, climbing trees, smelling himself, but he couldn't find any of them.
"Ah, these yokais must be very hard to find it seems! Sneaky little guys, don't you agree Komasan?"
Even though the person he was talking to was a white cat he had never seen before that had a japanese name, he did not suspect a thing.
"It darn is sir. Yokai have been hidin' from humans for centuries, even today there's less than a hundred people that even know they exist!"
"Very interesting conversation Komasan. Well, I'll be off then, see ya around!"
We then zoom out to show the team being perplexed by their discussion.
"Darn, that guy's like a next level idiot." LSP bluntly said.
"That's just Captain, he's not the smartest guy, heck he's probably the dumbest actually." Player informed them.
"Excuse me little cat." Connor asked Komasan. "Are you a yokai?"
"Yeah, proud countryside yokai. Anythin' you wanna know?"
"Wanna be friends?"
"Ok."
Chris spoke from a speaker. "And Team Cocoa has gotten a yokai friend already!"
"Awesome. How did you do it Connor?" Player wondered.
"Well I simply have amazing charisma, obviously."
"No you don't." Pillow said to him. "Komasan is just a pussy bitch who can't say no."
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Confessional: Connor Roy
Connor: Whatever, unlike Player, I can live with this disrespect, like I've done my whole life before.
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Gumshoe is currently sneaking through Chris's house. He hides behind a tree and looks to see if anyone's there. When he sees he's alone, he sighs and continues on, looking through a window.
There, Chris is on a PC saying a bunch of slurs before he leaves.
So, he goes to the PC and sees that Chris is on discord voice chat.
The server is called "Pedo Central." It has over 500 members.
"Holy crap pal, that's a ton of pedophiles!" Gumshoe said to himself.
"I know, more than an FNF discord server somehow!" Caine added.
"I remember seeing Major Cloog on the island at some point. Now that I think about it, it only makes sense that Chris invited him here!"
"GASP! The Major Cloog?! There's no way someone like him could just stumble on the island like that, you're clearly onto something! CLEARLY there's a conspiracy at play to bring in a bunch of diddlers to Wawanakwa to allow them a place to stay without the constant judging of society!"
"Ok, you did not need to spell it out like that pal." Gumshoe tells him.
"So what? The author doesn't really care anyways, he hasn't been trying since chapter 4!"
"True."
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Confessional: Dick Gumshoe
Gumshoe: Seriously he hasn't. Still better written than most shipping slop on fanfiction websites.
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Banban was still driving Team Rose's van and they had found no yokai at all.
"Are we there yet?" Everyone asked in unison.
"Nope!"
Dee Jay went to the front seat. "Ok lemme look."
After a couple seconds he came to a conclusion.
"BANBAN WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING MON?! YOU'VE BEEN DRIVING IN LITERAL CIRCLES FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT!"
"I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE!"
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Confessional: Dee Jay
Dee Jay: Kid keeps getting on my nerves for no real reason. I try to stay positive, but good luck doing that when dealing with a moron who can't count to 2.
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"Why do we still listen to him? Like actually, why?" Sanders asked.
"I guess we're kinda stupid at times." Bea admits.
They all get out of the van.
"Let's just look for them on foot." Bea declared, which got a chuckle from Banban.
"Hehehe...foot!"
"Banban what the fuck?!" Nichelle asked him. "You're a pervert, just saying."
"You couldn't tell?" Amy told her.
The Team Rose members were going around for a while before they heard some screams.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPP!" Someone shouted, which sounded like a child.
"What was that? Let's look." Boba Fett said.
They went over to the source of the scream and saw a bunch of child looking yokai (Pandle, Pupsicle, Grubsnitch) being surrounded by a bunch of men.
These men were Onision, James Charles, Weegiepie, KonekoKitten, DrDisrespect, Kris Tyson (ok not a man but whatever), Shane Dawson, Colleen Ballinger (again not a man) and Yanderedev.
"Bro what the hell are you doing with those kid yokai man?!" Banban asked them.
"We're NAMBLA." One of them says. "As in the North American Man Boy Love Association."
"Great, we're dealing with pedos again." Nichelle whined. "Wouldn't be a Hollywood actress without it."
"THERES NO LAWS AGAINST THE YOKAI BATMAN!" Yanderedev yelled.
"Okay then, we're off." Banban declared. "Lets go guys."
"Nope, we're gonna rape you." One of the NAMBLA members, IDK who it is says.
"Why?" Dee Jay asked. "We're all of age."
"I'm bored." Another pedo says. "And what way to cure my boredom than raping?"
"Play Fortnite?" Banban suggested.
"Nope. It's raping time!"
So the pedos proceeded to give chase to Team Rose who ran away screaming-yeah you can clearly tell how fucking bored I am at this. Next scene.
We then have Captain spot a black cat yokai. He proceeds to do the soyjack pose at that cat.
"Look guys, a cat!"
When the black cat saw Pillow, it immediately took out a gun and shot itself.
"Hmmm, I wonder who that might've been, totally not Mae, nuh uh, not at all." Pillow went.
"I'm bored." Player says, just like me and all the people reading this shit right now.
He then goes over to Jibanyan, who is an actual yokai that exists in the yo-kai watch games.
"Hey Jibanyan wanna be my friend?" Captain asked.
"HE SMELLS!" Pillow yelled at Jibanyan who ran away as a result.
"Oh, thanks for telling me that." Captain told her. "Wouldn't want to befriend a DISGUSTING and SMELLY guy like him."
"Hey!" Jibanyan said. "I ain't smelly nyah! She's lying, I tell ya!"
"Me? Lying? Impossible, right guys?" Pillow said to her team.
"I lack object permanence." Homer responded.
Homer then proceeded to take out a chocolate bar, which got Jibanyan thrilled.
"OH MY NYAH THAT'S A CHOCO BAR! GIMME GIMME!"
Homer tried to keep his bar away from him but LSP tickled him and gave it to Jibanyan. "Here kitty kitty. Wow, you're like such a cutie y'know?"
"I sure am nyah! Thanks for that, here, have my medal in return nyah!"
"We got a friend guys!" LSP celebrated.
"I suppose my so called "rizz" as the youth say is immeasurable." Connor declares, leading to everyone cringing at him. "Why is everyone so sensitive these days?"
"Tell that to the people in my discord servers" Pillow replied. "I can post the most blatant, non serious post ever like "i am a level 10 racist" and some FAGGOT always jumps in to bitch and say "i knew you were a racist all along!" like bro shut up how utterly RETARDED do you have to be to not understand that?! People like you should be held in solitary confinement, because you'll eventually snap from being so sensitive and kill some dude!"
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Confessional: Player
Player: Why is everyone so weird today?
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Johnny got spoiled by Rottytops on this season's elimination order and he bashed his head against the wall as a result of it.
"God fucking damn it! How am I supposed to be surprised by anything now?! And how the fuck is BANBAN supposed to win?! That guy has 2 braincells!"
"Writer bias, as my man Gman 2.0 would say!" She went. "By the way, Dumbledore dies in book 6!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Johnny are you dumb?" Plankton asked him. "She's probably possessed by a yokai, so just, I dunno, use your yokai watch! It's really not that hard."
"Huh, you're right. Lemme do that."
He used his yokai watch and revealed some stupid ahh ballerina bitch.
"Heloooo! My namerina is Spoilerina! I like to spoil stuff, like that teraleak last month for pokerina!"
"You did that? Damn, that was really cool. Can you show me ZA leaks?" Johnny asked.
"Don't do it, it'd be so frickin' funny if you don't!" Rottytops begs.
"Good idearina! Let's be friendserina!"
The two fist bump as Johnny slaps himself.
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Confessional: Johnny Cage
Johnny: This is the worst day of my life.
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Team Rose was still getting chased around the island by the pedos, who were relentless in their chase.
"God, this is so incredibly stupid." Boba Fett admitted whilst flying on his jetpack.
"Not as stupid as getting mad at my jokes" Banban retorted.
"SHUT UP BANBAN!" Literally everyone yelled in unison.
They finally reached a dead end when they got to the cliff, now surrounded by the pedos.
"Well, it was a nice run guys, but it seems this is the end of the line." Dee Jay sadly remarked. "I lived a long life, and although I'd never want it to end like this, I won't beg or anything, and simply accept my demise."
The whole team started tearing up as the pedophiles approached them closer, closing their eyes and waiting for the inevitable...
...
...
...
"Bro is it that hard to just get molested?!" Banban yelled. "Yeah you're gonna get trauma forever, but you wouldn't DIE now, would you?"
Banban is quickly pushed off by Boba Fett for saying this, though the fall doesn't even kill his ass.
"Too bad that didn't kill me!" He shouted as he floated into the water.
Then the rest of the team just jumped off the cliff and Banban got stomped by all of them and he muttered an "Ow" every time that happened.
"Well that was easier than I thought It'd be." Nichelle said. "So what do we do now team?"
"May I suggest a montage?" Banban asks. "My balls are too injured from Bea's sexy feet stepping on them-"
"I'll rip your fuckin' throat out mate."
"-Gary is too lazy to write the rest of the challenge."
"Ok fair enough." Dee Jay remarked.
We then have a stupid montage set to that song from Team America about the same thing. Long story short all teams but Captain get dozens of random yokai.
"Ok we're back after a stupidly short montage." Chris says. "Let's see how many yokai they befriended!"
The 4 teams come back to the challenge site.
"Okay, now, summon all your new yokai friends teams!"
The 3 regular teams use their yokai watches to summon around 60 of them.
Meanwhile Captain couldn't even put his watch on properly.
"UGH, why is it so hard?!" He whined.
Player laughed at him. "Hah, idiot. Good job getting yourself eliminated."
"Yeah, couldn't be me." Connor added. "Definitely not me."
"Well well, it seems Captain hasn't gotten A SINGLE friend today, how unsurprising." Chris snickered. "Then I guess that means-"
"Wait!" Captain went. "I-I can make some yokai friends, just watch!"
He then pulls out a megaphone. "HEY FELLOW DEAD PEOPLE! IF YOU BECOME MY FRIENDS I PROMISE TO DO A WICKED PARTY WITH ALL OF YOU!"
"Hey, that sounds pretty cool nyah!" Jibanyan said. "Let's join him nyah!"
And so all the fucking yokai go to Captain's side.
"See Player? I can make some friends!"
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Confessional: Player
Player stood around silently for a second, before he started raging.
Player: YAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
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Confessional: Player
Player: Ok so I got a memo that I got a little carried away with that last confessional, so I'll try to be calmer from now on-AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHH!
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Confessional: Player
Player: Screw him. That's all I'm here to say.
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"Ok my bad. Captain gets first fucking place now." Chris noted. "And if you're wondering: yes, I'm just as baffled as you are. If you're not minding it, I'm gonna go back and read Total Drama Ultimate Islands instead. Somehow less cringe and higher quality than this, despite what that story's author thinks."
The two interns came in instead.
"Ok what the hell is this challenge even about again? I forgot because I was playing the new Fortnite update all day, like you all should." Guard Chris said.
"Something about gay pokemon." Swag told him.
"Well you see, there's a little problem-" Cabby began before Plankton shouted instead.
"ALL 3 OF US ARE TIED!"
"Oh, crap." Guard Chris muttered. "Let's do a quick tiebreaker. Whoever says the n word last loses!"
"Darn that's sorta racist don't you think?" Pillow said. "But then again there was that challenge in episode 6 so...n word?"
"I guess that counts. Team Cocoa is safe." Guard Chris announces.
As Banban is about to say the n word, Johnny stops him for a second. "Wait, don't say it! You're gonna get cancelled for saying that Banban! Think of your games, no one is gonna buy games from a racist unless he's racist against white people!"
"Crap you're right, I'm not saying the n word! Dee Jay, say it instead, you have the n word pass!"
"Do it, nerd!" Johnny shouted.
"And Team Pee Pee wins immunity!" Swag said. "Team Rose you suck lol."
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Confessional: Johnny Cage
Johnny: I knew my team lost Rottytops in the original elimination order, which made me realize I should step up, so, I tricked Banban.
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Confessional: Banban
Banban: Lol xd.
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Confessional: Captain
Captain: Alright, for once, I'm actually doing good on this team, and all it took was not having conflict! I hope my teammates from back on Superstars can appreciate my better leadership.
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We cut to Team Rose in their cabins, with the alliance of Bea, Dee Jay and Nichelle & Amy, Banban and Boba Fett talking, with Sanders on the sides.
"Ok, how do we convince Sanders to vote for us?" Amy asks.
"Kindly ask her?" Banban suggests.
"Shut it." Boba Fett tells him. "I'm tired of you. If you weren't so blindly loyal, I would've ditched you a long time ago."
"Great. We're screwed." Amy notes. "Good job Banban."
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Confessional: Banban
Banban: I dunno why I'm here, but whatever dude.
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Confessional: Sanders
Sanders: I'm in the best possible position right now. There is absolutely nothing that can happen wrong.
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Confessional: Bea
Bea: Arceus Almighty, maybe I should wear boots whenever I'm around Banban? I don't want him sniffing my toes in my sleep or something.
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We're now at the elimination ceremony for the millionth time. Team Rose was there I guess.
"Welcome Team Rose to the final team elimination ceremony, after this everyone will be on their own." Chris announces. "Do your thing guards."
"Ok, first on the chopping block: Banban." Guard Chris started.
"Why me? I'm the funniest character!"
"Literally no one thinks that. You're a stupid, spotlight stealing, fic ruining retard who gets too much screentime for being such a plot irrelevant character! That and you didn't say the n word like a pussy."
"Dee Jay can you give me an n word pass pretty please?" Banban asked nicely.
"No."
"Ugly please? Hideous please?"
"No and no."
"Anyway, literally no one here did anything wrong so just vote." Guard Chris said.
"Well then, I guess I'll be the deciding vote!" Sanders bragged. "Suck on that, I'm guaranteed merge!"
"Not so fast." Boba Fett began. "Who says we can't vote you out? Neither of the alliances on this team are sure who you will side with, who's to say you won't intentionally vote with neither of us to get a tiebreaker and not prove your allegiance?"
"Huh, you do have a point." Nichelle remarked.
"True." Bea agreed.
"Wait what?! You can't seriously agree with him!" Sanders protested.
"Shut up fodder. Let's vote her off boys!" Banban declared.
Then we immediately cut to after the vote, where Chris tosses out a marshmellow to everyone except Banban and Sanders.
"That's a 6 to 1 vote everyone, and with that, Sanders is the final contestant voted out of the teams phase!" He declares as he throws Banban a marshmellow, leaving Sanders flabgasted.
"WHAT?! YOU SERIOUSLY VOTED ME OFF?! I WAS DOING SO GOOD!"
"Bro shut the fuck up, the author only put you in because he ran out of characters, bitch." Banban said. "You serve zero purpose, you should-"
"Stop quoting shit memes Gary-I mean Banban." Chris told him. "Just get her out of here, less black people means less wokeness overall."
"That's kinda racist." Sanders remarked before she got blasted out of the sky by the Fist Thingy of Despair.
"Well that was the definition of an anticlimax." Chris said. "We're now done with the first part of the game, and we've still got about half the players to go through! Who knows what sort of thrills, chills and whatever that rhymes with that they'll be up to? I dunno, so, prepare for our 19 person merge in the next episode of
Total!
Drama!
Multiversal!
MADNESS!"
We then cut to all the kid diddlers being sad that they couldn't diddle kids today, until one of them suggests something.
"Guys lets just fuck each other."
Then they all have an orgy with each other.
And die of hypothermia from being naked in the middle of a winter night.
Hopefully no one has sex in Total Drama X: Winter Warriors by Thenewsubwayguy. Check that out while you're at it.
God this was boring lol. Sanders as you can tell was just fodder who was lucky enough to be the last pre merger despite having little to no relevance, and somehow she was more important than some folks who actually merged lol.
Anyways we've FINALLY finished with the pre merge. That is a massive achievement for this story in general and makes me more and more confident that I can actually FINISH Multiversal Madness, despite it's many, MANY bumps in the road.
And another thing: today is December 15th, aka the 1 year anniversary of Multiversal Madness! It's crazy how far I've gotten in just one year.
...Now of course I don't know if anyone actually cares about that lol but whatever. I'm not letting that stop me.
Hopefully the merge portion will take less long to write by comparison.
Oh, and about Captain: I planned him to join the game since the fic started, back then I also got him in a story named Superstars that got deleted, so I picked up the slack and wrote the damn thing myself, with it having 5 complete chapters, and will continue once I'm about to end this story. That's why he's in 2 stories at the same time.
I'll probably take a break for the rest of the year, so until then, ciao!