It took a full half hour for Ahsoka to fully calm down and listen to what Senator Organa was saying.
"So, you're saying Master Kenobi went to go rescue Princess Leia? But you haven't heard from either of them in twenty-four hours?"
"Yes," Senator Organa replied tearfully, looking as if he wished he had been taken instead. "I know it seems like I don't care for her, but I do, Ahsoka...I just, I didn't know they were planning to go after her. If I'd known, I would never have let her leave my side. I would have offered myself to them and told them to take whatever they wanted from me-"
"I know," she interrupted him, and he stopped talking. "I don't doubt that you care about your daughter, Senator. But why are you telling me this only now?"
Senator Organa paused. "Well, the truth is, I didn't think General Kenobi would be captured. But I know he would take good care of Leia no matter what, so I asked to look for her. And he did find her, thankfully. They just...weren't able to escape. I'm afraid the Empire put out a hit on him."
Ahsoka frowned. "That's not what I meant. And...you're saying the Empire coincidentally put out a hit for him on the same exact day that he went out to look for Leia?"
"Yes," Senator Organa nodded. "I sent out some of my men to Daiyu to look for clues and the only information they were able to tell me is that General Kenobi was a wanted fugitive by the Empire."
"I don't understand. You told me he was just lying low, nothing more than a plain meat-cutter," Ahsoka spoke accusatorily. "Why would the Empire suddenly care about him? How did they even find out about his identity?"
"I believe whoever kidnapped Leia may have recognized him and targeted him for his role in the former Jedi Council," Senator Organa replied mournfully. "Oh, Ahsoka, I just don't know what I am going to do with myself if both of them...if both..."
"They are not dead!" Ahsoka yelled, and he went quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry Senator Organa, but for our sanity, we need to keep faith in Master Kenobi. That he is still alive and waiting for us."
Senator Organa took a shaky breath and also tried to collect himself. "Right," he nodded slowly. "You're right, Ahsoka, as always."
"More importantly," Ahsoka took a deep breath and tried to steel herself. "Why didn't you tell me Master Kenobi was still alive?"
Senator Organa closed his mouth and went silent.
"You knew," she whispered, a tear spilling from her eye. "You knew it all along, didn't you?"
She closed her eyes shut as Senator Organa started to protest. He began to explain himself, but she shook her head and refused to open her eyes. The pain was too strong.
If Master Kenobi is alive...and he was able to survive Order 66...
Does this mean that Anakin is too?
No. He would have tried to contact me.
Or would he?
Do I even have the right to hear from him after I left him?
Senator Organa rambled on for what felt like hours, but none of the words registered. Ahsoka breathed deeply, forcing herself to calm down and collect her thoughts.
It was several minutes before she could muster the strength to speak again.
"You knew," she mumbled again, and Senator Organa stopped talking. "You knew that I have been carrying the pain, the weight, the loss of Master Kenobi's death for so many years. How badly I would have given anything for just a glimpse of him. I've been carrying so much guilt and grief with me for ten years," she gasped, and opened her eyes to find her entire face wet. Tears were now flowing freely down both of her cheeks. "You knew that, and yet you never thought to tell me he was still alive? That he survived Order 66?"
"Ahsoka, I wasn't trying to hide it from you," Senator Organa pleaded. "You have to understand...General Kenobi isn't the man you think he is."
"Bullshit!" Ahsoka growled, almost shutting off the holoprojector herself. "He is more of a man than you are!"
After saying this, she immediately regretted it, as she knew this was not true. However, Senator Organa did not deny her accusation. Instead, he simply hung his head mournfully, as if he had been thinking the same himself.
"I know," he replied quietly, and Ahsoka immediately felt awful. "He is a better man than I could ever hope to be. That I will not deny."
"Senator..."
"However, if I had told you, if you had reached out to him...I do not think he would have answered you the way you would have hoped," Senator Organa murmured. "He was just a humble sand whale meat-cutter. I tried to reach out to him multiple times, to rouse his sense of duty, but he would always refuse me and tell me that his duty was to the boy."
"The boy?" Ahsoka asked, confused.
"Leia's brother, Luke," Senator Organa replied. "My other child, who lives on Tatooine with his uncle Owen at the moisture farm."
Ahsoka blinked.
"Believe me, Ahsoka, I tried. I tried to encourage him to join the Rebel Alliance, to remind him of our friends who are still alive, but he refused. He said to me, "I am half a dead man, with one foot in the grave and one foot in the land of the living. Let them be dead to me, as I am sure that I am to them." This is the last time I ever asked him to do something for me."
Ahsoka sighed and sat back down again. Part of her was still angry, imagining what she could've done if she was still her younger self, piloting ships recklessly without a care in the world. Her brain conjured images of her flying to Tatooine and running to Master Kenobi and telling him that it was her, Ahsoka.
I'm alive, Master. It's me. I survived!
Then they could finally go on adventures together and rescue the Galaxy just like they used to.
Just like Anakin and I used to...
But that fantasy was a hopeless dream. In what world would Master Kenobi agree to leave behind a vulnerable child so he could go gallivanting with her like old times? No, it was foolishness to believe that he ever would.
Besides...I was Anakin's padawan. Not Master Kenobi's.
"He wanted so badly to lie low so he could stay close to Luke. Keep an eye on him, just in case. He would not give up his cover for anything," Senator Organa sighed. "And even if I had told you...what if either of you was captured? What would I do if I lost both of you? Information is so precious and so very, very dangerous."
"I know," Ahsoka snapped, "I'm not a child anymore, Senator. You don't have to explain everything to me."
There was a long pause. Ahsoka closed her eyes and put her head in her hands, breathing deeply.
"Okay," she sighed. "I'll go on the mission."
"Thank you, Ahsoka. You have no idea how-"
"Enough," she said, and he stopped talking. "I will go on the mission," she continued, "But only one condition. When I come back, I want there to be no more secrets between us. Understood?"
Senator Organa bowed his head. "Understood," he repeated solemnly.
"Thank you." She stood up to turn off the holoprojector, then remembered something. "Oh, and one more thing."
"Yes?" Senator Organa asked eagerly.
Is Anakin...
No, Kaeden's voice said in the back of her head.
Ahsoka swallowed and tried again.
"Is Miara doing alright?" she asked quietly.
Senator Organa blinked. "Yes, of course," he replied. "Ever since you sent her on her first mission, she's been performing flawlessly. I have heard rumors that she will be promoted to captain of her team soon."
A small smile spread across Ahsoka's face. "I knew she would," she murmured.
Senator Organa also smiled proudly, but he looked somewhat tired and worn out. "Well, I must leave now. I'm afraid I have some other business to attend to."
"Of course," Ahsoka nodded. "By all means, go ahead."
"Thank you, Ahsoka." Senator Organa hesitated. "May the force be with you, Fulcrum."
Ahsoka shrugged and stood up, finally stretching her legs. "Thank you, Senator. You too."
Finally, she shut off the holoprojector and started to pace around, packing her things. Although Senator Organa had provided her with new weapons to replace her old lightsabers, the new blades weren't quite up to her standards and she had been meaning to upgrade them for a while. Except for the hospital bill from her injury had set her back quite a few credits.
Oh, well, she shrugged as she packed them with her anyway. They'll have to do. They may not be the best, but they get the job done, and that's what matters.