For the second time in a span of two days, we had a visitor aboard the Argo II.
Though, I'll admit I wasn't expecting for her to seek me out. She rarely left the comfort of her palace for fear of her mother-in-law. Aphrodite could claim that their feud was water under the bridge all she wanted, but the lasting trauma she left behind had caused millennia's worth of damage.
Psyche materialized on the main deck, where she almost had her eardrums burst by Festus's sonic screech.
"Woah, down boy," I said, leaving my post at the helm. I'd taken night duty after realizing that sleeping was a lost cause. My bed was too soft, my room too quiet. A place that used to comfort me now felt like a trap waiting to be sprung. "She's a friend."
Unfortunately for us, Piper was the first of the Seven to heed Festus's war cry. She tightly gripped her cornucopia, pointing the mouth toward Psyche as if she wanted to brain the goddess with a pot roast.
"You don't want to be here," Piper spoke, voice laden with charmspeak. "You want to leave us alone."
Psyche's whole body seized like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on her. A hand clutched her chest as she slowly backed away.
"No," she whispered, lips trembling. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
"Piper, stand down," I ordered. The demigoddess in question raised her eyebrows but lowered the cornucopia anyway. "This is Lady Psyche, goddess of the mind and soul, and a very good friend of mine."
"Oh." Piper blushed and ducked her head. "Apologies for my hostility, Lady Psyche."
Her words fell on deaf ears.
"She's going to hurt me again," Psyche whimpered, fingers knotting into her hair. "I angered another one of her children. She wants me dead. I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey, take a deep breath." I stepped in Psyche's direct line of sight, forcing her to look at nothing but me. "She's not here. She's not going to do anything to you. You didn't do anything to Piper. Isn't that right, Piper?"
"Everything is alright, Lady Psyche." I cringed at the charmspeak tinting her voice. Piper was trying to help, but charmspeak of any kind always triggered Psyche's panic.
Psyche raked her fingernails along her face. Ichor bloomed along the raised, irritated flesh. She screamed as her back came into contact with the ship's railing.
I approached slowly, my hands held in a placating manner. Psyche's wild gaze flittered behind me, most likely assessing the other demigods as they trickled onto the deck. When I got close enough, she threw herself into my arms.
"Protect me, Andy," she begged. "Don't let her find me!"
"Who is she talking about?" Leo asked.
"A-" Jason began. I heard someone's hands clapping over his mouth, keeping him quiet.
I brushed my thumbs against Psyche's face, the skin knitting itself together under my ministrations. Her breath stuttered.
"She can't reach you here," I said. "The Olympians are all incapacitated. She has no business aboard the Argo II."
"And if she appears anyway?"
"I'll keep you safe."
Psyche's manic burst of energy faded all at once. She slumped against me, visibly exhausted. Shifting my weight, I carried her bridal style down the stairs and set her in my bed. I'd only witnessed Psyche like this twice before, but both times had ended with her taking a two-hour nap.
She was out before her head touched the pillow.
I pressed my teddy bear into her arms, draped the blanket over her, and dimmed the lights. I also lit my wintergreen-scented candle, filling the room with its soft fragrance. Hopefully, the scent reminded her of the willow tree she was so fond of, bringing her comfort.
I padded down the hallway toward the staircase leading to the main deck. The scent of coffee and bacon shifted my path to the mess hall, where the Seven had congregated for breakfast.
Conversation ceased at the sight of me.
I took my unofficially assigned seat and made grabby motions for the coffee pot. Percy silently slid it over. He also passed down the creamer and sugar.
"So," I began as I poured coffee into a mug. "I'm sure you all have questions. Ask away."
"Why is Lady Psyche here?" Hazel asked.
"That's an excellent question. I'm not a hundred percent sure." I added cream and sugar, lightly stirring them in. "We had a chat about two weeks ago, so I'd guess it's about that. Though, I thought I would be the one making the house call."
"Is she okay?" asked Percy, concern burning in his eyes. His fork threatened to bend under his grip. "Was someone after her?"
"She's sleeping at the moment, which is normal for her after situations like this. And no, no one's after her. She has a deep-seated fear of her mother-in-law, and that fear extends to her children and their powers, too."
Piper paled. Then, she scowled. "Is it wrong to smack my mother upside the head?"
"Do it!" Annabeth and Hazel cheered.
"How about we don't antagonize the goddess of love?" Frank proffered.
"I, for one, would love a happily ever after with a hot mamacita," Leo agreed.
"There will be no smacking of goddesses," I said. "The last thing we need is more enemies. Trust me, we'll have more than our fair share in the next two weeks."
Silence once again reigned supreme.
"Look, let's continue with the preparations for tomorrow. We'll be in Ithaca soon. I'll take care of Psyche in the meantime."
That seemed to settle things down. Idle chatter resumed as I half-heartedly nibbled at my breakfast sandwich. Despite my gaze staying glued to my plate, I could feel Percy's eyes trying to burn holes into my soul.
That boy had always been too attentive for his own good.
I managed to get half my sandwich down before my stomach violently churned. Thankfully, I finished my coffee without my intestines practicing gymnastics and quietly excused myself from the table.
Red lights and alarm bells should've been sounding in the forefront of my mind, well aware of the true nature of Psyche's visit. Terror should've gripped my heart. Whatever self-preservation I had left should've begged me to find another way.
Instead, the voice in my head had gone quiet.
There was a numbness that had carved its way deep into my chest. Maybe it was the lack of urgency or my brain trying to cope with the past eighteen days' actions, but something felt so fundamentally off. It was as if everything had shifted two inches to the right, leaving me trying to recalibrate through paths that had once been effortless to navigate.
Unlike my first time returning from Tartarus, I had time to ruminate on the horrors I'd experienced. There was no army heading to destroy one of the beloved camps the following day, no giant who could accept the brunt of my displaced hurt and anger.
The things I did…
I became the weapon the Olympians always wanted me to be.
It was sickening.
I genuinely don't know how much I have left in me.
Ten years of obedience, of servitude, of vile actions.
I was no better than the things I killed in that horrible pit.
And now, I was about to lock away another part of me in service of the world.
God, I'm tired. So very tired.
Furious scuttling and the sound of slamming drawers drew me from my reverie. Buford came charging down the hallway like a man possessed. I moved aside, watching as he careened around a corner, nearly taking down the person coming this way.
I should've known he'd be the one to come after me.
His eyes glowed like precious stones in the dimmed hallway lighting. His face was grimly set, lips pressed into a thin line, brows furrowed in thought. He strode forward with calculated steps, a man on a mission.
I accepted his warm hand on my shoulder, guiding us further down the hallway. We entered the second door on the right.
The air smelled of the ocean mixed with his aftershave. Pictures of friends and family were pinned to a corkboard above a barren desk. In the space next to the desk, a closed guitar case covered in an assortment of stickers leaned against the foot of the bed. The panda pillow that had escaped Octavian's clutches happily sat in the center of his bed. Sunlight filled the room through the window, causing motes of dust to sparkle midair.
The door closed behind us with a soft click.
Percy guided us to his bed.
I sat there in silence, staring at my hands, unsure of what he wanted me to say.
"It should've been us," he said at last, voice tight. "I've replayed that moment in my head a million times in the past two weeks and arrive at the same conclusion each time. Annabeth and I were supposed to go to Tartarus, not you."
"It was bad enough that I couldn't protect the others from that place. There was no way in hell I'd let either of you fall, not when I was there." I tightly gripped the sheets. "The Doors had to be shut, Percy."
"But why does it always have to be you?" Percy exclaimed, abruptly rising from the bed. "There are seven of us on this quest. We could've helped you! Or at the very least, I should've jumped with you instead of letting you go through that alone!" He stilled and stared at me. "Why didn't I go with you?"
Ah, I knew what this was.
Fatal flaws were the absolute worst.
"Hey, no, none of that. That line of thinking is enough to drive anyone insane. I willingly went to Tartarus alone. That place…" I shuddered. "But I would make the decision again in a heartbeat if it meant shielding you from the horrors of Tartarus."
Percy looked stricken.
"It's not fair," Percy whispered.
I gave him a sad smile. "Since when have any of our lives been fair, squirt?"
He frowned. His hands clenched into fists. I stared as water coalesced from the atmosphere, wrapping around his hands in something that vaguely resembled boxing gloves.
"That's new," I said, gesturing toward his hands.
"Huh?" Percy glanced down. When he unclenched his fists, the water vaporized into a fine mist. "Oh, that. It's something I learned how to do after our run in with Khione and the Boreads."
"It's a handy trick to know." I pulled water vapor from the air and shaped it into something that held meaning to us both.
I pressed my watery creation into Percy's hands. He cradled it as if it were a newborn, hands perfectly still, eyes wide as he took in its shape. I was glad to see that this memory persisted.
"A lionfish," Percy shakily exhaled. "I haven't thought about that memory in years."
"Well, the events afterward kinda overshadowed a sweet bonding moment."
"Touché."
I tapped one of the lionfish's spines. Gold light flowed from the tip of the spike down through the rest of the body, shimmering and sparkling like a diamond.
The lionfish would remain frozen in time for as long as I was alive.
Percy placed the lionfish on his desk, finally personalizing the wooden slab. He smiled at the gift with the same smile he wore when he was seven, succeeding at telling me all about lionfish while we poured over The Encyclopedia of Fish.
"You're not getting out of this conversation by distracting me with gifts, Andy."
I snapped my fingers. "Oh, dang it. There goes my master plan!"
We shared a weak laugh before Percy settled by my side again. When I glanced at his expression, all mirth had died, replaced by blatant worry and a coldness that had never been pointed my way.
He clasped my hands and held fast.
"Things are going to get rougher from here on out. There's going to be a lot of chaos and suffering and very little downtime to process things. Are you sure you want to stay with us?"
"Percy, you need a god to kill-"
"Forget about that requirement! You joined this quest to help us kill giants if need be, but you haven't killed a single giant since we crossed the Atlantic! Other gods have aided us in your absence, so don't use that as your reason for staying." Percy tightened his grip. "I want you to stay because you want to stay, because it's in your best interest to stay. If being on the Argo II is causing you strife, is adding to your misery, then please, for the love of Olympus, do whatever it is you have to do to find peace.
"You deserve to be happy, Andy. You've done more than enough for us."
Gods above, I was a mess.
My eyes burned with unshed tears that I refused to let fall. If I fell to pieces now, I feared I'd be unable to pull myself back together.
"Percy, I can't leave you guys."
"Yes, you can. You're not one of the Seven. You're free to go."
"I. CAN'T."
I wrung my hands free and got to my feet. I wrapped my arms around me, nails digging into the meat of my arms. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.
"Andy…"
"I have to stay, whether I want to or not. I have to keep you all safe, even if that means tearing myself apart over, and over, and over again. That's why I was brought here." A single tear slid down my face. "I am a puppet on golden strings, allowed only to act within the constraints of the Fates! That's why Psyche is here, Percy. She's helping me play the Fates' game.
"If I have to become a shell of myself for the greater good, then so be it."
The world went dark.
A hurricane swirled around us. Percy's eyes glowed amidst the dark water. The waves and wind resembled the Arctic Sea – cold, rough, and unforgiving. My powers reacted to the mixture of volatile emotions and fed the storm, a swirl of shadows spreading underfoot and cracking the floorboards. Moss and vines sprouted from the wall and ceiling, lashing together and angrily swaying about.
It was a wonder Leo hadn't busted down the door yet.
I gritted my teeth as I told my powers to calm down. I wasn't in any immediate danger. There was no need to open a gaping hole in the hull of the Argo II.
A knock on the door silenced the storm.
"Percy?" Annabeth asked. "Is everything alright in there?"
He ran his fingers through his hair and deeply sighed. "We're good, Wise Girl."
The door cracked open, and Annabeth peered into the room. She raised an eyebrow at the sheer level of destruction left behind.
"This is good?" she asked.
"Working through some pent up emotions is good. Isn't that right, Andy?"
I allowed the golden glow to overtake my hands as I returned the room to its former state. I didn't want Leo to mount my head on the wall for damaging his spanking hot war machine.
"I need to go check on Psyche," I mumbled.
"Andy, please," Percy pleaded. "Don't do this. We can take care of ourselves."
"It'll be okay."
"No! I don't want my sister to kill herself for us!"
Annabeth's jaw dropped to the floor.
The tension was so thick that I doubted Epithymia or Riptide could cut through it.
Percy's entire body trembled.
Talk about saying it from his chest.
"Would someone like to explain what's going on?" Annabeth whispered, eyes wide.
"I think I can help with that," said a disembodied voice. A kaleidoscope of butterflies swarmed into existence. From the butterflies emerged Psyche, fresh faced and powerful, embodying her full rank as a goddess. She turned to face me. "May I?"
"You may."
"Andy requested my aid in separating her from the curse that has befallen the Oracle of Delphi. We figured that the attacks occur whenever Andy tries to speak of the future, agitating the curse. Since it is her chronokinesis that allows her glimpses of the future, much like an Oracle, we surmised that separating her from this power will prevent the curse from taking hold of Andy."
"But the only way to do that…" Annabeth's paled. She stumbled back into Percy's arms. "Andy, I've seen you do tons of crazy things before, but this takes the cake. Are you sure about this?"
"I am."
"Glad to hear that. A willing participant makes the procedure easier," Psyche said.
"I don't like this talk about a procedure," Percy added. "It sounds dangerous."
"Sealing away a piece of a soul is exceedingly dangerous, Percy Jackson. But Andy is strong and wants to see this through. I have faith in her." Psyche gave me a not-so-subtle look over. "You will be visiting me for a counseling session once this is over. There is much you have hidden away."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "HIPAA means nothing to the gods."
"Technically, I said nothing about private information."
"It's a matter of principle, Psy."
"In any case," Psyche clapped her hands together, "we should probably get started. This isn't a fast or easy process."
"Wonderful," I deadpanned. I turned to Percy and Annabeth. "I'll be fine, kiddos, with or without my chronokinesis."
"For the record, I don't like this," Percy grumbled, pulling Annabeth closer to him.
"Neither do I," said Annabeth.
"Please keep the others from looking for me? I'll be incapacitated for the next few hours at the very least."
The pair chorused, "Yes, Andy," like a well-oiled machine.
I made a point of ruffling both of their hair before walking out of Percy's room and further down the hall to mine. Psyche quietly followed along.
The air grew ten degrees colder as I shut the door behind me.
The wintergreen candle had been extinguished, taking any comfort with it.
My bed had all the warmth of a coffin.
Psyche secured the Celestial bronze manacles around my ankles and wrists. Imperial gold restraints tied down my legs, abdomen, and arms. I felt like I was about to be presented to the public for a medieval flogging. These restraints were for my benefit, though, no matter how much they made my skin crawl or reminded me of my time at Tartarus's hands.
I bit down on the wadded ball of fabric Psyche offered.
She reached for a vial around her neck.
"This is some of Hypnos's sleep powder, just like we discussed. Hopefully, I'll be done before the effects wear off. Ready?"
I nodded my head.
Psyche sprinkled the silver powder across my face.
I closed my eyes and embraced the darkness.
Then began the most torturous twelve hours of my life.
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!
Thanks for reading!