When Olivia saw Fitz at the back of the room her stomach twisted into a knot and immediately her legs felt like they would give way under her. This couldn't be real. Suddenly she was feeling dizzy and before she knew it, she felt herself falling as everything went black. James who was standing beside her caught her before she could hit the ground and Fitz, whose feet had felt glued to the ground just seconds ago had reached across the large room in just a few strides then he was kneeling in front of her. Erin and Sonia ran over quickly.
"Mommy!" Lily screamed as she shook Olivia, "Mommy wake up?"
No one could believe their eyes.
Fitz took Olivia from James and held her in his arms.
"James, move," Erin said as if she hadn't invited James there. Now that it appears Fitz was back she really didn't want to be responsible for having him there.
She quickly as she began fanning Olivia's face. "Everyone back up and give her some air. Someone bring me some water for her."
Sonia began fanning people away.
James didn't move, he was wondering who this man was that made Olivia take one look at him and pass out.
By now the party had quieted down, with everyone staring from Fitz to Olivia. Sonia took the twin girls away from the area.
"What's wrong with my mommy?" Lily asked.
"Nothing," Erin said, "she's just a little tired, that's all, why don't you go to Sonia and see if your sisters are okay," Erin said as she fanned Olivia's face.
"No, I have to take care of mommy."
Fitz looked down at Olivia, in disbelief this entire time. He began to feel her flutter in his arms and moments later she opened her brown eyes.
Fitz was in front of her and it was him, just one look into his eyes left no question about that. She knew all along that he was alive and everyone convinced her she was insane for believing the way she did. Almost immediately she began to feel guilty for giving up. Her eyes began to water.
She inspected his face just inches away from hers. He looked just as handsome as the first day she saw him. It was quiet.
He stared into her eyes, the familiarity pulled him in and kept him there and he stared until he could see her face in his head and then he began seeing multiple faces, her face when they first met then Scott's face, then Lucky's, his father, his mother, Lily. The memories flickered through his head like a flipbook, way too fast and way too intense. It was just bits and pieces and wasn't fully formed.
"Fitz-," she pleaded.
She noticed that he wasn't staring at her anymore.
"Fitz?"
"Livie?" he answered after a while once he was out of his head and staring at her again.
It all finally clicked together for him and he buried his face into her, hugging her tightly as if she was going to disappear.
"Everyone told me I was crazy but I knew you were still alive."
When James heard that he realized what was going on. The man was her husband, who else could it be?
She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and breathed in his smell. His scent was the same.
"I missed you so much," she cried, "I can't believe you're here. How are you here?"
His eyes filled with tears and they rolled down his cheeks as he hugged her.
Erin tried to give her a bottle of water to drink but Olivia paid her no mind.
"I missed you so much. I love you so much, Olivia, I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"Shhhh," she shook her head, "I love you," Olivia leaned back from the hug and kissed his lips.
He kissed her back as if she was going to slip away from him, holding her tightly as he locked her lips and tongue against his.
"Mommy eww gross," they both heard Lily say. She'd never seen her mother kiss another man or really any person like that before.
Try as she might she couldn't will herself to break the kiss and instead ran her hand through his hair and deepened the kiss. They kissed so intensely that neither could get a break for air but then when Isabelle and Daisy came along and began tapping her leg they finally broke the kiss.
Suddenly everyone's attention was broken when they heard loud barking and Zeus ran through the doors and jumped on them both. Attacking Fitz and licking him excitedly.
"Hey boy," Fitz petted his but couldn't give him his attention because he was so consumed with Olivia.
Erin quickly pulled the large dog back but could barely control him, trying to pet him and calm him down. Once Erin pulled Zeus back Fitz was once again staring into Olivia's eyes
Olivia smiled and wiped his eyes and he wiped hers then he let her up and stood as well. She turned around to their three children, two of whom Fitz still had no idea where theirs, he only knew of Lily.
"Lily, Isabelle, Daisy, this is your dad."
Olivia turned around to Fitz and by the look on his face she could tell he was shocked and she realized that he didn't know.
"Isabelle and Daisy?" Fitz said, mostly to himself.
"Yeah, remember when he really wanted me to get pregnant, well I did," she said with a smile.
Fitz kneeled down.
"Hi Lily," Fitz looked to Olivia and she nodded for him to go on.
"That's Isabelle," she pointed.
"Hi Isabelle," then Fitz turned towards Daisy, "Hi Daisy."
He stretched out his hand but both girls stepped back. Their eyes reminded him of his brother Scott.
Olivia leaned down to Fitz hoping he didn't feel bad.
"It'll take some time."
Fitz nodded.
"Lily, do you want to give your dad a hug?"
Olivia knew Lily was compassionate enough to do it.
Lily nodded and gave Fitz a tight hug. Fitz let her control the hug because he didn't want to let her go but he also wanted to be very careful about their first impression of him.
"Yay! I have a mommy and daddy now like all my friends."
It was utterly heartbreaking for Fitz to hear.
"Um..mommy I'm gonna give you your birthday present now, aunty Erin helped me with it."
Lily ran off in the direction of the stage.
Fitz saw the decorations but it wasn't until Lily said the words that it registered that it was Olivia's birthday. His memory still had gaping holes in it and he couldn't remember enough to know some details although now he felt familiar with his old life. He had so many thoughts and so many memories swimming around in his head that he felt overwhelmed. He'd expected his memory to come back slowly or even not come back at all, he didn't think it was happening all at once just by the familiarity of staring into Olivia's eyes. In some ways it made sense, he was the first person he began to remember, she was the first person he saw in his dreams. She was his trigger. As he stood there he began thinking about the circumstances under which he left and how everything went down. It wasn't just readily available to him, he had to think on it to remember fully.
Fitz stood as Lily and the twins ran off. Olivia turned to him.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah," he said softly, "this is just a lot."
"I know, I know, I'm still kind of shaking because I'm just in total shock. I'm going to get all these people out of here once Lily dances okay?"
Fitz nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him.
Erin walked over to James.
"You gotta go man?"
"Who is that?" James asked.
"That's her husband and he will literally murder you, you need to leave."
"He doesn't look dead."
"Apparently not, now leave."
Erin said the words then walked back to Sonia and the girls.
Olivia stared at him for a few moments and the tears came again. She was feeling a lot of emotions, shock most of all and she needed to constantly feel him close to her out of fear that he would disappear.
Lily began dancing her short two-minute routine and saw Fitz watch her he couldn't believe how she'd grown. All he could remember was this little baby that he left and now she was one stage doing flips and spins.
"She's so big," he mused.
Olivia smiled.
When Lily was finished everyone applauded and she ran off the stage to Olivia.
"Mommy did you like it?" she asked excitedly.
Olivia stooped down.
"I loved it, it was beautiful."
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm just happy, that's all."
Lily wiped her eyes and hugged her.
"I love you, mom."
"I love you too and I loved my birthday present."
Lily smiled widely and nodded and ran off to Sonia.
"Sonia, did you see that?" Lily yelled as she ran.
Olivia looked over to Erin and Erin quickly ran over. Everyone was in shock.
"Erin-"
"-Get rid of them, got it and don't worry about the girls, I'll take care of them," Erin said, realizing that maybe they needed some time to talk.
"Thank you for this," Olivia said before she turned to Fitz, she took his hand and walked him through the hall and up the staircase. As they walked to their bedroom Fitz stopped when he saw their wedding picture mounted on the wall.
"You want to see the girl's bedroom?" she asked.
"Yeah," he replied.
She walked him down the hall and stopped at Lily's bedroom first. As he looked into the room he remembered that it used to be a nursery now it was different. There was no longer a crib there now she had a large bed, a small ballet bar by a large mirror. She had mannequins with dresses and ballet tutus. The walls were white with Lily flowers painted all over. He noticed a picture of himself mounted on the wall and realized that that was why Lily recognized him, it was because she saw his face every day. As he looked around in Lily's room the memory of when he first went into her nursery in New York when Olivia was pregnant flashed into his mind. He could see tennis rackets and a soccer ball was thrown on the floor along with a pile of gifts.
"She really likes sports," Olivia said. "Just like you."
Fitz smiled.
"Yeah, I can see."
They walked further down the hall to the twins' bedroom that was painted white with Irises and Daisies painted on the wall. There were two full beds with bars at the side to protect the girls from falling off while sleeping. Unlike Lily's room, the twins' room was filled with toys. They had a pile of gifts on the floor in the middle of the room. On the wall, he saw his picture again.
They walked back to their bedroom. It was almost the same, exact same as Fitz left it so many years ago. He walked around, observing, and at the side of their bed, he saw a small picture frame with a letter inside it.
It was the letter he'd written to Olivia and once he read it, he remembered writing it and why he'd written it.
"I wrote this to you?"
"Yeah, you don't remember?" Olivia asked.
"I do now but I had lost my memory Livie, all of it."
"What? How?"
"I fell out of a plane before it crashed. It's still a little hazy but I remember waking up and not having a clue who I was."
"And they didn't tell you, did they?"
"Nope, I had to figure it out myself."
"How did you?"
Fitz put back the picture frame on the nightstand.
"I started having dreams about your face a few months ago and it all sort of unraveled from there. I knew something was up and I figured it out eventually."
"When did you get your memory back?"
"When I saw you downstairs ten minutes ago, but it's barely there because there's a lot I don't remember."
"That's-"
"Insane, yeah, I know."
Olivia stepped a little closer to him.
"Did you see the video?"
"The one where it looks like I was beheaded yeah, that wasn't me that was Akio."
"But how?"
It took Fitz a moment to recall everything.
"There were these masks. I know I wanted to kill him. I don't remember how I orchestrated it but he's dead."
Fitz reached into his pocket and took out a necklace and handed it to her.
"Where did you find that? I lost it a few years ago."
"You didn't lose it. Huck's been breaking into the house and stealing your personal effects for some years now. Your underwear, your makeup, pictures, and other things."
"What?"
"Yeah, he kept them in a box, I only found some of them he threw out the other before I could see them."
"Why would he do that?" she asked.
"He became a little obsessed with you I guess."
Olivia sat on the bed and took a breath and looked at Fitz, he seemed so distant and sad.
"Fitz, are you okay?"
"No, I'm not. I just spent almost 5 years thinking I had no family while you were here raising my children alone. That is not okay."
"But it's not your fault."
"Who's fault is it then? It's certainly not yours."
Olivia walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"It's not yours either sweetheart."
"I just wish I had done things differently. We wouldn't be here right now. Five years Olivia, Five."
"I know and in those 5 years, I thought of a thousand different things that we could've done to avoid this and every time I came up short. They didn't want to let you go and they did everything in their power, barely short of killing us both to achieve that. There was nothing we could have done except not fall in love and not be together or have our babies that would've satisfied them."
Olivia smiled.
"The only thing that kept me going was my love for you and our little girls. I had to be strong for them. They're just these amazing little human beings and they're a blast. They are so kind and smart and funny. I know it's gonna take a while for you to get close to them but everything you're feeling right now it'll get better."
Fitz nodded and rested his forehead against her.
"Thanks for not forgetting me," he said as his eyes filled with tears again.
He didn't remember a time when he was so emotional.
"Like how you forgot about me?" she joked, "too soon?"
"Way, way, way, too soon."
She leaned up and kissed him.
"I still can't believe you're here."
Fitz smiled, truly smiled for the first time that day.
"I can't believe it either. I didn't know exactly what I was gonna find here today but I just knew it would be the opposite of all the emptiness I felt these past four and a half years."
She wiped his wet cheeks and kissed him again as she pushed him back to the bed. After almost five years, she felt she'd waited long enough, it would take months to get back to where they were but there was a part of him that she could get right now.
When Fitz felt her pushing him back towards the bed he knew what she wanted but he really couldn't give it to her. With all the guilt he felt about the past 5 years and now that he was with her and remembered everything they had now he felt guilty about not being faithful to her while she was obviously faithful to him even when everyone thought he was dead. That wasn't what he wanted her to do in the event that he died, he wanted her to move on and be happy but since he didn't die and now that he was back, he was so glad that she didn't.
"I love you so much," she whispered as she pushed him down on the bed.
She was so wet and so hot and eager for him that her hands were trembling as she kissed him.
Fitz got lost in the kiss for a moment and before he knew it she was on top of him on the bed. When she broke the kiss and leaned up to pull off her top Fitz came to his senses and he lifted her and sat her on the bed.
He stood up and took a deep breath and paced back and forth, trying to will his erection away. His boxers felt a little wet which was probably from the pre-cum because he was so excited.
Olivia sat on the bed, breathing deeply trying to understand what was going on. Why did he stop?
"I'm sorry baby, I think we should just wait for a little, my mind is a little scattered."
Olivia nodded but didn't say anything. There was nothing she could say.
They stayed in her bedroom for a few more minutes while his erection when down and Olivia cooled off.
Downstairs Erin had ended the party and was now cleaning up with her wife and Sonia. She had everyone leave immediately. Everyone was still confused by seeing Fitz, the video of his beheading replayed publicly for days. They all saw it.
"Where is mom?" Lily asked Erin after she realized they'd disappeared.
"She's making eggplant parmesan with dad," Erin said, smiling at her private joke that Lily didn't understand."
"I want to make eggplant too."
"Oh no honey, you shouldn't make eggplant parmesan until you're at least 18."
Lily was puzzled.
"Lily, let's go play tag," Daisy said with Isabelle by her side.
"Okay, let's go, I'm gonna be it okay?"
Both twins nodded.
"I'm gonna count to three and you run," Lily said, "1,2,3."
The girls ran off and Lily chased them.
"Lily, you can't catch me," Isabelle screamed as she ran with Zeus playing along with them.
As Fitz and Olivia walked down the stairs, they heard the precious sound of the girls laughing. Fitz loved it.
They went to the kitchen and saw Erin, her wife, and Sonia.
"That was quick," Erin said with a smile to her sister.
Olivia blushed, slightly embarrassed.
As Fitz stood there everyone stared.
"I'm gonna go watch the girls play," he said to Olivia then kissed her temple.
Once Fitz walked away, the questions came.
"How is he here?" Erin asked.
"It wasn't him that got killed obviously, it was someone wearing a mask made the look like his face."
"So where was he all this time?" Erin asked.
"He lost his memory from a brain injury on a mission and no one told him he had a family, he had to figure it out himself. and eventually, he found us."
"So he was I the military all this time?"
"Yeah."
Erin walked over to her and hugged.
"I'm sorry, all this time I thought you were crazy for thinking he would come back but you really did feel something? You knew. I'm really happy he came back, I'm happy for you and your vag, you deserve this."
Erin let her go and hugged her again.
"Fuck, I'm happy for you. Can you believe this?"
Olivia smiled.
"No, it still feels like a dream. Someone should pinch me."
Olivia felt a prick on her arm, "ouch."
Erin chuckled, "you said to pinch you."
Olivia laughed, "yes I did say that I didn't."
Sonia walked over to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"You are so blessed. Some so many people prayed for this, for a loved one to come back and you got that."
Olivia smiled and hugged her.
"Thanks, Sonia."
Olivia went to look for Fitz and the girls and found him watching them playing tag with Zeus. She walked up behind him and hugged his side.
"Two at once huh?"
"Yeah, not easy?"
"What are their names, full names?"
"Daisy Bluebell Grant and Isabelle Iris Grant. I just couldn't abandon the flower thing."
"How were they, when they were babies? They still are babies," he said with a smile, "look at them," he said as he pointed at Isabelle counting.
"45, 46,48-"
"Izzy remember 47," Lily said with a smile.
"Oop, I forgot, 47, 48" Isabelle said as she laughed.
"They were great babies. I had a c-section with them at 35 weeks so they were a little early. Their birthday is on February 12th."
"How was your pregnancy?"
"Great."
It didn't sound true.
"Livie?"
"Fine it was terrible but I don't want you to feel bad okay, Lily was pretty horrible too."
"When did you find out you were pregnant, thinking back now I remembered we were gonna wait to find out together."
"Welll…."
Fitz gave her a look.
"When I saw the video I couldn't get out of bed for days, I wasn't really eating or drinking so when I finally tried to get up, I passed out from dehydration, went to the hospital and they gave me a blood test, the doctor gave me the news."
Fitz hugged her closer and kissed her forehead.
"What are they like, how are they different?"
"Well, Lily is very sweet and mature and kind and she takes good care of her sisters and she's really protective of them and me. She just finished shooting a music video for this popstar named Mia."
"I've heard that name before."
"Yeah, she's a pretty big deal, the video is launching on New Year's day."
"Wow, at 5, that's amazing."
"Yeah I didn't really want her to do it but she said she wanted to do it and I guess I thought if you were out there you might see it too."
He smiled.
"You know when I walk inside earlier and saw her she recognized me?"
"Of course she did, she sees your face every day. Lily is old enough to sort of understand when I told her but the twins were too young."
"What about Daisy and Isabelle?"
"They're really sweet, they do this really cute thing where they finish each other's sentences and they say the same thing at the same time but um...I don't know..they're just amazing, well-behaved, smart, kind, creative and happy. Isabelle is a little bit more of a comedian than her sister and Daisy likes makeup and fashion and she likes trying on my clothes and shoes. Whenever she comes to the office, we can never get her to actually want to leave."
Fitz chuckled and hugged her closer as he kissed her forehead.
"You raised great girls, look at them, they're amazing and you did it all alone. I can't believe I missed so much."
Olivia turned to him.
"Fitz, you came back at a time in their lives were in about 10 years, they won't remember you were ever gone. We are so lucky, they've seen your face, your actual face and not just the pictures I've shown them. We got you back Fitz, now I don't have to tell them stories about you, you can create your own stories with them."
He nodded and smiled sadly. The guilt was killing him especially now that he knew all that he missed.
"I know, you're right- I just- 5 years Olivia- 5."
She kissed his lips softly.
"I know but it's Christmas day and also my birthday."
"Happy birthday."
"And?"
"Merry Christmas."
Olivia smiled.
"I'm gonna send Erin and Sonia off so we can have some alone time with the girls."
He nodded and smiled.
"Yes. please."
Olivia chuckled.
"You're still anti-social I see."
Olivia held him for a few moments before letting go and quickly walking to the kitchen.
"Guys, thanks so much for today but I think we want to spend some time alone with the girls."
Both Erin and Sonia nodded understandingly and headed out after hugging Olivia.
"Merry Christmas," Erin said as she left. "By the way, Erin, inviting that man here again, not okay."
"Shhh...we mustn't speak of such things. It's in the past, let it stay in the past."
Olivia rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"Happy birthday twin," Olivia said to Erin.
Erin didn't really celebrate her birthday so most years they didn't make any sort of big deal about it.
"Bye."
Erin rushed out behind Sonia.
Oliva went back to Fitz.
"Are you hungry?"
"I'm starved actually, I was so anxious I couldn't really eat."
We still have a lot of food leftover from the party. I'll make you some."
"It's okay, I'll do it-" Fitz offered.
"No," Olivia insisted, "I want to."
She kissed him on the lips and walked over to the food table. Everything was left just as it was set up.
Fitz walked closer to the girls to observe them and once he was only a few feet away, Zeus stopped playing with the girls and ran over to him and jumped on him again.
"Hey boy, you missed me?"
Once Fitz started playing with Zeus the girls ran over to him.
"Sometimes we ride him like a horsie," Isabelle said with a chuckle.
"You do?" Fitz asked.
Isabelle and Daisy nodded together.
"Can I see?"
They both nodded again.
"Um...can I do it, Izzy?" Daisy asked.
"Yeah, you can do it then I do it okay?"
Daisy nodded, "okay, then Rosebud."
Lily nodded. They all agreed.
Fitz smiled, Olivia was right, they were absolutely amazing.
"Zuzu, come on, sit Zuzu," Daisy said as she petted him.
Zeus sat.
Daisy got behind him and mounted the dog and once she was on his back Zeus stood.
They all began giggling hysterically as Zeus walked around with Daisy on his back.
"Giddy up horsie," Daisy said.
Fitz laughed as Zeus walked around with Daisy and then came back and sat down. Isabelle rode him them, Lily.
"Can I ride him?" Fitz asked.
Lily giggled, "No you're too big, you'll hurt Zuzu and mom said we shouldn't hurt animals, that's mean."
"M-hm," Isabelle agreed.
Fitz chuckled.
"Okay, I won't hurt Zeus, I swear."
Olivia watched them silently from across the room, smiling.
"So whose idea was it to ride Zeus?" Fitz asked.
"Mine, it was mine?" Lily said excitedly, "um..um...when my mommy took us to um...Paris, when..um...it was fashion week...we went to ride horses on the street."
"So that gave you the idea to ride Zeus?"
Lily nodded.
"You know I had horses when I was your age, at your grandfather's ranch."
"I have a grandfather?" Lily asked.
"Yeah you did but he's gone now?"
"Gone? Like you were gone? Does that mean he's coming back?"
"No, he's gone but not like I was, he's not coming back."
"Oh."
"So you guys really like horses huh?" he said as he turned to Isabelle and Daisy. He wouldn't tell them apart especially since they both wore the same red dress and had the same red bow in their hair.
"Yeah, like a lot," they said together.
Fitz chuckled and immediately began trying to figure out how he could get a horse. He had about a dozen horses at his family ranch but he had no idea the state his estate was in at the moment. It was a conversation he and Olivia needed to have soon. In the meantime, he still couldn't believe he had daughters, not just one but three.
"Maybe Santa will give a late Christmas gift, that winnies."
"Santa's not real," Lily said.
Olivia cackled from across the room.
"She's very committed to Santa not being real," she said.
Fitz laughed, "I can see that."
Olivia brought food for Fitz and the girls to the dining room and then went called them.
"Come on guys, the food's in the dining room."
The girls ran to the dining room and Fitz quickly followed them. They all climbed into a chair and Fitz sat beside them. They began eating and he watched them for a while before he ate as well.
When they were all done Olivia took the plates and cups and put them in the dishwasher.
Olivia checked the time and it was almost 4pm. When she went back to the dining room there were still sitting.
"Girls do you want to watch a movie in the media room?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" they all said together.
Fitz smiled.
"Come on, let's go, chop, chop."
They hopped off the chairs and ran to the media room. Fitz followed with Olivia.
"Is this how much fun it is the hang with them."
"Yeah."
When Olivia and Fitz reached the media room. The girls had already decided on a movie and Lily turned on the tv. They all sat in the theatre chairs in front of the movie screen as the intro to Frozen began.
Olivia sat in Fitz's lap in one of the chairs and clapped the lights off as they watched the movie. It felt good the be nestled in his warmth. Something as normal as watching a movie with their children felt like a privilege.
The twins fell asleep shortly after the movie began because they'd missed their usual daytime nap. Lily fell asleep halfway through. Once Olivia noticed they were sleeping the clapped the lights in and stood.
"Let's take them up to their beds. You take the twins, I'll take Lily."
Fitz stood behind her waiting as Olivia lifted Isabelle and put her on his right shoulder and then she lifted Daisy and placed her on his left shoulder. It was his first quasi hug from them, he appreciated it even though they weren't awake. He kissed Daisy's cheek and then Isabelle's.
"They smell so good, why are they so perfect Olivia."
She smiled as she lifted Lily.
"I ask myself every day, now you will too."
He smiled and followed her upstairs to the bedrooms. As Olivia reached the top of the staircase, she decided to take them to her bedroom instead. She laid Lily in the middle of the bed and Fitz laid Isabelle and Daisy beside her. Olivia began removing Isabelle's shoes and when Fitz saw that he followed her lead and began removing Lily's shoes and then he removed Daisy's.
"How long do they sleep for a nap?"
Olivia checked her watch
"They might sleep all night, it's almost 6 and they were up pretty early and had a really exciting day playing at Sonia's and then meeting their dad and they aren't hungry so I think they'll be asleep until tomorrow."
"That sucks," Fitz said with a chuckle, "I was hoping we could hang out some more before the day ended."
Olivia walked over him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
"You have tomorrow."
"Nothing's promised to us, these last 5 years taught me that. One day I'm excited we might have a kid on the way and then next I don't even know you exist."
Olivia smiled.
"Maybe don't remind me about not knowing I exist. It burns."
He smiled.
"I missed your smile," she said as she pulled him to the bathroom.
Fitz followed behind her to the bathroom.
Once they were in the bathroom Olivia walked over to the bathtub and turned on the faucet and gauged it until it ran warm. She sat on the edge of the tub and kicked off her suede thigh-high boots then walked over to the vanity and grabbed a hair tie from the glass jar on the marble counter and pulled her hair into a high ponytail.
Fitz stood watching her. Feeling conflicted about where things were headed.
She walked over to the tub and watched as the waterline rose then when it reached about three-quarters of the capacity she turned it off. Olivia pulled her top out of the waist of her skirt and took it off then threw it on the ground then she unzipped her mini skirt and pulled it down followed her pantyhose. Now she was just in her thong and bra.
As Fitz stood watching her he could feel his heart rate rising in the chest and suddenly he was feeling hot.
"You know, I think I maybe heard Zeus out there so-" he ducked out of the bathroom.
Olivia would have laughed if she wasn't so confused. He was avoiding sex, the thing that she physically needed the most at that moment. After almost 5 long years of being starved of intimacy, patience wasn't something she had an abundance off but she had to understand that it was his first day back, it had only been a few hours and still had no idea what he'd been through in the past 4.5 years. The worst-case scenario was that he was with someone and maybe felt conflicted. Even thinking about that possibility brought stinging tears to her eyes and she quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath and finished undressing then she stepped into the tub and sat in the water.
Fitz came back almost 5 minutes later and sat on the bathroom vanity.
"You're avoiding having sex with me? Why?" she asked.
"I just think it's too soon, I think we should wait."
"Why?"
"Today is my first day back, I want to take things slow, I'm still adjusting here."
Olivia nodded.
"I've waited almost 5 years if it hasn't killed me yet then a little more time won't kill me either."
When she said that he had all the confirmation he needed and it made him feel even more guilt. She could see it on his face that something was bothering him.
"What's wrong, I thought that's what you wanted to hear?"
Fitz chuckled sadly.
"I was actually hoping it was the opposite even though I knew it wasn't. It would've made me feel better."
"Why because you slept with other people and I didn't?"
He stood from the vanity and walked over to the tub and on the ground beside her.
"Aren't you upset with me?"
"How can I? That's exactly what they wanted right? They wanted you to forget about your family, go back to fucking any and every woman you wanted, they wanted you to feel lonely and isolated and to fill that void in your life where your family used to be you'd turn you into an angry killing machine again. So even if you found each other again or even if you remembered too much would have happened. You'd be too different. I know a lot is going on with you, and you need time to adjust, I'll give you the time you need but just remember that I've been waiting for you for almost 5 years. You didn't remember us so it's not like you missed us. I've missed you and I want more than anything for us to be like we were."
Fitz shook his head.
"You're wrong. I didn't remember you but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you. All this time all I knew was that there was this huge hole in my heart and I had no idea what was missing from my life I just knew it was missing and that's what made these last few years hell and then…"
"Then what?"
"Then I walked in and saw you today...just standing there and just the way I felt seeing you from across the room was...everything that I knew I was missing for the past few years."
Olivia reached over the side of the tub and pulled him closer to her and kissed him softly on the lips.
"I don't know how you can say those things to me and expect me not to jump on you."
Fitz chuckled.
"Trust me, I want to, more than anything but it's kind of hard to really focus on sex when you're too busy feeling guilty and stuck in your own head."
Olivia nodded.
"I understand but just so you know, everything that you're worried about, everything that you feel guilty about, you're forgiven, I forgive you because it's not your fault, the problem is that you haven't forgiven yourself."
Fitz shook his head.
"It's not that simple, Angel."
She smiled at the memory of him calling her that name. It was one of her favorite nicknames he'd given her.
"All your insecurities about being a good father and husband are sort of on overdrive right now but it is that simple."
"Maybe you're right," he said as he caressed her cheek softly. "By the way, I've wanted to say this all day but why the fuck are you so beautiful, like way more than I remembered you from 5 years ago. It's insane."
She smiled.
"I said stop saying things like that because I will sexually assault you, I swear."
Fitz laughed and kissed her again. He wrapped his arms around her wet body and her skin was so soft he knew he couldn't indulge for long. He was already feeling aroused.
"I feel a boner coming on so I'm gonna go okay."
Olivia shrugged, it felt so good to have his hands on her bare skin but she didn't want to push him.
"Okay, I'll be out in a moment."
Fitz nodded and smiled.
"I think I wanna grab a shower as well."
"All your clothes are still in your closet, just the way you left it."
"Really?"
"Yes, of course."
Fitz smiled.
"I'll be right back."
Olivia nodded and then finished her bath then stepped out of the tub and dried her skin in a towel robe.
When Fitz walked in his closet right beside Olivia's he saw all his clothes, things he didn't even remember he had, some folded and others hung neatly, along with about 50-60 pairs of shoes hung on a wall shelf.
He looked around for a while and then grabbed a pair of underpants and a pajama pant and sweater then he walked back to the bathroom to find Olivia brushing her teeth by the vanity. He pulled off his sweater and then his undershirt and turned on the showerhead.
He pulled off his pants and by the time he did that Olivia had finished brushing her teeth and washing her face began applying her nightly creams and serums.
He pulled off his boxers and from the corner of her eyes, she glimpsed his penis that still seemed semi-erect. It looked amazing and all that ran through her mind was the different things she could do with it.
He stepped into the shower and after she finished with her face, she sat on the marble counter of the vanity and waited for him.
It was a quick shower and the entire time he stood under the showerhead wondering how he was going to last a night without her, trying to balance his guilt with his need for her was more difficult than he thought. He just really didn't think that after being absent for almost 5 years and not only absent but sleeping with other women that he deserved to just come home and be balls deep in her. On the other hand was it fair, that after waiting all these years she had to wait even longer. To be fair to himself, he hadn't slept with anyone since he began getting dreams of her, that was when he knew something was wrong and he was so busy focused on trying to see her face in his head that he didn't really have the energy to focus on anyone else.
When he finished his shower he stepped out of the bath and wrapped his towel around his waist. he'd made up his mind. He went into the bathroom semi-erect and came out fully erect.
When Olivia saw the tent under his towel she squeezed her legs together a little tighter and chuckled.
"What's so funny?" Fitz said with a slight smirk as he walked over to the bathroom door and locked it with the lock.
Olivia watched him, hoping that his resolve broke. The Fitz she knew couldn't resist her all at and she really hoped that didn't change. She wondered if it was unreasonable for her to expect sex so quickly, especially after everything they'd been through, he'd only been there for a few hours after all.
When Fitz locked the door he walked over to her by the counter and opened her legs slightly on both sides of his hips and pulled her to the edge of the counter.
She felt a wave of heat flash over her skin.
"Do you still want it?" he asked softly as he pulled the knot that held her robe closed around the waist.
She pulled his face down to her level and kissed him hungrily. Fitz pulled her robe off her shoulders quickly and felt when Olivia let go of his cheek while still not breaking the kiss just so she could pull her arms from the sleeves of her robe. Once he did this she reached down to the towel wrapped around his waist and pulled it off then dropped it to the floor.
Fitz lifted her easily and pulled her body so close that he could feel her hard nipples pressed against his wet chest.
He could hear her panting in anticipation as they kissed. He slowly reached down and held his shaft and pressed his tip again her clit over and over again. She was so warm and soft that he had to close his eyes and just relish in the feel.
"Mmmm," she moaned as she grabbed him tighter and swirled her tongue around his.
He had to lift her a little so she was on his level as he slowly began to guide his way inside her.
"Godddd," he groaned when he felt her hot, wet opening.
It was definitely the Olivia he remembered.
He held her tighter and sucking in air, panting as he broke the kiss.
"Ahhh…" Olivia whimpered.
He slid in a little deeper, having to take his time because it was such a close fit. As wet as she was, he still didn't have an easy time going inside her.
She grabbed his ass and pushed him in deeper, not caring about the burning and stretching she felt in her walls.
"Oh my god," she cried out. All she needed was a couple of strokes and she would cum, her body was on edge and she knew she wouldn't last long.
He slid until he couldn't reach any further then he pulled out completely.
"Fuck," he cursed as he was finally able to take a breath.
He felt a rush of cold air on his wet penis and it sent chills up his spine.
Olivia was still gripping his back, panting softly.
He opened her legs a little wider and leaned down between them and swirled her clit around in his mouth.
"Ahh..ahh..mmmm," she moaned shakily.
He just wanted to taste her and was trying not to get too excited. He was a few strokes away from cumming and even though he wanted to moment to last as long as possible, that was impossible.
He slowly and gently released her clit from his mouth and then he licked down her slit slowly.
Her legs trembled.
Fitz leaned up and pulled her into a kiss against his wet mouth and then slowly slid his way in. This time it was a little easier.
"Fuck," he moaned against her mouth when he couldn't go any further.
He slowly pulled back and as he did this he felt liquid seeping down his cock.
He lost it.
He slid in again, this time he grabbed her ass as he raised her up and stroked his cock into her. Olivia dug her fingernails in his back. She felt the first stroke when his body slammed against her and she gripped him tighter. The second stroke sent another rush of fluid down her walls. She felt a third stroke and her eyes rolled back as her entire body shook.
"Fuck Olivia," Fitz cursed, so loud the girls might have woken up by the sound. "Fuck," he cursed again as he ground his hips into her.
Olivia met his thrust on the 5th stroke.
He didn't remember their sex being so good. The way his body reacted, the way his gut burned with pleasure was not something he experienced with anyone else, ever.
He reached for her closer and crashed his lips against hers again, licking, sucking and kissing any surface of skin he could find. He even tasted the bitter taste of the serums on her face but he didn't even care.
After a few more frantic uneven thrusts, the whole body began to spasm. He held her tighter, balancing himself and still fucking her even though he felt his cum draining out of the tip of his cock and into her while her walls pulsating on him. Olivia cried actual tears as her orgasm rolled over her and her body shook uncontrollably.
So many things seemed to be happening at once, she was crying, while squirting and orgasming and shaking and Fitz was still fucking her, it was overwhelming most sweetly.
She dug her fingers in his back and closed her eyes. As he orgasm wound down, she felt Fitz slow down as his wound down as well. After a few seconds, he stopped and took a deep breath to get some air into his body.
He was propping up Olivia who was slumped against his body and breathing lightly.
His penis was feeling sensitive now and he could feel her contracting around him now that her orgasm had passed. He slowly eased her up and tried to pull out but she stopped him.
"No, I want to feel you for a little while longer."
Fitz nodded and kissed her lips softly. He noticed her eyes were a little swollen and red and then he remembered the crying and chuckled.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing?"
"What?" she asked again this time with a little smile.
"That was fucking insane."
She chuckled and relaxed her body a little.
"Can I pull out now?" he asked, even though not much time had passed.
She nodded and eased her hips up so he could pull out. The second he removed his penis a blob of semen splattered on the marble floor. When Olivia saw that she remembered.
"Would now be a bad time to tell you I'm not on birth control?"
"What?"
Olivia chuckled, "after I gave birth I didn't really need to go back on it so I never did but don't worry, I'm not ovulating."
"I did offer to do a vasectomy right? I kind of remember that."
"You did because my IUD punctured my uterus but I think you shouldn't do that until we're sure we're finished having children."
"So you're gonna go back on the IUD?"
"I mean, I think so, I kind of like it, it stopped my period which was convenient and I kind of could just forget about after I put it in."
Fitz nodded, "okay, it's your decision, whatever you decide."
Olivia smiled, pleased with his answer.
He took a few of her napkins and cleaned up her legs and wiped her up then threw them out. He stopped and stared at her for a while.
"You are so beautiful."
He smiled and walked over and kissed under her neck softly and then caressed her cheek.
"I just..I'm so lucky to have you." Fitz shook his head, "the fact that you waited almost 5 years so for me," his eyes filled with tears, "I'm gonna work every day to make it worth it. I'm gonna make it up to you okay."
Olivia smiled.
"You're already worth it Fitz."
He smiled and nodded.
"No I'm not, but I will be."
Olivia fought back tears.
"Don't say that you're gonna make me cry because it's not true."
"I'm sorry, I just need you to know how I feel."
"I know," she said with a nod. "we have a lot to talk about, a lot changed."
"I know, I just wanted us to have a few days alone with the girls before we get into everything and let everyone know I'm back."
Olivia nodded and reached for him and kissed him.
"I love you."
He smiled and then the man who held her earlier randomly flashed in his head.
"I love you too but wait- who was that guy who was holding you earlier, you guys were talking, I'm not jealous, I don't really deserve to be jealous, just curious."
Olivia smiled widely.
"You are gonna kill Erin," she began.
A/n - Sorry guys, had to stop somewhere, I'll pick up right here in the next chapter.