opening by newstardustdragon101
Kotae wa doko e sagashite
Where's my soul?
Overhaul stood over Gotham as the night shined before turning away as the bat signal lit the sky.
6
It's like a fear warui yume no you de
Mezametemo All I've got is bones
frvtrb hI'm in a panic? Get out, hurry
Oh, there're mysteries and miseries
Overhaul is walking through the streets of Gotham as one by one members of his team start to join him, Harely, Ivy, Catwoman, King Shark, Clayface, Sy, Psycho, Giganta, Blackfire all as they walk through Gotham.
Dead or alive hazama ni yurarete
Samayoeba Right to left to hell
Ronri no shoutai emo no shoutai
Odoru 1,2,3 steps on this dark stage
Barbara sighs watching her father bumbling around as he struggles to put on his pants while on the phone.
Raise your flag, march on, fight
Kamen no fuchi e te wo kakedo tada hone ga naru nomi
Wars and swords, tears and blood
Afuru chikara ga fui ni waraidashita
Batman is in the Batcave watching as Damian trains with his swords going through his rogues gallery.
Kotae wa doko e sagashite
Where's my soul? Where's my heart?
Riaru ni nomareteku
Naruto and the gang ride with Sy in his car form evading the cops as Gordon furiously chases after them with a squad of cop cars.
Don't hesitate, go this way
Wakaranai kamawanai
Magai mono furuttemo
Naruto passes by Lois Lane's apartment giving her a wink which she returns. Gzsplntz blows Naruto a kiss
Tada kono sekai wo ikinuke yo
Aa nakushita kanashimi ga mata uzuiteku...
Misery-World
Overhaul and his gang rest in the hideout laughing as Harley throws cash up in the air, Overhaul stands at the top of the lair holding his hand out to the moon. Gripping his hand as it started to crumble
(Planetwide Pavers Factory)
Harlye frowned as she looked through her binoculars at the heavily guarded factory with people in Hazmat suits while Frank the plant drank a soda. It had been a hectic few days since Harley was abandoned by her crew after she made out with Joker. So much had happened in the past few days like dealing with the legion of doom meetings, going back home to talk to her mother about some of her issues, having to deal with her deadbeat father and several assassins who killed her grandparents trying to kill her only for her own father to try and kill her for a bounty with her mom interfering on his behalf. So much had gone wrong in such a short amount of time and now she found out from Frank that Ivy was captured and being experimented on.
"Ugh this is all my fault she's in there i can't even imagine what they're doing to her" Harley groaned out "you don't think it's like torture right?" Harley asked Frank
"I don't think it's like torture. That's motherfuckin torture right there" Frank said as he drank his soda
"Screw this I'm getting her out" Harley growled out grabbing her bat as Frank wrapped a vine around her arm
"That is a lot of big boys with guns and you're one petite young woman with a bat. They ain't gonna come at you one at a time. That's not how that shit works!" Frank exclaimed
"Huh thats actually standard goon operating procedure" Harley said before an old man walked to the factory entrance
"Excuse me. I'm so dang lost an-" the elderly man was saying before a hazmat suited goon hit a button and everyone opened fire on the old man. Shredding him with a barrage of bullets
"Oh they're doing the all at once way now" Harley mused
"You know what you need?" Frank asked
"More bats?" Harley asked raising an eyebrow at this
"More crew. You need your crew woman" Frank told her, making Harley sigh.
(Hours later)
Harley had brought Dr Psycho from his fortuneteller gig, Clayface from his job with Riddler, and King Shark from his IT job to at least hear her out. However there was still someone else she needed to contact. And so she sat in the mall holding her cellphone taking calming breaths
"OK Harley you can do this" she told herself before she made a call on her phone and after a few rings…
"I do believe Naruto had you blocked" Gsplntz said as she answered the phone with an annoyed tone
"I know I know but this is important. I need his help badly" Harley said with a firm tone
"What could you possibly need him for? Wait let me guess you want to make out with Joker in front of him again. You want him to nuke a city? Cause that's how you get nuked cities." Gsplntz said flatly
"I'm not gonna- look just send him to the mall. Please. The rest of the crew is here and I need to talk with them all" Harley pleaded
"Why should he help you?" Gsplntz asked getting annoyed at Harley not saying anything
"for fucks skae Harley Ivy has been kidnapped and-" Frank yelled tired of Harley just not saying it on the phone
"…..ah hell hold on oi! Stop groping kitana and Jade! You have a mission back In Gotham!" Gsplntz yelled
"Take a message I'm about to seal the deal damn it!" Naruto was heard yelling as the sounds of flesh slapping flesh echoed through the speaker
"Ivy's been kidnapped!" Gsplntz yelled loudly
"What? What?! WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!" Naruto's voice was heard yelling Before a green portal opened up in front of Harley as Naruto came running through in his underwear "Sindel you're in charge till I get back! Keep the concubines in line!" Naruto yelled as the portal closed
"So you'll help? What about Blackfire and the others?" Harley asked curiously
"They are busy training up my troops so they are actually competent. Fucking Shao Khan had his troops just rely on pure brute force and brutality. Anyways start talking what happened to my favorite redhead?" Naruto asked Harley
"Can you put a shirt on first?" Dr Psycho asked with a flat tone of voice
"Jealous you don't have abs like me short round?" Naruto asked smirking before Harley threw his clothes at him
"Put your clothes on dammit" Harley ordered as she already had a headache
"I don't take orders from you. Be glad I didn't show up naked. Hell maybe I'll help you find Ivy while streaking. That'd be fun for me" Naruto told her with a smug tone
"Oh for the- Dude Ivy kidnapped! Focus!" Frank yelled at Naruto
"OK OK OK, so who the hell kidnapped her? I want to know the next of kin I will need to send the corpse to" Naruto said as he put on his clothes
"Scarecrow" Clayface told him as Harley had already filled them in before Naruto arrived
"Oh goody! He's on my bucket list! I wanted to ice that fucker since the moment I met him!" Naruto exclaimed giddily
"What did he do?" Shark asked curiously as he figured the villain must have done something to piss him off if he made his list
"Fucker ripped me off. That fear toxin of his was weak shit to get high on. Fucking quality product my ass and charging me triple the price" Naruto grunted
"You got high of fear toxin?" Dr Psycho asked baffled
"No I didn't. That's the problem. Most it did was make me see my deepest darkest fears. Fucking weak shit" Naruto grumbled
"OK I'm gonna regret asking this, what did you see?" Harley asked
"I saw myself in a monogamous relationship with a total number 2 out of 10. No tits, no ass and a total narcissist. Nothing enjoyable about the woman I was with. It was horrible but still weak" Naruto sighed
"You saw yourself with Rachel Zeigler?" Harley asked curiously
"Ha! don't think you can make up with me with a good joke woman" Naruto told Harley with a smirk
"What's happenin?! What's shaking? We pullin a caper?" Sy Borgman asked rolling into the room to see everyone talking
"Oh wow you must be desperate if you're recruiting him" Naruto said surprised at the old man
"I wasn't but I'll take what I can get" Harley admitted
"We already know your back with Joker no need to announce it" Naruto said with a scoff before he yelled as Harley's bat hit him in the head
"I'm not with fucking Joker! That kiss was stupid fucking mistake!" Harley yelled in a rage
"Sure like we believe that" Shark said with a scoff
"Alright enough of this, let's go rescue Ivory or whoever. I'll drive" Sy Borgman said as he led the way outside
"... i think I'll walk" Naruto said with a flat tone of voice
"What? I'm an excellent (snores)" Sy said before Falling asleep mid sentence
"Maybe I should call my forces" Naruto admitted cause if this was the best plan they were screwed
"Ah yes how is your new empire my old friend?" Clayface asked as he looked at Naruto
"Pretty cool if you guys need jobs there's spots open as army commanders. Not for you tattoo and Joker's side piece!" Naruto was saying before he yelled at Psycho and Harley
"I don't need a job from someone who's mommy mocked them on live tv manwhore" Psycho said with a scoff
"And I'm not the Joker's side Piece!" Harley yelled angrily
"Side Piece. Stale old bread brought to the table. Call yourself what you want" Naruto said with a shrug
"Oh fuck you asshole! I made a stupid mistake and I own that. You don't have to keep shoving it in my damn face!" Harley yelled out in a rage
"Well I ain't touching you with the other stuff I used to shove in your face. Now can we move along with this? I have a hot empress to plow as soon as I get back to Outworld" Naruto said
"Driver!" Sy yelled waking up finishing his sentence "what? Let's go kiddies we're burning daylight" Sy told them
(In the van on the road)
"Hey get out of the ugh you schmuck!" Sy yelled driving the van before seeing a man with a cane try to cross the road "come on! If you don't wanna die, get out of the road!" Sy exclaimed swerving around them
"Don't throw up. Don't throw up" Shark told himself as he tried not to vomit from Sy's driving while Harley was thrown into Naruto's lap from the sudden swerve
"Watch it" Naruto grunted out as he pushed Harley off of him onto the seat. Still pissed at her
"Stop verbalizing it! You're gonna make me-blergh!!!" Clayface yelled before vomiting up clay which just covered and remerged with his normal clay body
"... I don't know how you live with yourself" Shark said with a deadpan tone as he Harley and Naruto looked on flatly at the Clay villain. Before the Van suddenly braked, sending them all crashing to the floor. Harley on top of Naruto with her breasts pressed into hisnface as she straddled him from the fall.
"If this were any other woman this would be fine with md" Naruto grumbled. His voice muffled from between her tits
"Tell that to what's poking my ass" Harley said with a scoff
"I'm only human well half human. Ok non human. Half demon disguised as a human" Naruto said as Harley got off of him
"You are one day gonna have to explain your heritage to us" Shark said as he rubbed his head
"Sure but not today" Naruto said smirking
"Hey buddy boy! Where do you want me to set up the pretzel wrapped weiners?" Sy asked a hazmat suited guard outside the factory
The guard looked at a clipboard before looking at the other guards and shook his head as one clicked a button to sound an alarm as they leveled guns at the van. Before Any of them could react a guard suddenly ran over
"Pretzel wrapped weiners?! Oh boy! What's the occasion?" The idiotic guard asked with an excited smile
"It's a big thank you from the boss for all your hard work" Harley said handing the guard a pretzel wrapped hotdog
"Oh wow. You think they don't notice but they notice!" The guard said happily as he took a bite "let them in!" The guard demanded before singing a tune
"Please let me kill him? I'll be doing the world a favor" Naruto pleaded annoyed as the van drove through the factory gates
"Focus you moron. Besides, you hate doing good deeds, remember?" Harley pointed out as she scoffed
"... you make a compelling argument" Naruto admitted as Sy suddenly stopped the van as guards rushed them clamoring for hotdogs wrapped up in pretzels
"Gentlemen and Psycho. Begin phase 2" Harley ordered with a smirk after handing out the hotdogs. The crew came out of the van and grabbed a bunch of the guards while they were eating and knocked them out before dragging them into the van to take their hazmat suits for a disguise
"Does my ass look fat in this thing?" Harley asked
"Yes" Naruto said flatly as he threw on his own hazmat suit
"Remind me to claw your eyes out later" Harley said with a scowl
"Hey I didn't say I wouldn't take a crack at it it's definitely in the top 3. I just don't fuck Joker's side pieces. I have some standards" Naruto said with a firm tone
"Ok so you can whore yourself out to any woman with a rack but I kiss Joker and I'm the horrible person?" Harley asked as Hey eyebrow twitched
"Yup. Glad we had this talk?" Naruto asked as he smirked before the crew started to make their way to the factory in disguise
"Oh please he's obviously just mad cause he actually cares about her" Psycho grumbled under his breath before he and the others suddenly tripped in their clunky suits
"Most definitely" Shark said from the ground while Clayface nodded in agreement
"Oi! I heard that! I Do not care for her!" Naruto yelled
"Oh please if Joker showed up and smacked the hell out of me like the old days yo-" Harley was saying before Naruto cut her off
"He did what?!?! That son of a bitch! How dare he strike a woman! You only hit them if they ask for it in bed dammit! Like power girl does" Naruto yelled
"……oh my God you actually care about me" Harley said with a grin
"Nope! Lies and slander! I do not care for anyone! I am evil down to my pitch black heart!" Naruto yelled as he opened the door to the factory using a key card as they entered the green gas filled factory
"So the fact that you only came here to save Ivy? Psycho asked curiously
"Don't test me Mr Frodo! I will kick your ass back to the shire! Besides I'm gonna kill Crane and then fuck Ivy's sweet sugary ass on his fucking grave!" Naruto growled out
"So Clayface off topic but how was henching for Riddler? Was it fun? I heard his breath stinks but the person who told me had nasty breath so he could be an unreliable source" Shark questioned
"That's who you got work with? Oh god I'm so sorry you had to deal with that jackass. Did he have you make those stupid trophies?" Naruto asked
"Guys shut it! We can't find Ivy if we can't hear her" Harley hissed out before they suddenly heard Ivy's scream coming from down the hallway
"And so ends that long and enduring search" Psycho said flatly as they ran forward to where Ivy's voice was coming from
"Knock knock bitch!" Naruto yelled as he slammed his left hand against the sliding door and a moment later the door was decayed to reveal Ivy in a surgical gown shackled to a table screaming her lungs out with no one else around
"Oh god what did they do to her?!" Harley yelled
"I fear they poisoned Ivy." Clayface said grabbing a nearby canister labeled fear toxin which gained him flat looks from the others
"Really? Nothing? Should've saved that for a lower stakes situation" Clayface muttered
"Naruto can you Overhaul whatevers messing with her out of her?" Harley asked
"Bitch who you talking to. Of course I can." Naruto said as he grabbed aivy with his right hand and overhauled her into paste before reforming her yet she still screamed "ah so bad news whatever Scarecrow did was made with her dna and I can't tell what's her dna or the poisons." Naruto said with a frown
"Yeah we should hurry this up. The fear toxin's destroying her brain so if we don't do something soon she's gonna be stuck like this forever" Psycho said scanning her with telepathy
"Don't worry I know just how to save her" Harley said before punching Ivy in the face knocking her out
"Why the fuck did you do that?" Psycho asked
"I had to knock her out so we could get into her brain. Like I was knocked out when we went into mine" Harley said
"Uh no. You just happened to be knocked out before. So really all you've done is punch your friend in the face you idiot" Psycho said with a groan of irritation
"Oh well whoops" Harley responded sheepishly
"Next time you two want to punch each other can you at least do it in a mud wrestling pit?" Naruto asked as he held up his hand
"Ignoring that. Let's just get in there and fix her up and let's not mention the whole face punching thingy to her" Harley said with a sheepish chuckle
"but If we go in her brain that'd leave our bodies out here all cute and unprotected" Shark said
"OK then Harley you go in while I keep watch" Naruto said with a firm tone
"Or I'll watch your bodies" Sy offered as he approached
"...Harley you go in and I'll make sure he Doesn't watch over you" Naruto offered
"Yeah I'm with the manwhore here. Last time you were around our bodies you tried to incinerate them" Psycho said as he looked at the old man
"Hey. I could've done much worse." Sy said as he waved his hand dismissively
"Not the point. Harley you and psycho and the others go in. I'll stay out here with the old man in case of guards" Naruto said as He cracked his knuckles
"This mean you forgive me?" Harley asked as Naruto protecting her was a good sign in her eyes
"Nope. I just want to kill these assholes. I always enjoy slaughtering people just doing their jobs. It makes their cries and pleas sound so heartbreaking and hilarious" Naruto said with a smirk
"... anyone tell you you're a few fries short of a happy meal?" Psycho asked as he looked at Naruto with a bewildered look
"Happy meal? Where? I want my szechuan sauce dammit!" Naruto yelled as he looked around
"... yeah not touching that one. Ok in we go" Psycho said as all of them held hands and entered Ivy's mind. Leaving Sy and Naruto alone
As Harley fell over Naruto paused as her ass was more pronounced after she fell
"….yea hey babe! I need a favor!" Naruto said as he took out his phone and hit the speed dial
"I'm not wearing Harley's booty shorts" Raven's voice said with a flat tone
"wait that was an option? Fuck! Memo to us for cosplay night. Or wait maybe Mileena should wear those" Naruto mused
"What do you want?" Raven asked with a sigh
"I want you waiting in my bed bent over and ready to go." Naruto demanded
"…….let me guess Harley got to you?" Raven asked flatly
"Damn it woman just be ready! We should be almost done here. They're fixing Ivy's head right now and when I'm done you and I are going for a trip to pound town" Naruto exclaimed
"Oh fine, seeing as you are saving a friend I had an idea to reward you anyway" Raven said smirking lightly using a sensual tone she knew got Naruto going
"…….I want you in the WORST WAY!" Naruto growled as his eyes glowed lightly
Raven chuckled at this as she hung up
"Ok we are super duper. Hunky dory. A ok (snores)" Sy was saying before he fell asleep his head hitting an alarm button as guards rushed in
"Dad dammit" Naruto groaned "alright all you low paid assholes line up. You're about to get some new health benefits. I call it free cremation" Naruto said as he walked over to the guards entering and grabbed one's face and decayed him
"Oh shit! Waste this bastard!" A guard yelled as 10 of them brought out guns
"A bastard I am but at least I can get laid!" Naruto yelled smirking as he rushed at one of the guards and overhauled him into paste before turning to the other eight guards and cackling. "So boys, a little question. Are any of you married?" Naruto asked smriking
"I am" one said raising his hand briefly from his gun before Naruto was in front of him in a burst of speed and overhauled him into a bloody smear
"I'll give her the bad news about your death. After she's done riding my dick!" Naruto cackled with insane glee
"What the fuck is he?!" A guard yelled terrified
"A real fucking villain" Naruto said smirking before he rushed at the others and turned them all into smears of red on the wall.
"Ah that was fun!" Naruto chuckled as Harley and the others woke up from their mental excursion to see all the blood
"Holy shit!" Psycho said wide eyed
"Why was I her greatest fear?" Harley asked herself ignoring the carnage
"What the fuck?" Ivy asked wide eyed as she looked around to see the blood and gore
"Red welcome back to the world of the living. Good to see you back to your normal, sexy self again. Also since you're not screaming like crazy digging the gown and the lack of panties underneath it" Naruto said smirking at the redhead
"Fuck off you perv. And who the fuck braided my hair?" Ivy asked seeing a hair braid
"I was bored" Sy said simply
"I like it" Naruto admitted as he looked at her hair
"oh…..um thanks" Ivy said to Naruto surprised at this compliment
"yeah it looks like it'd be hot to hold and grab while I'm behind you balls deep- gah! Cut the crap!" Naruto yelled as Harley walked over and slapped him on the back of his head
"There it is. Look we have way bigger problems. Scarecrow is about to destroy Gotham" Ivy said
"And the bad news?" Naruto asked raising a eyebrow at this
"your stuff that's in Gotham?" Psycho pointed out
"Ha! Nice try I can steal more, What's my incentive to save Gotham? I have a whole realm to rule over with my harem of sexy sluts." Naruto pointed out
"Realm?" Ivy asked raising a eyebrow at this
"Long story" Harley said with a groan at this
"Hey I am an emperor now! I will be shown the proper respect I deserve. Especially if you want me to help save this dunghill of a city" Naruto said
"A bowl of ramen and a threesome from both me and red?" Harley offered
"Sold! Let's go ice Scarecrow! I'm gonna enjoy killing Crane!" Naruto yelled happily
"Sellout " Psycho coughed into his fist at Naruto caving so easily
"Your ex seems happy with What I sell her. All night. Over and over and over again. That reminds me I should bring her to the palace later" Naruto mused
"Let's go" Ivy said leading them out the room
"Wait Ive. Why am I your biggest fear?" Harley asked as everyone followed after her
"Harley I can't talk about this right now" Ivy said as she tried to change the subject
"Is it because when we go out to eat I ask to see a Dessert menu and it makes dinner last 5 minutes longer?" Harley asked curiously
"No but I do hate that cause you never order anything" Ivy admitted
"I always forget we have cookies at home" Harley said with a pout
"What's wrong with that? Sound reasoning to me. Then again I guess I'm more of a social butterfly compared to you red" Naruto said with a shrug
"Last time you Were socializing you painted a bar red with the blood of the customers" Shark said
"They sold me mozzarella sticks and tried to charge me a premium for Sauce! They had it coming!" Naruto declared
"Look Ive I can't go on not knowing why I'm some bad guy in your brain setting fire to things and shit" Harley said
"Probably cause she's into you" Naruto said with a scoff
"huh?" Harley asked as she looked at Naruto
"what?" Ivy asked also looking at the blonde
"Let's put it into perspective. You two are clearly close friends that Have Been through a lot. Ivy has on multiple occasions tried to steer you away from Joker and any and all the harm he's caused you. Mentally, physically, whatever. And each time it nearly works only for you to revert back undoing any and all progress. She fears you because time and time again you make her think you'll change when in reality you never do." Naruto said calmly as if he had this prepared
"Since when are you a therapist?" Clayface asked curiously
"I gave myself a doctorate when I took over Outworld" Naruto said simply
"All this and you couldn't tell I regretted kissing Joker?" Harley asked baffled
"Oh I know you do" Naruto admitted
"…..then why were you giving me crap?!" Harley growled out
"Maybe cause I find it hot as hell when you're determined to prove yourself. Or maybe because I'm a lunatic killer with a penchant for chaos. Take your pick" Naruto said simply
"I'm gonna vote for all of the above" Psycho said
"Same" Shark said as he raised his hand
"I agree with my two compatriots here" Clayface said raising his hand
"I'd raise my hand but my arm is sore" Sy said
"Look we can worry about Naruto's crazy shit later. We need to go stop Scarecrow from waging biological with my pheromones" Ivy said
"Hey I'm not as bad as my mom. You should see her when she's building a snowman" Naruto said with a shudder
"What does She Make an evil frosty the snowman who eats people or some shit?" Psycho asked
"No she makes a snowman out of coke and snorts the whole thing. Last time she did that she ended up beating the shit out of Lobo with his own bike" Naruto admitted
"Your mom can take on Lobo?!" everyone but Ivy yelled in shock at this
"It's not that impressive when you know her powers fucking life hack bullshit. He's a cool guy though. We usually hang out cracking space beers" Naruto admitted
"Hey so I just found something. It ain't just Scarecrow we're after" Psycho said holding up a piece of paper with the legion of doom's logo on the paperwork for Scarecrows experiment on Ivy
"Legion of Doom?! Those pricks!" Harley yelled angrily
"Ok going after one of my favorite gals is the line! Can I please kill Lex? I'll make him wish it was my mother after him again when I'm done with him!" Naruto yelled
"What did she do to him?" Clayface asked curiously
"She pranked him by giving him a stethoscope that made him retarded for a weekend. Also she made him bald. Separate thing from that but it's the reason he hates her" Naruto said with a grin before they got outside and saw the van get towed
"Fuck! the van!" Harley yelled angrily seeing this
"Alright I guess I'll just turn into a car" Sy sighed
"Wait, what?" Naruto asked as Sy clicked a button on his arm
"Yeah in 1984 a toy company came out with a new line. It was a huge success and the CIA took notice. For my last assignment I underwent a procedure using an experimental technology. It changed me forever it made me a transchanger" Sy said as his body literally ripped apart and turned into a car with his head as a hood ornament and turrets on the back of the car
"... I thought you'd be against transgender stuff" Naruto said quirking an eyebrow while everyone else freaked out form the gorey transformation
"Trabschanger you moron! Now get in me!" Sy yelled
"This is the only time I'm getting inside of a man" Naruto said flatly as he got in with the others
"so…..one of your favorite gals?" Ivy asked raising an eyebrow at Naruto
"Hush trick!" Naruto yelled as he smacked her ass before she got Into the van as they sped off to the Harley Quinn Highway to see a convoy of four trucks driven by scarecrow and his goons on the crazy highway
"I don't think I've ever ridden on the Harley Quinn Highway" Shark said sitting in a gun turret
"They let me design it myself when I threatened to nuke the city. Kind of regretting some of my creative choices" Harley admitted
"Wouldn't be the first crazy Harley I've ridden on, and this one doesn't yell pull my hair daddy" Naruto said with a smirk as they drove off a ramp through two rings of fire and a shark pit in between
"It was one time!" Harley yelled at Naruto obviously not amused
"No it wasn't" Ivy said flatly
"... ok it was a lot of times, may be crazy but fuck is he good" Harley admitted
"damn straight!" Naruto yelled with a prideful smile
"I think the trucks are bullet proof" Shark yelled as he fired at a truck from the turret and it did nothing
"Pull me up to them" Naruto ordered as he rolled down one of the windows and ungloved his hands
"Alright!" Sy yelled as he drove himself as fast as he could to catch up to the side of truck
"This is for kidnapping one of my best bitches!" Naruto yelled slamming his right hand on the truck to overhaul it by making it crush in on itself sending blood flying from the crushed bodies inside "one down three more to go. Lets get fucking bloody!" Naruto yelled
"Oh shit they brought Overhaul!" Scarecrow yelled as he took off as fast as possible
"Get back here Crane! The Wizard of Oz sent me to deliver your brain! Gahahahahahaha!" Naruto cackled as he overhauled a second truck and killed the crew inside
" …….fuck I think im falling for him" Harley grumbled under her breath at this as they pulled up to the third truck and crushed it with another overhaul
"Alright three trucks now for Crane! I'm gonna fucking enjoy killing you so much asshole! Kidnap my bitch and sell me weak as fuck product! Say hi to my dad in hell when you get there… if he's not still retired in California " Naruto said as they pulled up to Scarecrows truck
"I told you that was meant for use on Batman not yourself!" Scarecrow yelled out
"You think that weak pussy shot would've affected him? Don't make me laugh!" Naruto yelled as he slammed his left hand on the truck and started to decay it
"Oh shit!" Scarecrow yelled as he jumped out the door of the truck grabbing a canister of his modified fear toxin and leapt into the reservoir below with it. Which the water then caused trees in the nearby park to become infected and turn into walking, man eating monstrosities.
"Huh trees eating people. Gotta admit I'm kind of impressed" Naruto admitted as trees started to run rampant eating others
"Fuck we gotta stop this! If we don't we have to move and there's no way I'm living in Metropolis!" Harley yelled watching as the mutant trees at a bunch of civilians
"You know I own a realm right? You and Ivy can both live there if you want" Naruto pointed out
"What about us?" Psycho asked as he pointed at himself
"What about you?" Naruto asked flatly
"Hey!" Shark yelled offended while Clayface frowned
"What? I gave you and clay the offer which still stands. Psycho's the only one I have no issues if he becomes mulch. Though if he is OK with being my court jester and taking orders from many women I can maybe see letting him come" Naruto said with a smirk.
"I'd rather die" Psycho said flatly
"OK so all in favor of us bailing to Outworld say - yow! Let go I need that woman!" Naruto yelled as Ivy twisted his ear
"We're not gonna bail until we have zero options" Ivy told him
"Ives right. So let's have her just control those trees to stop killing things" Harley suggested
"And if you try to bail I'm gonna take what makes you a man and rip it off!" Ivy yelled letting go of Naruto's ear
"My man card? You'll never take it from me! Never! I went through hell to get that thing!" Naruto yelled
"She means she's gonna have you fixed you idiot" Harley said with an eye roll
"……oh hell nah! no way I'm getting the Bob Barker treatment! Spay and neuter psycho instead!" Naruto yelled as he pointed at the psychic
"Fuck you all!" Psycho yelled as the group leapt down to the park to confront the mutant trees. Ivy immediately tried to control one to stop it from eating a Balloon vendor.
"Stop! Put him down!" Ivy ordered only for the tree to ignore her and eat the man before growling and shambling towards her "ok so I can't control them!" Ivy yelled back at the others
"Will they respond to heavy scolding?" Harley asked curiously
"Do they look asian?" Naruto asked flatly
"Just run!" Harley yelled at her crew as they all ran away from the angry tree army as they fired razor sharp leaf needles
"Agh this is my favorite top you dicks!" Ivy yelled as her jacket now had a hole in the collar
"That razor leaf shit actually works? I owe Nintendo an apology!" Naruto yelled as he ducked under some razor leafs which hit Sy in the back above his wheelchair
"Ugh!! Sweet Roosevelt's ghost!" Sy yelled as he suddenly stood up from his wheelchair from the hit "acupuncture works! I'm healed baby!" he yelled happily
His joy was cut short as more razor leafs flew into his non cyborg leg "agh! Easy come easy go!" Sy sighed as he fell back into his wheelchair
"Agh! I am slain!" Clauface yelled as he was hit by a barrage of leaves
"Clayface is this for real or an acting death scene?" Naruto asked as he took cover behind a boulder
"I was going to perform a scene yes" Clayface admitted with a sigh at his dramatic scene being ruined
"Hey why aren't you decaying these giant trees trying to kill us" Harley asked Naruto
"Cause I don't want red pissed at me for killing off trees" Naruto said with a shrug
"Now you're kissing my ass? just do it!" Ivy yelled as they all took cover
"Well now if you want me to kiss it just remove those pants and bend over baby" Naruto said with a smirk before Ivy slapped him
"Earn it!" Ivy yelled as she hid with Harley
"Fuck me now that's incentive! Hey tree minions! Let me show you something!" Naruto yelled as he placed his left hand on the ground and sent a wave of decay at the approaching trees and turned them and the ground to ash
"Nove job overhaul. Now you just need to do that to the rest of the trees" Harley said pointing at the trees eating people throughout the park
"…..fuck that's a lot of Them hold on" Naruto said as he took out his phone and hit the speed dial
"Yes darling?" Gsplntz answered
"hey Gspy, I need a favor. Giant Mutant trees attacking Gotham. Not involving me this time. Do me A favor And call Wonder juggs. Tell her if she brings the league I'll give Her 10 free Sessions" Naruto requested
"I'm afraid that won't be possible to get the justice league" Gsplntz said with a bored tone
"Oh god damn it! which fuck wad is distracting the league of dipshits this time?!" Naruto demanded
"your mother" Gsplntz responded
"……retracted ok backup plan have Sindel Lead the armies of Outworld here! Open a portal at my location. Bring everyone who can fight. Anyone who can't bring as meat shields and bait!" Naruto ordered
"Yes dear" Gsplntz said before hanging up
As the call ended a massive green portal opened behind Naruto and what looked like an army of Tarkatans, Centaurs, and Shokans ran out roaring with weapons in hand as they rushed towards the mutant trees.
"I'm surprised you called your army to deal with them. You're usually the type to let heroes deal with this crap" Harley admitted watching a tarkatan stab a tree with their arm blades
"They have their hands full" Naruto said with a slight shudder
(In Vegas)
Meanwhile, a Las Vegas casino suddenly exploded as Aquaman was sent crashing through the roof of said casino. The structure toppling down as Superman, Wonder Woman, Hal Jordan, Martian Manhunter, and Green arrow escaped the collapsing building
"Everyone ok?" Superman asked as he hovered in the air
"I'm fine Where's Aquaman?" Flash asked as he ran over
"He thought he could take me on! That weak little bastard! No Wonder my son cucked his weak pansy ass!" A female voice yelled as Kushina walked out from the collapsing building
"This ends now" Superman said as he flew at Kushina
"The air around Kushina Uzumaki is the equivalent of green kryptonite" Kushina said with a cruel smirk as a swirl symbol appeared around her and started to affect the air around her. As soon as Superman got close to it he crashed into the ground groaning in agonizing pain.
"Supes!" Flash yelled as he planned to run and get his pal out of the area
"Barry Allen when fighting in Vegas you are as slow as a mortal" Kushina said as he rushed over to grab superman when Kushina placed a hand on his shoulder just as he bent down to pick him up with his super speed
"What?!" Barry yelled as he tried to run away with Superman before he found himself not speeding up. He was as fast as the average human carrying a kryptonian
Kushina smiled cruelly as she slugged Barry in the back of the head sending him into the dirt "aww poor fool. But I guess Iris will be happy You're not a quickshot in bed now" Kushina said with a cackle
"Enough games!" Hal Jordan yelled as he tried to cage Kushina with his lantern ring
"the clothing of Kushina Uzumaki will turn yellow" Kushina declared as she grabbed herself as the cage surrounded her only for it to disperse the moment it made contact with her now yellow clothing
"What in Hera's name is this power of hers" wonder woman asked as she readied her sword and shield
The Martian manhunter read Kushina's mind and after a few moments his eyes widened in surprise
"that's right green boy. I'm unstoppable. You fools will die if you don't let me get back to my coke binge" Kushina declared smirking
"What's her power Jonn?" Hal asked as he scowled at this
"S-she can warp reality around her. Be it her body, the air, anything she can touch" Jonn said with a horrified tone
"my brat calls it new order seeing as I have to give the order to change whatever I'm changing, gotta say it's pretty fitting Kushina said with a grin at this
"Anything she can touch huh?" Green arrow asked as he drew his bow "let's see her try against me" he said before letting loose an arrow which Kushina caught with her hand before she crushed it easily
"OK how the fuck is he in your team of heroes? This an inclusion thing? Gotta meet your quota of useless members? Or is this a funding thing for backup without Bruce Around" Kushina asked as the league paled hearing this
"Oh that's right. I know who all of you are. Every single member of the league. Every hero. Every villain. I know every identity. So tell me boys and wonder stripper. How fucked are you?" Kushina asked smirking at the heroes before she charged at them
(With Naruto and the others)
"Ok getting real sick of these trees!" Naruto growled out as he decayed another tree
"Calm yourself husband" Sindel told him as she wrapped her hair around a tree and ripped it in half while Mileena stabbed another with sais alongside Kitana using her fans and Jade using her staff
"Husband?" Ivy asked with a raised eyebrow
"Long story will explain when we're not in danger and- oh god is Gordon driving a tank?!" Naruto yelled
"Overhaul! Finally I shall have my vengeance on you for fucking my daughter!" Gordon yelled driving a tank through the park
"Really I'm the concern? Not the giant fucking tree monsters?!" Naruto yelled at the police commissioner
"Yes! You defiled my baby girl!" Gordon yelled as he continued to drive his tank
"Hey she asked for it! she had a ridding crop for fucks sake! That bitch is kinky as hell!" Naruto yelled as he ran from the tank
"And fucked my wife!" Gordon yelled
"Well you Weren't fucking her and she paid a premium!" Naruto yelled
"And stole my good Whiskey!" Gordon yelled
"... I don't remember doing that" Naruto admitted
"Oh… I'm blaming you anyways!" Gordon yelled before a large amount of silver hair wrapped around his throat and pulled him out of the tank
"You will not threaten my emperor you miserable plebian" Sindel declared with a glare at the commissioner
"... dear god I'm fucking her brains out later" Naruto declared with a smirk before Harley leapt into the tank and attacked the other cops manning it
"Hey, we have a tank now. Your army's dealing with the trees so let's go blow up the legion of doom" Harley declared happily
"This is the happiest moment of my life! I finally get to destroy that shitty building!" Naruto laughed as he jumped onto the tank with the rest of the crew "Sindel you and Blackfire are in charge. Kill the rest of these trees. And if any civilians die…. Meh" Naruto ordered as they drove to the legion building
"I hereby tender my resignation from this shitty legion!" Harley yelled as she fired her tank
"Good thing my bitches that work there are off today." Naruto mused. Before the missile could connect however the building exploded as a giant purple and green tower erupted from the ground
"Hello Gotham! Joker here!" Joker's voice declared from a viewscreen
"Oh god this asshole. Wake me when he says something interesting" Naruto groaned out
"You know the legion used to stand for something. At least until it started letting in second rate clowns with cheap dye jobs" Joker declared
"How dare he! I go to a very high end salon every week." Harley yelled
"Harls I've seen you neck deep in six different bottles you bought at the drugstore" Ivy said as she shook her head
"Damn it I forgot you were here" Harley groaned out
"Gotham deserves better for a villain. Someone elegant. Someone who speaks French!" Joker declared
"Don't think you can suck up to me asshole!" Naruto yelled out loudly thinking the mad clown meant him
"Not you, you joke! I mean Moi of course!" Joker declared as he had a giant harpoon raise from the eye of his face on the tower as it fired a Harpoon at a clocktower with a flag of his face
"Well at least we have a tank still to fuck him up with" Harley declared before another tabk was thrown into theirs crashing it as the group got out of the wreckage
"... I hate to be a downer but we are utterly screwed. Actually I didn't hate it that much. Maybe I enjoy being a downer" Shark said as they all tried to get to safely
"Well we're out of plans so here's my idea. Ivy drinks some of that liquid that's mutating the trees and becomes stronger and destroy the tower" Psycho said as he looked at the group
"That was an option?" Harley asked wide eyed
"We don't know if it works like that" Naruto said as he crossed his arms
"Eh I'll give it a shot" Ivy sighed out. It was either she tried this or they died. Ivy ran to a hose spewing the chemical laced water before drinking it as she suddenly grew to the size of a building. Her clothes ripping apart as she grew till she was in effectively a gray skirt and a white torn top
"fuck that's hot!" Naruto yelled seeing the giant Ivy before she rushed over to some mutant trees and gave one a backbreaker destroying it as more rushed her
"Ive you look great!" Harley yelled watching her stomp a giant mutant tree
"You think? I didn't go too big?" Ivy asked as she turned to show off her new look
"No way you're pulling it off! Honestly you could've gone bigger" Harley told her
"Yea you look great babe!" Naruto yelled as he gave a double thumbs up
"thirty bucks if you put me in your pocket!" Psycho yelled waving a wad of cash getting looks "what? I got a type. You knew this" Psycho said putting away the money
Before Naruto slugged him in the head shoving him into the dirt
As this happened a tree mutant leapt from underground and grabbed Harley and ran. Before Ivy ran after the mutant tree and punched a hole through it killing it and grabbed Harley
"Ive you saved me! And killed trees for us! I didn't think you cared about anything more than trees" Harley said with a smile
"Well yea i guess there's a handful of exceptions" Ivy said
"That include me?" Naruto asked striding over
"……we will see" Ivy said with a slight coy smile
"Look Ivy I'm sorry about everything that happened before all this. We good?" Harley asked
"Sigh. Wouldn't it be messed up if I ate you right now?" Ivy asked with a smirk before she and Harley laughed.
Their laughter was cut short as a harpoon suddenly impaled Ivy through her back and exiting out her chest in a shower of green blood
"Ivy! Naruto heal her!" Harley yelled as Naruto rushed over
"Don't die on me red! Don't die on me!" Naruto yelled as he went to reach for her before her eyes closed and flowers started to bloom around her now lifeless body
"Sorry" Ivy said with one last smile as she took her final breath as Joker laughed over the view screen
Naruto's eyes went wide seeing this before he growled as he glared at the Jokers giant tv screen "you think i'm a joke?! I'll show you a joke! Now you're gonna see what happens when I stop holding back!" he declared as his hair started to turn white as he ripped the glove off his decay hand and grabbed the ground which instantly cracked and started to die "she's gone so now I'll destroy everything!" Naruto yelled as the ground started to crack as a large storm of ash started to burst from around Naruto
Everyone's eyes widened seeing this before Raven's shadow engulfed all of them, including Ivy's body as everything went to hell in the park. Portals opened up for the outworld forces to escape from what was coming
"JOKER! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE FUCKING DEVIL IN THE PALE MOONLIGHT RIGHT?! I'LL SHOW YOU A REAL FUCKING DEVIL!" Naruto yelled as his eyes turned red while his decay hand started to crack and bleed