Will was quiet in the morning when we boarded the train to Scotland, not even Rigel pawing at him brought about more than a grunt. Which meant that I was the one to flag down porters to load our trunks and arrange for their transfer down the line. Eventually I settled into a compartment with him, Rigel on the seat across from us. I gave his arm a squeeze, "Did you not sleep well?"

He shifted, but only to put an arm around me. "I slept fine."

"Was it something you ate?"

"Ana, I'm fine." He sighed, leaning over to press a kiss to my head. "Just, I just want to get this done."

"It will be soon." I smiled as Rigel stretched across the entire bench, looking over at us with his hanging jowls and large wagging tail. "And then we'll be back down here. We might even see the Lightollers again before we go back."

He grunted, "Perhaps." He held me close as the train shuffled into motion, and dropped his hand to my waist. "Ana, have you ever had any strange dreams?"

"Of course," I snorted, "I remember one time I dreamt I arrived to a party naked."

He started at that, "Ana, good God."

"Well, I'm sure you wouldn't have minded." I teased, glad for him to react to something. "Although I'm not sure you would appreciate everyone else staring." He blushed at that, and pulled me a bit tighter to him. "I suppose I have dreamed of other things, although nothing as exciting as that."

Will pursed his lips, "You haven't dreamed of anyone you knew visiting you? Your grandfather for instance?"

"I barely knew him, I think I dreamed about him being at a birthday party I had once when I was little." I leaned into him, "Why all the questions about dreams?"

He shifted under me, "I had just thought that with all the memories on the Olympic you may have dreamed of your father."

Oh, that. I dropped my head, "I, I try not to dream of him." Those dreams still came through though, that last moment on the deck with Father by my side and then he was gone and I was alone. Those dreams were not pleasant and if Will wasn't around usually led to me wandering up to the office and having a drink.

"Why?"

"Will, I would think that's obvious." I shifted away from him, my arms wrapping around myself. "I don't like to remember all that."

He sat up a bit straighter on the bench, "But shouldn't you? You shouldn't forget him."

"I haven't forgotten him!" I snapped, drawing a whine out of Rigel. I drew a breath, trying to control my temper. "I'll never forget him, you know that."

"I know." He reached over, trying to worm his hand around mine but I clutched myself tighter. "Ana, please."

"Why would you even think that, then? Why would you say that?" I moved away again, pressing myself up against the wall. I could feel the emotion in my throat, the tears that thinking about Father always seemed to bring. There was also a bit of anger there, at Will, but I squashed that flat. "Will, I didn't even get to say I loved him one last time. At least you got that with Ada." He had, he gotten to tell her he loved her before he left on a crossing and I hadn't even said thank you to Father for getting me to the railing that night.

He flinched, "Ana, please, calm down."

"What are you driving at then?" I sniffed, feeling a tear leak out. "Why?"

"Because I think you need to confront them." Will moved across the bench, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tight to him. "I had to do that with Ada, and I think it helped." His hands wrapped around my arms, shifting me so that I clung to his shoulders. "I don't want you to avoid thinking of him, I want you to be able to tell stories about him to our children. I'll tell them stories about my Ma, and I want you to do the same. They should know about him."

I couldn't even look him in the eye. "Will, you didn't lose her like I lost him."

"I know," He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, "And I know it hurts, but if you don't confront the hurt then it's just going to grow and grow until you can't remember anything positive about him." I looked up at that, feeling it settle around me. He was right, if I only thought about losing Father I wouldn't remember all the good times. Father didn't deserve that, he deserved to have his grandchildren know about him. Will's hand slid to my cheek, "Please, the next time you dream about him, stay with him. Make yourself remember the good times, banish the bad memories and don't look back." He pressed a brief kiss to my lips, "Ana, please, for me."

I covered Will's hand with my own. "I'll try." The ride up to Scotland was as long as it had been the last time, although Rigel made it a bit more entertaining. It was rather funny to see Will worrying if we would make our other train while Rigel took his time attending to his business outside the station when we had to make a change. But eventually, after a number of delays that meant it was night when we arrived, we were back in the Burnside in Dalbeattie. Rigel seemed quite pleased with the room, and I sighed as I sat down on the bed. "Should we go over?"

Will sat next to me, "In the morning, we'll bring something." In the morning we dressed somberly, hooked Rigel to his leash, bought a loaf of fresh bread from the bakery, flowers from a shop and headed over. It was easy to see that the people here knew what had happened, they recognized Will and dipped their hats or nodded to him. The house itself seemed smaller than the last time I had been here, and it was a drawn and pale Peg who answered the door. Will summoned a small smile, "Peg, I made it."

Her smile was brittle, "Aye, ye did. Come in." She stepped away, and we followed. Everything felt strange as we walked in, and I noticed little bits of dust that had collected on every surface. Dust bunnies occupied the corners and crumbs were on the kitchen floor when we set the bread down. Peg pulled out a knife and began to slice it, "At least ye'll hae a day before the funeral, and the wake after."

"I would have gotten here sooner." Will, sat in a wooden chair, ran his hands through his hair. "How has everythin' been?"

Peg set the knife down carefully, her face pinched. "Hard, Will. It's been bloody hard."

"I shouldn't hae said that."

"Nae, ye shouldn't." She turned to pull some butter from the icebox, "But at least ye're here now." Peg buttered a slice of bread with quick strokes, placed it on a plate and held it out to me. "Anastasia, could ye take this to Da while I talk to me brother? He's in the parlor."

I nodded, "Of course." I scuttled away, hearing a low discussion in Gaelic break out behind me. It was still a rabbit warren of rooms and eventually I found the parlor. Rigel trailed after me, completely oblivious to the eerie feeling that pervaded the whole house. All the curtains were drawn and only a few lights were lit, making the whole place feel like a tomb. When I reached the parlor, I paused and took in the gloom. The curtains had been draw, the lamps were off and I could barely make out the furniture. I turned on a lamp, "Samuel?" There was no reply, and I edged toward another lamp. "I've brought some food."

Again, nothing.

It was only when I came around the edge of the sofa that I saw him, thin faced and haggard. His clothes were freshly washed, but that was the only presentable thing about him. His hair was dirty, his beard matted and he was simply sitting and staring at one of the curtained windows. I set the bread down on a table where Rigel couldn't reach it, "Samuel, why were you sitting in the dark?" He didn't reply, although he did look down when Rigel bumped his head against his hands. I brought the plate over, "Samuel, Will and I brought fresh bread. Have some, please."

His hand lifted, seemed to consider the bread, and then went back to gently rubbing Rigel's head.

"Samuel, if you don't eat this I'm taking Rigel away." I snapped, feeling my patience wear thin. I could understand he was grieving, God did I understand, but I was not going to sit here and be ignored. His eye flicked to me, finally seeing me, and he mechanically began to chew the slice of bread. I waited until the plate was clean to go back to the kitchen, setting it down and startling the Murdoch siblings. "Has he been like that this whole time?"

Peg seemed amazed by the plate, "Ye got him to eat."

"Rigel got him to eat, but Peg, how long has he been like this?" I didn't look at Will, couldn't look at him and have him ask what Samuel was like. "Has it been the whole time?"

"Aye, he's been like that since we found her. I can't believe he ate for ye, he's barely touched anythin'." Peg picked up the plate. "Do ye think ye could do it again?" She started as a knocking sounded, and excused herself to answer it.

When I looked over, Will had his head in his hands. I placed a hand on his shoulder, "Will, it will be alright."

He brought his own hand up to cover mine. "I know, I just wish I had been here." His head jerked up as Peg came back in, trailed by Agnes and Sam. He considered his siblings for a moment, "Agnes, Sam, 'tis good to see ye."

"And ye, Will." Sam nodded to him, "And ye Anastasia." I blinked, that was far more cordial than last time. Sam brought a hand up to rub his nose, "We've got tae be tae the church in ten minutes, I thought to offer Peg a ride. You're welcome tae come with."

Peg shifted uncomfortably, "I should stay with Da." She bit her lip, "He's barely spoke and sometime I feel like he's about to leave us, someone's always been here. I'll stay."

"No," I spoke up, giving Will's shoulder a squeeze. "You all should go to the church and get things settled. I'll stay here and watch him, he likes Rigel anyway." I straightened and gave a smile, "If you can point me to an apron and a broom I'll have this place nice and clean by the time you get back."

Will glanced up, "Ana, you don't have to-"

"It's fine, Will." I leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "Go help them with everything." He blustered a bit, but seeing how run down Peg looked and the way Sam and Agnes were all but begging him to come with, he conceded. Peg pointed out where she hung the aprons and even showed me a drawer full of rags. I quickly had an apron tied around my waist, the broom in one hand and a mess of rags in the other. I set those down in front of Samuel when I reached the parlor, "Come on, we're cleaning."

He furrowed his brow at that, actually looking at me. I sighed, "I'm not going to ask about anything, and you don't have to talk, but Samuel, this place is a mess." To demonstrate I swept the broom across the floor and stirred up a wave of dust. "It will feel good to do something and I don't want you to be in this mess." He pursed his lips at that, but grabbed a rag and proceeded to do what he thought dusting was. I had him quickly corrected, and we slowly made our way through the house. There was one bedroom that was closed, I didn't even consider it.

Instead, I told Samuel about what Will and I had been doing. "We had a wonderful Christmas up in the woods, the Lightollers even came. They have a daughter now, Mavis, and Sylvie let me hold her. She's absolutely precious, and Sylvie has her boys calling me Aunt Anna." He snorted at that, or perhaps from inhaling a bit of dust. "Oh stop it, they're lovely boys. They love my ships, their father says I've ruined them." I chuckled, "And they even have a puppy, Lights wants to breed her to Rigel."

Hearing his name, Rigel scrambled up from the floor and came loping after us. Samuel, with a bit of color in his face, leaned down to pet him. I let out a sigh, at least Samuel was moving and doing something. It was better than he had been. So the two of them followed me as I finished sweeping up the last of the dust and dirt, and when I mentioned to Samuel that we should wash up he didn't stay behind.

"You know, you could wash your beard right now." I said as I dried my hands, looking around the kitchen. "I wouldn't mind, especially if you're going to help me get dinner ready." I snorted, "I say that as if I actually know what I'm going to make." I couldn't tell if he snorted as well, or if he had simply gotten a bit of water up his nose as he leaned over the sink to wash his beard. I handed him a towel to dry himself with, and consulted the icebox. It was rather full of dishes, but when I pulled one out I wasn't even sure what it was.

"Samuel, why don't you take Rigel outside?" I kept looking at the icebox, "I'll have something warm soon." I heard him leave, followed by Rigel's claws. I found myself entering into a pitched battle with the oven, which steadfastly refused to light. When I heard someone enter the kitchen I was half in the damn thing, and banged my head against the top when I jerked back. "What?"

Will, his brows drawn up, was standing there. "Ana, why do ye have yer head in the stove? Ye know that can kill ye."

"Well," I groaned, standing and stretching. "I couldn't get it to light, I was trying to see what was wrong."

"Where's Da?" He took my arm, drawing me away from the stove and letting Peg bustle in and begin to set things to rights.

"I asked him to take Rigel out." I let Will lead us through the house, finding the parlor again. It looked much better than it had before, swept clean and the curtains were drawn back to show the backyard. I gestured to the window, "See, they're playing outside."

Will watched as his father leaned down to pick up a stick for Rigel and sent it winging off into the distance. "Peg's been worried about him, Agnes and Sam too."

"He's not good Will," I sighed, leaning against him. "I think being here isn't good for him either."

"Then what are we going ta do?" Will shifted, putting an arm around me. "We cannae exactly stay here or leave the damn dog."

I pursed my lips, "We could take him with us, back to New York. He seemed to like having something to do, there's plenty to do back home." The more I thought about it, the more right it felt. "Walks in the park, parties, he could even come to the offices."

"Ana," He pulled me a little tighter to him, "What would they say? Peg and the others have been the ones dealin' with him."

"Tell them that he's going to come with us because my mother, who knows what it's like to lose a spouse, can help him."

The day of the funeral was appropriately dismal, and Rigel was miserable to be left at the inn until we could fetch him before we headed to the wake. He wasn't the only miserable one, Will barely looked up for the entire walk to the church. I kept my eyes cast down as well, it seemed the black brim of my hat was the only thing I could see beyond my feet.

A good sized crowd had turned out, and Will joined his sibling to receive condolences from the guests as they entered. Samuel was there as well, his black suit pressed and neat, his hair had even been washed, but he barely looked at anyone. I stood beside Will quietly, hearing him thank the people attending and inviting them to the wake after. Eentualy though the church was as full as it was going to get and we made our way to our seats.

The priest began the ceremony with a sermon, and I tried not to think about Father. It was so easy though, surrounded by black clad people and hearing the quiet weeping of a few of them. It was so much like his funeral, and I moved a little closer to Will. I just had to get through it, I had to sit here and be strong for Will. So I breathed, and sang hymns and listened when Peg and Sam stood and gave their eulogies. I didn't look at Samuel, or at the coffin surrounded by flowers at the front of the church.

I would have held Will's hand on the walk to the churchyard, but he had been chosen as a pallbearer and I followed with the crowd. Jeanie was laid to rest alongside her children, Mary and John, and each of the Murdoch siblings threw a handful of dirt in after the coffin had been lowered. Will had tears on his cheeks when he rejoined me, and we waited as the other mourners came forward to place flowers around the stone. Samuel was the last one of the family to be waiting by the grave, his handful of dirt clutched so tightly that some was escaping.

Instead of gently releasing it, he threw it violently into the hole and turned his back as the gravedigger began to fill it.

"Ana, I don't think it's appropriate now for him to come." Will muttered as I attached Rigel's leash to his collar. "Everyone is just going to be, God."

I stood, coming over to adjust his suit lapels. "Will, I'm going to leave him with your father. He needs something to focus on."

"And this idea of yours about bringing him to New York."

"He needs to get away, he needs to not be around a place so," I sighed, stepping up to kiss his cheek. "So filled with memories. You can understand that."

He caught me around my waist, pressing his lips to mine briefly. "I do." Rigel was happy with the chill in the air as we stepped outside, trotting alongside us as we reached the house. It was already crowded with cars along the street, and even some people standing outside. All of them nodded to Will as we came up, and I held Rigel a little tighter. He was excited to see so many new people, and I had to endure him hitting me with his tail relentlessly.

Peg enveloped me in a hug as soon as she saw me, "Anastasia, can ye take him to Da? He's in a state."

"Of course," I returned her embrace, and looked to Rigel. "And you've go to be on your best behavior." All I received for that was a tilt of the head, and I rolled my eyes. Will had left me with a squeeze of my hand, going to talk to Sam and Agnes. I pursed my lips at that, seeing Sam watching me closely. But all he did was nod, then go back to speaking to Will. I negotiated my way through the guests, eventually finding Samuel sitting on a bench out back. A plate of uneaten food was by him, a glass of wine untouched. I called out softly before approaching, "Samuel, I've brought Rigel."

I let go of his leash, watching as he trotted up to Samuel and happily shoved his head into the man's hands. I sat next to Samuel, watching as he began to pet the dog. His eyes were rather red and puffy, and entirely focused on Rigel. What color he had gained yesterday was gone, and that haggard look was back in his face. So I reached over and gently squeezed his shoulder, "I would have brought him to the funeral but I don't think the priest would have appreciated it."

Samuel snorted at that, leaning back and patting his lap to encourage Rigel to put his front paws up. I smiled at that, "You let him do that and he'll never stop. Sometimes I think he's a lapdog in a giant body." Another snort, and I bulled on. "He's come close to kicking your son out of bed a few times, Will acts like he can't stand him sometime but he does love him." I reached over and ruffled his ears. "We both do." Seeing him smile a bit at that, I took my chance. "We love you too, Samuel."

"We both worry about you and, " I took a breath, knowing it was now or never. "Samuel, I want you to come back to New York with Will and I." I couldn't help but blurt it out, and I watched as his fingers stilled across Rigel's head. "I think it would be good for you, there's so much to do there and I know Mother would be glad to see you." I reached out, covering his fingers with mine. "And she knows what you're going through, and can help." He looked up at that, his eyes wide. I drew in a breath, "Samuel, come with us. Please."

Samuel was quiet for a long time, the only sound Rigel's slight whines as he tried to get him to continue his petting. I watched as Samuel swallowed, his lips worked for a moment, and his voice sounded faint when he eventually spoke. "Alright Anastasia, I will."

I gave his fingers a squeeze, "I'll have Will pack a trunk, we're planning to leave tomorrow."

"Make sure he puts a picture of her in." He muttered, turning back to Rigel. Rigel leaned into his fingers, tongue lolling out and he gave a slight whine as Samuel scratched a particular spot. I gave the both of them a smile, and went off to find my husband.