Sophie left three days later, Zachary arriving in a car to take her home. We had a bit of standoff outside the house, none of us willing to go down the steps, and him unwilling to climb them. So instead I gave Sophie a hug, kissed Adam's forehead and told her that they were welcome back anytime. Zachary didn't say anything to us, but he did hold out his hand to assist Sophie down.

She gave me a wave from the window as they drove off.

Everything seemed off back at the house, even through we had only lost three people. But it seemed no matter where I went there was something that affected me. The parlor was quieter, the dinners smaller, and I didn't hear steps in the hallway at night as someone walked with Adam until he fell back asleep. I knew what it was, but thinking about it made me more miserable.

I missed having a baby around.

I didn't miss the messes and crying, but I missed when Sophie would go to take a nap and I could hold him, enjoying the fresh smell of him and the little noises he would make. I missed the one time that he woke up in my arms, his eyes glassy until he noticed me and I could see him recognize me. I wanted a baby, I wanted to have a little boy of my own to hold and care for.

I had stopped by Sophie's rooms today just to see if she had left anything behind that we needed to send over. She hadn't, but I had lingered over the crib that was still there. It was a beautiful little thing of soft yellow pine, sanded and varnished to that it shone in the light coming through the windows. I didn't even notice that Mother had come in until she had placed a hand on my shoulder, her voice soft. "I was thinking of moving it, but I have no doubt we'll need it up here sometime soon."

The slight pain in my gut, what remained of the cramps that had heralded my dashed hopes from two days ago, pained me all the more at that. I shook my head, "Sometime, I'm going out for a walk. I'll be back before dinner."

Rigel was already waiting for me at the door, for I had been walking quite a bit. Even with the cramps I couldn't stay in that house for very long, because it felt like every room held something to remind me of my failure thanks to my memories of Adam. Will had been kind and loving, he had been doing everything he could to bring our hopes to life but he was not the problem, I was.

I angrily kicked the sand as I made my way down to the end of the cove, turning around to walk the length of it. What was wrong with me? I wanted a baby, I wanted to cuddle my own child and have Mother enthuse over her grandchild. I did my best to keep healthy, I exercised and did my best to eat well. I didn't do anything that might risk a child, like riding a horse or riding in fast cars.

I didn't keep my husband from my bed, aside from one week a month.

My monthly made me feel disgusting, not just the pain though. It was always a reminder that I had failed for the past month, even though Will always assured me that he didn't care. But I cared, I cared that the closest thing we had to a child was Rigel. I cared that there was some part of being a wife that I wasn't good at. I could throw a party, entertain friends and care for my husband, but I just couldn't do this.

Rigel trotted ahead of me as I moved past the lighthouse, striking out across the other end of the beach, the end that we didn't own. I gave a brief thought to going into the lighthouse, climbing up and looking out over the ocean, but I wanted to move. I wanted to walk and walk until I was exhausted and returned home hungry. I wanted to walk to the point where I couldn't think anymore, because the house had not just been different because of Sophie leaving, but because of some guests who had been calling.

Some of the men from the party had visited today, asking to speak with Will about what he thought might happen.

He had tried to be considerate of me and direct the conversation elsewhere, but they had been so insistent that eventually I had excused myself and left them alone. Of course, I still could hear some of what they said. Will was quite confident in the Royal Navy, and in the ability of Britain's diplomats to smooth over what had happened. But then the men had brought out papers and they'd fallen into a discussion that made it seem certain that there would be some kind of conflict based on what was being reported.

Which had sent me scurrying upstairs, and then out here.

Because if I had to hear Will talk about war, I would think about him leaving, then dying and I wouldn't even have a child of his to remember him by. All I would have were pictures and some letter, my wedding dress yellowing with age as the years went by and I was without him. I scrubbed at my face, pulling my arms a little tighter about myself. The wind was starting to get cold, and I could see dark clouds built up over the ocean. But I wasn't tired yet, and neither was Rigel, so I kept trudging through the sand.

At one point I pulled off my shoes and stockings, lifted my skirts and let the waves wash over my feet. It felt good to have the water swirling about my ankles, even though the it was cold and made me shiver as the wind picked up. It snatched at my hair, my hairpins left in my rooms and my hair hanging loose down my back. I closed my eyes, waiting for the storm to come and the first drops of rain to strike my face, but a voice was on the wind. "Ana? Ana!"

"Will," I whispered, opening my eyes and looking around. I could see a figure coming up the beach, from the direction of our cottage. I lifted a hand, seeing him begin trotting in my direction. The clouds were blowing in, blocking out the sun and casting shadows over the sand. Part of my brain managed to think about the fact that the lighthouse would need to be lit early, that I could follow it back home.

But then Will was by my side, Rigel woofing happily to see him. Will paused for a moment to pull his shoes off, joining me in the waves in his shirtsleeves and trousers. "What are you doing out here?"

"I wanted to walk." I shrugged, taking in a deep breath of the cool wind. "You were busy."

He brought a hand up to brush a lock of hair back behind my ear. "And you were listening, weren't you?"

"Only for a bit." I admitted, glancing down. "I left quickly."

"So you were out here thinking about how I'm going to leave you in an instant to go get my head blown off." His voice was bitter, "Ana, stop worrying about that. You can't control it."

The first few drop of rain spattered down onto my cheeks, cool against my skin. "It wasn't just that. Things at the house just feel odd."

"What things?"

"I miss Sophie and Adam, and well, my monthly came."

Will's voice was much more gentle as he wrapped his arms around me. "Ah, Ana. You know you can't blame yourself."

"I know." I mumbled against his shoulder. "But it doesn't mean I won't."

"It appears distractions will be in order." He chuckled, squeezing me a little tighter. "But first, how about we head home before we get completely soaked?" The proved to be easier said than done, for the wind began howling and the waves added their own spray to the light rain that was coming down. Considering that neither of us had a jacket or a coat, we walked a bit faster.

We ran when a crack of lightning snapped overhead and the rain began to pour.

The lighthouse proved a much needed beacon, and Rigel was happy to race us across the sand. I hadn't even put my shoes back on, merely holding them and my skirt up as I tried to gain the shelter of the back porch. I could hear Will cursing behind me, but there was a laugh in his voice. When we stopped on the porch, I took a look at him. His shirt was clinging to his skin, and he shivered slightly as the breeze blew a bit of rain in.

I reached out to pluck at the soaked cotton, "I think you need a hot bath."

"I think we both do." He shook his head, "It's a shame we haven't got the tub from New York."

"Right now, I wouldn't want you in with me." I glanced away. "It's rather messy."

"Well, then I propose," He leaned forward, reaching for my wet hair and wringing it out. "That we both enjoy a hot bath and have our dinner brought up tonight. Doesn't that sound good?"

"Very good." I stepped up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Mother is going to be furious with us."

"With you, you're the one who walked so far." He chuckled, and held the door open for me. "I was just chasing you."

Mother was indeed quite miffed to find the two of us dripping on the floors, but she merely rolled her eyes and sent us up. "Go get into some dry clothes before you both catch a chill, the last thing we need is anyone getting sick."

"Of course, Ruth." Will cracked a grin, "I hope you don't mind if we take dinner upstairs?"

"So long as you don't mind not getting every course tonight." She chuckled, "I heard from Mrs. Vangerten that she purchased several lobsters for dinner tonight." I suppressed a groan at that, I loved when our cook made lobster and she always made a big dinner to accompany it. As I trudged up the stairs I wondered if she'd gotten crab too, and what she was planning to serve with it.

I was still mulling over food while I stripped off my wet clothes, hanging them where I could to allow them to dry off. Louise had already drawn a hot bath, and I gratefully slid into the water. I was shivering a bit, but the heat of the water drove that away. I took my time, scrubbing down every inch of skin. Quite a bit of sand was on the bottom of the tub when I stepped out, and I used a toe to shove it towards the drain.

At least the rest of me was free of sand, nothing but clean skin as I pulled my nightgown on, pulled the belt with a fresh cloth around my waist, and drew a robe on over everything. It wasn't cold enough for a fire, but it was cold enough from the rain battering the glass that the thick robe was needed. Coming out of the bathroom I could smell something delicious in my sitting room, and followed my nose to the table.

Will, in his own robe, found me sniffing around the various cloches when he came out. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Trying to figure out what was sent up." I smirked, inhaling again. "I think we actually got some of the lobster."

"What if she just sent the shells?" Will snorted as I immediately pulled the largest cloche off at his words, sighing with relief when I saw a perfectly dissected pair of lobsters accompanied by a pile of crab meat, fried scallops and a number of lemons for everything. More cloches were removed to reveals rolls and fresh butter, a bowl of beef broth and even a few mugs of mulled wine.

It was rather unusual to drink it outside of fall, but it was delightfully warm and I sighed after I took a sip. "We really need to give her a raise."

"I should certainly hate to lose her cooking." Will reached for his own mug, drinking some before doling out the beef broth into the provided bowls. "She always seems to know just what we need."

"That or she thinks we're too skinny." I joked, glad for the massive amount of food. I was always hungry during my monthly and began to put my portion away. I had no idea why melted butter and lemon juice worked well with the sweet, rich seafood but it did and I was starving. I knew Will found it amusing, because occasionally he would look up, smile and shake his head at me.

A maid brought up a plate of lemon bars when she came to retrieve the tray, and Will pulled me close to him on the settee as we finished off our meal with a lovely little dessert. If he noticed that I clutched his hand a bit tighter when he curled around me in bed, he didn't say anything.

Will was on the back porch when Mr. Rigby came to say that Mr. Vanderbilt was asking if he would accept a caller. Will closed his book, "Usually Oscar just comes in."

"This is Mr. Alfred Vanderbilt sir, shall I send him in?"

"Yes, yes. Could have some cigars brought?" Will set his book aside, standing to adjust his clothes.

Mr. Rigby wrinkled his nose, "Mr. Murdoch, I know Mrs. Murdoch has asked you to limit your smoking and you've been doing well with that, so I will not."

"For Alfred." Will sighed, wishing for his pipe at that moment. "I'll abstain."

"I'll have a maid wait on the both of you." Mr. Rigby left with a raised eyebrow, and Will knew that the maid was there not only to fetch drinks but also to tattle to Ana if he did indulge in a cigar. He shook his head, snorting as he looked out to the cove. Ruth had convinced Ana to go swimming with her, and the both of them were happily paddling around the cove.

He doubted anyone could be happier than Rigel though, Will had never known a dog that loved to swim like him. The other day he and Ana had noticed that Rigel hated when they dove under, he would whine and paddle in circles until they popped up, and then he wouldn't leave them alone until he was reassured that they wouldn't disappear again. He chuckled to himself as he watched Ana demonstrate this, the poor boy clearly distressed.

A soft voice spoke from behind him, "Mr. Murdoch, Mr. Vanderbilt is here. I have the cigars you requested."

"Thank you," Will said, nodding to the maid. Alfred was standing behind her, wearing a grin that Will was far more used to seeing on Oscar. He gestured to the wicker chairs, "Please, sit. I certainly hope I didn't pick the wrong thing to offer you, I can have some whiskey brought if you'd prefer it."

Alfred snorted as he sat down, already reaching for a cigar. "You didn't, but I'd thank you for a mint julep. It's a damn sight hot for whiskey."

"One for me as well, dear." Will nodded to the maid, who scuttled off to relay their orders to the kitchen. Or more accurately to the footman who also served as their bartender when needed. He tried not to inhale too deeply of the smoke as Alfred lit his cigar. "What brings you by?"

Alfred puffed on his cigar a few times, "Firstly, to apologize to you. I should have kicked Henry Reichster out of the party, I hear you've been swamped by all those war hawks."

"Well, once they learned I was in the Reserves." Will glanced away, "Even though all I've really done is practice some shooting. They all seem to think I'm a personal friend of the Prime Minister."

The cigar smoke was disturbed for a moment as Alfred laughed, "You should be flattered they think so highly of you!"

"I'm more worried about them upsetting my wife." Will tried to keep his tone from being too harsh. "Ana is especially sensitive to the thought of losing me, after what happened with her father."

"And don't I know it. Your guests came to complain to me that you refused to have them back if they wanted to talk about to war. They weren't the worst, though." Alfred grumbled, sipping his drink as soon as the maid handed it over. "Oscar raked me over the coals quite thoroughly a few days ago. I love my cousin, but seeing him like that scared the daylights out of me."

Will winced, "I didn't know he could be so forceful."

"Neither did I, and I would prefer not to see him like that again." Alfred shivered, "But he did bring up a good point, that I should apologize. And not just to you, but I'm not sure how to approach Anastasia. I thought I might offer you some advice instead, as my apology."

Will quirked a smile, "Advice? I'm not sure what you advice you could give me."

"You're not the only one of us who's had more than one wife, I had a wife before I met Margaret and had my two boys with her."

"You're a fellow widower then?"

Alfred flinched, "No, although you have my sympathies. I was not the best husband to my first wife, we divorced. I see her occasionally, when she wants to see our son. But my second wife, well, I went a bit over the top with her."

"And that's your advice, to go over the top?"

"Yes, some grand gesture to demonstrate that you're entirely focused on her and the war isn't taking up any of your thoughts. It's solely her you're focused on." Alfred swirled the dregs of his julep, and Will belatedly took the first sip of his. Cold, sweet, and so minty that he couldn't even taste the alcohol in it. Afred went back to his cigar, "Now, do you need some help on what to do?"

"I think I can please my wife well enough on my own."

"I have to do something at least, otherwise Oscar will be breathing down my neck."

"You could always fund it."

"Done." Alfred smirked, "Now, at least tell me what I'll be paying for."

Will pursed his lips, thinking. "Flowers, of course. And food, Ana does love a good meal. And a bed."

"A bed?" Alfred almost spat out the remain of his drink. "You have plenty of those inside."

Will chuckled, "I'm not planning for it to be inside." He gestured off towards the lighthouse in the distance. "I had a thought that I would take Ana stargazing out there, and unfortunately the lighthouse only has a table and chairs."

Alfred shook his head, "Fine, I'll have one sent from town in a day or two. Although they're going to be angry about dragging it across the sand."

"I think that should suffice." Will finished the last of his drink, "Would you care to stay for dinner?"

"Hardly, I have to go bed shopping." Alfred stood, brushing away a small bit of ash on his trousers. "Send me a note about how it goes, mainly so I can show Oscar." Will gave him a handshake before he left, and discretely asked the maid for another of those mint juleps. He hadn't had one before, but it was rather nice. Cold, refreshing and the little fuzz in his head told him that it was quite strong.

He was still waiting on the porch, enjoying the warmth of the day, when he heard feminine chatter and canine woofing coming his way. Ana and Ruth were chatting happily as they came up from the cove, wrapped in towels. Ruth pouted a bit as they gained the porch, "William, why did you let Alfred leave?"

"I invited him to dinner, but he said he had to go shopping." Will shrugged, and Ruth snorted as she headed in.

Ana, meanwhile, had removed her towel and draped it over a chair, which gave Will a wonderful moment to admire her in her swimming costume. While it covered most of her, he enjoyed being able to see more of her slightly tanned skin. Of course he wouldn't tell her that, he enjoyed it on her far too much and did not want her to cover herself in long sleeves for the rest of the summer. She hardly seemed to notice his looking though, instead cocking her head and speaking quietly. "Why did Alfred come?"

"He wanted to apologize," Will started, gladly accepting his drink from the maid who had returned. "For the fact that his guests came over to bother me."

"That was kind of him." Ana seemed interested in his drink, although her eyes alighted on the table. They widened and she turned on him, "Cigars? Will, you promised!"

"I didn't smoke them!" He started forward, setting his drink down. "Alfred did, I was just being a good host by catering to him."

She came up to him, quite clearly sniffing him. "You smell like cigars."

"Just from the smoke."

"I want to be sure." Ana had a glint in her eyes, and reached up to pull him down. He had to admit he was a little shocked when she kissed him and immediately thrust her tongue inside his mouth, sweeping over his and he groaned and pulled her to him. God she tasted good, if a little salty from the ocean, and she sighed as she pulled away. "Well, I can't taste any tobacco. But what is that mint from?"

He only pulled one arm from her to grab his drink, "This, Alfred had one and I decided to join him. It's rather nice."

She leaned forward and sipped delicately from it, "Mmmmm, that is nice. I don't suppose you could have another one made and meet me upstairs? I feel like a nap, but I will need some help getting out of this."

"Well, I can send for Louise."

"Very funny." Ana tossed her head, smiling. "I'll be waiting." Will drew in a breath at that, far too excited to join her. So he quickly had another mint julep made, and bounded up the stairs after her. The light coming through the windows was muted, and when he came into the bedroom he found Ana had drawn the curtains. She was still in her swimming costume though, and deliberately stretched as soon as he was at the door. "Oh, I didn't know you were there."

"You are a bad liar, and you know it." He chuckled, setting the drinks aside. "Now, come here." She crossed the room quickly, holding her hair aside as he undid the buttons and slipped the costume from her. He watched as she bent over to pick it up, darting into the bathroom and coming back with a comb. She held it out, and he sighed. "Alright, grab you drink and come here."

Ana was smiling far too widely as she sat on the bed, and Will slipped off his shoes before sitting behind her and beginning to work the comb through her hair. She sighed happily, "Oh, I forgot how good you are at this."

"And I forgot how much hair you have." He grumbled, but ran his fingers through her hair. "But it seems like it wasn't that tangled."

"Hmmm, I guess it's time for a nap then." Ana sipped at her drink, then turned around and looked at him. "Are you going to wear that?" He had hardly shook his head before her fingers were sliding over his buttons and his suit was quickly on the floor. Will clasped her to him once he had joined her under the covers, feeling the cool of her skin flush under his hand as he ran them over her.

But then Ana had draped her head over his chest, gave a happy sigh, and he curled himself around her.