Leo eyes widens as his little brother walks away, the guilt starting to settle in as he realizes the words that came out his mouth. Tears start to swell up in his eyes as he tries to blink them back in, desperately trying to make sure they don't fall.

"Leonardo." Splinter calls, shocking Leo out of his frozen state as he turns to meet his father. "A moment please, in the dojo."

Splinters walks first before Leo follows him behind, his gaze remaining on the ground. God… He really doesn't want to talk about this. He doesn't even know where to begin.

The moment was too fast to process; too much emotion rushing through his mind. He can't even comprehend what he should feel. Happy? Angry? Depressed? Shock is one thing but what about all of them combined?

Mikey kept saying it was him but what if it wasn't? What if now there's a new danger to the city? He can't be right; Leo is so sure of it. He's been waiting for years and not a single clue leads to Raph's existence.

But what if Mikey was right?

When Mikey told him that he saw Raph, everything suddenly just felt so fragile to Leo. It was as if he's walking on a glass floor and it's going to crack any minute now, that it would shatter beneath his feet when he least expected it. It wasn't that Leo didn't want his little brother back—he would give anything for him to embrace him in his arms once again— but he just can't… he doesn't want to hope again. He can't hope again. Hoping hurts too much.

It felt like an eternity had passed. With every day has passed the burden weighs more and more as his faith goes dimmer slowly but surely.

Months have passed… Months of desperation and grief, months of crying and begging, months of sleepless nights of wandering around the labyrinth that's called his mind, months of feeling so utterly useless because all he could do is wait for him; Waiting for his little brother to come back. and yet Leo still can't find the tunnel out of this darkness.

The clock has struck 12 am and Leo's eyes haven't even closed for a mere second. Actually, he wasn't planning to go to sleep tonight. Maybe for a few hours to be able to manage throughout the day, but he needs to do something right now.

He would've grabbed his katana, however it's in the dojo and he doesn't want to risk waking up Master Splinter, but he still managed to sneakily grab his kunai during practice. It's small but it's better than no weapon. He takes his flashlight and a towel and heads out into the sewer.

Every day, he does this. Every night, he goes to the depths of the sewers, hoping to see his green turtle again. To see that red mask. The crack on his plastron. His wide, toothy grin. He does this every single day without fail, just in case one day he finds him, cold and alone, shivering under a thin blanket. He imagines drying him off with a towel, wrapping him up like a turtle burrito, then carrying him home in his arms, holding him so tight that Raph could never escape his grasp again.

But what are the chances really?

Leo doesn't know, it's slim that's for sure. But he's hoping for that one percent chance. The chance to reunite with him once again. There has to be a chance, right?

Leo wanders further into the tunnel, terrified of what could be lurking in the dark alley. Master Splinter would be so mad at him if he ever finds out about this. He has always warned them about the dangers of going to the sewers, especially at night. Even worse alone.

Leo is breaking all three of his rules.

Isn't that a surprise? Leonardo, Master Splinter's so-called 'golden child'—or so Raphael claims—breaking his own rules. Funny how that works, isn't it?

He has strayed for quite some time; he should go back now. It would be morning soon and he would be tired for practice. But he hasn't found him yet.

"…A little more…" He sighs, too tired to keep going but too desperate to give up.

Another two hours passed and he could see the navy hue from the tiny crack from the manhole. A sign that the sun is coming up.

No… But he needs more time. He spent hours endlessly walking across the sewers and yet he is given nothing in return. He wasted so much time and it's all in vain once again.

Why…

Just why…

He went back to the lair, exhausted. He sinks into his bed, the weight on his chest feeling soul-crushing. First one tear falls, then another, until the pillow silently absorbs the flood of his grief. His fingers tremble as the strength he's clung to begins to crack. His chest rises and falls unevenly, each breath shallow, forgotten. All he wants is just to stop hurting. He just wants to stop hurting. Please…

"Everything hurts…" He mutters. His legs ached, his body utterly exhausted, muscles cramping from the relentless strain and lack of rest he'd forced upon himself.

"Why?…" He chokes on his sobs, "Why Raph?…" The young turtle's arms curl around his pillow as he buries his face into it, letting himself cry louder.

"WHY RAPH?! WHY DID YOU LEAVE DAMN IT?!" He screams, his voice brimming with sorrow, yet no one hears it.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?! WHY?!" Tears stream down his cheeks, each drop a desperate plea for someone—anyone—to hear him. Yet, the room remains eerily silent, a suffocating void. Only the pillow bears witness to his anguish, absorbing his high-pitched wails as they are muffled into the soft cushion, leaving it damp beneath his tear-streaked face.

"Why Raph?… P-Please answer me…" Even if he knows he can't, he still begs for his little brother to answer.

He participates in practice late that day, about 15 minutes behind schedule. This is obviously unusual for Leo, who is always the first in the dojo. Thankfully, Master Splinter lets it slide this once, and they all continue on with their day.

Mikey continues to play with his action figures and read his comic books to retain the innocence and positive mindset they all need. Donnie keeps working in the lab, attempting to find Raphael as well. Master Splinter goes on with his meditation, hoping to find the peace he needs. And Leo…

Leo just waits for nightfall, and then he will try again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. Over and over again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And he does it again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. For three years he does it again.

Every morning he comes back with nothing. Ever morning he comes back with nobody. With each passing day, he feels another piece of himself crumbles. Each time, it's like a droplet of melted wax searing his chest, his heart aching for a way out of this misery.

It took him too long for him to admit it. He never wanted to admit it. Never even wants to think of the possibility that it could be true. But in the end, it's reality.

Raphael Hamato is dead and Leonardo can't do anything about it.

"Leonardo." The blue turtle snaps out from his thoughts to see his Master sitting on the floor of the dojo, his legs crossed as he patiently waits for him. "You've been standing there for a while. Is something wrong?"

Oh… was he seriously so lost in thought that he just stand there? God… how embarrassing…

"Um—… No Sensei…" He stammers, "I'm alright…"

His Sensei looks at him quizzically, one eyebrow raised at him. Leo can tell that he doesn't believe his lie—he was never really good at it in the first place. Whether he knows it or not, Splinter doesn't say anything. "Very well," he says instead. "Come, sit, my son."

Leo follows Master Splinter's gesture and sits in front of him, crossing his legs like his father. "So…" Splinter starts, "Tell me. What… What is wrong?" A sadden sigh left his lips. It must be shocking to hear his son's name again. Especially in such… unfortunate timing.

"Um-…" He huffs softly, "I don't know Master Splinter… It's just…" he exhales again, a little more frustrated in his breath, "We were in the Kraang's base and me and Mikey were fighting them off, while Donnie was trying to free April and her dad… Then…" Leo pauses, his words getting stuck in his throat.

"Then?" Master Splinter questions, reminding Leo to stay in this conversation instead of whatever goes on his mind.

"Then… Mikey said that he saw Raph…" He can feel his tears starting to brim in his eyes. His chest tightens slightly just by mentioning his brother's name.

It seems the same with his father. Even though he heard the entire argument, hearing his son's name still made his eyes widen, his chest visibly aching with all-knowing sorrow. They haven't mentioned his son's name in years. He has never even brought him up to the other three; it's simply too painful for him.

"I… I see…" Splinter finally speaks after a moment of heavy silence, "How… does it make you feel, Leonardo?" The fearless leader looks up at him, slightly confused, "What?"

"How does hearing about Raphael make you feel?"

Leo takes a moment as the question settles; how does it make me feel?

His heartbeat starts to quicken slightly as he tries to create an answer that even remotely makes any sense. Feelings have always been a difficult topic for him. Something he and Raph share in common.

"I…" The first word comes out only for his mouth to close again, his words threatening to break at the back of his throat. "I-..I don't know… I-I'm just… I guess I feel so… so much Master Splinter…" His voice unexpectedly tremors, shocking the man in front of the turtle in blue.

"I'm just so… overwhelmed," his voice breaks slightly. "I'm angry, and I'm sad, and I'm surprised— I'm feeling so much that I don't even know why!" The weight of his bottled-up emotions begins to crack; however he still attempts to restrain his tears from falling down his cheeks. "I'm angry because I've poured so much time into trying to move on! I'm sad because I remember how desperately I want him back here with me! And I'm surprised for obvious reasons!"

The rat dad hums in understanding as he strokes his beard. He could hear the pain in his son's voice, a desperate plea for guidance. Gently, he rested his hand on Leo's shoulder. "It's okay, my son," he said softly. "We all feel overwhelmed at times. Situations like this can be hard to bear…" His gaze softens as he continues, "Especially after carrying your burdens for so long…"

Leo wipes his tears with his palms, "I just… I don't know what to do Sensei… on one hand I want to believe Mikey, on the other… I just can't…"

"And why can't you?" Splinter asks.

"Because…" His eyes sting a little, causing his words to lay heavy on his throat. "Because it hurts…" he swallows hard, looking down, his lips pressed together in a thin line. His hands trying hard to remain steady but it still trembles on his knees

Splinter has seen all his sons cry, he's never one to neglect one's emotions and has always encouraged them to let it out, but his eyes still turn wide as he watches with his very eyes; his son breaking down in front of him.

"It hurts so much to hope… I-It just hurts! Ok?..." Leo's voice falters, a sob catching in his throat. "I've waited for years, Sensei, years… hoping, praying for him to come back. I searched the sewers every night for him, for three years! I snuck out of the lair just to find him for three years… And now he's just—he's just there, all this time?! I-I can't believe it! I can't believe he's still alive, no matter how much I want to…" His voice breaks again, barely holding back another sob. "Because what if it's not him? What if I get hurt all over again… I can't take that. I-I just… I just can't…"

Splinter hasn't seen this kind of pain in a while from his eldest before—so raw and so consuming. The last time his son choked in his sobs was the first couple days after Raph's disappearance. They all took it hard and sought comfort from one another, including Splinter himself seeking comfort from his sons.He can feel the familiar stab in his chest as he stares at his son, Leonardo, whose eyes are trying to hide his unhealed grief. He's too young for this… He thought, they're all too young for this…

He reaches out his furry hands, settling it on the back of Leo's head, pulling him into his fluffy chest. "It's okay Leonardo…" He mutters tenderly, "It's going to be okay…" He wraps his protective arms around him as he lets his son sob into his fur.

The dam finally breaks. All that pent-up emotion floods out as Leo cries in his father's arms, just like he did five years ago. "I want him back, Sensei… I-I really do…" he hiccups between sobs, curling into his father's chest, seeking comfort in the embrace that has always been his refuge.

"I know… I know…" Master Splinter mutters, feeling his own tears prickling in the inner corner of his eyes, "I wish to have him back as well…"

"What if it's not him?…" He bawled, "I-..I want it to be him so badly… But… But what if it's… not him…" his voice pitch turns higher as tears flow harder down the stream.

I don't want to get hurt again Sensei...

They both stayed there for a moment, embracing as father and son, seeking the comfort they both longed for in a while. "Leonardo…" Master Splinter speaks tenderly, breaking off from the hug but his hand remains on Leonardo's shoulders, "Listen to me…"

The blue-clad turtle shifts his tearful gaze to meet his Sensei's, revealing red, swollen eyes that speak of sleepless nights and hidden struggles. Splinter offers a warm smile, "Hope is never a curse. It's the force that drives people forward through life's challenges."

"But…" Leo begins, his voice trembling, "What if I was wrong? What if all that hope was for nothing…?"

"Being hopeful doesn't mean you're ignoring reality or making false promises to yourself," Splinter replies, his tone steady and unwavering. "It means you're choosing to survive, to push through, no matter how hard things become. Hope is your strength."

As those words sink in, Leo feels an undeniable lightness settle over his shoulders, as if the weight of the world is slowly lifting. "I… I see…" he murmurs, his voice trembling with a renewed sense of life, the throbbing in his chest beginning to heal.

Splinter beams at him, pride shining in his eyes. "Hold on to hope for what may come, and be strong when life hits you hard," he continues, his words wrapping around Leo like a protective embrace.

A bright smile breaks across his son's face, illuminating the shadows that have lingered too long. "I…," he begins, the warmth of his smile resonating in his voice, "I think I understand now… Thank you, Master Splinter…" His eyes glimmer as if he can finally see light breaking through the long, dark tunnel that has overshadowed his sigh for too long.

"Anytime, my son…" Splinter replies.

Leo stands in front of his little brother's room, anxiety creeping up his spine. He tries to shake it off, gathering the courage to talk to his brothers. He was planning on coming in with Donnie but it seems like he already went in before him.

Come on, Leo, you got this.

He lifts his hand to knock on the door, signaling his presence, then turns the knob and pushes it open just enough to catch a glimpse of his two younger brothers wrapped in each other's arms. "Oh…" Donnie says, shifting his gaze to his older brother. "Hey, Leo…"

"Um… Hey, guys," Leo says, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. "You two okay?"

A long pause hangs in the air, the room heavy with a depressing silence, before Mikey finally replies, "Yeah… I-I guess."

Leo's heart tightens at the sound of his little brother's voice, regret rising in his throat. "Oh… yeah, that's... that's good to hear…" he responds awkwardly, sitting beside the orange turtle. "Listen, Mikey… I'm…" He sighs, his shoulders slumping forward, the weight of his guilt bearing down in the silence. "I'm sorry…"

Mikey's gaze lifts up slightly, just enough to meet his older brother's eyes. "It's ok…" he replies, "I understand that you don't believe me. And that you think I'm stupid to think that Raph could be alive…"

"No no it's…" Leo sighs, "It's not your fault Mikey… I—… I'm so sorry for being rude to you just now… I shouldn't have said what I said…" he crosses his arms as his chest quickens its rhythm. "You're right. We should've talked about this sooner and I—…I'm so sorry for ignoring it for so long…"

He waits for a moment before continuing, taking their silence as their ears to listen. "I… I was just so scared of… of getting hurt again… that's why I avoided talking about Raph… because I was still… so hurt." He takes a deep breath, his tears choking on his throat, "I do, I really do want to believe you Mikey… But I just don't want to get my hopes up… If I do, I'll just get hurt all over again…"

The two stare at their brother, a little taken aback with what he has just revealed. It's rare for their older brother to be seen this vulnerable. "Oh… Leo…" Mikey coos, his warm heart melting at the sight of his brothers crying.

Leo chuckles wistfully, "It wasn't fair of me to push you both away… I really shouldn't have done that… I wanted to feel better but then instead I hurt you guys… and in the end I don't even feel better… I-I…" a lonely tear falls on his lap as he wipes away the second one from leaving his eyes, "I'm so sorry…"

The purple-masked turtle feels an instant pang in his chest as he can feel a subtle connection between him and his brother; a relatability factor. "Hey… It's fine Leo…" He says tenderly, "I… I get it… I was never the best at handling grief either… so I understand…"

Leo blinks for a moment before sharing a smile with his younger brother, "Thanks Don…"

"So…" Mikey utters softly, "Does that mean we'll bring him back?" He looks up at him with his wide puppy eyes, shimmering in an innocent glow that can tug the strings in Leo's chest.

"I…" His words drift slightly as he pauses for a moment, "I don't know Mikey… I just—"

"Can't believe that Raph is alive?" Donnie asks before Leo could even finish his sentence.

"Y—..Yeah.." He stutters, piercing his lips into a thin line as he tries to hold back his tears.

Donnie's eyes grew tender as he extended his long arms to his older brother, pulling him closer towards them. "What about if we hope together?" His smile radiates a quiet reassurance, like a gentle breeze soothing Leo's worry soul. "I mean… You're not going to go through this alone you know?… Of course we'll go through this together…"

Mikey warps one of his arms around Leo's torso, while the other one remains on Donnie's, squishing the orange turtle in the middle between his two brothers. "Yeah dude… we're always better when we're together, right?"

A single tear escapes Leo's defenses, slipping past the walls he's built, dampening the edge of his mask. The warmth of his brothers' embrace and their heartfelt words stir something deep inside him, a tenderness he thought he'd lost.

"Yeah… Yeah you're right, my little brothers…" he chokes out, his voice breaking with vulnerability. He pulls them closer, wrapping them in his arms as if afraid to let go. "Thank you…" He whispers, his heart aching and grateful all at once.

Mikey's eyes glisten as he lays his head on Leo's shoulder, letting his own water-works spill, while Donnie, the usually logical and composed turtle, hugs them tighter as if grounding all of them in this rare moment of vulnerability. After so long of struggling behind doors, Leo lets himself get held by his brothers. All the pain, grief, and sorrow dissipate into the air as four strong arms shield him from danger; and he knows he'll protect them with his own.

A moment of comfortable silence envelops the room as the three brothers settle into their positions, each finding solace in one another's presence. Then Mikey breaks the tranquility, his voice bright and hopeful, "Hey… Can we go in a turtle pile?"

Leo laughs softly, "I don't see why not." Donnie shrugs, remaining completely neutral about everything. As long as his brothers are happy, that's all he needs to be content.

"And by the way…" the eldest continues, "We will find Raph… and this time, I will pinky promise this."

Mikey gasps, "Really?" His eyes turn into stars as he looks at Leo, to which the blue-masked turtle remarks back with a chuckle.

He always finds it amusing that Mikey still believes that pinky promises mean a promise for life. To some people, it may seem childish, but to Leo, it highlights his unshaken innocent nature—something he's glad has stayed the same after all these hard years.

"Of course Mikey" He grins as he lifts up his smallest finger— They only have three fingers so he assumes it has to be the smallest one out of the three. Mikey eagerly wraps his finger around Leo's, a wide grin spreading across his face, glowing like a child who just got his Christmas present.

After he unlocks his finger with the youngest, Leo turns to his second brother, mischief lacing his smirk. "Alright, Donnie, your turn."

"Ex— Excuse me, what?" Donnie blinks, clearly caught off guard.

"Yeah, come on, Don!" Mikey chimes in, his excitement contagious, "You gotta pinky promise too!" Donatello shakes his head, his expression one of pure exasperation.

"Leo, I don't need a pinky promise. We don't even know if we have pinkies." He rolls his eyes, completely over this child-like behavior.

Leo laughs, teasing him. "Oh, come on, just use your smallest finger. It's close enough." He wiggled his 'pinky' in front of Donnie, nudging him to join in.

With a long, dramatic sigh, Donnie finally lifted his finger, muttering under his breath about the absurdity of it all. But the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips said he didn't mind being pulled into their little moment.

They all shared a laugh as they went to the couch and snuggled up together into a their pile on the floor. No one's quite sure why the floor is always better, but for them, it just is.

Leo rests his head on a cushion, positioned in the middle, with both arms wrapped tightly around his younger brothers. Donnie's arm stretches over Leo's body, barely reaching across to Mikey's, his whole body relaxing into their shared company. Mikey, as usual, snuggles in comfortably, falling asleep almost instantly—it's a skill he's always had, being able to sleep anywhere.

They embrace the warmth of each other's presence, a closeness they have longed for. It's been so long since they've felt this… connected.

The last time they've done this was 2 years ago... Splinter watches as his son's chest rises and falls peacefully, sleeping soundly in their pile.

A tender ache swells in his chest, his grip tightening on his wooden staff. Being a father has always been difficult; the pain of losing two children feels unbearable already. Yet moments like these—seeing them together, at peace—brings a glimmer of hope in his eyes. It might be fragile, but it's real. A new hope for a better future, not only for him, but for his sons too.

Keep running. Just keep running. Don't look back. Just keep running.

No matter how much his muscles cramp, or if his legs are about to snap into two, just keep running. Cold sweat drenches his skin, mixing with the blood from his open scars. His lungs burn and sears with each foot pounding off the ground, the floor almost feels like stepping on lava, but it didn't matter. He can't stop. Not now. Not when their tentacles could crawl up behind him at any moment.

His eyes dart frantically, the fear gnawing at him that there's a possibility that someone is right behind him, lurking behind the shadows. That someone might just drag him back there. He didn't dare look back. His feet skidded on the uneven ground, tripping over some bumpy surfaces, but he kept going, driven by pure terror.

Just keep running.

He turns into some corner and finds a huge green metallic-like box, it has a black cover on top, so he guesses it should be hollow inside. He lifts up the lid and finds a bunch of stuff in it, he can't even explain how much there was in this box. He blinks, fascinated that a container could hold so much weight. The smell was very irritable but he can handle it. He could hide here for the time being.

He settles into this odd bunker, as he closes the lid, feeling slightly safer. Unfortunately it's quite dark but T-0028 is quite used to it by now. There's still some light coming from the small holes punctures from the cover, so I guess that's something.

He lets out that breath he's been holding onto as he lays his back on the wall of the box, finally letting his mind catch up to the present. He can't believe he has escaped. It almost feels like a dream.

It was difficult to get up that hole, especially since the roof was pretty high. He was definitely not gifted with his height. He had to stack dismembered Kraang bodies to be able to get up that height.

He sits there quietly, exhausted and drained but at the same time an overwhelming amount of relief washes over him. Is this what freedom feels like?

His eyes grew teary as his newfound freedom had finally been achieved. After so long of torture, experiments, and suffering, he's finally free. The realization hit him all at once, unleashing a flood of raw emotion that he could no longer contain. His chest tightened, and the tears that fell were not just of relief, but of the overwhelming joy that his heart couldn't suppress. After so long, he's free.

Unfortunately, the pleasant silence was interrupted by a loud rumble coming from his stomach. Oh God... he forgot how starving he is. They haven't even fed him since yesterday. Or the day before.

He looks around for any food he can find, surprised by the lack of options despite the abundance in this box. Perhaps it's just that he doesn't know what qualifies as food.

As his hands dig for anything that he can deem edible, he finds a peculiar yellow thing with dark brown splotches on it. He stares at it for a moment, puzzled by what it could possibly be. It's a little funny-looking, to be honest; it has three long limbs that are attached to one another, and flipping it over reveals a lighter yellow underside, slicker than the outer layer. He wonders what would happen if he stepped on one of these. Bringing it closer to his nose, he takes a sniff, detecting an oddly pleasant aroma. It's probably safe to eat.

He takes a bite and discovers it's sturdier than it looks, yet he manages to tear off a piece with his bare teeth. He let his mouth chew out its flavor; it's tough to bite and carries a strong bitterness, but there's an unexpected hint of sweetness beneath it. He has no idea if whatever he's eating is safe, but God forbid he return to the horrendous food the Kraang offers. Whatever this is, it's far better than that. To this day, T-0028 still doesn't know what the food the Kraang gives is made of, and he honestly doesn't want to find out either.

Sadly, the piece of food is quite tiny, so it's really not enough to fill his stomach, but at least for once in his life he managed to eat good food. He eats the last bit of his meal and decides to sit out the night. He really doesn't want to sleep; the fear coiling in his gut at the mere thought of being taken back to that horror trembles in his core, but his exhaustion still tries to pull him out of consciousness.

At some point, after hours of fighting off sleep, his body simply couldn't handle the stress. As his eyelids grew heavier, the weight of weariness presses down on him like an anchor. With the last few flickers of consciousness, his limbs slowly relax, surrendering to the fatigue that has overwhelmed him, and he drifts off into a restless sleep.

If you guys can't guess what Raph is eating, it's a banana peel. Idk i tried explaining it without actually saying the word lmao.