Crush
All three Summers were gathered around the kitchen table for dinner. Joyce, who regretted being sometimes too preoccupied with her work at the gallery to be as present for her daughters as she would have liked, took the opportunity to inquire:
«Is everything going well at school, girls? Any news?»
Dawn replied distractedly, twirling her spaghetti around her fork:
«The spinach in the cafeteria is awful. The boys are stupid, always yelling and playing silly games. And I think Mr. Stoker should cut out the coffee; he's so nervous. But other than that, I'm fine. I made a friend, Janice; she's nice and lent me her coloring book.
– And what about you, Buffy?
– Nothing special… Oh, yes, we have a new biology teacher, Ms. French. She's replacing Mr. Gregory. She seems very passionate about all these weird creatures… Quite pretty… And she was wearing a rather short skirt for a teacher, and the boys in the class were all… motivated to study. You should have seen Xander; he was so… motivated to study… he was practically drooling.
– What? Xander? Dawn cried angrily. For a teacher? That's disgusting! A teacher shouldn't be "motivating" students like that! She should be fired! She should be reported to the principal!»
Dawn broke off her tirade when she noticed her mother and sister looking at her strangely.
«Hey, bug, Buffy teasingly asked, aren't you a little jealous? I knew it! You have a crush on Xander, don't you? Oh, isn't that cute? My little sister has her first crush, how adorable is that!»
Dawn covered her embarrassed face in her hands and, getting up from the table, ran out of the room.
«Honey, come back, you haven't finished your pasta!» Joyce called back.
But Dawn didn't reappear. After dinner, Buffy had to go and find her in her room. The little girl was sitting cross-legged on her bed, hunched over, looking sad and confused. But she didn't protest when her big sister came to sit next to her and hugged her.
«Sorry, Dawn. I shouldn't have teased you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.
– It's not your fault, the girl said, pouting. I blame myself for having such silly feelings. Alex isn't for me, he's too old, I'm just a kid. Even if it weren't for that teacher, he's got a crush on you, and then I know there'll be another girl, and then another… I'm not stupid, I know I don't stand a chance.
– Dawnie, you don't have to worry about this already. You're still a little girl, you have all the time in the world. But one day, when you're older, you'll meet a nice boy who will make you happy. I'm sure of it.»
Dawn closed her eyes and snuggled against her sister. She could feel Buffy's heartbeat, and it was wonderful. In her old life, after the battle with Glory, she had often curled up against the Buffy-robot, seeking a crumb of comfort. But it wasn't the same.
The robot had no heartbeat.
«What an old-fashioned idea, Buffy, as if a girl needed a boy to make her happy! And I'm already happy for one thing…
– Really, you are?»
It was comforting to hear. With the Slayer responsibilities she'd been saddled with, Buffy would have had a hard time saying if she was happy. If at least her sister was, that was the most important thing.
«I am, Dawn replied confidently. I'm happy with you and Mom. You're my heaven, you know.
– Your heaven?
–Yes, Dawn assured. You're everything to me. When you or Mom hold me, I feel warm. Loved. Safe, and complete. For me, that's my heaven.»
Buffy pressed a kiss to her sister's hair. She had to go on patrol, it had been agreed upon with Giles. But she had a very hard time releasing Dawn from her embrace that evening.