A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Now the return of some Lily/Sev dysfunction and Christmas in September. Enjoy!
Chapter 7 - 1.7 or "You'll Never Believe What My Dad Gave Me for Christmas"
"So you're saying that if we add crushed scarab beetles instead of whole ones, the drinker won't suffer the side effects of giddiness?"
Lily nodded slightly, her finger running along the lines in her Potions book. She was sitting in a corner of the school library with Severus, working on an essay for Slughorn about the pitfalls of the Scintillation Solution.
"It should work," she said after a moment. "According to the book, they're used in the Wit-Sharpening Potion for a similar purpose, and the Wit-Sharpening Potion has the same base as the Scintillation Solution." She shrugged. "We can try it tomorrow in class and see if it works."
Severus nodded as he jotted hurried notes down on a piece of parchment.
"All right," he said, glancing briefly at Lily before turning back to his parchment, "as long as we don't forget to stir in the horned slugs before the daisy roots."
Lily flipped to the back of her book and tapped the end of her quill idly against her jaw, as another idea took hold.
"Maybe we could chop the daisy roots vertically as opposed to horizontally," she suggested. "I think they'd cook quicker."
He glanced at her again and went back to his notes. "Yeah," he said, "I hadn't thought about that. We should try it."
"This is fun," Lily said, grinning. "Who knew that Potions would be so entertaining?"
Severus nodded but didn't look up.
"It's a bit like cooking, I guess," she continued, stretching her arms above her head. They had been huddled in their corner for over an hour and her muscles were starting to tense. "Which is funny if you think about it, because I've always hated cooking. I'm total rubbish. I think I actually burnt water once, which I didn't even know you could do."
Severus let out a low chuckle and continued jotting down notes on his parchment. They had been in school for several months now, and the two of them had started meeting in the library a few times a week to work on Potions, which they both seemed to have a natural knack for. Despite her earlier claim that being sorted into two different houses wouldn't change their friendship, it was difficult to find other time to spend together.
So in the end, even though they didn't exactly need to, the pair had spent quite a lot of time together, huddled in the corner of the library, working on Potions tricks that went above and beyond the curriculum. It wasn't exactly the most conventional way to spend time – she understood that – but she continued to look forward to their meetings. Adin tended to roll her eyes whenever Lily would have to go off to meet Severus, but Lily stubbornly refused to let it affect her.
"Well lookie here, it's Sevvie and the Mudblood."
Both of them looked up, startled, at a group of three Slytherins that had appeared from behind one of the nearby shelves.
"Ouch, that hurts, Avery," snapped Lily. "How long did it take you to come up with that insult?"
Avery bristled. Behind him, Halden Wilkes just cracked his knuckles and Mulciber leered at her hungrily.
"Are you actually attempting to talk to us, Mudblood?" Avery asked.
"Attempting," said Lily, "but failing, because I don't speak tosspot, so you'll need to translate for me."
The Slytherins all stared at her, apparently at a loss for words. Finally, Avery turned to Severus, who was watching them warily.
"What are you doing with her, Snape?"
Severus gestured to the books in front of them. "We're working on Potions."
A trickle of disappointment pooled in Lily's stomach. Of course he wouldn't admit to being anything more than a study partner of hers. Despite what he had told her long ago in a wooded clearing near Spinner's End, she had quickly discovered that her Muggle parentage mattered to some people. Not to Severus, and not to any of the Gryffindors she had met, but it seemed to be a sticking point with many of the Slytherins. Their friendship could not be flaunted. She understood, and she went along with it, but she also felt dirtied by it. Mudblood, indeed.
"Well get away from this one as soon as you're finished," said Avery. "You wouldn't want any of her Mudblood germs to rub off on you."
"You'd better get away too, Avery," said Lily. "You wouldn't want any of my IQ points to rub off on you."
She thought she heard Severus stifle a laugh, but when she glanced at him, he was looking blankly at his fellow Slytherins.
"You'd better watch that sharp tongue, Evans," Mulciber growled, "or we might just have to remove it for you."
The boys turned and stalked away, but not before Lily had made a very overt display of rolling her eyes at them. She was not scared of the Slytherin boys. It's not like they would ever do anything to her with the teachers around other than make idle threats. She turned back to Severus, who was now picking at a candle burn on the table.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"What?"
"I said I'm sorry," he repeated and she had to to strain to hear him. "I should have told them to bugger off. I shouldn't have let them talk to you like that."
Lily didn't know how to respond. The fact was, this was not the first time his fellow Slytherins (his…friends?) had been rude to her, and this was not the first time he had failed to do anything about it. This was, however, the first time he had apologized for his inaction.
"Well…" she started unevenly. And then she laughed at the absurdity of it all. Severus's head snapped up.
"What's so funny?"
"You don't have to protect me, Sev. I can handle Avery and his friends."
"Yeah, but…"
"But nothing," she said, not knowing if she even believed the words coming out of her mouth. "They're in your house…I get it. You don't want to – to make enemies. I understand." And she did understand, to a degree. Severus was feeling the same way she had when he had gotten into fights with James and Sirius. The difference was, she had defended him.
He swallowed and nodded, looking relieved. "All right."
"But thanks." It was not genuine, she realized after she had said it. She wanted to see how he would respond. "I mean, thanks for not calling me a Mudblood or whatever even when the rest of them do. Not that I care," she added quickly.
Severus looked up and right into her eyes, and there was something there that she had never seen before. Pride – she recognized after a second. He was actually proud of himself for not calling her a Mudblood.
"You're welcome," he said.
Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than to get away from him.
As Christmas drew nearer and the castle transformed into a winter wonderland, James found himself rather conflicted. He was excited to get away from the school for a few weeks and to see his parents, but he was also dreading how they would receive him. With the exception of the one time he had received a Howler when he was seven, he had never actually been punished by his parents. He knew for a fact, however, that they would not be very impressed with all of the owls they had been sent by Professor McGonagall regarding James's numerous detentions.
On top of the anxiety he felt at seeing his parents again, James was deeply regretting having to leave his friends, even if only for a few weeks. Out of all of them, only Peter seemed excited for the holiday. Remus had regressed to the quiet nervousness that had plagued him at the start of term, and James spent many hours pondering what his friend had to be nervous about. Sirius, similarly, was clearly dreading the holiday, though he was a bit more obvious about it than Remus. He would be spending the break alone in the castle. As much as James loved Hogwarts, the idea of being the only student left in Gryffindor Tower at Christmas was a depressing thought indeed. Whenever anyone would mention the upcoming break, Sirius would make some wry joke before going quiet for an extended period of time. Sirius didn't ever offer much information to his friends about his family – except perhaps a few choice names he would call Narcissa when they passed her in the corridor – and James, Remus, and Peter had never exactly found the way to bring it up.
It was about a week before Christmas break when a fantastic idea had come to James in the middle of the night, as he had been lying awake making a mental list of all the Quidditch moves he would need to practice over the holiday. He sprung up from his bed and threw back the curtains; all four of his roommates appeared to be sound asleep.
"Lumos," he whispered after grabbing his wand from the bedside table. Using the small pool of light, he grabbed a quill and a sheet of parchment and began scribbling.
Dear Mum and Dad,
Hope you're well. Lessons are good. I was wondering if it's okay that my friend Sirius comes home with me for Christmas. I told you about him in the letter I sent earlier in the term. He'd have to stay in the castle otherwise and I'd imagine that would be a lonely holiday. Plus, it'd just be a miserable Christmas for me if I knew he's here all alone, so if he can't come, I think I'd like to stay in the castle with him.
Write back soon,
James
He stowed the letter on the table with his quill, whispered a quick "Nox!" and turned over to try and get some sleep.
Unfortunately, sleep didn't come to him that night as easily as it usually did. James woke up early the next morning, far earlier than usual, anyhow. A peak through his red curtains and out the window alerted him to the half-risen sun and the fact that he still had some time before the others would wake and they could go down to breakfast. He flopped around trying to get comfortable, but the idea of his parents letting Sirius come home with him excited him so much that sleep was futile.
After an hour or so, James finally gave up and rose to get ready for the day. He had a quick shower, threw on his robes, and wrote a short note to his friends to let them know that he would meet them at breakfast. By the time he had finished, the sun had risen a great deal higher in the sky and he knew that they would all be getting up soon.
Snatching the letter off of his bedside table, he left the dormitory and spiraled down the staircase into the common room, which he was surprised to find occupied by Lily Evans, curled in a chair by the fire, reading – of all things – a Potions book.
"Hi Lily." She jumped, her vivid green eyes searching the room for the source of the voice. She finally found him at the foot of the staircase and smiled hesitantly.
"Hullo," she said. He fidgeted when he noticed the way she went slightly pink around her cheeks.
"What are you doing up so early?" he asked, looking around at the empty common room.
She shrugged and held up her book for him to see. "Just reading a bit before class."
James grimaced as he made his way toward the portrait hole. "Potions at any time gives me a headache," he said. "The thought of Potions before breakfast makes me lose my appetite."
Lily grinned and shrugged again. "I couldn't sleep. Where are you off to this early?"
"The Owlery." He indicated the letter in his hands. "I'll see you later."
He jumped out of the portrait hole and made his way up to the Owlery, still slightly queasy at the idea of sitting around this early in the morning reading a Potions book. He didn't know Lily Evans that well, but he hadn't pegged her as a bookworm, even if she did seem to enjoy flying circles around all of them in Slughorn's lessons.
His visit to the Owlery was uneventful, with the minor exception of sliding on some owl droppings and practically falling down the stairs, but James wasn't in any hurry to mention that to anyone. By the time Ari had flown off into the dull, cloudy morning with the letter secured to his leg, James was starting to wish he had gotten a bit more sleep the night before. His eyelids were beginning to feel uncharacteristically heavy.
It wasn't until he was making his way through the third floor corridor to breakfast that a very large, bony lump tackled him from behind.
"There you are! What were you thinking about, running off all on your own this morning?"
James straightened his glasses and smoothed his rumpled clothes a bit before glaring at Sirius, who had an arm thrown over his shoulders. Remus and Peter stood a bit behind them, the former looking amusedly irritated by Sirius and the latter laughing nervously.
"Geroff, you git," James said, pushing Sirius away from him. "I left you a note. I had to run to the Owlery."
"Sirius had separation anxiety," Remus said dryly.
"I did not!"
"When he woke up and saw that you had already left, he burst into tears and started whimpering something about you getting eaten by a Lethifold."
James and Peter burst into laughter while Sirius shot Remus an unappreciative hand gesture.
"Hey, don't dish it if you can't take it," James told him.
Sirius threw back a tapestry revealing a hidden staircase that they had found during one of their nighttime wanderings. He grinned at Remus as they descended it into a narrow corridor that led to the entrance hall.
"Never knew you had it in you, Remus," he said proudly.
Remus grinned sheepishly. "What can I say? You lot bring out the sarcasm in me."
The boys' laughter caught in their throats as they turned the corner to find a small group of students in the doorway leading to the entrance hall. As they made their way closer, they recognized the group as consisting of first-year Slytherins who seemed to be laughing and pointing at something they were surrounding. James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all moved forward, trying their best to remain inconspicuous for as long as possible. But when James saw what the source of the Slytherins' glee was, all rational thought flew out the window. Fury that James didn't know he even possessed reared up within him at the sight.
Lily Evans was lying on the stone floor, stiff as a board, her arms and legs clamped tightly together and her eyes staring furiously up at her attackers.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
The Slytherins barely had the chance to turn and look at him before Sirius collided with Marshall Avery in a blur of flying fists and muffled obscenities.
"Let…go…stupid…Slytherin…bastard…"
James's wand was out, but he didn't know who to jinx first. His hesitation cost him. The next moment, Halden Wilkes had placed a well-aimed hex at Sirius, who had flown off of Avery and into the doorframe. James shot a jelly-legs jinx at Wilkes, which hit its mark but drew the attention of the other Slytherins from Sirius and onto James. Dodging a few hexes, James was relieved to see Remus and Peter hurrying over to make sure Lily was okay. He threw a jinx at Mulciber that missed and hit the doorway, where a twitchy, pale boy stood in the shadows, watching the entire ordeal. James recognized Snape at once, but before he could even register the information, he was hit by a jinx from behind and started tap dancing uncontrollably.
Trying to control his jerking legs was useless, although James realized a moment later that he needn't have worried. It took a few flashes of her fiery red hair for him to comprehend that Lily was up and shooting spells at the Slytherins with the force of the rest of them combined. Sirius had got back to his feet, but was standing near the wall, watching Lily's spellwork with his mouth hanging open. She had hit every one of the Slytherins with some sort of jinx that caused them to sprout tentacles across their faces, except for Snape, who had disappeared right after Lily had been released. With a flick of her wand and a murmured incantation, James stopped dancing. Wilkes, Avery, and Mulciber now stood clustered near the wall, all grimacing at the painful tentacles and eyeing Lily's wand warily.
Lily looked like she might breathe fire, and James made a note to himself to never get on her bad side.
"Don't you ever touch me again, you arrogant snotrag," she spat at Wilkes, who seemed to be trying to look unconcerned, but whose eyes kept darting to the wand pointed at his chest. She then turned and stared down all three of the Slytherins. "If you so much as ever speak to me again, I'll hex you into seventh year."
Avery snorted. "Do you really think any of us are scared of a Mudblood like you?"
Lily stared at him, a look of pure disgust on her face. "How many of your little friends did you need to take down this Mudblood, Avery?" Avery just blinked at her through his tentacle-covered face. "That's what I thought. I wouldn't be so confident if I were you."
The sound of teachers' voices from the entrance hall filtered into the corridor and all of the students turned to look at the doorway. The Slytherins, in particular, looked quite uncomfortable in their current state.
"This isn't over," sneered Avery, making sure to glare at each of the five Gryffindors.
"Come on," Mulciber urged, and the three of them walked in the opposite direction from the entrance hall, most likely headed to the hospital wing for tentacle removal.
The Gryffindors stood in the corridor for a moment in silence, the boys looking awkwardly at Lily, who had suddenly gone quite red.
"Thanks," she said, staring at the ground.
"What happened?" Remus asked gently.
"The usual," she said, rolling her eyes. "I came down to breakfast early and ran into them in the corridor and they started being their usual charming selves, so I told them to go flush their heads in a toilet and then Wilkes hit me with a Petrificus Totalus and I guess that's when you all walked in."
Sirius let out a guttural growl. "I'll kill them with my bare hands."
"They're not worth it. Seriously," she added, grinning at him. "I'm going to get some breakfast for real now. Hopefully I can make it to the Great Hall this time."
"Are you sure you're all right?" Remus asked.
"I'm fine, honestly. It was just a Petrificus Totalus was all."
"Come on," James said. "We'll walk with you to the Great Hall."
Lily blushed again. "I really don't need a guard of honor," she muttered, but the boys took it upon themselves to surround her completely as they made their way through the entrance hall and into the Great Hall.
"I think you should tell McGonagall," said Remus, with a pointed glance at the staff table, but Lily shook her head.
"Really, it's not a big deal. Did you see their faces? They won't be coming near me for a while, I can tell you that."
"Where'd you learn how to hex like that, anyway?" James asked, remembering the impressive display of jinxes Lily had shot off.
"Oh." She suddenly looked slightly uncomfortable. "Just from, er, a friend. Just for fun, you know?"
"Well you were brilliant at them," said James.
"Thanks," Lily said softly, blushing a brilliant shade of crimson. "Oh, look, there's Adin," she said, scurrying away toward where her friend sat.
"Where have you been?" asked Adin, as Lily sat down next to her and helped herself to some eggs.
"Just ran into some pests in the corridor, sorry I'm late."
Adin looked down the table at the four boys, obviously confused as to why Lily was calling them pests.
"You're not late, I was just wondering where you were is all."
But Lily, already having faced her share of humiliation that morning, wanted to get off the subject as soon as possible.
"Can you pass me some toast, Adin?"
Lily ate in silence for several minutes, her thoughts on the events of the morning and on Severus. She was shaken, but more by his actions (or inaction) than by the attack itself. He was supposed to be her best friend and, perhaps more importantly, she was supposed to be his. It wasn't until the post was being delivered by hundreds of swooping owls that Lily noticed the other Slytherin boys skulk into the hall, all now tentacle-free, and all throwing contemptuous glares toward where James and Sirius sat near the end of the Gryffindor table. Lily watched as Avery and Mulciber took seats on either side of Severus, watched as Wilkes leaned across the table to say something to him, watched as Severus's face betrayed nothing but stony impassivity, and she suddenly felt the urge to fling something across the room at his head.
"Oh blimey," Adin said, her eyes on the piece of parchment that had just been delivered by her owl. "'Today you shall read a book that may be a bit unsettling, but if you read between the lines, you'll be able to glean a lesson from the book that will have a profound effect on your personal outlook.' Eurgh, we have History of Magic first thing, surely I'm not supposed to read between the lines of that text, am I?"
Adin had a subscription to Your Daily Diviner, a newsletter that delivered prophetic advice to her every morning. Lily had grown used to the seriousness with which Adin took her morning forecasts.
"Let me read yours," Adin continued, when Lily didn't answer her. She turned the parchment over and ran her finger down it, searching. "Let's see…here we are…Aquarius. 'A key friendship will require your patience, if not your sympathy. Remember the friends who are worth fighting for.'" She paused, and then grinned up at Lily. "Well you'll certainly need to sympathize with me if I have to actually read our History of Magic book."
Lily forced a laugh and tore her gaze from the sight at the Slytherin table. "Yeah…and I'll need patience, too. The History of Magic book is about two thousand pages long."
"Yes," nodded Adin. "Please remember our friendship is worth fighting for when I'm eaten alive by the History of Magic book."
The laugh was less forced this time, but as Adin began reading the forecasts for Raeanne and Mary, Lily's attention wandered back to Severus. She needed to talk to him without James, or Sirius, or Adin, or any other Slytherins around. It seemed to take forever, but it was fifteen minutes later that she watched him grab his bag and make for the entrance hall, thankfully alone. Seizing her opportunity, and still not sure what to say to him, Lily hopped up from the bench. Adin stared at her questioningly.
"I forgot my book in the common room," she lied quickly. "Meet you in class."
And without waiting for a response, she took off out of the Great Hall and after Severus. It wasn't until she reached the Transfiguration corridor that she caught up with him.
"Sev! Hey, Severus!"
He turned and stared at her questioningly as she ran up to him. Up close, he looked paler than usual, and much more nervous. His eyes darted around the hallway, but it was empty apart from a group of Hufflepuffs making their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts.
"Listen…" she began, but he cut her off.
"Are you okay?" he asked quickly, his eyes still glancing through the corridor.
"Yes, of course. I'm – I'm fine." He shifted awkwardly but didn't say anything. She took a deep breath. "Look…I saw you. In the corridor before breakfast. I'm not an idiot, I know that you're the one that lifted the hex off of me. If you hadn't been there to help me –"
But he cut her off again.
"Then you would have been fine with Potter and his friends."
Of all the ways she had thought the conversation might have turned, this was not one of them.
"What are you talking about?"
"You should be thanking them," he said viciously. "They're the ones that got there first and helped you."
"Yeah, they did," Lily snapped, losing her patience. "They got there and they didn't do much other than get themselves hexed, but at least they aren't too scared of what people will think of them to try to help –"
"– but I did help –"
"And we just covered that!" Her voice, previously a loud whisper, was now bordering on just plain old loud. Severus's eyes once again darted around the corridor, and he pulled her to the side as a group of older Ravenclaws pushed past.
"Why are you angry?"
"Why am I angry? For someone so clever, you can be really daft sometimes, Sev. I was attacked on my way to breakfast by your mates –"
"They aren't my –"
"– and I'm glad you showed up to remove the hex, but then you just disappeared! You just left me there without a word, because you're scared they'll know we're friends, and heaven forbid they know you're friendly with someone like me, because then maybe they wouldn't like you, right Sev? It's only been a few months and they mean more to you than I do, and you just won't admit it."
"That's not true," he said quietly. "That's not true, Lily."
"Then why did you lurk in the shadows where they couldn't see you helping me?" He did not answer. Lily breathed deeply, trying to steady her thumping heart and burning eyes. "Why are you so embarrassed by me?"
"I – embarrassed? I'm not embarrassed by you, I swear. I – I…" He looked at her desperately, his expression pleading. "I'll make sure they leave you alone from now on, Lily, I swear. If…if…" He trailed off and then seemed to gather himself. "They won't hex you again, I'll make sure of it."
The corridor was filling up as more and more students hurried to their lessons, and Lily knew she had to leave soon if she didn't want to be late for History of Magic. She felt hollowed out by her disappointment in him.
"It's fine," she said at last. "It's fine. I…I'll see you in Potions this afternoon."
"Lily…"
"I have to get to class." Her voice, so passionate before, was soft and defeated. "Bye, Sev."
And with that, she turned and hurried down the corridor, not looking back once when the anguished voice of her best friend called her name.
The week before the Christmas holidays found James nervously awaiting the return of Ari. Every morning at breakfast, he would stare up into the swirling sky of the Great Hall, desperately searching for a glimpse of Ari's dark brown feathers, but to no avail. Sirius was becoming more and more irritable as Christmas drew nearer, snapping one word answers at anyone with the gall to try and have a conversation with him, resulting in an uncomfortable few moments in Charms a few days before break, when Lily Evans told Sirius that if he didn't stop snapping at her, she would use a spell to glue his lips together for a day. Sirius sulked for the rest of the afternoon and James didn't blame him; after watching Lily take on the Slytherins, he had no intention of ever getting on her bad side.
The night before the end of term, James had just about given up hope. The threat he had put in his letter – to stay at Hogwarts for the holiday with Sirius – weighed guiltily on his mind. He had been so looking forward to being home for a few weeks and flying on his own broom again instead of the useless school brooms, and, selfishly, he would much rather have Sirius come visit his house than for them both to stay at the castle for the next two weeks. Sirius's gloominess was wearing off onto him, and he even noticed that Remus and Peter seemed to have abandoned hope in trying to cheer up their brooding friend. James stumbled up to the boys' dormitory earlier than usual, deciding as he went that he would drag Sirius on the train with him the next day, even if he still hadn't heard from his parents. It's not like they would be able to turn Sirius away when they met him at the train station. James knew his parents better than that.
His decision turned out to be unnecessary, though, for he found Ari perched expectantly on his bed with a half-frozen piece of parchment tied to his leg.
"Finally!" James said, tearing the seal apart and scanning his eyes frantically over his mother's dignified handwriting.
Dear James,
We are very sorry for the short notice, but Aristotle needed a few days to recover from the snow before he could take our reply. Please be careful about deciding when to send him out. You know that he doesn't do very well flying in the snow.
About your friend Sirius, after long consideration, your father and I both agree that he may come for the holidays, because the last thing we would want is for you to stay at Hogwarts at Christmastime with only one other boy to keep you company. Christmas is a time for family, and we want you home. And as the Boneses are traveling this holiday and won't be joining us on Boxing Day as usual, it may be nice for you to have a friend around. We will pick you both up from the Hogwarts Express on Saturday.
Stay out of trouble until then,
Mum
James's first instinct was to reach over and stroke Ari's cold feathers regretfully. His parents had often reminded him that Ari wasn't meant for the snow, but it tended to slip his mind.
"Sorry, buddy," he murmured and Ari hooted gratefully, taking flight out of the open window, no doubt to go find refuge in the Owlery. James, however, didn't even see him fly away, as he had already bounded out of the dormitory and back down the spiral stairs to find Sirius.
Remus and Peter were right where James had left them – playing a very one-sided game of wizard's chess. In the few minutes that James had been absent, Remus had apparently captured Peter's last bishop, so that all Peter had left defending his king were a pawn and a knight. He stared at the board with a miserable expression on his face.
"Where'd Sirius go?" James asked, trying to contain his excitement.
Peter looked up from the board and pointed to a squishy armchair next to the fire, where Sirius was slumped, staring into the flames. James made a beeline over to him.
"Great news," he said without preamble. "You're coming to my house for Christmas."
Sirius's eyes snapped up.
"What?"
"I sent an owl to my parents a week ago and they just sent one back saying you can come stay with us over the holiday!"
Sirius didn't say anything for several moments, and the strange expression that overtook his face made James's happiness deflate a bit. His friend looked as if he was going through about fifteen different emotions at once.
"I mean…if you want to…" James offered lamely.
Sirius looked up at him with that same strange expression before smiling brighter than James had seen him smile in a fortnight.
"It'd be great," he said. And then a moment later, he sat up straight and his smile changed from happiness to pure, unadulterated excitement. "Are we…oh blimey…are we going to get to ride in your parents' motorcar?"
James just grinned back.
The next day took some finagling. James and Sirius skulked in a shadowy corridor just off the entrance hall while Remus and Peter kept watch of the queued students as they climbed into the horseless carriages that would shepherd them to Hogsmeade. It was important, Sirius insisted, that they catch a carriage after Narcissa, so that he could avoid being seen by his cousin and thus avoid having his parents discover that he was going home with James. Once on the train, he could easily hide in a compartment all the way to London, and no one in his family would ever be the wiser.
There was just one problem.
"Sirius?"
He and James both started and jumped back from where they had been peering surreptitiously around the corner. Andromeda Black was standing behind them, wearing a traveling cloak and looking bemused.
"Andromeda!" His voice squeaked. "Hi!"
"What are you doing back here?" asked his cousin. Sirius glanced instinctively toward his bag, which lay conspicuously at his feet, and Andromeda's eyes were drawn to it as well. She frowned. "I thought you were staying in the castle for Christmas?"
"Er…well, I…"
"Sirius," she said, her voice sharp, "are you going back to London?"
Sirius glanced nervously at James, who took the hint.
"I'll just go check on the carriage queue," James said, backing around the corner and out of sight. Sirius sighed and turned back to his cousin.
"I'm not going back to London," he admitted, resigned to the fact that this plan would be in shambles if Andromeda was in a snitching kind of mood. Then his eyes fell on her bag and traveling cloak, and the way she was shifting nervously. "Wait a minute – I thought you were staying in the castle for Christmas as well?"
They both stood there for a second, eyes narrowed suspiciously at one another. Something wasn't adding up. He and Andromeda were not close confidants, by any means, but it seemed to him that she should have told him if she had decided not to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas, at least. Then he realized the hypocrisy of that sentiment.
"You – you're not going to Grimmauld Place, are you?" she asked, but it came off as more of a statement than a question. His silence seemed to be all the affirmation she needed, though, and she nodded solemnly. "It's for the best," she said. "Your parents…well, it sounds as if they still need some time to cool down. If you went home, they'd…"
She didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need her to.
"Don't tell," he said, surprised by how pleadingly it had come out of his mouth. "Please. I'm going to James Potter's for the holiday. He invited me, and I thought it wouldn't be as lonely as staying in the castle, and I couldn't go home, you know I couldn't."
"I won't," she said.
"So you are going home then?" Sirius asked, relieved.
She shifted again. "I…well, no, I'm not. But the family thinks I'm staying here too, so if you don't mention anything, neither will I."
"All right," he shrugged. "But where are you going?"
"To…to a friend's house, like you. I just didn't want all the questions and, you know…the inquisition…"
He did know. He nodded. "Are you catching the train, then?"
"Oh no. I'll be apparating from Hogsmeade with my friend."
At this point, James's head popped back around the corner and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "All…er…clear," he said, with an awkward glance toward Andromeda. "Are you still coming, Sirius?"
Sirius nodded and shouldered his bag, smiling gratefully up at his cousin.
"Narcissa always sits at the front of the train, so steer toward the back and you should be fine," said Andromeda, returning his smile. "Just don't cause any trouble and bring attention to yourself."
Excitement was now building within him once more as he beamed at her and made to leave. "Happy Christmas, Andromeda."
"Happy Christmas, Sirius."
Two girls, perhaps only a year or two older than him, walked arm and arm down the street, giggling at nothing at all. They were both rosy cheeked from the cold and wrapped in heavy coats, hats, and scarves. Sirius watched them as the car drove up the snowy street toward what he could only assume was the Potters' house. A happiness and warmth that he had rarely known was trying to burst out of him, and when the two girls both stared right back at him through the car window, he smiled quite unabashedly.
"And what about Potions, darling, you haven't told us about Potions yet!"
James rolled his eyes at Sirius. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had been asking him questions about his life at Hogwarts ever since the boys had disembarked from the Hogwarts Express (only after ensuring that Narcissa and her parents had disappeared off of the platform), and Sirius could tell that James was getting quite bored with the interrogation.
"It's fine, Mum," he said. "Professor Slughorn's fine and the class is fine." He reached over and swatted at Sirius's hand when the latter started cranking the window down for the twentieth time. "Will you give it a rest, you prat, it's about two degrees out."
Sirius grinned and shrugged and went back to happily clicking and unclicking his seat belt. It was his first ever ride in a car, and to say he had enjoyed it would be an understatement.
James's parents weren't appeased by their son's vague answers about life at Hogwarts.
"How have your marks been in Potions? We got you that nice new cauldron with the extra thick bottom, so you shouldn't be having any problems with it…"
"Yeah, the cauldron's great, Dad," said James in the same bored voice. Sirius had to hide a snigger, and James rewarded him with a cuff to the shoulder.
The car stopped in front of a house that was separated a bit from the rest of the houses on the street. Sirius felt his jaw drop at the sight of James's house. It wasn't that it was the biggest house he had ever seen, but, even in the snow, the gardens seemed warm and inviting and the lights glittered welcomingly in the windows.
"We're here!" James shouted, and before his parents could ask him any more questions, he sprang out of the car and ran toward the front door. Sirius followed, only somewhat regretful to have to exit the car, but found himself too enthralled by the massive brick house to run with James.
"What do you think, Sirius?" Mr. Potter asked as he, too, emerged from the car. Sirius noticed how his voice had gone back to the formal tone that he had abandoned when speaking to his son, but supposed that must be normal.
"It's great," said Sirius honestly. He didn't think he had ever been so nervous to impress a grown-up before. "Thank you again for having me stay."
"Well James would never have forgiven us if we had let you sit alone in the castle for Christmas!" Mrs. Potter said as they walked up the shoveled walkway to the front door that James had left hanging wide open.
If the outside had impressed Sirius, it was nothing compared to the way he felt when he walked in the front door and into a massive, warm foyer brightly lit with glittering fairy lights. On his right, the hall opened into a sprawling sitting room with pristine, vaulted ceilings, and in front of him sat an ornate marble staircase with bannisters wrapped in holly. He barely had time to gape at his surroundings when he felt a tugging at the bottom of his cloak.
"Can Ant take sir's cloak for him?" asked a squeaky little voice from somewhere around Sirius's waist. Sirius looked down at the tiny little elf in surprise. Sure, he had seen plenty of house elves before – his own house was inhabited by a bitter old elf named Kreacher – but Kreacher wasn't nearly as small as Ant, nor did he ever speak in such a cheerful little voice.
"Erm, yes," said Sirius, caught off-guard. "Thanks very much."
James, who had apparently already had time to not only shed his cloak but to acquire a handful of sugar biscuits from somewhere, stood at the bottom of the immense staircase, bouncing anxiously on the balls of his feet.
"That's Ant, Sirius," he introduced unnecessarily. "And that's Ant's mum Flora."
Sirius turned to find a slightly sturdier-looking house elf bowing low to him. She was holding a large plate of sugar biscuits, which at least explained where James had found them.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, sir," said Flora. "We is always happy to meet Master James's friends. Would you care for a biscuit, sir?"
Sirius accepted the offer and smiled at the elf. "Thanks!"
"All right, come on, come on," James whined. "Let me go show you my room, Sirius! And then maybe we can go for a fly. It's stopped snowing, at least."
But James and Sirius had only bounded their way up half of the staircase when Mrs. Potter's voice rang out.
"Don't run in the house, James, and let us know before you go outside so that Flora can go with you, and make sure to put on a hat so that your ears don't get cold…"
"Okay, Mum, okay!"
But they had only taken a few more steps when Mrs. Potter's voice stopped them once again.
"And don't think we're not going to sit down and talk about all of the owls we've received from Professor McGonagall…"
Sirius glanced back down the stairs to where James's parents were standing, and his stomach lurched guiltily when he realized that Mr. Potter was staring at him with a rather wary look on his face, almost as if trying to read him like a book. Sirius gulped and continued to follow James up the stairs, trying to push away the sudden notion that he was at all unwelcome in the Potter household.
The week before Christmas passed in a blur for Sirius, who had never experienced a family like the Potters before. Mr. and Mrs. Potter doted on their only son to the extent where Sirius had on more than one occasion excused himself from the room so as to not bust open with laughter at the embarrassed looks on James's face. On the third day at the Potters', Mrs. Potter had asked James whether or not he had continued having any of his recurring Horklump nightmares, and reassured him that if he did, he was more than welcome to come sleep in his parents' bed again.
James didn't look Sirius in the eye for the rest of the night.
Sirius liked the Potter house immensely. He and James passed uncountable hours on the makeshift Quidditch pitch, which was nestled into the grove behind the back garden. James's parents insisted they be supervised at all times by either Flora or Ant, who didn't allow them to fly above the tree line. Sirius had to admit that he wasn't the natural flyer that James was, but he loved the way it felt when he and James would have contests on who could perform the best dive and his heart would jump into his throat as he rocketed toward the ground.
When they weren't flying, the boys would spend their time hidden in James's room practicing dueling, or else walking around the village that was situated at the top of the hill, laughing at the flustered Christmas shoppers and making guesses as to what the purpose of each Muggle contraption was. James won two Sickles off of Sirius one day by correctly identifying the purpose of a fire hydrant. Sirius hadn't gotten around to paying him, though, convinced that James was on the receiving end of insider information.
And through all of the fun that Sirius was having with James, he couldn't help but notice the forced smiles that Mr. and Mrs. Potter gave him or the way that the questions they asked him seemed more like interrogations than pleasant conversation. He had thought for a while that any chill that emanated from them was based on his part in all of James's troublemaking, but he neglected that reasoning when James reported back one day that his "lecture" with his parents had consisted of his father telling him to at least try to behave.
But Sirius was used to adults looking at him with suspicion in their eyes, and although the Potters' reactions to him caused him pangs of guilt and confusion, he still had a great time exploring and laughing with James.
Christmas Eve saw a heavy snowfall that caused Mrs. Potter to insist that the boys stay inside the house all day, so in their boredom, they went up to the attic to try and find some more useful gems like the precious hints about the secret passageways that James had discovered before school had started. Unfortunately they weren't as lucky this time, and by the time they emerged from the drafty attic, they were covered in dust and empty handed. They had spent over an hour sifting through more old letters from James's parents, but with the exception of a few mushy, groan inducing sentiments, had found nothing of note in any of them. Other than that, all they had found were some old newspapers the Potters had saved, some chests of ancient family heirlooms, and a few withered photo albums. They whiled away most of the afternoon playing wizard's chess and discovering their mutual competitive natures; the "best two out of three" rule quickly turned into "three out of five" and then "five out of seven" and so forth until finally they were forced to abandon their tournament to wash up for dinner.
The Christmas Eve feast was the best that Sirius had tasted yet at the Potters'. Flora and Ant had worked all day to prepare the annual Christmas spread and it had paid off. By the time the pudding bowls were cleared away, Sirius was so full he could barely move, and he spent a good hour or so lying peacefully on his bed in the guest room he was staying in. Despite the comfort of his bed, it was still early, and it was Christmas Eve, so he figured he should probably be sociable. With a groan, he rolled off of the bed and made his way out of the bedroom and onto the landing. He could hear the Potter family chatting in the sitting room as he descended the sweeping staircase, but as soon as he reached the bottom step, he heard his name thrown out by Mr. Potter and paused.
"…when Sirius isn't around."
Sirius hesitated. Mr. Potter's voice sounded serious, and he guessed that this family conversation wasn't one meant to be overheard. On the other hand, he was quite curious to find out what they had to talk about when he wasn't around. He stepped back so that he was completely hidden on the stairs and listened to James question his father.
"Why can't Sirius be here?"
"It's not that he can't, per se," said Mr. Potter, "it's just that I think this is better if it stays in the family."
Sirius took a chance and peered around the corner into the sitting room. James was looking at his father with a rather put-out expression on his face. His mother immediately reached over to stroke his head, but James pushed her arm away.
"James dear, just wait and see what your father has for you."
"You have something for me?
"Yes, and I promise it will be worth it."
James looked more appeased. He looked up at his father with curious eyes.
"What is it?"
From somewhere out of Sirius's limited view, Mr. Potter picked up a small, wrapped package and handed it to James.
"Wait," he ordered, as James made to tear into the package. "Before you open it, let me tell you about it. This was passed down to me from my father, who got it from his father. It's been in our family for many, many generations."
"This was Grandpa's?"
"Yes, it was, long ago. Not only is it valuable, James, it's useful. And your mother and I think that you're old enough now to use it to your advantage, and to not use it for trouble."
"Can I open it now?"
Mr. Potter had barely inclined his head into a nod when James ripped into the packaging with fervor. Sirius craned his neck a bit to see what fell out of the wrapping, but his view was blocked by Mrs. Potter. He heard James's gasp.
"Is this – is this what I think it is?"
"It's an Invisibility Cloak."
Sirius felt his jaw drop.
"For me? Really?" Excitement had made James's voice much higher than usual.
"If you're careful with it," said Mrs. Potter.
"I'll be careful with it, I promise!"
"And always remember that not only is it great fun, but that it can also be used for protection, if the situation ever arose and you needed it."
Mrs. Potter shifted toward her husband. "Not now, Fleamont…"
"Why would I need it for protection?" asked James.
"You wouldn't, darling. Your father is just being silly."
Mr. Potter looked exasperatedly at his wife, but seemed to deflate a bit.
"Don't worry about it, James. I was saying just in case is all."
James, though, did not seem to be listening too closely, as his head now appeared to be floating in midair and his eyes were searching wonderingly down at the air beneath him.
"This is so cool! I've got to go show Sirius!"
Sirius backed up flat against the wall and out of view, but thankfully, Mr. Potter must have stopped James from bounding out of the room.
"I want you to wait and think a bit, James, before telling anyone about this."
"What? Why? Sirius will think it's brilliant!"
"We know he'd like it, James," said Mrs. Potter. "But that's not the point."
Sirius swallowed hard and considered running back up the stairs and into his bedroom, but his feet felt like they were suddenly filled with cement and Mr. Potter was talking again.
"We know you've become close with Sirius during the term, and we're happy that you've made friends, but –"
"But what? What's wrong?"
James pulled off the cloak, frowning up at his father. His mother went to stroke his hair again, but he danced out of her reach.
"We just wonder whether Sirius is a good friend for you. His family is notorious for dark wizards, James, and it's bound to have rubbed off on him. I don't know how close you should get to Sirius Black."
There was a deafening silence in the sitting room. Sirius felt as though his heart were somewhere around his navel. Finally, James spoke.
"Sirius is my best friend, Dad. He's not a 'dark wizard!'"
"Yes, but all the same –"
"He's not like his family! He's in Gryffindor even though his mum told him he had to switch to Slytherin. His cousins and everyone, they hate him for it! Why do you think he couldn't go home for Christmas? He's not like them. He's not!"
Sirius had heard enough. As quietly as he could, he rushed back up the stairs into the guest room, closing the door tightly behind him and suddenly feeling completely empty, despite the massive amounts of food he had consumed earlier that evening. It should have been obvious, he thought. He had heard his parents talk about the Potters before with suspicion and skepticism in their voices, if not the same derision they used when speaking about Dumbledore. The Potters were an upstanding, classy, powerful family. Why would they approve of his own family? Why would they approve of him?
But didn't they know that he couldn't help it? That he had never asked to be a Black? That he never really wanted to be a Slytherin and didn't care about the purity of blood? How could he prove it to them, to all of them? Anger and desperation that Sirius had rarely known took up residence inside of him. He had, for a few fleeting days, thought himself welcome in the Potters' household. But he wasn't welcome there, just like he wasn't welcome in his own home. He should have stayed at Hogwarts after all. Alone.
He stumbled toward the bed. Desperate for some sort of physical release, his fists found the pillow and he started punching it as hard as he could. He knew it was stupid and that punching a pillow couldn't possibly make his last name disappear, but every time he thought about stopping he would hear Mr. Potter's words echoing in his head. "His family is notorious for dark wizards…it's bound to have rubbed off on him…I don't know how close you should get to Sirius Black." He started picturing the face of his mother and his father on the pillow, hearing the words of the Howler that had been sent to him when he was sorted, seeing Marshall Avery's sneers and the blood from that night in April, hearing the hisses of the other Slytherins and the whispers and seeing the funny looks and evil glares and he couldn't stop punching.
There was a knocking sound, and it took Sirius several seconds to realize it was coming from the bedroom door. He turned, trying desperately to wipe the sweat from his forehead and to straighten the disheveled bed as best he could.
"Yeah?" he answered.
James walked in, just as Sirius knew he would, and just as Sirius had dreaded. The excitement on his face fell when he caught sight of Sirius.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Sirius mumbled, refusing to look James in the eye.
James just stared at him for a moment before walking fully into the room and shutting the door behind him.
"You'll never believe what my dad gave me for Christmas."
Sirius looked up now, wondering if he had heard correctly. Hadn't he just witnessed Mr. Potter telling James point blank not to let Sirius know about the cloak?
"What?" he asked, his voice cracking a bit.
From behind his back, James revealed a shimmering piece of silver fabric that flowed over his hands like liquid. "It's an Invisibility Cloak!" he said, ecstasy shining on his face. "Look!"
Sirius watched in awe as his friend threw the cloak over himself and completely disappeared from view. He didn't know if it was a result of watching James vanish into thin air or if he was still reeling from the fact that James was showing him the cloak at all, but his heart was beating unusually fast and he was having a hard time getting his mouth working. James's head appeared again, floating right where he had been standing before.
"Wanna try?"
As Sirius threw the cloak over his own head, an odd sense of relief flooded him, and he knew at once it was because of the fact that James had never considered keeping the cloak a secret from him, and that James cared less about Sirius's last name than he himself did. Whatever his parents had told him had not mattered to James in the least. Sirius Black was James Potter's best friend, and nothing anyone said could change that.
Sirius slid the cloak off of his head and the two boys shared identical grins. "Just think of what we can do with this!" Sirius whispered.
James's eyes misted over a bit at the thought. "Think of what we can do to Snivellus with this!"
And as they met each other's glance once more, the two boys collapsed onto the bed in a fit of laughter.
Christmas morning dawned a bit too early for Sirius's liking when James burst into his room before the sun had even completely risen and started jumping on his bed. Sirius groaned and tried to shut out James's excited singing by putting the pillow over his head, but James countered by pulling all of the covers off of the bed. Finally, Sirius was persuaded to go down to the sitting room and open presents with the Potter family.
"C'mon!" James yelled, running down the steps as fast as he could. "It's Christmas and I know I got those new Wimbourne Wasps robes this year!"
Sirius just yawned and followed his friend into the sitting room, where an enormous pile of presents awaited James. James let out an excited sort of yelp and had already torn through half of his pile when his parents walked in.
"Happy Christmas boys!" Mrs. Potter said, reaching over to kiss James's head.
"Happy Christmas Mum!" James replied, so enthralled by his presents that he did not even attempt to wriggle out of his mother's grasp.
"Happy Christmas," Sirius said, hoping that he sounded normal despite the funny feeling in his throat. The last thing he wanted was for anyone to know that he had overheard their conversation the night before.
"C'mon, Sirius," James said from somewhere underneath his bright yellow Wasps robes. "Your pile's over there!"
Sirius turned and saw a small pile of parcels stacked behind James's heap. He grinned and made his way over to them and started going through his gifts. Remus had sent him a book of jinxes that were much tamer than in the one James had found in the attic. Peter had sent him a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had given him a navy jumper, which Sirius thought was quite nice of them and thanked them graciously for it. James had given him a set of Dr. Filibuster's fireworks that Sirius tried to keep out of sight of the disapproving eyes of James's parents. There was another, flat-shaped package from James, and Sirius looked at him curiously.
"You got me two?"
James grinned. "I couldn't resist."
Sirius tore into the wrapping to find another book, this one glossy and with pictures that, strangely, did not seem to be moving at all. He flipped it open to discover page after page of pictures and descriptions of different kinds of Muggle cars.
"It's…it's a Muggle book! You got me a Muggle book about motorcars?"
James rolled his eyes, but the grin betrayed his lack of annoyance. "I take it you like it then?"
Sirius let out a gleeful laugh and flipped through more of the glossy pages. "Oh, it's brilliant, just blood– sorry Mrs. Potter – just brilliant!"
"You're mental, you know that?"
Sirius ignored him and sat back to read through his new book as James continued to sift through his own presents. About the time that James had gotten to the bottom of his pile, there was a sharp tapping on the window and all four of them looked up to see a pitch black owl that Sirius recognized only too well sitting outside the window.
"Well I wonder whose owl that is?" said Mrs. Potter as her husband jumped up to let the bird in.
Sirius gulped and set his new book aside. The Black family owl, Zek, flew straight to him and held out his leg, to which a letter was attached. Sirius took the letter with trembling hands and Zek immediately flew back out the window, clearly under no instruction to wait for a reply. Trying to keep himself calm, he broke the wax seal and unfolded the parchment to find a brief note in his father's handwriting.
Sirius -
As you are aware, we have suffered unthinkable shame and disappointment as a result of your house placement, and it seems, inconceivably, that you have not requested to be re-sorted as we instructed. I advise you to remain at Hogwarts for the Easter holiday as well, if you know what is good for you. If you choose to be re-sorted, perhaps you will be permitted to return to Grimmauld Place.
Regards,
Orion Black
Sirius stared down at the parchment in his hands for several moments before mentally kicking himself for becoming so worked up by his parents. There was no point to the note other than to remind him how much he had ashamed them. The passive vindictiveness was much more his mother's style than his father's, and Sirius could just picture her ordering him to send it. It was the first time, Sirius realized, that his father had ever written him anything at all.
He didn't know whether to laugh or hit something again, and the guest room pillow was too far away at the moment.
"What is it?" James asked bluntly.
Sirius shrugged and tried his best to play it off. All three of the Potters were staring at him curiously.
"Just a stupid letter from my dad."
Avoiding eye contact with the three of them was impossible and he found himself staring at James's mother, who was looking back at him with an expression he had not seen her use yet. He broke her gaze and cleared his throat, starting to feel immensely uncomfortable and as if he were sitting in a bright spotlight.
"I need to use the loo, excuse me," he muttered, crumpling his father's note in his hand and practically running from the room and up the stairs. On the upstairs landing, he stopped and leaned his back against the wall, trying to slow his heartbeat and quell the infuriating prickling at the back of his eyes, though it didn't seem to be working very well.
"Sirius?"
Sirius spun around to find Mrs. Potter standing at the top of the stairs, looking at him with that same curious expression. Before he could say or do anything though, she had crossed the landing and had enveloped him in her arms. And even though his face felt like it was on fire from embarrassment, even as he fought to swallow the mortifying lump that sat painfully in his throat, it occurred to Sirius that he couldn't remember the last time that anyone had hugged him.