"Abercrombie, Euan."
A terrified looking boy stumbled forward and put the hat on his head; it was only prevented from falling right down to his shoulders by his very prominent ears. The hat considered for a moment, then the rip near the brim opened again and shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!"
We clapped loudly with the rest of Gryffindor House as Euan Abercrombie staggered to our table and sat down, looking as though he would like very much to sink through the floor and never be looked at again. For a Gryffindor, I thought, he didn't look brave at all! But then again, we do need roughly equal numbers in each house, so I suppose all of them will have a few duds here and there.
Slowly the long line of first years thinned; Finally, "Zeller, Rose" was sorted into Hufflepuff, and Professor McGonagall picked up the hat and stool and marched them away as Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet. I saw Matilda Wormwood comforting a scared looking Ravenclaw, and she appeared to be calming down at her words. I wondered if the Order had spoken to Matilda at all about potentially utilising her superblood power. She was still only a third year of course, but one unlike any other. I decided to try and ask Professor McGonagall next time I saw her. Despite this only being Matilda's second year physically at Hogwarts, she was in the third year because she had sped through the first 2 years of work in only one, thanks to her superblood status making her abnormally talented.
Dumbledore stood up. "To our newcomers," he said in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips, "welcome! To our old hands — welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"
There was an appreciative laugh and an outbreak of applause as Dumbledore sat down neatly and threw his long beard over his shoulder so as to keep it out of the way of his plate — for food had appeared out of nowhere, so that the five long tables were groaning under joints and pies and dishes of vegetables, bread, sauces, and flagons of pumpkin juice.
"Excellent," said Ron, with a kind of groan of longing, and he seized the nearest plate of chops and began piling them onto his plate, watched wistfully by Nearly Headless Nick.
"What were you saying before the Sorting?" Hermione asked the ghost. "About the hat giving warnings?"
"Oh yes," said Nick, who seemed glad of a reason to turn away from Ron, who was now eating roast potatoes with almost indecent enthusiasm. "Yes, I have heard the hat give several warnings before, always at times when it detects periods of great danger for the school. And always, of course, its advice is the same: Stand together, be strong from within."
"Ow kunnit nofe skusin danger ifzat?" said Ron. His mouth was so full I thought it was quite an achievement for him to make any noise at all.
"I beg your pardon?" said Nearly Headless Nick politely, while Hermione looked revolted.
Ron gave an enormous swallow and said, "How can it know if the school's in danger if it's a hat?"
"I have no idea," said Nearly Headless Nick.
"Of course, it lives in Dumbledore's office, so I daresay it picks things up there."
"And it wants all the Houses to be friends?" said Harry, looking over at the Slytherin table, where Draco Malfoy was holding court. "Fat chance"
"Anyone who thinks I'm going to be friendly with Lillian Avery can shove it up their arse!" I said
"Well, now, you shouldn't take that attitude," said Nick reprovingly. "Peaceful cooperation, that's the key. We ghosts, though we belong to separate Houses, maintain links of friendship. In spite of the competitiveness between Gryffindor and Slytherin, I would never dream of seeking an argument with the Bloody Baron."
"Only because you're terrified of him," said Ron.
Nearly Headless Nick looked highly affronted. "Terrified? I hope I, Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, have never been guilty of cowardice in my life! The noble blood that runs in my veins —"
"What blood?" asked Ron. "Surely you haven't still got — ?
"It's a figure of speech!" said Nearly Headless Nick, now so annoyed his head was trembling ominously on his partially severed neck, and I facepalmed at Ron's stupidity.
"I assume I am still allowed to enjoy the use of whichever words I like, even if the pleasures of eating and drinking are denied me! But I am quite used to students poking fun at my death, I assure you!"
"Nick, he wasn't really laughing at you!" said Hermione, throwing a furious look at Ron.
Unfortunately, Ron's mouth was packed to exploding point again and all he could manage was "node iddum eentup sechew," which Nick did not seem to think constituted an adequate apology. Rising into the air, he straightened his feathered hat and swept away from them to the other end of the table, coming to rest between the Creevey brothers, Colin and Dennis.
"Well done, Ron," snapped Hermione
"Yeah mate, you really need to learn to think before you speak" added Demelza
"What?" said Ron indignantly, having managed, finally, to swallow his food. "I'm not allowed to ask a simple question?"
"Not only is it obvious what Nick meant, asking something like that is very offensive to a ghost" said Andrew
"Oh forget it," said Hermione, and the pair of them spent the rest of the meal in huffy silence. We were too used to their bickering to bother trying to reconcile them; it was a strange kind of relationship they had. Despite being a couple, they spent a lot of time sniping at each other. I guessed that there had to be some sexual tension in there somewhere. They'd probably borrow the invisibility cloak for an Astronomy Tower visit tonight.
When all the students had finished eating and the noise level in the hall was starting to creep upward again, Dumbledore got to his feet once more. Talking ceased immediately as all turned to face the headmaster.
"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," he said. "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students — and a few of our older students ought to know by now too." (Harry, Ron, and Hermione exchanged smirks.) "Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time ("There's no way in hell that's true" muttered Amy") to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.
"We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." There was a round of polite but fairly unenthusiastic applause during which we exchanged slightly panicked looks; Dumbledore had not said for how long Grubbly-Plank would be teaching.
Dumbledore continued, "Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the —" He broke off, looking inquiringly at Professor Umbridge. As she was not much taller standing than sitting, there was a moment when nobody understood why Dumbledore had stopped talking, but then Professor Umbridge said, "Hem, hem," and it became clear that she had got to her feet and was intending to make a speech.