"So let me get this straight" Amy was laughing as we all discussed the previous nights events. "Your brother (she pointed at Ron and I) thinks that Umbridge is, what did he say "a delightful woman-"

"Truly delightful" Ron cut in

"Ah of course, truly delightful, as opposed to falsely delightful, important we don't misconstrue anything here" Amy continued, playing along to Ron's pretend correction "so, he called her a truly delightful woman, and then, you find out that Fudge thinks Dumbledore's building an army of young wizards?"

"Uhhh, yeah pretty much"

"That's more ridiculous than everything Skeeter and Luna have ever said combined" I said

"Fudge must know that Dumbledore could easily take over the Ministry by himself if he ever wanted to right?" said Harry "He could easily go in there and force all those at the top to transition him power secretly, no one there could possibly refuse, he's too powerful by himself. He wouldn't need an army."

"I'm sure he does know that mate" said Demelza "but it's what he'd rather believe than Voldemort being back. Pathetic and extremely cowardly, but in his mind, his only option"

The post then arrived, and the departing delivery owl had barely cleared the top of the milk jug when Hermione let out a huge gasp and flattened the newspaper to reveal a large photograph of Dolores Umbridge, smiling widely and blinking slowly at us from beneath the headline: MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR"

I clapped my hands over my eyes and let out a mock cry of pain "Ahh, get that thing away from my eyes, they burn!"

" 'High Inquisitor'?" said Harry darkly, his half-eaten bit of toast slipping from his fingers. "What does that mean?"

Hermione read aloud: "In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. " 'The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,' said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. 'He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve.'

This is not the first time in recent weeks Fudge has used new laws to effect improvements at the Wizarding school. As recently as August 30th Educational Decree Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person. " 'That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,' said Weasley last night. 'Dumbledore couldn't find anyone, so the Minister put in Umbridge and of course, she's been an immediate success —' "

"She's been a WHAT?" said the rest of us loudly.

"Wait, there's more," said Hermione grimly.

" '— an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-theground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts.'

"The only thing that's totally happened here is him losing it" I said "Percy has twelve O.W.L's, several N.E.W.T's, how can he call her teaching a revolution?"

"He must not know what her teaching actually is" said Demelza.

"It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Decree Twenty-three, which creates the new position of 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor.' " 'This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the "falling standards" at Hogwarts,' said Weasley. 'The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post, and we are delighted to say that she has accepted.'

"The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts. " 'I feel much easier in my mind now that I know that Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,' said Mr. Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. 'Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and will be glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.'

"Among those 'eccentric decisions' are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of werewolf Remus Lupin, half giant Rubeus Hagrid, and delusional ex-Auror 'Mad-Eye' Moody. "Rumors abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts. "

'I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step toward ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose confidence,' said a Ministry insider last night. "Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts. "

'Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office,' said Madam Marchbanks. 'This is a further disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.' (For a full account of Madam Marchbanks' alleged links to subversive goblin groups, turn to page 17).

Hermione finished reading and looked across the table at us.

"So now we know how we ended up with Umbridge! Fudge passed this 'Educational Decree' and forced her on us!

"Thought it had to be something like that" said Demelza

"And now he's given her the power to inspect other teachers!" Hermione was breathing fast and her eyes were very bright. "I can't believe this. It's outrageous. . . ."

"I know it is," said Harry

But a grin was unfurling on Ron's face, as well as Andrew's, who had been listening in on our conversation.

"What?" the rest of us said together, staring at them.

"Oh, I can't wait to see McGonagall inspected," said Ron happily. "Umbridge won't know what's hit her."

"My thoughts exactly" added Andrew. "Every cloud, you know..."

"Well, come on," said Hermione, jumping up, "we'd better get going, Harry, Ron, if she's inspecting Binns's class we don't want to be late. . . ."