A/N: Quick warning - There's some discussion on rather mature topics at one point in this chapter. Nothing explicit, but if you're uncomfortable with 13/14 year olds talking about sex, this is not the chapter for you.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all of its characters are owned by J.K. Rowling. I own nothing.

Chapter 25 - 3.4 or "It's Not as if I Fancy Evans"

He was sitting once more in the dazzling forest, the bird chorus resounding in his ears, the warm beams of sunlight welcome on his back, his human self laughing and splashing in the lake in front of him…

Sirius was right – the house elves had really outdone themselves with that trifle at dinner earlier. He could almost still taste the homemade raspberry jam on his tongue. Maybe when they were finished here, they could sneak down to the kitchens, see if Queenie had saved any of the leftovers for them to take back to Gryffindor Tower…

Focus, James told himself, wrenching his thoughts back to the forest.

There were his parents lying across the lakeshore, his mother lying with her head on his father's stomach, and they looked so blissful, so utterly content, and he watched them for a while, absorbing the peace that was emanating from them…

He really needed to get back on his broom to perfect some of those dodges he had been working on over the summer. Fiona had hinted at practice the previous night that he may take lead Chaser in the first match if they could get a handle on the defensive formations. Later in the week, he should hang back after practice and try them out…

Bugger. Focus! He scolded himself again and shifted his position slightly on the squishy pillow, aligning his back more firmly against the fourth-floor passageway wall. This was no good. He cracked open an eye to see how his friends were faring. Remus was lying on his stomach in the corner, deeply engrossed in a book that was open on the floor directly under his nose. Sirius sat across from James, eyes shut, a frustrated crease across his brow. Peter was sitting next to Sirius, cross-legged with his hands on his knees and his eyes closed gently, as if he had just drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

He was floating about six inches off the ground.

"Peter!" James shouted, before he could stop himself. Remus sat up immediately and Sirius's eyes snapped open at once.

"Holy shit," Sirius muttered. Peter had not reacted to James's shout whatsoever and still remained hovering eerily off the ground, as if being levitated in some sort of trance.

"Do you think he's done it then?" James whispered as they all moved closer to Peter, eyeing him warily. "Has he connected?"

Remus hurried to his bag and began digging through it. He pulled out the dog-eared copy of Animated Animagi as James and Sirius remained frozen, kneeling in front of Peter, their mouths agape.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," murmured Remus, pointing his wand at the book and then flipping it open, swiping through the pages until he found the correct one.

"What does it say?" Sirius asked after Remus had scanned over it, his eyes flashing back and forth at lightning speed.

"When a true connection is reached, the Connector will become fully entranced within the Form-state and, thus, will disconnect entirely from the physical world."

"Well," said James, gazing in awe at the seemingly invisible barrier that separated Peter's body from the ground, "he's not touching the floor. Do you think that's what it means?"

"Must be," said Remus, frowning down at the pages of the book. "What else would be making this happen?"

They all stared at their friend for a minute or two in silence before any of them spoke again.

"Er, does the book mention how long he's going to be like this for?" James asked.

But Remus didn't have time to answer. The next second, Peter's eyes snapped open and he fell to the ground with a thump, a loud gasp issuing from his mouth. The other three converged on him at once.

"Peter!"

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"Did you do it? Did you connect?"

"Whoa," Peter said, his breath coming heavy. "Whoa."

They all stared at him intently, waiting for him to say more. He seemed to be in shock – he was blinking very fast and breathing in great heaves. It took him several moments to regain his bearings, and he looked into each one of their astonished faces before speaking, his eyes wide, his voice a triumphant waver.

"I did it! I did it!"

"What happened?" urged James. "What was it like?"

Peter looked beside himself with nervous energy; indeed, he looked happier than James had ever seen him. "It was like all the other times when I've come close. I focused in really hard on that sense of peace, like I told you before…on that moment after I had taken the potion when I finally felt…calm. And then I felt the whoosh in my stomach, but this time, it didn't scare me or distract me. I kind of leaned into the feeling. And then it was like I was back there, in my trance or whatever it was. And everything felt…light." He paused and beamed up at his friends. "I did it! I was the first one to do it!"

James stared at Peter as Remus continued questioning him, an odd sense of annoyance nagging at him. Out of the three of them, no one ever would have supposed that Peter would be more adept at this process than him or Sirius. He, James, was the best out of all of them at Transfiguration, shouldn't he have been the first one to take this vital step? But no…Transfiguration prowess played no part in this particular portion – in fact, magical skill really was not a factor at all here. Peter was simply the best at controlling his mind. How could James be annoyed at him for that? As his friend, he should be thrilled with Peter's accomplishment, should be looking to him for inspiration, for guidance, even. He would not allow his frustration with his own stinted progress to mar this for Peter.

"That's brilliant, Peter," said James, stifling any negative emotions and smiling genuinely at his friend. "You'll have to give Sirius and me some pointers before we have another go."

Peter beamed at the two of them. James chanced a glance at Sirius, who was wearing a very forced smile, as if his jaw were glued shut and he was trying to rend it apart.

"Well," said Remus, who also seemed to notice Sirius's expression and wanted to diffuse a potential situation, "that's probably enough for one night. Let's get out of here. We need to get back and do our actual Transfiguration homework anyway."

Sirius did not speak for the entire trek back to the common room, and when James, Peter, and Remus sat down at their usual table in the corner and began pulling out their textbooks and parchment, Sirius did not sit down with them.

"I'm going to bed," he muttered.

"But what about your essay?" Remus asked. "It's due tomorrow!"

Sirius just shrugged. "I'll scratch it down during break. I'm not in the mood tonight."

And with that, he disappeared up the boys' staircase. James stared after him for a moment before making up his mind, slamming his book shut, and following behind him. When he entered the dormitory moments later, Sirius was bent over, digging through his trunk.

"Sirius," James said, sitting down on Sirius's bed and frowning at the top of his head, which was the only part of him that James could see at the moment, "I know you're angry, but…"

"I'm not angry," Sirius snapped, looking up at him. Then he stood up straight and kicked his trunk. Hard.

James stared at him for a second in shock and then snorted in laughter. "Yes, clearly. You're just bursting with merriment at the moment. Not angry at all."

"What's Peter got that I don't? Why can he figure this out but you and I can't?"

Despite the bitter tone, James was at least relieved to note that Sirius wasn't yelling, for once.

"The ability to control his temper?" he suggested lightly.

Sirius did not look amused. Sighing loudly, he walked around the bed and sat down next to James.

"I mean, did you ever expect this? That Peter would be able to do it before us?"

"It's not like Peter's transforming, though. This is just one part of it. You know he's not going to be able to do all those spells and everything that comes next without us."

Sirius nodded and then flopped back on the bed, his legs hanging off the side next to where James sat. "It's just taking so bloody long. Every month that goes by when Remus has got to go off on his own…"

"I know," said James, because he did know. He knew exactly how Sirius felt every month when Remus would make the long walk to the Hogsmeade house with only Madam Pomfrey by his side, knowing that there would be no friends waiting to help him through the night.

"What if we can't do it?" Sirius said in a tone that James had never heard him use before, a tone laced with uncertainty and self-doubt. It fell unfamiliar on his ears, like a well-known song played out of tune.

"We can," James said, swallowing hard. And then, more resolutely, he added, "We will. Even if it takes years…it's not like Remus's condition is going away. Even if we don't manage it until we're thirty, then we'll be able to help him then."

They sat in silence for a minute, each lost in his own thoughts, Sirius staring up at the canopy above them and James looking across the room at nothing in particular.

Suddenly, Sirius started laughing.

"What's so funny?" James asked, turning to look at where his friend was lying, still staring up into the canopy but now with a dark amusement in his eyes.

"I was just imagining Peter transforming without us…turning into a ferret or something and not being able to turn back."

"You're such a bastard," James said, twisting so he could kick Sirius's leg, but laughing despite himself.

"Or a hamster. What if Peter's a hamster?" Sirius laughed. "What if you and I are a lion and a tiger or something and Peter is a hamster?"

James felt guilty for finding it so funny, but the two of them sniggered heartily, and there was nothing that felt as right or as healing as the pair of them laughing together.

"We need to mess with Snivelly," said James, after they had both settled down. "Merlin, it's been too long, he may get a complex, think we've forgotten him."

"Agreed," said Sirius, swinging around so that his head was now on his pillow and his feet were in James's lap. "And for the love of Merlin, we need to get into the girls' dormitory."

James pushed Sirius's feet off of him, so that the latter hung awkwardly off the bed, looking ready to slide off at any moment. "Tomorrow during dinner. And we can start looking into Disillusionment Charms tomorrow too, for that idea that we talked about a few weeks ago."

"Excellent," said Sirius, now swinging his feet back up onto the mattress and giving James a hard shove with them, so that James went flying off the bed and landed in a heap on the floor. James straightened his glasses, frowned up at Sirius who was now spread-eagle on the bed, gave a loud war cry, and lunged at his friend. A muffled "oomph" issued from Sirius when James hit him, and the pair rolled off the bed and onto the stone floor, where they proceeded to thrash around and wrestle with abandon, each trying to pin the other underneath him. As Sirius had the distinct size advantage – and despite the edge James held in the feistiness category – it did not take long before James found himself lying on his back with Sirius sitting on his chest.

"Ugh, geroff me you prat," James said, trying in vain to throw Sirius off of him.

"Say the magic words," said Sirius, smirking down at his friend, slightly out of breath from their wrestling match.

"You need to cut back on the pudding at dinner. I think you're crushing my lung."

"Those aren't the magic words. The magic words are, 'I solemnly swear…that Sirius Black is the most cleverest and sexiest wizard to ever step through the Hogwarts doors and I am inferior to him in every way.'"

James tried to snort, but in his current state, it came out as more of a wheezy cough. Hearing a noise from somewhere on his left, he looked over to see Remus standing in the doorway of the dormitory, surveying the scene with a look of cautious amusement on his face.

"I don't even want to know," Remus said, shaking his head and averting his gaze as he went to search through a pile of books on top of his trunk.

"Moony!" James gasped. "Can I get a hand here or what?"

"Say it, Potter," jeered Sirius, bobbing up and down a bit so that James was pushed more painfully into the stone floor. "Say the magic words."

"I solemnly swear…that Sirius Black…is the biggest bloody tosser in the school and I can't believe I ever allow myself to be seen with the smug prick in public."

Sirius let out a breath of a laugh and James took the opportunity to push him off with an almighty heave, rolling away from him and landing a kick somewhere in Sirius's gut. They both sat on the floor – James panting in exaggerated gasps and Sirius rubbing his stomach with a scowl.

"I thought you were going to bed?" Remus said, evidently unable to bite his tongue and looking at the pair of them as if mildly entertained.

"I was. But then James tackled me and the idiot never remembers that I kick his arse every time, so I had to remind him."

"Thanks for the help, by the way, Remus," James said, standing up and slowly approaching Remus, a familiar devilish glint in his eye. "My rib could have snapped and punctured my lung and I could have been dying over there right before your eyes and you were too busy looking for your book to help a mate out."

Remus edged backward toward the door when he noticed Sirius moving toward him as well. "I'm no fool. I'm not getting between the two of you…don't…oh blimey, OI!"

James and Sirius had tackled him at the same time and the three of them hit the floor in a flailing pile of limbs and laughter.

The following night was no less frustrating.

They had tried everything. Covered in the Invisibility Cloak while the rest of the Gryffindors were at dinner, James and Sirius had tried everything they could think of to get up the girls' staircase. They had tried skipping every other stair, skipping every third stair, shimmying up the side with their faces pressed against the stone wall. They had tried levitating themselves. They had brought out their wands and poked at random stairs or stones, muttering various passwords that they had found useful in their explorations of other parts of the castle, to no avail. Every time they would get up to the fifth step, the entire staircase would turn into a giant stone slide, and their progress would be thwarted. They had even brought out James's Cleansweep and had attempted to fly up the passageway, but above the fifth step, the air solidified around them and chucked them back down again, where they landed in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, groaning and muttering obscenities.

And so, in a last ditch effort, they now found themselves sitting on James's broomstick together, hovering just outside of the girls' dormitory window and peering in longingly.

Sirius pointed his wand at the window, his other hand gripping the back of James's shirt rather tightly. "Alohomora!" Nothing. "Bombarda!" Still nothing. "Pateficium!" The window remained firmly in place. "Sod it."

"Any other ideas?" James asked, peering into the window with great interest.

Sirius frowned and tucked his wand back into his pocket. "Nothing that we're going to suss out sitting out here on a broomstick."

"Hey, I think that's Evans' bed," said James, pointing to the bed closest to the window they were hovering in front of. Sirius ducked his head for a closer look. It looked like the other beds in the room, though it was less tidily tucked in, and there was what appeared to be an old, well-loved, stuffed unicorn sitting near the pillow.

"What makes you think that?"

"There's a potion brewing underneath it, can you see? Who else would be mad enough to brew a potion under their bed?"

"Need I remind you of the times when we've brewed illegal potions underneath our beds?"

"Only once, and we were thick little firsties at the time, weren't we? Now we know there's loads better places to brew potions in the castle." James ducked his head even more and turned the broomstick slightly. "I wonder whose bed that one is?"

"The one with all the Arrows posters?"

"Eurgh, yeah. Which one of those girls supports the bloody Arrows?"

"Well it's not Evans and it's not Gin. She told me she doesn't even follow Quidditch."

"You would know," snorted James.

Sirius shrugged and pulled on the back of James's robes. "Take us back, will you? This isn't particularly cozy, out here like this…"

"Yeah, all right," James said, pulling on the broomstick handle and flying them back around the other side of the tower, toward their own dormitory window.

"Wait, hold up for a second," said Sirius, tugging at the back of James's robes as they neared the dormitory window so that James pulled up on the broomstick, slowing. "Look there."

Following the direction of Sirius's finger, James peered up at where a sizable ledge sat just above the illuminated boys' window.

He did not need to ask what Sirius was thinking. In all of their explorations of the castle, they had never considered exploring the castle walls from the outside, nor the roofs of any dormitories. "Let's check it out."

Guiding the broomstick with his fingertips, they glided vertically past the open, brightly lit window and landed gently on the hard stone. The ledge was sizable enough for them both to explore easily without fear of plummeting hundreds of feet to their deaths; indeed, it was a similar size to one of their four-poster beds, made of a solid slab of grey stone, and adorned with two simple gargoyles on either side, both of which turned their heads inward to look at the boys dubiously when they landed. They both inspected the space closely, and then Sirius sat down, dangled his legs off the front of the stone and gazed out over the castle grounds.

"Huh." He sounded perplexedly appeased, as if the discovery of this strange ledge had answered some unasked question that James had not been privy to.

James hung back, leaning against the tower wall, the Cleansweep warm in his hand. "I like it," he said to the back of Sirius's head, which nodded its agreement.

"Not a bad view either," said Sirius idly, and anyone with eyeballs would have agreed with him. The moon was a sliver in the inky twilight, but the lights from the castle windows illuminated the grounds in long, torch-lit flickers. The sun had just recently disappeared behind the mountains in the distance, which now glowed a deep purple in its absence. It was extremely peaceful and surprisingly quiet, their not-inadequate altitude helping to smother the usual sounds of the forest below.

"What do you reckon Evans is up to with that potion?" James asked after a moment. Lily Evans was clever and too cheeky for her own good, but she didn't strike him as the illicit-potion-making sort. James doubted she had been awarded a single detention since starting at Hogwarts.

"Search me. Probably extra credit for old Sluggy or something."

James, though, was not convinced. There were spare dungeons to be used for studying Potions – if this were something by-the-books, she would not have needed to brew it under her bed. He mused on this silently for a minute, part of him wondering why he cared enough to be curious.

"I'd say we're buggered, mate," said Sirius.

James glanced up at the back of his friend's head. "What?"

"About the staircase."

"Oh." James flipped his broomstick up and began pulling at a few stray twigs from the tail, frowning down at it in concentration as if trying to solve a particularly stubborn puzzle. "We've been trying to get around the enchantment…" he faded off, deep in thought.

"Yeah, so?"

"What if we need to figure out how to undo the enchantment, not get around it?"

Sirius turned to look at him in the almost darkness. "Maybe…it'll probably take loads of research though. We might need Moony's help for that one…"

"But you know he flat-out refused…"

"The useless lump…"

"We can convince him," said James. "Tell him we're reading up on these things for educational purposes, you know…"

They faded into silence once more, and it was only after the deep purple had darkened into a velvety black that James spoke again. "We should head in."

"What's the hurry?" asked Sirius, but he stood up from his perch nonetheless. James could only see his dark outline moving toward him.

"Well…I was thinking about starting on that Defense essay that's due next week…" There was a moment's pause before they both busted out laughing at the idea. "No, I was actually fancying a trip to the kitchens and then maybe working on that Disillusionment Charm for Snivelly."

And still sniggering at the ludicrous idea of working on an assignment that wasn't due for another week, the two of them flew back through the dormitory window, stowed the Cleansweep, and started toward the kitchens.

"Remind me again why you made Peter and me come here with the two of you?"

"Because Moony," came Sirius's disembodied voice from somewhere to the left of James, "it'd look awfully suspicious for James to be hanging round the library seemingly alone."

"Yes, suspicious and terrible for my reputation," added James.

Remus huffed and folded his arms over his chest, but said nothing. The four boys were grouped together in the stacks of the Hogwarts library, peering through the shelves at a table where Severus Snape and Lily Evans sat across from one another, their heads bowed as they scribbled on separate rolls of parchment, silent and diligent in their studies. It had taken almost an entire week, but James and Sirius had finally mastered the Disillusionment Charm – at least to the extent to which they would need it for their prank on Snape. Now, Sirius was hidden underneath the Invisibility Cloak and James could hear him bouncing on the balls of his feet, anxious to get started.

"Oh, you know, while we're down here," Remus began, as if suddenly distracted by the thousands of books surrounding them, "I need to look into a volume for Arithmancy…excuse me…" He wandered off, not meeting any of their gazes.

Sirius made an annoyed noise low in his throat and James knew he was rolling his eyes. "He's no fun."

"Well at least we have Peter here," whispered James, clapping Peter on the shoulder and turning back to appraise Snape and Lily once more.

"You should get a move on, though," said Peter. "Curfew's in a half hour…they'll be leaving soon."

"You ready, Sirius?"

"Ready as a crup in heat, let's go."

Grimacing at that mental image, James stepped around the shelf with Peter behind him and approached the study table. Neither Snape nor Lily seemed to even notice him until he had pulled the spare heavy wooden chair out from next to Lily and plopped down in it; as there were no other chairs at the table, Peter lurked awkwardly behind. Both of the table's occupants looked up at James in shock, but Snape's face turned into a snarl almost immediately and he bared his teeth slightly when he recognized who had joined them, his hand inching toward his wand. James ignored him.

"Potter," Lily said, surprise etched on her face. "What are you…"

"Hey Evans," James said, reaching over and sliding the parchment she had been writing on toward him so that he could read it. "Wha'cha working on?"

From the corner of his eye, James could see Snape's bag – which was lying on the ground next to its owner's chair – start to unzip very slowly. As both Snape and Lily were fixated on James, though, neither of them seemed to notice.

Lily reached out, stabbed her parchment with one forceful index finger, and slid it back away from James. "My Defense essay. What do you want?"

"Oh nothing," said James lightly, smirking at the fury on Snape's face. "Just felt like saying hello, didn't want to be rude, you know. That Defense essay's only supposed to be a foot long, though. Why do you have nearly an entire roll written?"

Lily's green eyes flickered up to Peter and then back to James, clearly confused as to what had prompted their presence at her table. "Some of us like to go above and beyond, Potter, not that you'd know anything about that."

James leaned back in the wooden chair and crossed his arms, grinning at her and doing his best not to look at Snape's bag, where he could see subtle movements taking place in his periphery. "Why would I need to go above and beyond in Defense? I was popping up Shields weeks ago…Romielle loves me."

"Yes," countered Lily, an annoyed look on her face. "I seem to recall you placing a Shield Charm around a Slytherin first year who was trying to get to the loo the other day…"

From behind them, Peter sniggered and Lily sent him a blistering glare that silenced him at once.

"I hope you don't think it was my fault the ickle firstie wet himself, Evans?"

"Flitwick certainly thought so. Didn't he give you a week's worth of detentions for that little stunt?"

"Ah, good old Filly…he's quick with the detention trigger, that one. It's one of his only flaws." James now turned to Snape, who had been watching the exchange incredulously, resentment growing more and more pronounced on his pale face. "Something bothering you, Snivellus?"

"What do you want, Potter?" he snarled, his voice low.

The bag beside Snape's chair was fully open now, and a few of the books inside of it were shifting seemingly of their own accord. James had to keep both Snape and Lily distracted.

"What do I want?" he echoed, his tone wistful and mocking. "What do I want? Hm, let's see…for the Wasps to win the league this year…for you to learn how to use shampoo, Snivelly…" Snape bristled and gripped his wand tightly, but James turned to look back at Lily. "…for Evans here to tell me what illegal potion she's been brewing under her bed."

Lily, who had seemingly been readying herself to stop a fight between the two wizards, gaped at him and James could tell that she was momentarily stunned by his knowledge of the potion.

"What are you talking about?"

"The potion that you've been brewing under your bed," James repeated, still determinedly averting his gaze from the bag on the ground. "Thick, purple-colored substance? Nice little pewter cauldron? Ring any bells? Now what kind of potion would a girl like Lily Evans be hiding under her bed, hmm?"

"I have no idea what you're on about," snapped Lily, though the color had risen to her cheeks and her eyes flicked nervously to where Snape sat rigid across from them.

"It's a cute unicorn," James pressed, extremely entertained by both of the reactions he was receiving. "The stuffed toy, I mean. Very…sweet."

Snape was now visibly trembling in fury, James noted happily. He had never before considered that the best way to mess with Snape was to mess with Lily, and all sorts of exciting and vaguely ruthless ideas were forming in his mind.

"You've been in her room?" Snape all but whispered, his voice wavering in vehemence.

Lily, though her face was still flushed, sounded positively calm compared to Snape. "How did you get in my dormitory, Potter?"

"Oh Evans, you don't really believe that I'd give up my secrets, do you?"

"Get out of here," Snape snarled.

James smirked at him and leaned forward, propping his elbows on the table. "But Evans hasn't told me what the potion is yet. Unless you want to tell me, Snivelly? I'm sure you know all about it, eh? The two of you are such good…Potions partners."

"Let's go, Sev," Lily said brusquely, snapping shut the Defense book that had been lying open on the table in front of her. Snape, too, began collecting his things from the table and James chanced a glance at the bag, which was still halfway open, the zipper that had been quietly closing it froze in its endeavor as Snape reached down to grab it without looking…

"Oi!" said James desperately, and both Snape and Lily looked up at his exclamation. "Who are you going to Hogsmeade with, Evans?"

Lily froze halfway through rolling up her parchment. "What?"

If he had been remotely sincere about this, he wouldn't have had the nerve, but seeing Snape's reaction to the idea of James having been in the girls' dormitory had crystallized something in James's mind, and he pressed on. "The Hogsmeade trip at the end of the month. Who are you going with?"

"Well, my mates, I suppose. Adin and Mary and…"

"You should go with me," James said casually, noting that the zipper on Snape's bag was now fully closed and breathing a small sigh of relief.

Snape's eye was twitching and James fought not to laugh. "Leave her alone, Potter."

"And why in the world would I want to go with you?" Lily snapped, ignoring Snape, her eyes locked on James.

"Because I'm quite a catch, obviously Evans."

He felt a nudge against the back of his shoulder and knew that Sirius was finished with the delivery and ready to get out of there, but Lily's eyes were narrowed at him and Snape was breathing fire, and it was too much fun to just up and leave.

"Is that what Black tells you when you two are alone together?" asked Lily coolly.

James grinned at the gibe and opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Peter, who had been standing behind him, all but forgotten.

"We should get going, James," Peter said pointedly, and James knew that Sirius had given him a nudge as well.

"Wait a minute…" Snape said, his furious eyes now narrowed in suspicion and darting between James and Peter. "Where is your boyfriend, anyway, Potter? Or have you chucked Black and taken up with Pettigrew here instead?"

"Sirius?" asked James, examining one of this fingernails with with feigned innocence. "Oh, he's probably off snogging some girl in a broom cupboard…that's right, he mentioned something about your mother, Snivellus…or maybe that was yesterday, I can't quite remember…"

This earned him a very hard poke in the back of the head from the invisible Sirius and James once again had to suppress his laughter.

"Shut your filthy mouth about my mother," snarled Snape, getting to his feet.

James, too, stood, though he did not mirror Snape's fight-ready posture and instead put his hands casually in his pockets and leaned his hip against the table, smirking down at Lily.

"So what do you say, Evans? Hogsmeade?"

Remus appeared, clutching a worn Arithmancy book, and frowning at the scene before him, at Snape's trembling fury, Lily's embarrassed anger, and James's calm smirk. The librarian, Madam Pince, was weaving her way between the tables toward them, finally noticing the disturbance they were causing, her annoyance evident.

"Let's get going, James," Remus said, pulling on James's sleeve.

Lily also stood up and now had a look of indignant disgust on her red face, as her eyes traveled between James and Snape. "You're despicable," she said to the former.

"If you say so," said James, shrugging casually and starting to walk away. "But at least I don't smell like I've bathed in a sewer, right Snivellus? What is that smell, anyway?"

Laughing lightly, James left the library with Remus, Peter, and the still-invisible Sirius, leaving the furious and humiliated pair behind. And though Lily and Severus had both noticed the unfortunate odor that now surrounded them, neither of them acknowledged it, nor did either of them know it emanated from the disillusioned Dungbomb that was now adhered to the bottom of the inside of Snape's bag by way of Permanent Sticking Charm.

"Snape's mother?"

"Yes, well…"

"Snape's mother?"

"I knew it'd rile him up…"

"Snape's mother? Merlin, I'm going to have nightmares for weeks."

"Now you're admitting to dreaming about Snape's mother?"

Sirius shivered. "I'm scarred for life, I'll have you know. I can only take solace in the fact that you were promptly rejected by Lily Evans."

"I can't believe you did that," Peter chimed in. "You realize you just asked Lily Evans on a date."

James was unconcerned. "It's not like I wanted to go to Hogsmeade with her."

"Sure you didn't."

"I just did it to get under Snape's skin."

"Sure you did."

"It's not as if I fancy Evans."

"Sure you don't."

"I mean, what is she doing hanging round Snape, anyway? Obviously she doesn't have much taste."

"So it's a good thing that you don't fancy her then, hmm?"

"Oh, go snog Snape's mother, you idiot."

It was quite possible that Ginuine Leigh had made a huge mistake.

She didn't know what had come over her. She was a private person by nature, had always held very little interest in idle chitchat, had always been guarded in what she said and to whom, not because she had anything to hide, but because she just did not see the point in spilling her guts to other people. And, yet, here she was, on a crisp Sunday afternoon in the middle of October, sitting in the grass by the lake with five other third-year girls, taking a swig of the much ballyhooed Babbling Beverage.

Lily had spent the last few weeks brewing it in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, the bubbling purple potion drawing Gin's eyes when she climbed into bed at night, or when she got out of the shower, or when she was trying to read up on the proper way to cast a Shield Charm. Ev, who had somehow gulled the correct variations on the potion out of the older Hufflepuffs, had assured them all that there was nothing remotely dangerous about taking it. When Gin still expressed her hesitation, Ev guaranteed that they would have full control of their faculties and what they did or did not say.

And so here she sat, surrounded by Lily, Adin, and Ev as well as two of Ev's best Hufflepuff friends, Karina Cotswold and Nancy Robards. This was Ev's idea, after all, and despite Lily acting as the brew-master and the cauldron having lived in the Gryffindor dormitory, they had all agreed that if Ev wanted to let her other friends in on it, that was her prerogative. To nobody's surprise, Adin was holding court. Seeing as Adin seldom stopped talking in the first place, the potion didn't seem to have had that much effect on her normal demeanor, though she was being a bit more detailed in her descriptions than usual, explaining just how exactly the Muggle boy had kissed her over the summer.

"…I mean, we were in his garden, right, and his parents were home…so he kissed me, and then he kind of pulled back and looked about – not like he was embarrassed, but just making sure no one was watching – and then he pulled me round to the side of the house, where nobody would be able to see, and then…"

Gin scooted back against the roots of the willow tree they were sitting near, trying to inconspicuously distance herself from where the other girls were strewn by the water, and attempted to tune Adin out. The branches of the willow hung low, a few almost brushing the grass, and part of Gin hoped that maybe the others would just forget that she had joined them in this rather half-hearted display of rebellion. She peered between the branches and out over the water. There were ripples toward the middle of the lake, small bullseyes made by jumping fish, extending out to the shoreline where they petered out uneventfully, and Gin watched the water's edge lap negligibly against the dark sand, inches away from the shiny tips of Adin's boots. She wondered fugaciously what Adin would do if the water crested the patent leather, sullying the pristine gleam, but then her thoughts turned back to her current situation and she breathed it in alongside the crisp fall air, alternately content and rueful.

The swig of Babbling Beverage she had taken was rolling warmly in her stomach and, despite her misgivings, she found herself comfortable with the lightness it had induced. She had to keep reminding herself that she was among friends. Talking to them, baring something of herself…it was not to be dreaded. She liked these girls, after all.

But she would not tell them about Sirius.

She would not tell them about the note he had slipped her a few days prior, telling her to meet him behind greenhouse three after lessons, where they had kissed each other hungrily before going up to dinner and not looking at each other for the rest of the evening. She would not tell them how much she enjoyed kissing Sirius, that it made her feel proud and like she was getting away with something to explore his lips with her own even though she did not fancy him, not really…not like everyone else seemed to, at least. There was no doubt that the girls spread around her would not understand her perplexing sentiments toward Sirius Black, when every other female was so enamored of him. Gin was sure that even Lily, who was one of the few who seemed resistant to Sirius's charm, would not understand their unusual pairing, their ability to claw at each other and then to promptly ignore one another. And to be frank, not even a swig of Babbling Beverage gave Gin any inclination to try to explain it to anyone.

So, loose-lipped via potion or not, Ginuine Leigh would not tell anyone about kissing Sirius Black.

After a few minutes, Lily, who seemed also to have grown a bit bored with Adin's rambling, scooted back away from the group and leaned against the tree as well, her shoulder brushing Gin's.

"Even with a Babbling Beverage, you're still about as talkative as the giant squid," she said, nudging Gin jovially.

"Sometimes it's hard to get a word in edgewise with Adin nearby."

"You're telling me!" Lily laughed and then paused before saying, "It feels good, right? This potion? Is it wrong of me to think that?"

"No, I agree. I feel different than I thought I would though. I just feel more…relaxed, I guess."

Lily looked shiftily at her. "It's not as strong as the Hufflepuffs make it," she said, glancing at the group of chattering girls around them and keeping her voice low. "I didn't put in quite as much belladonna…I don't know…it made me nervous or something."

Gin shrugged at her, unfazed. In actuality, this was a bit of a relief against the nagging worry that she would slip up and mention something she would regret. "I won't tell. And they won't notice, I'm sure." She nodded toward the others. Adin, Karina, and Nancy had scooted closer together, their voices drifting up toward the willow tree in excited fragments; Ev, though, was moving toward Gin and Lily.

"What are you two talking about up here?" she asked, sitting down and crossing her legs against one of the gnarled roots.

"Nothing exciting," Gin replied. And then before she could stop herself, "just wanted to get away from the talk about Adin's boyfriend's lips."

"You know the sad thing is, I've already heard all about Danny's lips, even before Adin took a swig of the potion," said Lily, giggling.

"Ah well, Adin doesn't have much of a filter, that's why we love her," laughed Ev.

"She can keep a secret though, if you really want her to," said Lily, a bit of a waver to her voice. Both Gin and Ev stared at her waiting for the other shoe to drop. And drop it did. "James Potter asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him." Lily muttered this as though it caused her physical pain.

"What?"

"You kept that quiet," said Gin, watching Lily closely. She had always suspected that Lily liked James Potter more than she ever let on.

"I only told Adin and made her swear not to tell anybody. I'm surprised it hasn't killed her."

"So what did you say?"

"I said no. It was foul, the way he was acting," Lily said, picking idly at the grass next to her. "He didn't mean it, and it was obvious. It was just a laugh to him, a way to pick at Severus."

"But still," said Ev, her eyes wide and excited, "it's James Potter. Even James Potter wouldn't put himself out there like that just to mess with Snape."

Lily frowned at her. "Yes he would. That's probably the only reason he would put himself out there like that. He didn't want to take me to Hogsmeade, and I'd rather go with Peeves than go with him."

"I thought you liked him?" asked Gin without thinking. She grimaced. Maybe the potion was affecting her more than she had thought.

Lily blushed but did not seem annoyed by the question. "For a bit, I guess, but that was before he became an insufferable prat."

Ev pulled the ribbon loose from her hair and then pulled it back to retie it, trying to corral her tresses in the wind. "There's nothing wrong with fancying James Potter, everyone does. I doubt there's a girl below fourth year who doesn't fancy James or Sirius. Or both, more likely."

"That's not true," said Gin, guiltily averting her thoughts from the memory of Sirius's lips on hers. "I don't fancy either of them."

"Yes well," said Ev, securing her hair and grinning at Gin, "that's because you're a robot. Or a seventy-year-old witch trapped in a third year's body."

Gin pulled a face at Ev and turned back to Lily, who was still looking troubled. "So what did you say to him, Lily?"

"I told him he's disgusting, which he is. I mean, he's always been a bit of a git, he's always been full of himself, but it's like over the summer his head inflated to twice its normal size."

"Are there any girls our age going with boys to Hogsmeade next week?" Gin asked Ev, who would undoubtedly know this sort of gossip.

Ev didn't disappoint. "Emily Cagle was asked by Dominick Brown, that fourth-year Ravenclaw, and I think Cassandra Nguyen turned down Damon Laslow but that's all I know."

"You'd better be careful, Lily, or Laslow will be asking after you next," said Gin, nudging Lily with her elbow, remembering how Laslow had pestered Lily to be his girlfriend during first year.

Lily groaned and tapped the back of her head against the trunk of the tree a few times in apparent frustration. "Why do I only attract the prats?"

Ev's laugh at this was a bit heartier than the comment deserved, and Gin was starting to suspect that one of the effects of the potion was to make everything seem vaguely more amusing than it normally would. "James Potter is not a prat. He's probably the most popular boy in school!"

Lily, too, appeared more amused by this than it warranted. "Well then I don't much agree with the tastes of the school, do I?"

There was a great shriek of laughter from the girls by the water and they all turned to see both Adin and Karina giggling uncontrollably, while Nancy frowned at them, apparently put out by something.

"Oi, Nance!" Ev called over to the others, all of whom started and turned to look at her expectantly. "You putting on a comedy routine, or what?"

Nancy stood up from her spot in the grass and ducked under the branches toward them. She was tall, even taller than Gin, with dark skin and warm eyes that seemed at once both embarrassed and irritated by whatever had transpired by the water. She sat down on a flat rock near Ev, closely followed by Adin and Karina, now recovered from their bouts of laughter but still flushed and giggly.

"They're taking the mickey just because I'm not as pervy as they are," Nancy explained, crossing her arms over her chest and rolling her eyes when Adin and Karina started sniggering again.

"It's not pervy to know that you can't get pregnant just from sucking a boy off," said Karina.

Gin snorted, Lily coughed, and Ev dissolved into giggles as well.

"Well how do you know?" asked Nancy.

Karina raised her eyebrows at the other girl, her face alight with laughter. "How do I know where babies come from? Because I'm not six, Nance. You have to, like, shag a boy to get pregnant."

"That's not what Bertha said last year," Nancy mumbled.

"Bertha Jorkins is daft as a dugbog. Unless she's talking about who's been mucking around with who on top of the Astronomy Tower, you shouldn't listen to a word she says."

"Doesn't your mum tell you about things like this?" Gin asked, surprising herself.

Nancy looked at her, horrified. "My mum? Talk to me about…" she paused and lowered her voice to a whisper, "blowies?"

All six girls burst into giggles. Gin was the first to recover. "Not about that. But about, you know, sex and stuff?"

"No! Oh Merlin, and I hope she never does."

Karina nudged her shoulder. "Sounds like you might need that talk."

"Well who told you about all of it, then, since your mum isn't even around?" Nancy asked her, a bit of a bite to her voice.

"Nancy!" scolded Ev, but Karina didn't seem troubled by the question.

"My aunt," Karina said importantly. "She sat me down and told me about sex years ago."

Gin watched Karina curiously, surprised by the news that her mother was out of the picture. She didn't know very much about Karina Cotswold, had only spent scattered afternoons with her while hanging around with Ev, and had never taken much of a liking to the girl. Harsher than most of the other Hufflepuffs, Karina had dark hair, pale skin, very red lips and had always vaguely reminded Gin of a vampire. But as she was a mate of Ev's, and Ev was one of the closest friends Gin had at Hogwarts, she had always kept her opinion of Karina Cotswold to herself.

"My mum too," said Lily. "The summer before I came to Hogwarts, she tried to tell me all about that stuff. Except she kept talking about a flower and a watering can. It was awful."

"I asked my mum once what sex was," Ev chirped, her face red. "She told me not to use foul language like that."

Adin laughed. "Well I wonder what she would say if she heard Karina here talking about sucking a boy off."

"Are you sure you can't get pregnant from that?" asked Nancy.

"You can't," Gin assured her. "Only from sex. And there's a potion to keep that from happening if you don't want it to."

"And a charm, right?" said Adin, inching closer to the center of the group.

Gin shrugged, feeling unreasonably comfortable with the conversation. She never talked this much in a group, but they were all looking at her expectantly, like she was some sort of authority on the topic. "My mum said the boy has to do the charm though, and you shouldn't ever trust that he's doing it right. So it's better for the girl to take the potion."

"Your mum tells you stuff like that?" asked Lily.

"Yes." And then before she could stop herself, before she could even consider what was coming out of her mouth, "Because I was an accident, she wasn't married to my dad. I was a mistake."

A beat of silence followed her confession, during which her heart started rapping rather uncomfortably against her ribcage and she stared out over the lake, avoiding her friends' gazes, suddenly regretful. Why had she ever agreed to try this stupid potion? She knew, she knew, she would say something she would regret, she had just not expected it to be that. The quiet only lasted a second or two, though, before Adin erupted into laughter.

Gin turned to look at her, shocked. "Is there something funny about that?"

Evidently attempting to get her laughter under control under the incredulous stares of the others, Adin composed herself and grinned sheepishly at Gin.

"Sorry. I wasn't laughing at you Gin, or at what you said."

"You weren't?" Gin asked, disbelieving.

"No, I wasn't. I just, I don't know, I thought it was funny because I've shared a dormitory with you for more than two years and you barely ever say anything about yourself, and then you finally do tell us something about you, and it's that, and it just struck me as funny, not what you said, just that you said it at all."

Lily started giggling too. "It's kind of true," she told Gin. "You barely ever tell us anything about you."

"That's not true!"

"Oh come on, Gin," teased Ev. "Of course it's true!"

She felt the words on her tongue before she had even thought about them. "Well what do you want to know?"

Adin and Lily exchanged a surprised look.

"All right," said Adin at once. "Who do you fancy?"

"What?"

"Who do you fancy?" she urged.

"Er, I don't know," said Gin, thoroughly caught off guard. "Do I have to fancy somebody?"

"Everybody fancies somebody," said Ev, before adding with a grin, "Unless you're a robot, of course."

Gin hesitated, knowing she had brought this on herself, knowing she had to give them an answer to, at the very least, deter more questions. "Well…then Barrett Merriweather, I guess."

"That Gryffy fifth year?" Ev asked. "Oh yeah, he's rather good looking, isn't he?"

"Well I obviously think so," laughed Gin.

"He got a month's worth of detentions last year when Professor Kettleburn caught him shagging Didina Murphy under the Quidditch stands," said Karina.

Lily's eyes grew very wide. "Shagging?"

"That's what Bertha said. But Didina's a complete slag, everyone knows that."

Nancy frowned at her friend. "Don't be rude."

Karina raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "Not being rude, just being honest. Didina Murphy's the biggest slag in the school, at least since Bayle Kamana left."

"Well what about Barrett, then?" Lily said, defensive. "Wouldn't he be a slag too?"

Karina shook her head and pushed her dark hair out of her eyes. "No, boys can't be slags. Only girls."

"I disagree." There was a trace of steel in Lily's voice. "And I don't think you should talk about Didina like that. What's she ever done to you?"

"She's never done anything to me personally, but she's done plenty with half the boys at Hogwarts."

Lily was getting a dangerous look in her eye, and Gin leaned back away from the group, the warm contentedness from the potion beginning to seep slowly away from her. It was wearing off, and a cursory glance around told her that the other girls could feel it too.

"Hey, what's everyone wearing to Hogsmeade next week?" Adin asked, clearly trying to change the subject to head off Lily's argument.

Lily frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, but said nothing as talk turned to the Hogsmeade trip, and who would be donning their robes and who was venturing out in Muggle attire. Gin listened half-heartedly, her interest starting to ebb as quickly as the effects of the potion had as she watched a group of boys lazily toss a Quaffle to one another on the opposite shore of the lake. After a while, Lily's shoulder pressed into hers and she looked up at the other girl, curious.

"I forgot to tell you something," Lily whispered, as the rest of the group continued arguing the virtues of jeans versus robes. "Well, warn you really. I think James Potter's been in our dormitory."

"What? How?"

"No idea. I told Adin – and we should let Mary and Raeanne know as well – but we might want to look into putting up wards or something. If Potter's been in there, you know Black's been in there, and God only knows what they were up to."

"How do you think they got up the staircase?"

"It's Potter and Black. How do they manage half the stuff they get up to?"

"I can't say I've given it much thought."

Lily had an unusual expression on her face – defiant or determined, or perhaps a bit of both. "We can get up their staircase, you know."

"Yeah." Gin paused. "Why would you want to?"

Lily crossed her arms and stared out over the water, her mind clearly working. "Maybe…" she said, as if to herself. "Maybe it's time those boys get what's coming to them…"

Slightly unsettled by this idea, Gin shrugged and looked out over the water once again, not wanting to get back into another discussion that ventured too closely to Sirius. She had succeeded, she thought, in avoiding the topic as much as possible during this foray into the Babbling Beverage. And it had been nice, actually, talking to these girls, telling them something about herself.

Perhaps it hadn't been a huge mistake after all.