Chapter 10

Secrets

The next morning, Buffy found Willow making breakfast when she entered the kitchen. "Did you sleep well?" The witch greeted her while leaning over a pan and trying to turn the dough with a spatula because it was cooking much too quickly.

Buffy sighed and sat down at the counter. "I've slept better."

"How is your neck?"

"Oh, good. The pain is gone but purple marks aren't trendy… I gotta wear a scarf so as not to panic everyone at work," she sighed again. Willow couldn't help but agree. She then turned to her friend. "Burnt pancakes?" She asked, staring resignedly at the contents of the pan.

Buffy shrugged. "Sure."

The young witch served the Slayer before sitting down in front of her plate. Buffy didn't speak and the young woman tried to reassure her. "I know you're worried about those demons, Buffy, but we'll figure something out. I promise."

"I know, Will." The Slayer murmured, looking at her plate, "It's just… I don't know what to do… I don't know where to start or what to look for and it's driving me crazy!" She finally said, putting down her fork, and Willow smiled in front of her best friend's characteristic attitude.

"Will, I'm not sure I see how that's funny," Buffy muttered.

"Oh, Buffy, it's not mean, I swear! It's just that you're the Slayer, you're made for action and searching has never been your strong point," she mocked gently. "But I'm sure we'll find something, don't worry," she affirmed when she saw her friend's pensive face.

"I hope you're right…"

"Of course! We always figure something out together! It won't be any different."

"I don't feel operational, Will… I even feel completely out of the loop!" Buffy huffed, annoyed.

"Nobody can blame you for being depressed, Buffy," her friend remarked. "It's been a long time since we had to manage demons and leaving Sunnydale was quite traumatic. You are the Slayer, your reflexes will return quickly," she assured her.

Buffy didn't answer right away and pushed aside a piece of dough that was really too burnt to be eaten. She looked up at her best friend who was drinking a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and hesitated to tell her about the incident the day before and the deepening doubts that assailed her. Despite her desire to confide, she didn't want to bother her with this kind of thing. They had enough to worry about for now and she was the Slayer. She was going to pull herself together and overcome these obstacles alone.

"I called Giles," she said to change the subject. "He should be here early in the evening."

"Great!" Willow exclaimed. "We're all gonna be together like the good old days!"

While smiling back, the Slayer couldn't help but think with sadness that those good old days were those of years of endless battles.

"Why did you tell her?"

Angel raised his head from his book and sighed when he recognized his interlocutor. He had thought that he knew this voice but he had hoped for a few moments that he was wrong. Deep down, he knew that he wouldn't escape the question though. Sooner or later, he knew it would happen. That they would meet. That they would bump into each other on a dark street. He decided to get straight to the point then. Yet his question implied that they had talked and the vampire couldn't help but point it out to him.

"I thought you didn't wanna see her?"

"I didn't. But it turns out that I came across her by chance."

"By chance? Do you really hope I'll believe you?"

"Listen, grandpa, I got nothing to prove to you. I'm telling you that I met her by chance and I ask you why she didn't seem as surprised as she should have!" Angel rolled his eyes when hearing the ridiculous nickname Spike regularly gave him. "I didn't promise you anything, Spike," he said calmly.

"Oh yeah, and so what?" He said angrily, leaning brutally on the desk. "Do you have to bring her over, have her spend the night and go to her house all the time?"

Angel had a mocking smile. "Are you following her? Let me tell you that you look like a dirty old man and you're way too jealous for someone who doesn't care about her…"

"Shut up!" The blond vampire replied, slumping into the sofa, "I didn't tell you to use this excuse to get closer to her," he growled.

Angel sighed. Although he loved making Spike crazy with jealousy over Buffy, he was forced to get to the real reasons for his presence at the Slayer's side. Besides, he wanted to see the vampire's reaction. His unexplained return within days of that of these demons was suspicious.

"An underground nest of demons was discovered deep in a part of the city. There are several races of demons and also vampires."

"Demons don't mix with vampires. Not even between them," Spike pointed out.

"I know but they are now."

"What for?"

"Seems like they eat humans," Angel replied, annoyed.

"They eat humans?" The other vampire wondered, "Is this a new trend?"

Angel ignored his counterpart's questionable humor and continued. "Buffy followed them into a room where they were gathered in a circle around an object. It seemed that light was coming out of the demons and striking the object."

Spike frowned. He had never heard of this kind of ritual. "And then? Did you kill them?"

"There were too many and Xander was sick."

Spike let out a long sigh of disdain and shook his head. "This idiot never makes himself useful," he murmured as if to himself. Angel shrugged. He didn't particularly like Xander either. "Do you know anything?" He asked him casually.

"Why would I?" The blond vampire retorted, on his guard.

"Because you've been hanging out I don't know where for weeks. You've probably heard demons talking or seen vampires get together."

"I knew it! For your information, I don't necessarily hang out in filthy places with demons of all kinds! You two really are prejudiced!"

Angel frowned, surprised. "You two?"

"Forget it." Spike sighed and put his feet on the other end of the couch so that he was lying completely on it. The dark-haired vampire refrained from making a remark about the price it cost him to maintain this sofa but he finally decided to focus on the information he needed.

"It'd really help Buffy to have information," he said, watching the bleached vampire's reaction and the answer was not long in coming. "Of course it'd help Buffy!" Spike got angry, jumping up. "But I don't know everything that's going on in the streets of Los Angeles! I don't keep the demons' agenda either!"

Angel sighed. "I was just saying that if you heard about something, it might help us figure out what they're planning."

"Us? You part of their group now?" Spike sneered. He had moved closer to the desk again and sat on a chair that he had turned around to rest his arms on the back.

"You left the place of the nice vampire free, didn't you?" Angel pointed out cruelly.

Spike's face closed and he moved abruptly towards the door. "If I hear of anything, I'll tell you," he said before walking out.

Spike took the stairs to the basement of the building directly designed to communicate with the city's sewers and allow Angel's movement without risk at any time of the day. As he walked quickly towards the new crypt he had discovered a few weeks earlier, he forced himself to put his thoughts in order.

Unfortunately, the other vampire's words came back to hit him head on and the rage literally consumed him. You left the place of the nice vampire free, didn't you? This sentence was clearly a warning, a provocation, a way of taunting him and telling him: Your place is now free and I won't hesitate to get it back and get closer to Buffy!

Spike let his anger explode and punched one of the walls surrounding him. It crumbled a little under the impact but it made him groan in pain. He looked down at his hand. It was covered in blood and hurt horribly up to his arm. Annoyed by his own propensity to making himself suffer both physically and mentally, the vampire took a deep breath before continuing on his way.

He hadn't told Angel the whole truth. He knew something. Something important, even if it was still vague. Yet there was no way that Angel would take his place but in addition, that he would be the one who would provide information to the Slayer. Moreover, information that concerned him personally.

Arriving in his crypt, Spike had a very clear idea of who he would deliver this information to.

Willow glanced at her watch. It was almost 10pm. She had tried to find information in relation to the discovery of the ritual that Buffy had surprised, without success. During her conversation with the Slayer this morning, she had tried to be optimistic and assured her friend that they would find a solution, that she would find a solution.

The young witch heaved a deep sigh and closed her computer. She walked to the kitchen and drank a large glass of water while massaging her temples. Spending a day on a screen or with her nose buried in a book could not only be frustrating but also a headache factor…

Suddenly, the doorbell rang and she jumped. She then rushed towards the door which she opened without taking the time to check the identity of the person through the peephole.

"Giles, finally! You-

She stopped when she realized that her interlocutor didn't look like Giles. Yet the person wasn't unknown and her eyes widened in astonishment.

"Oh, uh… Hi," she stammered, taken aback.

"Can we talk for five minutes?"

"Eh? Um, yes, yes, of course. Buffy won't be long and…"

"I don't have much time."

"Ah… Okay but… why?" She asked, still stunned.

"Why what?"

"Why are you here?"

Spike frowned and Willow realized her question could be misinterpreted. "I mean, it's really good that you're here, Spike! Really. But I thought you didn't want to help us so…" The vampire shrugged his shoulders. "I got some information and thought you might be interested."

The witch nodded before blushing slightly, which he didn't fail to notice. "What is it?" He asked, surprised by her behavior. "Nothing. It's just that… I'm glad to see you, Spike."

At these words, she took a small step towards him and awkwardly hugged him for a few seconds. Surprised, the vampire didn't step back but couldn't help but make a remark. "Well, either you really missed me or you forgot that you're into girls!"

"Oh, a bit of both," the witch replied while smiling as she moved away from him.

Stunned, the vampire scrutinized her for a few moments to be sure that a spell had not affected the young woman standing in front of him. "I don't know what scares me the most," he finally said, shrugging his shoulders. "Anyway, nothing replaces a real man, I've always said so," he finished with a mocking smile.

Willow smiled again as she stepped aside to let him inside. Suddenly realizing that she would have to invite him first, she felt herself blush slightly again. "Oh, uh… we're at Buffy's and I don't know if…"

"We can talk here," he cut her short.

"Yes, of course, but if you have information, it'd be better to wait for everyone. We'll all meet here soon."

"I don't really wanna join but thank you for the invitation," he grunted.

"I'm sure everyone will be happy to see you again, you know," Willow replied automatically before remembering Xander and Dawn. And Angel. "Well… almost," she admitted, smiling awkwardly.

Spike smiled in turn at the young witch's admission.

Buffy turned onto the street that finally took her home. Her day had been long between monitoring disruptive students and those who didn't know what to do with their future despite the numerous orientation tests she offered them. At least, Jack had been charming. As usual, she thought, smiling. After her day job, she had gone to her night job, meaning she had patrolled the gloomy streets of the city. She had walked for more than two hours without seeing a single demon, and she was astonished. She definitely didn't understand what was going on…

As she was about to reach her house, she noticed someone standing in the doorway. Surprised, she took a few more steps and saw Willow in conversation with… Her heart skipped a beat in her chest and she instantly froze. What was he doing here? Maybe he had come to see her? She only had to come closer and she would know, she realized. But she found herself strangely incapable of doing so. She stood in the darkness of the street and remained invisible to their eyes. This saving darkness allowed her not to confront him and she was grateful for that.

Suddenly, she saw them heading in her direction. Damn, they were going to see her! What could she say about the fact that she stood back in front of her own house? Before Buffy had time to consider a credible explanation though, Willow and Spike took the street in the opposite direction without noticing her. The Slayer inwardly thanked providence before frowning. Where were they both going? She watched them walk away and turn into a side street before disappearing from her field of vision. Should she follow them? In the end, she gave up when she realized that Willow would explain everything when she'd be back. Plus, her friend was a witch strong enough to protect herself if necessary. Definitely reassured, the Slayer walked up the path to her door.

"So… where are we going?" Willow finally dared to ask but Spike shrugged in response. "You're the one who asked me to go out!" She pointed out then, surprised.

"I didn't say I had a specific goal. I'd rather just walk and avoid running into any of your friends."

"Ah." Willow was more and more confused by the vampire's attitude. Yet she decided to trust him and waited patiently for him to tell her what he had come to find her for. Finally, after a few minutes of silence, he suddenly stopped and turned towards her, startling the witch.

"Don't tell them I'm the one who gave you this information," he said. Willow's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to protest but Spike didn't give her time to do so. "I'm not telling you anything if you tell them," he added.

"Seriously, Spike… What's going on?" She asked him, taken aback.

"You won't tell them?"

The witch wrung her hands for a few moments. A promise was a promise and she couldn't break her word if she gave it. If Spike didn't want to have the best role of being the one providing information, then too bad for him. The most important thing was to bring back something that would help them face this new threat.

"Fine, I won't say anything," she murmured, shrugging her shoulders. "Although I really don't understand why you-

"I got my reasons," he cut her short. He took a deep breath and resumed his long strides, forcing Willow to rush after him. "Hey!" She exclaimed, "Don't go so fast!" Spike pointedly slowed his pace and let her catch up with him. As soon as she reached him, he told her what he had figured out about the recent events. "The First is behind all that."

In shock, Willow stopped for a few seconds. "But… How… Wait, are you sure…"

"I'm sure," he muttered as he continued walking calmly. The witch resumed her walk alongside the vampire then. "How do you know?" She whispered.

"Let's say we created a bond…"

"What?!" This time, Willow froze completely and an old lady glanced at her suspiciously from across the street. "What?" She repeated in a lower voice.

The vampire turned to her and sighed. He knew it wouldn't be easy but if anyone could believe him, it was Willow. She was the smartest of the group and probably the one who had the most empathy towards him. He shook his head, thinking that he wished he could tell Buffy about it. They weren't on good terms enough for that now though.

"I think I feel the First," he finally answered.

The witch was still having trouble processing what the vampire had just said and she struggled to focus on his words. "What kind of connection do you have with… the First?" She asked after a few moments.

The vampire sighed while shaking his head. "It's hard to explain… Actually, I don't know why I came back but since then, I've had a feeling that keeps growing and I know it comes from the First." He paused before looking into the eyes of the witch who was listening to him in disbelief.

"It's a feeling of evil," he continued softly. "Absolut evil."

"How can you be so sure that it comes from the First?" Willow pointed out to him. "Maybe you imagine it…"

"I remember the feeling I had when it took possession of my body thanks to the song my mother sang to me. It's similar to that feeling," he continued, "but I feel it consciously and… it increases. This is why I have the impression that the First hasn't completely disappeared and is even regaining power quickly."

Willow remained silent for a few seconds. All this information was vital. If Spike was right, not only was the threat identified but they also knew how to defeat it since they had already done so.

A smile stretched the witch's face, much to the vampire's amazement. "I didn't think that was the kind of news that'd make you happy!" He admitted. Willow turned her attention to him before explaining her reasoning. "If this is the First, we know how to get rid of it, Spike! We've already done it!"

He shook his head. "The demons you saw are evidence of the new activity of the First. And I remind you that it was the necklace I wore that destroyed it. I have no idea where it is. Besides, even if I feel the First, I'm unable to locate it. It could be in Asia or San Francisco!"

"For this last problem, I have the solution," Willow said quietly, "The First is here."

"What do you mean?" He replied, frowning. "How do you know?"

"Buffy saw some sort of strange ritual yesterday. I'm sure it has something to do with the return of the First. She said they were casting light into an object." The vampire nodded, remembering his conversation with Angel. "Yeah, it must be related. Where did she see these demons?" He asked her.

"It's in a dead end in the Florence district. There's a secret entrance in front of an abandoned store."

Spike seemed to think for a few moments before speaking again. "I'll try to learn more and I'll tell you what I find."

"Okay but… why don't you wanna tell the others yourself?"

"I thought you were smarter than that," he said, giving her a sidelong glance. Willow frowned. She saw no reason for his desire to keep this secret.

"It's simple," he finally sighed. "I don't know why I feel the First. Maybe it still has the power to manipulate me and I can't take a chance on that. Plus, I can use my anonymity here to infiltrate the demons and find out what they're doing. Angel is known for fighting demons in this town. So that leaves me," he concluded, shrugging his shoulders.

"I could still talk to Buffy, she'll understand…"

"Buffy doesn't need to know," he said. "I don't want her to take any chances or change her outlook if it turns out I'm actually bound to the First."

Willow nodded silently. Spike was right about that. Buffy's mission was to destroy evil and knowing that Spike was maybe linked to it, even against his will, was certainly not going to help her. She remembered Andrew's remark and her own questions about the relationship she had had with Spike while they fought against their greatest enemy but didn't dare ask about it.

"How is she?" He asked her suddenly, snapping her out her thoughts.

"She's okay," she replied without much conviction. This didn't escape the vampire who looked into her eyes and Willow quickly looked away, embarrassed. "She's a little… distracted," the young woman admitted, sighing. "This new threat when we thought we were in the clear has disconcerted her…"

"She's strong, she'll get through it," the vampire concluded, lighting a cigarette. Willow agreed with a nod that she hoped was convincing.

"See you in three days at 10pm at Forest Lawn Cemetery," he added after taking a drag from his cigarette. "I found a crypt over there."

"At 10pm? What am I gonna tell Buffy and the others?" The young woman got worried.

"That's up to you," the vampire replied as he walked away, ending their meeting.

Willow remained in shock for a few more seconds because of all these revelations before turning back towards the Slayer's house. What excuse was she going to come up with when she had to meet Spike in three days? And how to use the precious information he had just given her without betraying her promise?

The witch shook her head as she got closer to her goal. This whole thing was starting to get really complicated…

When Buffy saw her best friend walk through the door, she refrained from pestering her with questions about Spike's presence and their conversation. She just asked her in the most innocent way possible.

"So, Will, where have you been? Didn't you want to wait for Giles?"

The witch took the time to take off her coat and hang it up before turning to the Slayer. "I went to the library because I thought I had a lead but it didn't work." She made a vague gesture while trying to appear natural.

Buffy received her best friend's words like a stab in the heart. She just couldn't believe Willow was lying to her. For a moment, she was even tempted to think that she had imagined the figures of the vampire and her friend in the darkness. Yet, in an equally destructive split second, she knew she was not mistaken. She decided not to let anything show, far too hurt to point it out to her.

"Ah, okay… Giles called, he's stuck in New York City due to material failure," she said in a neutral voice. "He said he'd be here tomorrow evening at the latest so I postponed this evening's meeting until tomorrow since no one has anything new."

Willow nodded in agreement.

"I'm going to bed," the Slayer added, heading towards the stairs, "I had a rough day at work."

"Oh, of course! Good night, Buffy!" The young woman was delighted that her friend hadn't noticed anything unusual.

"Good night."