They arrived at the castle just as the sun was setting, bleeding a glowing ochre light through the castle. Clouds edged in coral pink infused the sky.
For Sesshomaru, the journey to the castle had been a simmering torment. He could sense Kikyo's doe eyes staring up at him searchingly, her arm clasped tightly around him. Having her near after being apart was an exquisite torture, he had almost forgotten in that brief period how pulchritudinous Kikyo was.
They floated gently down to the castle gates with Kikyo's soul collectors spiralling around them.
Sesshomaru released Kikyo as soon as their feet touched the ground, as if her touch burned him. Kikyo did not seem to notice this. He expected her to make her way to the room she had claimed in the castle, but she did not. Instead, she drifted over to the weeping willow trees nestled by the bubbling stream. She walked to the gnarled trunks and ran her milk white hands along the rough bark. Her skin glowed in the luminous orange sunset and her eyes were shining like copper. She looked as ethereal as a woodland nymph. In the pinkness of the sun, the lime green leaves of the willow's tendrils had taken on a yellow hue.
Kikyo was displaying a despondent mood, and her earlier outburst of tears had been unexpected. Sesshomaru had seen tears drip down her cheeks when she lost the ability to move underneath the barrier. But her flurry of tears earlier had seemed different, stemming from a despair more profound. What had happened at the village? Had she quarrelled with Inuyasha?
Sesshomaru needed to go inside and keep his distance. But she looked so unbearably sad under the willow trees, a beautiful figure under the fading sun. The urge to comfort her overrode his reason, and so he followed her until he stood a few metres away near the edge of the tree line.
He said nothing to her, and Kikyo was silent for a long time. They watched the sunlight filter over the sky, and watched the tiny silhouette of birds flying in the distance.
"My sister Kaede died yesterday," Kikyo said eventually. Her voice sounded hollow and empty, as if sorrow had buried itself so deep inside her, it no longer had a hold on her voice.
Understanding slammed into Sesshomaru. So that was why she had spent the night away from him. She had not then, rekindled her relationship with Inuyasha. Inuyasha had nothing to do with it. His resolution to put out the spark between him and Kikyo wavered.
He had forgotten the old harridan was dying, had even failed to remember that the old woman was Kikyo's sister.
Kikyo still had one delicate hand on the trunk of one of the willow trees, stroking it like it was a pet. It was quiet at the gate, his servants had clearly moved on to repair damage further back in the castle. Even Kikyo's soul collectors had drifted off. It was so quiet, the trickling from the stream in front of them sounded somehow amplified.
"I have so many questions about her life on my lips, but now she's not here to ask. What experiences in her life did I miss? Had Kaede ever been in love? Did she marry someone and become widowed? As a child she gave me nothing but love and I gave her nothing but hardship in return. Even with my resurrection…the first one I mean…I ignored Kaede in order to pursue Naraku and the destruction of the shikon jewel. What kind of sister am I, if I didn't know my sister at all?" Kikyo said, her voice still had a frozen, flat edge to it. She turned to look at Sesshomaru and the skin under her eyes was as dark as a bruise, her eyes agonised by fresh grief.
Sesshomaru had no idea what to say, he no understanding of how to alleviate human grief. When his father had died, he had felt the twinge and ache of loss, but had enfolded his feelings in contempt and anger. Contempt and anger that his father would throw away his life to save a human, when humans were destined to die after a short time in this world anyway. His father had always seemed disappointed in him and his cold, silent ways. Perhaps Sesshomaru had reminded his father of Lady Sora.
Kikyo watched Sesshomaru ruminate over his past, watched him fumble desperately for the right words to say to give her solace. Her eyes glittered like lode stones as the sun slowly went down.
"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" Kikyo asked suddenly. All the thoughts swirling around Sesshomaru's mind were ripped away abruptly. Kikyo was moving towards him slowly, with almost trance-like movements, not noticing the willow tree tendrils sliding off her shoulders. Sesshomaru almost felt like a moth does when confronted with a mesmerising light, unable to look away as fascination swept over fear.
"Under the barrier, you wanted to kiss me. I could see it in your eyes," Kikyo continued, still edging closer to him. The closer the priestess came, the more his heart began to hammer against his chest in anticipation. Sesshomaru had never experienced such a reaction from his own body. It almost felt like he was going into battle.
Then Kikyo was standing before him, so close he could admire her flawless alabaster skin, count every black eyelash fringing her eyes and gaze into the russet spangles of her irises. Kikyo raised her hands up and cupped Sesshomaru's cheeks in her fingers, guiding his face down to her own. Kikyo leaned in, pressing her lips against Sesshomaru's, and her lips felt as soft and as cold as rose petals. One kiss opened up to another, and Sesshomau could feel his resolve being broken down by each sweet, chaste kiss she placed on his stiff lips. He wanted her so badly it was like the servants, the castle, Japan itself had shrunk into nothing. As she shyly kissed him, Kikyo took over his whole world.
Control slipped under waves of desire, Sesshomaru relented to his feelings and kissed Kikyo back hard, almost punishingly. Kikyo's fingers clutched at his chest as his tongue parted her mouth. His clawed hands clasped her waist and she pushed against him, until he could feel every inch of her body against his own. Sesshomaru's own body reacted treacherously quickly to her touch and he could feel himself swelling under his yellow sash.
If Kikyo felt alarmed by his arousal she did not show it, only crushed her body against him harder, as if she wanted to lose herself in the feel of him.
It would be so easy, so satisfying, to lift the priestess up in his arms and take her to the privacy of his room, to tear her clothes off and take her in his bed. Then maybe once he had touched and tasted her, he could find some semblance of peace from the maddening desire running through his veins, invading every inch of his skin.
But a part of him managed to struggle free before he could act, the part of him that sneered at such romantic weakness. The more he touched Kikyo, the deeper his love for her burrowed into his heart, like an arrow embedded in flesh. He could not afford to love Kikyo. And it would be wrong to sleep with her knowing he could not give himself to her fully, it would be fatal with Tsumetai, Mikata, Hokai and Subarashi on his back. He could only afford to care for Rin: he had to keep her safe.
And it hurt to admit it, but he was afraid. Afraid to open up to what he was feeling, afraid his enemies would kill Kikyo and he would be left alone, devastated and more shut down than he was now.
With the sheer force of dogged will, Sesshomaru gently broke the lingering kiss between them and turned his face away. Kikyo blinked up at him blankly, her lips slightly swollen and her eyes feverish, reflecting the same desire he himself was trying to resist. "Sesshomaru?"
Sesshomaru turned his back on Kikyo, so all she could see was the silvery sheet of his long hair. "Forgive me. It will not happen again," he said numbly, hating himself. He began to walk towards the castle with heavy steps of regret.
"Sesshomaru…Don't leave," Kikyo whispered softly behind him, she sounded confused and bewildered. Sesshomaru looked back slightly, out of the corner of his eye he saw Kikyo's sorrowful expression, asking him for succour. Sesshomaru pushed his clamouring feelings away and walked into the castle, leaving Kikyo's hands empty.
Sesshomaru stayed in his room that night, fearful that if he paced around his castle, that he may well walk himself right into Kikyo's arms again. If she kissed him a second time, he was not sure he would have the strength to pull away from her.
Sesshomaru lay on his bed, the silk sheets cooling his hot skin. He knew he faced a night of heated frustration, but he must not give in. If he crossed that line, he would never come back from it. Under no circumstances could he succumb and enter Kikyo's room tonight. No matter how vividly he could remember the feel of her lips against his, no matter how easily he could recall the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest. Not even if these thoughts made his breath catch with an intense longing that he could barely stand to experience.
As usual when Kikyo was near, he became irrevocably preoccupied with her location. His nose and ears were a hindrance and he wished he knew a way to dull his senses. Sesshomaru could tell she was still in the front of the castle grounds, probably in the same place he had left her. Kikyo stayed outside, unmoving, for a long time before she eventually retired to her room.
Sharp guilt began to mingle with his longing. He knew what he had done was cruel and poorly timed in light of Kaede's death. Kikyo had caught him unprepared. Previously, she had always been so reserved, but tonight something in her had changed, he had never expected her to kiss him so openly, with so much need.
Feeling glum and wretched, Sesshomaru skulked in his room until morning, torturing himself by imagining what his night would have been like if he had relented to his desires, or by wondering what was in store for him the following night at his mother's banquet.
Sesshomaru did not need to sleep, but he was so entrapped in his thoughts that he dozed off on his bed. His dreams were dominated by Kikyo, and his dream self had no cause to resist the consequence- free wandering of his dreams. In his dreams he was rewarded with a shadow of his heart's desire, dreams where Kikyo was naked in his arms and he touched every inch of her moonlit skin as his dream-Kikyo moaned...
Sesshomaru woke abruptly, feeling his desires more keenly than ever.
A milky daylight streamed into his room, partially blocked by his paper screens. He had slept through most of the night.
A few minutes later, a tiny clawed fist knocked on the wood of his door.
"Lord Sesshomaru? Are you awake? There is a lady here to see you," Jaken called out. For one foolish moment his heart jumped, thinking the little toad meant Kikyo. But then he realised Jaken would not announce Kikyo in such a way.
Sesshomaru raised his silver eyebrows in surprise, wondering if his mother had turned up to ensure he was attending her party that evening.
"Enter," Sesshomaru said curiously. He stood up expectantly, almost pleased someone had come to visit him. Usually he would have been irked at being disturbed, but today it would take his mind off of Kikyo.
Jaken opened Sesshomaru's sliding door with some difficulty. "May I present lady Natsu," Jaken said in an out of breath voice as he shoved at the sliding door.
A woman sashayed over the threshold with all the confidence of a brightly coloured peacock. The demoness was dressed in a jewel-bright kimono made of heavy silk, the gown parting provocatively above her right knee. This style of kimono would have horrified most human women, but was widely accepted as the height of fashion amongst the demon circles of Japan.
Being the daughter of Subarashi meant Natsu was a powerful and popular demon. Coming from the hot and rocky beaches of the south of the country, Natsu herself could have made this lighter kimono style popular. The gauzy looking silk was a lot more figure hugging than a traditional style kimono, with only two thinner layers. Sesshomaru could see priceless Habukei silk in a pale blue colour peeking out by her legs and bust, covered by the slightly heavier turquoise outer kimono, stitched to depict waves on the ocean.
Natsu had a much curvier figure than most women and she certainly had her assets on display, as her kimono was lower cut at the chest and showed her cleavage. Strings of aquamarine and ocean jasper jangled around her neck and wrists. Her dark blonde hair curled around her face and down her back, nearly reaching her waist. Natsu's eyes were a sea green with flecks of yellow. She gave Sesshomaru a flirty, welcoming smile.
"Oh! There he is! We finally meet Sesshomaru! I thought I'd drop by and see you before the banquet tonight," Natsu said as she shuffled further into his room, shooing a gaping Jaken away with a wave of her bejewelled hand. Jaken glared at Natsu with a disgruntled look, but did not dare to disobey such a high-born demoness. To Sesshomaru's amusement, the little toad shut the door, grumbling quietly as she padded away.
Natsu sauntered over to the end of Sesshomaru's bed and sat on the edge, swinging her oddly shining, tanned legs in a peculiar fashion that Sesshomaru supposed he was supposed to find alluring. Natsu looked Sesshomaru up and down hungrily.
"Well, well, well. I've seen paintings of you, and other demonesses have told me how handsome you are. But seeing you in person is much better," she said, licking her red lips.
Sesshomaru was stunned into silence, amazed that this stranger had just waltzed into his room so brazenly. Was he not one of the strongest, deadliest demons in the country? He drew in a discreet breath to contain any outbursts of rage. Natsu was clearly a woman used to getting her own way.
"How…nice…of you to visit," Sesshomaru forced out, trying hard to look pleased. Natsu looked far too comfortable lounging about on his bed. "Did your father send you?"
Natsu gave a tinkling laugh, tossing her mane of brassy hair. "No no, Daddy told me you wanted to get to know me. He said you were finally looking for a suitable mate. I wanted to meet you straight away to show you that I'm suitable. In fact, you won't find a demoness more suitable," Natsu said with an arrogant smile.
Sesshomaru said nothing for a moment, reeling from her use of the word 'daddy'. She sounded like a child. Natsu was attractive in her own tanned, voluptuous way and she oozed privilege and wealth. She was very different from Kikyo's pale, willowy beauty.
"Indeed," Sesshomaru replied with a cold bite inescapable from his tone. He stood in the corner of his own room awkwardly, unsure of how to navigate Natsu's sudden visit.
"And did he have any message about the human massacre he is planning?" Sesshomaru asked waspishly.
To his surprise Natsu shrugged, as if the topic was dull. "Oh no, I have no interest in that kind of thing, I keep out of whatever plans he has brewing," Sesshomaru wondered what Natsu's life was like, what did she do all day? Some demons were more or less attached to their demonic birth places, the river demons for example. But being such a significantly powerful demon, Natsu was not restricted like this.
The demoness got to her feet and prowled closer to Sesshomaru, nearly as close as Kikyo had been the night before, until her breasts lightly brushed against his chest. Natsu cocked her head to the side, looking amorous. She gazed at Sesshomaru like he was a particularly sumptuous meal she wanted to take a bite out of. When she spoke her voice was low and sensual.
"I want you to come find me at the banquet. Not too early though, your mother has some exotic wine being imported in for the feast, and I like to sit and gossip with the other demonesses…but after a few cups of wine, I could be persuaded to get a lot more familiar," she said conspiratorially. She did not wait for him to answer, or perhaps she could see in his stony expression that he was tongue-tied. With a flourishing wave she sauntered to the door, slid it open and left. Sesshomaru could hear her jewels clattering as she walked to the castle entrance.
Sesshomaru stared at the door discontentedly. What on earth would he have to endure at his mother's feast tonight? He was tempted to make himself scarce until the damned party was over. But the thought of staying in the castle, trying to avoid Kikyo was more than he could stand. He would have to attend and drown his sorrows in his mother's exotic wine, all the while trying to dodge Natsu's advances.