Sesshomaru turned his back on Kikyo, so all she could see was a silvery sheet of his long hair. "Forgive me," he said in a voice thick with emotion, "it won't happen again."

Kikyo's mind struggled to move past the carnal passion that was flooding through her. She had felt so hopelessly immersed in her sorrow and loneliness, that she had recklessly kissed Sesshomaru, desperate to free herself from the darkness. Kikyo had not expected their kiss to stop time the way it did. Sesshomaru had kissed her back so fiercely it was like he was on the verge of losing control, and she was losing herself along with him.

Now as he turned away she felt dumb and slow. Why was he pulling away from her? When they both knew this was what he wanted?

Sesshomaru began walking towards the castle, his shoulders looked rigid and his back stiff. Kikyo did not want him to go, she wanted to remain lost in his lascivious embrace.

"Sesshomaru…Don't leave." Kikyo whispered pleadingly. If he turned around and back into her arms, she would willingly, gladly, give him her body and soul.

Sesshomaru turned his head to the side for a moment, the corner of his golden eyes unfathomable.

Then he left, leaving her bereft as the setting sun behind her.

Kikyo stood in the garden mutely, until the warmth of the sun's rays left her back and was replaced by the icy hand of dusk. Kikyo stared into nothingness. She did not understand why he had kissed her so fervently, then suddenly walked away? Why let her in just to push her back? Why would he lead her on so cruelly?

Kikyo felt like she had been punched in the gut, she had acted foolishly and now the full weight of shame settled on her shoulders.

Unsure of what she should do, Kikyo made her way to the room she used. Kikyo undressed and sank onto the futon, curled up like a cat.

What should she do now? Sesshomaru had told her another kiss would not happen between them…She had to admit she was surprised that he had turned away from her. Kikyo remembered how hard he had gripped her waist, how his erection had dug into her hip. Sesshomaru desired Kikyo and she craved him, so what was his problem?

'I suppose there are a myriad of problems, despite our feelings for each other. Inuyasha will always be an obstacle between us. And what kind of life would we have anyway? Sesshomaru likely wants a partner he can have children with. And I'm dead, a shallow husk of what I was,' Kikyo thought miserably. It must be to do with one of these matters…Or was he bothered by something else?

She considered if she should leave, but where could she go? It seemed childish to run away and they still had a job to do. Would Kikyo have to swallow down the bitter humility echoing within her and have to try to continue their mission with as much dignity as she could muster?

Kikyo lay listlessly through the night, fantasising about how her night could have ended up, if only Sesshomaru had stayed with her.

Kikyo fell into a fretful sleep, tossing and turning until the sheets became entangled around her arms and legs. She did not require sleep, but the lack of conscious rumination was a benefit to her now.

Kikyo woke up again when the morning light struck her face. She woke up dazed, forgetting for a moment the reason for the nebulous unhappiness that accompanied her opening eyes. Kikyo lay there bundled on her futon for an unaccountable amount of time, listening to the scurrying of the castle demons outside her room. With a reluctant groan, Kikyo dragged on her priestess garb.

Then she heard another sound, the sound of necklaces and bangles tinkling as they smacked together. And the high-pitched sound of a woman's voice. Intrigued, Kikyo tip-toed softly to her door, gently sliding it open a crack. She peered out quickly enough to see a tall, blonde demoness stride past, a stressed looking Jaken hopping in her wake.

Kikyo carefully poked her head out of the door, watching the demoness walk up the hall. The demoness stopped outside of Sesshomaru's room and Jaken announced her as 'Natsu', before heaving open the door. Natsu slipped inside Sesshomaru's room.

Kikyo shut the door quickly, hardly believing her own eyes.

Why was a young, pretty demoness entering Sesshomaru's private chambers? Was that woman why he had pulled away from her kiss? Had he really moved on so quickly, or was there nothing to move on from?

A surge of fury nearly choked Kikyo. She was not sure how much more emotional upheaval she could stand. Sesshomaru had been her one chance of some contentment from life. Now she wondered if it was all in her head, if he had ever cared for her at all.

Kikyo clutched the door for a moment, then her hands curled into fists. She was overtaken by a panicked anger. How could Sesshomaru treat her like this?

Kikyo waited by the door, listening, until she heard the demoness flounce past and out of the castle. Once the mysterious demoness had made her exit, Kikyo slammed open her door and stormed up to Sesshomaru's room, her dark hair flying behind her. She opened the door to his bedroom with such aggressive force that it hit the frame with a shudder.

Sesshomaru was standing in the corner, staring into space with a sullen look. He gave Kikyo a mildly startled glance, before glaring at the floor.

Kikyo tried to contain the bubbling resentment rising within her chest. She had to find out who that demoness was, but did not know how to confront him without sounding painfully green-eyed and jealous. Then she decided she did not care, she would drag it out of him, she had to.

Kikyo marched up to Sesshomaru, her dark eyes blazing with suspicion. She may have been a small framed woman, dwarfed by the dog demons height, but her demeanour demanded attention. They were on shaky ground now.

Even though she was standing right before him, Sesshomaru avoided Kikyo's piercing gaze. Almost like it was painful to look at her. At least he had the decency to look somewhat ashamed.

Kikyo's eyes were like daggers. "Who was that demoness in your room just now?" she asked sharply.

Sesshomaru gave her a quick, dull look, before crossing over to the other side of his room and sliding his bedroom door shut. He stayed by his door with his back to her, his clawed hand lingering on the wall. "I hardly see why I need to discuss that with you."

Kikyo followed Sesshomaru and grabbed his arm insistently. "Tell me." she said, her voice was lower than usual, showing how determined she was.

Sesshomaru scooted round her and further into his magnificent bedroom, perching on the edge of his solid gold tiger statue, the golden metal standing out starkly when set against his silver hair. He seemed intent on keeping Kikyo at a distance, like he was worried she might kiss him again. He had a grim, unsettled look on his face, as if an unprecedented puzzle lay before him that he could not solve.

When he spoke it was with a careful neutrality. "Her name is Natsu. Her father, a powerful water demon, wishes me to join his culling of some of the humans in Japan. In return, his gift to me is his daughter's hand in marriage."

Kikyo stared at him for a moment, then looked at the tatami mats on the floor as though they could answer her confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Natsu was merely introducing herself and checking if I was going to my mother's banquet tonight."

Kikyo looked up at Sesshomaru, baffled. Sesshomaru being asked to 'cull' the human population? She was certain Sesshomaru had probably killed dozens of humans in his long lifetime, scores maybe if they had been foolish enough to get in his way. But he did not seem the type of demon that would deliberately seek out humans in order to destroy them. After all, he must have some small regard for humans if he took care of Rin.

And even stranger, Sesshomaru was going to a banquet. His patience had been severely tested when his demons were forced to take refuge in the great hall with him when the barrier had trapped them. It seemed unlikely that he would willingly go and spend time socially with anyone.

"You would never kill humans on someone else's say so," Kikyo scoffed with disbelief. "And since when did you show any interest in going to banquets?"

"Yes, I'm going to a banquet," Sesshomaru snapped, looking vexed at the thought. "Subarashi could make the decision to back Tsumetai and Mikata in this war, which will make our lives more difficult. It would make more sense really, Subarashi wants the humans dead, and our enemies would relish the idea of a large-scale human massacre."

She had never seen Sesshomaru looking so distracted and unhappy. It was barely perceivable, his expression not far off of his usual stoic mask. It was only noticeable to her because of subtle variations- the almost non-existent frown, the ever so slight down turn of his mouth. She knew him well enough to see these things now.

Kikyo hugged herself, looking solemn and suddenly feeling exhausted. "...So that's it?"

Sesshomaru looked at her blandly, the tiger gleaming behind him.

"We kissed…And now you're going to pretend that it didn't happen," she said. It was not a question.

Sesshomaru gave a small sigh, his facial expression shifting to take on a lightly pained look. "I need to think of Rin and her safety," he said. Kikyo shook her head in disbelief, her raven locks swaying around her.

Rin. Subarashi. Tsumetai. Hokai. How many more obstacles would Sesshomaru shove before them? From what she knew of Sesshomaru, he did not particularly care what anyone else thought and would doggedly pursue his own path. Sesshomaru was labouring the point that to deny Subarashi would put Rin in danger, but was she not in danger already? And was it likely that his fellow demons would risk incurring his considerable wrath to murder a child or side with his enemies? Surely he knew how dangerous and powerful he was.

It was an excuse. Every person he put before her was an excuse.

Kikyo frowned, shaking her head. "Don't lie to me, Sesshomaru! Rin, Inuyasha, this Subarashi demon you keep talking about. You're using these people to hide from the truth. Like you care what others want and think," Kikyo said scathingly, her voice dripping with disappointment.

Sesshomaru frowned at her. "I don't understand what you mean."

Kikyo wanted to scream at him, he was so frustratingly blind to what he was doing. Kikyo threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "It's not anyone else, it's you!" Kikyo said gloweringly. "You're a coward…Refusing to open up to the possibility that-"

Like an angry snake Sesshomaru reared up, a devastating look on his face. "Then perhaps you should run back to Inuyasha!" he threw back at Kikyo.

A thin silence permeated the room. Kikyo could not believe he would say such a thing. She had told him about Kaede, and had laid her heart out for him to see. Sesshomaru sat back down, his face hidden.

Kikyo sighed, trying to stay calm. Why could he not see what he was doing?

Kikyo quietly walked up to Sesshomaru and crouched before him, so he could not avoid looking into her sparkling, onyx eyes. "My sister…My sister died. I came to you for -for comfort. Because I believed that you cared about me. But you…You just walked away from me when I needed you," Kikyo said, her soft voice cracking slightly. Sesshomaru winced, like she had thrown a heavy object at him. He looked up at the ceiling, as if he was trying to find the right words.

"I do…Care about you." he said finally, avoiding her gaze still. He could not look at her, could not touch her. He could barely stand to have Kikyo so near.

Kikyo gazed up at him hopelessly. She could not force him to acknowledge his feelings for her if he was so determined to bury them. Perhaps it had been a mistake to open up to Sesshomaru so completely, when he himself could not do the same.

All of a sudden the fight went out of Kikyo, like a candle that had been blown out. She stood up slowly. She had reached for the light of some happiness, and ended up groping in the dark.

"Fine. Go to your banquet. Kill as many people as you want," she said, making her way to the door.

"Kikyo…" Sesshomaru called out to her uncertainly. Kikyo looked back at him, her hair a smooth jet waterfall down her back. Her eyes were hooded with despondency.

"Forget me Sesshomaru. Forget I ever came here," she said before walking away.