When Kikyo woke up, she was not entirely sure where she was. All that she knew upon waking was that she felt awful. Her head felt heavy and foggy and her fake heart felt like someone had attempted to use a plunger on it. Despite this she was otherwise warm and comfortable, wrapped up in black, silk sheets.
Kikyo stretched out and realised she was leaning on a leg. She looked up in amazement, having never been in this position before. It was Sesshomaru's lap that she was lying on. He had noticed her shifting around and was staring down at her with his molten gold eyes fringed in black lashes, his amaranth stripes standing out starkly against his pale cheeks.
"Good morning," he said dryly.
Kikyo blinked up at him hazily, utterly mystified. "How…How did I get here?"
Sesshomaru frowned slightly. "I carried you. You don't remember?"
"I haven't tried to yet," Kikyo said with a groan as she lifted her head from Sesshomaru's leg. She wondered how long Sesshomaru had been forced to stay upright whilst she dozed on his lap. Sitting up, Kikyo realised her hair was a tangled clump and she was still clad in the silk purple kimono from the night before.
Kikyo knew she must look frightful, but Sesshomaru did not seem to notice this. Kikyo felt fuzzy and her peripheral eyesight was rather blurry, but she could see the dog demon fine. Looking at Sesshomaru, she could tell that he was trying hard to look stoical and unconcerned, but underneath that, he looked a little upset.
Slowly, flashes of the night before began to resurface, but they were a confused jumble.
"What happened to me? I-It's all a blur right now," she asked Sesshomaru, trying to finger-comb her knotted long hair.
"We were poisoned, all of us. Something in the clover wine. It was why everyone was acting so…disinhibited."
"Poison?" Kikyo repeated with horror, freezing from her unsuccessful attempt to straighten out her hair.
"Not poison that kills apparently. Just poison that makes us act like fools," Sesshomaru said, looking wound up.
"But why? What would the purpose be?" Now that Sesshomaru had explained, she realised the poison was why she was feeling so bad, why her head was swimming and her eyes felt dry.
"I don't know, I will need to assess the damage caused. You were affected the most, the other demons present were fine."
Suddenly, flashbacks began to float up thick and fast within Kikyo's memory. Meeting Natsu, being attacked by the split mouth demon, speaking to a very drunk and poisoned Lady Sora and then…the intimate embrace with Sesshomaru by the lake. With a new painful clarity she remembered every kiss, every caress…
"Sesshomaru…did we…I remember- What happened by the lake?" Kikyo asked. She was hyper aware now of being in his bed. She could remember the banquet now but nothing about the return journey back. Now that she remembered what things they had done on the pagoda- what else had happened between her and Sesshomaru?
Had Kikyo lost her virginity to him but in an awful twist of fate, could not remember it?
"Did anything else happen between us, when we got back?" Kikyo asked shyly. The magic within her body flooded her palid cheeks with some colour as she spoke.
"Like what?" Sesshomaru asked shortly and infuriatingly as he gazed intently at his leaping tiger statue. He had not moved since she had awoken and remained on the edge of his bed, claws hanging loosely by his side.
Kikyo tried to find the right words but it was a new topic for her. She had never spoken about sexual things, let alone acted sexually. Surely such intimacy should be conducted in different circumstances- sober, trusting and comfortable circumstances.
"Well…did we…make love?" she asked eventually, feeling foolish and unable to find a more delicate way to ask her question. She half expected Sesshomaru to object to her use of the words "make love", but he did not.
Sesshomaru gave Kikyo a searching look as he responded to her question. In the morning light the spangled yellow tones of his eyes stood out dazzlingly. "No. I had a physician at the banquet look you over and then I brought you back here. I wanted to keep an eye on you, so I placed you in my bed. You asked me to stay next to you, so I obliged," Sesshomaru said, still holding a rather sombre disposition.
Kikyo allowed herself to relax with relief. She cherished her virginity and she would have been mortified to have lost it under the influence of poison, even if the act was with Sesshomaru, a demon she cared deeply for. Feeling considerably lighter in mood, Kikyo turned her attention to Sesshomaru's moody expression: something was clearly troubling him.
Kikyo placed her porcelain hand on Sesshomaru's arm, her wrist wreathed in crumpled purple silk. "Whats wrong Sesshomaru? You look troubled."
A gentle crease furrowed the dog demons brow. "Forgive me," the dog demon said. Kikyo immediately felt alarm and worries began to flap like bats in her mind. Had something else happened at the banquet? "Why? What for?"
For the first time that she could recall, Sesshomaru looked angry and slightly ashamed of himself. "I should have realised that something was wrong. It was wrong of me to touch you when you were in such a state. I regret it."
So that was why he looked so discontented- he was feeling guilty. His behaviour was a marvel to Kikyo, as Sesshomaru did not strike her as a demon that would openly admit to any mistakes. He was a demon that rarely made mistakes. Even though he was a brutal, illustrious entity at times, he still had a noble way about him. His view that he had touched her in an immoral way had pushed him into self- reproach and his reticent mask had slipped slightly. His concern over her welfare warmed Kikyo's heart and she felt a rush of fondness for the dog demon. She leaned forward so she could trace her cold fingers along Sesshomaru's warm jaw.
"Look at me Sesshomaru," Kikyo said softly. Sesshomaru reluctantly flicked his eyes her way.
"It wasn't your fault, I didn't notice any poison or sense any foul play either. I trust you. And the things that we did together... I-well-I wanted them to happen eventually," Kikyo smiled wanly at Sesshomaru. "Perhaps not quite like last night. But I did want you. I do want you," Kikyo told him breathlessly.
Her body was thrumming with nerves as she said it and she was aware that with Sesshomaru, it was a gamble to speak so truthfully about her feelings. Sesshomaru had rejected her before. But she was marginally more confident that he would spurn her no longer. Sesshomaru had displayed an unbridled lust for her, and had sought to protect her when discovering the poison, all in the space of one evening. And he was with her now, had stayed by her side all night.
Before she could overthink it, Kikyo tipped herself towards Sesshomaru and pressed her lips against his mouth. She braced herself for some sort of protest, but none came. Sesshomaru eagerly wrapped an arm around Kikyo and they kissed each other deeply for several long moments. Kikyo realised that no more of her advances would be rebuffed, there would be no further repudiation about their relationship. Finally, they were able to be together and accept each other.
Kikyo nestled into Sesshomaru's chest, feeling a calm happiness spread through her. She had not felt so content for a long time.
"Sesshomaru?" Kikyo said, her voice muffled against his kimono. Sesshomaru grunted a taciturn reply to show that he was listening. "Does this mean that you and I are lovers?"
"There seems to be no point in denying it now," Sesshomaru said in his aristocratic voice.
Kikyo shook her head and frowned in doubt, she pulled away and fixed Sesshomaru with a serious eye.
"You must understand Sesshomaru, I cannot have children. And there will always be those that will disagree with our union. I cannot give you a normal life, if that is what you are looking for."
Sesshomaru raised one slim eyebrow when he saw Kikyo's earnest gaze. "I have a daughter in Rin. Having children does not concern me," Sesshomaru answered dismissively, his arm still slung loosely around her shoulders.
A relieved and effulgent smile lit up Kikyo's pale face. Maybe she could not have children of her own, but Rin was very dear to her. Their time together with Rin had been short, but already Kikyo felt like she and Rin were building a strong friendship. If Rin came back and accepted Kikyo, Kikyo could become a guardian to her and …perhaps- over time- Rin would regard Kikyo as a sister, even as a mother!
"I think…I think I want to get Rin back to us. She has been at Inuyasha's for so long. We should bring her home. We could even fetch her today," Kikyo suggested, returning her attention back to her messy hair.
Sesshomaru gently grasped Kikyo's arms to pull her closer to him, his eyes were golden fire. "Or we could have this day to be alone," Sesshomaru said in a suggestive velvet voice that made Kikyo's spine tremble with fear and desire. He kissed Kikyo again, a little harder this time. There was something carnal locked in his eyes and in his touch.
Their lakeside liaison had kindled an unquenchable desire in Sesshomaru's skin, their tryst was unfinished business to the dog demon. Now that Sesshomaru was certain that there was no distress or ill-will from Kikyo following their passionate, disinhibited fumble, he was keen to catch Kikyo in a clear-headed embrace. Sesshomaru continued to kiss Kikyo urgently, then buried his face into the cradle of her neck. Kikyo shuddered at the new sensation of holding Sesshomaru so intimately.
Kikyo had not fully comprehended the full force of the dog demon's lust for her. It startled her a little, such adult feelings were still so new to her. Kikyo kissed Sesshomaru back roughly, she was quite as desirous as he was, and every kiss was not enough to quell the want inside her. But a small nervous panic fluttered in her chest. She had never been touched with such passion as Sesshomaru touched her with now. Sesshomaru's claws moved from her arms to delicately cup her breasts. He placed feather-light kisses on her slim neck. Kikyo's breath hitched as she clutched at Sesshomaru's broad shoulders.
Kikyo wanted him badly. But her head still throbbed from the poison and every touch felt heated but rushed. Too rushed. Kikyo wanted to savour every caress, every press of his lips. After last night, Sesshomaru's determination to touch her felt hasty.
Kikyo slipped her fingers over Sesshomaru's chest, tactfully pushing the dog demon away slightly. "Sesshomaru…wait…maybe we should wait," Kikyo gasped, as the last lingering kiss landed on her collarbone.
Sesshomaru dislodged himself from Kikyo's body with heavy reluctance. When he looked up, his eyes were tinged with a pinkish glow. A sure sign of his building arousal.
"What is it?" Sesshomaru asked sharply, looking disappointed.
"I think we should wait a while to be together, like we were last night," Kikyo said.
Sesshomaru gave Kikyo a dead-pan look and the lust leeched from his face quickly. "You are upset about last night."
Kikyo gathered up Seshsomaru's claws in her hands, willing him to understand what she meant. She had to convey her meaning, she did not want to undo the closeness that they had just achieved. "No! No I'm not, I swear to you. But…last night was such a blur. When we do make a love, I want it to be special. And besides, I cannot age and you do not age, we have all the time in the world to be together."
"Sesshomaru looked back at Kikyo blankly. "Special?"
Kikyo smiled her radiant smile and nodded. Sesshomaru looked away, hiding his confusion. Kikyo felt guilty for dampening his excitement so wholly, but she knew it would build up again. And this time they would be in control.
Kikyo kissed Sesshomaru's striped cheek contentedly, and some of the stoicness left Sesshomaru's rigid face.
Remembering how dishevelled she looked, Kikyo mussed her tangled hair. "I must wash. And then, if you wish, we could go and fetch Rin today," Kikyo said. Sesshomaru nodded his head silently. Kikyo supposed that now they were together she would need to get used to Sesshomaru's bouts of silence, but she did not mind. She had never felt so perfectly happy. To have Sesshomaru by her side filled her with such golden joy she was amazed her skin was not glowing with it.
With Sesshomaru escorting her, Kikyo got up and padded to the dog demon's bath house. Once there the steaming water was ready like it had been waiting for her.
"Oh! I left my priestess clothes outside your mother's palace!" Kikyo said suddenly, her hand over her mouth.
Sesshomaru stared at her, bemused. "Why?"
"I had to, so I could sneak into the party unnoticed and find you. This kimono has poisoned wine all over the hem and sleeves," Kikyo groaned unhappily, showing Sesshomaru the claret stains on the beautiful silk of her kimono. The kimono was expensive and delicate, the wine was likely to have ruined the dress beyond repair.
Sesshomaru looked at the mish-mash of red and purple fabric. "I will find another spare servant kimono for now. When I find Jaken I will task him to commission several dresses for you, in whatever colours you want."
Kikyo smiled brightly, surprised and touched by Sesshomaru's thoughtfulness. "Thank you Sesshomaru. I've never owned more than one or two priestess robes before, so to own more than that would be wonderful." Sesshomaru nodded curtly.
Kikyo began to untie her besmirched kimono, sitting on the edge of the bath. She was oddly relieved and disappointed when Sesshomaru turned and walked out of the bathhouse, giving her privacy. Perhaps her request to wait to have sex had caused Sesshomaru to feel unsure of what level of physical affection she wanted.
Kikyo lifted herself into the bath and dropped into the water like a stone. Relishing the anticipation of being clean and free of wine stains. There was still no soap or herbs, not even a piece of cloth floating around for her to use, only the rising steam. Could she change that now? Ask Sesshomaru to get Jaken to arrange for some items to be set up for her?
Kikyo settled her elbows on the sweating stones that served as the edge of the bath. Her ebony hair floated behind her like a dark fishtail. The shift in her relationship with Sesshomaru was significant. If she and Sesshomaru were now openly lovers, she would be living here in his castle. With a start she realised that in some ways, she could now be considered the Lady of the western lands! Though they were not married, so perhaps the enormity of that demonic title would not be foisted upon her.
Kikyo sighed, their conversation had been so brief, but Sesshomaru's love would completely change life as she knew it. Kikyo lay her head in the crook of her elbow, thinking.
'I hope Sesshomaru has not misunderstood my intentions or feelings towards him. I long to be close to him, but we have an immeasurable amount of time to nurture that closeness, I do not want those feelings to pass by in the blink of an eye,' she mused.
As she had some privacy, Kikyo discreetly called to her soul collectors and absorbed souls as she bathed. Once she was clean she sat naked on the edge of the bath so her skin could dry slowly, hiding her breasts and midriff from view with her thick, glistening hair.
Her pose startled Sesshomaru as he reentered the bath house with another roughly made, dark blue cotton kimono clutched in his claws. He passed the kimono to Kikyo whilst painstakingly avoiding looking at her, like looking at her directly would be as dangerous as gazing at the sun.
Kikyo took the kimono from him ruefully, disappointed by Sesshomaru's newfound wariness. Once Rin had returned to them and they were settled, she could erase this doubt from his mind.
Kikyo dressed in the familiar scratchy blue kimono, regretfully folding her exquisite silk kimono, deciding she would try at least to get it clean.
Once she was clean, Kikyo and Sesshomaru strode out into the gardens, ready to make their way to Inuyasha's village. Kikyo looked over at the willow trees fondly- they would always be special to her now. It was a beautiful morning, the sun was piercingly bright, set in a sky of perfect azure blue. It was a day so fine it perfectly mirrored her ebullience.
Beaming, Kikyo held her hand out to Sesshomaru and he took it. Sesshomaru drew her close to him and clouds poured from under his feet. Kikyo remembered when they had first travelled like this, how awkward both of them had felt. Now Kikyo reached up to hold on with no nerves whatsoever. As they traversed the sky, Kikyo found that she enjoyed skudding across the clouds, viewing the patchwork green quilt of the land below her, threaded with the blue of rivers and decorated with the brown box shapes of huts. When it grew colder, as it always did after a time, Sesshomaru's moko moko wrapped around her shoulders and kept her warm. She felt like some sort of mistress of the skies.
Following his nose, Sesshomaru headed for a meadow on the outskirts of Inuyasha's village. Pink carnellias, deep purple violets and cerise primroses coloured the meadow, spreading their floral scents on the air.
Rin was in the meadow picking flowers, just like Kikyo would have done as a child. A bored and moody looking Inuyasha watched over her, a splash of red amidst the purples and pinks. It was the sowing season for summer rice, and everyone else was out in the rice paddies.
Inuyasha looked up in alarm when he saw Kikyo and Sesshomaru. It must have looked bizarre to Inuyasha, seeing them alight from the sky together.
The ground was surprisingly muddy underneath all of the flowers when they landed. Kikyo grabbed Sesshomaru to avoid sinking in the black mess. The sky around them was a pale canvas of periwinkle, though in the distance, grey and black clouds rumbled.
"I was wondering when you two would show up," Inuyasha grumbled as Rin gave a whoop of delight behind him. Rin ran up to Sesshomaru and hugged his midriff delightedly. She was a teenager now and taller than she used to be. Her brown hair was longer now and fanned out around her face, brushing the edges of her yellow kimono. "Lord Sesshomaru! I'm so pleased to see you! I'm sorry I disobeyed you and did not come to the village straight away. I was just so worried."
"It's fine Rin. But do not do it again," Sesshomaru said snippily, giving Rin an awkward pat on the head. Rin gave Sesshomaru a sheepish look, then turned to embrace Kikyo.
Inuyasha watched the exchange with agitation. "So have those demons trying to kill you shown their ugly faces yet?"
Kikyo shook her head, still hugging Rin to her. "No, not yet. We've come to take Rin home," Kikyo said. Rin nearly bowled Kikyo over in her excitement at this news.
"Really? You mean it?" she cried happily, dropping the flowers she had collected.
"What, now? I thought you were worried about Rin getting targeted in this war you're having? And what about what Kaede said, about having human role models?"
Rin stopped jumping for joy and fixed Kikyo with an almost shrewd look. "Are you going to send me back here again?" Kikyo gave the teenager a reassuring, heart warming smile.
"No Rin, I'll look after you," she turned to Inuyasha, "was I not human once Inuyasha? It is not fair to keep dragging Rin from place to place. I will protect her." Rin sighed happily and hugged Kikyo's waist.
Inuyasha faltered for a moment and then nodded. Sesshomaru noticed that Kikyo had an unusual amount of authority over Inuyasha. He deferred to her wishes almost without question, completely certain in her cleverness and wisdom. Perhaps even Kaede would have relented to her sister's wishes.
Inuyasha gave a sudden scoff of disbelief, glaring at his brother. "I still can't believe your secret priestess was Kikyo, you should have told me!" Inuyasha burst out, his chest puffing and his course, sea-salt hair flying.
Sesshomaru gave his brother a pitying look. "I did not keep anything from you Inuyasha, that was your business to know," he countered haughtily, his lemon coloured eyes flashed dangerously. Inuyasha said nothing for a moment, looking surly and argumentative, but not quite brave enough to argue with Sesshomaru further. Sesshomaru was like a crocodile, still and stone faced one moment, snapping and snarling the next.
"So..if the spider and those other demons haven't been trying to kill you, then where are they?"
Sesshomaru looked over to the village huts, his silver hair swirling around him. "I haven't sensed them for a few days now. An attack could happen at any time."
"I strongly believe Hokai was behind the poison attack at your mother's banquet," Kikyo said to Sesshomaru with certainty.
Inuyasha looked between them both with confusion, though his eyes stayed mainly on Kikyo. "You were at a demon banquet? And got poisoned? What happened there?"
Kikyo told Inuyasha about the poison they had all unwittingly drank. She, of course, left out her lakeside entanglement with Sesshomaru. Kikyo avoided Inuyasha's gaze as she spoke, feeling strangely guilty. Sesshomaru stood silently next to her, looking bored.
"So what happened? Did the poison not work or something?" Inuyasha asked with interest, trying to make sense of Kikyos's story.
Kikyo gave a troubled shrug. "We don't know exactly. But I have a bad feeling about the poisoner's motives."
The poisoning had been hovering in the back of her mind, she had already subconsciously started to try and unravel this mystification. It must have been Hokai, who else would be brazen enough, feel secure enough, to pull such a trick on Sesshomaru's mother?
But Inuyasha was right, apart from everyone acting faintly ridiculous, nothing dastardly had been achieved by poisoning those at the banquet.
"You should bring the fight to them. Enough of this trap and hide bullshit," Inuyasha grunted after a few moments of silence. Kikyo thought about this as she stroked Rin's cowlick hair. They had rarely pursued their enemies head on, lately they had been forced into defending themselves. She could feel in her magicked bones that their conflict was coming to an end. But to end it their way, they had to seek out their foes.
Kikyo turned to a distracted looking Sesshomaru, renewed determination filling her.
"Inuyasha is right, we should find them and finish this. It's time. And if we go after them now there would be no real danger to Rin coming home."
Inuyasha shook his head stubbornly. "Sesshomaru and I can end this. You should look after Rin, protect her whilst we fight,"Inuyasha suggested forcefully.
Kikyo gave Inuyasha an impatient look, expecting Sesshomaru to protest, or at least dismiss such an absurd idea. But to her surprise, Sesshomaru nodded his agreement with Inuyasha. Kikyo looked at the brothers in outrage and bafflement. "I don't agree to that, "she said sharply, clutching Rin hard.
Sesshomaru squinted at Kikyo with a stony look that said she should not argue. "Yes Kikyo."
"No! I'm not being left behind, this is my fight too. Do you know the most effective time that we fought Tsumetai? When I went and found him myself and sealed him with my arrow. You need my assistance,"Kikyo exclaimed furiously.
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow at her. "An arrow you were later forced to remove to save some children," he reminded her bluntly.
"It's different now. We know about Mikata and Hokai," Kikyo said in agitation, beginning to pace back and forth. She spoke with less conviction however, seeing the flaw in her usefulness and knowing how Sesshomaru would respond.
Sesshomaru interrupted her dourly.
"Hokai knew about your weakness then and it still stands now. If one of them is sealed and the others are still alive, they will use that knowledge and kidnap children to manipulate you. They could try and take Rin to force your hand," Sesshomaru growled.
"But I…we could plan more carefully…" Kikyo bleated weakly. Sesshomaru was right. When she had sealed Tsumetai- it seemed an age ago now- Hokai had known exactly how to play on her emotions by threatening children. The spider could pluck a child from any village to force her to remove her sealing arrow. The trio would have to be killed outright. Together.
But she was unhappy at the thought of being left behind, like she was some damsel in distress.
Sesshomaru shook his head, clearly fed up with arguing. "I don't care what you think Kikyo, I won't risk you in a battle. And you've just said you would take care of Rin. You can't do both," Sesshomaru said waspishly.
Rin, who had been watching the exchange worriedly, burst into a flurry of scalding tears. "I'm sorry to be such a burden," Rin howled miserably. Kikyo knelt down, feeling guilty for bickering in front of Rin. "Don't cry Rin, we are just anxious for your safety. I'd never forgive myself if you were hurt by our enemies," Kikyo said in a soothing voice, looking into Rin's tearful brown eyes.
"I trust you lady Kikyo. I know you'd protect me if anything happened. And we have Ah-Un and Jaken," Rin said earnestly, wiping her eyes. Kikyo stared at Rin's sweet, youthful face and knew her norm of fighting demons and running around the countryside had changed. Now that Kikyo and Sesshomaru were lovers and had decided to bring her home- everything was different now. Like she had protected the shikon no tama, she would now protect Rin.
Kikyo smiled, stroking Rin's watery cheek, "I promise I'll always protect you Rin"
Kikyo and Rin hugged tightly. Kikyo could feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Rin reminded her in so many ways of Kaede. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru watched the girls hugging and laughing, struggling to prevent smiles from forcing their way on to their faces. Sesshomaru's eyes gleamed with pride. Inuyasha cleared his throat loudly.
"If you pick up their scent when you go looking for them, let me know," Inuyasha said finally, looking directly at his brother.
Sesshomaru did not look thrilled at the idea of fighting alongside Inuyasha, he had never been one to fight in a group or pair, always confident he would be stronger than his opponent. But Sesshomaru's gaze lingered on Kikyo and Rin. This enemy had had full reign for far too long, they must be put down quickly.
"Agreed," Sesshomaru drawled after a long pause.
No longer needing to guard Rin, Inuyasha bid them farewell, telling Rin to say goodbye to Kagome, Sango, Miroku and the children before leaving.
Kikyo could sense that Sesshomaru was keen to be off, but he stood as patiently as he could manage whilst Rin and Kikyo re-picked bright wildflowers in the meadow. Kikyo and Rin sauntered into the village, giggling together and joking, whilst Sesshomaru trailed behind them.
Rin went to say goodbye to her friends, the humans who had cared for her. Kikyo used that time to visit Kaede's memorial shrine. She kneeled and placed the wild flowers at the feet of the monument. A little cloud of sadness always broke over her at the sight of it.
Sesshomaru had opted to follow Kikyo to the gravesite. Kikyo was not surprised by this choice, she knew how much Sesshomaru hated speaking to others. The dog-demon stood farther back, a respectful distance away, watching Kikyo lay her flowers down.
Kikyo arranged her flowers fastidiously, holding back her tears. She missed her sister, and grief mingled strangely with the contented happiness that she had now been blessed with.
"Sleep well Kaede…And don't worry about me, I will not squander this chance I have of being happy," she whispered to the soil beneath her fingertips. Kikyo brushed the stray leaves from her borrowed blue kimono and walked over to Sesshomaru. She wanted comfort and so stood on the tips of her toes and kissed Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru's mouth was warm and loving against her own. When they parted, he stroked her pale cheek with one clawed finger, a small gesture to show his affection and sympathy.
"Let's go home," Kikyo said, her dark hair mingling with Sesshomaru's in the warm wind.