-Chapter 51-
Dropping Bombshells
Marine Pop
"Oh goodness, oh dear!" Sebas cried out as he scurried about the corridors of the Marine Pop, pushing a trolley of sundries. "I can't believe we're out of clean towels! Princess Peach is still unconscious, and Princess Daisy is off Grambi-Knows-Where! Haaaa… well, at the very least, that crazy old man is gone. If he tried to use another one of his crackpot inventions to revive the Princess, my heart would surely burst!"
He made his way to the infirmary doors, pushing them open.
"Hopefully, I won't be getting any more surprises until that brute Tatanga is defeated. That's the last thing I need right…now?"
Sebas stopped in place, his heart about to burst in his chest at the sight he had just witnessed.
"Sebas?" Princess Peach asked, sitting up in her cot, disoriented and confused. "Where are we?"
"P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Princess Peeeheeheeheeeeeeeeach!" he cried out joyously, running toward the newly awakened monarch and tackle-hugging her.
"Oh my!" Peach let out.
"You're finally awake! Oh, thank Grambi! Thank Eldstar! Thank Brighton, Twila, and all the Stars in the skyyyyhaihaiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
"Sebas, please! Calm down!" Peach urged sternly but gently.
"Ah!" Sebas released her before frantically regaining his proper butler composure. "Forgive my breach of decorum, Your Highness." He bowed. "These past few days have been… trying, to say the least."
"Days!?" Peach cried out.
Sebas nodded. "Indeed, we nearly thought your game had ended."
"The last thing I remember was the four kings being brainwashed by Tatanga… then Daisy…" Her eyes widened. "Oh my goodness, where's Daisy!?"
"Calm down, Your Highness," Sebas soothed. "Your sister is in good hands, I assure you."
"Sebas, just what has been going on?"
"Right, let me make you some tea, you've a lot to catch up on," he said as he headed out the door, leaving Peach alone.
"Seems we've found ourselves in another adventure," she sighed. "Well, if nothing else, Mario and Luigi are with her. They shouldn't be in too much trouble."
Chai Kingdom
"ZOMBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!"
Mario, Luigi, and Daisy were in the midst of fleeing from a horde of Jyamp-shi.
As they passed a bamboo shoot, Mario stopped, grabbing it and bending it back. As the Jyamp-shi approached, he let it loose, slinging it into them and knocking them back… only the top halves, though, as the bottom halves kept walking toward them.
"Oh ewww!" Daisy cried out. "That is so nasty!"
"Come on, let's make tracks before they pull themselves together!" Mario urged as they resumed their flight, being chased by running legs and crawling torsos.
"Mamma Mia!" Luigi cried out. "They just don't quit! How do you destroy what's already dead?!"
Daisy shut her eyes, trying to remember what little she'd paid attention to in her Social Studies classes on Chai Kingdom monsters. "Oh! Holy relics! O-Or Star Power!" Her good mood immediately deflated. "...which we don't have right now."
"And since we're fresh out of both, all we can do is run!" Mario pointed out. "Quick, let's head that way!" He pointed to a patch of shrubbery. "Maybe we can lose them in the–!"
Before he could finish, a trio of Jyamp-shi jyamp…er leaped out, hissing and moaning, claws outstretched.
"AHHHHHHHHHH! More zombies!" Luigi squealed as one of them lunged at him.
"Back away from my brother, ya reeking rotter!"
Mario ducked under one before coming up with a powerful uppercut, knocking a Jyamp-shi into the air... and its head clean off. He blinked. "That's... not what I meant to do."
"Now I wish Ma didn't make us throw out all those zombie movies," Luigi fretted. "I could use a reference guide right now."
"Easy, don't let them bite you," Daisy instructed. "If they do, you'll catch zombie fever and die."
"Thanks for that," Luigi replied dryly. "I was trying to find a way to avoid sleeping tonight."
"And then, you'll come back as a zombie!" Daisy added.
"Definitely not sleeping tonight!"
"Hey, you asked."
Just then, more Jyamp-Shi began to swarm, coming out of the bamboo and surrounding them from all sides.
"This... just might be the end of the Super Mario Bros," Mario remarked.
"It's Game Over, man!" Luigi cried. "Game Over! I love you, bro! Before we die, I just wanna say... I ate your leftover pasta from last week! I'm sorry! I was just so hungry!"
Just then, there was a loud tap, followed by a soft but audible jingle. At the sound, everyone went silent, wondering what it was and where it was coming from, even the Jyamp-Shi.
"Eh? What was that?" Luigi asked, only for the tap and jingle to resound again.
"Over there!" Mario shouted, pointing toward a dirt road. Heading toward them was a bald man with a beard clad in monk robes, holding a staff with a circular head with several metal rings looped through it. He was the picture of peace and serenity despite the horror and gloom around them. Each time he stepped, his feet barely disturbed the land or made a sound. The only sound he made was when he tapped his staff, causing the rings on his staff to jingle. When he did, the zombies flinched slightly, as if the sound briefly caused them pain.
"What the...?" Luigi let out. "Who's that?"
"I dunno, but he's heading right for us!" Mario said. "Hey, Mister! You need to get out of here! It's not safe!"
"No, it is not," the man replied, his voice deep but soothing. "Especially not for them."
He looked up at the Jyamp-Shi horde, the zombies all directing their empty, soulless gazes at him. They hissed and moaned at the newcomer, but unlike the mindless hunger and relentlessness from before, they seemed to show a hint of…fear.
"Lost souls doomed to wander the mortal plane… let me guide you to your eternal rest."
He raised a hand in front of his face, two fingers raised as he chanted some mantra in Chinese. When he flicked his wrist, several talismans manifested between them. He threw them, and they arched around the heroes, striking several of the Jyamp-shi, who shrieked as they were reduced to golden light.
"Whoa!" Mario let out.
"Mamma Mia, that was incredible," Luigi added.
"He's a Daoshi!" Daisy shouted.
"A what?" Mario asked.
"A monk from the Far East. They use holy power to heal the sick and exorcise evil spirits!"
"Whew! Just what we needed!" Luigi sighed in relief.
The other Jyamp-shi hissed before taking off. The Daoshi waited, making sure they weren't planning another attack before turning to the trio.
"Princess Daisy," the Daoshi greeted. "Then I assume I am in the presence of Mario and Luigi Marionetti?" He paused to think for a moment. " ... or is it Mario?"
"Marionetti?" Daisy asked incredulously.
"Bit of both," Mario replied. "But... how do you know us?"
"Mary Pat sent me."
"Mips!" Luigi cried out, grabbing the monk's robe and shaking him frantically. "She made it!? Where is she!? Did the zombies get her!? Pleeease tell me the zombies didn't get her!"
With one hand, the Daoshi lifted Luigi away, his serene mood not wavering once. "Peace. No harm has come to her. The Koopa King and his children made sure of that."
Mario and Luigi sagged in relief.
"Quickly, we must go. The Jyamp-shi will soon return in greater numbers."
"Right," Mario agreed. "Lead the way."
The Daoshi nodded before leading the trio back the way he came, still ringing his staff.
"So..." Mario began. "Molto grazie (1) for your help, Mister...errrr…"
"I forsook my name when I entered the order," the monk explained. "You may simply call me Daoshi."
"Oh, okay, Mr...Daoshi."
"Just Daoshi."
"Er, right."
"Just what was that just now?" Luigi asked. "You just threw those pieces of paper, and the zombies went FWOOSH!"
"The Dao Arts. Specifically, Talismans of Cleansing meant to calm the tainted spirits and allow them to finally know peace."
"Huh…" Luigi nodded. "I think I remember Mips talking about that in one of those Chinese stories she likes."
"But... How can there be Chinese holy magic in the Mushroom World?" Mario asked.
"Who is to say our magic did not influence your adopted home? Or vice-versa?" Daoshi asked cryptically. "It is not for us to question, only to accept that we do not know."
"But I..."
"Mario, is this really the best time?" Daisy cut in.
"Right… deal with Hua and Tatanga first. Question shared magic later."
"Actually," Daoshi began. "There is one matter you should attend to first. I assume you heard the toll of our grand bell?"
"Oh, boy…" Mario sighed. "Let me guess, that was our sister swearing?"
Daoshi nodded, prompting both Mario Bros. to let out an exasperated groan.
"Oh boy…"
"We are so sorry."
"Seriously, how exactly is it that every time she swears, something happens to drown her out?" Daisy demanded.
"We don't know," Luigi admitted. "It's been like that since we were kids."
"It started when she was… five, I think?" Mario shrugged. "She stubbed her toe and yelled the F-Bomb, which she learned from our Uncle Tony when he took her to his bowling league. Oddly enough, after that day, anytime she swore, something always… 'censored' her."
"It's always something noisy, and it gets louder and more obnoxious the more she does it, or if she's using the really bad words," Luigi commented. "And given how ear-splitting the bell is, I'm guessing she's dropped more than a few F-Bombs."
"Ohhhhh…" Daisy let out nervously. "You don't say?"
"Daoshi, what happened?" Mario asked.
"You will find out once we get to my temple."
"Well, how much further is it?"
BONG!
"We are here."
The group had arrived at an old Eastern-style temple covered in warding papers and other Buddhist religious paraphernalia. Despite being in the middle of a haunted, zombie-infested forest in the middle of the night, it seemed to give off a sense of calm and hope. A spot of peace and brightness in the otherwise dark and chaotic land…
BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BONG-BOOOOOOOOOOONG!
…constantly ringing bell aside.
"Oh boy…" Daisy let out.
"Mamma mia...my ears!" Mario cried out, covering his ears with his hands.
"My head!" Luigi screamed, doing the same. "I feel like my head's going to explode!"
Daisy's fists clenched, realizing that MP may very well have found out.
"Just what happened that she's swearing this much?" Mario asked.
"Go inside and you will learn." Daoshi's eye twitched ever so slightly, but he otherwise maintained his composure perfectly. "Preferably before she brings the place down."
They hurried in just in time for the bells to stop. MP was hunched over on the ground, panting hard while keeping her head between her knees and hugging her legs. It was something they learned when trying to deal with panic attacks, which had the brothers worried. The Koopalings were working to comfort her, though Lemmy was hard at work taping tiny pieces of paper together for some reason. Minmei had taken Nankin to the side, a hand on his shoulder.
"Mips...?" Luigi let out softly.
"Huh!?" she perked, turning to see them there. "Lu! Mario!"
She rushed toward them, throwing her arms around them. The two returned the hug in kind.
"I'm so glad you're alright," Mario let out.
"Same," MP replied. "And you? You're okay? No bites? Spider or zombie?"
"Nah," Mario shook his head."We had a few close calls, but we're good."
"Turns out the spider guys were just hungry and needed a way to get food," Luigi explained. "They'd captured a whole bunch of people, but Daisy saved them, and she and Trompal worked out a peace treaty so they don't have to kidnap and eat people anymore."
MP went stiff. "Right... Daisy. That's…"
Looking over her brothers' shoulders, MP saw Daisy hanging in the back. Their eyes locked.
"Uh-oh…" Daisy whispered, realizing she could no longer hide.
"One sec." Slowly, MP let go of her brothers, then began to take off her suit one piece at a time.
"Hey… Mips," Daisy greeted nervously. "H-how's it...?"
"Zitto, (2)" she snapped coldly, silencing Daisy and causing her to flinch. "Only close friends and family call me that. To you, I'm Mary Pat. You lost any right to call me Mips after what you've done."
"Mips, what are you talking about?" Mario asked.
MP tossed the last piece of her suit into a pile, going so far as to remove her Thwomp Stompers.
"Do me a favor," she cautioned. "Get those away from me."
The Koopalings pulled the suit pieces away. With that, MP began to slowly walk toward Daisy, who was fighting with everything she had not to turn and run. As soon as she was right in her face, MP let her calm demeanor drop, letting out a furious growl before plowing a powerful haymaker right into Daisy's jaw, knocking the princess flat on her back.
"Daisy!" Luigi cried.
"Mips, what the hell!?" Mario demanded. "What was that about?!"
"I'll tell you what it's about," MP spat. "This entire time, Kerry and the other Koopa I've collected have been warning me about this new bill that passed. Something that makes life a living hell for them… and I just got to see the official document."
Lemmy handed MP the taped-up paper, which she promptly shoved into Daisy's arms just as she pulled herself back up.
"Read it. Read what you did, what you signed."
Daisy slowly looked down at the paper with shaking hands, mouthing the words silently. MP scowled.
"So they can hear you."
Daisy swallowed hard. "'The... the Koopa Initiative. Effective immediately, the citizenship and sentient rights of all Koopa within the Sarasaland borders are hereby... Revoked. They are to be considered…'" She was turning pale as she read, "'...considered livestock...and...rounded up for... containment…' Grambi, I'm gonna be sick…"
She went completely white as her eyes fell on the end of the document; right at the bottom, clear as day, was her signature in her handwriting.
"'As declared by... Princess... Daisy... Toadstool.'"
The entire room went silent, Mario and Luigi looking at Daisy as if she had grown three heads and a tail.
"...What?!" Mario demanded.
"No... it... it can't be..." Luigi shook his head. "Daisy... you didn't!"
"Oh, she did."
Bowser entered the room, Professor E. Gadd following close behind him.
"Hello, boys," the Professor greeted fearfully. He then turned to Daisy. "Princess…"
"Professor…" Daisy let out. "I…"
"Not now." E. Gadd held up a hand, his voice tinged with disappointment and fear. "Please… not now."
As E. Gadd went to join the other heroes, the Koopalings gathered around their father, who approached Daisy. The ground shook with each step he took. Thick plumes of smoke billowed from his nostrils. His fists were clenched, and he looked every bit like the demon king he was. Behind him, all of the Koopalings were glaring at Daisy. Even Lemmy looked unnaturally serious.
The paper fell from Daisy's hands. She was visibly shaken, for she knew exactly what was going through Bowser's head right now.
"Get both sides of the story, remember!?" she pleaded, turning to MP. "What about mine?!"
"It's why I'm not ripping your head off as we speak. So tell me, Princess, why did you sign this bill? Does your hatred for Koopas run this deep? Why would you strip them of their citizenship?!"
"No! Hua tricked me! I didn't know what it was!"
"What do you mean you didn't-?!" MP paused, the gears in her head turning as the words finally registered. "You didn't…and you signed… You signed a bill into law… and you didn't even read it?!"
The silence that followed spoke volumes.
"Oh my God, you actually did…"
"No…" Daisy shook her head. "I can't believe I was so…"
"Stupid?" Bowser suggested, his tone harsh and cold. "Ignorant? Uncaring? Take your pick."
MP looked utterly dumbfounded, blown away by this revelation. She let out a mirthless, disbelieving laugh as she stumbled backward, leaning against the wall. She almost looked like she was having some sort of mental breakdown.
"How the-" Bong! "-did you keep power for so long?! How is Sarasaland not a wasteland?!"
"Hua was my biggest supporter! She always had my back! I trusted her, and she duped me!"
MP just laughed again, shaking her head as she walked toward Daisy.
"Oh, you ignorant, stupid woman. She wasn't your supporter. She never had your back. She took one look at you and recognized that you were an incompetent idiot who she could manipulate. You're a tool to her, and you were so good at your job that she's nearly ended the games of EVERY SINGLE KOOPA IN SARASALAND!"
By now, it was Daisy who had her back to the wall, staring up at the furious Mary Pat. The Mario sister jabbed her finger into the Princess' sternum harshly.
"This travesty may be on Hua's head, but your negligence made it possible." She lowered her hand, scoffing slightly. "And to think... I was actually starting to warm up to you."
Daisy was on the verge of tears at this point. "I fooked up, okay?! I know that! I'm sorry…"
Hearing that, Bowser let out a snarl.
"Sorry?! No, no, no." He took a thundering step forward. "'Sorry' is when you accidentally step on someone's foot at the movie theater. 'Sorry' is when you ask someone, 'Hey, when's the baby due?', and it turns out the person's just fat! Permitting slavery and genocide because you were too damn lazy to read a bill before signing it is as far from 'sorry' as you can possibly get!"
Daisy whirled on him, her horror replaced by rage. "You don't get to lecture me, Bowser! Not after all the horrible shiitake you've done! You let your goons run protection rackets in Toad Town! You bricked people to make houses! You let Elites run roughshod over everyone in their territories and didn't do a thing about it because you were bored! YOU KILLED MY MOM!"
A dead silence followed, everyone looking at Daisy as she panted.
"You what!?" Mario shouted.
"That's right!" Daisy replied tearfully. "A few years ago, my mom's body was found on the edge of our territory. She'd been brutalized, beaten to death. She'd been made to suffer, then was left for the Buzzars! Nobody knew who did it, but she had this huge wound on her chest. A wound from a battleaxe! And the only one who could possibly match her, who uses an axe…" She pointed accusingly at Bowser. "Is you!"
"...Is that what you think?" Bowser asked, his tone oddly subdued. Almost somber.
"Wait…" Luigi began. "That's why you didn't like Koopas? You think they killed Queen Gardenia?"
"I don't think, Luigi. I know."
"You know nothing," Bowser scoffed. "Firstly, I respected the heck out of that woman. She was the one person in your kingdom who didn't see us as monsters. Honestly, she may have been the one person who could have gotten a peace treaty out of us."
Now, it was Daisy's turn to scoff.
"Secondly, it wasn't an axe that killed Gardenia." Bowser let out a long, smokey breath. "It was a mace. The mace belonging to her ultimate rival… Klawdia Vendetta Koopa."
That name caught the Mario Brothers off guard. They'd never heard of this woman, though it sounded like they should have.
"Who… Who's Klawdia?" Mario asked.
Bowser closed his eyes. It almost looked like he was trying not to cry. "My wife."
Mario and Luigi paused, their jaws dropping to the floor. MP just looked at the Koopa King sympathetically, having clearly heard the story already.
"Your wife!?" Mario screamed in disbelief.
"You were married?" Luigi let out.
Bowser gave him a deadpan look. "Where do you think my eight kids came from, Green 'Stache? You think I just popped them out myself like a Yoshisaur? Of course, I was married! And happily so for nearly seventeen wonderful years…"
"What…" Mario began. "What happened to her?"
"She died," MP chimed in, her voice full of sympathy. "Not long after Junior was born. I found out the story while I was recovering, but before I went Blue Hood."
Bowser took a deep breath.
"There was a Virus epidemic. Some new, super-deadly disease. No cure, normal or magic." The Koopa King scrubbed at his face. "Two wars, countless duels, going up against my father… and she was taken out by a damn Virus…"
Daisy perked. "I remember… it wasn't long after Aqua was born. Mom caught it, too. She went out for one last walk, and that's when it…"
"That 'last walk'?" MP spoke up, knowing Bowser needed a minute to compose himself. "It was so she could meet with Klawdia one last time. While she still had the strength."
"Our mom…" Roy clenched his fists. "She refused to die in some sick bed, and when she learned Queen Gardenia was sick too, they made a plan."
"They met on the border of the Dark Lands…" Iggy continued, pulling out an info pad and accessing an archived security video. It was marked as important, with several security measures in place to make sure it never got removed or deleted. "As for what happened… see for yourself."
He turned on the video, showing a woman who looked like an older Peach but with Daisy's hair color. No doubt Gardenia herself. She stood at the gates of the Dark Lands in golden and white armor. The gates open, revealing Klawdia, a blue-skinned Royal Koopa with a mane of pinkish-purple hair in a wild mohawk that trailed into a long ponytail. Wearing silver plate armor on her torso, along with spiky shoulder, elbow, and knee pads (3), the latter looked the Mushroom Queen up and down before snorting.
"Klawdia…" Gardenia greeted calmly.
"Gardie…" Klawdia returned. "Heh! You look like Shiitake." She laughed a bit before breaking out into a coughing fit, hacking up a large globule of shimmering, icy blue phlegm.
Gardenia let out a wry chuckle before coughing a few times.
"Right back at you." Her face fell slightly, only to break out coughing herself. "How bad is it?"
The Koopa Queen let out a wheeze. "Kamek says I'll be lucky if I see Junior's second birthday. You?"
"I'll be lucky to see Aqua's next birthday myself."
"Then that clinches it," Klawdia nodded, pulling a large mace off her back. "If we're gonna die, we're going out roaring, on our feet. What say you, Mushroom Peasant?"
Gardenia smirked, drawing an elegant saber with a fancy Super Mushroom-style hilt from her belt.
"Bring it on, you overgrown Yoshisaur."
The two charged at each other, both of them doing everything in their power to end the other's game. It was a long, brutal fight, but it ended with their respective weapons through the other's chest. MP instinctively covered Junior's eyes at the final blow.
"Dag…nabbit…" Klawdia let out. "Wracked with fever… plagued with chills… lungs filled with so much phlegm you can barely breathe without coughing… and you still… match me…"
Gardenia panted, letting out a cough. "Would you… have settled for… anything less?"
Klawdia chuckled, grinning. "Naw... No stinkin' way…"
"See you... on the other side…" Gardenia managed. "It's been… an honor… Klawdie."
Klawdia nodded. "The honor… was mine, Gardie."
They both fell back, peaceful smiles on their faces as they drew their last breaths.
Iggy lowers the pad, wiping his eye. "Seeing it… never gets any easier."
"I brought Gardenia's body back to your kingdom and left it at the gate," Bowser explained. "She deserved to be buried with her loved ones."
Daisy had an unrecognizable expression on her face, processing everything as a tear escaped her eye.
"So that's how it happened…" she managed. "Mom…"
Bowser nodded, having managed to compose himself. "I'll admit, I let things get out of hand after Klawdia's death. I let the ennui of total victory make me sloppy and let my minions run unchecked. But I never, NEVER disrespected the one warrior in your kingdom who respected us."
Daisy finally looked up, taking a deep breath.
"There's no excuse for what I've done," she declared. "Which is why I won't make any or try to flee from the consequences of my actions."
"Daisy?" Luigi let out.
Daisy stepped forward, her head held high. "King Bowser, when this is over, I'll come with you and accept whatever punishment you decide without a fight. All I ask is that you let me do something right for once. Let me finish this fight. Deal with Madame Hua and Tatanga. Once Sarasaland is safe from them both, I'm all yours. I swear on my mother's soul."
Bowser glared at Daisy, judging and appraising her. "And why shouldn't I just burn you to a crisp right now?"
Daisy winced, trying to think of a reason.
"Because she's not the one you want."
All eyes turned to Luigi as he stepped forward. He was visibly trembling before swallowing and straightening up to look Bowser in the eye. Daisy gaped, not expecting a defense.
"She may have signed the bill, but it wasn't her idea," he continued. "I won't deny Daisy should have read before signing, but what's happening to the Koopas here is on Hua's head, not hers. Ending her game won't fix this, and it won't save your people. Mips says you're a king that cares, and if that's true, you'll go after the real villain here."
"Luigi..." Daisy whispered as everyone looked at Luigi in shock.
"...he's got a point," MP admitted irritably. "Daisy's idiocy made this possible, but this is Hua's fault."
Bowser snarled in response, hating that they were right.
"...Fine," he allowed. "But after Hua is dealt with, the Princess and I are gonna have words." He brandished his claws. "Very pointed ones."
"And Tatanga," Daisy pleaded. "Please… I won't ask for more."
Bowser snarled but acquiesced. "... alright. Hua and Tatanga. But after that, you'll only have one villain to worry about…me."
"I'll deal with Hua. On this, I'm not budging."
Bowser glared at Daisy, but she stood firm.
"I'm the one who signed that damned bill, who enabled this. It's my screwup. My mess to clean up."
"On one condition." Bowser pointed at MP. "She goes with you."
"What!?"
"And she takes this…" At the King's gesture, Iggy held out a powerful fire blaster. "That Fry Guy Flamethrower is loaded with oil and flames harvested directly from my Flame Pipe." Bowser tapped the side of his chest, where a small needle wound sat. "It's the only way you're taking that walking sack of worm food down."
"Are you crazy!? Even with that kind of firepower, Mi...er... Mary Pat is still a kid!"
"I'm seventeen years old, and I'm more responsible than you," MP shot back.
Daisy said nothing. "Yeah... you are."
"Then we're in agreement," Bowser declared.
MP took the Fry Guy Gun from Iggy, suiting back up.
"While they do that, what about Tatanga?" Mario asked.
"His battleship, the Pagosu, is perched atop the highest mountain in Chai," the Daoshi chimed in. "You'll never be able to reach him on foot."
"Right…" Luigi let out, turning to E. Gadd. "I don't suppose you have some kinda flying machine or mod handy?"
"Of course I do!" E. Gadd shouted. "Is what I would like to say…" …only to slump over in defeat. "Sadly, I'm missing several crucial parts to complete the Pop's flight mode: the Sky Pop."
"I might have something that could help," the Daoshi offered. "I was a pilot before I was ordained. Hua confiscated crucial parts of my old biplane when Tatanga arrived, to ensure no one would try to take the fight directly to him."
"Ah! That's wonderful!" the Professor declared, clapping his hands rapidly. "If we get those Crucial Parts, we can use them to finish the Sky Pop and blast Tatanga out of the sky!"
"Where are the Parts?" Mario asked.
"Hua cast it into the deepest part of the Boneyard, from what I remember hearing," Nankin chimed in. "A pit of the dead, where none would dare travel."
"Then that's where we'll go," Mario decided.
"But how are we gonna get it back to the Pop?" Luigi asked.
That's when a radio on Gadd's belt squawked.
"Say please," an all too familiar voice chimed in.
Everyone suddenly perked up in shock.
"Peach!?" Daisy shouted. "How did…? When did…? How long have you…!?" She winced in dread and shame. "How much have you…?"
"I heard everything," Peach went on. "Sebas and I can bring the Pop on land. I may not be up for combat, but I can still drive."
"Just hearing your voice is enough for me," Mario replied enthusiastically.
Daisy sighed. "Peach... I… I am so sorry. I screwed up so bad. Mom is probably rolling in her grave right now."
"You made a mistake," Peach soothed. "What matters now is fixing it before things get worse."
"Mario, Luigi," Minmei began. "If you two plan to go to the Boneyard, you'll need this." She held out a talisman engraved with a yin and yang symbol. "It's imbued with my father's Stellar Magic. It will protect you from the Jyamp-shi and other evil spirits."
"Ooooooh…" Mario let out, taking the charm. "This will come in handy."
"Any chance we could keep it… forever?" Luigi asked.
"No," Daoshi replied with a smile.
"Ohhhhh…" Luigi slumped over in defeat.
As everyone prepared to go, Mario and Bowser exchanged looks.
"Just to make things perfectly clear, this doesn't change anything," the Koopa King informed him. "We're not friends, and I'm only here to clean up my old man's mess and save what Koopas are left here. Once this is over, it's back to business as usual."
Mario nodded. "I wouldn't expect anything less."
"Ahem!" All eyes turned to E. Gadd. "Well... this has been an... exciting day, to say the least, but we should probably get some rest. We're about to invade a hostile foreign power, fight a horde of undead, and stop an alien invasion, after all."
"We can't," MP insisted, adjusting the parts of her suit. "We've wasted enough time as is."
"She's right," Mario pointed out. "Every minute that passes, more Koopas suffer, and Tatanga and Hua build up more forces. If we're gonna do this, we need to do it now."
"Hrrrrm... very well," E. Gadd let out dejectedly. "So much for my research…"
"Alright," Mario began. "Lu and I will go get the last part from the Boneyard. Then, we'll rendezvous with Peach and Sebas when they bring in the Road Pop. While we do that, Mips, Daisy, and the Koopas will go after Hua. Then, we all man an all-out assault on Tatanga!"
"And blast his purple ass back into space!" Daisy shouted.
"Yeah! WOO!" Luigi hopped and cheered, only to notice nobody else was doing it, so he meekly backed down.
"Well, it's now or never," Mario continued. "Let's-a go!"
As they readied to go, Daisy turned to the Daoshi.
"For what it's worth… I'm sorry," she said softly. "I let Hua play me like a fiddle. If I'd known how bad things were here…"
"You're here and solving the problem now, Princess," the Daoshi assured. "That is what matters."
Chai Castle
High in the highest spire of Chai Castle, in the dimly lit throne room against the backdrop of foggy, purple skies and the crimson Blood Moon, an undead sorceress-turned-empress and a general of another world sat and had tea.
"So… they've finally arrived," said Madame Hua, taking a sip of disturbingly red liquid as Tatanga sat across from her. "Mario and Luigi... They've really become quite an inconvenience for us, haven't they, General?"
"That they have, Empress," the Kaiuchuu General replied, using some chopsticks to dip a gyoza into some sauce. "They're likely heading here as we speak." He leaned in closer. "And apparently, Bowser and his Koopalings are with them."
Hua paused, her eyes narrowing. "Morton's baby boy…" Her hands trembled as she clutched her cup. "So, he's discovered my plan as well." Hua's breathing grew sharper as the mist of her Biokinton cloud billowed off her in eerie, ghostly tendrils.
"Worried, Madame Hua?" Tatanga asked worriedly.
"No…" the Empress replied. "If anything, I'm… excited. I've wanted nothing more than to crush that little, yellow upstart like a bug from the moment his egg left his accursed mother's womb! And now…" With a clatter, Hua's cup shattered to pieces in her fist. "I get to end his game and his children's too."
Hua snickered evilly, looking at her gnarled hands with their sharp fingernails, her palms decorated with cuts and gashes that dripped with blue, long-spoiled blood.
"Finally…" she continued. "My long years of suffering will come to an end!"
"And what do you propose we do, Empress?" Tatanga asked.
"You, General, are going back to your ship and dealing with those pesky plumbers," Hua ordered. "While I handle things here. Lo Pei!" At her command, her attendant manifested at her side. "Bring forth the prisoners."
"Shì de, huánghòu! (4)" Lo Pei replied, then turned to the door. "Bring forth the prisoners!"
The doors swung open, allowing a battalion of Jyamp-Shi guards to march into the room. With them were numerous lines of Koopas, all in chains. At the front of one of them was Kerry.
"You won't get away with this, you sack of maggots!" the Scooba Koopa declared defiantly. "The Marios and King Bowser are here, and they're gonna make you wish you were never reanimated!"
"Chénmò! (5)," Hua shouted, slapping him with her Biokinton. "I did not give you permission to speak, you repulsive, disgusting turtle!" She grinned maliciously. "Also… I'm counting on it. I was denied my revenge on King Morton... so the sins of the father will be borne by the son. Bowser and his offspring will pay tenfold for what his father did to me. And you are going to help me do it."
"I'd rather die," Kerry gritted out.
"Good," Hua replied. "Because you are."
Hua raised her hand, prompting her Biokinton to stretch forth and grab Kerry.
"Lo Pei! The Bob-Omb!"
"Lìkè, huánghòu! (6)"
Lo Pei shifted his sleeves, presenting his Empress with a little black Bob-Omb. The sight of which made every Koopa in the room gasp in horror.
"Oh no..." Kerry whispered in dread.
"Oh yes!"
Hua grabbed the Bob-Omb with another Biokinton tendril, holding both it and her Kerry up high, and began chanting.
"KCAB SOIRAM HAEY. YSIAD SSECNIRP YZARC TAHT EVAS OT FFO. TIHSLLUB TUOEKAF SSECNIRP SIHT FO KCIS SEH WON YB."
She flipped Kerry over he was lying on his stomach…
"ETIRPS YPEERC EEW. IGIUL RO YHCAEP SSECNIRP TUOHTIW. .SLLABREPUS SAH EH TUB. DELLAC REYEHT TAHW STAHT ERUS YTTERP."
…then, she rammed the Bob-Omb into his shell, causing them to spark and glow with sickly, purple light on contact, causing Kerry to scream and cry out in pain.
"Oh Grambi! It burns! It freaking buuuuuurrrrns!"
All the while, Hua continued to chant, growing louder and more manic as she did.
"NAM DEWOHS YLRAELC TI! NAM EDOLPXE SELTRUT DID NEHW ECNIS! FFO DEPPORD YTILAUQ EHT! FFOKCONK OIRAM FO DNIK EMOS EKIL!"
The Bob-Omb began to sink into Kerry's shell, melting down as it seemed to fuse with it.
"DNAAAAAAAAAAAAAL O-I-RAM REP-US!"
There was a bright flash, forcing everyone in the room to shield their eyes. When the light settled, Madame Hua stood, grinning wickedly.
"DEKCUS," she let out, finishing her chanting as she dropped Kerry, revealing her handiwork.
The Koopa's blue shell had become black and shiny, as if it were made of metal, and sticking out of the center was a short, white fuse. His transformation into a Bombshell had been completed.
"You… You won't get away with this…" he let out, despite the exhaustion and pain. "Lord Bowser is coming for you, and I promise you, you'll be dead by dawn. And once you are, I'll be waiting for you in the Underwhere."
"Do give my regards to Queen Jaydes when you go there, will you?" Hua waved mockingly before turning to the rest of the terrified Koopas, grinning and bearing her fangs. "Now… Who'sssssss next?"
Author's Note:
(1): Much thanks.
(2): Shut up.
(3): Based on Bowser's armor as Hammer Slam Bowser in Skylanders: SuperChargers
(4): Yes, mistress!
(5): Silence!
(6): Right away, mistress!
So, the truth about Bowser's wife and Peach and Daisy's mother has been revealed, as are the full details of the bill Hua duped Daisy into signing. Next chapter, the fight to free Chai from Madame Hua and Sarasaland itself from Tatanga begins.
And yes, we actually commented on MP's censorship gag. There's an actual reason for why it happens, which will be revealed in due time. As for the Daoshi being a pilot, that takes from the manga I mentioned in last chapter's Author's Notes; the Sky Pop belonged to him there.
Voice cast for this chapter:
* Gardenia - Jennifer Hale (female Commander Shepard in Mass Effect, Felicia Hardy/Black Cat in Spider-Man: The Animated Series, Naomi Hunter in Metal Gear Solid, current voice of Disney's Cinderella, Sam and Mandy in Totally Spies!, Jean Grey in X-Men '97)
* Klawdia - Colleen Clinkenbeard (Gagaran in Overlord, Inner Moka in Rosario + Vampire, Riza Hawkeye in Fullmetal Alchemist, Monkey D. Luffy in One Piece's Funimation dub, Erza Scarlet in Fairy Tail, Kid Gohan from Dragon Ball Z Kai onward, Akito Sohma in Fruits Basket 2019, Yuko Ichihara in Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle)
Please R&R. Until next time!