Chapter 20 – The WORST Therapist
Chinatsu's POV
OH, GOD! That…was…the ROUGHEST night I've ever been through! What the hell was I thinking?! Getting on the bed and sleeping next to Kyoko! I nearly lost it when I turned my back towards her!
These feelings…I've already accepted them…but they're making me act like a ditzy girl in a rom-com anime! If this keeps up, I might do something I REALLY would regret!
But…what am I supposed to do? I can't just force these feelings onto her. Not after all she's been through most of her life.
…
Plus…there was that thing I said earlier…
"…This is my chance to finally prove that I'm better than you. If I beat you in grades, then Yui would FINALLY notice my feelings for her. And my dream can finally come true~…of us being the prince and princess of the bright moonlit sky~. *flirtatious giggle*"
GAAAAH! Why did I say that?! Now she totally thinks I'm still in love with Yui! I can't retract a bold claim like that!
Stupid!
Stupid!
Stupid!
STUPID!
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Chinatsu! What are you doing banging on the wall?! Get out of the shower already!"
"Ah! S-Sorry, Sis! I-I'm coming out now!"
*sigh* I gotta stop inner monologuing in the shower…
With all of that still rummaging through my mind, I exited the shower, got dressed into casual clothes, and was now sitting in front of the mirror in my room twiddling with my let-down hair.
I've been experimenting with different hairstyles lately. Mainly thanks to Akari now keeping her hair fully down and getting rid of the odango. She really did look cute like that…so, I figured I could try doing the same thing.
Maybe it will get her to notice me…
*RINGTONE CHIME*
"Hello?" I said as I answered my phone.
"Hey, Chinatsu. It's Hiro. The others and I are doing a study group at Himawari's and we were wondering if you were going to join us."
"Study group?"
"You know…for finals coming up…"
"O-Oh, right…"
I honestly forgot about that…
"…Well, I…I actually can't. I'm about to visit Kyoko in the hospital."
"You're going over there AGAIN?! You've gone there more times than all of us combined!"
"See? What did I tell you, Hiro?" I heard Aoi's voice in the background. "Why would she come study with us when she could go scissor with Kyoko?"
"I-I AM NOT GOING TO SCISSOR WITH KYOKO!" I shouted with a huge blush on my face. Only to calm down from that claim just a few seconds later. "*sigh* Your interpretation of this is WAY out the window, Aoi."
"Why, though? You said it yourself that you've accepted these new feelings of yours."
"Y-Yeah, but…"
"But that doesn't mean that they're going to scissor, Aoi…" Hiro said.
"Yeah! I mean, they gotta do some foreplay first!" Sakurako added.
"Oooh! Definitely some foreplay!" Then it was Sachiko.
"There's a special yokai-based kind of foreplay that's said to bring good luck to your relationship." And now it was Yuki on the other end. "It is quite complicated…but I could teach it to you if you want, Chinatsu-san."
"WH-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CONVERSATION?!" My blush came back in full force.
"Guys…knock it off. You're not making this any better." Himawari said.
"*sigh* Thank you, Himawari…"
"You're one to talk, Boob-chan." Sakurako said. "You haven't been helping them get together."
Says the girl who hated Kyoko for a good while…
"That's because, sadly, I don't have any experience in romance. But I'm sure you do, at least. Right, Akari?"
"M-Me?!" Akari yelled in shock. "Wh-Why would I…"
"Because you're the only one out of all of us to be in a relationship. Surely you would have advice to give out."
"It would really help, Akari." I added.
"W-Well…" Akari went silent for a bit. "…Do you really love Kyoko, Chinatsu? Like absolutely 100%?"
And then I went silent for a bit. Thinking about what she had just asked me rather deeply. Even though I did say that I've accepted these new feelings for Kyoko…it took me a while to actually come to this point.
To be completely honest…being in love with Kyoko was something I NEVER thought of as a possibility. Not only was I infatuated with Yui, but I also just found her to be an annoying person with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
But then…all of this happened. Kyoko feeling tremendous guilt over Akari's injury…which led to her going to therapy. And then finding out that her father is an infamous serial killer…who which she suffered under during the early parts of her childhood…
…
…And then having the courage to tell me about it. she trusted me THAT much to reveal to me her biggest secret…such an honor can only be given to someone who you share a deep special bond with.
…
And I really want that type of bond with Kyoko.
"Yeah…I do. I 100% love her with all my heart. I can't really explain it well…but those are my true feelings."
"Gay…"
*POW*
"Ow! It was just a joke!" Aoi whined after being hit by Hiro for making that comment.
"If those are your true feelings, then all you have to do is be completely honest with her. Look at her straight in the eyes, clear out any doubt from your mind, and confess your love as if the entire world can hear you! No regrets! As you tell this unfair universe to SUCK YOUR MOTHERFUCKING DI-"
"O-Okay, Akari! We get it!" Himawari yelled as she covered Akari's mouth before she let out a very surprising swear word.
I don't think I'll ever get used to her cussing…
"A-Anyway, Chinatsu…that sounds like good advice to me. Just keep that in mind and you'll be fine."
"*sigh* Here's hoping." I said. "I'm honestly at my limit of keeping these feelings bottled up. I feel like I'm gonna end up doing something cringy at the end."
"Well, it can't get any worse than a male MC being completely oblivious to a girl's feelings for all 12 episodes of a rom-com anime." Sakurako said. "That's like the ultimate cringe."
"And yet, boys are wondering why we're going the homosexual route…"
"Uh…what are you guys talking about?" Sachiko and Yuki both gained sweatdrops.
"Anyway…I'm gonna go now. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow."
"So, you're really ditching the study session…" Hiro sounded exasperated. "…We only got a week until finals, you know."
"F-Forgive me. Next time, I'll definitely join. I promise."
"*sigh* Fine…good luck."
"You can do it, Chinatsu! I believe in you!" Akari cheered.
"*giggle* Thanks, Akari." I said with a huge smile before hanging up the phone. My confidence boosted up greatly by my best friend cheering me on.
Alright! I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!
"Sis! I'm going out for a bit!" I yelled as I rushed out of the house in excitement.
My heart was fluttering the entire trip to the hospital. Even though I was mentally prepared to do this, emotionally…confessing to Kyoko was the most nerve-wracking thing I was EVER about to do.
It was my first time confessing to ANYONE. Let alone, another girl. I mean, yeah, I've pretty much accepted the fact that I was gay when I had a huge admiration for Yui. But this was honestly the first time I had actual genuine romantic feelings for someone. And I don't want them to go to waste by blowing this confession.
Maybe I should hold off for a while. At least until I fully know if Kyoko feels the same way…
With that thought in mind, I made it to the hospital more uncertain than I was when I left my house. Now accepting that just seeing Kyoko was enough for me at this point.
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Come in!"
She sounds…cheerful?
I opened the door to see Kyoko standing in the middle of the room…wearing casual clothes instead of the standard hospital gown.
"Hey! Chinatsu! You're here right on time!"
"Kyoko? What's going on? Why are you out of bed and in casual clothes?"
Kyoko then reached for a stack of papers on her bed and excitedly shoved them in my face.
"*giggle* Check it out! I'm being discharged!"
"S-Seriously?! No way!" I yelled in shock as I looked over the papers.
"Read 'em and weep! Doctor says the cut on my neck has healed enough to where it won't cause anymore damage and as long as I keep it covered, it won't get infected. As of today, I'm officially a free girl!"
"That's great, Kyoko! I'm so happy for you!"
And without much of a warning or a reason, I mindlessly hugged Kyoko out of pure glee. Not noticing what I was doing for a good 10 seconds.
And when it finally hit me…
"O-OH, MY GOD! I-I'M SORRY! I-I WAS JUST…"
"I-It's fine. It's fine. Really." Kyoko said. "Ironically, I would do the same thing if I heard exciting news. A-At least…with my fake personality."
"R-Right. M-Makes perfect sense."
"Y-Yeah…totally."
…
None of us said anything for about a minute. As we both stood there in awkward silence with faces blushed as all hell.
…
W-Wait…why is Kyoko blushing?!
"*clears throat* A-Anyway…" I finally broke the silence. "…When do you get to leave?"
"O-Oh, um…in about an hour or so. There's still a new medication I need to take and it's being filled right now."
"I see…"
"Yeah, so…I'm stuck here for another hour. Nothing else to do besides sit here and wait."
"Well, we could just talk. Nothing wrong with doing that, right?"
"Hmm…yeah, I guess. It'll definitely kill some time. What to talk about, though?"
That's…actually a good question…
"Well…I did slightly mention a celebration party for when you get out of the hospital. We can finally make plans for it."
"Oh, yeah…" Kyoko went silent for a bit. "…But it'll have to be after everyone finishes exams, though. Otherwise, it'll distract them. Plus, there's still the therapy sessions I have to go to…"
"Therapy sessions?" I thought for a moment. "Now that I think about it, you did mention that you weren't the biggest fan of those. What goes on during one?"
"Uh…d-do you really wanna know?"
"Well, if you're having issues with them, then anyone would be curious as to why. Don't you think?"
"Y-Yeah, but…" Kyoko went silent again. "…*sigh* l-look, it's not so much the actual sessions I'm having issues with. M-More-so the therapist…"
"The therapist? Why? Is he some kind of old Oji-san using his profession as a doctor to inappropriately touch you in a suggestive sexual manner and threatens to make your life even worse than it already is if you tell anyone?"
"Th-That's…oddly specific, Chinatsu." Kyoko gained a huge sweatdrop.
"Is it?" I asked with a confused look. "I've been watching these true crime documentaries with Tomoko recently and according to those, it happens a lot."
"R-Really now?" Kyoko's sweatdrop continued to grow.
"W-Well, if it's not that, then what is it?!"
"Well…*sigh* fine. You see, the thing is…"
Kyoko's POV
*FOUR DAYS AFTER AKARI'S INJURY*
I sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room of a therapist's office. With my mom sitting next to me. We actually had to leave Takaoka and come to Toyama to find a therapist. And even then, most of them were overbooked for the whole year.
We eventually found one…but this office was rather small and in a somewhat sketchy area. So, I guess this therapist isn't that well-known around here.
As I looked around the office more, my nerves were starting to get to me. I know I agreed to do this, but…now that I'm actually here…I'm starting to have second thoughts.
"Kyoko, sweetie. Are you feeling okay?" Mom asked me.
"Uh…yeah. J-Just a bit nervous."
"I see….that's at least understandable. Anyone would feel the same way when they go see a therapist for the first time. Talking about one's issues isn't something people are usually excited about."
"Tr-True…"
Especially with what I have to talk about…
"But to be completely honest…when I suggested that you should do this, it was only just that. A suggestion. I didn't really think you would go for it. Knowing how you are…both as a shy girl and a questionable one…I thought it was out of the question."
Wow, even my mom thought I was questionable…
"Well…because of what happened to Akari…and because of HIM showing up out of nowhere…it made me think of some stuff. Stuff that I'm pretty sure I can't hide them away anymore. So, I might as well spill it all out. You know?"
"I see…I think I understand, sweetie." Mom said while resting her hand on my shoulder. I don't think I remember being this open to her before. Let alone, showed her that I care for what she's done for me as her daughter.
Geez. Was I always like this?
"Toshinio…" The receptionist called out my name.
"Looks like we're next. You ready?"
"W-Well…I guess." I said. Still racked up with nerves. With this being my first session, I was hoping that I could have Mom with me the whole time.
But when we got to the door…
"Ah. Sorry, Ma'am. Only patients are allowed past this point." The receptionist said.
"What? But she's only 15." Mom said. "Don't parents have to be there to meet the doctor?"
"I don't make the rules, Ma'am. I just enforce them. You'll have to wait out here."
"Seriously? This has to be illegal somehow. Where do I file a complaint?"
"Up your ass to the left, Ma'am." The receptionist then turned away from us as if she was already done with this conversation.
"Ex-Excuse me?! You rude-ass lazy motherfucker! You're about THIS close from me coming back there and putting my foot SO FAR up your ass, you'll have to shit sideways for the rest of your pitiful boring-ass life, you sorry excuse of a-"
But my mom was anything but.
"M-Mom! It's okay!" I interrupted her. "I-I'll…go alone."
"Are you sure, sweetie?"
"It shouldn't be bad. I just need to let some of this stuff out, you know?"
Mom looked hesitant about it. Especially after what happened just 10 seconds ago. But eventually, she gave in. as she wanted to help as much as she could.
"*sigh* Okay, Kyoko. Go on."
"Thanks, Mom." I said with a small smile before turning to the receptionist. "So, uh…where do I go?"
"Third door on the right. Can't miss it. Oh, and if you walk into a room filled with anime pillows with strap-ons attached, you've gone too far."
"Uh…o-okay." Neither one of us wanted to ask why the hell was that there. And just left it alone as I walked in the door and followed the instructions to get to the room I was told to go to.
Well…here goes nothing…
*PRESENT TIME*
"O-Okay, so…ignoring that last part for obvious reasons…" Chinastu said to me. "…They wouldn't allow your mom to be with you for your first session and you had to do it alone?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Mom clearly didn't like the idea, though."
"I didn't know she could swear like that…"
"She's definitely the expressive one between her and my uncle…" I gained a sweatdrop.
"Anyway…doing your first session alone…I can see how that would be a bad experience for you."
"*sigh* I wish that was the case…but it gets worse from there."
"Worse? How?"
"Well…"
*DAY 1 CONTINUED*
As I sat in the room all by myself, looking at everything that was in there, I was scrambling my own thoughts on how to go through with this.
What should I say first? Should I start with Akari's accident? Or go all the way back to my childhood? They're both going to suck, either way. But which one would suck the least?
It was all starting to hurt my mind. I don't usually do this much thinking unless I'm drawing the next Mirakurun doujinshi or something like that. And since I haven't done that in a while, thinking this hard was really hurting a ton.
"I think I need an aspirin…" I said to myself.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps getting closer to the room I was in. I knew the doctor was coming. I had to mentally prepare for what was about to happen for the next hour and a half.
But…mentally or physically…I wasn't prepared for what was about to come through that door.
"Yeah, yeah. I know I'm late. Bratty 12-year-old wouldn't stop whining about his "non-existent" anger issues. If you're yelling at the TV telling someone on live chat that you "did their mom", you have an anger problem! The nerve of that brat doubting my advice! I don't see you with a master's degree in therapy, you cocky little…"
The doctor looked at me and realized that she had walked into a different room with a different patient.
"*sigh* Whatever." She said as she sat down in her chair. With a mixture of agitation and unamusement written all over her face. "Alright…what's gotten you down in the dumps huh, Blondie?"
…
…
…
"Hey! Hello!"
"U-Uh…sorry. I-It's just…"
"Just what, kid? I ain't got all day."
"Y-You look EXACTLY like this teacher I know."
"Is she a science teacher that does experiments that often lead to explosions?"
"Y-Yeah…"
"*sigh* Damnit! I didn't think I would be dealing with one of her students…" The doctor whispered to herself in a fit of rage.
One of her students?
"S-So, you know who I'm talking about?" I asked.
"Obviously, I know! Her name's Nana Nishigaki, right?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, I'm Ana Nishigaki. Her twin sister."
*PRESENT TIME*
"Her WHAT?!" Chinastu shouted with shock.
"I know…" I said with a facepalm. "…But it STILL gets worse from there."
*DAY 1 CONTINUED*
"N-Nishigaki's twin sister?! She's never mentioned you like EVER!"
"Well, gee…that's not a surprise at all." Ana said with the same agitated X unamused look from before. "That carefree sister of mine probably blew that fact right out of her head during an explosion. Honestly, that woman..."
"Sounds like you don't like her..."
"W-Well, it's not like I hate her. It's just…h-hey, wait a minute! Why the hell are you asking questions about my life, huh?! You got some nerve for a little kid!"
"I-I-I'm sorry! I-I won't do it again! PL-PLEASE DON'T HIT ME~!" I nervously said while shaking in fear.
"Wh-Why the hell would I…" Ana let out a small sigh of annoyance as she opened a vanilla folder resting in front of her. "…Whatever. So, your name's…Kyoko Toshinio, huh? What broke your sanity so bad that you had to come see a shrink?"
Th-That's a dark way of putting it… I gained a mental sweatdrop.
"W-Well. You see…"
I then proceeded to tell Ana everything that had happened for nearly the past two months. Akari's injury, the dream, my mental breakdown…I became more emotional the more I talked about it. Remembering everything all at once…and that's even leaving out the BIG ISSUE going on…I started shedding a few tears. I've never felt this emotional before. I never thought actually telling someone all this would make me feel this way.
Unfortunately, from the look on her face, Ana didn't give a damn.
"Yeah, yeah. I've heard this crap before." Was what she said after I finished.
"Cr-Crap?!" I yelled while being fully insulted.
Sh-She's calling my emotional problems crap?! What is wrong with this woman?!
"But unlike the others, this one actually sounds like a good use of my time."
"Really, now?"
"First off, let's just get this one fact out the way: everything that happened is absolutely 100% your fault."
"W-Wait. Aren't you supposed to tell me that it's NOT my fault?"
"Why would I tell such a BS lie like that? I don't get paid to baby you kids and make you feel all sunshine and rainbows. If you want these sessions to work, then you need to get rid of that delusional happy-go-lily side of yours. Life isn't a freaking slice-of-life school anime on TV."
"Huh…"
She said it in the cruelest way possible…but she has a point…
*ALARM SOUND*
"Time's up. I'm on my break." Ana said as she turned off the alarm on her phone. She then started walking towards the door with not a single hint of happiness on her face.
"Huh? H-Hey, wait! That wasn't even 30 minutes! Aren't these supposed to be longer?!"
"Look, kid. I'm too busy for this. If you wanna talk about your feelings some more, then make another appointment. Though, I'm pretty sure any interesting is long gone by now."
"As if you know! You just doodled in your notebook the whole time I talked and when I was done said "It's all your fault". Like, who the hell tells someone that right to their face?!"
"Please…you think I actually care about these kids and their pathetic problems?! When most of them are just having a hissy fit over losing a Fortnite match or are the result of a bad parent letting them watch King of the Hill on TV?! None of those brats know what TRUE emotional damage is and I'm pretty damn sure yours is no different! So, if you're done complaining, then hurry up and leave!"
As Ana was only a few steps away from exiting the room, I sat there SEETHING with rage! Never have I've met a person so damn heartless before in my life! And all because she doesn't find my problems…or anyone else's…interesting enough to deal with?! WHY EVEN BECOME A THERAPIST?!
I never wanted to bring this up…I had planned to bury this alone deep within my soul. But if she wants an interesting problem to listen to in this pitiful run-down office…then let's see how she'll handle hearing this!
"MY FATHER IS A SERIAL KILLER!"
…
…
…
"What?" That got Ana's attention as she was already one foot out the door.
"My father…Toshiro Asanuma…is The RTM Serial Killer."
…
…
…
"Hey, Tori."
"Yeah, Boss?" The receptionist replied from the front of the office.
"Cancel the rest of my appointments. This one's gonna take a while."
"You got it, Boss."
Ana then fully came back into the room, closed the door behind her, and went back to her seat. Pulling out a recording device and setting it on the desk in between us before letting out a huge deep sigh.
"Alright…continue."
*PRESENT TIME*
"Wow. Just…wow." Chinastu said.
"And now you know why I hate going over there." I replied with a huge exasperated look. "Ana's seriously like a cold-hearted Nishigaki. Plus, all she ever wants to talk about is my childhood with my father. Nothing else interests her."
"Well, haven't you told your mom about it?"
"And tell her what? That my therapist is making me feels worse by only making me talk about my serial killer father? I don't want to make her even more worried. Especially when she's leaving for London later tonight."
"Yeah, that's true…"
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Toshinio-san…your prescription is ready." The nurse said as she walked into the room bag of medicine in hand.
"Ah. Arigatō." I replied.
"Now…the doctor still wants to keep an eye on you as you recover. So, he's scheduled an appointment for next month."
"I see. I'll be sure to come."
"Good to know." The nurse then turned around and headed out the door.
…
But before she fully left, she turned to us and said:
"Oh, and when you do come for the appointment…make sure you come alone. Your girlfriend over there can stay at home."
"G-G-GIRLFRIEND?!" Chinatsu and I both shouted in shock from hearing that. Our faces completely blushed red from total embarrassment.
S-So she KNEW Chinatsu was there last night?!
"*giggle* In any case…have a good day, Toshinio-san." Was the last thing the nurse said as she was now gone from our sight.
…
…
…
"She…Sh-She was joking about the girlfriend thing, right?" I asked. Breaking the awkward silence.
"Y-Yeah…pr-probably was." Chinatsu said. "Just one big random-as-hell joke. Nothing more."
…
"Although, I really wish it wasn't…"
"H-Huh?"
"N-Nothing! Nothing…just…l-let's just go already!" Chinatsu then rushed on ahead out of my now former hospital room. Probably praying to God that I didn't hear what she just said.
…
But honestly…
Sh-She…She wishes it wasn't a joke?! She ACTUALLY wants it to be true?!
…
That means…I have a chance to make it a reality!
Author's Note: Their bond slowly getting closer, Chinatsu and Kyoko end up talking about the latter's experience with what's probably the WORST therapist the world has ever seen.
So, here's the first of two characters who were a HUGE part of Kyoko's story back in the day: Ana Nishigaki. I'd say she was more aggressive in the previous version…but now, I'm trying to make her a little tamer. To an extent.
The next chapter will be the last rewrite for a while. As explained before, Kyoko's story is vastly different now. So, most of it can't be reused here.
Thanks for reading. Later.