[Part 2]
On the outer edges of Pentagram City, in the Doomsday District, a district colored mostly in different shades of purple, there stood a tall tower at the cross section of two streets and was one of the few nicest buildings in the entire district. Doomsday District had a lot of legitimate shops, business and diners to be sure but this was also a spot that saw some of the highest levels of gang warfare and organized crime in competition to sell anything and everything from drugs and pornography right down to souls for slavery. And one of their biggest players was currently holding a small meeting with his own lackeys. High on the top floor there sat a tall figure seated in a chair and facing the large window that offered a view of the whole city.
The figure himself sat in the shadows and it was difficult to see his whole face, but his red eyes glowed in the dark and within his hand he held a glass of strong liquor which he twirled gently, causing the ice to clink against the edges of the glass. Behind him stood several of his most privileged underlings. The first was a tall woman with wings and pointed ears that gave her characteristics of a gargoyle and in her clawed hands she held in between two of her digits a slow burning cigarette. Just like her boss, she too hid within the shadows and would now and then take another puff of her cigarette and exhale a cloud of it from her lips. Next to her on the right stood a lean man leaning against the walls with his arms crossed and looking towards his boss.
The third and final guy in the room to his right was the largest of the group. Bigger than even his boss but not nearly as powerful as the one who held his leash. He was broad shouldered and hunched forward slightly with his arms so big and long his knuckles almost touched the floor. At first the four of them waited in silence and in the shadows before their leader finally spoke up.
"Do you three know why I summoned you?" he asked in a smooth, almost eloquent voice.
"I'm assuming it's an important job boss." the woman answered before taking another puff of her cigarette. "Otherwise, why would you summon all three of us at once?" she asked him.
"Very good question Diamond." he answered before taking a sip of his drink. "I called you three here because I made an interesting discovery. The one that got away has arrived in Pentagram City." he explained glancing back briefly before looking back out the window.
The three of them looked around at one another before the one in the middle spoke up. "You sure boss? You saw him?" he asked.
"He arrived less than an hour ago. There's no mistaking a living human in the land of eternal suffering and damnation." he replied.
"Then what are we waiting here for?" the big guy to the far right asked. "Just kill him already and he's yours." he then brought his hands together and started popping his knuckles. "Just give the word boss and I'll handle it for ya. I don't mind snapping the little bastard's neck." he bragged.
His boss didn't respond at first, but refilled his drink with some more whiskey before taking a sip. "Don't be so quick to pick a fight you can't win Heart." he responded without looking back. "First of all, the boy is currently staying at the Princess' hotel." he told him.
"Ha! Who fucking cares about Lucifer's little sack seed?!" he boasted crossing his arms.
"Don't forget that it was Hell's Princess who did the impossible and defeated the Exorcist Angels in the latest Extermination." Diamond replied, finishing the rest of her cigarette and squishing it in an ash tray. "They even killed their King, the first man of humanity." she added.
"The forefather of us all." the overlord said, getting their attention again. "And don't forget that the Princess' shitty little hotel is currently the base of operations for another Overlord. Alastor." he told them.
This caused some pause among the group. "The Radio Demon." the one in the middle said looking back and forth between the other two. "Either of you eager to fight him?" he asked.
"Never mind that, neither of you will have to." he told the three of them. "We'll watch him closely and as soon as the Radio Demon or Lucifer's brat are nowhere in sight, I'll go in an deal with him personally. You three along with the rest will stand by in case I need you to distract or stall anyone while I finish what was started." he instructed.
"Whatever you say boss." the big guy replied.
Elsewhere, Lincoln walked with Moxxie and Millie, following after Alastor as he led them onto the Cannibal Colony. The place had a very unique look to it that set it apart from the rest of Pentagram City. There wasn't as much neon lights like in other parts of hell's capitol with both the architecture and the style also looking very old fashioned, resembling America during the nineteen tens, twenties, thirties and forties. There were plenty of shops and stores and little diners dotted all about along the streets. And if it wasn't the buildings, the people were also unique. Unlike other parts of Pentagram City, the population were a bit more homogeneous with all the people in the colony sharing similar features and the same taste in fashion.
All the people Lincoln saw as he and his group made their way all had the same exact look to them. Ghostly grey skin and pitch black eyes. Only hair color changed from person to person but so did their clothes. All the men and boys wore a variety of suits with vests, dress pants, shoes and many different hats from top hats and fedoras right down to bowler hats and flat caps. The women and girls all wore a different variety of dresses that were very colorful and stylish such as hats with wide brims and that came topped with a plum of feathers and flowers to compliment their lovely hair. Outfits of both genders were of course from the very early twentieth century United States and the period in between both world wars one and two.
And looking around, seeing sinners that looked like children close to his age made Lincoln genuinely sad. Unlike hellborn demons, who were the original inhabitant of hell and were born naturally, lived lifespans and could even die of natural causes, sinners were originally human who died up top. They were near immortal, only dying when killed by weapons made of angelic steel. And they were sterile too so these children sinners couldn't have been born here. This meant that these children sinners died when they were still kids and couldn't get into heaven due to the incredibly strict criteria for being good enough. So that means these kids have been in hell, most likely dying of unnatural causes and have been here for possibly decades.
As they walked, Alastor was finishing up with the story he had been telling the family he had been escorting. "And as soon as their leader was dead, the Exorcist Angels immediately retreated back to Heaven. And we haven't seen them since." he told them.
"That's crazy!" Lincoln said in disbelief after hearing the whole thing from his demonic tour guide.
"Oooooh! I wish we could've been there for the battle! Would've been so much fun as a family!" Millie squealed in delight from the very thought of fighting to the death with angels.
"Where were you by the way? If you don't mind my asking." Alastor asked, looking back at the imps and human while they walked.
"I'm pretty sure we were up top on another assassination mission." Moxxie answered. "However, Loona did tell us how it was all over the news while we were gone. I'm pretty sure we must've missed it by only a few hours." he explained.
"So who killed Adam?" Lincoln asked the overlord.
"Why, the credit goes to our little darling Niffty." he answered with is eternally, unsettling smile.
"Wait! What?!" Lincoln asked, doing a doubletake.
"It is true. Charlie told her to stab any angel she saw and your angelic forefather just happened to not notice her right behind him." he said before briefly laughing, which was accompanied by the background of a crowd laughing too. "Hell of a performance! Quite the entertainment." he added.
"I must admit, I really wasn't expecting-HOLY FUCK!" Lincoln cried as he stopped dead in his tracks.
Lincoln was a little more reserved about cursing but what he and his demonic parents almost stumbled into shocked the three of them beyond disbelief. Right in the middle of the sidewalk where they were walking were four cannibals who were in the process of ripping someone apart and eating them raw. One of the cannibals was a man literally slurping up intestines like spaghetti. Another was a woman who was taking a big bite of of a severed arm like a piece of fried chicken. There was a boy who looked almost like he would be Lola and Lana's age too. And he was cracking his skull open, scooping out and eating his brains like ice cream. And then there was a cannibal girl who looked almost like she was Lincoln's age.
She looked at him briefly, smiled with a mouth full of razor sharp blood covered teeth then took a big bite out of the guy's liver like it was a slice of pizza. The very sight of them eating some poor unfortunate wonderer turned Lincoln green very quickly. He gagged and turned to look away, fighting the urge to start throwing up. Moxxie and Millie did their best to comfort him while he was feeling sick.
"Oh come now, don't be that way. You really should try it." Alastor said guiding the group around the cannibals as they kept eating.
"You can't be serious." Lincoln said, looking up at the tall overlord with a disgusted expression.
"No really, it's way better than you give it credit for." he said walking around the group of cannibals as they continued their feast with Lincoln, Moxxie and Millie right behind him. "I would offer you some angel meat but unfortunately we're fresh out." he told them.
"You eat angels?" Moxxie asked.
"Some of the Exorcists we killed during the last Extermination." he answered. "And I must say, the taste was quite Heavenly." he said with a joking grin.
That joke was so bad, Lincoln broke the fourth wall for a moment. "I think I owe Luan an apology." he says to the readers with a deadpan expression. "Can we please change subjects? Who's this friend of yours?" he asked, hoping to change the topic to something less related to cannibalism.
"Oh Rosie? Why she and I have been friends for many decades now." he told him as he continued guiding the group through the streets. "I'm glad you're all coming along to meet her. She truly is the most delightful company you could ask for." he added.
"What does she do here?" Millie asked the overlord.
"As a fellow Overlord, she holds tremendous power and influence here in the Cannibal Colony. She also brokers deals between rival Overlords and factions. My dear Rosie is quite the negotiator." he explained, bragging about his long time friend. "She also gives the absolute best advice to anyone who has personal problems they need to talk about." he told them.
Lincoln couldn't help but smile at that. She sounded like a genuinely sweet woman and given that they were living in hell, he wondered how could someone who seems so nice be down here of all places? What sins could she have committed in life that has condemned her to an eternity in the land of eternal suffering and damnation? At the same time though, it wasn't hard to remind himself which part of Pentagram City he and his foster parents were visiting. And given that Alastor himself was a well known cannibal, he wouldn't be surprised if she also enjoyed eating the flesh of other people. If that isn't a sin, then literally nothing anyone on earth could be considered evil enough to be condemned to hell forever.
Meanwhile, Blitzo and Loona were following Angel, Husk and Niffty's group to one of the clubs that the former was going to meet up with his friend at. From what they told the two, it was personally Angel's favorite place to drug it up, drink and dance the night away. Once they arrived, the group stopped just outside the main entrance where Blitzo and Loona could see both sinners and hellborn demons entering once approved by the bouncer.
"Heh, nice place." the hellhound of the group complimented with a small smile as she took in the neon lights, heard the sick beats inside and could hear the partygoers inside having a blast.
"Real glad you like it. This is easily one of the best places to relax after a shitty day in Hell." Angel replied.
"Literally every day in Hell is shitty Angel." Husk grumbled.
"Exactly." he said, responding with a wink and clicking fingers on both of his right hands.
"So when's your friend showing up?" Blitzo asked crossing his arms.
That was when there was a big explosion that shook the ground and caused the two hellborn demons to cough. Stepping out of the reddish pink smoke was a white skinned cyclops sinner demon with a sun kissed coral colored sclera and a light yellow X for a pupil and a mouthful of sharp, pale yellow teeth. Her shoulders and upper arms were dotted with little pink spots and she even had several like dimples on her cheeks and her black lips flashed a sharp smile as she glared at the group when making her entrance. She also had intricate swirly designs on her right arm that resembled cherries and explosions and her strawberry blonde pink hair with platinum blonde accents was tied up into a ponytail with a black ponytail holder.
She was wearing a black one shouldered bra underneath a similarly designed pinkish red torn crop top with four pale yellow spots around the black X located on the left. She also wore a severely ripped pair of black leggings under a torn mini skirt that sported the same color and style as her top. She also wore pinkish red shoes but didn't match with her shoe being a pointed flat and her left looking like a cowgirl boot with a multi pointed off white star on it. And she finished off her look with mix matched fingerless pinkish red gloves with her right one being normal length and her left one being an elbow length black trimmed glove. All in all, she sported the look of a slightly unhinged party animal and anarchist looking for wild times.
"Cherri!" Angel Dust greeted stepping forward in a warm and friendly manner, excited to see his best friend again.
"Angie, you bitch!" she greeted back in an equally excited manner and a thick Australian accent. "Glad you could make, I was afraid you died or some shit." she said playfully punching one of his shoulders.
"Ha! If the Exorcists couldn't kill me in the last Extermination then I ain't going anywhere Sugar Tits." he said, playfully putting an arm around her.
She then turned to greet everyone else. "Husk, Nif, good to see ya again." she greeted.
"Hey Cherri." Husk greeted back with a bored but friendly enough smile.
Then she noticed the other two traveling with their group. "Hey, an imp and a hellhound. Don't get very many hellborn demons here . Nice to meetcha." she greeted them.
"Nice to meet you too. Names Blitz, the O is silent." he said with a wink and a playful pointing in her direction.
"Name's Cherri Bomb. What O?" she asked tilting her head a bit.
"Exactly." he said clicking his fingers. "And this is my daughter, Loona." he introduced, pulling her closer by the waist.
"Adopted." she said rolling her eyes. "Nice to meet you." she then said, greeting the cyclopes demon.
"What brings you guys here? You friends with Angie?" she asked.
"More like on vacation and Angel Dust is bringing us here for some fun tonight." the imp in the group answered.
"We're staying at the Hazbin Hotel along with several other coworkers which was how we met." Loona pointed out.
"Vacation huh? What do you lot do?" she asked.
"Oh sweetie, we're assassins." Blitzo bragged with his arms crossed. "So if there's somebody up top you want us to fuck, come find us in Imp City." he told her.
"You mean fuck them up right Blitz?" Loona asked looking over to her adoptive father.
"I know what I said." he replied, getting his daughter to roll her eyes.
"Sounds sweet. Well, how about we go inside already? We got a lot of drinkin, druggin, and shit talkin tonight!" she said pointing behind her with her thumb over her shoulder.
Behind her was this huge club that was a dark blue with bright neon lights all different shades of blue and purple. Loona and Blitzo followed the group of sinners inside and they saw a huge lobby and party room filled mostly with other sinners but with a few other hellborn demons here and there. Bright lights were flashing all around, there were violent beats mixed in with the club music, played by a DJ in the corner of the room, there was a bar on the other side with all the seats filled by demons getting drunk and there were tables all about where others were either chatting or doing drugs and getting blasted. After about a minute of looking around, the group found an open table so they all took their seats in a half circle with Blitzo sitting with Loona.
"Before we start pouring the beers, we all gotta take these." Angel said, holing up a bag of pills with a cheeky smile.
"And you gotta wash em down with this." Cherri said pouring everyone shot glasses with strong whisky.
Niffty picked up her shot glass and held her pill with a sinister expression. "You sure it's a good idea for her to have that?" Husk asked with a disapproving look.
"Don't be a sour puss." Cherri replied earning her a dirty look from avion cat demon.
"What's it gonna do?" Loona asked sniffing the pill and getting all kinds of strange scents. She's had plenty of different drinks in the past but she doesn't really do any hard drugs.
"Let's just say, I hope you've packed your bags. Because you're goin on a trip." Angel answered with a wink.
"Eh, what the fuck, let's do it." Blitzo said with a shrug and a smile.
All six of them popped the pills into their mouths, threw their heads back as they swallowed the burning hot whisky along with the drugs they were given. Meanwhile, Lincoln, Moxxie and Millie followed Alastor until they had finally arrived at their destination.
"And here we are." the radio demon declared with a satisfied smile.
The group had arrived at a place that read "Rosie's Emporium" with the name Franklin crossed out. If Lincoln had to hazard a guess, someone named Franklin used to be a co owner at one point and was gone now, leaving this Rosie as the sole owner. Upon entering the Victorian era building, Lincoln saw a fancy and well decorated emporium that sold a wide variety of household items as well as freshly prepared foods. However, the human boy wasn't so eager to try any of them since they clearly were made with the flesh of others and his stomach was still on the edge after seeing a public display of cannibalism merely minutes ago. There were a few other cannibals in the room including a group of women seated at a table off to the side.
One of the woman seated at the table was a tall, slender sinner demon with wide hips. She was even taller than Alastor. She had pale gray skin, black lips and a mouthful of razor sharp pink teeth. She had dusty pink cheeks, white and grey hair with pink streaks and the same pitch black eyes with no irises or pupils just like everyone else in cannibal town. She was wearing what looked like a dress from the high class Victorian era. This included a large pimped out maroon colored sun hat, with two skulls that were colored in a grayish pink and a red pink, three dark burgundy flower like decorations located at the brim, and large plumes that were black and pink red. Her hat also had a pink frilled trim around it and black lining on the inside.
Her dress was a pale maroon and pale burgundy with puffed up shoulders, thin pale maroon colored swirly stripes on the high black collar, black trimming around her waist and on her long sleeves, ruffled cuffs. Her dress also had three black stripes and a black trim on the hem. And under her dress she wore a pair of black kitten heeled shoes. Seated with her at the table were three other cannibal ladies, all with similar looks. Same colored skin, pitch black eyes but with different colored hair and all wearing similar dresses and hats. The four of them were smiling, chatting, laughing and eating pastries and sipping tea from very fancy cups. The head of the group was about to take another sip herself when she looked up and saw their group.
"Alastor!" she cried out in a cheerful smile with razor sharp teeth. "Please excuse me ladies, we'll talk again another time." she told them as she came up to the group. "Alastor, this is such a pleasant surprise." she said as the overlord accepted her hand and spun her around like a ballerina in a friendly and playful manner.
"Rosie my dear, I'm always delighted to see you again." he replied to his friend. "All my work up at the hotel keeps me very busy so any chance I get to see you always brightens my day." he told her.
"Oh, the charmer as always." she said in response to the flattery. That was when she noticed the imps and the boy. "Well now, I see you brought guests with you too. Aren't you going to introduce us to each other?" she asked him with a razor sharp smile.
"Oh, how could I have forgotten my charges?" he asked as he brought a hand to his head, pretending embarrassment. "Why I'd forget my own head were it not already attached tp my shoulders." he said before turning to the imps and their foster child. "Everyone, allow me to introduce you to Cannibal Town's unofficial mayor and one of Hell's most influential Overlords. A very good, long time friend of mine, Rosie." he finishes as the cannibal woman does a curtsy bow with her hands holding her stylish dress. "And Rosie my dear, allow me to introduce you to the imps, Moxxie and his wife Millie, and with them is Lincoln Loud. The living human boy cursed to live down here among demons." he finished.
This caused the other overlord to do a double stake. "A living human boy? In here?" she asked first looking to her friend and then back to Lincoln.
"And believe me, I didn't think it was possible either. Yet, seeing is believing." he replied.
"Well, the white hair does throw you off at a first glance." she commented, looking the boy over.
Lincoln stepped forward and bowed his slightly and smiled. "A, uh, pleasure to meet you Ma'am." he told her politely.
"Oh and such nice manners too." she said in delight as she leaned down to smile at him. "And he's just absolutely adorable. Why I could just eat him up." she said playfully pinching his cheek.
Lincoln's smile dropped at that remark. "Uh, figuratively, or literally?" he asked nervously.
"Yes." she answered which wasn't exactly reassuring. So much so in fact, Millie gripped him by the shoulders and held him closer more protectively. The overlord then decided to lead the group into the back to talk more privately. "So, what brings you three to these parts?" she asked as she started setting the water to boil for tea.
"We're on vacation Ma'am." Moxxie answered.
"Well bless your hearts for coming here to little old Cannibal Town." she replied. "It's always nice to get new visitors." she told them.
"Alastor was nice enough to give us a tour. The rest of our group are having a private party at a club I'm not really old enough to go to yet." Lincoln told her.
"I thought a youngster such as himself would enjoy a more respectable establishment such as your lovely Emporium my dear." the radio demon commented still grinning at his long time friend.
"You always did have a way with reading people Alastor." she replied. "Which reminds me, there's a fella who's goin out of business on Skinner's St. Not only is he selling everything on a massive discount but this could be the opportunity for another deal." she told him in a sly manner.
"A store is going out of business?" Millie asked her.
"Oh yes." Rosie answered. "He sold mostly records. A lot of them are opera records." she told the imps.
This caught Moxxie's full attention. "Really? Opera records for sale?!" he asked sounding very excited.
"Up to ninety percent off sweetie." she said with a wink.
Now he absolutely had to go. "Millie, we cannot miss out on this opportunity. This is a chance for us to get some really classic records for a massive discount." he said, turning to his wife.
"Oh absolutely Hon. I'm sure we can find plenty of new records to listen to back home." she smiled.
"I'd be more than happy to show you." Alastor offered.
"Leaving already?" Rosie asked as it looked like the tea was just about ready. "But you all just got here." she said with a hint of disappointment.
"I could stay with you Miss Rosie." Lincoln offered. "Moxxie and Millie can go with Alastor and do some shopping for opera records while I stay here with you." he said with a genuinely sweet smile.
"Oh you are simply the sweetest." she replied, touched by the young boy's offer.
"Lincoln, sweetie are you sure you'll be okay on your own?" Millie asked with a hint of concern.
"I'm sure I'll be okay here. If Rosie is Alastor's friend and trusts her, I see no reason why we can't." he answered.
"I can assure you both, your human will be just fine with her." Alastor added. "So long as he's here with the Overlord of Cannibal Town, not a single hair on his head will be harmed." he said with the three of them thinking that this may be one of the weirdest things they think anyone has ever said.
"Oh he'll be just fine." Rosie insisted as she put her hands on both their shoulders and gently guided them to the entrance. "We'll be right here when you get back." she promised.
"Let us away then." Alastor spoke as he turned to lead the imp couple to the store, leaving the lone human with the cannibalistic overlord.
"So Darlin', how did a sweet little thing like you end up in a place like this?" she asked as her tea was just about ready and started getting the cups and saucers for her guest. "Alastor said it was a curse right?" she asked as she started pouring.
"That's the short version of the story yeah." he answered as she handed him his cup which he accepted. "Thanks." he smiled as he took a sip. "Oh that's good." he commented. "But yeah, a demonologist wanted to sacrifice me for an extended lifespan and longer lasting youth. I.M.P. were hired to kill him so they saved me, but the curse that binds my soul to Hell has been cast. So until I find out how to lift it, I'm staying here." he explained.
"You pour thing." she said frowning. "How long have you been here now?" she asked.
"Almost seven months." he answered. "Yeah, I don't always like it here but I'm managing. When you don't have a choice in the matter, you make it livable." he told her.
"You have a surprisingly very mature look at things Darlin'." she replied, sounding impressed. "By the way, how would you like to try some of my homemade cookies?" she asked holding out a plate for him with recently made cookies on them.
"Oh thanks Rosie, I love cookies and these look..." he stopped himself when he saw that they had body parts from eyeballs to fingers and even organs of people. "... Goooooood?" he asked with a disturbed expression while trying to keep a smile and not be rude.
Rosie however realized her mistake. "Oops! I forgot, you're not a cannibal like we are. How embarrassing." he said in between laughs as she put the cookie tray back down on the table before grabbing another one. "Here Sweetie, chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies." she offered, holding out another tray.
Silently sighing in relief, Lincoln accepted the cookie and took a bite. "Mmmm, this is really good. Thanks Rosie." he told her as he took another bite. After finishing the pastry, he took another sip of his tea and looked back to the overlord as she put the tray down and was preparing to pour her own cup. "So, Alastor said that a lot of people come to you because you give really good advice." he commented.
"Alastor is such a flatterer." she replied as she took her seat with her cup in hand. "I mean, what he says is true of course, but he's always had a way with flattery. What did you have on your mind Sweetie?" she asked before taking a sip.
"Well, I've had something on mind mind lately, but now that I'm here, I don't quite know how to bring it up. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so embarrassed." he said looking away slightly in shame.
"Oh Darlin', you can be as open as you want to be with me. I promise, I don't judge and I'm very discreet." she told him with a reassuring smile.
"Well, it's about someone I like. A very lovely lady." he admitted.
This sparked a keen interest in the cannibalistic overlord. "You have feelings for a sweet demoness?" she asked sounding excited. "This is my area of expertise. Okay Sweetie, tell me everything. What's her name?" she asked eagerly.
"Verosika Mayday." he answered rubbing the back of his neck.
"The famous succubus popstar?" she asked, not expecting that. "Well, you're a fella who knows exactly what you like ain't ya?" she asked grinning and playfully pinching his cheek, earning a blush from the human boy.
On the other side where the other group were having their private party together, Angel Dust, Cherri Bomb, Husk, Blitzo and Loona were laughing in their seats. The five of them were high as a kite and have gone through several cases of beer. Niffty had passed out and wouldn't be waking up again for probably a few more hours but the others were professional drinkers with a much higher tolerance for hard alcohol and the drugs they all took. They were also taking turns telling some really stupid jokes just to kill some time. One night and the group were already having a blast together. Blitzo and Loona were actually glad that hell's princess talked them into staying at the hotel because this was a fun group.
"Okay okay, I got another one." Husk said before taking another swig of his beer. "There's a burning building full of queers. Who evacuates first, the gays or the lesbians?" he asked.
"I don't know, the gays?" Loona asked with a chuckle.
"No, the lesbians. Because they lick-it-e-split." he answered before the group burst out laughing at the crude punchline.
"I got one, I got one." Angel said, getting the group's attention. "Why does nobody ever go to a pride month BBQ?" he asked with grin.
"Why?" Blitzo asked shrugging his shoulders.
"Because all of their hotdogs taste like shit!" he shouted which got the whole group to start laughing again.
That was when another thought came to Cherri. "Wait, I know a good one." she said taking another drink of hard liquor. "So Angie here." she says, putting her hand on one of her friend's shoulders. "Finishing a day of shooting at Valentino's studios. He and six of his fellow whores are relaxing in a hot tub. All of a sudden, a thick layer of cum floats to the surface of the water. Angie rolls his eyes and asks alright, who farted?" she said with a grin as she delivered the punchline.
This only caused the whole group to burst into laughter again and once things calmed down, Blitzo spoke up. "Oh, here's one of my favorite ones." he said with all eyes on him now. "So there's a talent agent, sitting in his office. A lovely family walks in. A man and his wife, their son and their daughter and a big fluffy dog. They all have blonde hair, blue eyes and bright skin. The father and the son were dressed like they just got out of church with both of them wearing their Sunday vests, shoes polished and hair neatly trimmed and combed. The mother is wearing a lovely dress over a blouse with her hair and makeup done to perfection, the daughter's curly hair was put up in pigtails with a bow on top and she was wearing a frilly pink dress." he listed out.
"Even the dog's coat was all bright and shiny like he just had a bath. So the talent agent leans back in his chair and says alright, let's see what you do." he continued.
[Quick Author's Note] So, I tell a lot of really fucked up jokes and enjoy sharing them on this site in my stories. But there's no way in hell am I telling this one. So if any of you want to get Blitzo's full joke, you got to PM me and I'll give you the full thing. But a word of caution, absolutely not for the feint of heart.
Back in cannibal town, Rosie was still talking with her guest about his feelings. "Now, have you actually met Verosika?" she asked him before taking a sip from her tea.
"A couple of times yeah. We've even gone on a date once in Lust Ring at Ozzie's. Long story." he answered.
"Okay, and do you know how she feels about you?" she then asked.
"Oh she's made it clear that she likes me." he says blushing and smiling while rubbing the back of his neck.
"Is that so?" she asked before a thought came to her. "Wait a minute, Lincoln Loud, you're that mystery L.L. guy she's been sending shout outs to over the radio." she concluded as she put two and two together.
"Yup, I hear from her at least three or four times a week." he replied before taking another sip of tea.
"Well, if you like her and she obviously likes you, then what's the problem?" she asked shrugging her shoulders.
"It's Moxxie and Millie I'm concerned about." he answered.
"The imps you came here with?" she asked.
"Yeah. You see, they've been looking out for me ever since I arrived here months ago. They're not just my coworkers at I.M.P. They're my foster parents. And the thing is-" he started before she politely cut him off.
"I can already see where this is going Sweetie. You're worried that your parents will disapprove of who you have feelings for." she said with a kind and understanding smile.
He replied by letting out a sigh. "Millie especially. She can be... very protective." he replied.
"Oh, I know the type." she commented. "Lincoln, it's very sweet of you to take your parent's feelings into consideration on this issue but I'd like to share with you a dirty little secret. It's perfectly normal for you to have feelings for someone that your folks may not approve of straight away." she told him.
"Wait, really?" he asked her.
"Oh absolutely. All children rebel against their parents. It's a natural part of growing up." she told him. "Now, do you doubt that Moxxie and Millie love you?" she asked him. Lincoln smiled and shook his head. "Then when you're ready, you should go ahead and tell them the truth. Will it be a bitter pill for them to swallow at first? Probably. But if they love you like you know they do, then for their little man, they'll gulp and swallow it." she told him.
Lincoln smiled at that. "I'm real glad we had this talk Rosie. I think you did a lot to help me with confidence." he replied.
"That's what I'm here for Darlin'." he said before taking another sip of tea.
The human boy also took a sip and by now was halfway through his cup. "This really is good tea. What kind is it?" he asked before taking another sip.
"It's blood..." she said which made him jerk and stare into his cup with equal parts horror and disgust. "... oranges." she finished with a cheeky grin.
Lincoln smiled and laughed nervously at that. "Okay, that's pretty funny." he admitted once he saw the joke.
"Let it never be said we cannibals don't have a sense of humor." she remarked as she filled both their cups with fresh tea.
Back at the club with Blitzo's group, he was just finishing up with the joke he had been telling them. "So then the dad said we're the Aristocrats!" he shouted as he delivered the punchline.
Everyone was just staring at him with disturbed expressions. For almost a minute, nobody said a word before Husk finally broke the silence. "You have issues Blitz." he told him bluntly.
Cherri then stretched and groaned as a few joints were popping. "Well, I think I'm ready to call it a day." she said laying back.
Angel stood back up and was now holding a sleeping Niffty in his upper arms who laid her head into his shoulder. "Yeah, I'm getting tired too. And Nif looks like she's had enough." he replied.
"Lets get out of here." Loona says standing back up. It was a lot of fun, eating and drugging but now they were ready to get back to the hotel in time for dinner.
Now the group would make it about halfway to the hotel before they would meet back up with Alastor's group and that was when Angel handle introductions. "Right, so squirt, this is my best friend Cherri Bomb. Sugar Tits, this is Lincoln Loud. The human kid I told you about earlier." he told her.
"Well fuck me. I thought Angie was pulling my leg earlier when he told me about you." she said looking the kid up and down while walking. "I didn't think it was possible but I guess seeing is believing. A living human down in Hell." she commented.
"Uh, nice to meet you Cherri." Lincoln replied, smiling.
"Aw, such nice manners. I can tell, you're a good kid. How the fuck did you end up down here anyway?" she bluntly asked.
Lincoln, becoming less and less bothered by such casual swearing just shrugged his shoulders. "Well, did Angel tell you that it's the results of a curse that binds my soul here?" he asked her.
"I think Angie and Husk may have said something along the lines yeah, but I was so fucking hammered at the time I wasn't able to get the whole story. Care to share?" she asked.
So for the next several minutes, Lincoln told the story of what happened to him months ago back up top. How by chance, I.M.P. saved him from a demonologist who made a deal with a powerful demon, possibly an overlord for prolonged youth and a longer lasting lifespan. That wasn't their goal of course, they were just hired to kill him because one of his previous victims was a client of theirs and Lincoln survived purely on dumb luck. But the damage was already done and so now he was trapped in hell and can only return to the living world for short periods of time.
"And since then I've been working at I.M.P. for Blitz and learning magic and sorcery from Prince Stolas." he finished.
"Fucking hell kid that's rough." she replied, sounding sorry for him. "I mean, most humans who die come down here and none of us like it, that's one thing. But for a good kid like you to be cursed to live down here before you've finally bitten it? That fucking sucks. You seem to be handling yourself well enough though." she complimented.
"I won't lie, there's still a lot about the realm of eternal suffering and damnation I really don't like." he admitted before smiling. "But honestly, there are lots of things about it I'm surprised to say that I really like about it. I may be the only human who's ever lived in Hell for as long as I have and I have experienced so much in less than a year. I have a great job as an intern, even if it's a job as an assassin and my boss doesn't pay me." he grumbles with a deadpan expression, briefly breaking the fourth wall. "I have lot's of new friends." he said before Moxxie and Millie put loving hands on his shoulders. "And a new family. It isn't always easy, but I'm tackling this one day at a time." he finished.
Cherri and the other sinners were actually genuinely impressed with how mature the kid was. Any other human kid who would've ended up in his situation most likely would've been driven insane with fear and despair. The group walked and chatted with each other for a little bit longer until they finally made it back to the hotel. Upon entering and walking into the lobby, Lincoln and the other members of I.M.P. saw Vaggie and Charlie with a third person.
The princess of hell saw her guests reenter her hotel and smiled. "Oh great! You guys are back." she cheered delightfully as she ran up to them. "I wanted to introduce you all to my Dad." she said gesturing to the man behind her.
The man they saw was a slender figured fallen angel who was sporting a very close resemblance to Charlie. Same pale white skin, rosy cheeks, blonde hair with a paler blonde highlight and matching eyes with yellow sclera and red pupils. He was also about a head shorter than his daughter, barely reaching her shoulders. He also had a mouthful of razor sharp teeth that were on full display when he smiled and his hair was shorter and styled in a slickened back ducktail with one tuff sticking out. His eyes were also slit like a snake's and he also sported sharp black eyebrows, his eyelids were purple and his tongue was also slit. His outfit was almost entirely of white and red which made him look a lot like a circus ringleader.
He wore a wide brimmed white top hat with a golden snake and a red apple on top resembling a crown and a red lined, red trimmed white popped collared suit with eight golden buttons on it, his coat was worn over a light red and white striped waistcoat with two golden buttons and a small accessorized black bowtie. He was also wearing a pare of black high heel boots and forearm length dark grey gloves. On his left pinkie finger he sports a golden ring. And to finish off his style, he carried within his right hand an apple topped black cane. When he first turned to them the lighting coming from behind hid his face partially in shadows and he had an almost serious expression that would make most people feel uneasy.
"K-K-K-K-K-King Lucifer!" Moxxie stuttered in disbelief while Millie looked on in wonder.
"No fucking way." Loona said with wide eyes.
"The King of Hell?" Lincoln asked doing a double take. "He's here?" he asked looking at Charlie.
"The fallen angel himself. My father Lucifer." she answered still smiling brightly.
In a flash, Lucifer took of his hat with his left hand and had the brightest and friendliest looking smile you could have. "Hello everyone!" he bellowed in a happy and warm greeting as he walked forward with wide arms.
Moxxie stepped forward with a bow. "Your Majesty, it is the highest honor to-" he began before he was interrupted when Lucifer scooped him, Millie and Lincoln up in his arms.
"It is so good to meet you all." he said hugging them and rocking them left and right.
"Yeah, I should've warned you in advance, my Dad is a real hugger." Charlie commented.
He put them back down and Lincoln looked over at Vaggie. "He's the King of Hell and the Deadly Prince of Pride? He just seems so... nice." he said not being able to fully wrap his head around that.
"Yes, the irony is not lost on anyone down here believe me." she replied with an amused smile.
This was when Blitzo stepped forward to make his big introduction and as always he had to go way over the top. "Nice to meet you. The name is Blitz, the O is silent." he said shaking his hand.
"What O?" the king asked tilting his head slightly in confusion.
"Exactly." he replied clicking his fingers with a wink. "Anyways, nice to meet the Royal sperm donor who squirted this fine gem of a Princess into his Queen's baby gap one night." he said pointing to Charlie.
Lincoln and Loona only face palmed at Blitzo being himself. "SIR! WHAT THE FUCK?!" Moxxie screamed in horror.
Both Lucifer and Charlie stared at him with flabbergasted expressions, not sure how to respond to such an inappropriate remark. "I've... never heard anyone say anything like that before, but I guess I'll take that as a compliment." the king replied with an unsure smile while rubbing the back of his neck and shrugging his shoulders.
"Um, anyway." Charlie says trying to move things along and clearing her throat. "Dad, you obviously met Blitz. Well, this is his daughter Loona." she says, gesturing to the hellhound.
"Adopted." she replied crossing her arms.
"This is Moxxie and his wife Millie, and this is the human boy I told you about. Lincoln Loud." she finished.
Lincoln bowed to the king the same way he did when he first met Charlie. "Very nice to meet you your Majesty." he said with one hand over his chest.
"Well, such nice manners. How refreshing." he replied with a grin. He then put his hand on Lincoln's shoulder and walks with him to talk. "So son, tell me, where are you from?" he asked.
"Royal Woods Michigan your Majesty." he answered.
"Sounds lovely, I can't believe I haven't heard of it before now." he commented. "Now, my daughter has told me that you're cursed to live down here but I wanted to hear the whole story from you." he told him.
So Lincoln took the next couple of minutes to give his story to the king the same way he did for Charlie, Vaggie and the other sinners. The whole time, Lucifer looked Lincoln in the eye paying very close attention with a calm but serious expression. But Lincoln made sure to give him all the details and within minutes he was finishing up.
"And I've been working at I.M.P. while receiving magic lessons from Prince Stolas ever since." he told him.
"Stolas? Stolas?" he asked, putting a finger to his chin and thinking. "Oh yeah, the Prince of the Goetia Family. I always liked the guy. Great company." he smiled with a click of his fingers when he remembered. "And he's your magic teacher?" he asked, surprised to hear that such a powerful demonic sorcerer would take in a human child as an apprentice.
"I must have impressed him with my potential because I meet with him a couple of days a week to study alongside his daughter and one of my friends Octavia." he answered.
"You had to have. To be chosen as a pupil by one of the Ars Goetia, especially one as skilled and as talented as Prince Stolas shows you are very talented. You should be very proud son." he said with a smile.
Lincoln felt a swell of praise and smiled at the compliment. Normally, back up top, praise like this was directed at one of his sisters due to all their talents. But to be so openly praised for one of his skills, and by a king no less, lit a spark within his heart.
"Dad, is there anything you can do about Lincoln's curse? Anything at all?" Charlie asked, stepping up to her father with her fingers laced together and looking hopeful.
Remembering one of the reasons he was hoping to speak to the king about this, Lincoln also looked up to him with a hopeful, almost pleading expression. "I... I uh... no, Charlie, I can't. I'm sorry Lincoln, but I just can't." he admitted, not knowing how to answer without really disappointing him.
The boys shoulders slumped with both Moxxie and Millie coming forward to comfort him. "Lincoln?" Moxxie asked.
"Sweetie?" Millie asked her foster son with concern.
"I guess it was too much to hope for." he replied still looking pretty discouraged.
"Lincoln, I'm sorry." Lucifer said stepping forward. "It's not like I wouldn't lift your curse for you if I could. It's just, seals, curses and wards just aren't my area of expertise." he said rubbing the back of his neck. "Hell, I didn't even know a living human could be trapped here until my Daughter told me about you." he said looking briefly back at Charlie.
"It's okay your Majesty. I appreciate your willingness to at least be honest." he replied with a small understanding smile before it vanished.
He was about to walk away when the king placed his hand on the boy's shoulder once more and had him turn to look at him. "Look, I know this is very hard for you Lincoln." he said with an understanding smile while on one knee and at Lincoln's level. "But don't give up hope. I can't do anything about it, but that doesn't mean you can't." he said sincerely.
"Are you sure about that?" he asked him.
"Absolutely." he said confidently. "Charlie built this hotel because she believes she can redeem sinners." he told him.
"And it's just as ridiculous now as it was since day one." Alastor remarked while adjusting his monocle.
"You're not helping here Alastor." Lucifer snapped, looking annoyed with the radio demon.
"I'm just being honest." he said shrugging his shoulders.
"Isn't there a dead animal you should be fucking and eating at this moment?" he asked with an angry sneer and a twitching eye.
"Fuck you." the overlord shot back.
"Guys, we're getting off topic!" Vaggie shouted to remind them to behave themselves.
Turning back to the boy, Lucifer did his best to reassure him. "The point I'm trying to make son, is in the same way no sinner that we know of has never been redeemed, that doesn't mean that it can't be done." he continued. "Well, just because a curse that binds you here has never been lifted, doesn't mean that it can't be. And besides, you have one of the best magic teachers in the seven rings. If anyone can help you break this curse eventually, it's Prince Stolas. I don't know how long it will take, but I know you can do it." he said trying to give him the best smile he could to inspire him.
And it worked. A smile spread across Lincoln's face again at the piece of advice the king had given him. "I guess you're right. Thank you, your Majesty." he said with another bow.
"Absolutely." he said standing up again full of energy once more. "And Lincoln, while I appreciate your respect, you don't need to be so formal. You can just call me Lucifer, I really don't mind." he told him.
"Okay, thanks Lucifer." he said, already realizing he was going to need some time to get used to this.
"In the meantime." he continued. "I may not be able to do anything for your curse, and I'm sorry that I can't. But maybe I can make your stay here more enjoyable while you're not studying with Prince Stolas." he said with a click of his fingers.
A small flame lit up in his hand and suddenly, there was a yellow gold card he held out for the boy to take. "Wait, Dad is that, Oh! Dad, that's really generous." Charlie said now smiling and practically bouncing in place.
"What can I say? I'm a bleeding heart of generosity." Lucifer said standing back up, while smiling and spinning his cane in one hand and placing his hat back on his head with the other.
"What is it?" he asked as he took a moment to look at the card he was given. "A lifetime pass to Lu Lu World?" he asked looking back up at the sovereign ruler of the seven rings.
"Lu Lu World?!" both Moxxie and Millie said in disbelief as they looked at the card their foster son held in his hands.
"That'll get you guys through the front gate, play any games you want for prizes and get food from any stall for free." Lucifer told them grinning. "Make sure you don't misplace that card though Lincoln. Seriously, wars have been fought for less so be careful." he warned him.
Lincoln smiled again. It had been a long time since he went to an amusement park and this could be a lot of fun. And the fact that the king himself had given him this card to make his stay in hell, even just a little bit easier and more enjoyable was really kind of him.
"Thank you your Maje- I mean Lucifer." he said smiling again.
"I only wish that I could do more Lincoln." he said sincerely.
"If you assholes are done with all this mush, let's get ready for dinner I'm starving." Husk said bluntly as he took his place behind his counter again.
"How about it Dad? Would you like to stay for dinner?" Charlie offered.
"Would I ever tell you no?" he asked back with a grin and a wink.
And so it was that I.M.P. and the hotel staff would have dinner together with Lucifer even offering Lincoln and his caretakers the honor of a seat at the king's table. That night everyone feasted on some of the finest and most well prepared dishes and there was obviously banter between friends and shameless flirting, mostly Angel making a pass on Blitzo, much to his and Loona's annoyance. And once dinner was over and with Lucifer deciding to return to his palace, it was time for everyone to return to their rooms as well. Tomorrow, everyone would be going to Lu Lu World for a day. Lincoln was almost amazed with everything that has been happening so far. Meeting hell's princess, meeting overlords, visiting cannibal colony, meeting hell's king, he's experienced so much.
It was probably two or three o'clock in the morning, hell's time anyway, when Lincoln felt a sensation that caused him to stir in his sleep. It felt like someone had climbed into his bed and was now standing directly over him. Laying on his back, his eyes slowly opened and as his sight began to focus they went wide when he saw Niffty standing over him, bending over with her face only inches from his, her eye staring directly into his and a grin full of razor sharp teeth.
"What are you dreaming about?" she asked, leaning in just a little bit more with her eye getting a little wider and her smiling getting bigger.
Lincoln said nothing but stared back up at her in a mix of surprise and horror. Not knowing how to respond as the cyclopes sinner looked at him with the creepiest grin. A minute later, Vaggie came in to remove the maid and stop her from disturbing their guest while he slept.
"But Vaggie, I just wanted to play with him." she whined as the fallen angel held her like she was scruffing a cat and holding her out in front of her.
"Niffty, we've talked about this. Personal space." she replied with a deadpan expression. She then turned back to their guests. "Sorry about that Lincoln. I hope you have a good night." she said as she closed the door.
Both Lincoln and Loona were quiet for a second before the former turned to the hellhound. "This place gets really weird at times." he commented.
"Tell me about it." she grumbled having been woken up. She then yawned and smiled at her little buddy. "Anyway, good night Link." she said turning over to get comfortable again.
"Good night Loona." he replied as he turned over himself and soon fell back to sleep once again.
[Author's Note] Holy crap I did not expect this chapter to take me as long as it did but I'm glad I was finally able to update this story already. But as you can see I had put a lot in it and I'm glad I was able to fit it all into a reasonably long enough chapter. And I promise the next chapter will be a big one since a huge part of it is action. And if any of it feels a little like One Piece, it's because I did draw some inspiration from some of my favorite battles. If any of you are able to guess which ones when I update this story next I'd love to hear what they are.
Also, I plan on updating "Loud In The Lust Ring" next so I sincerely hope you guys are looking forward to that. But more importantly, I'm ready to start doing stories from my favorite anime again. The reason I fist got into fanfiction to begin with. I'm going to start writing Naruto stories again so if any of you are fans of Naruto I hope you'll keep an eye open for my first Naruto fanfic in a long time "Love Comes Gently". I'm hoping to work on the first chapter very soon.
As always thank you all so much for reading my stories. Please leave me a Review and let me know what you all thought of the chapter and if you want to pitch new ideas, send me a PM, I love hearing from and talking with my readers.
This is Dragon1990 signing out :-)