So, we already had a big conversation and some fluff in the first tale. Then lots of emotions and truths in the second one. This one will be… different. I'm starting the story when Amy gets to Sheldon's place, angry about his "Fun with Flags" episode.
Prepare yourself for some fighting and a "creative" way to let out their anger. I have to warn you that this is very different from the usual romantic fluff I write. When I decided to write these ten tales, I promised myself that I would try out some new things to challenge myself. This is one of them. I am not sure if you'll like it, but I promise, I will be back to romance and fluff with the next one. This one is angry and painful, but it will still end on a fluffy note, because there simply is no other way for me to write a "Shamy-'first time'"-story.
"Warning": Definitely M-rated.
The Love Retrieval Chronicles
Tale Three – 'The Separation Oscillation'
One-Shot
Sheldon
"Can you believe that? You would think that the Czech Republic would be trying to hold on to what it has given that it's not as young as it used to be. And I don't see any other countries lining up to invade its southern borders."
This was a low blow, he knew that.
And not just because historically or geographically, this did not make sense at all.
But in his rage, Sheldon could care less about facts.
He was hurting. Like a wounded animal.
His world was not making any sense to him anymore. And the one person who could make it make sense again had abandoned him.
None of his attempts to contact her had worked.
He had tried to remind her of their mutual interests by bringing up Fun with Flags, but she had not been interested at all.
He had tried to remind her of all their happy times by going through her box of stuff together. She hadn't even become a little bit nostalgic.
And when he had implied, he was touching some other woman's breasts, she hadn't shown a tiny hint of jealousy.
Did she really not care about him at all anymore? Was he no longer worthy of her attention?
At this point, all he really wanted was a reaction from her. Any kind of reaction.
The rational part of his brain had shut down, and all there was left was confusion and pain. And a childish need to make Amy pay attention to him. In any way possible.
So, when she showed up at his doorstep, he was not bothered about the fact she was angry at him. Not even a little bit.
"How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia?!"
He knew she would look through his thinly veiled metaphors for their relationships and especially her genitalia.
He had counted on making her mad. And he had hoped it would make her mad enough to show up at his apartment and scream at him.
Wasn't it just great when a plan worked out the way it was supposed to?
And while he usually did not like it when she raised her voice at him, right now her yelling felt much, much more tolerable than her silence. Or could he dare say… it felt strangely satisfying.
In fact, as Sheldon stood there and watched her while she demanded the video taken down immediately, he felt a smile form on his face as he felt calmer and more content than on any other day since their break-up.
He could stay here for hours and listen to her yell and scream and prove that he still had any sort of impact on her life.
Though – oh, the pain – he knew, this moment would not last. He knew it could only be seconds until she would stomp out of his life again.
But then – he had no idea why she did it – Penny got up just as Amy was turning around to leave. She pulled her friend into the apartment fully and walked past her.
"Hey, Amy, Leonard and I were just leaving. We have a few things to organize. Can you believe Sheldon gifted us a trip to San Francisco and wants to tag along? Why don't you give him some hell for that while we go book ourselves a real honeymoon?"
Sheldon's mouth dropped open as Leonard shoved the tickets into his hand and ran after Penny.
Everything had happened so quickly that he barely had time to process why he suddenly found himself alone in his apartment with his ex-girlfriend.
He took a closer look at her, trying to make sense of the situation.
Amy stood motionless, staring at the door that had just been shut in her face.
Tension radiated from her rigid posture. Her shoulders were slightly hunched as if burdened by an invisible weight, and her arms were locked at her sides, hands balled into tight fists.
Her legs seemed frozen in place, feet firmly rooted to the ground, as if caught between the impulse to flee and the need to stand her ground.
But she did not make any move to leave the apartment.
Sheldon's heartrate accelerated.
Amy did not leave. Amy was still here. Here, in his apartment.
A grin formed on Sheldon's face, and he was just about to offer her a beverage but then…
Amy turned around. And the look on her face…
Time for round two.
"How could you, Sheldon?", she said, her voice dripping with anger. "How could you go on the internet and tell everyone you did not like the birthday cake I made for you."
Oh right. He had said that too. Maybe that had been a step too far. Although…
"Well, it was vanilla cake with blueberry frosting.", he said stubbornly, lowering his gaze. "Everyone knows my favorite is chocolate cake with strawberry frosting."
Amy huffed.
"How would I know that? You never told me. Just like you never told me when your birthday was. I did a nice thing for you. And you said you liked it. But now that was just a lie. And you just had to throw it in my face. For the whole world to hear. Perfect. Really perfect, Sheldon."
He felt guilty for a second.
Yes, it was true. Amy had done a nice thing for him.
After he had been ambushed by the gang with this horrible surprise party, Amy had invited him to her apartment the next day. She must have been up all night, baking him that cake. And then, she had celebrated his birthday with him the way he liked it. Without much fuss. They had played his favorite board games. And then she had watched Doctor Who with him. He had loved the whole day. Which was what he meant when he had told her the cake was good. That everything on this day had been more enjoyable than what his friends had come up with for his birthday.
But that was not the point here.
Thinking about these happy memories only made everything worse.
And he was mad at her.
He was mad, because she had made his life so good.
Everything. Even those 'special days' he used to dread.
First Valentine's Day. Then Christmas. And at last, his birthday.
He had started to believe that maybe he was able to enjoy life the way other people did. Because Amy seemed to keep finding ways to make it enjoyable for him.
Before she had taken it all away without warning.
And now, he had no idea what to do with himself anymore. Where to put all his pain. How to deal with so many emotions all at once.
It was all her fault.
"Well, why would you care?", he hissed. "You broke up with me. You never have to bake anything for me ever again. And I never have to pretend to like your baked goods ever again."
"Fine by me.", Amy shouted.
"Good.", he shouted back.
It was not good. It wasn't good at all.
It hurt. Everything hurt.
And he was about to apologize, but then her eyes shifted to the tickets in his hands and her expression hardened.
Time for round three.
"And what kind of lunatic invites himself on a freaking honeymoon?", Amy threw up her hands. "I mean I know you are a hell of a nutcase when it comes to relationships, but even you must understand that this is a social situation when a couple wants some alone time."
Lunatic? Nutcase?
He was hurting before but hearing her say these words felt excruciating.
Did she really think so little of him?
"It was not supposed to be a honeym…"
"But then again, why wouldn't you want to tag along?", she exclaimed, shaking her head disbelievingly. "You brought Raj to our two-year-anniversary. You befriended a crazy guy on our Valentine's dinner. Hell, it's good we're never going on a honeymoon, you would probably just create an open invitation on Facebook and spend your nights doing movie marathons. Because you would never want a real…"
"How dare you!", he snapped. "You have no idea. I am more than capable of planning the perfect honeymoon."
He had to restrain himself from telling her… about the detailed plans he had already made. It would only add salt to his wound if she knew how much he had wanted this.
She scoffed. "Well, that's easy to say now since I'll never have the opportunity to see it for myself."
There was a heat forming in him. His insides turned into lava. He was a volcano, ready to erupt and destroy all life around him.
"And whose fault is that?", he hissed.
He had seen Amy angry before. Several times.
But nevertheless, he almost recoiled when he saw her expression.
She looked as if steam was about to come out of her ears.
So yes, he almost recoiled.
But he did not. Because the rage inside his body wouldn't let him.
"What do you mean whose fault is that?", she yelled.
"Isn't it obvious", he hissed. "You were the one who broke up with me, Amy. You got what you wanted. We will never get married. We will never go on a honeymoon together. And you have lost the right to tell me what I can and cannot do. So, if you don't like me going to San Francisco with my friends, well… tough luck. It's none of your business."
"Fine.", she sneered. "Go insert yourself in all your friends' private moments. Keep living like a puppy to a married couple. I'm just glad I won't be there to see it."
"Good.", he shouted, his insides boiling more and more.
"Good.", she screamed back, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
In hindsight, it wasn't clear how it had happened.
One moment, Sheldon and Amy stood there with flaring nostrils, their chests heaving, staring at each other, their eyes burning with anger.
And then…
Time for round four
But that round… happened in a way he could never have foreseen.
One of them growled. He had no idea who it was. Maybe both of them.
And then, within a second, he found himself with Amy in his arms. Flush to him. His arms slung around her hips. Her hands in his hair. Their mouths fused together.
Then there were kisses. Although he wasn't sure if he could call them that.
Because this was unlike anything he had ever perceived as kisses.
They were nothing like their usual kisses. Nice. Calm. Controlled.
But hot and demanding. Consuming. Messy. Overwhelming. In a good way.
The volcano inside of him erupted. And out came the hurt and pain. The anger. The regret and confusion. And – unexpectedly – also the desire. So much desire, it seemed to overtake his entire being.
He moved his hands to her butt and squeezed. Hard.
She responded by scratching her fingernails over his shoulders.
It hurt. But he was glad it did, because for a second, it made the pain in his heart easier to bear.
He bit her lower lip lightly prompting her to open her mouth and he took the opportunity to slip in his tongue.
She gasped but caught herself quickly, as she pressed her body into his even more, her hands clawing at his shirt aggressively.
Sheldon's heart was beating almost right out of his chest.
There was a tiny voice, telling him it did not make sense. None of it.
But who cared about sense anymore? Who cared, when he was feeling things, he had never felt before?
He kneaded Amy's buttocks particularly hard, eliciting a high-pitched squeal that drowned out the little voice.
The logic of this endeavor did not matter. All that matters was the tingling in his body and the urge to… to devour her.
Still kissing her hotly, he started walking backwards. Pulling her with him.
She seemed to hesitate for a second, pulling away from their kiss.
He raised his eyebrows at her. Challenging her.
Are you going to chicken out now?
She narrowed her eyes, looking at him defiantly. Then she pushed him another step backwards, following him immediately.
Encouraged by the way she caught his lips again with hers, he let his hands wander.
From her buttocks up and then to her front, working on the buttons of her cardigan.
But there were so many of them. Too many.
So, he just ripped it open, enjoying the delicious sound of the fabric tearing while buttons scattered all over the floor. He had never been one to enjoy destruction but right now, it felt strangely satisfying to tear something apart the way he had been torn apart.
Amy didn't even flinch. She grasped the hem of his shirts and pulled it over his head with so much energy, he could feel the seam give away.
He did not care about the shirt. He only cared about this inexplicable need for something that would take away his pain.
They didn't speak, as they made their way through his apartment, almost stumbling over their own feet, leaving behind a trail of ripped fabric and buttons.
It was a huge mess, but Sheldon did not care about that either.
They were down to their underwear when they reached his room.
Sheldon was breathing heavily as he closed the door behind them, but allowed himself a second to take in the view in front of him.
Amy was wearing a matching pair of black cotton bra and panties. It looked sensible. Comfortable.
Not at all like the ridiculous, frilly bra he had tried to make her jealous with. No wonder that hadn't worked.
Her skin was glowing. Her cheeks were red and her lips wet. Her chest was heaving.
She looked… perfect. Just beautiful. The way her hair fell down her shoulders. Her breathtaking curves. Her expression. Softer than before.
Sheldon was still upset but it seemed appropriate to say something. Something nice to make up for all the fighting. Maybe to let her know that he was done being mean. That this, whatever they were doing, meant something.
"Amy…", he exhaled. "You… you look…"
She just narrowed her eyes at him.
"Shut up, Sheldon.", she said gruffly, before she shoved him on his bed. "I'm still mad at you."
Oh. So maybe he had misread the situation.
He felt a wave of disappointment, but then his expression hardened.
So, she wanted this to be angry? She could have it.
He scrambled back on the bed, and she followed him until she was sitting on top of him.
He pulled her face down to him, kissing her again hotly while reaching for the clasp of her bra.
"Well, good.", he grumbled between kisses. "Cause I'm still mad at you too."
He meant it. Of course he was mad at her.
She had ruined him. She had made him fall in love with her. She had made him start to think about changing his whole life. About engagements and weddings and houses and children and celebrating holidays as a family.
Even worse. She had made him want her. Desire her. Make him think about her at inappropriate times.
She and her perfect body. For years she had tortured him with her tight skirts. The constant sexting. The lips that somehow always tasted like brownies.
He couldn't take it anymore. Today, she would be his. He would kiss her and touch her in a way she would never forget.
He hoped that it would make her come to her senses and put this ridiculous break-up-thing behind them.
But even if she would so heartlessly discard him again afterwards, he would make sure to leave his mark on her so she would be reminded of him for weeks.
Because he did not care if it was wrong. He needed to have her.
Amy
Never before in her life had Amy been this furious at anyone.
Wasn't it bad enough that Sheldon did not give her any time to process their break-up? To grieve and adjust to her new reality. And to heal from the pain.
Did he have to put their business all over the internet as well? Did he have to use his podcast that she had loved being part of to hurt her even more?
Did he have to coax her into coming to his place to rip him a new one? Was it really necessary to stand in his living room, where their five-year anniversary had come to such a dire end?
And did he have to still be this attractive? Did it have to be so hard to be in a room with him? Did their confrontation have to be so stimulating?
Did her heart have to remind her of how much he missed him? How much she loved him? How much she wished she had not broken up with him?
And did Sheldon have to be so responsive to whatever it was that was happening between them? Did he have to be this willing? This eager and enthusiastic?
His mouth on hers… his hands exploring her almost naked body… where did this passion come from? Where had he hidden it all these years?
It was intoxicating and addictive. And infuriating too. Because why, if he was so good at this, had he deprived her of feeling it for such a long time
She groaned when Sheldon's hands moved to her breasts. He wasn't being gentle at all. And she did not want him to be. She wanted his passion. Welcomed the way he was slowly losing control.
At the same time, he kept attacking her neck with his mouth. Sucking and nibbling on her skin in a way that made her forget her name.
She pulled away for him and ran her fingernails over his stomach before she reached for his underwear.
Amy expected Sheldon to protest. Hadn't it only been months since he hadn't even wanted her to look at his legs?
But on the contrary, he lifted his legs and shimmied out of his last piece of clothing, before hooking his fingers inside her panties.
She obliged and then a thrill coursed through her.
She was naked. Naked. In Sheldon's bed.
Finally, after all these years of dreaming of it.
Finally… it was happening.
It. The things she had wanted to happen for so long.
Sheldon kissed her again. He wasn't as rough as before now. It was almost gentle, the way he grasped her shoulder and lowered her on the bed. The way he lay down next to her. His hand on her hip, caressing her softly.
A lump formed in his throat.
Who knew Sheldon could be this… seductive. And loving. And… perfect. Exactly how she had dreamed him to be during all these lonely nights throughout five long years.
"I have condoms in my nightstand.", he whispered, even his voice so much softer now. "I don't know if you…"
Amy's eyes widened.
She had been in such a daze before, but finally, reality kicked in.
"I…", she croaked, trying to collect her thoughts.
Sheldon kept condoms in his nightstand?
Why? Why would he do that?
Because he was planning on being intimate with her?
But… he had never indicated that he was. Not even on their five-year anniversary. And now they weren't together anymore and…
Had he bought them for his next girlfriend?
Oh God…
Finally, it hit her.
She was naked in Sheldon's bed.
And he was finally willing to make love to her.
He was passionate and wild. And sweet and gentle too. And he was looking at her body the way she had always wanted him to look.
It was perfect. Everything was perfect.
Except…
She was not Sheldon's girlfriend anymore.
Nothing about this was the way their first time was supposed to be.
There was so much passion, but it was too angry. Too rough. And instead of consummating their love as something that would strengthen their union, this was going to be the nail in the coffin of their dying relationship.
And the worst thing was… it would not mean anything. It would be sex. Plain and simple. Casual, meaningless sex. And then Sheldon would never look at her again.
She could not do this.
Panicked, she scrambled up on her knees, grabbing Sheldon's blanket to cover herself.
"Oh no…", he whispered, breathing heavily as she started to shake. "Oh no. No, no, no, no, no… Oh God…"
Her head was starting to spin. It was as if she was finally waking up from some kind of trance.
"Amy?"
Sheldon sat up too, trying to come closer, but she moved backwards until her back hit the headboard.
"Amy, did I hurt you?"
He sat in front of her wide-eyed. He could see the terror in his eyes.
'Yes', she wanted to shout. 'Yes, you hurt me. You are hurting me every day when you aren't with me.'
"No.", she whispered. "No, it's just… this is wrong, Sheldon."
Tears sprang to her eyes.
She did not want this to be wrong. She wanted to proceed. For all the right reasons.
"But…", Sheldon's voice trembled. "But Amy… I don't understand. I thought you wanted this."
"I did.", she moaned. "Oh, I do… but… not like this. Not…"
"Not… what?", he pressed. "Please Amy, tell me what's wrong."
She couldn't.
The world around her turned blurry and she found she couldn't produce a coherent thought anymore.
She tried to think. To make sense of… everything. Why was she here? How had she ended up in this situation.
Fun with Flags. The birthday cake. Slovakia…
"I… I…", she stammered.
"Amy?", he whispered. "Please. You're scaring me."
She looked up at him. He looked small. Pale. And scared.
It was a miracle he hadn't run out of the room yet.
She wanted to say something to reassure him, but there were hardly any thoughts left in her brain.
"Slovakia has never once invaded the Czech Republic.", she finally blurted out.
She had no idea why, but this had been bothering her ever since she had watched Sheldon's newest episode.
"W… what?", he stuttered. "I…"
"You should know that.", she continued, her voice sounding high-pitched and hasty.
"I do, but…"
"And if it did, it would not invade from the south.", she continued. "Because it only shares a small fraction of the southern border. It's more on the East. So, if any country would invade the Czech Republic's southern borders it would be…"
"Austria.", Sheldon said quickly. "I love that you caught that, but…"
"You were trying to rile me up.", she accused him. "Not just with your insults but also by talking nonsense."
"I…", Sheldon said, lowering his gaze. "I was."
"You hate the sharing of inaccurate facts. You must have been very motivated. You… you really wanted to make me angry."
"Yes.", he said in a small voice. "I did."
"Because you're mad at me.", she concluded. "Because you hate me for breaking up with you and you wanted to hurt me."
"I was… mad at you.", he admitted. "And I did want to make you mad at me too."
"See…", she sniffled. "This is wrong. I don't want to have sex when we are mad at each other. I don't want this to be an act of hate or revenge or…"
"But I do not hate you, Amy.", Sheldon interrupted her.
Amy looked up at once taking aback by the sincerity in his eyes.
Again, he tried to come closer to her, and this time she did not protest.
"I was mad.", he told her softly. "But I am not anymore. At least… not really. And not at you but… at myself."
"Really?", she croaked. "But I broke up with you. And you went on the internet and said all these… and… you hated the cake and…"
"I…", Sheldon squeezed his eyes shut for a second and buried his face in his hands, before he looked up at her.
His expression was completely different now. There was no anger in his eyes anymore. No defiance. No arrogance.
He just looked… broken.
"I lied.", he confessed. "I… loved the cake."
She blinked.
What? This did not make sense.
"Sheldon…"
"It wasn't my favorite flavor but… you made it for me so I would feel better. Because that's what you do. I… used to hate Valentine's Day but you ordered pizza and watched Star Trek with me. I hated Christmas, but you made my meemaw's cookies. And I hated birthdays. But unlike my friends, you found a way to make me enjoy that too. And…"
"Sheldon…", more tears streamed down her cheeks.
"I used to… not like my life all that much, Amy.", he confessed, almost inaudible. "It got better when I met Leonard, but still, I never really felt… complete. It was only when I met you that I realized what I had been missing. With you… I don't just live. I enjoy my life. I am happy. And…"
He moved even closer, his hand covering her knee over the blanket.
She let him. In fact… she welcomed his touch.
"Amy, I don't care what flavor of cake you bake me. As long as you are there to bake me one each and every year. I don't care how we celebrate our birthdays or Christmas or Valentine's Day or anything else. I just… want you there. For every holiday. Because without you, they just don't make sense."
"Sheldon, what are you saying?", she whispered.
"Please, Amy.", he said, tears filling his eyes. "You can be mad at me all you want. You can yell at me and tell me everything that you think is wrong with me. Just… please tell me we can be together again."
Amy was shaking all over.
There were a lot of things to consider here. The doubts that had been accumulating in her mind for months. Sheldon's insults that had led her to break up with him. The humiliation he had made her feel. The childish way he had reacted to their break-up. Penny's bra. Fun with Flags.
She should tell him off for all of it. Tell him he had his chance, and he blew it. By not appreciating her. By taking her for granted over and over again.
But there was also… this. This vulnerable man in front of her who loved her. Who had finally told her how important she really was to him. Who, yes, had acted childish, but not out of malice but because he had not known how to handle this situation.
And there was also the fact that Amy had never really wanted to break up with Sheldon in the first place.
Not to mention how much she was trembling with want and desire for him.
And the way he looked at her now. His eyes… the sadness… the hopefulness and… the determination. Of never taking her for granted again.
He deserved another chance. And so did she.
There wasn't really anything to consider anymore.
"Please.", Sheldon repeated, squeezing her knee. "Tell me we can be together again."
Amy sucked in her bottom lip, then covered his hand with hers.
"We can.", she whispered. "We can be together again."
"Really?", he breathed out, his lips trembling. "Really? So then… does that mean… we are no longer broken up?"
Amy took a deep breath, then smiled at Sheldon.
"There's… things to discuss. Problems to fix.", she said. "But yes. We are no longer broken up."
Sheldon exhaled shakily, before he moved his hand to her cheek.
"Do we have to discuss these things now?", he asked, searching her eyes.
It was surreal.
Amy would lie if she said she hadn't thought about getting back together with Sheldon. There had been daydreams… of Sheldon apologizing to her. Of him confessing his love for her. Of herself falling into his open arms. And yes, of a talk. An important one.
But in none of her daydreams… not even in one… had they been in Sheldon's bedroom. Naked. Only separated by a thin blanket that was barely covering her.
It was all so crazy.
And while she wanted to have a big talk with Sheldon at some point… right now, it was the last thing she wanted to do.
"Do you want us to talk now?", she returned his question.
To her relief, he shook his head.
"No. I mean, I want us to talk. Just not right now."
"Okay.", she nodded, her heart jumping in her chest.
"Tomorrow.", he added.
"Alright."
"Right now… I just want to be with you.", he said. "If you let me."
"Of course.", she whispered before she pursed her lips.
When he kissed her this time, there really was no trace of anger or aggressiveness to be found anymore.
Just… relief. Reassurance. And devotion.
Amy moved her hands to Sheldon's shoulders letting her fingers run over his naked skin.
"I cannot believe this is happening.", she murmured against his mouth.
He pulled back and looked at her, one of his hands moving to the back of her neck.
"I can.", he said, biting his lips.
"Yeah?", she breathed out.
"Yes.", he nodded. "I think it's the right time. It feels right. Doesn't it?"
He looked at her intently, gauging her reaction.
It was sudden. Very sudden.
A few minutes before, they hadn't been together, and now they were about to… well… really, really be together. In a way they hadn't been before.
Maybe it would have been more sensible to wait. To talk first. To give it a few days to settle down.
But the thing was… she agreed with Sheldon. She had not a single doubt about what they were about to do.
And also, there was a voice inside her. A voice full of desire that had been suppressed for too long. Threatening to run havoc if she was stupid enough to let this opportunity pass.
"It does feel right.", she mumbled. "Completely right."
He smiled at her.
"Good. In that case…"
Time for round five
His lips descended on hers again.
Ever so slowly, the blanket slipped down her body, and for the second time that night, she revealed herself to him.
But this time, she could appreciate Sheldon's gaze on her. She could appreciate the gentleness of his touch and the love in everything he did.
She explored him. His long neck. His firm chest. His muscular back.
His body seemed to vibrate under her touch as he showered her neck with sweet kisses.
"I love you, Sheldon.", she whispered into his ear.
"I love you too.", he murmured against her skin.
He mapped out her body with his hands.
His big, soft hands, that both felt warm and made her shiver.
He was so, so unexpectedly good at this. So bold and self-assured. And it all felt so easy. As if they had done this a hundred times.
"Amy…", he groaned as she cupped his behind. "Amy, I want… I need…"
He slipped his hands between her legs.
"Oh…", she moaned, as she spread them slightly.
It felt unlike anything ever before.
"Okay?", he whispered.
She opened her eyes with great difficulty and was met with Sheldon's intense stare, as he kept exploring her folds.
"Yes…", she groaned. "God, Sheldon..."
He kissed her softly then, his tongue slipping into her open mouth, as he touched her carefully.
"Hooo…", she sighed into his mouth. "Sheldon… Oh my…"
"I'm sorry about Slovakia.", he whispered.
She chuckled. Really, were they still talking about this?
"It's… okay…", she panted.
"It's not.", he argued. "I said something inaccurate on the internet. On a flag show you're associated with. I tarnished our reputation. I was a… bad… bad boy."
"You…", she furrowed her eyebrows. What a weird thing to say.
"I think I should repent.", he continued.
She shook her head amused. "Well, we can do another show, and you can retract it then."
She was getting impatient. Why could they not just continue.
"I can.", he said pointedly. "However…"
She finally opened her eyes again and saw the way Sheldon was smirking at her, a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.
"However?", she asked, trembling in anticipation.
"Recently, I did some research, and I cannot promise that I know what I am doing, but I think… I have figured out the perfect way to make things up to you.", he said, giving her one single peck on the lips.
She furrowed her eyebrows, as he made her lie down fully.
"Well, you certainly piqued my interest."
He kissed her once more, before he trailed a line of small kisses down her neck. Each one was tickling her just the right way and she moaned when he reached the valley between her breasts.
His mouth moved to the right then, softly pressing kisses to her sensitive skin.
"Oh…", she breathed out, as he moved his tongue over her nipple.
He was taking his time. Grazing his teeth against her, tugging at her softly.
It seemed he was sending jolts of electricity directly to her core, and she was panting already.
"Mhmmm, I certainly agree with your way of making things up to me…", she sighed prompting him to chuckle.
He moved his head to her other breast, making her squirm as he gave it the same treatment, before looking up to her again.
"That's not all I've planned though.", he whispered and winked at her.
Then, before she could react, he moved down her body, pressing soft kisses to her ribcage, her belly, her hips, her…
"Sheldon!", she exclaimed alarmed. "What are you…"
She lifted herself up on her elbows so she could see what Sheldon was doing.
"Do you trust me?", he asked as he put his hands on her thighs to spread them further.
Amy nodded weakly.
Of course she trusted him. Even after everything that had happened, he was still the person she trusted the most.
But… this? Not in a million years would she have expected this and for a second, she wondered if this… all of this… was nothing but a very, very vivid dream.
Sheldon's gaze wandered to her most private part and suddenly, Amy felt self-conscious.
No one ever had looked at her this intimately. Sheldon was so close to her core now. He was studying her. And although he had touched her there just moments before, now just his gaze alone felt so much more… intense.
"Sheldon, I don't know… oh… oh…"
It was the last coherent thought she would have for a while.
He still seemed to be fully focused as he moved his hand to her folds. He ran his thumb up and down, studying her and her reactions.
She mewled when he reached her clit.
"Interesting…", he whispered to himself as he drew little circles around her most sensitive spot.
"Oh God…", she moaned, falling back on the pillow. "Oh… Sheldon…"
Then his finger was gone again, and Amy opened her eyes again with great difficulty.
He seemed to be satisfied with his findings, as he lowered his head to where his hand had been.
Amy shivered, both scared and elated because of what was about to happen.
Spreading her open for him, he darted out his tongue to taste her for the very first time.
"Oh…", she groaned as he began licking her. Very slowly and tentatively at first, but God, she had no idea anything could feel like this.
Sheldon seemed to be content with her reactions, because at once, his whole mouth connected with her.
She sobbed, as all she could do was hold on to the sheets for dear life.
Amy could not think anymore. Not when his hot breath was tickling her skin. And the things he was doing to her with his tongue… oh… he definitely was a genius.
She spread her legs more to make room for him, and he responded by enveloping her hip with one arm while using the other hand to hold her steady for him.
Then he dove in again. Devouring her. Leaving no part of her untasted.
"Ahhh…", she moaned, moving her hands to his head. "Sheldon this is… oh… hm…"
She ran her fingers through his short hair as she pressed her body to his tongue.
She couldn't believe it. His head between her legs. And oh… the pleasure this was causing her. She was climbing higher and higher.
Just when she thought it could not get more intense, he moved his hand to her core again.
He was gentle at first. Just pushing his fingers into her slowly, repeatedly.
Later she would realize that he wasn't just touching her. He was trying to prepare her. To stretch her to make everything else easier for.
And then, she would wonder how long he had been preparing for this, but right now… there was no more blood left in her brain.
His mouth found her clit again. His lips closed around it and then her eyes shot open as she sucked on it. Once. Twice. Thrice.
It was her undoing.
Her body went rigid, and she cried out as her climax hit her. She felt herself contract around his fingers, which made Sheldon groan against her core. The vibrations were almost too much. Too good.
"Sheldon…", she moaned. "Oh my God, Sheldon…"
She kept repeating his name, as the pleasure kept washing over her.
Sheldon slowed down his ministrations just the right way to not overstimulate her, but he only let go of her fully once her breath slowed down and the last aftershocks of this intense sensation had passed.
Amy felt as if she was floating in space. She felt light and slightly dizzy. Fully relaxed. As if there were no bones left in her body.
She barely noticed, when Sheldon moved back up to her, kissing a trail up her body in the process. He cupped her face, and she opened her eyes.
He grinned at her, his eyes beaming with pride.
"So…?", he asked cheekily. "Did I do this right?"
Amy chuckled, trying to catch her breath. "You certainly made up for everything you said on that podcast of yours. And then some."
He kissed her nose. "Good."
"I cannot believe you did this.", she murmured. "I mean… how… why…"
"I read up on it a few weeks ago. When I was preparing myself for… well, you know."
Her eyes widened.
Impossible.
"You were preparing yourself to be… intimate with me?"
Sheldon just nodded.
Her mouth dropped open.
Well, now, the condom-comment made sense. Had Sheldon really been thinking about taking this step? Before she broke up with him?
"You…", she started, trying to wrap her head around it.
"I read that…", he started whispering. "If you wanted to make a woman… very happy, then what I just did is the way to go. And it is also supposed to… make the next part a little easier."
The next part.
He could only mean one thing.
She swallowed deeply.
"Okay."
"So… you still want to…"
Was he kidding her?
Instead of giving him an answer, she let her hand wander again. Down his belly. Over the soft curls leading south.
He hissed when she grasped his manhood.
"Is that okay?", she made sure to ask.
"Mhmm…", he nodded, lying down on his back next to her. "More than okay."
Amy could barely believe it. She was finally allowed to touch him. To really, really touch him.
She held his gaze as she ran her fingers up and down his length fleetingly. His eyes… they were full of love and desire. And trust.
She couldn't stop herself from kissing his lips. They tasted of her arousal, and it made her brain almost shut off again as she remembered what he did to her.
She gripped him a bit more tightly, eliciting a moan from Sheldon.
She licked her lips.
One day she would find out what he tasted like. One day, she would make him as crazy with her mouth as he just did.
But now… now she really, really wanted to finally feel him.
She lifted herself up on her knees and crawled on top of him.
"Amy…", he whispered, looking up at her with surprise in his eyes.
"Okay?", she asked.
His hands moved to her hips. "Of course… but…"
She knew what he was about to say. He had wanted to take charge. To guide her through this experience.
But he had already done so much for her. Now, she wanted him to relax.
"We don't need condoms.", she whispered. "But if you prefer them..."
"I don't.", he said quickly, guiding her hips to where he needed her to be.
"Good.", she said and smiled at him sweetly.
Time stood still for a moment, as they looked into each other's eyes.
This was it. The moment when they would finally become one.
And it felt so perfect, it was almost surreal.
Amy slowly lowered herself, taking him in just a little bit.
She gasped as he entered her for the first time. It was intense… so much more intense than she had thought.
Sheldon moved his right hand to her face, tucking her hair behind her ear so he could see her expression. The other hand remained on her hip.
Step by step, she took him in further as he kept studying her face, his eyes laced with concern.
"Are you alright?", he whispered, once he was fully inside of her. "I don't want this part to… hurt you."
She took a deep breath.
It wasn't entirely comfortable, but it hurt much less than she had expected it to. Sheldon had prepared her thoroughly and her heart filled with love and gratefulness to him.
"Yes…", she whispered back. "More than alright… Sheldon… I…"
Her eyes filled with tears. It was so intense. But not just the physical part of this.
Merging with Sheldon in a way she had hoped, but hardly believed to be possible… it felt unbelievable. In the best way possible.
"I love you, Amy.", he told her, his voice gentle but serious. "More than I can tell you."
"I love you too.", she croaked.
She bent down to kiss his lips, and he moaned into her mouth at the sensation of her hips moving slightly in the process.
Encouraged by his reaction, she moved again. Only slightly. Rocking back and forth to get accustomed to the feeling of him inside of her.
Contrary to her expectations, it was not awkward at all.
Neither of them had any experience with this and yet, their bodies seemed to know exactly what to do.
Amy did not know why that was. Maybe because they were geniuses and had a better understanding of the human body than most people?
Or… was it another sign that they were made for each other? That their connection was so strong their bodies had no other choice than being in complete sync?
She would probably never know, but Amy wanted this to be true. Logic aside, she wanted to believe that she and Sheldon were born to be together. That it was their fate to be together for the rest of their lives.
They moved together slowly, languidly. Their gaze locked. Speaking to each other with their eyes.
About how they both regretted everything that had gone wrong during the past weeks. How they were thankful for this second chance. Determined to make things work. To never allow so much distance between them to grow ever again.
About how special this moment was to both of them. How much closer they felt now. And how right it was to make love to each other.
Sheldon's hands were everywhere. He was feeling her, caressing her. His groans grew louder, and he was panting heavily.
"Amy…", he moaned as his hands moved to her buttocks. "Oh, dear Lord, Amy. I… I had no idea…"
His words made her stomach swoop and little tingles appeared all over her lower belly.
"Me neither.", she whimpered.
He groaned loudly and pulled down, brushing her lips against hers again.
It was so sexy to see Sheldon like this. Sweaty and out of breath. Slowly losing control.
His hard length twitching inside of her. His pelvic bone rubbing against her just right with every thrust.
Little stars burst behind her eyelids and she all but collapsed as she felt pleasure wash over her again, not as intense as before, but God was it beautiful, especially when Sheldon followed only seconds later, releasing himself deep inside of her with a long, guttural groan.
And as they were still catching their breaths, as they were lying in each other's arms, sharing sweet kisses and gentle caresses, Amy saw more clearly than ever before.
She could see it all. She would love this man for all her life. She would be with him and stick by him through it all. And one day… one day, she was going to marry him and bear his children.
"Amy will you...", Sheldon breathed out.
Her head shot up slightly.
Had he just read her mind? But this was neither the time nor the place…
"Will you…", he took a deep breath, as his chest was still heaving. "Will you… go to San Francisco with me? This weekend?"
Amy smiled to herself. Well, this was not the "will you"-question she had imagined right now, but it was a lot easier to answer than the one she had equally feared and hoped for.
"I would love to.", she murmured.
"Wonderful.", Sheldon whispered into her hair as he pulled her into his arms.
Sheldon
Well, that had been a close one.
He had caught himself just in time. Reminding himself that he had promised her to talk tomorrow. As much as his meemaw's ring kept popping up on his brain, it would be highly inappropriate to ask her before everything was cleared up.
Luckily, he had remembered the tickets. The tickets to San Francisco that would not be going to waste now.
"God, this is so nice.", Amy mumbled into his chest.
He nodded. It was. More than nice. And to think he could have never found out…
"I'm sorry.", he whispered as he felt a small pang of guilt in his chest.
"Why would you be sorry?", she asked, lifting her head to search his eyes. "Tonight was… wonderful."
"I'm sorry.", he repeated. "For fighting this for so long. I know how much you wanted it. And… I realize that a part of me wanted it too. But I couldn't let myself… I thought it would… I…"
He had a hard time finding the right words.
"It's okay.", she assured him. "I know you were fighting battles against yourself, Sheldon. I was always willing to wait for you. And after tonight… I can only say, boy were you worth the wait."
He grinned proudly.
"Things are going to be different from now on.", he promised her. "And I don't just mean the sex. I… will prioritize you more. I will give you more affection and I will show you my love more frequently. I will make you happy Amy. And I will never have you doubt us again."
"Oh Sheldon…"
To his concern, her eyes were filling with tears.
"Amy…"
"I'm sorry too.", she mumbled. "For calling you a lunatic and a nutcase and a puppy. I did not mean it. I was angry. But you don't have to change who you are to make me happy. I promise, I will never doubt you again."
He caressed her face softly.
It had stung to hear these things from her. And even if she hadn't fully meant them, he knew he had made mistakes in the past.
Which was why he wanted to take her to San Francisco. To spend an uninterrupted weekend with her. To talk about their relationship. But also, to prove to himself and to her that he was capable of being a good boyfriend.
He would take her out to dinner. Without inviting any of their friends. Without befriending a fellow train-enthusiast. Without any mentioning of superheroes or comic books.
And then, he would pop the "will you"-question that had almost slipped out before.
These were the things, Sheldon Cooper dreamed of as he fell asleep, holding the woman he loved in his arms.
And soon, he would find that for once, all his dreams were going to come true.
Bonus epilogue – Penny's POV
"Are you sure it's a good idea to come back here tonight?", Penny asked as Leonard pulled out his apartment key. "What if Sheldon's still awake? He'll be so mad at us for leaving him."
"And for booking the little hotel at the beach for the weekend.", Leonard added as he turned his key. "Which is why we should tell him now. So he can still get a refund for San Francisco."
"You're right.", she admitted. "I do feel a little bad for him though. To leave him for the weekend just when he's so torn up about Amy. Maybe we should have just gone along with his plan. He needs some distraction."
They entered the apartment, closing the door behind them.
"I know what you mean. But I still think we deserve to go on a real honeymoon. Just the two of us."
Penny sighed.
Yes, Leonard was right. Especially after the whole Mandy Chow fiasco, they needed some alone time. And yet, she felt bad about it.
"Do you think we should have done more?", she asked. "Prevent them from breaking up or…"
"They are both adults, Penny.", Leonard reminded her softly. "They have to get through this. Maybe at some point, they will find their way back to each other."
"Yes, but what if… ouch."
Penny looked at the floor. What was this strange item she had just stepped on.
She picked it up.
"Leonard, are you missing a button?"
Leonard shook his head. "Not that I know of. Look, there are more."
They collected five dark green buttons from the floor. Which was strange enough but…
"Is that… Amy's cardigan?", Leonard asked, pointing at something green.
Penny picked it up, noticing the missing buttons as she pieced together the pieces of an unlikely puzzle.
Her eyes widened as she walked a few steps.
"Sheldon's shirt.", she said tonelessly. "It looks torn. And… look, a blouse. And more buttons."
"Oh, my God, do you think they had an actual physical fight? Are they okay?", Leonard stammered.
Penny shook her head disbelievingly as she kept walking.
"I don't think it was a fight.", she whisper-shouted. "Look Leonard. Sheldon's pants. And Amy's skirt and… is that her pantyhose?"
She picked the last item up. "It's completely torn as well. Oh my God, this must have been so… hot."
"But what actually happened? I don't understand. Or… noooooooooooo…", Leonard's eyes widened almost comically. "You think, Sheldon and Amy…"
"They must still be in there.", she pointed at Sheldon's bedroom door. "Oh my God, Leonard. Do you know what that means. They're back together. And they… they… wow…"
"Oh no…", Leonard groaned as he finally caught himself.
"What do you mean, oh no?", she exclaimed gleefully. "Isn't it amazing? Oh, I can't wait to talk to Amy. She'll be so happy…"
"Yeah, good for her.", Leonard sighed. "But can you imagine what the next weeks will be like? I think we'll better stay at your place for a while."
"Aww, Leonard, I don't think it will be that bad.", she brushed him off, but then they heard voices from inside Sheldon's bedroom."
"Mhmm… Are you sure, Amy? Do you want to… again?"
Then there was a soft giggle.
"What can I say? You rocked my world so much, I cannot get enough of you. Besides… I also have a few things to make up for."
"Well, if you put it like that… oh… Amy… what are you… mhmm… you… you naughty vixen."
"I know… I am a bad… bad girl… now get ready to receive my repentance."
And then there were only sighs and moans, only interrupted by the occasional "whoopie".
After a moment of stupor, Penny let Leonard pull her away from the scene.
"So… you were saying…"
"Alright.", she conceded. "My apartment it is."
And while she was thinking of all the ways she would be teasing Sheldon about breaking the roommate agreement, she couldn't help but smile to herself.
"You know, Leonard… maybe when you pack for our trip, you should pack a bit more."
"Why?"
She turned to him and winked.
"Because you won't be living with Sheldon much longer."
So, who would have thought? I am capable of keeping myself "short" and writing a one-shot. I know, this was a bit different from my usual writing, but I hope you enjoyed it, nonetheless.
Also, I was really happy to finally add one of my favorite headcanons. Remember, when Sheldon was ranting on "Fun with Flags" about the birthday cake and how he pretended it was good but still got dumped?
So, while I am convinced that Amy had figured out Sheldon's birthday years before he told Penny, I am also convinced she pretended not to know about it. There is no way she made him a birthday cake before season 8. So, this is my theory: Sheldon did not enjoy the party that was sprung on him in season 8. Amy noticed it and felt bad about it so, a few days later, she organized a real celebration that Sheldon could enjoy. Just for the two of them, doing their thing. Because just like Christmas, she wanted Sheldon to have positive associations with his birthday.
Now an update on my "schedule":
As of next week, I will be working full-time. More than that, we are dealing with a massive teachers-shortage and while my boss (she's the absolute best!) came up with a good solution for all of us, there will still be days when I am the only teacher present at our school with all students from four different grades in my classroom.
I am not complaining, because I love my job. I love the school I'm teaching at (it's an adorable, tiny mountain school in the middle of nowhere and it kinda looks like something straight from "The Sound of Music"), I love the kids, I love the parents. Also, teaching has always been my dream job, and in fifteen years there hasn't been one day when I did not want to go to work. But I have to admit that I am scared of this schoolyear. Not just for me but also for the twenty little souls in my classroom that also have to deal with a completely new situation. The past few days, I have completely reorganized my classroom so the transition will go a bit more smoothly. I have pre-prepared almost all lessons until autumn break and I decluttered cupboards that no one has opened in years to make room for my new organizational system. I even bought a label maker and labeled everything. Sheldon would be proud, haha.
And then there's my own three children to consider. I never planned on working so much as long as they are little, and I still want to have lots of time for them, as they are used to. I am still working on a way to make this possible.
That's a long way of saying, I will have to take a little break from posting. I think (hope!) that I did enough so things will run smoothly, and I will get a bit time to myself once we all have adjusted. I will post again soon. Writing these stories is so important to me. In a way, it keeps me sane and of course all your lovely reviews lift me up so much! I'm sorry for having to stop for now, but I promise, I will be back. Thanks to everyone who read this far. I hope you'll still be interested in my next tale whenever I get to post it.