I'm sorry for the long pause. I've been so busy with everything and then I had a bit of a health scare to deal with, which made me realize I had to slow down. So, I went off the grid for a while. We also went on a small family vacation in the Tyrol alps, which was exactly what we all needed, and now I have a bit more energy again.

Regarding this chapter, I have good (at least I hope it's good) and bad news. Good news is, this is not the last part of this tale after all. While I was writing it out, I realized I needed much more time for it than I had thought. There were so many things I wanted to get across and it was so emotional, so I did not want to rush any part of it and when I was editing it, I realized I had already exceeded my usual word count long before I even got to the second part of their reconciliation-date. So, I had to split the chapter into two parts. The bad news is… all the M-rated parts will be in the next chapter. I hope you will not be too disappointed.

As for when the next chapter will be posted, I will be writing something into my end notes, because I don't want to bore you all with the details of my personal life. Feel free to ignore it!

To avoid any confusion: This chapter starts three days before the last one ended, so right after Sheldon came home from the Cheesecake Factory. I ended the last one with the text messages, as I said, because I wanted it to end on a happy note. But of course there were a few gaps in between, and so, Sheldon's POV in this chapter will be how he dealt with his feelings and thoughts after his confrontation with Amy. Then, Amy's POV will be their first date.

The Love Retrieval Chronicles
Tale 4 – "The Helium Insufficiency"
Part 4 of 5

Sheldon

It was a rather long walk from the Cheesecake factory to his apartment. But after his conversation with Amy, it wasn't nearly long enough to deal with all the thoughts running wild in Sheldon's head.

Even hours later, when he was already lying in his bed, Sheldon found himself caught in a rollercoaster of emotions.

He desperately wanted to focus on the good part. The part where Amy admitted how right it felt to text him. How she had chosen him the moment they were matched. How there hadn't even been a choice to make.

What did it even matter if she had dinner with that man one more time? It was over. Amy wanted him. No one else. And he wanted her. He wanted to leave all of this behind and just be with her again.

But then, there was the other part of the conversation.

The one that left him confused. Frustrated. And although he did not want it… also angry.

He hated the idea of Amy with another man. He hated it with every fiber of his being. He hated that, while he was thinking of more topics to text her about, she was out, having dinner with Dave. Without telling him about it.

Dave… Sheldon shuddered at the name.

He couldn't stop his imagination from running wild.

Conjuring up an image of this… great guy who was so into the idea of dating Amy. Who had treated her well and was surely willing to give her everything she wanted. Everything he, Sheldon, had not given her.

And even if Amy wasn't interested and did not plan on seeing him again, Sheldon just felt… defeated.

He knew there had always been other men who were interested in her. Ridiculous men who did not stand a chance against him.

But now, the woman he had been with for five years had met someone else. Someone worthy of her attention and sympathy.

Which was bad enough. But how could she still go out with him, even after they had texted for days? How could she hide it from him?

She must really like this man.

And Sheldon couldn't help but wonder… what if he hadn't found Amy on the dating app and matched with her again?

Would she still be seeing Dave? Would she eventually fall in love with him? Would she be happy and forget about their five-year-relationship?

And…. Fear gripped Sheldon's heart… Would she eventually be happier than she used to be with him?

Sheldon startled as he heard a noise from outside his room. The apartment door was opened.

He pulled his blanket up to his nose, hoping his friends would not look for him in his room.

"He's home.", he heard Leonard's hushed voice through the door. "There's his jacket."

Then more steps.

"He's not in the bathroom." – "He must have gone to sleep."

"This early? It's not his bedtime yet. Do you think… Amy's in there too?"

Sheldon sighed and looked at the empty space beside him. If only…

"I don't think so. There's no sign of her. But something must have happened. Right? It cannot have been a coincidence that they both were suddenly gone."

"Do you think… Sheldon has confronted her about her mystery man?"

"Why would he? He seems to be happy with his mystery woman."

"Yeah, but you know… it's Amy. Do you really think any other woman could ever mean to him what she did?"

Sheldon just shook his head. No. Never.

"I don't think so. And I guess the same goes for her. Meeting him tonight must have shaken her up too. I wish she'd answer her phone."

"Try again tomorrow. Maybe we'll know more then."

"You're right. And maybe… I'll stay at my place tonight. Just in case Sheldon's willing to talk to you."

He wasn't willing.

Not when he heard Penny leave the apartment. Not when Leonard knocked at his bedroom door minutes later. And not in the morning as they drove to work.

"I'm okay.", he just told his friends over lunch, although his eyes were twitching as he said it. "My stomach felt a little weird, so I went home early. No, I don't know where Amy went. Why would I?"

But no matter how much he tried to be convincing, for some reason, while he was trying to figure out his feelings, his friends figured out that he was hiding something.

It should not have come as a surprise when, a few nights later, he walked into his apartment to find a group of people already waiting for him in the living room.

"Hello…", he said apprehensively as he took off his windbreaker.

"Sheldon.", Leonard said, a little too friendly for his liking. "Why don't you take a seat. Pizza should be here in a minute."

"I'm not hungry.", he tried to wiggle out his way of whatever this was. "I think I'll just…"

"Sheldon, sit.", Bernadette demanded in a tone that made him sit down almost instantly.

"Okay.", he conceded. "But I really don't know why…"

"So, here's what we know so far.", Howard interrupted him. "A few months ago, you and Amy broke up. You both met other people online and seemed happy about it. Three days ago, we all went to the cheesecake factory together. Both of you disappeared at the same time. You've been evasive ever since. Amy hasn't answered any texts and she's been working from home these past few days. None of us have been able to reach her."

Sheldon froze. He had not known about the last part. In fact, he had been so caught up in his own emotions, he had not thought about how Amy was doing or what she was thinking about the situation.

"You haven't been texting all the time these past few days. So, I'm guessing things between you and your…'mystery woman'… have cooled off", Penny added. "Which leaves us with three possible conclusions."

Sheldon looked down on the floor. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what his friends had came up with.

"One: You and Amy are back together and you're both avoiding us because you want it to be a secret.", Raj said, looking at him closely as Sheldon tried to keep his poker face, as pain shot through him.

"Okay, I guess that's not it.", Leonard decided. "So, two: You did something stupid and insulted her again. She's had enough and decided she can't be our friend anymore. At the same time, you screwed things up with your mystery woman, and you're too embarrassed to tell us."

Sheldon frowned. "Why do you guys always assume the worst about me?"

"Well, if that's not it either… we are left with option three.", Penny said, giving him a strange look already. "We were all blind to what's been going on and somehow Amy's really your mystery woman."

Sheldon winced, which made his friends gasp in unison.

"Are you kidding me?", Penny screeched. "All this time, you were texting Amy? How did that happen? Why did you not tell us?"

"It makes sense though.", Leonard added. "You said you knew her. And that she worked at CalTech. How could we not have figured it out when it was right in front of us?"

"You got matched with her again?", Raj swooned. "That's so romantic. You two really are meant to be."

"But… but how…", Bernadette stuttered. "I mean… what happened between you two? Why aren't you texting anymore? And why is Amy avoiding us?"

Sheldon took a deep breath.

Well, the secret was out now. And if he was honest… he was desperate to hear a second opinion on what had happened.

So, he told them everything. How he found Amy's profile. How they got matched. How they wrote to each other, pretending they didn't know each other.

And then… Dave…

"I just don't get it.", he told his friends. "Why did she even get matched with me when she was dating someone else at the time? Why did he get the courtesy of a final meeting when she wouldn't even talk to me about our break-up? Why did she not… tell me about him on her own? And why…", he sighed. "Why does there have to be a Dave in the first place?"

From the corner of his eye, he could see that Howard and Raj were nodding in agreement, which already made him feel better about himself.

"Come on, Sheldon.", Penny told him softly. "You cannot be mad at Amy for trying to move on in the first place. You guys were broken up. Amy had every right to be seeing someone else. And even if you were reconnecting, she's currently not your girlfriend. You can hate it all you want, but right now, she does not owe you an explanation if she's going out with other men."

"I disagree.", Leonard chimed in. "Can't you see how hurtful that is? It's naïve to say she's currently not his girlfriend. They were together for five years and they've only been broken up for a few months. She should have known better."

"I agree with Leonard.", Howard said. "When she got matched with him again, she must have known he assumed they were getting back together. Wasn't it enough to break his heart once? I mean, I know it's Sheldon, but still, I cannot believe she moved on so quickly. Women, huh?"

"Thank you.", Sheldon nodded in agreement.

Penny rolled her eyes.

"Well, you're one to talk. How long did it take you guys to tell Sheldon to ask out other women? Also, Leonard, how long did it take you to sleep with Dr. Slutbunny after we broke up? That was hurtful. And Howard, do I have to remind you about your online affair with a dirty troll while you were still with Bernadette? Talk about double standards. Men, huh?"

Howard and Leonard started talking at the same time.

"Dr. Plimpton? You know she did not mean anything to me. In fact, she slept with…" – "The troll happened years ago. It's not fair to…"

"Can we please focus on my situation right now?", Sheldon complained. "I don't have to hear again about what you guys did with my friend back then. And… this is not about what any of you did. Amy and I, we are different. At least… I thought we were different."

Penny shoved Leonard away from his seat and sat down next to Sheldon.

"Yes, Sheldon, you and Amy are different. However… break-ups are messy. And both, you and Amy, are new to this. Amy was trying to move on. But she ended things with this man. Why is it bothering you so much that she did it in person?"

Sheldon looked at her incredulously.

"Is this another one of your 'Let it go'-talks?"

Penny shook her head.

"No. I'm just trying to understand why you are so upset about this."

"Well…", Sheldon sighed. "For starters she broke things off with me over Skype without a real explanation. I still don't know why she did it. And then, she went out of her way to make sure this… Dave… knew exactly why she couldn't see him anymore. Does she think he's better than me?"

"Probably.", Howard chimed in. "I mean, to be honest, I don't understand why she would be taking you back in the first place when she's got other options."

Bernadette shot her husband a dirty look.

"Shut up, Howie. We all know why she wants him back. She never stopped loving him. Which means, she certainly doesn't think Dave's better for her."

"But then why…", Sheldon started, but Bernadette interrupted him as well.

"Listen Sheldon. As much as I understand your disappointment in Amy, you need to understand that she's not the only one to blame here. You keep complaining about how Amy broke up with you out of the blue and did not give you a chance to talk it out. You find it unfair that Dave got a "last talk" and you did not. But aren't you forgetting something?"

"I have an eidetic memory.", Sheldon muttered. "I don't forget anything."

"Well, good. Then you do remember the day when you showed up at our house to watch Leonard and Penny's wedding."

"I remember none of you inviting me.", he pointed out. He still felt bitter about that. "All of you just took Amy's side."

"See? You're doing it again.", Bernadette sighed. "Sheldon, at that point, Amy had not broken up with you yet. There were no sides to pick. Amy didn't even really want to break up with you then."

"How would you know…"

"Because I was there.", Bernadette exclaimed. "When Amy came over, she was completely distraught over your situation. She needed time to figure out how to proceed, but her plan was always to talk to you and figure out a solution. And now, maybe you remember what I said when you were at our door."

"You said…", Sheldon rolled his eyes. "You said my presence was not helping things."

"Exactly. I was trying to help you. But did you listen to me? No. You insisted on coming in and then you humiliated her. Even after that, Amy still wasn't sure if she made the right call. Maybe she would have still been willing to talk, but what did you do next?"

"I only returned her things to…"

"You taunted her with Penny's bra and insulted her on the internet for everyone to see. Can you really be mad at her for not wanting to talk to you afterwards? Did you ever even… reach out to her and apologize? Did you ever really ask her for a reason?"

Sheldon frowned.

Admittedly, these were not his finest moments, but he did not like the direction this conversation was going.

"So, what…", Sheldon said angrily. "Are you saying this is all my fault and that it serves me right? That Dave is indeed better than I am, and I should be grateful she still picked me? Am I mad at her for no reason? Did she do nothing wrong?"

"I am not saying that.", Bernadette shook her head. "Amy clearly made a mistake. She does not get a free pass from me. And if she were to answer her phone, then I would ask her for an explanation and try to make her understand that she hurt you with her actions."

Sheldon nodded to himself. "Thank you."

"I really don't understand either why Amy went out with Dave again after you guys reconnected.", Bernadette continued. "It does not make sense to me. It never seemed like she actually enjoyed going out with him."

"So… you knew about Dave?", Sheldon concluded, his heart sinking further in his chest. "He was important enough to her to mention him to you?"

"It's not like that, Sheldon.", Howard assured him. "Her phone was connected to our TV when he texted her. And Bernadette's right. Amy did not seem happy about dating at all. She seemed sad."

"Resigned.", Penny added. "As if she was trying to accept that she had to move on."

"I agree. But... I'm sorry Sheldon, I know you don't want to hear it, but I remember thinking that maybe it was good for her to see what's out there for her.", Raj pointed out. "I mean… we're talking about Amy here. When has she ever been pursued? On some level, that must have felt nice. I get that this kind of attention meant something to her."

"She's been pursued plenty of times.", Sheldon pointed out. "Stuart. Kripke. Bert. How much more attention does this woman need?"

"Well, for starters… she was always fighting for your attention.", Bernadette told him, not in an unfriendly voice. "And while Dave was never the one for her, I agree with Raj. It must have meant something to Amy, the idea of dating someone who gave it to her willingly."

"But…"

"Which…", Bernadette interrupted his protest. "Which does not mean he's better for her. It means, she had the choice to enter a more conventional relationship than yours was. And she decided against it, because she loves you and wants to be with you. And while, yes, she did not have to go out with Dave once more and you have every right to question her motives, you should ask yourself if this really is a dealbreaker to you."

Sheldon sighed.

He did not want it to be a dealbreaker. What he wanted was to go back to their 5-year-anniversary and get their relationship back the way it was.

"I just wish…", he mumbled. "I wish she hadn't broken up with me. I wish we were still together and that she never considered dating another man. And I am not stupid. I know I brought some of it on myself. I want to move on, but… I just wish… none of this would have happened and we would already be…"

He stopped himself before he could reveal too much.

The engagement ring was still safely tucked away in his wall-safe. It seemed like a whole other life when he considered giving it to the woman he loved.

"Here's the thing, Sheldon.", Penny said softly. "You cannot change the past. You can take all the time you need, but at the end of the day, you both need to make a decision. You can both stay mad at each other for everything that happened and try to move one with your lives separately. Or you can both own up to what you did and try to see the other's perspective in this."

"Exactly.", Raj nodded. "You both need to let go of any residual anger and resentment. It is good that you can acknowledge how your actions contributed to this outcome. And Amy needs to see that, even if she wasn't your girlfriend at the time, her actions were hurtful to you. She has to understand your perspective too. And then, maybe you two can take this as a lesson and move on."

"That is… if you even want to try again with her.", Leonard spoke up. "Sheldon, I saw how much you have suffered these past few months. And yes, your actions did contribute to your break-up. But if you feel that Amy has crossed a line… you are under no obligation to fix thing with her. If this is too much for you, then maybe it's better for you to move on. And eventually, maybe you'll meet…"

Sheldon got up before Leonard could suggest something completely ridiculous.

"If you'll excuse me now, I'm… really tired. I think I'll go to bed early today."

Then he left, ignoring his friends' voices trying to call him back.

Lying in bed, he kept replaying everything in his head.

Not just the conversation with his friends. But also, his talk with Amy. The text messages. The break-up. What led to it. And what came afterwards.

It was a mess. Such a mess. Everything.

He was angry at Amy. He was even more angry at himself.

But he also knew that Leonard was wrong.

This was not a matter of deciding what he wanted. From the beginning, there had never been a choice to make.

He wanted Amy back. Period.

He wanted their relationship back. Because, after everything was said and done, he knew there had never been a time in his life when he felt as happy and complete as he felt with her.

And so, he agreed with what his friends had said.

Amy had to own up for her actions and see his perspective. But he had to do the same thing. And in the end, if he wanted to have a future with Amy, they both had to let go of the past.

So, he pulled out his phone and texted her about what he had been thinking of lately.

Regrets…

Afterwards, as he put his phone back on the nightstand, he replayed her words in his mind.

'I regret breaking up with the love of my life.'

'I was angry and fed up but that wasn't reason enough to throw away five years.'

'She also regrets going out with other men. Because she hurt you with it and because it was pointless from the start.'

'Being with you is worth every challenge.'

And while he hadn't been sure before, what the outcome of his messages to her would be, he felt ready now. Ready to heal. Ready to forgive. And to ask for forgiveness.

And then… to move on.

From the break-up. The petty fighting. The fact that Amy had considered to be with someone else, even if only for a very short time.

From now on, this was going to be a dent in their history as a couple.

But did it really matter?

He had been mulling it over for days and now, finally, he felt truly ready to let go.

Not because he had to. But because he chose to.

He chose to empty his heart of all the disappointment and anger he had been feeling. The uncertainty. The fear of not being enough.

And he chose to let it fill with happiness again. Happiness and trust that they could take this ugly part of their history and use it to shape their beautiful future.

Amy

It was a mild, sunny afternoon, so Amy decided to walk to the coffee shop where she and Sheldon first met.

It was remarkable how much had changed within these five years. How different she felt. And how much more she was looking forward to this blind date with the same man in the same place.

She couldn't wait to see him again.

Although, part of her wondered how he was going to play this.

Was it really going to be a blind date? Was he going to pretend they were meeting for the first time?

Additionally, she wondered if they were going to address everything that had gone wrong between them.

She was still over the moon because of the beautiful text-conversation a few days earlier.

It had given both of them a chance to apologize and make their feelings known. But was it enough to move past everything?

Amy wasn't sure if Sheldon was still mad at her, but she really wanted to clear the air properly.

And so, there she stood. In front of the little coffee shop. Tapping her right foot on the ground nervously as she was looking for Sheldon.

She watched as he stepped out of the bus, and at least one of her questions was answered instantly when she saw his face.

His blue eyes were sparkling in the sun, and he was grinning widely, as he approached her with big steps.

She couldn't wait any longer either.

Skipping a few steps, she practically leaped forward, then fell into his open arms.

It was the epitome of a perfect moment as she felt his strong arms envelop her in a tight hug. His warmth. His sighs against her ear. It was almost too good to be true.

"Oh Sheldon…", she whispered against his chest as she ran her hands over his back. No matter how tightly she hugged him, she could not get close enough.

The first tears ran down his cheeks and she couldn't hold back her sobs any longer, as finally she could feel how all the tension and fear and hurt and heartbreak was leaving her body.

Her mind filled with happy memories from the past five years.

Date nights. Science talk. Made-up games. All those fascinating conversations.

All the things she had lost. All the things she was going to have in her life again.

Finally, she was able to breathe again.

"I missed you so much.", she whimpered.

"I missed you too.", she heard his voice against her ear. "Oh, Amy."

He hugged her even tighter, almost lifting her off the ground.

Her lips were trembling, and her heart was beating almost right out of her chest.

She was soaking it all in. His scent. His touch. And the feeling in her heart. The feeling that, from now on, things were going to be okay again.

Someone walked by and whistled at them, and so, far too soon, she was reminded of the fact they weren't exactly alone right now.

With great difficulty, she pulled herself away enough so she could look at Sheldon.

Gazing into his eyes, she noticed they were glassy, almost as if he had shed a few tears himself.

"Hi", he whispered, his quiet voice trembling with emotion.

"Hello.", she answered, biting her lips nervously.

She was longing to say so much more. To tell him how sorry she was. How much she had missed him.

And finally… she really, really wanted him to kiss her. But she guessed that this was not the right moment for that.

"So… do you want to go inside?", he asked. His eyes kept shifting to her lips. It seemed he was feeling the same way as her.

"Mhmm… yeah, we'll better…"

Reluctantly, they let go of each other, and Sheldon held the door open for her as they walked into the little coffee shop where they sat down in the exact same spot where they had talked to each other for the first time five years ago.

Amy kept stealing glances at Sheldon as they ordered their tea.

He looked so handsome.

Amy remembered thinking the same thing five years ago. And yet, he did not look exactly the same. His facial expression was much softer. His eyes more gentle. And his smile more open.

He was not the same man he had been back then, just as much as she wasn't the same woman.

And she knew, they both had sparked this change in each other. Together they had been able to grow. To heal from a lifetime when they had felt alone.

And even though, in a way, Amy had always known that, it was even more palpable now, after they had lost each other for so long.

"So, how have you been these past months?", she asked Sheldon as their tea was brought to the table.

"Okay, I guess.", he shrugged. "I… worked a lot. Spent time with the guys. Rewatched a few movies. And you?"

"Same.", Amy shrugged. "My new paper on brain lesions is coming along quite well. And I've started to knit a new sweater."

Sheldon nodded approvingly.

Amy sighed inwardly.

Even after their beautiful hug, it felt difficult to talk to Sheldon now.

The conversation didn't really seem to get going. And Amy knew exactly why that was.

Because as much as they wanted it to be… this wasn't really a first date.

And there were too many things between them that were unsaid.

It was time to get over this awkwardness again. Sheldon had taken the first step with his text messages to her. It was her turn to put herself out there and let him know what she was feeling.

"Sheldon, I am… so happy that we are here now.", she told him, her voice barely more than a whisper. "You have no idea what it meant to me, when we got matched again. It made me feel so… hopeful. As if I was stuck in the dark for so long and finally, a curtain opened and in came the sunlight."

"I…", he took a deep breath. "I guess… I felt the same way. Ever since you broke up with me, things just… did not feel right anymore."

A wave of remorse coursed through her.

"I'm sorry about that.", she said, biting her lips.

"You don't have to be.", he said, shaking his head. "It's… done."

"Still, I…", she swallowed deeply. "I just want you to know… I am really sorry. Not just about breaking up with you. But also… about what happened this past week."

"It's okay.", he answered, but she caught a flicker of pain in his eyes.

"It's not…", she said softly. "I messed up. And I…"

Tears sprang to her eyes again. For different reasons than before.

"I want you to know that… I understand why you were mad at me. And I regret the way I handled everything. And I hope that you can…"

"I don't want to dwell on the past, Amy.", he interrupted her. "I just…", he sighed. "I only have one question about it and then I want us to move on from it."

She swallowed dryly.

"Okay…"

He avoided her gaze as he asked his question, seemingly trying to keep his voice calm.

"Do you have… any residual feelings for Dave?"

Amy bit the inside of her cheeks. She had half-expected this question. It wasn't a hard one to answer. But it still made her feel ashamed.

"No.", she answered truthfully.

"Are you sure?", he asked, looking at her seriously. "Because from what I heard about him, I would understand if…"

"No, Sheldon.", she said again, shaking her head firmly. "I don't have residual feelings for him. Because I never… had feelings for him to begin with. That's… part of the reason why I felt the need to go out with him one final time."

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"I know I said I only had one question, but… I think I need you to explain how this makes any sense."

"Sheldon…", she sighed, hoping to find the right words this time. Words that helped both of them sort through the mess that was created by her. "The thing is… when you and I got matched again, I did not realize it until the next day. In fact… I hadn't seen your message when Dave called and asked me out. I said yes and then… when I realized we got matched, I completely forgot about him. And when, that night, he texted me the details for our date, my first thought was… well, obviously, that's not happening anymore."

"Huh…", he said, still looking confused. "I'm not sure I fully understand…"

"That's when it hit me. The only reason I went out with him in the first place was because I thought we were over for good, and I wanted to move on. It was never about Dave. I just used him to feel better about myself while I was heartbroken. All the while, he thought we were headed somewhere. And… I felt horrible. I never thought I was the kind of person to string someone along like this."

"So, you felt sorry for him."

"That was part of it.", she admitted. "I mean… he did nothing wrong. He just got caught in the crossfire of our break-up. And I've been thinking about it these past few days. I told myself I was doing Dave a favor by going out with him and explaining things to him in person. That I owed him that much. But I think… I mostly did it for myself. Because… I needed… not to be this person who would just play with someone's feelings like that. And I also told myself, it had nothing to do with you. That I could separate those two things in my life. But… that was a mistake. I should not have kept it from you. My mind was such a mess, I didn't realize how that must have looked to you. And I am sorry for hurting you and making you think that…"

Amy stopped her rambling, when Sheldon reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly.

She stared at their joined hands. His touch felt hot and soothing at the same time. It gave her goosebumps and calmed her down. Most of all, it made her heart soar.

"It's okay.", he whispered.

"It is?", she asked, trying to blink away her tears.

"Yes.", he nodded. "I think… I was never truly mad about you ending things with him in person. Just the thought of you going out with other men in the first place… I never liked that. It's… scary."

"I know.", she said, giving him a weak smile. "I felt the same way when you told me about asking out these women at the sports bar. I was so scared because you were moving on. It's what made me try to date in the first place."

"I'm sorry about that.", he told her softly. "I should not even have mentioned it to you. Hearing about Kripke's interest in you made me feel insecure. So, when the guys told me I should ask out another woman, I believed that maybe it would help me get over you. I was just glad they both said no. There would have been a Sheldon-shaped hole in the wall otherwise."

Amy couldn't help but chuckle at the image.

"Well, maybe I deserved to hear about it.", she admitted then. "I know I hurt you by breaking up with you. I gave up on us. And I have been regretting it every day since then."

"I'm sorry too. About how I behaved. You needed time. I should have respected that."

"And I should have explained to you, why I needed time in the first place. I should not have sprung that on you over Skype. I am sorry for that."

"Maybe I deserved that. I took you for granted for too long. And you were patient with me for longer than you probably should have. I'm sorry I did not realize it before you broke up with me."

All the while, Sheldon was holding her hand, caressing it with his thumb.

She squeezed his hand. "Well, that's an… intense conversation for a first date.", she said, giving him a weak smile.

"It is.", he nodded. "But it's good. We are both… owning up to what we did to get here. And now that we have… we can move on from it."

She smiled at him, wondering how he had come up with it. "Owning up to what we did and move on. I like that."

"Me too.", he said, smiling back at her warmly. "Then I suggest, we leave the past in the past now. And start over."

"Really?", she asked hopefully, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Yes.", he said firmly. "I'm not angry about Dave anymore. I choose not to be. I know I made mistakes too. Before and during our break-up…"

"I'm not angry anymore either.", she said quickly. "I don't want to be. It's in the past."

"Good.", he gave her another warm smile.

"Good.", she agreed, squeezing his hand back.

The awkwardness had been lifted and they spent the next half hour catching up. Talking about all the things they had not been able to tell each other these past months.

And somehow, the connection that had always been there between the two of them came back almost instantly.

Afterwards, Sheldon offered to walk her the short distance to her apartment.

It was still early when they stood in front of her building.

Sheldon turned to her and Amy felt a shiver run down her spine and her heart did a little flip when she saw the way he was gazing into her eyes.

So lovingly and hopeful.

"So…", she started, trying to decide if it was appropriate to ask him inside. "This was a really great first date."

"It was.", he agreed. "And I know, this is technically our first date, but… will you allow me to kiss you?"

Amy blinked.

The content of his last text messages entered her mind.

"I regret not kissing her more often."

"Of course.", she croaked.

His gaze never leaving hers, Sheldon took a tentative step closer to her.

Amy released a shuddering breath as he raised his hand, resting it gently on her cheek.

For a brief moment, she focused on the comfortable weight of his warm fingers, resting against her skin. She leaned into his touch, feeling the warmth spread through her body.

One moment, he seemed to pause. Studying her face as if he was memorizing her. His eyes full of wonder and a hint of vulnerability telling her everything she had to know.

Slowly, he leaned forward. Amy's eyes fluttered shut.

Everything around her… the sound of the cars passing by, the chirping of birds, the chatter of people walking past them just drowned out as the world seemed to quiet around them.

Sheldon's lips brushed against hers. Feather-light and cautious. As if he was just testing the waters.

Her lips parted as the kiss deepened only slightly, still gentle, yet filled with an intensity that made Amy's heart swell. She felt his hand move from her cheek to the back of her neck, his fingers threading through her hair in a way that was both tender and grounding.

She could feel the care in every movement, every touch, and she found herself unable to hold back any longer.

Standing on her tiptoes, she slung her arms around his shoulders. Tears were streaming down her face again, as she returned his kiss.

She could barely think clearly anymore. It had been too long since she had felt this much love in her heart. And she couldn't help but think how grateful she was.

Grateful, because she had him back in his life. Grateful that they had found each other again before they could have drifted apart too much. Grateful that neither of them had been seriously involved with anyone else in the meantime. That hers were the only lips that knew how it was to be touched by his like this.

When they finally parted, Sheldon's eyes lingered on her, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. Amy couldn't help but smile back, her heart fluttering as she felt a warmth blossom in her chest, spreading throughout her entire being.

"I love you.", she couldn't stop herself from saying.

His smile grew wider and there was a mischievous spark in his eyes.

"Well, that's a strange thing to say considering this is our first date."

Amy chuckled, as she slapped his shoulder lightly.

"For what it's worth.", he said, grazing her cheek with his knuckles. "I love you too."

Amy's breath caught in her throat as he pulled her close.

Their lips met again.

But this time, there was a familiarity in the kiss. A heat that went beyond the tentative first touch.

Sheldon's hand settled on her waist, pulling her just a bit closer, allowing himself to give into the connection they shared.

His other hand went back to her cheek, his thumb brushing softly against her skin as their lips moved together, slowly but with growing confidence.

With a sob, Amy melted into him, her hands sliding to rest against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her fingertips.

Every hesitation, every barrier that had been created between them seemed to dissolve into thin air as the kiss deepened.

Not with urgency, but with a promise. One that did not need words.

When they finally parted, Amy's lips were tingling. Sheldon's eyes were bright, his cheeks slightly flushed. Amy couldn't help but smile, her fingers lingering against his chest as she caught her breath, trying to hold onto the moment a little longer.

"That was…" Amy's voice was barely a whisper, her words trailing off as she searched for something, anything, that could express the emotions she was feeling.

"Perfect," Sheldon murmured, surprising her with his certainty.

Amy could only nod as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

"So," Sheldon said, his voice carrying a playful note. "Does this mean we're past the first-date jitters?"

Amy laughed, feeling a delightful lightness bubbling up in her chest. "I think we might be."

Sheldon's face softened, and he brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Good," he whispered, "because I think I'd like a second date."

Amy's heart sang as she looked up at him.

"Me too.", she agreed.

"What I'm saying is…", Sheldon cleared his throat. "I don't want to leave. I'd like to have a second date right now."

"Right… now?", Amy clarified, her stomach constricting in a delicious way as she saw the intense look in his eyes. "You mean…"

"Amy, I've been thinking.", he continued. "I love the way we reconnected. The texting. The first date at the same place as five years ago. But… I don't want to pretend that we're starting from scratch."

"You… don't?", Amy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "But…"

"I don't want to waste any more time, Amy.", he emphasized. "We aren't strangers that have met on the internet just a few weeks ago. And while we are starting fresh, I want us to take all the things we have learned into this new relationship. The experiences we made and the feelings we have for each other. I don't want to go backwards."

"O… okay?", she stuttered.

"I used to be afraid.", he whispered, surprising her again with his willingness to share his feeling with her. "Of what I feel for you. Of showing you and everyone else how vulnerable you make me. Of… the things you make me want. I fought it tooth and nails. I ran from it as long as I could. But when I lost you, I realized I was running in the wrong direction. And now… I don't want to hold back anymore. Not emotionally. And not physically. I... want this to be the date we should have had on our anniversary night. If that's alright with you."

"O… okay…", she repeated, annoyed at herself because the words seemed to be stuck in her throat.

"Is that… a yes?", he whispered, looking at her seriously.

Amy took a deep breath, her heart skipping a beat, as she pondered what he was saying.

Again, she thought about his text messages.

'I regret not making love to her.'

And she did not know if he was talking about that right now. She did not know what Sheldon's plans for their 'second date' were exactly.

In a way, it did not matter. Because after today… after their hug… the kisses… the admissions… she couldn't bear the thought of saying good-bye anyway.

She needed more time with him. To talk. To laugh. To kiss. To… feel. And she didn't even really wonder where this evening would take them exactly. Because it did not matter. As long as they were together.

"Sheldon…", she asked, gathering all the courage she could find in herself. "Would you like to come inside?"

So… I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for yet another cliffhanger!

I am not sure, when I will post the next chapter. One reason is that I'm playing a concert with my brother's concert band in almost exactly two weeks and I've been practicing like crazy. The even bigger reason is, we've run into a bit of a bad situation in my son's school. I don't want to bore you with the details, but the gist is, my son's teacher has been behaving in a way that is unacceptable. He's a very shy, introvert child and we've been trying to help him build up his self-esteem and get him out of his shell for all his life. Lately, he has been crying almost every day because he's afraid of going to school. And while, as a teacher myself, I have always tried to stay out of it as much as I can, there was now a line that has been crossed and so, tomorrow, I'm having a meeting with the teacher and the principal. Coincidentally, the principal was my third grade teacher thirty years ago, and I have no idea if I can see this as an advantage or not, but it is making me a bit anxious. So, depending on how the meeting goes and if I have to take further steps to ensure my son's well-being, I might not be able to focus very much on writing until this is resolved. I was glad to have this as a distraction today though, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you all for reading my stories!