Happy Valentine's Day to the best fandom in the world!

Although I did not have much time to write lately, I really wanted to post at least something for this holiday.

The start of this tale is rather sad, but I hope you will still enjoy it!

The Love Retrieval Chronicles
Tale 5 – "The Perspiration Implementation"
Part 1 of 2

Sheldon

"Anyway, uhm, it's nice to see you. You look good."

"Thanks. And I taste good too."

As Sheldon hopped up the stairs, he wondered why he had chosen these exact words.

In fact, just as he reached the top of the stairs leading to his apartment, he stopped in his tracks, his mind going through the conversation that had just happened.

He tried to figure out why it had put him into such a great mood just now.

The last time, a conversation with Amy had made him feel good was… a while ago.

Through the alcohol-induced fog in his brain, he replayed Amy's words.

"I said no."

Yup, that was it. That's what had fixed his mood just now.

Kripke… that sorry excuse for a scientist. The horny, desperate man who frequented strip clubs and brothels. He was even worse than Zach or Stuart. In what world could he think he was good enough for Amy?

For a few dreadful hours, Sheldon had felt terrified. Amy, kind-hearted as she was, could she actually see something in the man? Something that would lead her to giving him a chance?

It was just what Amy did. It was what she had done for him for five years, no matter how many people had warned her.

But by saying no to Kripke… she had made a gruesome image disappear from his mind.

Kripke and Amy. Holding hands in her lab where she could share more of her ideas with him, drinking wine like that infernal bottle the man had once gifted his then-girlfriend.

But she said no. She said no to Barry Kripke.

And even though Sheldon knew why he thought that any sane woman should say no to the man, he couldn't help but wonder… why?

Why had Amy said no? No to a theoretical physicist who valued her ideas? No to this man who would definitely not have anything against being physical with her. Why had she not at least given it a try, just like she had with Stuart or Zach?

Sheldon frowned.

He should have asked her, rather than tell her about his pointless attempts to ask out other women. He had no idea why he had even mentioned those.

Maybe… yes. Yes.

Sheldon nodded at himself determinedly, as he turned around.

He would follow her right now, as long as he still had the liquid courage inside of him and ask her why the hell she had said no.

He was ready to run down all flights of stairs, in the hope he would catch her before she got to her car. Or if that did not work, he was ready to take the next bus to her place.

He didn't even know why he needed this question answered. He just did.

But then, he stopped in his tracks again. It seemed he did not even have to leave his building after all.

There she was, sitting on the stairs, just a few feet from where he had left her minutes ago.

"Amy.", he exclaimed surprised, and a little out of breath. "What are you…"

She turned around and the words died in his throat.

That look on her face… her eyes…

Was she… crying?

"Amy?", he asked carefully. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

She got up from the stairs, quickly wiping her face with a tissue she had been holding.

"Oh… no, Sheldon, I was just… feeling a bit dizzy. Probably had a drink too many at girls' night. I was just about to leave…"

She was feeling dizzy?

In a fraction of a second, he forgot why he was really here. There was no space in his brain for anything other than worrying about her well-being.

"Why didn't you say so before? You should not have let Bernadette leave. I can get Leonard. He'll drive you home. Or better yet. To a doctor."

"No, it's okay, I…", she cleared her throat audibly. "I… uhm… maybe I'll just need a little fresh air. I don't mean to… uhm… hold you up. I suppose you're… going back to the bar to try your luck again?"

Sheldon furrowed his eyebrows.

What was she talking about?

Back to the bar? Why would she think…

"I'm not… going out.", he told her, shaking his head in confusion. "I just returned. It would be highly illogical to go out again."

"Oh.", she said tonelessly, avoiding his gaze. "Then what are you doing here?"

What was he doing here?

Oh right. There it was again. His earlier question. Flooding back into his brain. Demanding to be answered.

"Why did you say no to Kripke?", he blurted out.

"Wh… what?", she croaked, taking a step backwards.

"You like Kripke.", he pointed out. "You shared an idea with him once. You call him by his first name. You were happy about the wine he gave you. Why do you not want to date him?"

She bit her lip, one of her hands fumbling with the string of her purse.

"Because…", she started hesitantly. "I don't want to date Barry Kripke."

Well, that did not answer anything now, did it?

"Why?", he pressed.

"Sheldon, could we please not do this?", she huffed. "I'm not interested in Barry Kripke. I never was. Why do you want me to date him?"

Why did he… was she out of her mind?

"I most certainly do not want you to date him.", he exclaimed. "I challenged him to a duel because he expressed interest in you."

That made her look up finally.

"Y… you did?", she croaked.

He rolled his eyes. Hadn't he told her before?

"I told you not to get too attached to him.", he reminded her.

"But…", she shook her head. "But… why?"

He rolled his eyes again. Wasn't it obvious?

"Because he shouldn't ask you out.", he said defensively. "It's… inappropriate."

"Inappropriate.", she deadpanned.

It was Sheldon's turn to avoid her gaze.

Yes. It was inappropriate. More than that. It was infuriating. None of this should have happened.

Amy should not be available to be asked out by anyone but him. She should still be his girlfriend. Better yet, she should be engaged to him.

And maybe wearing a big sign around her neck.

With big, red, capital letters.

'SHELDON COOPER'S FIANCÉE. HANDS OFF.'

But he knew that was only wishful thinking.

"Nevertheless… I wonder why you turned him down.", he said, trying to steer the conversation back to where it had started. "I mean… word on the street is… dating is the best way to move on and…"

Her expression hardened.

"That might be working for you.", she hissed.

"What?", he asked slightly taken aback the tone of her voice.

"You couldn't wait to rub my nose in it, could you?", she said accusingly. "About asking out not only one but two women in a bar."

How he wished he hadn't told her.

But in a way… she did not have a right to accuse him of anything. He had done nothing wrong.

"Why would you care?", he exclaimed. "You broke up with me, remember? I can ask out as many women as I want."

"You were never interested in dating.", she went on, ignoring his statement. "I had to jump through hoops to get you to express any kind of interest in our relationship. I was patient with you for years and years and after five years I was still begging for your attention. And then, the minute I give up you decide you actually want to date? And then you go out and approach several random women?"

"Amy…"

"I thought…", she chuckled dryly, then shook her head disbelievingly. "I thought you would be thrilled to be single again. To finally not having to do all these relationship-things that you supposedly hate so much. But maybe you just hated doing these things with me, if you are so eager to… move on with another woman."

"That's not…", he started to protest again, but to no avail.

"And how can you be ready to move on already?", she continued her rant. "When the fact that Barry Kripke asked me out today broke my heart all over again."

Whatever he had wanted to say in his defense, it disappeared from his brain, as he felt his stomach drop.

"It… broke your heart?"

She looked on the floor, not giving him an answer.

"Why… did it break your heart?", he pressed. "I thought, it would make you happy…"

"How can I be happy?", she exclaimed, blinking away a tear. "I mean… yes, I felt flattered for a second but then it was just a painful reminder that… I am in a position where someone can ask me out. And I realized that… I'm not done healing yet. I need more time. We were together five years. You don't just get over that in mere weeks. Or maybe you do. But I… I…", her voice trailed off, and she just breathed out shakily, as she sat back down on the stairs, seemingly trying to calm herself down.

He wasn't sure how to feel about any of this. But all the angry energy he had felt before… it was gone now. And there was the emptiness again.

He shrugged, before he sat down next to her, unable to hold himself up anymore.

"I'm not done healing either.", he confessed. "I did not want to ask out anyone tonight… I just…"

"You just… what?", she asked softly, still not looking at him.

"I heard about Kripke and… I felt upset and restless. Just like back when you went out with Stuart. Only the situation was different. I did not have the same option as I did then. And… the guys told me to try and find someone new. I thought to myself… why not. I just knew, I had to get rid of this… horrible feeling one way or another."

"Oh… she breathed out.

"But it did not help even a bit. I guess… I'm not ready to move on either.", he admitted. "I don't know if I'll ever be."

"Oh…", she repeated.

He wished she would say more. Something to make this strange uncertainty disappear. Something to help him understand what this weird situation between them meant.

But she just remained silent. And with every second, his heart grew heavier.

"Amy, do you think that… at some point you will be dating another man?", he asked, surprised by how shaky his voice sounded.

And then, as soon as the question had left his mouth, he wished he hadn't asked it. Because he was not sure if he was ready to hear her answer.

"I mean…", she shrugged. "I guess… eventually. That was… the plan."

"Was?", he clarified. "Or… is?"

"I…", she shook her head, her eyes filling with more tears. "I don't know. This is… so messy. I… I shouldn't even still be here. And yet, here I am. Sitting on the stairs in your apartment building. And I don't believe I could ever..."

His heart was beating faster than before. Hope started to well up in his heart. Until he heard her next question.

"Do you think it'll ever get easier? Being broken up, I mean?"

He finally dared to look at her again.

She looked sad as she asked it. And here he had hoped she was reconsidering her stance.

"How would I know?", he asked, raising his eyebrows at her. "I never wanted to be broken up in the first place."

"I just want us both to be happy.", she continued, again ignoring his remark. "I really do. And for that to happen one day, we need to move on. From us."

She was wrong. In his heart he knew she was wrong.

"Why?", he dared to ask. "Why do we have to move on? If we both find it so hard?"

"Sheldon…", she said, in the same tone she had always used when she had explained a social situation to him. "I can't go on missing you for the rest of my life. And you can't go on challenging every man who asks me out to a duel. Maybe… you were right asking out these two women today. And maybe I should try too."

"No.", he wanted to shout. "No, this is a bad idea."

She was missing the point completely. They still had another option.

"Why can't we just… move on together?", he would ask her.

"To… together? But how…"

He wouldn't let her overanalyze this right now. Not when they were so close to a breakthrough.

So, he would just act.

In a fraction of a second, he would move his hand to her cheek, holding her firmly before his lips would descend on hers.

His other hand would weave into her hair, as he would deepen the kiss, coaxing her lips open with his.

She would feel amazing. Just as he remembered her. Her scent and her sounds. The way she would melt into him. The way she would embrace him.

Their lips would move slowly, savoring every taste and every touch. Her cheeks would feel wet with tears, and he would hear her soft whimpers as she would kiss him back sensually.

"Amy…", he would breathe out. "Oh, Amy."

He would move one hand from her cheek to her back, pulling her body closer to his.

"Come with me.", he would plead.

"With… you?", she would ask, searching his eyes. "You mean…"

"To the apartment.", he would tell her. "Let's spend the evening together. Or… the night if you want. Come to bed with me. Please."

"To bed? You mean…"

"Yes. To bed. Spend the night with me in my bed. Let me make love to you. Let me worship you. And then let's never talk about breaking up again. Let's get married. Let's buy a house and start a family. Let's just be… happy and together for the rest of our lives."

Yes. This was exactly what Sheldon Cooper wanted to happen right there, sitting on the stairs next to his ex-girlfriend.

He wanted it so much, he could see it clearly in front of him. He could feel it. Touch it. Smell it. Taste it.

It was only a heartbeat away. All it would take was a little bit of courage.

But the thing was… he had run out of courage. And not even all the sips of beer in the world could give it back right now.

Not today. Not after the past months.

Amy might still miss him. Maybe she even still loved him. But she had made it clear that she did not want him anymore.

She hadn't wanted the man he was on their anniversary. And the man he was today… only a shadow of who he used to be… well, he couldn't blame her for not even considering it.

And so, when she said the words that hurt him more than she could say…

"Maybe… you were right asking out these two women today. And maybe I should try too."

All he could do was nod.

"Maybe you have a point.", he whispered.

She gave him a weak smile, then softly patted his shoulder before she got up.

"Goodbye, Sheldon.", she said. "It was nice… talking to you again."

"It was.", he croaked.

He could barely watch as she walked away.

"Amy!", he shouted, one last weak attempt to turn his luck around. To gather his self-esteem and to at least try.

"Yes?", she said, turning around, an expression on her face that he couldn't quite place.

"I…", the lump in his throat barely let him speak. "I just…", he shook his head, scrambling for words. And then he decided, he could at least give her a better goodbye than the one before. "You… you look good too."

She was silent for a few seconds. Sheldon looked down on the floor, unable to look at her face anymore.

"Thanks.", she whispered then.

After that, there were only steps.

And then silence.

Amy

"And then what? You just… left?"

"But… I don't get it, Amy. Why would you do that? Why… did you not stay and talk it out?"

Amy sighed deeply, then took another sip of her second Martini of the night.

"I couldn't.", she said sadly, looking at her friends across the table, hoping to find at least an ounce of understanding in their faces.

"But why?", Bernadette asked after a short pause. "It seemed like the perfect opportunity. All you had to do was tell him you want him back."

"I know.", she croaked. Tears were welling up in his eyes again, like it had happened several times today.

"You do… want him back, right?", Penny asked. "I mean… all signs are pointing to it."

"I don't know what I want.", Amy confessed. "Do I still love Sheldon? Of course I do. Do I miss him? Only every second of every day. Do I think I made a mistake breaking up with him…"

"Well, you can bet your ass you think that… And the more I hear... the more I have to tell you, I agree.", Bernadette finished for her. "Which is why I don't understand…"

"You love him, but you still have your doubts.", Penny tried to explain the situation. "You want him back but you want things to be different and you don't know if he wants that too."

"Well, yes.", Amy agreed. "I spent a good amount of time missing him while we were still together. I know he loves me. But he never loved being a boyfriend. And to hear that he asked out other women… I know I broke up with him. I know I have no right... But still..."

"Why is that such a big problem for you?", Bernadette asked. "I mean… that's what people do when they break up, right?"

"People, yes.", Penny snorted. "Sheldon, however…"

"It just hurts, you know?", Amy confessed. "And I don't care if it sounds whiny. From the beginning, I had to do all the heavy lifting in this relationship. If I wanted progress, I had to make it happen. I had to be so careful. Never ask for too much. Always be prepared for rejection. And I never really minded, because I know that all those little steps, we took… to Sheldon they were huge. Every single bit of progress was proof of how much he cared for me. I know all that. But…"

"But?", both her friends asked at the same time.

Amy huffed. It sounded so needy, even in her head. But she couldn't help it.

After all, there was a reason she wanted to take a step back from Sheldon in the first place.

"Do you realize, I would have killed for being asked out by Sheldon like that. You know, just like that. Just… having this handsome, brilliant man come up to me, telling me he wants to go out with me. Having him be the one to… woo me. To show interest. To actually want me. To… make things just a little easier. It kills me to know he did that for someone else. And the women who rejected him… they don't even realize how lucky they were. To be asked out by Sheldon Cooper… I just…"

She took another deep breath.

"I love him so much. And I wish I could go back to the staircase and tell him… oh…"

She couldn't say it. Couldn't tell them of her dream. Of asking to be his girlfriend again. Of kissing right there on those stairs. Of following him to his apartment and…

"Maybe it's not too late.", Bernadette said softly, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"What?", she asked. "But I just told you… I mean you agree with me… right?"

Her friends exchanged a weird look.

It only now occurred to her that they had done the same thing several times today.

"Amy… am I right in assuming that… you would still consider it a good thing if Sheldon… I mean… you would still want him to… make an effort. Right?"

"Uhm…", she furrowed her brows, trying to make sense of this strange question.

"You would be happy, right?", Penny asked. "If he showed up here at the bar… the same bar where we once took him to girls' night and… asked you out. If he proved to you that he is willing to make the first step for once and… showed you he wants you. You would be willing to go out with him. And then, eventually… to talk about reconciliation. Right?"

"Penny what are you talking about?", Amy asked, now more than just confused. She hadn't even noticed they were at that bar.

It hurt to think about the things that happened afterwards.

The dancing. Taking him to her place. The kiss she still couldn't really remember.

"Just consider it for a moment.", her friend told her firmly.

"I mean…", Amy shook her head. Why were her friends torturing her like this. "Yes.", she finally confessed. "God, there's nothing I would want to happen more than that right now. But Sheldon… he would never… especially not after the way I broke his heart. He wouldn't... But oh, I want him to..."

"Okay.", Penny said, sounding almost too casual. "Thank you for your honesty."

"I need to go to the bathroom.", Bernadette said all of a sudden. "Penny, will you go with me please?"

The girls stood up instantly but stopped Amy when she tried to do the same.

"Someone has to watch our drinks.", Penny reminded her. "We cannot be too careful."

"But I…"

She wanted to scold her friends for leaving her hanging. For interrupting the conversation and leaving her alone with her heart wide open. But they were gone already.

"Seems about right.", she muttered to herself, taking another sip of her drink.

But she startled when a waiter appeared next to her.

"Excuse me, miss.", he said as he set down another drink at her table. "Courtesy of the gentleman at the bar."

Amy shook her head, more than a little annoyed.

"My friend Penny is at the bathroom.", she told him. "You might want to wait…"

"Oh no, he specifically told me to give this to the – and I quote – cutest brown-haired vixen with the most beautiful mind in the bar."

"Wh…", the words stuck in her throat.

Was it possible?

She turned around to face the bar, and there he was.

It all happened so fast, it made her head spin.

Sheldon was walking towards her. Dressed in dark jeans and a light-blue collared shirt. His hands in his pockets, looking slightly nervous.

But God, was he handsome.

"Sheldon…", she whispered, barely able to breathe as he stood in front of her. "What are you…"

"I changed my mind.", he told her, looking at her seriously. "I don't think it is a good idea to try and move on. Unless… we move on together."

He was continuing their conversation from the stairwell, she realized. But... how was it possible...

"T… together?", she stuttered in response. "But…"

"If you miss me and I miss you… then why would we move on from each other? Wouldn't it be more logical to… move on together from being broken up?"

Damn it, he was making so much sense. And she... she couldn't think anymore. Not with his intense blue eyes staring her down the way he was.

"But…", she repeated.

"I mean, we gave it a fair shot.", he pointed out. "We were broken up for a while. It's not working for me. And I think… it isn't working for you either. Or… is it?"

The way he looked at her. So determined. So self-assured.

She couldn't believe it was the same man she had left on the stairwell.

How she had wanted him to tell her to stay. To fight for her. To tell her all the things he was telling her now.

She couldn't believe he was here now.

How did he even know he would find her here?

"Wait.", she finally exclaimed. "The girls… they are in on this. Aren't they? Oh those… sneaky witches."

Sheldon gave her a small smile, and Amy wasn't sure what to think of this situation.

Part of her wanted to be mad. But it did not stand a chance against the other part of her. The one that was jumping for joy and excitement.

"May I sit?", he asked her softly.

Only now it occurred to her that she still owed him an answer to his earlier question.

"Of course.", she agreed. "Sheldon, I'm sorry, I…"

"Yes, Amy.", he interrupted her. "Our friends are aware of this. I had no idea what to do and I asked for their help, because ever since you left the other night… I just knew the way we parted… it was a mistake. And I needed to rectify it, because…"

"Because?", she asked, her heart jumping in her chest.

"Because I cannot lose you.", he breathed out. "And I know I haven't always been the best boyfriend. But I want to do better. And I want to start tonight."

"T… tonight?", she asked, feeling stupid for again repeating his words.

"Amy…", he cleared his throat, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "What I meant to say from the beginning is that I… I was… sitting at the bar when I noticed you, I couldn't help but think… what a shame it is. A pretty lady like you, all by yourself. And I would very much like to invite you to go out with me. Right now."

She couldn't help but grin at the sheer craziness of this situation.

I was sitting at the bar... I noticed you... A pretty lady like you...

It felt like a dream. But better.

Of all the possible ways this conversation could have gone… this wasn't one she would ever have imagined in her wildest dreams.

"You are asking me out?", she asked him softly. "After… everything? After all the pain I caused you… you still want us to try? Really?"

She still felt guilty for the way she had broken up with him. For not trying to talk to him. For shutting him out completely.

"Yes", he breathed out as he took her hand. "Because… as I told you… I've heard it's a good way to…"

"To move on.", she said, her eyes filling with tears as she finally understood what this night was about. "To move on… together."

"Is that a yes?", he clarified.

It was an easy decision.

Because yes, maybe he hadn't always been the boyfriend she deserved, but on the other hand, maybe she could have also handled certain things better.

Which she would. From now on.

"Yes.", she murmured, before she squeezed his hand tightly. "Oh God, yes."

In the distance, she heard her friends cheer loudly. But she did not even look at them.

She only had eyes for Sheldon and the sheer hapiness on his face.

Her drink was forgotten, so was the planned night of gossip.

"So, may I ask what you have in mind?", she asked her suitor, as he led her out of the bar.

"You'll see soon enough.", he promised ominously, making a shiver run down her spine.

She couldn't wait to find out.

So… I hope you enjoyed this first part, even though I know this is a lot less than what I did last year for Valentine's Day.

To be honest, I had a completely different plan in the making. I was rereading some of my older stories and that got me in the mood to finally start my collection of short stories from the "As it is in Heaven"-universe. I had already outlined and started to write a Valentine's special from the perspective of all the "big" couples from that universe set maybe two or three years in the future. I know I have been promising this collection for a while and I don't even know how many of you still remember that universe, but I really wanted to finally get started on it.

But then, life got in the way again and so I have to delay this project. I will get it started as soon as I can, just maybe not with a Valentine's Day-themed story (unless it will take me another year to get it done, which I certainly hope won't be the case). I am only telling you about it, because I want you to know, I haven't forgotten my promises (and yes, that includes a certain M-rated continuation of a certain chapter), and I still plan on seeing it through. I really hope some of you will still be interested in it, when I get to it.

Now, to this story: I am almost sure that there will be only one more part to this tale. I will post the second part (the big date) as soon as I can and until then, I wish you all a pleasant Valentine's Day!