Chapter Twelve - Undesirable Number One
The sun had finally climbed its way down the darkening summer sky, allowing the large tent over the celebrating wedding party to be surrounded by illuminating floating candles. A sparkling chandelier was hovering in the air over the wooden dance floor as Remus watched Bill and Fleur step into the center and start their first dance as husband and wife. Seeing the way they were looking at each other, so entranced and so very in love and happy with each other, Remus held the memory of dark obsidian eyes at bay, out of reach, out of sight in his mind, where it couldn't hurt him. He heard Tonks sighing out besides him, and he turned his head to see her admiring the newly married couple.
Is that what Tonks wanted with Charlie? Or perhaps she had once wanted that with him?
The wedding ceremony was beautiful today. There hadn't been a dry eye among the wedding guests. Even Tonks poked a bit of fun at Remus for supposedly looking as if he were shedding a tear or two.
Everyone clapped and cheered as Bill spun Fleur around then lifted her up, ending the dance with a deep kiss. The music then sped up and Arthur led Molly onto the dance floor, followed by Fleur's parents, signaling for everyone else to join.
Remus bowed and held out his hand to Tonks, "Mademoiselle, care to dance?" he asked her.
Tonks giggled and smiled, pretending to fan herself with her wand. "Why, I would love to, you kind sir."
Remus took her hand and kissed the back of it, then spun her around onto the dance floor. Tonks' shimmery dark-purple dress twirling out around her. Then when the last fast-paced song ended and a new slower song started, Remus and Tonks slowed down to match the beat of it. She threw her arms around his neck, and Remus placed his hands around her waist.
Their eyes met, Tonks' purple eyes matched the color of her dress. She wore her hair long and curled, flowing down her back in light-pink waves. Remus could feel the small of her bump against him.
"What?" Tonks laughed, her cheeks blushing a bit. "You have a weird look on your face."
"You just look very beautiful and vibrant tonight," Remus admitted. "It's nice to see you as you again." Since her mentor had passed and her belly had grown, Tonks had been wearing nothing but her Auror robes and her hair pixie-cut short.
Tonks rolled her eyes at that. "The ceremony was beautiful, Fleur is beautiful, not me…"
Remus frowned at that, watching how her eyes traveled over to Bill and Fleur holding each other close as they swayed to the slow beat of the music. They were lost in each other.
"Are you okay?" Remus asked with concern. "You're drifting away on me here."
"I'm fine, I'm just kind of feeling sorry right now…that we could never be like that…that we could never be. I really liked you for a moment there, Remus, I was falling hard with nothing to hold on to…and I'm sorry it made me so crazy, I'm sorry it landed us in a mess."
The regret in her voice was heavy and hard to hear, but Remus knew she was only speaking of what she was feeling inside. She couldn't help it, and Remus knew it was hard to just turn off those sorts of feelings, to just simply get over them. It took time, lots of time.
"Dora, don't be sorry, I'm the one who is. I'm deeply sorry for everything."
And he meant it. He meant every word. He loved her, really he did, but not in that soul crushing way. Not in that desperate falling and scary way that he was willing to risk everything for. That had been with Severus, always only for Severus. Remus' heart ached. It ached and oh, it ached and Remus feared it would never stop. He would carry it around forever.
Was that how Tonks felt about him?
That fact that he himself had caused that type of hurt to his best friend, he should've stayed away when the signs were just starting to show themselves. He should've listened to Severus when he warned him, and Remus was really just deeply sorry for all of it, for allowing it to get so far. He hadn't meant it to. He had just wanted a friend, but clearly they were never on the same page. He'd been blind, so blind to Tonks, and now look at them, fighting their way out of the wreckage of their friendship.
At least they were both still trying. Somehow they found themselves fighting for the same thing, for each other, for things to be easy between them again. Dancing with Tonks, Remus felt like maybe there was still hope for their friendship to survive this.
"No, don't you apologize. Listen, Remus, how the hell did things get so messy between us? Let's just fucking fix it and swear to each other that we'll never allow this to happen again. I can't lose you as my best friend. That is more unbearable than anything else for me."
Remus sighed at her words. He had no idea when things got so messed up, truly he didn't, but he agreed with what she was saying.
"I guess shit just happens," Tonks added.
"Hear, hear," Remus answered, spinning her around.
That finally caused Tonks to laugh. Remus laughed along with her, spinning her around again and again, causing the other dancers to move out of their way until she stopped and took the lead from Remus, spinning him around until they were both dizzy and swaying together again. Remus was surprised to find himself feeling more at ease with her like the early days of their friendship growing, and by the way Tonks was looking at him with humor in her eyes and affection, he knew she was feeling the same way as well.
"I'm not holding you down, you know," Tonks said more seriously, laying her cheek on Remus' shoulder as they continued dancing. "What Vector said, of you can't giving me what I want, I know that, and I'm not ever going to force you into anything with me. I only expect you to be the best father you can be, and that is where it ends…"
She pulled away from him so that she could look at Remus as she spoke. He listened in silence.
"Even if we end up not being able to get our shit together, if we can no longer be best friends as we used to be, this baby is the only thing that will matter between us, even our friendship, Remus, as much as it hurts to think about you no longer in my life anymore, our baby has to come first."
"You are right. The baby will always come first, but Dora, don't you worry about us, no matter what, even if you can't bear to look at me anymore, I'll always consider you as one of my best friends."
And with that, Remus spun her around again, then kissed her on the cheek right as the song ended.
Then suddenly, Charlie was there. His blue eyes were shy. "Do you mind if I cut in, Remus?"
"Are you okay with Charlie taking over?" Remus turned to Tonks.
She smiled softly at Charlie, "Yes, I promised you a dance, didn't I?" she said to Charlie.
"Well, in that case…" Remus stepped back, passing Tonks' hand to Charlie.
And the way Charlie looked at Tonks, Remus just hoped that somehow or someway, something uncomplicated and real could start between the two. He just wanted his best friend to be happy. To find what Remus had found with Severus. He just couldn't let her settle with him, not when Remus couldn't love her like that. He couldn't do that to her. Remus truly wanted more for his dearest friend.
With that last thought in mind, Remus made his way to the table full of stacked self-refilling champagne glasses. He cautiously took one for himself and another for Harry, glancing around the tent in search of his cub. He found Harry sitting at a table watching the dance floor. Observing the scene, Remus noticed that Ginny was in Harry's line of sight, dancing with Luna Lovegood. He took the champagne glasses to the table and sat down across from his cub.
"Hey, papa," Harry muttered.
"Enjoying the party?" he asked his son.
"Sort of," Harry answered, tugging at his collar. "I just wished we didn't have to dress so fancy for it."
"Hey, if it were up to me we would all be wearing whatever the hell we wanted," Remus chuckled.
"Ron said the same thing," Harry said, his eyes still on Ginny.
It was strange to talk to Harry and not be able to see his normal appearance. Harry was under the disguise as a red-headed boy, thanks to a Poly-Juice Potion from Kingsley. He was going by the persona of a distant Weasley cousin.
"Here," Remus said, handing him a glass. "Weddings do really suck when you're single. It just makes you feel as if you're going to be alone forever. Do you know how many times I've been asked about mine and Tonks' own wedding tonight?" He leant over to Harry and whispered, "Between you and me, I think that rumor has really gotten out of hand."
Harry scoffed at that, "You think?"
Remus shrugged as Harry took the offered glass, wrinkling his nose at the smell.
"You're giving me champagne?"
"Yes, let's make a toast and enjoy your first drink as an adult."
"Okay," Harry agreed with a grin. "What are we toasting to?"
Remus held up his glass. "To us."
Harry gave Remus a quizzical look but still said, "To us," then took a small sip and gagged. "Ugh yeah, champagne is not my cup of tea either. I think it's worse than…"
Remus drank his champagne and looked at Harry, it was his turn to be confused.
Harry paused at his look then sheepishly smiled, "I have something to admit."
"What is it?"
"This isn't my first drink of alcohol, and I'm not talking about the shot of firewhiskey I had during Moody's funeral."
Remus narrowed his eyes at that. "I need an explanation."
Harry's smile disappeared, his eyes suddenly clouding with that awful pain they shared, and because of that, he knew it had to do with Severus. Remus hated that they were brown, that they weren't his son's own bright-green eyes behind round glasses. He wanted to see Harry as himself as his cub leaned closer to him and whispered about the last full-moon before everything changed. How he'd found Severus on the Astronomy tower drinking out of a red wine bottle and being offered a taste of it, how awful the wine was, but strangely Harry wanted to try it again, and how Severus had managed to pull himself out of his strange dark mood to laughed at Harry's reaction.
"He's never drunk like that in front of me, and he just kept saying how proud of me he was, how I've grown up on him. He was just so sad that night, papa, as if he were carrying something heavy inside of him and he wouldn't talk to me about it… I wished he did though… Why didn't I just ask him? I remember how much I wanted to that night. Do you think he would've told me if I had?"
Remus sighed out as he heard that, "I… I'm sorry, cub, I don't think he would've told you anything. He and I fought so much over it and he never revealed a single thing to me."
"But how do you know that?" Harry's voice hitched up a bit with desperation. It made Remus' heart break just hearing it. "Maybe he was just afraid of how we would react. If I would've asked, maybe…"
"Remus, I'm sorry to interrupt…" They both looked up to see Bill standing over them. "Can I have a word with you?"
Remus apologetically looked at Harry. "I'll be back, then maybe we can escape to somewhere quieter to talk, okay?"
Harry nodded, looking away.
Remus reached out and squeezed Harry's shoulder then regretfully left him there to follow Bill outside of the tent.
They walked a few paces outside of it with Remus wondering what it was that Bill wanted to talk to him about that was important enough to be discussed on his wedding day.
"The ceremony was beautiful, Bill," Remus passed on his congratulations to the young red-haired man. "It's clear you and Fleur are really in love with each other."
"You know I'm relieved that it's done, that Fleur and I are finally married and no matter what happens, as long as Fleur and I have each other we can get through it. Is that what you and Tonks felt after you married?"
Remus could only nod to that, listening as Bill went on. He wasn't fooled, the younger man was stalling. It worried Remus even more.
"You know, Remus, if it wasn't for the war, Fleur and I would've waited. She wanted us to travel first, see the world before choosing where to settle down, and so I promised her, I promised that will be the first thing we do once this is all finally over. It will be our honeymoon trip, a mission to find her favorite place to settle down and perhaps raise a few kids."
Remus could see it, he realized as he listened. He could see a future where the war was done and over, and Bill and Fleur were off… "Finding your very own corner of the world, that sounds nice, Bill, but why aren't you inside there dancing with your lovely wife and planning this honeymoon?" Remus gestured towards the tent.
Bill stopped walking, his face paling just a bit. "I'm sorry for keeping you. This is my wedding, I didn't want to bring up such serious matters but it's important. I just wanted to make sure you knew."
Remus looked at Bill and waited in silence, his stomach twisting with an ugly feeling.
"Have you happened to read the Daily Prophet this morning?"
Remus shook his head, seeing the seriousness grow even more on Bill's face. "There was a werewolf attack, wasn't there?"
"Sort of…" Bill frowned.
"It wasn't a full-moon last night," Remus stated, looking up at the crescent moon against the inky blue sky.
"No, it isn't how you're thinking. It was a woman. She was a registered werewolf. She was taken just after the last full-moon, disappeared with signs of struggle where she'd changed.
"She was taken by whom exactly? The Ministry? Death Eaters? Greyback?"
"That's exactly what we are worried about. The Prophet didn't say, they skirted around that question, and it seemed as if no one really cared. This isn't the first attack either, a young man was taken just a few hours apart from the woman, not a lot of information shared either, just that he was a registered werewolf. He'd changed in his basement and when his family had gone to get him in the morning, he was gone. You see, it's easy to believe them as wolves running off and changing back into humans somewhere else…" Bill then looked Remus in the eye as he said, "But you know what this could mean, Remus, it's obvious to us at least what it could be."
Remus knew what Bill was getting to, the way Bill was looking at him, worried for his reaction and so serious about the situation. Of course Remus knew what he wasn't saying aloud, and the thought of it was shaking him to the core.
They started walking again, this time they were behind the tent, with the field on one side. It loomed over them, nothing but darkness between the stalks. Remus suddenly shivered despite the warm summer night.
"It's another werewolf training camp, isn't it?" Remus finally said once they walked the entire pathway and were back near the entrance to the tent.
Bill nodded. "It seems very likely. Just be on your guard, we can't lose you to that again. Especially now."
Remus glanced inside the tent, immediately catching sight of his cub looking as if he were in a deep conversation with the Weasley's Aunt Murial and Elphias Doge. He wondered what on earth they could be talking about.
"Remus?" Bill called out to him with worry.
"Registered werewolves being taken…"
"So far, yes."
"Is it possible someone had gotten a Ministry classified document listing every registered werewolf and their private information?"
"Yes or it could mean…" Bill said with thought, "That the Ministry of Magic has officially been infiltrated…"
As Bill continued on with his theories, they both fully stepped inside the tent and Remus felt his wolf suddenly perk up, causing him to stop in his tracks, feeling himself stiffen. Something was coming. His wolf could sense it, something that was a danger to it and Remus. He could imagine the fur on the back of the wolf's neck rising.
Bill must've noticed the sudden change in Remus, he stopped talking, looking at Remus with a concerned frown. He had just caught sight of Fleur dancing with her little sister when suddenly the lights went out. The sudden darkness froze him and everyone else with shock. Remus swiped his tongue over his teeth, feeling the appearance of the wolf's fangs.
It was silent in the tent for just one second, then the sound of a dropped champagne glass shattered it, followed by sudden screams of panic and voices filled with fear began to fill the tent. The wolf growled with agitation, then let out a howl, warning Remus to run.
"Harry!" Remus shouted, he bolted his way through, blindly shoving people out of the way. It was so dark and packed with people and even with his enhanced werewolf vision, Remus could barely see.
"Fleur!" Bill's voice full of panic was so loud behind him.
Then the tent suddenly lit up with blue light. Everyone stopped moving, including Remus. Everyone except for Bill who pushed his way past Remus to get to his wife.
A patronus of a glowing blue lynx was suddenly standing in the middle of the dance floor, causing everyone to form a circle around it, waiting with stunned silence and bated breaths to hear its message.
"The Minister of Magic has fallen…" Kingsley's voice echoed. "Rufus Scrimgeour is dead." Gasps of shock followed. "They are coming… They are coming…" In the background of Kingsley's voice, screams could be heard along with the terrifying sounds of running, spells being fired and people being hurt. "Run!" Then the Patronus disappeared and Arthur shot his wand at the lights, turning them back on. The sudden tension of the wards lifted, allowing people to Disapparate immediately out of the tent.
"You heard the patronus," Arthur shouted. "Go!"
People all around Remus immediately began Disapparating away, and it happened so fast. Loud pops of Apparation mingled with the pops of Disapparation, causing more voices of panic and confusion to fill up the tent. Aurors had arrived or perhaps Death Eaters, maybe both, Remus didn't know and he didn't wait another second. He shoved his way through the crowd, searching for Harry and Tonks. Ignoring the wolf's panicked cries to get out of the tent.
A spell shot straight towards Remus and he blocked it. Suddenly he found himself locked in with a bulky wizard dressed in Auror robes. As they dueled, Remus noticed the tent began to light up with the colors of different spells as more duels began to break out around him. He shot out another spell in annoyance, trying to shake his opponent off.
"Remus!"
Remus couldn't turn to see who it was that called him. The attacks from the Auror he was dueling with were becoming faster. Remus had no trouble keeping up. He was just waiting for his time to finally overpower him. But he recognized that voice, causing him to breathe with relief. At least he knew Tonks was okay.
They dueled back and forth until the Auror suddenly lost his balance and Remus took that time to stupefy him. He backed away quickly towards Tonks who was dueling with a witch wearing the same red Auror robes. Together they both overpowered her and Remus dragged Tonks away to the place he last saw Harry.
"Remus, we have to get you out of here! You're not Registered!"
"That doesn't matter, I have to find Harry! Do you see him?"
They quickly looked around, it was hard. It was utter chaos in the tent.
Then a shock of long red hair fanned out through the crowd and besides Ginny who was doing very well in a duel against a wizard half her size…
"Harry!" Remus shouted, bolting through the crowd of dueling people and spells being haphazardly thrown back and forth.
Remus saw Harry managing to get rid of his attacker, then looked around, "Papa!" he shouted.
"Harry!" Remus lost sight of him again. He pushed his way forward with Tonks trying to clear their path through the crowd as much as possible.
Then Harry was suddenly in front of Remus again, but before they could do anything Harry got stuck dueling. Remus cursed under his breath as the crowd separated them again. He continued to push himself forward. Tonks suddenly stopped, cursing loudly behind Remus and started dueling with someone. Remus kept going with full confidence, knowing she could handle herself. He lost sight of Harry, but he still kept going, shooting out spells when he had to, until he finally found himself dueling side by side with his son and Ginny once more.
Remus quickly overpowered his opponent and Harry's with desperate nonverbal magic, stunning both of them to the floor. Harry looked up at Remus with shock and admiration. Remus didn't waste another second, he pulled Harry into his arms and blocked another spell coming towards them just in time, dragging Harry out of the thickest of the crowd.
Harry began to resist. "No, I can't leave Ginny, she needs help!"
"Don't worry, she can handle her own! You need to go!" Remus shouted. "Get Ron and Hermione and go! They can't find you here, you must go!"
"I'm not leaving you!" Harry roared above the chaos, the Poly-Juice Potion still hadn't worn off yet.
For a second, Remus just wanted to see Harry's face, knowing this was it. The start of his mysterious mission Dumbledore had left him and his friends with. Funny how for months Remus was worried for Harry disappearing on him, when it just ended up with Remus forcing Harry to go.
As that thought passed, he looked over the crowd with desperation, finally spotting Ron and Hermione dueling their way towards them.
"It will be okay, Ginny will be fine! It's you who they want! Go!" Remus shouted again. "Before the Poly-Juice Potion wears off, before it calms down enough for them to realize who you are!"
"But what about you!"
"Don't worry about me!"
"Papa, I can't leave you!"
They were closer! Without warning Remus pushed Harry back towards Ron and Hermione.
Harry looked at Remus with shock then looked at his friends. Ron grabbed hold of his arm, and Remus made eye contact with Hermione, nodding to her.
"Go!" Remus shouted, then quickly blocked a curse coming straight for them, then suddenly he was stuck dueling again.
"Papa!"
Then there was a loud pop, and Remus knew Hermione had Disapparated with Ron and Harry with no hesitation.
Thank Merlin for Hermione! was all Remus could think about, and all he could feel was his heart wrenching with grief and fear at the thought of his son disappearing to Merlin knows where.
All Remus could do was keep fighting. He had just managed to make his way back towards Tonks, finding her battling side by side with Charlie and Ginny. To Remus' relief, she looked uninjured.
Soon most of the crowd had lessened. Anyone that wasn't part of the Order had finally gotten out. Leaving Arthur, Molly, Ginny, Fred and George, Charlie, Bill, Fleur, Tonks, Remus, Hagrid, the three heads of houses, Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle and a few more Order members outnumbered and surrounded. But Remus wasn't worried, they could hold their own. Harry and his friends were out, that was all that mattered.
They were forced to stand in a tight cluster in the middle of the dance floor. Remus found himself next to Tonks and Charlie with Molly and Ginny behind him. Arthur in front of them, completely shielding his daughter with his body.
Wands were pointed at them, threatening them not to move.
Arthur raised up his hands and stepped forward against Molly's whispers for him to stand down. "What is the meaning of this? We can't enjoy ourselves at my own son's wedding without being attacked?! Where is the crime in this!" His usual calm demeanor changed into one of authority and anger.
"Oh, Arthur!" Molly whispered.
Remus glanced at her to see Molly's eyes look over all of her children, assessing them, then her eyes widened and she blanched with worry and shock when she realized three of them were missing. Remus reached back and squeezed her hand in reassurance. Hoping she would understand that he was trying to tell her that Harry, Ron and Hermione were okay.
"Arthur Weasley," A man with black robes and a long yellow braid stepped forward.
Remus had to clench his jaw shut to not bear his fangs in warning, he had to push down the wolf fighting to be heard, to be seen, to be free to protect Remus. It recognized their scents. It remembered the pain that came with them. Because that man was Yaxley and next to him was Macnair, known Death Eaters to the Order of the Phoenix. The ones who tortured Remus in that basement. It just proved to Remus that what Kingsley's message had warned them of was true, the Ministry had been infiltrated.
Yaxley grinned with malicious excitement, "Arthur Weasley, we do have a purpose for our visit tonight. We have reason to believe that you have been harboring a fugitive."
"There is no fugitive here!" Arthur shouted back.
"Hmm," Yaxley carefully surveyed the crowd. "Harry Potter, come forward if you're smart enough to listen."
Remus' jaw almost dropped to the floor. Harry, wanted?
He pushed his way forward, standing besides Arthur.
"He isn't here!" Remus spat at them.
About fifty wands pointed right at Remus. Macnair stepped next to Yaxley. The Death Eater smiled a sick smile, showing off his yellow rotting teeth. "Oh, Remus Lupin, it's nice to see you again." He let out a sudden round of manic laughter. "Your friend Silver misses you dearly!"
Flashes of Macnair under a silver Death Eater mask invaded Remus' mind, that sick laughter paired with unbearable pain and the stench of his own skin burning. Remus pushed it all away and did his best to ignore him. "And why is Harry suddenly wanted, should I ask? What are the charges you're accusing him of?" he directed to Yaxley only.
Remus' question echoed for a moment, then a spell shot out, chasing the silence away. It happened so fast, yet Remus was still able to quickly block it just in time.
Yaxley stepped closer to Remus with an amused chuckle, wand in one hand and suddenly holding up a familiar rod of silver in the other.
Remus couldn't help but bare his fangs at it. The wolf whined with fear as he took a step back, his wand still pointed straight at the Death Eater.
"Ah, Remus Lupin, I had a feeling you may be here. It's a gift from Greyback to remind you of your place." He twirled the rod in his hand. "Do you remember this? He said you would." His lip curled with twisted glee as he looked for Remus' reaction.
Remus didn't give him one, but he felt his stomach churning with sudden nausea. He forced himself to remain calm, to not touch the shiny burn scar on his chest.
"Remus!" Tonks shouted, she and Charlie were suddenly at his side.
"Step back you two!" Yaxley's wand pointed directly to them.
"Wands down! All of you!" Macnair barked out to the rest of the Order.
The Death Eaters and Aurors all stepped forward together, closing ranks around the Order of the Phoenix, forcing them to do as they were told and stand closer together. It was a horrible deja vu for Remus when he was first brought to the werewolf camp, how he and the werewolves were all pushed together then attacked, defenseless and afraid. He felt that familiar panic rise in his chest once more, but stubbornly shoved it back down. He wasn't going to let it paralyze him, wasn't going to let them see it, how they had broken him, how those memories at the camp still held him in their silver clutches.
"You too!" Yaxley sneered at Remus.
Before Remus could do anything to defend himself, silver shot out of Yaxley's wand, tying Remus' wrists together, just over the scars of the previous ones that once shackled him. It caused Remus to immediately drop his wand, crying out and falling to his knees. He smashed his teeth together to stop himself from making another sound, accidentally slicing open his bottom lip with one of his fangs. He bowed his head down, closing his eyes as he bore the intolerable fiery pain and the sickening scent of his burning skin.
"Remus!" Tonks cried out among the gasps of shock from everyone behind them. She went on her knees besides Remus, dropping her wand to take his wrists in her hands, desperately trying to pry the silver cuffs off.
Molly shouted to Yaxley, "Stop! Unbound him!"
"No, Molly!" Arthur shouted.
Molly ignored her husband. Remus could hear her pushing her way through. She stood over him and Tonks, Charlie and Arthur on each side of her, their wands all pointed at Yaxley.
"You're not taking him!" Molly shouted.
"Molly," Remus panted, feeling beads of sweat rolling down his face. Blood dripped from his split lip onto the floor. "Step back and just do what they say…"
Yaxley ignored Molly's outburst, his eyes still on Tonks and Remus. "Congrats to the happy couple," he crooned. "I can't wait to see what kind of monstrous spawn you two are going to have. But luckily for you, we aren't here for werewolves today, only the whereabouts of Harry Potter. Arthur, I've heard your youngest son is best friends with him and that Potter tends to spend his summers here." Yaxley paused to look around again. Everyone behind him still kept their wands pointed on the small band of Order members.
Remus growled out through the pain, "He isn't fucking here, Yaxley!"
"Drop your wands or the werewolf's mouth is going to be covered with silver too," Yaxley continued, moving his wand to point at Remus' mouth, still twirling the silver rod with his other hand.
And with that threat, everyone finally conceded.
"So where is he, then? Arthur, I don't see your youngest here among your brood of red hair." Yaxley's eyes lingered on Ginny. Molly stepped forward, causing Macnair to move his wand from Tonks to Molly. Charlie reached towards his mother and pulled her back.
Using Macnair's distraction Tonks picked up her wand and started muttering counter curses on the silver cuffs. "Just hold on, hold on, Remus…" she whispered.
"He is sick with spattergroit, resting in bed right now as we speak. You're welcome to go on and see for yourselves, assuming that you want to risk catching it," Arthur calmly suggested as if he were suggesting a trip to Diagon Alley to them.
Yaxley glared at Arthur, then silently jutted his chin at Macnair. Macnair rounded up a few Death Eaters and Aurors, taking Arthur with them.
Charlie fought them. "Let me go with him!"
Yaxley rolled his eyes. "Let him," he only said with the annoyance of dealing with a difficult child.
Charlie and Arthur were escorted to the Burrow, leaving behind a tense silence from both parties glaring at each other.
Remus couldn't hear Tonks' whispered counter curses anymore as she tried to get the chains off him. He could only hear his own heavy breathing and the ringing in his ears. Feel the droplets of sweat rolling down his face. Taste the blood in his mouth. The way he felt as if he were on fire. His vision swam as he snuck a look at Yaxley watching Tonks with narrowed eyes. Remus was trying so hard to not just lay down and give in to the sudden heaviness by closing his eyes, to not be sick from the stench of his burning skin.
The wolf inside of Remus was silent. It was scary, as if it were no longer inside of him anymore. As much as Remus hated the wolf sharing his soul, he never knew an existence in which he wasn't constantly feeling its spirit fighting for control. The wolf had become a part of Remus no matter how much he hated and fought against it.
It wasn't very long until they all came back, the Death Eaters and Aurors looking very sick and disgusted.
Sound came back to Remus. Voices cutting through the ringing in his ears.
"The youngest Weasley boy is there," Macnair reported. They pushed Charlie and Arthur back into the crowd. "It's bad, there's no denying Weasley is telling the truth."
"Harry Potter isn't here!" Bill spat out. "Go on! Search the house and once you find nothing, leave!"
"Oh, don't you worry, cursebreaker, that is exactly what we are going to do," Yaxley promised menacingly. As he said that, a large group marched towards the Burrow while the second half still held everyone hostage.
Remus couldn't take it anymore. He spat more of his pooling blood out of his mouth onto the wooden dance floor, then shook Tonks' hands away from him, trying to rip off the silver cuffs himself. He felt his body sway and suddenly he was seeing a white ceiling with dozens of floating candles surrounding a beautiful sparkling chandelier.
"Remus!" Tonks called to him in a panic.
Molly was suddenly above him. There was something soft cradling his head.
"Remus, hold on, hold on…" Tonks pleaded.
"Get the cuffs off of him!" Molly demanded with her fiery temper. "Get them off!" All she was greeted with was laughter.
"Clear out!" Yaxley suddenly shouted. "Don't you count your lucky stars yet, Weasleys, we'll find him and when I do, you better watch yourselves!"
"Oh, certainly we will!" Arthur shouted back without fear. "But not today. I want you and your lot gone from my property, now!"
"Are you forgetting something?!" Molly shouted. Remus had been staring up at her as he listened to the hazy conversation going on above him.
"Oh, yes, your pet werewolf!" Yaxley laughed as if this were all just some sick joke to him.
Then relief, beautiful relief! Remus finally took a deep breath, closing his eyes, feeling soft fingers combing through his hair.
A heavy thud was felt more than heard. "A gift from Greyback." Heat radiated off the object that was thrown near him. Remus cringed from it. Molly reached over and tossed it away with an angry huff.
Loud pops filled the air.
"Remus, are you alright! Oh, thank heavens they are gone!" Molly said.
"Can you stand?" Tonks asked.
"Yeah!" Remus choked out. He held out his singed wrists as Charlie and Tonks lifted him up, he willed himself to stop shaking from the shock of feeling such intense pain.
Molly stood up and immediately Arthur pulled her into a tight hug. Remus spat out more blood from his mouth, then looked around to see the Order all still standing together looking very much relieved.
It could've been worse, was all Remus could think. He was just thankful that no one else was hurt, and he couldn't help but thank Ron for his brilliant idea. That was what saved them tonight.
Arthur was explaining to Molly about the ghoul. She was furious for him not telling her but also impressed. Remus had to hand it to Molly, she really had done a good job not showing her shock and confusion earlier when Arthur told Yaxley the story.
Remus felt gentle hands tug at his wrists, causing him to flinch. He looked down to see Tonks examining the burns with concern.
"I'm okay, Dora," Remus choked out, wiping blood off his chin with his sleeve.
Charlie held out his wand, "I know a spell for burns that doesn't scar, useful when you work with dragons."
Remus nodded his permission for Charlie to use it. He watched him point the tip of his wand to one of Remus' burnt wrists and mutter the spell until the angry red rings around it faded away along with the pain.
"You have to teach me that one," Remus shakily said as a thank you after Charlie performed the same spell for his other wrist. He gratefully accepted Fleur's offered handkerchief when she saw him wiping more blood off his lip again.
They all went inside the Burrow, only to find it completely overturned by the Death Eaters and Aurors, every single thing was out of place and thrown and scattered all over the floor. Remus turned to see Molly blink away tears and headed straight to the tea kettle that was on the floor, picking it up and washing it, then filling it up with water.
Remus, Charlie and Bill each took a corner of the table that was overturned on its side and lifted it, fixing it back to its place. Fred and George took care of the benches and began picking things up off the kitchen floor with their wands, repairing and putting everything back in its place. Arthur, Diggle and Hestia Jones began to do the same thing in the living room. Fleur and Tonks started putting Percy's room and the restroom across from it back in order. Hagrid and Sprout went outside to fix up the front and back yards. Everyone else along with McGonagall and Flitwick went with Bill, Charlie, and Remus to fix up the other bedrooms. Tonks and Ginny stayed in the kitchen with Molly.
And once everything was right again, they all sat in the kitchen, waiting for Kingsley. He had just sent another patronus in the middle of them cleaning the Burrow that a meeting was going to be held. Fleur's parents and her sister returned. They had Disapparated to Aunt Muriel's for safety during the attack. They were speaking rapid french with their daughter, her father sounded angry and her mother in tears. It grew so serious that they moved their conversation to the living room. Remus looked at Bill with concern, knowing the oldest Weasley son knew a bit of french.
"They want Fleur and I to come live with them, they want her to stop working with the Order, to get herself out of the war."
"I don't blame them," was all Remus could say. He completely understood the Delacours' fear for their eldest daughter.
Remus couldn't indulge himself with a cup of tea and the biscuits Molly had made while everyone had cleaned. He was too worried for Harry and for Ron and Hermione. He wondered if they had gotten to a place of safety.
Is this the start of their mission?
It happened so fast, no warning, no goodbye. One moment Harry was with him and now, now he was gone, and Remus' heart stuttered at the thought of not seeing him again or not knowing where he was or if he was okay.
Suddenly he felt himself shaking so hard, he couldn't breathe, causing him to stand up from the table.
"Bathroom," he muttered to Tonks who looked at him with concern. "I need to clean this up…" he indicated to his split bloodied lip. Her eyes went from there to his wrists. Remus self-consciously shoved his hands into the pockets of his ruined dress-robes then left the kitchen.
But the bathroom wasn't where he went to first, he climbed up the stairs, all the way to Ron's room. Remus opened the door, covering his mouth and nose from the rank of the ghoul moaning and gurgling and making awful ghoul noises from Ron's bed. It was the only room untouched by the raid. They were pretty stupid to have fallen for this. It was clear it was a ghoul in Ron's bed and not someone sick with spattergroit.
Remus made his way to where Harry's cot had been, but it was nowhere in sight. In fact there was no sign of him living here at all. Had he been putting everything away everyday just in case, waiting for his last day, waiting for the day when they would come looking for him? To live with that type of fear, he hated that Harry knew it.
But there was one thing of Harry that had been left behind. And Remus wondered if it had been intentional or by accident. It was on the window sill, the radio he'd given Harry.
Remus picked it up, examining it, and he found himself deciding that he was going to find Harry. He was going to find his cub and beg Harry to let him help with Dumbledore's mission. Remus couldn't let Harry do it alone. He couldn't let Harry disappear from him again.
It was practically morning by the time Severus was finally dismissed.
The evening-long meeting had gone on well into the night and early morning hours. It was hard and unbearable but Severus sat through it. After Yaxley had sent a message to them that the Ministry had been successfully infiltrated, the Dark Lord immediately ordered the raiding Death Eaters to take as many Aurors as they could and attack the Burrow and bring back Harry. Severus was forced to sit there even longer besides the Dark Lord, silently waiting for them to come back and secretly worrying behind his shields. The Dark Lord watched Severus the whole time, waiting for any little hint or sign of Severus showing concern for the Order and Harry.
When Yaxley and Macnair along with their raiding party finally returned, Severus was nearly at his wits end. But thank Merlin they hadn't found Harry and no one from the Order was confirmed to have been killed. Severus could finally breathe with relief, but he didn't dare do it until he was well away from Malfoy Manor and back in the safety of Spinner's End.
Finally collapsing on his creaky bed, Severus fell into a nightmare ridden sleep.
He kept dreaming of the Death Eaters finding Harry, of his son being thrown in front of the Dark Lord. Dreamed of those evil red eyes assessing Harry, as if wondering where to aim his deadly curse. Severus dreamed of himself suddenly morphing into the Dark Lord, and those green eyes of his son were so full of hatred and fear, they met his own…
Suddenly Severus woke up with a start, feeling shaken from the dream and startled when the sudden tapping of a beak on a window broke the morning silence.
It caused him to groan out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, feeling like complete shit. He made his way down the creaking stairs, opening the kitchen window to let the postal owl in. The annoying thing swooped in, perching itself on a broken cabinet and stiffly holding out its leg to Severus, ruffling its tail feathers as if it were mad for being kept waiting.
Severus rolled his eyes. He had more right to be upset about being woken up after only sleeping a couple of hours than being kept waiting for a couple of minutes. He untied the paper from the owl's leg, then placed a few knuts and sickles into its leather pouch. As soon as Severus tied up the pouch, the owl took off, leaving a few feathers behind.
Grumbling irritably, Severus waved them away and started a fresh full pot of coffee. He was starting to feel that he was going to need it to get through another unbearable day.
The rolled up newspaper stayed on the table, he was in no hurry to open up the Prophet, already knowing what was going to be on the front page. He couldn't bear the reminder of yesterday's meeting yet, so Severus took his time getting ready first.
He showered and dressed, then checked on his brewing potions down in the basement before returning to the kitchen to finally pour his first cup of coffee. He leant against the counter, taking a few cautious sips. His eye caught the sight of the paper, still abandoned on the table.
Severus put his cup down and sighed, picking up the paper and opening it up. And what he saw on the front page, wasn't what he expected at all. He thought it would be the death of Scrimgeour, and Pius Thickley being introduced as the new Minister of Magic. Not his son's picture underneath giant blocky letters.
Harry Potter: Undesirable Number One
Severus was there when the Dark Lord tried sending a search party to the Burrow after Harry, but this was never mentioned in the meeting last night, that Harry being wanted would be all over the paper the next day. He read the article, seeing what it was they were accusing Harry of. It was all crack and bull! They were pinning Albus' death on his son!
"Fuck!" he shouted to no one.
Severus wasted no time. He had to check on Harry, he had to see for himself that he was still safe with Remus at the Burrow. He immediately Disapparated to Ottery St. Catchpole.
.
.
It was a pure black wolf as dark as the night that ran against the windy moors towards the Burrow that morning, and he didn't slow down until after he climbed his last hill and could see the house.
Severus pricked his ears, it sounded like there was an order meeting going on with Kingsley leading it. He crept slowly and carefully down the hill so he wouldn't be noticed, settling himself in the bushes underneath the kitchen window where he could easily hear them discussing the attack during the wedding party, and how all of the guests were able to get out safely. How the Order had been surrounded by Aurors and known Death Eaters. How Remus had been attacked with silver by Yaxley and Macnair.
Severus almost growled when he heard that, but stopped himself just in time, well aware of Remus' sharp hearing.
One day, he told himself. One day… Severus was nowhere close to a clear picture of how or when, but one day both of those Death Eaters would pay for ever daring to hurt Remus that way!
"And what of Harry, Hermione and Ron? Where are they?" Kingsley asked.
Severus pricked his ears to that question. Where are they? Meaning, they weren't here? Fear made his chest tightened with anxiety of what that meant. Harry was already on the run.
"I got Harry out during the chaos of the battle, he was still under the Poly-Juice Potion so no one knew it was him. Hermione Disapparated out with him and Ron, and I have no idea where, but they're smart. I know they are in hiding now, I think this may be the start of their mission," Remus answered, causing Severus' heart to pound so loudly that he worried about Remus hearing it.
"The one given to them by Dumbledore?"
Remus must have nodded because Kingsley then continued, "Okay, we need to carry on with what we've been doing then. That means focusing on our missions and we have to be more vigilant than ever before. For those that work at the Ministry, you need to lay low, don't draw attention to yourselves. You can't trust any of your coworkers now, they could either be siding with the Death Eaters or Imperiused, especially the Aurors who followed Thickness' orders to attack the Burrow without any question. We have to stick together. Any Ministry related issues, you lot come to us."
"And what about the children?" Molly asked. "We can't just leave them out there alone to fend for themselves."
"I hate to say this, Molly, but we are going to have to," Kingsley said with deep regret.
Silence was met after Kingsley's admission.
"I'm not saying for us to not keep an eye out for them, but it's safer for them if we don't know where they are, just in case any of us are ever captured for information…"
A mutter of agreement from what sounded like half the room started before Kingsley could finish speaking, then the thud of a newspaper thrown on the table followed. It caused everyone to be silent. Severus guessed it was shock, knowing exactly what caused it.
"Undesirable Number One…" Kingsley read aloud, and then everyone started speaking again.
Severus tuned out the voices. He was too late. Harry had already gone into hiding. He felt numb with worry, and all he could feel was relief for Harry's friends. At least his kid wasn't completely alone.
"No, Kingsley, I can't let Harry do it alone with that hanging over his head!" Remus' voice rose above everyone else's.
"I still stand by what I said, Remus, think about it, if any of us were captured and they took all of the information in our heads including the whereabouts of Harry, Ron and Hermione, that could lead to something even more tragic…"
It was silent. Severus guessed Remus was silently battling with himself on agreeing with Kingsley or not. And Severus understood why, he could practically guess the thoughts going on in Remus' head. He was right about the mission Albus had left for Harry, searching for horcruxes and destroying them, it has officially started, and now it was a path Harry must walk without Severus and Remus besides him, something that was so hard for them to accept.
Severus had never wanted Harry to fall deeper into the war than he already was. He tried shielding Harry from it while under his care as best as he could, but Albus had always been stronger. The headmaster had really shoved Harry off the deep end of this war with that mission, and how long now would it be until Harry found out the terrible truth about his fate that Albus kept hidden?
He remembered that night when Albus had finally revealed the truth to him on top of the Astronomy tower. It was the very last conversation they had before everything fell apart. It would be forever seared into Severus' memory. He could still feel the waves of the anger and shock he'd experienced that night, could still feel the unbearable painful agony of learning the truth, now knowing what Harry was going to face and realizing he couldn't fully protect him from it. All of those promises made to Harry, all of it was broken. That prophecy tied Harry and the Dark Lord tighter than Severus had ever thought possible. But it didn't mean Severus wouldn't try and loosen the knots, try to make the path Harry had to walk a bit easier, even if it ended with Severus dead.
The meeting had gone on while Severus had been lost in his thoughts. The crinkling of the Daily Prophet's pages brought him back.
"Another werewolf attack," Kingsley announced. "Thea Thompson, age 34. A newly registered werewolf that also has been missing since the last full-moon, along with her little daughter." Gasps were heard after that. "The victims' relative just reported it yesterday…"
"Kingsley, the child, was there any info in there about her being a werewolf too?" Arthur asked.
"It doesn't say anything, most likely the mother refused to be taken without her."
"A child missing," Molly sniffed. "We have to find her."
"Remus," Kingsley went on. "This is the third attack we hear about. "I'm sure Bill has already updated you on the others?"
"Yes, he said it might be a werewolf camp started up again by Greyback," Remus answered. "We have to find it and disband it as soon as possible."
Severus heard the conviction in Remus' voice, but he knew him well enough that it was hiding everything Remus had gone through last summer. He silently laid his chin on his paws, sighing deeply. What Severus wouldn't give right now just to be able to hold Remus, knowing just how much the news of these attacks must be affecting him along with the worry he must have for their kid.
Kingsley then went into detail on their plans to find the camp.
"I can lead the mission," Remus volunteered. His declaration was met with silence. Severus guessed because everyone was remembering the last mission he had with the werewolves and how wrong it had gone. Remus almost lost his life over it in the most horrific way.
"Remus," It was Arthur who broke the silence. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yes, it's going to be dangerous. I can't let anyone risk their life that way, if the mission doesn't kill them then it would be the bite they would have to live with. And I can't allow any werewolves to suffer the way I did either… It has to be me."
Even though fear shot through Severus at the thought of Remus going anywhere near werewolf camps again, he couldn't be more proud of Remus for stepping up and conquering his trauma.
"Okay, I hear you, Remus," Kingsley said proudly.
They then went over a few more things and missions. Once the meeting was done and everyone was dismissed except for Remus who stayed behind with Kingsley.
Severus flattened himself underneath the bushes as everyone began to file out of the Burrow through the kitchen door. He decided to stay behind to hear Kingsley's and Remus' plan for the werewolf camp mission.
Listening to them, Severus learned that the connecting thing between the three werewolves being taken was just after the full-moon, when they were at their weakest. The latest kidnapping with the little girl was just after the most recent one. Even though the trail could be cold right now, Remus still made plans to go visit the house the mother had changed in.
Severus hated listening to this. It was dangerous, Remus was basically walking right into Greyback's clutches, after all, this could be a trap for him. Severus hadn't heard anything about werewolves during the times he spent at Malfoy Manor. He'd only seen Greyback around, and Rowan was hardly ever there.
"Remus, I have to ask…" Kingsley then addressed in his deep voice. "By you taking this mission, does it mean that you're considering on joining the pack?"
It was silent. Severus strained his ears, waiting, his heart beating like a drum. Was Remus really going to say yes? Why was he taking so long to answer?
"I just want to find out if there's another werewolf camp…" was all Remus said, to Severus' relief.
"Okay, let's get back into planning then…" Kingsley said with obvious disappointment.
Severus almost growled from it, not liking how the leader of the Order wanted Remus to say yes. Albus' proposed mission for Remus to take over Greyback's pack was beyond impossible and dangerous to accomplish. How dare they put that responsibility on him!
When Kingsley and Remus started talking about Remus using himself as bait during the next full-moon, changing in one of the same spots as the other kidnapped wolves just to see if any of the attackers would appear again, Severus couldn't take it anymore. He left, returning quickly back to Spinner's End.
As soon as Severus returned to his parent's dreadful house, the first thing Severus did was lay out a map on the kitchen table, spreading it out and marking all of the places Harry could be hiding. Remus could worry about the werewolves, Severus was going to search for Harry and if he found him, then maybe…maybe if he sent some word to Remus about where he could be at…maybe it could help him, remembering how worried Remus sounded when he and the Order were discussing Harry and his missing friends.
And maybe for a more selfish reason…maybe to keep Remus distracted from his new mission. If he found Harry, then maybe Remus wouldn't want to put himself in such reckless danger. Severus knew it was horrible and manipulative, he was stooping down to Albus' level, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe it was the energy of this damn house, but he just didn't want Remus hurt by Greyback or near him anymore. If Severus could do something to stop it, then so be it.
.
.
Privet Drive, the park at Little Whinging, Figg's house…
Grimmauld Place, the cabin, the forest of Dean.
The list of where Harry might be was short, but it was something and better than nothing.
Privet Drive was the first place Severus chose to look, only because he doubted Harry would ever come back here, even just to hide, even when his relatives weren't living there anymore. It was just an easy way to check a location off of Severus' list, so he checked the house first along with all the other possibilities in the area.
And just as Severus had thought, after he searched all of Little Whinging, nothing.
The next places to search were the cabin and Grimmauld place. Severus decided to do the cabin first, only to purposely stop avoiding it and to take away the building anxiety of having to visit it.
It was hard going there where too many memories of himself being happy with Remus and Harry lived. They tore at him, especially when Severus knew the cabin could never be home to him ever again, and he missed it.
Because it had become home… Severus had been searching for the meaning of home his whole entire life. Searching for that feeling of just knowing what it was. And he had found it with such happiness and love, and held it tight in his grasp, never wanting to let it go, but Albus had pried his fingers open until it was all falling out of his reach.
And as Severus stood in front of the cabin as a black wolf, the only way he could come near it without setting off the wards Remus had put up, the only way he could find it besides using the village where he and Harry had done their shopping to guide him here…
If things hadn't happened the way they had…
Standing in front of the cabin, with the glistening lake behind him, Severus imagined himself on the porch swing, reading, a pitcher of iced tea and three glasses on the little side table. He imagined the sounds of splashing water and laughter behind him, turning around to see Remus and Harry swimming in the lake. It was the summer bright sunny days they could've had ahead of them. A dream, a promise, that Severus had stubbornly held onto before it was all shadowed in the darkness of reality. It had all fallen along with Albus and now buried in the ground with him.
He searched the entire cabin and the grounds thoroughly and quickly until deciding that Harry and his friends weren't here. He wondered if Harry had even stepped foot here since the Christmas holidays. Severus was sure the answer was no. He was also sure of the possibility of Harry never coming back here for a long while. It hurt deep inside to realize that. This was supposed to be a safe place for Harry, now it could never be that. It made Severus even more angrier at himself and Albus.
Severus made his way to Grimmauld Place after that, by now the sun had set and it was dark, helping him blend in with his dark pelt even more. He sat across the street, out of sight from the stationed Death Eaters also watching the building. He could sense the wards of the place. Alastor Moody had been efficient with them, they were powerful and they remained intact even after his death.
This has to be it. He has to be here, Severus decided. Where else? Where else on such short notice?
He waited, hiding, watching and hoping to see any sign of the kids coming in or out, mindful of them using the invisibility cloak.
And a day or so later, Severus was finally rewarded for his patience. It was just a tiny little thing, anyone could have just dismissed it as nothing, in fact he almost did but he knew better. He knew what he was looking for.
It was just a tiny flicker of color, of someone's clothing, pink, possibly Granger, as if the invisibility cloak had slid off just a bit after Apparating close to where the door should appear. And Severus also realized how they were going in and out.
He finally went back to Spinner's End to rest and shower and form a plan on how to get the message to Remus of Harry's whereabouts.
.
.
The next day Severus paced the kitchen, deep in thought. He had two things he had to do.
First, he needed something that would remind Remus of Grimmauld Place or of Black, just something that would make him want to go there… But what? What?
Second, there was a task that had been written in the scroll Albus had left behind. It all had to do with the broken shard of a two-way mirror Severus had confiscated from Harry last summer, the night he'd arrived at his quarters. This task he didn't want to do. He didn't want to leave something behind in Grimmauld Place that Harry could end up potentially hurting himself with. But in the scroll, Albus had written that his brother Aberforth had the other mirror. If Severus were to get that broken piece to Harry, it was a way of communication between the two, it would mean that someone Albus trusted could be on the lookout for Harry if he were ever in danger. That was what won Severus over, another person able to watch over his son, and as Hogwarts newest headmaster, he was able to call one of the house-elves from Hogwarts to fetch it from his quarters. Now he had the broken piece with him, wrapped in a cloth, in his pocket, ready to be taken to Grimmauld Place.
Then a brilliant idea suddenly came to him. And it was going to be complicated and risky and stupid. He would have to be careful and smart and extremely stealthy to do it, but Severus had all of the confidence in the world that he could pull this plan off. After lying to the Dark Lord for years, Severus felt like he could do almost anything when it came to sneaking around.
After a couple of more days of careful planning, Severus found himself watching the door of Grimmauld Place again, waiting for the door to number 12 to appear. He was under the disguise of his Animagus form paired with a Disillusionment Charm. He was carrying a small bundle of cloth wrapped around the mirror shard in his mouth and was wearing Remus' wolf pendant being used as a portkey home hanging around his neck. The wards casted on the ancient house of Black couldn't allow him in, but there would be no problem getting out.
He was hiding in the bushes near the stoop, ready, waiting for that small window.
Severus waited and waited, hardly moving, feeling his muscles growing strained from being in the same position for so long, but still, Severus held on waiting, until finally the door appeared. He couldn't see who it was, but he heard the footsteps and quickly followed them inside, standing so close and still behind whoever was underneath the invisibility cloak as he felt the wards wash over them.
"Severus Snape!" A painfully familiar voice suddenly shouted. It was terrifying. Severus froze even more, instantly thinking he had been found out. He stayed quiet and still, the only thing he could think of doing.
A dusty figure rose up from the carpet, Severus closed his eyes, flattening his ears, tail curled between his legs. And then a voice rang out… Severus opened his eyes again in time to see…
"I'm not Severus Snape!" A blast of a charm suddenly turned the apparition back into dust, sprinkling it back into the moldy carpet.
Severus loosened his muscles in relief. He hadn't been found out, and that wasn't Albus. Just one of Alastor's strong protection spells. He was lucky, very lucky, he realized as he slinked against the wall and up the stairs, remembering to avoid certain creaking steps from when this house had been used as a headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix.
Halfway up the steps, Severus dared to pause for just a second to see who it was appearing from under the cloak. It was Weasley, seeing the shock of red hair. Weasley who chased away the dusty apparition of Albus that nearly gave Severus a heart attack.
He continued back up the stairs, deciding that it was for the best that it hadn't been Harry who he followed inside of number 12 Grimmauld Place. Severus couldn't afford to get distracted from his mission.
He made his way to Black's room without any trouble, hearing the voices of Harry and his friends downstairs. He made sure his paw steps were light and careful. Hopefully if they did hear him, at least they might assume it could be any of the household pests that made themselves at home here or possibly Kreacher. Another thing he had to avoid. Kreacher. Harry had sent the elf to work in the Hogwarts kitchens last summer, but he couldn't be too careless to assume he was still there.
Severus had decided to hide underneath the bed where he could wait until the kids were fast asleep so he could search Black's room undetected and not run the risk of being heard and found. Feeling the relief of letting go of the wrapped mirror on the floor in front of him, he nudged it out of its wrappings, allowing it to glimmer on the floor, wondering where he should put it for Harry to find.
He hadn't meant to fall asleep himself.
It had been foolish and he was lucky to not have been discovered. It was really thanks to Merlin and the entire heavens above that he was still under his Animagus form, though the Disillusionment Charm had worn off. Severus carefully backed up to the furthest corner underneath the bed, staying as still as possible, hoping the darkness would hide him.
It was Harry's voice that had startled him awake. He was calling out to Granger and Weasley. Severus risked peeking out to see what was going on. He was only able to see Harry's hands clutching a piece of old parchment. He then backed up again, suddenly noticing a similar parchment underneath his front paw. It must've torn when Harry pulled it out from under the bed.
Severus almost growled when he realized again how very lucky he was to not have been found. He looked down at the paper, using the flickering light of the lantern Harry had brought. He couldn't really read the torn parchment, but it looked like a letter. It had an achingly familiar name and half a picture of…there was no mistaking that long red hair, Lily…
Severus' heart wrenched from seeing it, he almost howled it out. Staying in his Animagus form for too long, Severus was starting to act more like a wolf than human. He wondered how Black dealt with it, staying as a dog for long periods of time without losing his senses. Maybe he didn't. It explained why he was so insane. He knew this was it though, the letter and the picture. He could use it to get Remus here.
He couldn't help but wonder how complicated as this mission was, it had been too easy. And the fact that Harry hadn't seen Severus when he picked up the letter, didn't feel it rip in two and started searching for the other half immediately while Severus was still asleep, instead calling to his friends first… Severus wondered if somehow the impossible was happening. If Lily was here somehow watching him, protecting him, helping him. It was dumb to wonder about such an absurd idea, but Severus couldn't help it. It was just too much dumb luck.
The voices and sounds of Harry, Granger and Weasley tearing the room apart for the second piece of the letter filled the room, breaking him out of his musings. Severus stayed as still as possible, watching them, waiting for a chance of getting a glimpse of Harry other than his feet and his hands.
Then suddenly Harry looked underneath the bed.
Severus dared not to breathe, afraid of being seen, afraid of them deciding to move the bed.
Maybe it was just that dark underneath it, because it seemed as if Harry couldn't see him or maybe because his eyes were suddenly on the mirror, looking very confused about it. He reached a hand out on the floor, feeling around, then carefully picked up the mirror. Severus stayed completely still, noticing how exhausted his son looked, noticing the dark circles under his eyes. The faint shadow of him not shaving in days. He looked more like an adult than Severus had ever seen him before.
Where was that boy he took in last year? Was he still somewhere in this broken and burdened young man? He could see just how heavy it all was in Harry's green eyes, the pain Severus' betrayal had caused in him.
Harry moved away, allowing Severus to sigh out with relief. He didn't want to leave, but he had to. Weasley was talking about lifting up the bed.
Severus wanted nothing more than to just change into his human form and just explain everything, even if Harry tried to attack him, then Severus would allow him to. With Harry's wand pointed to him, Severus would beg on his knees and pour his entire heart out until Harry understood, and if he still hated him, then fine, but at least Harry would know the truth, and he would know that Severus still loved him so very much.
But of course, Severus couldn't, and with that frustrating thought he reached down and nosed the wolf pendant around his neck, causing it to glow blue.
This was supposed to be the easiest part of the mission, touching the pendant to take him away, but Severus found that it was the hardest. It was hard to leave his son, but he had to, and he somehow found it in him to do it.
The portkey left him in the middle of the kitchen floor back at Spinner's End, back in his human body, kneeling on cracked grimy tiles and shaking so very hard. Just wanting his son in his arms.
The letter was crumpled in his hands as he looked at it again, seeing Lily's red hair. She was smiling at some unknown thing from the other half of the picture.
There were only a few lines, the end of a letter with… Lots of love, Lily… Tears rolled down Severus' cheeks, landing on the paper and smudging the old ink.
A/N: Next update will probably be sometime next week, just to make up for the long wait and the confusion for arranging my chapters. I really do apologize for it, but I felt like my long chapters were getting out of hand lol.
Anyways, thank you so much for all of the reviews and likes and follows, they are always appreciated. Thank you so much especially to those of you that reviewed, I loved all of them!
Imaginer.012: Thank you for your review and sharing with me the parts you liked about chapter nine!
BlueWater5: It was so hard to write Severus being separated from them too, I'm glad you picked that up! Thank you for reviewing!
Guest: lol thanks for your review! The fact that you sped read them haha hopefully there will be more Draco and Harry soon, unfortunately there's quite a way to go still
MissCashell: You know, I really loved your review, it made me laugh when I read it while I was at work, and thank you for making that day better cus it was a hard shift. I also apologize for your loss of sleep, and not getting work done and neglecting your poor family lol. The best fanfics I've read and never forget are the ones I absolutely cannot put down, the ones that give me tendinitis from scrolling on the phone for hours and keeps me up late, I'm very happy and honored that my story is one of those good ones for you.
bluemoonwrites: Thank you so much for your review! And I will try to take my time lol sometimes I just get so caught up in writing and having to post. Thank you for the reminder!