Ranma of St. Bacchus, Chapter 23
by Chaos Orchid
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"Anything can be turned into a martial art! Improvise! But, above all else: Practice!
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Oh, Charming….
"I don't wanna go to Charm class! It goes against my nature!" 'Ran' honesty felt that way.
"Which is why you must attend!" Endo-sensei said, now in polite Japanese with only a hint of French words and accent. Looking closely at him now, (she) could see he wasn't European. But a Japanese with blond hair and goatee beard, with blue irises and round eyes? Okay, now that (she) thought about it, there were an unusually large number of people at this school that didn't have Asian eyes. But his looked like they could be appropriate for an anime. The male version of anime eyes, of course: Smaller than the girls', with less highlights.
Wait! What about her eye?! (She) didn't remember paying enough attention to them! Did (she) have blue eyes!? Talk about Not Asian!
Wait one last time! Why was (she) going on about that! More importantly, "A martial artist don't need to be charmin'!"
"Of course a martial artist should be charming, Mademoiselle! Many different advantages are delivered to you once you can choose to be charming.
"Or not?" After a nasal chuckle, he said, "Example une: Your opponent is more apt to assess your ability in techniques as non-threatening. He thus lowers his guard…and Voila! You are desist from being charming!"
"Or I could just meet him hand-to-hand, mano-to-mano, man-to-man!" (She) was already in the basic stance as (she) spoke!
"How gauche. Impart panache into your moves and movements! If that point of view is not to your appetite, approach it as Nihondō, the Japanese way of transforming anything and everything into ritual!"
"A ritual?" Something spoke to 'Ran'. (She) wasn't sure why, but (her) body did. Drilled-in, Trained-in katas that were well and regularly practiced spoke to (her) from below her memory.
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"Stupid nonsense rituals. The Teach lied to me! In no way is this Nihondō!"
There were no desks for the girls to sit behind, only chairs. Chairs, no floor cushions. And the chairs were a semi-circle around an open space in the middle. (Hers) was the one furthest from the windows, and to leave, (she) had to get by a bookshelf, jukebox and a Japanese Chin. The long and silky furred toy dog had a distinctly feline (c,cat) aura about her. The aura also told (her) she went against the reticent nature expected in the typical breed. She had to have been trained in dog fu! The chins were also known to go up on two legs! It gave them the path to even greater martial arts techniques, though canine versions.
"Why does Mami have to walk with a book on her head? This is too basic!" the self-proclaimed most beautiful girl in school if not Japan said. She had the classic definition of Japanese beauty. In fact she looked like a china (porcelain) doll version of traditional Japanese dolls (antique, collectors' items, of course). The only real difference, besides her only chemically paled face, were her clothes when out of school uniform. 'Ran' guessed they were the latest in what passed as fashion. High-end, of course, not street-level.
"You are but demonstrating to our less than stellar nouveau-pupil, one Yamada-san Ran what perfection is, on display!" said the teacher dressed in a (cliché) French costume.
"Well, of course, I am perfection." And Mami did a twirl on one foot and came to a smooth curtesy and a bow before (her). The book never wobbled on her head. "You will inform the male Ran, I'm sure."
"Aw, man." The girls were still trying to get dates from her. But only because they hope it will put the male Ran under a social obligation to date with them. To tell the truth, (she) wasn't sure that wouldn't work. The female Ran had been male for such a short time and in such a panic over [his] rapid hair loss, (she) still wasn't sure [he] wasn't really different from (her)! [He] did have a different feel about [him]. From what little (she) remembered. But, then, (she) did have amnesia. (She) didn't remember much of anything before less than three days ago.
"Ow!" (She) cried out when a book fell onto her foot.
"Oopsie! Sorry. Does your Mami have your attention now?"
If she was the best example of being 'charming ', the word meant something different than what 'Ran' thought it should. Not that (she) probably had really defined the word in (her) old life.
"It's dommage! The comportment of Mademoiselle Mami was perfection until the accident!" Endo-sensei said, chef's kissing.
"Perfection, my foot!" 'Ran' griped, rubbing the foot (she) had up on (her) knee in a way girls should not do in public. Especial in a knee skirt that had to rise up (her) thigh for (her) to do it. " 'Dommage', he says. It'd better not be damaged," (she) muttered.
"I will now leave the classroom so that ma Dames may be gowned!"
"Marvelous, marvelous, marvelous!" Mami enthused. "I adore this class! We are allowed to engaged in costuming!"
"Cosplay!" agreed a girl 'Ran' recognized. She was 10cm, 4½" (Mami's size) taller and had thin hair that barely reached her neck.
"Except we have to wear the same kind of things almost every class!" complained what might of been Saki's dormmate with how familiar she seemed with her. This girl was 159cm, 3½" shorter and had cotton-candy hair. Hair dye?!
"Aw, Suki, live up to your name, Sugar. Soki says so!" declared the girl as tall as Suki but with side-bangs and glasses.
"Saki, Suki, Soki? Oh, come on, now. What's the chances that three…." Then 'Ran' recognized them: They were the "Love's Triangle" girls that had attacked (her) this morning. (She) had let them think they might be winning against (her) just to have a pre-dawn sparring match. It turned out, though, they were too lazy to regularly get up that early. And stupid. The match was cut short because they hadn't even thought out how their wished-for date with male Ran should be claimed. "Figures they'd be in a stupid charm class."
All of the 15 (instead of the 30 to 40 of the typical Japanese high school class) stripped to their sports bra and panties. Then the S_ki girls took those off. Out from a wall-spanning armoire wardrobe, that was – except for it being fine-grained and polished – a row of school lockers, came their lingerie. They were very feminine and pastel.
Then there was Mami! She went all the way, making herself nude. Or was it naked? She noticed female 'Ran' looking at her and gave a flirtatious smile. She treated even girls that interested her as if they were eligible guys.
'Ran' looked away.
"Mami, you aren't really going to wear that!?" said Saki.
"And why not? It is the finest copy of the famous 'nude' dress of that Hollywood awards show seen on TV news last week!"
"Last week ?" , "So soon?" , … On and on the simpletons gushed.
"Ran, aren't you going to get into your gown?"
"I don't got no gown. Don't want a gown."
"But we have extras!" Saki told her.
"Out of fashion date, passe attire," Mami the expert said.
"Soki is Simon Says and Soki says: Do Ran girls!"
Were these girls weak? (She) was supposed to protect the weak. Or so her conditioning said.
Stupid! Who was going to protect (her) from these weak girls!?
Suki was pulling up 'Ran's sports bra and Soki was trying to pull down (her) knee-length, revealing (she) had left (her) smelly panties back in the bathhouse, when Endo-sensei reentered the room.
He quickly grabbed his nose and left again.
The impulse dying among the girls, 'Ran' was allowed to put (her) uniform back in place.
"Next time," Soki grinned. The way the light gleamed off her glasses when she said that, almost brought back a memory (she) wished forgotten.
"Don't worry about Endo, Yamada," Saki told her. "He's basically harmless."
"And that makes him so much fun!" Suki did a mood swing. "We all adore his French wannabeing!"
"You know he has on a blond wig and blue contact lenses, right?" By her tone, Soki assumed 'Ran' did.
Then (she) spoiled it by naively asking, "What about his round eyes?"
"Well, eye surgery, of course. Foolish man!" Mami said. Of all of the girls in the class, perhaps the school, she was the one who had the greatest epicanthic fold. In fact, her pupils were barely visible, her lids were so close together. Classic Japanese beauty. Clothes seemed to be her only Western concession. Though, the fashion designers behind them may well have been Japanese.
Soon there came a knock at the door. "May I entre?" the teacher asked.
"Play along!" the S_ki girls whispered.
"It is certainly better than Home Economics," Mami said. 'Ran' couldn't disagree there. That room had hot water.
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The jukebox played a waltz and 'Ran' was supposed to partner with pink-haired Suki. She, like almost all of the others only exposed the top of their boobs and arms, with or without gloves.
Mami cut in. Mami proved to have more balance-shifting skills than she let on. The girl in the nude-colored, rhinestone-covered – reminding (her) of the makeup on (her) face! – gown that had only fine mesh 'sides' that left all of her real sides visible. She was trying to get 'Ran' to do something (she) didn't understand: Lead! The girl that wanted to date (her) was already casting (her) in the role of male escort.
The inevitable seemed to happen. 'Ran' stepped on her toes. But (she) was thinking, Drop a book on my foot, will ya!
But without the intention, it didn't help that Mami's almost exposed bust laid on top of (her) own, blocking what little view (she) could have had of (her) 'dancing' feet.
One good came from the class. If it were a good thing. 'Ran' learned there was more than just the Japanese way of bowing. The male put 'his' hand over his heart – perhaps even clicking 'his' heels – before bowing mainly from the shoulders. And then there was the curtsying (she) also had to do.
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"Yamada…uh, Ran-mademoiselle, I wish to have the words with you," Yamada-sensei said out in the hall while the 'other' girls were changing back into their uniforms.
"Okay. Now what?"
"You are, how you say, the work in progress. You need more instruction and practice in the katas of charme, étiquette, élégance! I will be recommending you have more class time with moi. Now I do not expect vous to transfer your homeroom over to mine, but I will see that you are enrolled into my cram class, as she is colloquially and vulgarly referred to.
"What about Matsushiba-sensei's cram class?" It was hard for (her) to believe (she) might prefer the terror of St. Hebereke over this loser. But (she) had apparently been raised to look for the useful things.
Was there any actual use for this? In answer, (she) heard a voice (she) could almost recognize. If (she) cared to, "Anything can be turned into a martial art!"
"I ain't agreein' to it, until I get an idea of what kind of martial arts you can teach me. I might drop by.
"But I might not. Depends." 15 kids in his class? Feh! It didn't look like his students didn't treat his class as anything more than a RPG.
RPG?
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The S_ki girls and the 'others' went their own ways after the class. Unfortunately, Mami was the only 'other' girl from (her) homeroom that took Charm class. And she now insisted on following (her) to lunch. She was determined to win male Ran through female Ran.
Too bad for her (she) wasn't going to the cafeteria. The girls from (her) homeroom who had bribed (her) with a okonomiyaki snack only had had that one period as their cafeteria shift. No female camaraderie had been attempted with any of the 'other' girls. They may well still try to hit (her) with hot water!
"You do not treat a woman as you do a man, Foolish Mami. Let a woman show you how a woman dates a woman," said the latest challenger. 'Ran's latest suiter.
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NOTES:
Endo-sensei has planted a seed in 'Ran's mind. His wig and tinted contact lenses are a way for her to stop looking so un-Asian with her red hair and blue eyes.
Charm classes may seem out-of-date, but at the social level the girls' families network as those European social rituals learned during the Meiji Period are still relevant to the traditional and ritual-minded elite class. Gown-and-tuxedo etiquette is still relevant for them.