• Trenton Cohen •

There she is. Wow, there she is. In all her professional and arrogant glory, clad in a dark pantsuit and a dark briefcase in her hand, there she is. A far cry from how I remember her when I last saw her … years ago. There she is. My mother.

Standing at the doors of the centerpiece pyramid, dubbed the Innovation Center, she scanned the throngs of people that busily walked Main Street all around where I stood. She was scanning the crowd for me, but I remained underneath my hat and unassuming black shirt. However, my gaze remained on her, but I knew she couldn't feel my presence. Strange how I didn't stand out, with my black shirt amid the array of brightly-colored short shorts and tank tops. Then again, who am I to her? Simply her son, I suppose. Just her only son.

Just shows how strong our bond is. I thought.

I haven't seen Josephine, or, dare I say, my mother, in quite a number of years. My father divorced her when I was twelve and received total custody of me. He chose to cut her off completely. Once the dust settled, Josephine did the only logical thing and disappeared without a trace. Her reasons for doing that, I'm not too sure. No one's sure for that matter. I was only a naïve twelve-year-old! As one can imagine, there is little to be left to the youth's imagination.

Other than support payments, there was no connection to her and she disappeared from my life. No matter who I asked, I never got a definite or satisfying answer.

Then the letter came.

And it's because of that letter that I am standing at the steps of some of the most revolutionary genetic technology to date. Nothing fascinates me more. Since I could comprehend what other life forms there were other than human beings, I've been fascinated by dinosaurs. My own fascination led me to my own hunger for research on those life forms. One thing led to another and I entered a contest.

Even before submission, I convinced myself I wasn't going to get in, let alone win anything. It was much too good to be true for me. An internship on Isla Nubar to study anything and everything I can get my hands on concerning Jurassic life …? God, not even in my wildest dreams.

There were three winners and all received the internship. After sending in a plethora of essays, petitions, recommendation letters, I still had little hope. Mostly because I didn't want anything except first. Not for my own pride (don't worry, I'm not an arrogant douche!), but for financial reasons. My dad and grandma can't afford that all alone.

But then the letter came!

I received it this past June. It was actually two letters: my acceptance and financial statement. My acceptance letter stated just that, my acceptance. After regaining consciousness, all I remember was seeing the $0.00 due on my financial statement, plus a small food stipend, before fainting yet again.

And here I am! Here I am!

Oh god, just thinking about where I was got me excited enough to trek up the steps, eager to enter into my version of a candy shop. I forgot about Josephine for a split second.

"Trenton?" her clear-cut voice pierced my ears. I approached her, my jaw clenched in defense. I didn't know what to expect from there on. I don't know what to say, either!

"Mother," I replied in the same manner, but less questioningly.

We stood facing one another, about ten feet away. People walked between us, but it wasn't enough to keep her quiet. No urge to approach her was within me. Let alone hug her ….

After a while she spoke, "Look at you! You're all … grown up!"

I had half a mind to say 'You too!' because she aged like a bowl of fruit. There was not a single grey hair on her auburn head, but there were certainly signs of aging. She looked better than her worst days with us, which I could recall all too well, but still much worse than her best. I guess being the lead financial coordinator for the park sounds tough, so I'll give her that.

My lips pursed and I nodded, "Yeah, thank you."

I surely had nothing more to say beyond that, so I remained quiet. Josephine was tense, looking around for something to say. But after a while, she recalled why I was here and brought that up. Probably wanting to ruin it. I thought.

"So, your internship! That's exciting. It was very competitive, but you beat the odds, right?"

Why phrase it as a question? I'm here, right in front of you, how could there be any question of it? That's the only reason I know she's here. It is not a coincidence that I am completely invested into researching prehistoric life forms. Oh, I see an opportunity to throw her off. "Yes," I replied. "I am very invested in anything concerning the paleontological field. How would it not be exciting?"

"Well, that's good. I'm glad for you."

I knew what I was currently in her eyes. A dollar sign. 'How much money could the park make with investors who want internships for people like me?', was the current question in her head. I know they made a lot of money from the fees to enter into the internship contest, which was not all too much per person. But the publicity they will make from having these young people coming to intern here. Josephine was certainly not thinking about, 'How will I make it up to my son?' or maybe, 'How has he been after I left him with a father who barely ever sees because of his two jobs to take care of his son and his mother?'

"Thank you." I replied, chewing my bottom lip afterwards.

"So is your … father here?" she said, tautly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, he is unpacking in the room right now. Grandma's also here. I'll meet up with them later." They were both staying with me for the two weeks before the internship was to start. They deserved this vacation. I mean, they dipped into my college fund, but at this point I'm assured with a lot of scholarships. As a high school junior, I already have some. Josephine let out a scoff,

"They left you by yourself to wander this park? Pah, that's reasonable. Letting a fifteen-year-old to wander these crowds alone." In a matter of a second, I went from respectable to being filled with anger. I was able to contain myself, not saying anything of what I really wanted to say. I simply replied,

"I-I'm seventeen."

"Oh," she murmured and looked away with a creased brow. "has it really been that long?" I nodded,

"Yeah, it has."

There was a nagging feeling within me that wouldn't go away. It was an urge that bugged me ever since I approached the building and saw her. I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her about the feeling of abandonment that I dealt with for years and the overwhelming guilt I was plagued with, as if it was all my fault. I want to tell her how I how my heart broke seeing my dad trying to cope with this the financial stress and being powerless to do anything about it. How grandma's little craft business did take off and help us at least be stable.

I want to tell her about the ups and the downs. About my trust and love for grandma and my father, too. How I can tell them anything I want to without judgement. I want to tell her what I've told them ….

I want things to be like they used to be. When I was very young, I could remember the happiness we had as a family. Before everything went downhill. I want to tell her about me; about myself.

"So," she cut off my thinking. "how have these past few years been?" After the plethora of thoughts that went through my mind, I couldn't control my tongue.

"You're not entitled to that," I snapped. Her eyelids rose and met her lowered and creased brow.

"Excuse me …?" I took a deep breath and frowned, staring at her as if I saw a T-rex kill a man. I began to chew on my bottom lip, restraining my words. But, I can't contain them. They need to be released.

"You're excused mother. But, you are not by any means entitled to know what happened these past few years," I swallowed the lead lump in my throat. "not yet, I mean. After the abandonment- " Josephine stepped forward, hissing in a low voice,

"Abandonment?! I may not have been around but I am still your mother, so how dare you speak to me that way. I just asked how you have been since then and you take the opportunity to bite my head off." Her voice was raising in volume with each word. Some people around us turned their heads.

I grit my teeth and shook my head, looking down; refusing to say anything. My face flushed red with fury, just as hers did. Suddenly, she closed her eyes and let out a long exhale through her nose. This is new. I thought. Actual, proper anger management? I remained surprised for only a fleeting moment before I realized that she only did that because we were in public. Saving face meant everything to her. It may seem cynical of me to think that now, but it is not in the least. She's got a job that suits her perfectly. Fighting with underlings and striking deals with corporate snakes that would be beneficial to both parties. She finally got her dream job and her dream life, but there is nothing left where her heart once was. She sacrificed everything to be able to get her, including her family. Though, maybe family isn't the right word to describe an obligatory marriage caused by her unplanned pregnancy for which she paused her career and never, and I mean ever, let me forget.

"Yeah," I continued, softer. "abandonment. But, from what it looks like, you've gotten back on top." My tone was far more dismissive now.

Josephine smirked, "Yes, well, it wasn't easy. Getting here or the sacrifice it took." My eyes narrowed hearing that.

"You say that like you chose something at a coffee shop."

She let out an exasperated sigh, "Trenton, please, can we not do this here?"

"Well, it sure as hell is a long time coming, wouldn't you say?" I felt more words coming. I felt my chest swell with air, ready to belt out the most vile, toxic words I could muster ... but it all fell flat when I met her gaze. Suddenly, I felt 7 again, feeling just as defeated as I was back then when she gave me that glare. I fought back tears and looked away, just muttering "But, whatever, it doesn't matter now."

We stood tense for a few moments before she scoffed, giving up all efforts to make me speak. "Very well. I hope you enjoy your internship that I got you," she muttered and held out an envelope. The whole reason I had to meet her.

My entire countenance drained of color like a broken damn. I was as pale as paper. "Wha …?" I murmured.

"That's right," she laughed. "I am the whole reason you're here."

She pulled strings for me? I didn't get in?

I never want any kind of inside help, in anything I do. Surely my own mother, who was completely apathetic to the tears suddenly streaming down my face, would know.

But … she's no longer my mother! No! Not in any way, shape, or form! She once was, but never again will she be my mother.

"Here. This is for you," she muttered with a newly annoyed and frustrated tone to her voice. I took the envelope and she said a hasty goodbye before disappearing into the crowd. I was left there mortified with what few shreds of dignity and self worth I had left completely eviscerated by five minutes with her.

This can't be true! No, it can't … no!

I can't listen to her, she's wrong. She's trying to get under your skin.

That's why I'm here … so she can do that! I didn't win this by myself …

Where the sudden onslaught of rueful and militaristic voices waging battle over the concept came from, I don't know. It made me lower my head and press my arms to my torso, as if I was bracing for a punch. My mother needed only five minutes to completely ruin my self esteem. I put so much time, effort, and love for the science into my getting on this island. She ruined everything I worked for like it was just flicking a chess piece off of a board. The strength that I've built ever since coming out now in ruins.

I ran back to the hotel and onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow and staining the cloth with hot tears. I gripped the envelope in my hand, like a lifeline. It was the only thing keeping me here.

Though, even that was slim at this point.

Revision note: overall, this chapter stood well over time. There's much I want to do with the dynamic between these two characters. Girlboss Josephine vs. Her Sweet lil (stubborn ass) son part I of many!