Chapter 38: A Mother's Memories
I must say descending the mountain was much faster than climbing it. This was largely due to having some competent guides to show us the way. There was a fair amount of switchbacks we had to get through, heading near parallel to our destination and switching back to the opposite direction for the purpose of not making a suicidal descent. We made it down within the day. Then, our guides departed leaving us seven alone. We could already see Windclan's moors from here. The rest of the clans would not be that far from there. We were only about a day away, a day where we could still clearly see what was being done to the forest, our home.
I laid down uneasily. I'd need the energy tomorrow, but home was so close by. My heart yearned for the familiarity of Thunderclan's territory. I wanted to feel Dad grooming me while Father regaled us about the current ongoing politics of the clans. I wanted to hear Ashfur's craggily voice telling me about his strange philosophies built upon mutual benefit. I missed how the sun peeked through the leaves of the canopy above Thunderclan leaving little dots of light almost like small daytime stars. Despite my desires, I could tell I was not done. Midnight had warned us that the clans needed to flee and find a new home. Ours would be lost. Tears pricked my eyes as I remembered my position as a guardian. I… I wasn't sure if I'd even get the chance to see Thunderclan's camp again. Already Fourtrees was gone. Who was to say if Thunderclan's camp even remained.
I fitfully closed my eyes, hoping to somehow force myself to sleep. It was a while of fussing before I finally succumbed to darkness. There, another cat was waiting. Her impressive form lay before me. Her back was to me, and some kind of ethereal breeze ruffled her fur. I approached her, unseeing what it was that caught her attention. When I sat down beside her, I noticed that world had changed around me. This place looked familiar. The sound of birdsong greeted my ears as I began to recognize this place. It was a clearing Father had taken me to several times before. It had a small rock shelf making a cave that could only really fit one or two cats. Father had told me this clearing was significant, a place of privacy and safety. Within the clearing was three strange kits I'd never seen before. They tumbled and batted at each other, typical normal kit things. Some voice carried on the wind, drawing the kits' attention, guiding them away out of sight.
Then Mapleshade spoke for the first time this night. Her voice was calm and maternal, reminding me of Goldenflower. "This is one of my favorite memories. It's nothing much but the simple sight of my kits playing without a care in the world. It is also a bittersweet memory to me. It wasn't long after this that I lost them." She explained wistfully.
"Who were they?" I gently probed.
"The ginger and brown tom that seemed so timid was my little Patchkit. He was such a sweet kit. Although he wasn't quick to try new things, he had the kindest of hearts. I thought for a time that he'd take the path of medicine when he grew up. Then there is Petalkit, my beautiful little girl. Despite being the looker of the three, she was real feisty. Took after me. If she'd gotten to grow up, she'd have become a formidable warrior. Finally is Larchkit. He's the dark brown tom kit you saw before. He was the voice of reason with the three, even if they never really held to reason much at all. While I do not know what he could have grown up to become, I believe he was the wisest of the three. I still love them and mourn the chances they never got. I still hate those three that drove them to their fate. You'll find no remorse or guilt from me for what I did. A life for a life, a rule of nature older than the clans themselves, the cycle of revenge. My only regrets pertain to what I did after my passing, like what I did to Crookedstar in my mindless lust for revenge." She mewed in a strange calm tone.
"How far did you go?" I couldn't help asking, knowing fully well that the answer would be one I would not like.
"As I said. A life for a life." She mewed, somehow shifting the dream to make us appear within the cave to the Moonstone. Another Mapleshade lay hunched behind the stone. Her fur was matted and tangled. Her eyes spoke of malice and anticipation. She was waiting for someone. Then a black tom emerged into the cave. He smelled of Thunderclan and herbs. The Mapleshade of the past bared her team but made no noise, creeping up on the tom. She then struck him down in an instant. The pale light of the Moonstone made seeing the corpse an eerie sight.
"Ravenwing. I struck him down in Patchkit's name. He may have received a sign from Starclan that my kits were half clan, but he didn't need to out us and push for our exile during a storm of all times. What kind of medicine cat acts as a bringer of death instead of life? He deserved his fate." Mapleshade hissed at the dream.
The world shifted again to be at Snakerocks. This time the matted and revenge driven Mapleshade was poised on the top of one of the mounds in Snakerocks. Below was another molly with a golden and speckled pelt. The molly was hissing at Mapleshade with a look of sheer hatred, but the Mapleshade of the past had a strange look of feral smugness. Her paw rested against one of the stones, grinding it in place, irritating the angered molly below. When the molly came sprinting in, Mapleshade shifted the stone and a snake lashed out, catching the molly in the eye. The past Mapleshade gave a haunting laugh before padding away.
"Frecklewish. I once considered that cat like a sister, but what sister just watches as their sister's kits drown? What kind of sister drives out their sister in a storm? All this over an assumption I never confirmed. I never said the kits were Birchface's but they assumed and got mad when their assumption wasn't true, as if I lied to them. They fooled themselves and blamed me! I killed her in the name of Petalkit." Mapleshade ranted before calming.
The world shifted one last time to somewhere that appeared to be in Riverclan's territory. The past Mapleshade had some small cat pinned down, likely an apprentice. Then a tom and molly came wandering past, calling out a name. The paw pressed to the apprentice's neck kept the cat silent as Mapleshade watched the two with anticipation. Mapleshade's eyes flashed with anger at the sight of the molly being laden with kits. Then Mapleshade emerged from her hiding spot and a confrontation occurred. In a bout of murderous rage, Mapleshade lunged to kill the molly, but the tom intercepted, taking the fatal wound in her place. The apprentice from before came bounding out of the bushes and struck a vicious blow to Mapleshade's neck. Instead of fighting them further, Mapleshade simply limped away, much to the other two's confusion.
"Appledusk." The Mapleshade beside me spat. "What a worthless mate and worthless tom he was. I thought at one point in time that we truly loved each other. My kits were his, and yet he turned his back on me when I needed him most. He'd been cheating on me from the start, seeing Reedshine, that molly, and I at the same time. When I lost my kits and begged for mercy and lenience from Riverclan, he betrayed not only me but the memory of our kits. He called them mistakes and had Riverclan drive me off. I didn't even get the chance to bury my kits. I know he is there somewhere in Starclan, pretending that he lived a righteous life. I can't wait for him to someday make the mistake of chancing a pawstep into the Darkforest. I will be waiting for him to kill him once more, in the name of Larchkit."
Mapleshade suppressed her rage with a huff before giving me a strangely reassuring lick. "Now, I think I can put most of this behind me. It has been a long time since I had my revenge. I've got you and your father to care for. In a strange way, I see you two something like my kits. You seem stressed this night, so would you mind if I mothered you just this once?" She asked.
"That… sounds nice. Just this once." I answered slowly.
I heard her purr in a satisfying rumble as she ran her tongue across my coat. I knew it was a dream and would not do anything in the waking world, but it felt nice. I nuzzled up to her as she groomed me, driving me into a blissful dreamless sleep.