*TRIGGER WARNING* This shit gets pretty dark, I think...
ANYWAY...
So, I was just a bit bored one day, and did some random research...
Sooo... I named my character 'Lex' in honour of one of our huskies, whose name is Lexus, but thinking that's a horrible name for a kick ass female character, I had to come up with a more feminine name, so gave her the name Alexia. Upon doing said research the other night, I found out that the name Alexia means 'Defender of men.'
Da Da DA!
EDIT 15/05/2018 - Sorry kids! I was on the phone when I was editing and cleaning this chapter up so forgot my thank yous, and this morning, after some writing and editing, it dawned on me that I've actually stuffed up her timeline, which I need clear cut for the continuation of the fic, so I'm going back in to edit it! Cheers guys
Thank you to Cal-Kitty, Jadeamelia, lykaioski, AliceCullen3, Jordanden, BaritoneMufasa, ingisned, A1m0st1sN3v3rEn0ugh, Ryuzuki Junrei, Tick Tock Follow the Clock, langdonlexis, rockobrocko, PeriAce, thenumbertwentyseven, and laraliz16 for following/favouriting
And also thanks to all the reviews I've gotten!
Enjoy
xo
Chapter 12
History
"Whoa!" Steve exclaimed, grabbing at her shoulders quickly as she moved to sit up. "Calm down, you're safe."
"Lex, it's alright, it's us!" Bucky felt her hand squeezing his, with pain starting to shoot up his arm. "Take it easy!"
It took some effort, but Steve held her to the bed until her awareness kicked in and she realised she was safe. She laid back and breathed, easing her grip on Bucky's hand, but not letting go.
"What the hell, guys, what happened?"
Steve glanced at Bucky with concern, which Bucky reciprocated. "How much do you remember?" he asked, looking back down at her.
She pulled a face, looking between the two, licking her bottom lip before wincing as she touched the stitches. "Uh... an explosion and then the silo coming down around me."
Steve and Bucky both furrowed their brows and looked at her critically. "Are you sure?" Steve pressed, concerned creases forming on his face, as he moved to stand next to Bucky.
Lex's face changed to one of concern then, and he felt her grip on his hand tighten slightly. "Yes... am I missing something?"
Bucky chewed the inside of his cheek. She'd lost at least a whole hour of memory. He looked down at his hand that she still held in hers. She followed his gaze, quickly releasing his hand when she saw her hold on it, looking apologetic as he twisted it slightly to relax the muscles.
"I'll get a doctor," Steve murmured, before hurrying out into the hallway.
Bucky looked at Lex as she started to sit upright, her face etched with concern, occasionally twitching as if she was trying to remember what had happened. "How are you feeling?"
She glanced up at him, considering his question before looking down at her arms and legs. She noticed the heavy bandages around her shoulder, as well as the stitches here and there on her arms and legs. She touched her face, running her fingers along the long row of stitches that spread down the side of her face from her ear.
"Well, no modelling career for me, it seems," she joked finally, putting her hands down onto the bed and trying to push herself up into a more comfortable position. Bucky went to reach for her with his left hand, before remembering he no longer had use of one. He helped hoist her up with his right, letting her resettle more comfortably.
She looked to his left shoulder, a concerned look appearing on her features. "What happened to your arm?"
He smiled grimly. "Refurbishing," he answered jokingly, rather than giving the honest answer. He wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to tell her what really happened right now.
Whatever the case, she looked at him sceptically, but didn't ask anymore, instead, looking past him to the door as Steve walked in with a doctor, Shuri and T'challa. She quickly tensed and her eyes narrowed warily, as she shrank back into the pillows when T'challa approached her bed.
"You may relax, Miss Nikulkin, it would appear we are on the same side, now," T'challa greeted, slowing as he moved closer to the bed, his hands raised in a submissive gesture. Lex glanced from T'challa, to Steve and then back to Bucky, who nodded at her, conveying she was safe.
She sat back up slightly, taking in T'challa and Shuri for a moment. "It's Lex, just Lex." She looked at Bucky and Steve. "No, seriously, what did I miss?"
After explaining where they were and how they'd come to be there, Shuri and a doctor examined Lex, taking her for further brain scans and x-rays. They found that the fractures in her spine had already healed over, and some of the fractures in her arms and legs had also healed. Her ribs were still broken though, which made moving for her quite difficult.
After they did some brain scans, Shuri hurried into the room where they were waiting to hear on the results.
"You guys, check this out." She moved some beads on her wrist, bringing up Lex's brain scan as a hologram. "This is Alexia's brain on the left, on the right, is mine." Another scan appeared. The two were similar, except for what reminded Bucky of a dark undercurrent, moving around at a fast pace, inside Lex's brain. "This thing, I have never seen anything like it before."
"What is it?" Steve asked curiously, looking closely at the scan with interest.
"I believe it is a chemical component that was in the serum used on Alexia. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were the first human subject?" Shuri looked at Lex for clarification.
"As far as I'm aware, I didn't really look into it much, if I'm honest," Lex answered with a shrug.
Shuri looked at the men around her. "It is possible that this chemical component is affecting how her body reacts to instances of stress or emotion. However, I wouldn't be able to confirm that without testing."
Bucky looked at Lex, trying to gauge her reaction. She looked thoughtfully at Shuri, a frown on her face. "When you say, affecting my body, what do you mean?"
Shuri reduced the hologram again, pursing her lips slightly as she thought about Lex's question. "So for an average human, emotions and stress can affect the body by pumping adrenaline or in the opposite instance, sending the body into shock. I think, whatever chemical this is, its overriding some of the body's and the brain's natural reactions, and when you become emotional or under extreme amounts of stress, it shuts down your pain receptors while increasing the adrenaline, possibly even increasing your brain activity, from the accounts of what I've been told happened to you."
Bucky stood stunned for a moment, contemplating Shuri's explanation. Steve spoke up first. "Is it possible, that this chemical when it activates, could also completely wipe her memory in extreme circumstances when it's triggered?"
Shuri nodded. "It is extremely likely, that would be its way of protecting the brain from trauma."
Bucky looked to Steve. "That's why she can't remember."
Lex looked between the two of them, an expectant look on her face. "What?"
Bucky looked at Lex sympathetically. "You've lost at least an hour of your memory. You got caught up in the collapse of the silo, but even with all the injuries you were carrying, after you eventually came to, you managed to get to us and attack Tony."
"We didn't know how extensive your injuries were at the time, but according to the doctors, it was a feat that you could even walk, let alone run or fight," Steve explained. He motioned to her bandaged shoulder. "You'd been impaled at some point, that shoulder shouldn't have been able to move without severe pain, yet you used it when you tackled and fought Tony."
Bucky watched as Lex licked her lips nervously. This must have been hard for her to wrap her head around. She looked at Bucky. "Do you have the same chemical component?"
Bucky looked to Shuri. She moved the beads on her wrist again, and two holograms appeared, this time of what appeared to be blood samples.
"Bucky's is on the left. Alexia's is the right." It was plain to see, Lex's blood behaved differently to Bucky's. A dark ring encircled her blood cells, while Bucky's did not. "Her blood cells have this strange substance surrounding them, I believe it is related to the chemical component and I am not sure what it does to her blood, but I will run further tests, with her permission." She looked expectantly at the other woman.
Lex shrugged in response. "Sure, it's not going to change anything though, will it?"
Bucky was concerned that perhaps she was struggling with the overwhelming amount of information she was receiving all at once and watched her carefully, looking for any tells that she was struggling with the current situation.
"Very well, Shuri, she will be in your care for the time being," T'challa said matter-of-factly.
Shuri rubbed her hands together. "I'm going to be a busy girl with Sergeant Barnes de-programming and Alexia's research."
Lex looked from Shuri to Bucky. "De-programming?"
Bucky bit his bottom lip awkwardly, suddenly feeling slightly ashamed under the woman's gaze.
"Ooohh, my bad..." Shuri mumbled, looking apologetic. "I'll just go back to my lab and prepare... Uh... yeah..." T'challa looked at his sister with a meaningful glare, motioning for her to hurry out of the room, he followed her out hastily.
"Uh, I'm going to go out there," Steve also murmured hastily, throwing a sympathetic look to Bucky, before patting Lex on the shoulder. "Rest, okay?"
Lex nodded, giving a grateful smile and nod to Steve and watching as he moved to the door. Bucky swallowed a lump in his throat as Steve shut the door after him, Lex turning her attention back to him with an expectant look on her face. He wasn't sure why she was making him anxious, she wasn't wearing her usual malevolent or menacing grin, nor did she look angry. She simply looked curious.
"I'm going back into cryo-sleep stasis."
"Next to the frozen peas, I assume?" she queried, not even batting an eyelid. He gave a small laugh at her instant retort. "Why?" He sighed, pressing his lips together as he considered how best to answer her. Her face went from carefree interest to subtle concern. She shifted sideways and patted the edge of her bed.
He accepted the offer and sat carefully on the edge, turning slightly to the side to look at her.
He took a deep breath, before speaking his mind. "Although, you said differently on the Quinjet on the way to Siberia, the fact of the matter is, I'm not a good guy." She screwed up her face at him skeptical but didn't interrupt. "With this programming in my head, I'm a very dangerous man. Without it I'm probably still a dangerous man, but I'm a dangerous man with a choice, it's different."
He saw Lex's eyebrows raise slightly, before her face was blank of expression. "Fair enough. I can understand why you would want that then." She cocked her head to one side, her brown eyes drifting to look out the window before her, that overlooked the Golden City, capital of Wakanda.
"It's not a bad view to fall asleep to, I guess," she murmured, as the setting sun coloured the sky orange, the sun's rays casting a light over Lex's face and altering the colour of her eyes so they appeared slightly golden.
He considered her for a moment. "I've seen worse," he replied, before turning to look out the window behind him too. "You going to be okay?" he asked softly.
She turned to look back at him, a seemingly calm expression on her face. She nodded and gave a small smile. "I've been around too long for things like this to actually have an effect on me anymore," she answered, motioning towards the view out the window.
He nodded. It was understandable, even if his first glimpse of the city had left him speechless. Unlike he and Steve, who had spent time frozen in one way or another, she had lived in civilisation, learning and watching as technology and life changed through the ages. He wondered if she had ever been close to anyone, and had to watch as time took them away from her.
He grew curious then, biting his lip as he looked back at her. He didn't realise he had been staring so obviously at her again until she sighed, looking down at her hands. "Go ahead."
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "What?"
"Ask."
She had read him like a book, not even flinching at the thought. He considered which of the many questions he had, to ask her first.
"How did you end up in The Red Room, if you're Australian by birth?"
She pressed her lips into a thin line. "My parents were Soviet spies, embedded in Australia, my mother was actually a Black Widow herself for a time, as I was so kindly reminded over and over again, in The Academy. I was born in Australia, and then when I was about six they were called back to Russia. My mother didn't want to go, she enjoyed the life in Australia, the freedoms and what not. My father was furious."
She took a deep breath and her face contorted as if she was in pain, before she spoke again. "I watched my father, murder my mother. She refused to raise a hand against him, she had done enough hurting of people in her time and was done with it." Lex began picking at the sheet that lay across her legs. Bucky saw her eyes beginning to gloss over, as she bit her bottom lip, before wincing as her skin stretched under the stitches.
"He took you back to Russia?"
Lex nodded, looking back up and out the window again, although she didn't appear to be looking at anything in particular, her face completely void of any emotion. "We returned to Russia, he was greeted as a hero, but I could see, he didn't feel like one. Killing her had an effect on him, even if he wouldn't admit it, and he couldn't even look at me anymore. So, he gave me to The Red Room."
Bucky stared at her. She had joined The Red Room when she was six. SIX. Still a child.
"I began training younger than any other student. I was a fast learner. They didn't know that day by day, I was learning more and more eagerly, and using the thought of killing my teachers as a way to keep pushing on through the training, and the pain. By fifteen, I was ready to graduate."
She took a deep breath, before lifting the bottom of her hospital shirt, looking down as she lowered the waist of her hospital pants slightly, exposing a long, thin scar along the base of her tummy. "Sterilisation, they introduced it after my mother, so I'm told, couldn't have anymore Widows crack under their maternal instincts now, could they? It was the hardest thing for me to accept. I wanted to fight back right then and there, but I knew that it wasn't my time yet."
She dropped her top back down before pinning Bucky with an icy look. "HYDRA rocked up on my sixteenth birthday. I remember Madame B, she brought in this slimy looking man, he had a gaunt face and the way he looked at me made my skin crawl. They made me fight soldiers, four of them, all at once; but I killed every single one. And then, he said I would do." She looked away again. "A week later, they came back and gave me a needle. It was the most pain I had ever felt in my body, but not in my mind. While it felt like my whole entire body was on fire, I kept thinking about what I needed to do. I think it's what stopped me from ending my own life, then and there."
Bucky frowned, watching Lex's expression change from sad to angry before calming again. His own memories began to appear in his head, but he focused his attentions on her face, to keep the images at bay.
"After a week, I was back to training, but my body was different, I was faster, I was stronger and my brain seemed to work faster too. I actually considered breaking out then, but my childish curiosity kept me there."
Bucky looked at her in confusion. "Curiosity? About what?"
"What else could they give me? What else could I use against them? I stayed to see if this HYDRA, could help me destroy The Red Room."
Bucky raised his eyebrows in surprise. A sixteen year old, and all she was thinking about was how she could hurt those, that hurt her. At sixteen, he and Steve were thinking about girls, sneaking drinks or the war happening in a far off country and how they would be looking to serve their country.
"God knows, if my body hadn't burned through that drug they put in me to knock me out, I don't know how much worse I would be than I am now." She looked meaningfully at Bucky then, catching his gaze with her deep brown eyes. "So when I say you're a good guy, Bucky, I mean it. You don't have a bad bone in your body, it's just bad people that got into your head."
He sighed, looking at her sadly, before giving her a small, sympathetic smile, which she returned, before looking away. "What happened after you escaped?"
She grinned malevolently then and Bucky could see her beginning to swell with prid. "A lot." Bucky was almost nervous, seeing the way she smiled as she looked like she was reminiscing in her own mind. "I went after the guards first, picking them off one by one. And then, I began killing the teachers, killing each one I could find in the ways they had each taught me to kill. One was through poison, one was through torture, a few were just your typical and straightforward knife to the chest. I made sure each one knew it was coming though, and I made damn sure, their colleagues knew it was me too." She ran her finger along her chin then, smiling thoughtfully. "I've still got a few scars from the ones that fought back."
He looked closer, leaning in towards her slightly and seeing that she was touching the faintest of scars on her chin. "What was that?" he asked.
"Sword. Admittedly, did not see that one coming," she replied, pulling a face. She nestled into her pillows, leaning back from Bucky again. "That's when they decided to send people after me. The Red Room first, and then HYDRA agents. They were harder to pick, they were so good at blending into their surrounds. Almost invisible. The Red Room was easier to spot, it's handy when you know what to look for." She sighed then, looking sadly down at her hands in her lap. "It got too much though, on one occasion, they took out a whole apartment building to try and kill me. I knew then, I needed to disappear, I didn't mind getting their blood on my hands, but innocent people were being killed because of me. Children."
She stared off into the distance, deep in thought, as he contemplated everything she had told him. It made him almost grateful that he was programmed and wiped clean, not trained the way she was. Almost.
He considered her, looking her up and down for a moment. "You're a hundred and twenty, right?" She glanced up at him expectantly, although furrowing her brow. "When did you realise, you weren't aging normally?" She didn't look like she could be any older than her thirties, apart from her scars, her skin was still smooth and her body fit.
She frowned, seeming to think hard about his questions. "I don't know, it's been so long." She shrugged. "Maybe in 1936, I should have been celebrating my thirtieth birthday, but I still looked barely eighteen. I had to make friends with people in low places and get them to teach me how to make fraudulent certificates and passports as time went by, and changing my appearance regularly, as I had to move from country to country regularly, to stay off the radar."
He nodded, it made sense. He looked at the woman for a moment, before grinning at her. She looked back at him with a suspicious look on her face. "I'm not gonna lie, it's so weird looking at someone who is actually older than me."
She rolled her eyes and smacked his shoulder with the back of her hand and shook her head, before laughing.
Bucky sat on a bed, watching as lab technicians moved around preparing a cryo-stasis pod under Shuri's instructions. He was dressed in only a white singlet and light hospital pants, his left shoulder capped with a temporary prosthetic to protect it from the cold.
Steve was with him, as was Lex, a majority of her injuries now fully healed. She stood next to Steve, watching as the techs moved around with a sense of urgency. She looked so nonchalant about the whole environment. She was also dressed in a light pair of hospital pants with a black singlet on, her tanned skin contrasting against the colour. He could see the scars that lined her arms, as she stood under the bright lights of the lab.
Steve appraised Bucky, concern etched into his face. "You sure about this?"
Bucky sighed, resting his hand on his knee and looking up at Steve as Lex turned her attention back to them. "I can't trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head," he motioned to his own forehead. "I think going back under is the best thing ...for everybody."
Steve nodded, although the disappointment was evident in his posture.
Bucky's gaze slid to Lex as she stood with her arms crossed and a small, understanding smile on her face. "What are you going to do?" he asked with interest.
She shrugged. "It depends on all this testing, once it's done, I don't know. See how the world is moving, see if I can slide back into civilisation unnoticed again." She motioned to Steve. "See if he can keep himself out of trouble. I'm sure I'll find something to do."
Bucky chuckled at her jab at Steve, who laughed bashfully as well. "Well, I hope it goes well for you, and I might see you again one day."
Lex shrugged and was about to respond but Shuri piped up as she approached them with her brother in tow. "Oh, I'm certain you will, I imagine she will be sticking around for a little while at least," Shuri said, looking at Lex and smiling before looking back to Bucky.
"And I'll be sure to call them both when Shuri has a solution and seeks to bring you back into the world." T'challa winked at Bucky, giving him an assuring nod.
Shuri motioned towards the cryo-pod. "We are ready for you."
Bucky sighed nervously, stood and turned to Steve, hugging his old friend tightly. Steve eventually released him. "Take care, pal," Bucky said as he stepped back.
He turned to Lex next, who cocked her head to one side, looking up at him expectantly, a small smile across her lips. "And you, tone down the crazy," he said, pointedly at her.
She winked in response, unfolding her arms and shoving her hands in her pockets. "There's no fun in that, Bucky." He wasn't sure how she would react, considering he had never seen her close to anyone, let alone touch anyone, unless she was trying to kill them, but he quickly reached out, wrapping his right arm around her shoulders and bringing her into his chest.
He felt her stiffen under his arm, but he maintained his hold on her, dropping his head so that he could whisper in her ear. "Take care of yourself."
As he held her there, he couldn't help but enjoy the scent of her hair and skin, it reminded him of fresh flowers and vanilla. He was reluctant to let her go, but when she didn't move, he loosened his hold on her.
He was surprised when he felt her arms wrap around his waist slowly. "I'll try," she whispered, Bucky noticing a slight waver in her voice.
He finally let her go, finding her cheeks pink, as she was quick to look away from anyone, seemingly interested in the cryo-pod. He looked back to Steve, who had a knowing grin on his face. He'd seen that look on his face before, many, many years before.
Bucky nodded to Shuri, then stepped into the cryo-pod, turning around and resting against the back as Steve, Lex and T'challa watched on. The door was shut and Bucky felt the cold air rushing around him as his gaze fell upon Lex, her face as nonchalant as ever, before closing his eyes and drifting into darkness.
Steve stood staring through a window overlooking Golden City as T'Challa walked towards he and Lex.
"Thank you for this."
"Your friend and my father, they were both victims. If I can help one of them find peace..." T'challa replied with a nod of his head. He looked at Lex, who met his gaze. "And you will both be most welcome amongst us."
Lex gave the slightest of smiles, but said nothing as she looked back out the window and over the city. She began to walk away, silently, her posture slightly slumped to Steve's eyes as he watched her walk away.
He looked back to T'challa. "You know, if they find out he's here... they'll come for him," Steve murmured, still watching as Lex disappeared down another hallway. "If they find out they're both here."
T'challa smirked cunningly at Steve. "Let them try."
AAARRRGGGGHHHHH
So this is going onto hiatus for a week or so while I work out the kinks in the transition from CW to BP or IW...
See you on the other side
xo
Krayzee