Catelyn Littaker, 95 PTD, Victor's Party.
Catelyn has never attended anything this obnoxiously outlandish. The Heavensbees have hosted the Party for years, apparently, inviting all Victors to attend. A good way to socialize, to attract sponsors, to generally look good in front of the people they need to impress if they want any chance of their tribute making it through the Games.
Which means Cat, who won all of about six months ago, feels out of place as a cow among clouds, tottering to and fro on too-high heels. The Capitolites swarming her are about the only thing keeping her upright, even if they are too touchy-feely. Not just where one would expect, but feeling her muscles, oohing and aahing at the idea that this was the kind of force, the kind of build which any girl with even an idea of how to use knives required. So different, they said, so exotic compared to the slender Ones and their blades. Like that didn't bring back thoughts of another life and a One girl, like their words don't cut her as did the sand from the Arena.
Cat, of course, has little idea of how to handle herself. What she does know is that the party was teeming with Victors, and she was both the one with the largest following and the least experience. But now? Hyde, Chrissie, Angus have all fucked off to who knows where, which leaves her an island in the middle of Capitolites. It isn't the worst on its own, but the main issue is the incessant chatter and it's so dull. So full of nothing, and Cat feels like each shadow is after her.
First off, there's the issue of how useless every question is. "Did you really like Joyeux like that?" (Yes) "Are you sure that cutting down that little girl was the right choice?" (it was at the time, anybody denying that didn't know what life was like before, but now that Cat's finished. Won? Well, maybe it wasn't) "If you had to go through the Games again, would you do anything differently?" (I wouldn't get attached). But she couldn't say any of that, any of the answers that bubbled to her lips before she swallowed them back down. She couldn't say the things she needed to say. Instead, she smiles and laughs like she'd been told to do. Joy was fun, but they were just good friends! She definitely had to kill, even made it quick! If she'd do anything differently, she'd "make sure I didn't slip!" That draws a laugh. Of course it does.
And now she has a long queue of questions, no, supplications being offered. A tall lady who looks like a giraffe, smiling and tottering in her heels and squealing about how she just loves Ten, how she might switch her sponsorship from One over if they keep this up, or at least a part of it. A squat man with a round belly and a bald head, muttering something about how engaging she was and how he wanted to have a talk with her at some point, get to know her a little better. Giggly little blonde secretaries and attendants from One, pressing their hands into hers in a gloved shake and speaking about how they just know she'd love to meet their boss. Even if she wouldn't, really, and she can see a look in their eyes that they can't place. But they hand over the business cards, and she takes them, and refuses to think about how much these girls look like Joy. Tries to think about how she's just going home soon, soon. You can sit in quiet and hide away at home.
Until one of the Ones grabs her arm without any choreographing, and Cat has to restrain herself - after an initial lunge towards them checked with a laugh and an attempt to play it off- from grabbing one of the nearby steak knives. The blonde woman offers a smile to the crowd. "Sorry, doves. Catelyn has a hot date tonight. Victor business, we're all going. But she's looking forward to seeing all of you again soon." Cat can feel herself being dragged out of the room, gloved hand on her arm, and once they're through a second door tries to shake the hand off. "What the hell? I'm here on invitation, and you're dragging me off? Who even are you?"
"Nobody wants to be there! I just got you out of that." Attempts to shake the hand off are met with a tighter grip. "You should be thanking me, Catelyn Littaker. They're piranhas, and I do not envy your new Victory, I got enough of an issue as is. You're coming with me."
The statement's worrying. "Coming where?"
Her temporary captor finally stops, finally offers a smile. "You're coming to meet your peers, Miss Littaker. We've been looking forward to this. You've met the Capitol, now you're going to meet us."
"Us?"
"The other Victors, silly!" Her voice is light, and for a second Cat can ignore the fact that this is a girl who'd dragged her off, focus on stabbing down the ghost of rage and anger. Then she's eyeing the woman again.
"Who are you?"
The arm is released, and a gloved hand extended. "Amethyst Pallemo. Victor of the 91st Annual, and for the moment your guide to the Capitol. Until we get to the party, the real one - not this alcohol-free abomination."
This so-called second party is news to Cat.
Amethyst tosses her blonde hair (streaked with purple) back and winks at her. "Come on, loosen up! You need to meet your peers, and we need to catch up with you and each other. Regular scheduled event and all, even Lacie will be there and I'm pretty sure it's past her bedtime." Said with a laugh, that last sentence feels less serious.
That name Cat recognizes more easily, the little girl from Eight who won the year before her in circumstances everybody found a little questionable. Carried for most of the Games, then stabbing her ally. It was a rather unceremonious ending, even if the post-Games ceremonies had tried to make out the impression the girl had intended to kill more. She hadn't. Not according to the gossip going around Ten. After all, it was their girl she'd killed. Their Victory she'd taken.
All thoughts of Lacie, or any other Victors, are chased out of her mind as Amethyst guides her into a car and goes in next, slapping the roof and slamming the door. It begins to shift, and the vehicle is now oddly small. Small enough that Cat can hear her own breath, feel the warmth in the car, and in an instant it's back: the flashes of nights in a warm tent, nestled together in a single sleeping bag because it was so cold. The memories of a bad chat and a good night. Memories of a final, glorious, fight in the rays of the setting sun. It's warm, in that memory.
Joy's right there. She knows she is. She can see the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the pale throat that got split so suddenly. She knows that Joy's right there, with a smile painted across her lips and that light that dances in her eyes and the warmth Cat can feel just by being in her presence. It's a nice warmth, back at camp with the fire roaring and a (spare) sleeping bag draped over the log that they're perched on. Safety, a feeling rare in the Games, washes over her. So she whispers, a quiet one. "Hey, Joy. We still partners?"
They need to be watching each other's backs. Safer that way.
"Joy? Cat, Joy's dead." Not Joy. Amethyst. It all comes flooding back. The party, victory, the car. The knife going through Joy's shoulder and throat and as if she hadn't had all that pass in front of her eyes in a split-second Cat flies back, bumping into the door with a thud and eyeing Amethyst. "Sorry, Amethyst. Sorry, Amethyst. Sorry, Amethyst. I just..."
"I know." The words cut through any attempt at an apology like a knife through pale skin, and Amethyst simply nods. "I know, Catelyn. We all went through that. We all have our own reactions to the shit we had to go through. Call me Amy, by the way, Amethyst is a mouthful."
Cat's breathing, blood beating a drumbeat in her ears. She's seeing Amy, Joy, Amy, Joy. They're blending together, Amy leaning back, Joy's eyes filled with some blue concern. Everything else is blurring, she can feel tingles running up her spine and arms and wants to step out and breathe but she can't.
Cat wants to hide. Slip into the sleeping bag she has at home, put herself away and only get out when she's boiling like a cow in a metal shed. But she can't. She has to look down, look up at Joy, smile at Amy as if it's all fine, cover her eyes.
Wait.
The rest of the drive is spent in companionable silence, Amy nodding and offering the occasional smile that promises Cat she understands. It's a good smile, a kind smile, a smile that reassures Cat Amy knows exactly what's going on. As if anyone could. The car slows, and with a jolt, stops, the blonde next to Cat throwing open the door before smiling, stepping out and holding out a hand. "Welcome to Bell's. Trust me, we're going to be quite fine here. Now, we do have an appointment, so." Taking the hand with as light a grip as possible, Cat steps out onto the street. It's well-appointed with luxury, fending off baying crowds.
Metal railings flank a red carpet, Flashing lights flickering as if the entirety of Ten is flicking their lights on and off at once. Muffled yells of "Catelyn, over here!" can be heard, with questions and demands and everything else. She's almost ready, almost going over when she feels a tug on her sleeve from a smiling Amethyst - no, Amy.
"Catelyn, don't. I know you want to, but Panem above they'll drag you in like a pack of dogs. Just ignore them, before they get any ideas they can get us to follow their leash as the Sponsors can. This is the sole social event of the year they don't get access to, these lot would give their arms and legs to get in. Ignore them."
After that advice she wordlessly does, following Amy into a roar of lights and colours. Victors everywhere she can see, sixty famed persons she's only read about in class or knows from Ten. There's Ash and Darter of the 78th and 79th, laughing with Gloss over a pyramid of empty glasses. There's some kind of game involving throwing small balls into cups and then drinking the contents, a handful of Ones, a dash of Fives and several other individuals clustered around them and excitedly laughing when someone gets two in a row. Iliamna Reed is off in a corner, sulking. Cat's turning a thousand ways, trying to catch glimpses, but nobody's stopping long enough for an eyeful.
She's soon parked firmly at a booth by Amethyst, before the One disappears into the crowd. In her absence, people start coming over to congratulate her. First, with visibly dragged feet, Cecelia chaperoning Lacie over. Catelyn isn't sure whether the Eights are legitimately trying to make nice, whether they've had some legitimate reason forged that means they want to interact with her or some other consideration. Either way, the fact they're first feels off. But she'd say she's duly gracious, polite and nice to Lacie, making sure Cecelia is as much at ease as possible allowing the younger Victor to interact with her. It's nice to have this, really, after what's happened with her own family. To have normalcy with a kid.
Sabine and Sekiga, and Thalia, from Two. They're all nice, polite and congratulating Cat on her victory, but she can see accusations behind five brown eyes even if they all speak with light tones. That she didn't deserve to win, that what she and Joy did to Onyx was awful and horrific and should never have been done. Cat can accept that criticism from them, more than anyone else. They know what it's like in the Arena. She had done a bad thing in killing her ally even for a 'good' cause. Still, it's not right for them to judge her on her actions because they didn't live them, didn't throw knives at a boy they'd come to view of as a friend. Didn't kill a girl they'd grown to, if not love, then care for deeply, except Cat hears Sabine and Thalia and maybe they did. She bids them all farewell, and gets more genuine smiles.
Then it's the turn of the Fours, the Sevens, the Sixes. All relatively small delegations, one or two or three. Coming over, promising that they're fine with what happened even if Catelyn can look beyond somewhat concealed, disappointed expressions. No Victor ever holds against another what they did in the Arena. Everyone's told her that, and she hopes they're right, but still that hope is dashed for now. Cat just hopes that it'll be better later. It must be.
Amethyst and some others sit at her table after disappearing, hemming her in on one side, leaving the other open. As if something is going to happen, and of course it does.
Sabine, no, just Sab, jumps up on a table, and now Cat's expecting trouble. It's not until she hears the words and what comes after, though, that the horror runs deep. "Ladies, Gentlemen and Skate!" A round of good-natured laughter passes around the room, and she continues, words slurred. "So... to commemorate our newest family member... Catelyn Littaker... We have..." A hiccup. "A reading!"
Allie Turner, 24 and as always beautiful, comes up and replaces Essie, letting the heavily drunken Two sit back down. That trademark mischievous smile that had charmed seven into underestimating her is on her lips, and her pad is in hand. "Ladies, Gentleman and Skate. For your entertainment, I'm standing here in place of Lacie. She of all people shouldn't be reading this. So, for your pleasure and fun. A reading, from the depths of FicArch."
Shit.
"The first chapter of A Dance for Two, by jemmareader. Jemma, many thanks for giving us this."
Silence reigns, for a moment, before the room erupts into chaos. Laughter, hissing, a panicked yell from Cecelia in the corner that "Lacie isn't old enough, yet!" It's anarchy, and not the good kind.
"It was a cold night, in the lone and level sands of her Arena. Winds whipped, a lone muttcat in the distance ululated. It was cold." The room is silent now, enraptured in this unfolding nightmare. "Together sat Joyeux and Catelyn. Sisters in arms. Joyeux, blue of eye and blonde of hair, gorgeous and deadly like a lioness of old. Catelyn, plainer, but what she lacked in looks she made up for in heart."
The sounds of faux vomiting can be heard, and Cat slams a fist on the table. The words are enough to elicit almost illness. A hand rests on her arm, and laughter rolls around, silencing when Allie continues. "Suddenly, Catelyn snuggles into Joyeux's side. She's speaking, her tone is pleaful. 'Oh please Joyeux, they're all asleep. I want your blades in me'." No, this can't be. This is... worse than anticipated, and Cat's ready to cry at the words as it continues.
"Joy responds, anger in her voice. 'No, Cat. I still think we hadn't had to kill him, he was just trying to be good.' Him referring, of course, to Onyx, who Catelyn had killed when he'd tried to stop her from slaying the two Twelve tributes. Such a shame." Horror is etched onto Cat's face, now. She wants this to end, to curl up and die.
Amber from One, giggling to herself, walks past with a wink. "Kid, we all had to go through this. You're going to have to accept it. Don't worry, you get to do the reading next year. In the meantime…" A glass is slid onto the table, fancy and colourful and eyed with a distrustful glance by Cat.
"I thought we weren't meant to drink until twenty here?"
Amy and Amber trill out disturbingly similar laughs, and the glass is nudged a few inches closer to her. "This is the Capitol, darling. And you're a Victor. Nobody gets pissy over us having a little bit of fun. You're one of us, now, Cat, Enjoy it."
Taking a sip, Cat promptly spits it out as laughter erupts from the table. The taste is terrible, burning and yet sickly sweet all at once. The first to react is the big man from Four, who laughs and throws over a roll of towels. "You're cleaning that up, Catelyn. Don't want your mess everywhere."
Cat does get to cleaning it up, cheeks still flushed red as the words burn into her.
"And then Catelyn, her eyes filled with the burning desire not just to kill but to love, shuffles in closer, mirroring Joyeux from earlier. It was a gorgeous night, and one that was made better when Catelyn reached a hand towards Joyeux, slipping it up and under her shirt, before..." It continues in this vein.
Glancing to her left, Cat can see Cecelia, hands cupped over Lacie's ears. Probably for the best. Even if odds are high a fifteen year old wrote this, best for a fifteen year old not to hear this. Her IQ's dropping just listening to it, for goodness' sake.
"Catelyn leans in, and Joyeux can feel the cool breath of the Ten girl on her pale scalp, before they fall each other like rabid dogs."
By the end of that part, after pages of descriptions of things Catelyn wasn't sure actually existed, she's blushing. Several people have walked past and commented on how some of the described things are 'so overrated' or how sorry they are this was the fiction they'd chosen. Their sympathies don't matter in Cat's head given what's happening, even if surely they've had the same issue as she's having now. Still, it's nice to know these people at least say they care.
"And then, when they're done, they snuggle up back next to each other. Joyeux drags her sleeping bag up, of course she does, she's a One. She can fit in the same one as Catelyn, probably."
Another round of laughter, and a drunk blonde at the back waves her arms with a yell of "It's worth it!" Amethyst, Amber, other Ones echo this, Two Victors as well. They'd know. They aren't entirely without pity, though, in spite of laughter.
One arm wraps around Cat's shoulders, Amethyst's smile is predatory and sympathetic at once. "Really am sorry. When it's over, we can drown your sorrows. For now, I think I'd get taped to the roof if I'd tried."
Cat's about to laugh when a whisper from the Six victor, Madison, flits over to her. The tone is frankly a little horrified in the grand scheme of things, but Madison's sincerity seeps through it. "It's true, trust me. I've seen it. They'll get you down, but it's still a thing. You do not want to be caught causing issue here. This is like, the grand convocation of insanity." Whatever Madison is saying next is drowned out. The general din of the room, and then the piercing scream of a whistle like it's about to stab in one eardrum and out the other.
Where Allie's got a whistle from, Catelyn doesn't know. "There's still more READING. You will be silent!" The room is, and Allie speaks again. "You're all worse behaved than my Wednesday class and they're twelve. Fucking disgraces, the lot of you."
More laughter, and some other Five chimes in. "Aye to that."
"And then, with a giggle, Joyeux shuffles out, grabs a second sleeping bag and zips it to the first one."
"Boring! One fits two!" Another whistle screech, and the heckler in the crowd is silent.
"They both climb in, snuggling together until they need a second, third, fourth to stuff their double sleeping bag to keep warm in the biting chill of the night, the sands shifting around them. If only they knew what would be revealed end of Chapter One."
The room bursts into applause, enthusiastic until a chant rolls up. "Chapter Two! Chapter Two! Chapter Two!" Grey eyes flit over to Catelyn, who shakes her head, and Allie takes back the microphone.
"Unfortunately, I don't think that would be fair to Catelyn. I all know we want to hear more, but the needs of our friend come first. And on that note, Catelyn Littaker. Get your hide up here!"
She doesn't want to. It's too much, too great. But then Amethyst begins shifting her out, and those to her left begin to stand to make room. Eventually, Cat's been edged out of the seat, and with a begrudging walk she's off towards Allie at a slow pace. Her suit feels uncomfortably tight, and yet Allie offers a smile and a wink and a 'you did great, sweetheart' as Cat clambers onto the table, hand raised by Allie's.
"A year ago today, we had Lacie standing here. Fifteenth birthday celebration for her as well, and I'd still argue my present was the best. Before that, Madison! Before her was Hyde, after Amy. And so, ladies, gentlemen. Estoc. I give you the pleasure of welcoming the newest member of our little circle! A young woman I'm sure will make a welcome change from her grumpy shit of a mentor, am I right?" General agreement fills the room, Hyde even nodding along. "Catelyn Littaker! She's not making a big speech, because you all want to hear me talk, don't you?"
Cat agrees, if only in her head. Much preferable is Allie talking to her talking, especially when Cat's standing up here looking like a well-dressed penguin, like those from the 93rd.
"But."
Shit.
"She's saying a few words anyways. Do forgive her for brevity, she's not been warned." The microphone is passed over, and now it's her turn to stand in the spotlight.
"H-hi, everyone." A murmur of hi's back, and Cat's building momentum. "I'm glad to... to see you all here. I'm very grateful to everyone for hosting, and thank you to everyone who's come up tonight." A cheer from the back, and she gets a brief flash of... something. "I'm sorry about all your tributes." More murmurs. "I... I didn't know most of them. But Onyx was a good man. Garnet was always nice to me. Wattson, well. He wasn't exactly the talkative type, but he was a good ally. Leslie was lovely, until..." Until she got impaled by her District Partner. Hyde nods at her. Can hear the words left unsaid. "And Joy... Joy was everything. Kind, nice." How can she say this, when some are beginning to glare. "We all did some bad stuff. But I… I…" She doesn't know what to say. "I hope we can... move past this. I wish none of you any ill. I hope we can be friends." That's it, she passes the microphone back to Allie, who raises her hand in Allie's own. Applause is muted, rolling louder until it's near deafening and then slowing again.
The suit feels tighter now, and Amethyst is there to help Cat down when Allie finally releases her hand to let her go, her dress flicking around her ankles as she giggles. "You did perfectly, Cat! You didn't throw a hissy fit, and trust me we've had more than a few of those from what I hear. You didn't complain. Kept calm, carried on and had fun." Hyde's lurking nearby, walking past but stopping to chat to the big Nine man on the way. Fun? Fun's not what Catelyn would call it.
"And I didn't look too...?"
"Cat, darling, everyone looks like shit in this. Everyone would rather go through the Arena again than face the reading you just faced, the fact you had such poise and managed to accept it as a natural part of Victor life is stunning."
This may not be entirely sincere, but it's a nice enough sentiment.
"And nobody cares that Joy…?" Cat leaves the question unspoken, but Amethyst, no, Amy knows. Even if the words are getting more slurred, more... flippant.
"That she was a girl? Sweetheart, if that was an issue there would probably be about three people left in here. Our One girls are well versed in the art of being pretty and getting even people who don't like girls to like them. Joy was very good at what she did, you were better at surviving. The fact you had any feelings is... understandable. I wish she were standing here, I do, but I don't wish any ill on you. Girls, boys, who gives a shit? We're Victors, Catelyn. Playboys, playgirls, playthings, we're-"
Cat wants to pose another question on that statement when it's done, but Amber interrupts her, now moved on from her conversation. "Amethyst, darling. You're drunk. Go cool off for a bit. I'll take Cat 'round. One's honour." Amethyst isn't drunk, definitely not according to her, but blushes and nods and after a retort of 'what honour?' allows Amber to take over.
Amber, promptly guides Catelyn into a side booth and slips the curtain shut. It's darker, Cat's already slipping the curtain back slightly to let in more light. She doesn't like the dark, the things that creep in it.
"What happened?"
"What?"
A glass of wine is pressed through the curtain, Amber takes it and drinks deep. "With whoever didn't like you and Joy. I heard you, it happens every year. Catelyn, darling, nobody here has any problem with it. Ok? I know Hyde and Chrissie don't, and Angus... admittedly, he's an unknown quantity. But such is life."
Cat can't believe they're all so accepting, so unlike... "Mom and Dad. Didn't want to come round to mine. Didn't want their kids, my siblings, to come around. I hadn't seen them much, anyways, since I went to train, but... Cassie, Pancetta, Wensley? Haven't seen any of them in so long and I missed them. So I wanted, I wanted..."
"To go visit?" That's Amber, words pressed like a cool drink of water against Cat's lips.
"Yes. And they said… they said..."
"That you couldn't visit them."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Well." That's a long story. "They said - they said- " Stutters are forming. "I wasn't safe. That I... I'd better be suited finding a good man. That I was fine to call, but no visits." She's blushing, looking down, feeling embarrassed that she even needs to explain. She should be keeping it to herself, that's what Pa would have said. But he's not here.
Amber's around the booth, giving Cat a hug she sinks into. Not romantic, strictly platonic, the kind of platonic that leaves Catelyn in no doubt Amber's in her corner. "You know you're fine. We agree. I'm sure they'll accept it, it's just a lot." Amber's grip tightens, and then loosens. "My parents were fine with my playing around with the Two girl. We came from nothing, you understand? I got a scholarship to the Spire, Sable sponsored me. Said she'd take the costs if I didn't get a high paying job. I owe her, so much. But when I came back, dazzling and rich and a star? They loved it, supported me. Got me through. Didn't care. If your parents are a messy lot, then it's not your fault."
Cat doesn't respond, and Amber nods. "Besides, I can tell you for a fact most of our graduates would be fine with marrying a Victor instead of... other duties. Or just companionship, platonic or playful or permanent. We train for service, I'd be surprised if you don't have a One staff."
"I don't..."
"Go out of your room?" Not what she was thinking, but close enough.
Cat nods, tiny, imperceptible, and Amber laughs. "A girl after my own heart. They'll be the ones delivering food, handling washing and such. Could always try to get to know them. Get to know them. You need someone outside us. Trust me on this, I don't know where any of us would be without somebody to ground us."
Cat leaves the booth after a long conversation. Amber explained a lot, after all, and it's all good advice.
She's soon intercepted. "Oh hey, Catelyn!" and Cat has to turn, to see the smiling woman staring back at her. Jumps back, fumbling for something no longer at her hip.
"Hello...?" She glances at the Capitolite, the woman wearing a dress somehow covering and revealing everything at the same time. Save for that, though, the woman is relatively normal. Black hair tied back in a high ponytail.
"Lusitania, I'm a Gamemaker. Head Gamemaker, actually, newly promoted." How she got in Cat doesn't know, and she hadn't heard about a new Head Gamemaker at all. Albeit, well. She hasn't exactly kept up with anything.
"Are you a Victor as well?"
"No, but they said I could come to meet you. We have a lot to discuss."
Author's Note
With a month left to opening, quick reminder for y'all to get kids in! Still got time, and feel free to grab me with any issues ^^
Massive thanks to Ama, my #1 beta, who helped a hell of a lot with fine tuning this chapter 3