Purgatory of Contrition

Disclaimer: I don't own The Flash

Author's Note: This story wasn't something I planned on writing, but after (re)watching The Flash and seeing how goofy the show got after season 3, I decided what the hell, I'll write down my little idea and see where it goes. I know I have other stories I need to update, I do plan on getting to them eventually. Various mature content and triggers are throughout the story. Just understand that this is not a silly story. It can be quite dark at times. Warning you now.

Be warned, this chapter has a major character death!

Chapter themes are "The Gates of Disorder" by GUNSHIP and "Run" by Snow Patrol. The theme to the whole story is the song "Precious Hearts" by The Birthday Massacre.

Once Wally West was safe, Cisco returned to Star Labs, glaring angrily and as bravely as he could at the black-leathered villain. Zoom's lips twisted into a smug smile as Harrison Wells returned from his task of setting the device up, the instrument of his victory, his promise of a cure and his rise as the single fastest man in existence! "You know what you have to do, Barry," he told the scarlet speedster, his sinister smile lighting his eyes as he gestured toward the treadmill, insisting he get a move on.

Barry Allen glowered at Zoom bitterly, but he knew he had no choice. His eyes regarded the treadmill with pain, once a tool to help him attain higher speeds, now a means to his defeat. At least temporarily, until he figured out how to get him speed back and defeat him. He stepped onto the platform, listening for the click that told him the power was on.

"Barry..?" Joe began from the observation room, detesting that he had to go through with this. There were so many of them and one of Zoom, but deep down he knew Zoom could kill them all before they had a chance to realize it.

"It's alright, Joe," Barry insisted in a dull tone, catching a glimpse of the murderous gleam in Zoom's eyes. He turned away, feeling a shudder go through him, and activated the treadmill, hearing Harry turn the device on. Reluctantly, he began to run. He trained his eyes on the wall, heart racing, jaw clenched. As he ran, he felt pain in every fiber winding his muscles together, felt it in his veins, in the natural electrical pulses throughout his skeleton. He began to slow down, panting as the essence of speed began to drain out of him. He didn't hear what the others were saying, but he felt their eyes on him, and knew they were worried.

Too much. Pain and fatigue shot through him. Barry slowed to a stop, but the anguish in his body and the shock of his loss was far too much for him to handle. He found himself collapsing under his own weight, his lungs on fire, his muscles feeling like hundreds of hot irons were slicing them apart. He crashed off the treadmill, grunting as his wrist and back hit the solid metal painfully.

Iris rushed over to him and was at his side in an instant. "Barry, are you okay?" she asked, her voice laced with fear and worry.

"I'm okay," Barry murmured, trying his best to catch his breath. "I'm okay," he repeated, glancing toward her as reassuringly as he had the strength to. He wasn't sure if the second time was for her, or for himself. He took a moment to collect himself, noticing Harry take the device and prepare it.

Zoom took the initiative, his lust for power consuming him. He snatched the device from his hands and injected the power into his veins. His eyes shut with the deepest sense of relief, getting what he had craved for too long. "Ahh!" he cried out as power surged through him, lighting his body up like a Tesla coil. He laughed gleefully, his eyes glowing, his skin tingling, the pleasure from it giving him a high.

Barry looked away, demoralized and ashamed, wishing he could have been able to find a way to stop him, feeling worthless, now more than ever. There was a moment where static made the arms of his hair stand up. Suddenly he felt a hand grip his throat savagely, and cried out in pain as he was brutally slammed against the pipes along the wall. "Thank you Flash!" Zoom mocked with dark elation.

"Jay, stop!" Caitlin begged him, rushing over, terror seeping into her voice. "Please! If anything you ever said to me was true, or anything we ever shared was real then please, just let him go!" she implored him, trying with everything in her being to reach the side of him that might actually hear her. "Please! I know some piece of you did care for me, so if you have any humanity left, then please let him go!" Nearby, Harry lifted his rifle, intent on blowing his head clean off. At least trying his best.

Zoom considered it, he truly did. He stared at the younger man in his grip, fighting to stay conscious. He did care for Caitlin, in a strange and twisted way, perhaps not like a normal man would, but at the same time, he deeply cared about being the only fastest man alive, and wanted to conquer every Earth he could get his hands on. He knew if this pathetic excuse for a speedster lived, he'd serve as hope for them. Hope was something he wanted to destroy. "Nice try, but there is no humanity left in me," he decided, and threw Barry down, slamming his fist into him, over and over, the satisfaction from each wet crunch filling him.

"Jay no!" Caitlin cried in horror, watching the villain beat down her weakened and helpless friend.

"No-!" Iris screamed, struggling against Harry as she rushed over, desperately trying to stop the monster hurting her best friend. "Please! Please don't!" she screamed, overcome with the sharpest sense of helplessness she had ever felt in her life, watching her best friend and the one person she knew she truly loved get brutalized.

Zoom lifted the bloodied Barry Allen to his feet, watching him grasp feebly at the fist holding his throat again. He heard him struggling to speak and pulled him a little closer. "Hm? What's that?" he asked in twisted amusement, listening to him struggle to speak.

"D-Don't… please…" Barry rasped weakly, pawing at his arm, doing whatever he could to try to escape the vice-like grip, but knowing it was useless. He knew his life was over. No amount of begging would help.

"Hmm, no, I don't think so," Zoom grinned as he pulled him away, watching him suffer for a moment longer, savoring it.

Barry's eyes shut for a second, before they opened again to search the room. His eyes strayed to Iris again, wanting her to be the last thing he ever saw, her beauty, her life, her selfless need for justice, how she cared so deeply. His heart ached for her, mourning over how devastated she was, hoping beyond everything in the universe that she would be safe when he was gone. "If there is a god, please make sure she isn't alone! Make sure she's safe!" he prayed silently. "Iris… I'm so sorry…"

"Stop you maniac!" Joe cried, helpless horror devastating him. Not Barry! Not his son!

"P-Please..! Please-!" Iris pleaded desperately, knowing it wasn't going to help, but willing him to somehow change his mind. She collapsed then, not noticing when her dad caught her, when Harry let go, lifting his gun again, itching to fire the weapon. Iris' breath caught in her throat when Barry's gaze met hers, seeing the deep regret and longing. "Barry… no…" she cried mournfully, seeing the acceptance in his eyes.

Cisco paced, his own eyes stinging, wishing he had the self confidence to use his powers in a way that could help! He felt useless! Worthless! His best friend was going to die and he couldn't help him!

"Please stop!" Caitlin cried despairingly, tears smearing her make-up. "Don't do this! You really don't have to do this!"

"Oh, but I really, really do…" Zoom said, his tone as even and sinister as ever. "I can't risk him somehow getting his powers back. See, I know you're all clever enough to find a way, and I can't have that spoiling my plans. No, I will remove the risk once and for all. "Time to go, Flash," he announced, and grasped Barry's chest with his other hand. He began to vibrate him, so hard and so fast that the younger man began to make the sounds of a man whose very soul was being eviscerated, shrieking in agonizing pain.

Harry tried to shoot him, but without even releasing the scarlet speedster, Zoom knocked his down. He then began to increase the vibration, feeling the body in his grip rapidly crumble to pieces, listening to the melody of his friends and family crying out, hearing the younger man scream in excruciating torture. And then, with a fiery flash of super-heated plasma, Barry Allen was no more.

Zoom stopped, staring down at the pile of what used to be The Flash with a sense of peace and satisfaction. Not even a sliver of his suit was left.

"No… this isn't real. This isn't real!" Iris cried. "No no no… Barry, no!" she howled in anguish, her heart splintering into tiny withered pieces, unable to hold herself upright anymore, relying on her father to help her, her will to live dissolving rapidly at the sight of Barry's ashes. "Y-You monster..! You heartless bastard!" she screamed, covering her face as tormented sobs wracked her body. Joe pulled her close, struggling to keep his own sorrow from overtaking him.

Zoom ignored her, refusing the memories of his childhood to spoil his good mood, feeling better than he had felt in so very long, taking great pleasure in the pain and chaos. "Now," he said, turning to Cisco. "You will help me get rid of my pest problem. Build me a weapon to kill the wraiths after me."

Cisco's head shook side to side, unable to believe how worthless he was. First he couldn't stop his best friend's death, now he was being commanded to actually help his murderer? "No freaking way! Why should any of us help you?"

Zoom smiled, sick and twisted. "Because if you don't, I will force you to watch each and every one of them scream for mercy," he said evenly, gesturing to everyone in the room. "If you don't want any of them to meet a similar fate as The Flash, you will do as I say," he told him.

Cisco's eyes squeezed shut. "I… I'll try."

"You better do more than try, Mr. Ramon, or their suffering... well…" he smirked. "More of their suffering, will be because of you."

"I'll help you," Harry said to Cisco quietly, wanting to get rid of Zoom as fast as possible.

"Why thank you, Harry, I'm touched," Zoom mocked.

"I am not doing it for you," Harry shot back with a biting glare. He turned back to Cisco. "Come on," he said and they went to the lab to brainstorm. Meanwhile, Zoom stood there smugly, sneering derisively at the group, watching them huddle around each other, crying pathetically over the ashes of their beloved Flash.

It took a little while, but with Harry's help, they discovered that by modifying Hartley Rathaway's gauntlets, they could make it emit a frequency that could dissolve the wraiths. "Are we really going to help him..?" Cisco whispered to Harry.

"For now. We have to buy us some time."

"Until what? So he can just kill us later?"

"Yes. It will give us to time to figure out how to stop him."

"What's the point…" Cisco mumbled miserably, then gasped when Harry pulled on his shoulder and smacked him. He recoiled in pain and shock, staring at him in disbelief. "You slapped me!"

"You needed it," Harry shrugged unapologetically. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and help me with this. Listen, we are all in this together. We keep him satisfied for now, it gives us a chance to beat him later. There is... always a way," he insisted, though he didn't fully believe his own words. Right now, Cisco needed them.

"Fine…" Cisco grumbled sullenly, still rubbing his face.

When they returned, Zoom raised an expectant brow. They told him the plan, how Zoom would wait, open a few portals, and taunt the wraiths to find him, then they would activate the gauntlets. "If this doesn't work, rest assured, I can outrun them. I will find you all and peel your skin off," he told Cisco and Harry.

They all got into position, standing in the middle of the cortex. Zoom began opening portals with his speed, again and again, until they heard a disturbing shriek headed their way. The shriveled, blackened horror screamed like a writhing spawn of hell as it flew at Zoom with horrible purpose. "Do it!" he commanded, and watched Cisco hesitate for a second, before lifting the gauntlets up and firing at them. The gauntlets shot sonic waves out, blasting the horrors. In nearly an instant, they dissolved.

Zoom laughed at the victory. "Call me impressed!" he smiled, then turned to them, his intention of killing evident in his eyes.

Caitlin noticed the now familiar look in his eyes and stepped close to him. "Wait, please," she said, her tone as steady as she could make it. "It would… it would be far more fun for you, to keep us, to keep them alive, right? Use them to… to satisfy your need for power and… pain. You enjoy suffering and chaos, right? What fun would you have if… if you got rid of everyone suffering so quickly..?" she implored him.

Zoom tilted his head with interest, admiration and pleasure clear in his eyes, sicking her. "I love how you think," he said with a smile. "Very much like a villain. Bravo. I knew you had it in you…" he grinned darkly. He considered taking her with him, now more than ever itching to corrupt her, to keep her by his side, maybe use her every now and then, but right now she was far too wounded. It wouldn't be very fun manipulating her now. "I'll be seeing you later, Ms. Snow," he winked, before speeding away.

Caitlin collapsed onto a chair, shaking and crying, hating herself for saying the things she had, giving Zoom more reason to take interest in her. She felt filthy. She thought about Iris, how she could hear her grief, even from the cortex, knew she was still in the lab with Joe, mourning the loss of Barry. She shut her eyes, unable to console herself. This was all because she hadn't done everything she could!

"It's not your fault, Caitlin," Harry said in as soft a tone as he could manage, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"I… I-I could have tried harder… I could have reached him, I know I could have…" she whimpered.

"A monster like Zoom doesn't have a soul to reach anymore."

"You don't understand, I saw the humanity in him!"

"He was pretending. He was using you to get close to us, to make us feel hope. That's what he does!" he lectured, a part of him feeling guilty for the pain he caused this time, swimming in her eyes. Sighing with frustration, he lost his patience with their naivete. He went over to the bench on the far corner then and pulled the straps of a bag he had packed over his shoulder. He grabbed a rifle and began to leave.

"Where are you going?" Cisco asked, standing from his chair.

"To find my daughter! With Barry…" he trailed off. "With him gone, no one is safe. I need to get her and bring her here at the very least." Harry was furious. Barry had risked everything, and now his daughter was out there, in greater danger than ever before.

"You know how to find her?" Cisco asked in disbelief, but got no response. "Do you need help getting her..?" he offered, needing the distraction, and not feeling like Harry would be safe alone either.

Harry scoffed bitterly. "No. I can do it on my own. I don't need any help," he growled and left without further explanation.

Hours later, Jesse Wells paced in Star Labs, feeling even more trapped than ever before. Her father had showed up at her apartment, nearly scaring her roommate away. She had every intention of kicking him out… but then he told her that Barry had been killed. He told her that he wasn't leaving without her. She could kick and scream but he would stay put. She decided in the end to go, not wanting to put her roommate in danger, even if she wasn't familiar with her, she was innocent.

On the drive there, her dad had elaborated, explaining that they weren't safe anywhere, not even their own home back on Earth-2. She knew deep down that even if he had killed that man to get her back, it was done out of love and he was remorseful. She had questioned him about it, and he had relented, telling her he didn't deserve forgiveness, but that his heart couldn't let her be hurt or worse. After her mom died, something in him broke, and he swore on her grave that he would protect her. When Zoom took her, he snapped. He couldn't bear it.

Back at Star Labs, her dad had stopped her from storming away and then promised that he would do better, that he would become the kind of father that she could be proud of, if she promised not to run from him again. Moved by his sincere words, Jesse hugged him, tearfully agreeing to stay. So there she was, in the guest wing at Star labs, pacing, worried for everyone. She went into the cortex then, where everyone sat, their heads bowed. "If there's a way to stop him, I want to try and help," she said.

Harry smiled sadly. "We'll take all the help we can get."

Griffin Grey had watched the Star Labs van drive off before he had a chance to stop it. Anger fueled his need for vengeance, his need for answers, so he walked on, trying to follow it. When he eventually reached the giant run down facility, he grabbed a car and flung it right into the lobby. "Harrison Wells! Come out! Come out and face your creation!"

Inside, the team gasped and jumped at the sudden and intense crash. "What the devil?" Harry asked, watching Cisco jump on the cameras. They got a good look at the intruder, as well as how strong he was.

"Uh oh. Uh oh. I think he thinks you're the other Harrison Wells," Cisco muttered, tracking him as he tore into the lab. "You need to hide, man!"

Harry scowled. He wasn't the hiding type, but one look at his scared daughter, and he knew he had to do something. Before they could go anywhere however, the man rounded the corner, showing up at the Cortex. "Wells!" he growled and made a beeline toward him. "You're going to fix me or… or everyone in here dies!" he snapped, slamming his fist down on the desk and making it buckle violently, the sharp sound of metal and plastic breaking ringing in their ears.

Cisco groaned inwardly. First Zoom making threats like that, now this guy? Could they simply not catch a break?

Caitlin discreetly texted Joe West, knowing this wasn't going to go down well. "Meta in Cortex. After OG Wells. Bring Bkup."

"Listen, he isn't the Harrison Wells you're after!" Cisco tried to explain.

"I'm not stupid! I know faces. That is Wells!"

"No, I mean... have you ever heard of multiple universes?"

"What? The hell are you talking about? I just want a cure!" Griffin growled.

"To what?" Harry asked. "You're strength? Doesn't seem like something bad to have?"

Griffin scoffed. "It was fun at first. Only…" he pulled out a photo from his pocket. "This is me." The group stared in surprise. "I used to have a girlfriend. I saw her the other day. She didn't recognize me. I look old enough to be her father now! So… so fix me!"

Harry frowned in concern, knowing something like this most likely couldn't be fixed. In the end, he convinced him to let him work on it in his lab, taking a small sample of his blood. Caitlin and Jesse looked into it in the med lab as well. Caitlin was in contact with Joe, sending Harry a message to stall Griffin.

Meanwhile, Griffin hounded Harry, making angry remarks, not letting him concentrate. While Harry pretended to work, waiting for the signal from the team at the lab, he tried to explain that the Harry Wells he knew of looked exactly like him, but it was a disguise, a man named Eobard Thawne had taken over his place. He wasn't that Wells. Unfortunately, Griffin didn't care and pinched his rib, cracking it. Harry groaned in pain, glad his daughter wasn't there to see that.

It didn't take long for Griffin to figure out that Harry was being untruthful, and began to chase him when he dodged a blow. They ran through the lab. Harry quickly texted Caitlin to see the status. Basement, they had to go to the basement. No doubt the cops would have set up a trap down there, since there was an attached garage in those lower levels.

Fortunately Joe had called in the heavy artillery, SWAT. They had a van parked and ready to be taken to Iron Heights. They set up with shields and barricades, having been alerted of his unnatural strength.

Griffin followed close behind Harry, screaming at him that he needed to pay for all the lives he ruined. He smashed through the blocks, but they had several set up. Harry dodged the best he could, and the cops bravely volunteered to take blows to their shields, being knocked down in a swoop. They defended themselves until he released too much of his energy and finally knocked himself out.

The teams ran in and quickly cuffed him after making sure he was still alive. After he was secured, the police took him away. "We could have tried something here!" Caitlin complained, wondering if they would have come up with a solution.

"With all due respect, he will be getting exactly the treatments he needs in Iron Heights," Singh said, before nodding to them and driving off with the rest. They were all upset, but nothing else could be done.

Harry frowned, feeling the burden of his own mistakes on his shoulders. He had a lot of things he needed to do on his Earth, and wanted him and his daughter to go home, but he also knew they couldn't right now. He wasn't even sure when they'd be able to. The future was extremely uncertain for everyone, and he understood they needed his help. He just hoped a solution to their current threat could be found soon.

Several days after Griffin was arrested, despite Team Flash's efforts, crime was beginning to get worse. They had tried to set up a hologram, using Harry as a stand in, to trick criminals into thinking The Flash was back, but it failed after Zoom entered Star Labs and broke their equipment. The masked terror grinned at their shock and disappointment. "Sorry, but I can't let people think there's any hope, now can I?" he taunted, winking at Caitlin. "I'll be seeing you real soon," he promised, before leaving again.

Joe heard about the encounter at the lab and rubbed his head with anxiety. There was nowhere save for any of them. Gathering his files, he started to head out, wanting to check on Iris, but paused when he saw Wally walk in. Of course his son wanted to see The Flash, of course he wanted to thank him. Joe took him somewhere private… Barry's old lab. He sat and listened, his heart heavy with each of his words.

"He gave up his powers to save me, a guy he didn't even know," Wally was saying, wondering what happened to him. He had run away shortly after being returned, so he wasn't sure if he was okay. He hoped so. "No one's ever done anything like that for me before. I need to tell him how much that means to me."

Joe was overcome with unbearable sadness. Wally didn't know because they were trying to spare him. He had wondered where Barry was, and he had been told that he was away. Now it was too much to contain anymore. He needed to know. He sighed and leaned against the desk, rubbing his eyes. "Listen, Wally… there's something important we need to talk about. It's… it's about The Flash."

"What is it? Is he okay? I… I know he hasn't been seen around but, but-"

"-Can we talk about it at home?" Joe interrupted. "I'll be there soon. I just need to finish up some thing here first. Please. Meet me at home?"

Wally shifted uneasily. "Sure, dad…" he murmured, then awkwardly turned and left.

Joe took several moments to calm down, his eyes straying around the lab, seeing Barry's unfinished work on his desk, seeing the board with his mysteries, his broken mug in the trash. He tried to contain his sorrow, especially around people who needed him to be strong, but some days it was too much to bear. Today was one of those days. Joe pressed his hands to his face, leaning back against the chair. "God!" he cried, his voice muffled, unable to handle the pain.

Back at the West house, Wally looked up, almost an hour later, watching his dad walk in, looking like the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders. "Dad, what… what's going on..?" he asked, concern for him and for the Flash overwhelming him.

Joe didn't even bother taking his things out of his pockets this time. He slumped down on the couch and rubbed his face. "Wally, sit down please…" he mumbled, watching his son hesitate for a moment, before sinking back onto the cushion. "This isn't going to be easy to explain, so I… I'll just be blunt. The Flash… he… was killed, by Zoom… after he…" he trailed off tearfully.

Wally shook his head, his heart shattering at the news. "No, that's… that not possible..!" he said, not able to believe what he was being told. If this was true, then it meant he had a hand in the Flash's death! No, it couldn't be true. "I… I saw him on the news!"

"It was a hologram," Joe cried, wiping his cheeks, watching the younger man shake his head again in denial. "I'm… I'm sorry, son, but it… it gets worse…"

"Worse?" Wally asked, his tone shaking. How can it possibly get worse? He got his savior killed!

"God, how am I going to…" Joe rubbed his head, pushing down his heartache, knowing he had to do this. "I knew who the Flash was, and… so did you."

"Who was he? Who was he, dad?" Wally asked fearfully, but this time his father remained silent, anguish deep in his eyes. He watched him glance up. One might think he was looking to the heavens for answers… but somehow, he knew. Where was Barry? He had disappeared when The Flash had disappeared. His dad must have seen him connect the clues, because his eyes watered.

"Wally, I…" Joe trailed off, his words getting lodged in his throat.

Wally stared disbelief. "B-Barry..?" he ventured quietly, and felt himself suffocating when his father nodded, unable to look him in the eye anymore. "No," he mumbled. "No," he stood then. He had just been getting to know his foster brother, he liked him, he was a really cool dude, someone any guy would be lucky to have as a brother, now he was..? "I need to go."

Joe stood, fear and anxiety filling him as Wally hastily went for the door. "Wally, stop! Don't go out there! You're in danger! Zoom-"

"-I just need to think! Besides, Zoom can't be stopped anyway. I'm sorry, dad, I… I won't be far, but I… I can't…" he trailed off, turning his head to hide his tears. He had lost both his hero and his brother! Not able to hand it, he left before Joe could stop him.

As the weeks went on, Zoom seemed to be allowing them to think they were safe, at least for now. In the meantime, he plunged the city into chaos and darkness, showing force by killing random people. He caused mayhem and forced the police to bend to his will, to stand down. He began to recruit meta humans to help him, beginning to plan his attack on other cities. He was doing everything Harry Wells warned them he would do. That Earth didn't have The Flash anymore, and the hologram was no more… hope was lost.

Team Flash refused to disband, they couldn't give up though, forever struggling to come up with ways to stop Zoom, even if deep down they knew that without The Flash, it was unfeasible. They even feared calling in allies, afraid that Zoom's incredible speed would overcome them. So they stayed silent, working as quietly as possible, trying to find their way without Barry, struggling but carrying on. They had to try, if nothing else than for his memory.

Zoom continued to taunt them, playing into what Caitlin suggested, toying with them, reminding them that they were powerless to stop him, that he had killed their only chance at hope. It was delightful to him. At the same time, he teased Caitlin Snow, loving how she squirmed under his gaze. Like a few times already, he appeared before her, right in Star Labs, in her own med lab where she had tried to find a cure for him.

"Why won't you leave me alone..?" Caitlin asked fearfully, watching him pace, hating how handsome he was under his cowl.

"Because I don't want to be alone, and when I rule I want someone I can trust by my side," he explained, pushing his memories of the orphanage away.

"I'm never going to be with you. We're trying to stop you, I am trying to stop you."

Zoom gave her a disturbed smile. "Don't worry, Caitlin. When they time comes, you won't have a choice," he explained, his tone unnerving as he kept walking around her. "You haven't met her yet… but on Earth-2, there's a villain by the name of Killer Frost. She's a nasty one, killed plenty of people. And do you know what? She's you."

Caitlin shook her head in denial, her expression pained. "No…"

Zoom smiled again. "Yes," he grinned. "You think that you're not like me, but I've seen the darkness inside you, Caitlin, just like it's inside Killer Frost. All you have to do is unlock it…" he said, as though sharing a secret with her. Caitlin shook her head again, her eyes shutting. When she opened her eyes again, he was mercifully gone. Caitlin sat on her seat again, shaking from the encounter.

Back home from work that night, Joe wearily unloaded his pockets, his eyes barely able to stay open. All he wanted to do was dress down, crack open a beer, and stare mindlessly into his tv. Before he could relax though, he needed to check on his daughter. She had been staying away from her little apartment a lot, ever since… Barry's murder. His heart clenched at the very thought, but forced it away, needing to be strong. Her room was always available to her, and she seemed to be permanently there. He had made sure to keep her apartment in good working condition, wanting her to have a clean place to go for privacy once things became a bit more bearable.

Going up the stairs, he paused by her door, his heart ached at the sight that greeted him. She was curled up on her bed, wearing one of Barry's old sweaters, no doubt trying to be closer to him however way she could be. He watched her sleeping restlessly, tears staining her cheeks. She had lost some weight, barely eating, barely reacting to anyone. He knew how devastated she was, feeling it in his heart as well. He walked in and picked up her phone. He frowned sadly at all the unanswered calls from her friends, and from work. He was relieved that they had given her leave of bereavement.

Joe brushed her hair away from her forehead, his heart aching at the sorrowful whimper she let out. Unable to take it, he turned and left. He got as comfortable as he would allow, and went back down to sit on his couch, rubbing his head in thought. They hadn't had a funeral yet. They couldn't afford it yet, and couldn't bring themselves to have one yet either, all of them still in disbelief. Zoom wouldn't make it easy for them to honor his… passing, either.

They hadn't even had the heart to tell Henry Allen yet. Joe had told him something terrible was happening and to stay where he was, safe, until they figured it out. Henry, of course, asked about Barry, understandably worried, and… Joe had to lie. He hated himself for doing so, but he had to make sure he was safe. Joe covered his eyes with his hand, but it didn't stop his own tears from falling, it didn't stop the agony he felt over the death of his foster son, or of how devastated he knew Henry would be when he did eventually discover his fate.

The next morning Joe stopped by her room again after getting dressed for work. He found that she was awake, though that was a matter of opinion. Her eyes were open, but she was staring blindly into the room, her eyes all but dead. He paused, his heart aching for her grief, for their grief. "Iris?" he murmured gently. When she didn't respond, he want over and caressed her head, but it still didn't make her react to him. He sighed in defeat and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "I'll be back later. Please make sure you eat something? For me?" he begged her, before reluctantly leaving.

On the drive to work through the city, feeling like his job was a waste of time now, crime having hiked up exponentially, he saw signs of 'The Flash is Dead' graffiti everywhere and felt rage at how callous people could be. When he got to his desk, he caught a segment on the news, hearing about more crime, crime he and every other cop couldn't do anything about. His chin fell onto his palm, staring at the piles of paperwork on his desk, his elbow barely holding him up, his eyes dull. How was he supposed to do this?

After her dad left, Iris stirred from her deep depression, forcing herself to sit up, knowing he would be sad if she didn't eat today. She sighed deeply and picked up her phone, cringing at what she saw. All the missed messages. She wanted to tell them she was okay, but she knew that was a lie. Barry's… it had affected her far stronger than she ever thought possible. Needing a distraction before she fell into another ocean of sorrow, she picked up her laptop, trying to find something in the entertainment section. However, everywhere she looked, she saw news of Zoom terrorizing the city.

Her heart broke all over again, seeing the fear everywhere, people begging for The Flash to save them, knowing he never would again. Something in her snapped then, her hatred for Zoom overcoming the smothering gloom within her. She decided then that she couldn't just let him defeat her like this. She might not have powers, but she could do something, anything! She needed to do something, anything. And so, she pulled herself out of bed and left her room.

Iris stopped by her brother's… Barry's old room, and considers sitting and talking to him, but she knew he was processing the loss in his own way, so she went by it. She gathered a few things and took a quick shower. After the shower, she felt marginally better, like she was washing away some of her defeated old self. Maybe she could do something, maybe even just help brainstorm, that would be something, right? She grabbed one of her dad's protein bars on her way out. First thing was first, she needed to make an appearance at work, at least to show them that she was still alive.

When she got there, she was greeted by her coworkers. She cringed inwardly at all the heart felt well wishes, but chose to ignore all that, telling them she just wanted to get back to work. As the day went on though, she knew her heart wasn't really in it, but she was relieved that people were give her space. She saw the news reports of rampant terror spreading through the city then, people asking where the police were, where was justice, who would save them?

That night, Iris went to the couch, intending on waiting for her dad, wanting to talk to him, to ask him to guide her, feeling lost. She wanted to help, but how? As she sat there, her mind took her to Christmas, remembering when Barry got her the replica of her mother's ring. Her eyes teared up and she struggled to keep the thought as a happy one, not taint it with her melancholy. She took several breaths, but that only seemed to make the tears worse. No, not again.

This felt like a horrible nightmare and she was having trouble waking up. Why couldn't she wake up? She wanted to wake up! She wanted to get dressed, find Barry, and tell him she wanted to be with him, that she wanted to go on a date, to kiss him, to be held by him, to have a future together, like she had seen on the news paper clipping, like she had learned about from Earth-2! But she couldn't. She would never be able to. There was no future, because he was gone. When would the pain stop?

When Joe went home that night, he was more than a little surprised to see his daughter up and about. His heart was crushed however, by how she hid her face in the cushions, desperately trying to stop herself from falling apart all over again, a picture of the three of them on her lap. He immediately went to her, sitting by her side, and readily opened his arms to her when she turned and pressed herself against him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly. He remains silent, simply holding her. He knew very well that she was in love with Barry, even if she had denied it and never let herself feel it. Now she couldn't. His hold on her tightened, wishing he could take her pain away.

Zoom wanted them all to suffer… well, he won.