Chapter Two

Effy and Lance met the final person out of their trio in front of college. Effy greeted Pandora before sitting on the bench, Lance smiling at the blonde also sitting down. The blonde was listening to a conversation that the hair and beauty students where having.

"Bonkers! What's surf and turf, guys?" Pandora asked her best friends, Lance just smiled at her.

"Sex." Effy replied while smiling.

"Wow! We'll have a whizzer time at this college, Eff! I'm definitely going to have surf and turf, ASAP. Mum says boys only want one thing so my plan is give it to them, lots of times. That way I'll get good at it, be really popular and maybe my toes will stop throbbing, Lan." Pandora replied.

"Or you get called names 24/7 and become an alcoholic and die by the age of 25." Lance grinned again, Pandora's smile dropping.

"Right, you hate her." Effy mumbled, looking off into the group of beauty students.

"Who do we hate, Eff?" Pandora asked.

"I'll let you know." Effy said.

"Cool." Pandora said.

Effy told her before standing up and pulling her best friend off the bench.

"Right, let's get this party started." Effy replied.

"Do you want a lollipop?" Pandora asked.

"I'll take one." Lance answered.

"No." Effy replied.

Lance took a strawberry lolly from the packet before unwrapping it and popping it in her mouth as the teens walked into the gym. Pandora, Effy and Lance all sat in the front row in that order as people started filing into the room. Lance wasn't paying attention to Pandora's rambling and surveyed the room.

"So he does go here." Lance mumbled as the guy in the red jumper from earlier walked in with his two mates. She sent him a flirty wink as he caught her eye before turning back into Pandora and Effy's conversation. Suddenly a loud whistle played and Lance turned to the front with an eye roll.

"Attention! Pay attention, look you!" Doug, who Lance remembers from the encounters she had in the past with her old friend group, shouted.

"Thank you, Doug. Welcome to Roundview College. We are a designated four star educational establishment under the National We're All In It Together Initiative leading to Ultimate Improvement status. Anyone who screws that up will be officially burnt at the stake." The head director lady started.

"And expelled." Doug added.

"Yes, and expelled. God help you all, you're gonna get some qualifications. Any questions?" The head director lady asked. Suddenly a fart echoed around the hall making everyone, except Effy, laugh. "Thank you. Now before I turn you over to your form tutors, I'd like to tell you something about the way in which we organise our…" Another, longer fart got everyone giggling again.

"Right! Very funny. This is a further education college, not a primary school." The head director lady said, as she got cut off again as an even louder fart had everyone laughing yet again.

"Stop it! Stop it! I'll cut your balls off, you cheeky little turds!" The lady shouted. "You hear me?"

"I do apologise. I think I might be at fault. Too much rhubarb on my Ready Brek. Havoc." Doug explained sending everyone into fits of giggles. The head director took a deep breath before turning back to the teens.

"Right." The lady replied.

"You are looking a little flushed. Do you want me to…?" Doug asked.

"No! No. Just…" The lady replied.

She stopped speaking.

"Last year, we had some intolerable incidents" The lady spoke looking towards Sandi who was trying to figure out what incident she was on about (it was either the one where she went to all of Chris' lessons with no one noticing until the end of the college day or when they had a bonfire outside the school and Anwar dumped alcohol on it and it got out of control) "so, I want to make this easy for you. The following will result in instant expulsion smoking on the premises, setting fire to the premises, consumption of alcohol on the premises, consumption of drսg on the premises, consumption of pornography on the premises, teacher abuse, glue abuse, self abuse, sеxual intercourse with any other student, teacher or animal or combination of the above including oral sеx and/or use of sеx toys, on the premises."

After all that she ended up introducing their new head of communications who, to say the least, looked absolutely terrified of the group of 16-17 year olds.

"That was nasty…" The professor said.

"Miss Reedy, our new head of communications. Miss Reedy is joining us from... Where are you joining us from?" The lady asked.

"Um, I had some time off. Seven years. It was stress-related but feeling a bit better now, hopefully…" Miss Reedy said.

"Oh, Christ." The lady said.

"Form BD1, say your name, please, when I... Put your hands up, please, when I call your, erm, names. Miss Reddy then started listing off a bunch of names including two out of three of the teens that she had seen at the burger van.

"Lance Porter." The girl raised her hand, lollipop stick still in her mouth, missing the boy from before sending her finger guns. Miss Reddy continued reading names, Effy and the final out of the three boys also being called out. Also a girl with the same name as a supermodel. Sandi looked around and found the girl to be actually really pretty.

Lance then turned back around and rested her head on Effy's shoulder.

"Excuse me." Naomi called out, catching the raven haired girl's attention.

"Yes? What is it?" The lady asked.

"The boy next to me is acting inappropriately." Naomi said.

"How?" The lady asked.

"He wants to show me his tattoo. And not in a nice way." Naomi said.

"Right. You!" Big boss lady signaled James who was laughing.

"Me?" James asked.

"Yes! Why don't you show us all your pathetic tattoo. We can wonder at its magnificent stupidity." Big boss lady said.

"I don't think you'd like it." James said, Lance watching him carefully.

"Right lad! Smartish! You've had an instruction. Show her the tattoo, now!" Doug spoke through the megaphone.

"All right." Cook said, then stood up and undid the zip to his trousers before pulling both them and his boxers down his legs. For what felt like the fiftieth time that day, the hall burst into laughter. Lance even adds in a little wolf whistle for extra measures.

Tattooed directly around his cock was a woman's head and hands on his arse. And to make matters worse, he started humping the air.

Not even an hour in college and already shocked her.