Gravity Falls was a town that was unquestionably weird. It was home to certain creatures that no normal mind could even conceive on its own as an odd thought.
Gnomes or zombies? Maybe. Abominable Bro-Man? Probably not.
Vampires were likely a more guessable concept, however. And after every sunset and during every moonrise, they would come out from the darker depths of the day to lurk around the forests at night, feasting upon hitchhikers and other passing humans if given the opportunity.
As the sun had begun setting on another summer Monday, it likely wasn't too much longer before they would rise out from hiding yet again. And from the depths of a nearby forest cavern, three figures appeared to be emerging from the dark at that very moment.
"Well, that just about puts an end to that," Dipper said, holding a duffle bag full of blood-stained stakes as he cheerily walked out of the cave alongside Mabel and Wendy.
"Yep. Now this town no longer has a vampire problem," Wendy nodded, casually holding a bloody axe over her shoulder.
"Too bad in a way. That also means no more hot vampires to expect," Mabel said somewhat glumly.
"I think you've seen way too many of those teenage vampire movies, Mabel," Dipper said bluntly.
"Yeah, as you saw today, not all vampires are pale, blood-sucking hunks," Wendy added.
"Maybe not to you they weren't."
"Alright, this conversation is already starting to lose me," Dipper said disgustedly.
"Well, regardless, that was fun," Wendy said before lovingly nudging both of the twins. "It's nice to go on a badass adventure with my favorite twins that doesn't end with me getting mentally scarred for once."
"Yeah, you kicked major vampire butt today, Wendy!" Mabel praised. "That Count didn't even see it coming!"
Wendy chuckled. "Dude, if you're a bad guy and you start monologuing, you're pretty much giving away a free shot at you."
"Well, you couldn't have timed a stake throw more perfectly," Dipper said.
"Hey, don't forget that you made the stake last second," Wendy reminded, nudging him in the arm. "Seriously, we would've been done for back there if it wasn't for you. Honestly, as a lumberjack's daughter, I'm impressed with your speed."
"Ford taught me well, I guess," Dipper said with a smile as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Give yourself a little credit, dude. That final toss was legit!" she acclaimed before raising her hand. "Up here!"
Dipper chuckled at her praise but accepted it as he high-fived her with his available hand. As his palm pressed against hers, he looked up into her eyes and couldn't help but gaze a bit. The view of her long hair lightly blowing in the wind breeze as her hand was held out in front of him. Her pale-skinned smile reflected her typical laid-back demeanor as he stared into her green eyes.
The sight alone began to invoke a bunch of familiar feelings in him that he had thought he had rid himself of long ago.
However, the moment was beginning to become slightly awkward for Wendy as it dragged on. "Uh, you can pull your hand back now, dude," she told him with an uncomfortable chuckle.
Dipper's face reddened as he frantically retracted his hand. "Oh, right, right. Sorry. Just got distracted. There was a... bird behind you."
Wendy had no comment, but regardless, Mabel hopped right between the two excitedly, cutting the moment off anyway. "Man, I'm still so fired up after all of that! We shouldn't stop there! We should go out and celebrate! I'm feeling something... cheesy or... tomato-y…"
"Sure, maybe we could go into town and snag some pizza to take back to the Shack," Wendy suggested.
Mabel gasped. "Pizza? You read my mind, girl!"
As the two discussed their pizza plans, Dipper was too busy glancing over at Wendy. It took a moment for him to realize that his palms were beginning to feel somewhat moist. Looking down at his hands, his eyes widened. There he was, staring at his shaking, sweaty palms as a result of internal nervousness that he had only just realized. Glancing back and forth between his hands and Wendy, his heart sank.
"Uh oh…"
"Hey, Dipper," Wendy prompted, instantly pulling his attention. "You coming?"
"Wait... what?"
"Mabel and I are gonna go get some victory pizza," she gestured. "You wanna come with?"
"I, uh... I'd... I'd love to... but, I can't..."
"Whaaaat?" Mabel questioned, raising an eyebrow.
Dipper began to feel his legs start shaking under his jeans, to which he had decided at that point that he felt too bad for himself to bear standing around the two for much longer.
"I just... I can't. I can't do it. Not again. I can't…" he said guiltily as he began walking away from them. "I don't feel so well. You guys can just go without me. I'll be at the Shack."
Without another word, Dipper began a walk of shame in the direction back to the Mystery Shack, leaving the two girls on their own.
"Do you want me to at least bring you back something?" Mabel called out to him but to no response. "Yes? No? ...I'll just get ya some breadsticks!"
Wendy turned to Mabel with a look of concern. "What was that about?"
"I dunno," she shrugged. "Maybe he's on a diet now. But why? He's already skinny enough as it is. Any skinnier, and we'll have to call him a Skinny Dipper. Haha, am I right?"
Mabel's joke went right through Wendy's ears as she was too busy thinking about Dipper's behavior. "Look, not that I want to talk to you about this, but I gotta ask- is he still into me?"
"Who? Dipper?" Mabel considered. "PFFFT! Of course he isn't! Trust me, he's long over you! Dipper's a pro at moving on!"
"Really? Because just a minute ago, he was giving me the same weird look that he used to give me when he was twelve."
"Well, I... uh…" Mabel began before giving the idea much more thought. "I don't know. Dipper's a very confused guy these days. I mean, it's possible."
"Ugh… That's what I was afraid of," Wendy said with a facepalm.
"What do you mean?"
"Look, don't get me wrong, I love Dipper, but more like a brother. Not like that," she began. "I mean, I met him when I was fifteen and he was twelve. Now, I'm nineteen and he's sixteen. Sure, he's grown up a bit, but even now, I can't look at him and not remember the Dipper I met four summers ago. Same with you. You've grown up, but I still see the same hyperactive twelve-year-old kid, just minus the braces."
"Those aspects never tend to fade," Mabel boasted.
"It's just, as flattering as it is, I can't see myself actually dating him. I cherish the friendship we have too much to ruin it like that. I thought I had already settled that when I first turned him down. But if he still hasn't moved on or if he somehow fell for me again, then I don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, I'm moving out of town in just a few days. The last thing I want to do is say something that leaves him all depressed when I'm gone."
"Yikes. The problems that come with being attractive, huh?"
Wendy chuckled. "I don't know, man. I mean, c'mon, surely he's been looking at others in the past four years back where you guys live. He couldn't have just been set on me this whole time, right?"
"Oh heck yeah!" Mabel nodded. "Dipper's been making moves with tons of different girls since high school began!"
"Really? That's awesome," Wendy said, somewhat impressed. "Several girlfriends? What a player."
"Well, several rejections."
"Huh? I thought you said he was making moves?"
"Yeah, he was. Doesn't mean any of those girls liked his moves."
"So you're saying he's never had a single girlfriend?"
Mabel thought for a moment. "Well, there was this one time... wait, no. Never mind. Nope, he hasn't."
"Has he ever asked anyone on a date?"
"Actually, he has! For our Sophomore Homecoming, he took out class hottie, Angie Michaels!" Mabel recalled. "But then she left him alone at the dance after her ex-boyfriend pulled his pants down in the middle of pictures."
"Geez. Seriously? That... sucks."
"Yeah, Dipper has never had it easy in the romance department," Mabel admitted as she held her brother in mind with sympathetic thoughts. "I don't know how but he always seems to find himself going for the wrong people."
"Well, maybe he just needs a little bit of help finding the right people."
"Like matchmaking? Well, of course I've offered, but Dipper doesn't want me to. Says he doesn't want me 'interfering with his love life'."
"Then don't interfere?" Wendy said, questioning Mabel's definition of matchmaking. "Matchmaking doesn't mean meddling with one's love life. It just means lighting up the way a bit for those who might need it. Like if you know someone who likes him or someone he might like, give him a little nudge toward that someone. Then just let the chemistry happen on its own. Look at you and Ryland. I'm sure you remember how hard you were trying with him before."
Mabel awkwardly glanced to the side upon this reminder. "Yeah, I try not to think too much about it..."
"But then you just let things go and let the rest happen naturally. Now look where you two are! Dipper just needs the same. It doesn't need to be love at first sight. It just needs to be something real."
"Something real, huh?" Mabel pondered to herself.
Wendy looked down at her watch. "Yikes, I gotta bounce."
"Aww, but what about victory pizza?"
"I still got packing to do, girl," Wendy said as she walked over to a tree where she had kept her bike placed during their earlier adventure. "But don't worry. We'll definitely grab pizza at least one more time before I go."
Mabel was saddened by not going for pizza at that moment, but she accepted the rain check. "Okay…"
"But hey, just keep what I said in mind if you do try to help Dipper," Wendy said as she hopped on her bike. "He's a great guy, and he deserves someone just as great."
Mabel nodded at her words and waved in her direction as she rode off through the woods.
"Wendy's right. It's about time Dipper had a win at love. And with that, it's time for the matchmaker…"
She dug a hand down the neck hole of her sweater before pulling out her old pair of heart glasses. She put them on and smiled confidently.
"...to come out of retirement!"
SLAM!
Mabel dramatically kicked the front door to the Shack straight open. Shutting it right behind her, she zoomed straight for the stairs. Passing the living room, she caught Dipper's attention as he sat in the chair in front of the TV.
"Oh, there you are Mab-"
"HI DIPPER I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING AND I NEED THE ROOM TO MYSELF SO PLEASE DON'T COME UPSTAIRS!" she called out rapidly as she ran straight upstairs to the attic and into their room.
SLAM!
Hearing her slam the door to their room upstairs, Dipper was left staring off blankly in his seat for a moment.
"But did you bring back any breadsticks?" he called back toward the staircase.
Up in the attic, Mabel pulled out a box hidden in the closet. She laid it out on a table, opening it up to set up her old diorama of Gravity Falls. She then pulled out a little bag from the box, dumping the contents out onto the model. Laid out all over the diorama were a bunch of wooden figures, each based on various Gravity Falls residents. It was clearly outdated, as they were still the same models made four years prior.
"Haven't used these in years. Should probably make new ones at some point," Mabel said as she looked at the old figures. "But they'll have to do for now. So let's see… who's the perfect match for Dipper?"
She sorted through the various figures that she had laid out, examining each individual one to consider.
"Candy? Nah, we all know how that went. Grenda? No, she still has Marius. And last I heard spilled-punch-on-dress girl still wants to punch him in the face. Hmm… would that be a maybe?"
Crossing off obviously overage, underage, and other unsuitable choices for Dipper, Mabel found herself quickly running out of options as she continued going through every known resident in town.
"Darn! This is harder than I thought it would be," Mabel said as she took her glasses off. "What did I expect? It's Dipper! Who might be a good match for a nerd?"
She thought for a moment before standing back over the box. As soon as she looked into the box, however, she spotted a plain beige folder lying flat at the bottom.
"Huh, I never keep plain folders like that around," she said as she picked it up. As she opened it, she read through a set of photocopied papers set inside. "Wait... I remember this…"
Upon laying her eyes on a certain page, her eyes shot wide open as she let out a loud gasp.
"Of course!" she said before smiling as wide as can be. "Oh my god! Yes! How could I forget? It's perfect!"
She grabbed her list of girls and quickly scribbled down another name before circling it in marker.
"You were ahead of your time, Past Mabel," she said as she placed Dipper's twelve-year-old figure right next to the figure reminiscent of a young, sassy blonde girl. "Now it's time for your most important mission yet…"
The next morning came and after a good sleep-in and brief breakfast, Dipper once again sat in front of the TV in the living room. He mindlessly flipped through channels, looking for one to interest him and take his mind off what was looking like a lifeless Tuesday with nothing better to do.
Flip.
"Girl, why you ackin' so NOT cray-cray?"
Flip.
"As you can see, it functions just as well a toenail clipper as it does a blender!"
Flip.
"IT WORKS FOR CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS!"
Flip.
"This just in," Shandra Jimenez's voice was heard as Dipper flipped to the news channel. "I'm here at Lake Gravity Falls where we've gotten recent reports of abnormal activity coming from the water, such as unusual rippling, splashing, and ground rumbling."
At that very moment, the ground began rumbling where the broadcast seemed to be taking place by the lake. It was at that point where Dipper's interest was finally piqued after the last half hour of channel flipping.
"Woah!" Shandra shouted in reaction to the rumbling. She then glanced over at the lake itself and began pointing for the camera. "There! Zoom on that! As you can see, there is definitely a lot of disfigured rippling on the surface of the water. Whatever is causing this has yet to be determined."
Dipper looked on at the ripples being displayed on TV, which definitely looked odd from his perspective. Rather than circular ripples, they were all misshaped and irregular, nothing like he had seen before. One thing he thought was that the odd ripples could easily be a result of the ongoing rumbling, but then that would lead to the question of what was causing the rumbling itself.
He then looked to the side and caught Ford passing by, making his way from the kitchen toward the gift shop door across the living room.
"Morning, Dipper," he greeted with a nod.
"Hey Great Uncle Ford, could you come here for a second?" Dipper asked.
"What is it?" he asked as he redirected toward him.
Dipper gestured toward the TV. "Check this out."
Ford turned his attention to the news broadcast as requested. He studied the feed for a moment and began thinking to himself. Dipper looked up at him, watching his facial expressions change as he stroked his chin curiously.
"Interesting. This is live?"
"Yeah," Dipper nodded. "Any idea what it is?"
"Well, it's nothing like I've ever seen before, that's for sure," Ford admitted. "Abnormal lake rippling, ground rumbling... nope, doesn't ring a bell. That's new to me."
"You think we should go and check it out?"
"Well, I actually have work to do here regarding Stanley, as you already know."
"Oh, right," Dipper said somewhat dejectedly.
"But I say you're more than free to investigate this one on your own," Ford happily insisted. "In fact, I have some equipment in the basement that I used to use when investigating lake anomalies. A sonic motion tracker- it tracks, well, sonic motion. It works underwater though and it'll record everything for audio playback. You can listen around the lake for anything interesting. I can lend it to you if you need it."
Dipper nodded. "Sure, that'd be great!"
"I'll go fetch it out for you then," Ford said as he made his way into the gift shop toward the vending machine.
"And I guess I'll just get ready to head out," Dipper said as he leaped from his chair and headed upstairs, excited by the opportunity to uncover a potential new anomaly on his own.
Opening the door to the attic, he immediately shot straight for his backpack, emptying it of unneeded supplies and items that he had brought along from the vampire adventure to make room for supplies for his lake trip. Glancing over his shoulder, he spotted Mabel sitting on her bed, writing something down on a piece of paper eagerly. He noticed she had been writing on the same piece of paper he had seen her working on since waking up that morning, which he felt was somewhat odd, but mentally dismissed it.
"Hey, Mabel," he greeted as he packed. "There's some weird stuff going on in Lake Gravity Falls, and I'm going to go down there to check it out. Ford's lending some equipment to use. You wanna come?"
"No thanks, bro-bro," she declined before giggling profusely. "I already got my own plans."
"Alright, suit yourself. Thought you'd want to come along to try to summon dolphins with your whale noises or something."
"Heeheeheeheeheehee..."
Mabel's sudden giggle burst attracted an odd look from Dipper, who knew it wasn't in response to his cheap shot at her.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, nothing," Mabel dismissed, waving her hand away at him. "Don't worry about it."
"You've been giggling like that since we woke up this morning," Dipper reminded her, starting to grow suspicious.
"I'm just in a giggly mood today. What can I say?"
"No, you're up to something, aren't you?" Dipper questioned. "You always get giggly when you're planning something behind my back. What are you doing?"
"Relax, bro-bro! I'm not doing anything bad, I promise," she assured, failing to suppress her guilty smile.
He crossed his arms. "Why don't I believe you?"
"Because you don't know how to trust your own sister."
"Well, sometimes my sister gives me very little reason to trust her," he shot back. "Now spill! What are you plotting?"
"I'm just giving you a little help, broseph," she confessed. "After how you were in front of Wendy last night, I figured I'd come to save you from getting your heart shattered again."
Dipper's eyes nervously widened. "Wait, what? H-how was I in front of Wendy?"
"Duh, you were becoming all ga-ga for her again."
"What?! No, I wasn't!" Dipper shouted, face reddening.
"Mhm."
"I wasn't! I-I just got caught up in a moment, alright? I am NOT falling for Wendy again!"
"Your mouth says one thing, but your heart says another!"
"I'm over Wendy, Mabel! Over her!"
"Not yet, but you will be."
Dipper raised an eyebrow. "W-what are you talking about?"
"Look, bro, Wendy's not gonna be around for much longer," Mabel began, putting her pen down and standing up in front of him. "There's an entire town full of other girls you could be going for, yet after four years, you're still giving Wendy weird looks. You gotta move on, Dipper!"
"Weird looks... Mabel, it wasn't like that!" Dipper continued to push back. "I was just... reminiscing! For a brief moment! Like you said, she's leaving soon, so a lot of old memories might've come back when I looked at her..."
"...and old feelings..."
"Yeah... wait, I MEAN, NO!"
"It's nothing personal, Dipper. Love is a complicated thing. Moving on isn't always easy," she said as she walked over toward the table her folder lay upon. "That's why I'm finally coming to your aid."
"Huh?"
"While you were busy revisiting your Wendy fantasies, I've been looking for your future. I mean, someone has to come after Wendy, right?" She leaned over and picked up the folder, holding it out to him. "Well, I think I've found that someone, bro."
Dipper stared at the folder cluelessly. "What is that?"
"Your rebound, of course!"
He sighed. "Mabel, I'm not going to go out with some random girl you picked up that I've likely never met before."
"Of course you aren't! That's why I didn't pick 'some random girl'. I picked someone you know and someone who knows you," she assured him as she opened the folder. "And given all the research I've done, I don't think I could've made a better choice."
"Let me guess- Candy? You've already tried to pair me with her, and you know how that went."
"Yeah, and if only that worked out," she mentally pictured. "But, no, it's not Candy again. Actually, I think you'll be much happier with this choice."
She then held out a piece of paper to him, which had a picture of Pacifica Northwest printed on the front of it.
"Don't you think?"
Dipper's eyes bulged. "NO! NO WAY!"
"What?" Mabel frowned at his reaction. "What's the problem?"
"Pacifica Northwest?!" Dipper questioned. "Are you crazy?! I'm not going out with her!"
"But I thought you liked her!"
"Pacifica?! I've never liked her!" Dipper told her bluntly. "I mean, not like that."
"Never?"
"Never!"
"Really?"
"Really!"
"REBUTTAL!" Mabel shouted in his face as she dove her hand into the folder again. "Allow me to present this piece of evidence I have."
"Evidence?"
Mabel proceeded to stick out another piece of paper in front of his face. "This page you wrote in Grunkle Ford's old journal, the night of the mansion party!"
Looking at the paper, Dipper's eye twitched at the sight of it really being one of the pages he wrote in Ford's old journal on the night of the Northwest mansion party. "You read-?!"
"EHEM!" Mabel cleared her throat as she prepared to read off of the page. "'The only thing stranger than meeting this ghost was discovering that Pacifica had some good inside.' Oh and here's my favorite part: 'She also looks kind of okay in an evening dress, I guess.' Man, the girl puts in all that work and all she gets is 'kind of okay', huh?"
"MABEL, NO!" Dipper shouted as he attempted to snatch the page, only for her to swiftly skip away to the other side of the room.
"And look at this cute little thing you tried to cross out! 'And when she hugs you, she smells like champagne and flowers and... am I crazy or was there some sort of vibe going on?' AWWW!"
"That meant nothing!" Dipper shouted blushingly as he finally managed to snatch the page from Mabel. "Also, how did you even get this page?"
"Photocopied it before we threw the journals out," she said with a grin. "I also have about fifty more copies."
"I DON'T LIKE PACIFICA!" Dipper shouted as he angrily tore the paper apart.
"The proof is in the pudding!" Mabel hopped onto her bed and suddenly pulled a chocolate pudding cup from under her bed sheets, opening it and eating a spoonful while looking at Dipper with a wide grin.
"There were plenty of girls at that party that I thought looked alright. It means nothing!"
"But the vibe, Dipper! The viiiiibe!"
"It was four years ago! We were both kids with lots of crazy ideas back then, Mabel! Maybe back then, I thought Pacifica and I might've had something going, but nothing came up of that so obviously, it didn't mean anything. That's that!"
"Nothing came up because you never went after her, brainiac! And have you forgotten how she looks now? She's hot, Dipper! If back then, you only thought she looked okay, then I almost don't wanna know the things going on in that hormone-driven brain of yours when you see her now."
"GAAAAH!" Dipper shouted angrily, face burning red as he pulled down on the muffs of his hat from sheer embarrassment. "That's it! I'm done here! I'm not going on any date with anybody, and I don't want you getting involved in my love life! I don't care what you think! I'm over Wendy, and I don't have feelings for Pacifica!" He picked up his backpack and walked toward the door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to investigate potential lake anomalies and NOT go on a date with my sister's ex-rival."
Mabel sighed somewhat annoyedly. "Fine. Where are you even gonna be at the lake anyway?"
Dipper turned around as he stood at the door frame. "I don't know. The main dock, I guess?"
"And you're just gonna be sitting there all day listening for weird fish?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Maybe I will," he shrugged. "It's better than going on any of your setup dates."
"You're going to get bored and fall asleep."
Dipper scoffed. "Yeah, sure. And I'm also gonna go on a date with Pacifica."
Mabel gasped. "Really?"
"No."
SLAM!
Dipper stormed off out of the room, leaving Mabel alone. She sat in silence for a moment, trying to think about how to go about things next.
"Well if you won't go on the date, then I guess the date will have to come to you…" Mabel planned aloud as she grabbed her pencil and began erasing a portion of her letter for rewriting.
"...and then I had my people beat him up and sue him for all he has!"
A boy with a Scottish accent then broke out laughing at his own story as he sat across from an uneasy Pacifica at an Italian restaurant. She stared at him silently for a moment before looking to the side uncomfortably.
"Ahh…" the boy settled down. "Anyway, that's how we got our thirty-first sports car."
"Uhhh, wow... Interesting story…" Pacifica said, still visibly uneasy.
"Yeah, my family is big on cars. Perhaps I could take you for a spin in one from my dad's deluxe collection back in Scotland," the boy said as he raised his eyebrows suggestively.
"As fun as that sounds…" Pacifica sarcastically began. "...Narcís, you... I mean... we have been talking about your cars all night, and I was just thinking that, you know, we could maybe-"
"Talk about your cars?" Narcís cut off. "Sure! I'm all for it!"
Pacifica paused for a brief second, slightly irritated. "...I was thinking more we could move from the subject of cars entirely. Maybe you could ask me... about myself... for once…"
"Oh, of course! I'm terribly sorry! What was I thinking?" Narcís apologized profusely before slumping back in his seat, becoming immediately uninterested. "Tell me, uh... tell me about you. Err, what do you want to do in your future?"
Pacifica perked up slightly at the question. "Actually, I have been thinking about studying marine science. Or, I don't know... Oceanology...? Oceanography…? Just something related to the ocean, you know? I never really paid attention to it when I was younger, but as I grew up, I've kind of come to love the idea of studying it and the wildlife and-"
"Sounds kinda lame honestly," Narcís cut off as he poked at his spaghetti and meatballs with disinterest.
Pacifica silently stared at Narcís for a moment. Inside, she felt angry with how disrespectful he had been toward her the entire date and felt as though she had the complete right to punch him in the face at that moment. On the other hand, she had never been open about her true future aspirations with many people and those who she had told were also quick to judge the idea.
Studying the ocean? Really? You're a Northwest. You're above that. Keep that sort of work to the lab rats, a voice echoed through her head.
It was those constant judgments that continuously deepened her insecurities. Although conflicted, her suppressed confidence got the better of her at that moment, and she slumped back in her seat.
"Yeah, it is kind of lame, isn't it?" she said as she looked down dourly.
"Eh, no worries. I'm sure my dad can find room for you in our car business," Narcís suggested. "In fact, our fathers would actually be thrilled to collaborate and bring the Northwest and Istic names together! Just think of the profit, Pacifiera!"
Pacifica's eyes widened as she looked back up at him. "...what did you just call me?"
"Pacifiera? That's your name, isn't it? Pacifiera Northwest?" Narcís repeated. "Or is it Pacifilia? It's Pacifilia, isn't it? Yes, my mistake. Apologies, Pacifilia."
Pacifica's eye twitched as she stared at Narcís, who just continued to sit there as though he had done no wrong. As a silence ensued, he looked at her with growing confusion.
"What?"
The front double doors of the Italian restaurant suddenly burst open as Pacifica stormed out, fuming. As she made her way down a set of stairs, Narcís rushed out the double doors, stopping at the top of the stairs with a plate of spaghetti dumped upon his head, sauce dripping down his expensive clothes.
"It was Pacifiera, wasn't it?! No, wait, that can't be right! Pacifiera was my ex! Ah! I know! Pasquelínia! It's Pasquelínia, right? Is that what it is?" he asked, but Pacifica just continued on her way without paying him any further mind. "COME ON, I HAVE THIRTY-ONE SPORTS CARS!"
Pacifica grabbed her phone from her handbag and began dialing a number. "That's the last time I let dad set me up with one of his rich friend's stupid kids…"
As she called her dad, Mabel turned a corner into the district that Pacifica stood in. Letter in hand, she glanced around, eventually laying her eyes on the Italian restaurant. Not too far from it, she spotted Pacifica standing on a street corner.
"There she is!" she said to herself as she began making her way toward her. As she approached, she could overhear her having a conversation on the phone.
"Dad, for the love of God, I don't care if he has thirty-one sports cars!" she said, phone held to her ear. Her eyes suddenly widened. "I don't care if YOU do! This is MY love life we're talking about! If you care so much, then you can date him!"
She angrily pressed down on her phone screen, ending the call before letting out a frustrated sigh.
"Hi, Pacifica!" Mabel greeted as she snuck up behind her.
"AH!" Pacifica jumped, juggling her phone in her hands before maintaining herself. "Mabel?!"
"Mabel."
Pacifica's eyes narrowed. "Ugh. What is it with you Pines always running into me in public nowadays?"
"Oh, this isn't some random encounter. I've actually been looking for you," Mabel clarified.
"What? Then how did you know I was here?"
"Uh... your status update?" Mabel mentioned as she pulled her phone out, showing Pacifica's latest post. "'On another one of my dad's stupid blind date setups. OMG I can't take much more of this. Crying Face, Crying Face, Angry Face... Sneezing Face? Nail Polish...?' Yikes. Rich girl problems, am I right? Also, I don't think you've followed me back yet..."
"Look, I'm in no mood to stomach whatever nonsense you have for me right now," Pacifica dismissed as she began walking off.
"Wait! Then don't stomach my nonsense!" Mabel shouted as she ran after Pacifica, waving the letter in her hands. "Instead, stomach a candlelit dinner on a blind date with the real love of your life!"
Pacifica turned around and took the letter, skimming the front of it. "You're setting me up on a blind date?"
"Yep!" Mabel nodded enthusiastically. "I've been doing some 'research' lately, and I think I've come across a match for you that's just meant to be made!"
"Pass," Pacifica turned down as she continued walking off, tossing the letter over her shoulder.
Mabel caught the letter in her hands, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean 'pass'? You're gonna stand up your date tonight?"
"I don't have a date tonight," Pacifica told her as she turned back around.
"Yes, you do!" Mabel replied, waving the letter in her face. "It's on the letter!"
"A blind date!" Pacifica shouted, pushing Mabel back. "I don't even know who the guy is!"
"That's kind of the point of a blind date."
"I was just on a blind date! With a guy who didn't even know my name!"
"Is it Pacillifia?!"
Pacifica turned to the side where she saw Narcís still trailing her. "Say another word to me, and I'll get MY people to beat YOU up and sue YOU for everything YOU have!"
Narcís suddenly stopped in his tracks. He then smiled fearfully as he made a mouth-zipping motion and began walking backward, leaving her alone.
Pacifica sighed. "Anyways, as you can see, I'm in no mood for another date. Especially a blind date set up by you. Besides, why are you even trying to set me up on a blind date in the first place? Who told you I need romantic help?"
"Nobody, but after that little exchange, it's not like you're doing much better for yourself," Mabel said, gesturing back toward Narcís.
"BLIND. DATE. Set up by my clueless dad. Not my choice!"
"Well, I'd like to think my choice for you is a bit more inspired than anything your dad could ever come up with."
"Inspired doesn't mean better," Pacifica said, crossing her arms.
"Well, then you tell me which is better: a blind date with some snobby, narcissistic rich boy that you've never met before who more than likely only wants you for your looks, ORRRR... a boy that's nice, smart, some other attractive attribute, and most importantly, liiiiiikes youuuu!"
Pacifica's eyes lit up interestedly. "Wait… likes me? You mean it's someone who knows me?"
Mabel smiled teasingly. "And someone who you know."
"Who?"
"Oh, now you're interested, huh?" Mabel questioned with a sly smile.
"I'm not interested! Just... curious."
"Mhmmm…" Mabel said as she folded her arms skeptically.
"C'mon, are you really not gonna tell me?"
"That'd ruin the point of it being a blind date, wouldn't it?" Mabel asked as she held the letter out to her, which she took. "If you're that curious, find out for yourself tonight at seven."
Without another word, Mabel walked off on her way, leaving Pacifica on her own again. Pacifica herself had mixed feelings at that moment.
On one hand, she lacked any trust in Mabel's ability to set her up on a competent date. But the idea of her date supposedly being someone who she actually knew and knew her back admittedly intrigued her. Of course with that type of description, it could be anybody, given her status. The mystery of the person was what intrigued her most though, especially given how insistent Mabel was.
But then again… Mabel.
Curiously, she opened up the letter and read through it. She raised an eyebrow as she read the date's location.
"What am I supposed to wear for this?"
The evening eventually came along, with the sun setting over the horizon and reflecting across the still waters of Lake Gravity Falls. Dipper sat on the edge of a dock that stuck out over the water. Beside him, he had Ford's equipment set up.
He wore a pair of headphones connected to the sonic motion tracker, which he held in his hand, aiming at the water. The tracker itself was connected to a box beside him, which was a unit that contained all of the recorded sonic activity.
Concentrating, he pressed one of the headphones to his left ear, listening out for anything unnatural. However, for all the hours he had spent on the dock, he hadn't heard anything besides a few different types of ordinary fish. On top of things, there wasn't a single sign of abnormal water rippling or ground rumbling all day. Compared to the earlier news broadcast, the lake had been relatively calm, which had led him to question whether or not the broadcast was even real or not.
He was beginning to lose his grip on himself though, as he grew progressively more bored due to the lack of activity, which resulted in his eyelids beginning to droop and struggle to stay open
"Any minute now I'll find that monster. Any minute now..." he said to himself as he yawned. His eyes narrowed. "No. I'm not tired. I'm not bored. I'm not falling asleep. Mabel is wrong. I don't like Wendy. I don't like Pacifica. I don't like... anybody… zzzzzz."
His eyes fully closed, and he leaned forward, falling fast asleep. The tracker also fell from his hand, swinging down and remaining held up from the water by hanging from a cable that was attached to the box beside him.
Already deep in his slumber, he was unable to notice Soos' pickup truck pull up onto the dock behind him. It came to a stop and Mabel jumped out from the passenger seat. She walked forward, creeping up behind Dipper to find him snoring, blatantly unaware of their presence.
"Gosh, you're predictable," she whispered with an eye roll.
"So, uh, what's this all about again?" Soos quietly called out to her from the truck.
"Just giving Dipper a little pick-me-up in the romance department," Mabel said as she walked back behind the pickup and pulled a small wooden table out. "I set Pacifica up on a blind date with him."
"Woah, hold up. You mean that rich Northwest girl that you used to be archenemies with?" Soos processed. "You're setting her up with Dipper?"
"Trust me. Mabel knows what she's doing," she nodded as she positioned the table on the dock. "This isn't some random match I pulled out of nowhere. I know for a fact they already have a thing for each other. This is just me leading them to one another so they can let their chemistry do the rest of the work. Just like Wendy told me. I think..."
"Now Dipper liking Pacifica I can see, but Pacifica liking Dipper back?" Soos asked. "I mean, I love Dipper like a bro, but isn't a girl that rich supposed to have actual standards?"
"I guess some have a preference for huge dorks," Mabel chuckled.
"Oh, man. That's rich!" Soos laughed. "No pun intended."
"I told Pacifica to meet her 'blind date' here at seven," Mabel said as she set up two chairs at the table. "I'm going to make this spot look romantic enough so when I leave them alone, they'll get into the mood and get all awkward and blushy with each other and all those feelings will come pouring out. Then in fifteen years, I'll be Auntie Mabel to at least ten children!"
Soos shook his head at the thought. "Oh, man. Good luck, Future Dipper."
"But yeah, I just gotta get this place set before Pacifica shows," Mabel said as she grabbed a bunch of candles from the back of the truck. "What time is it by the way?"
Soos checked the time on his watch. "6:59."
"What?!" Mabel questioned, nearly dropping all of the candles. She then turned her head back to see a limo in the distance coming in the direction of the dock. "Oh no! I think that's her!" She ran up to Soos' window. "Soos, get out of here! I'll take things from here."
"You got it, hambone!" Soos nodded as he began slowly backing out from the dock. "FOR LOVE!"
"Shhhhh! Soos!"
"Whoops, my bad, dude," Soos apologized, remembering not to wake Dipper.
As Soos cleared the area, Mabel looked over at Dipper to see him still sleeping. Reassured, she quickly began trying to set up the rest of the table and the dock itself. With her many candles, she began lighting them as she frantically placed them along the edges of the dock, making an illuminated path toward the table she had set up. Looking up, she noticed the limo itself coming to a stop, increasing her panic as she realized how many unlit candles she still had left to set up.
"Urrrrgh! I'm not gonna have time to set up the rest of these candles!" She ran up and grabbed the rest of her unused candles before throwing them into the lake. "Go! Swim! Be free! I'm so sorry it had to be like this!"
Soon enough, Pacifica exited from the back of the parked limo. However, she remained in place as she spoke over her cell phone.
"For the last time, Dad! I'm not dating Narcís just so you can get at his family's stupid car collection," she told him with obvious distaste. Her eyes then widened in disgust as her father replied. "EW! I don't even want a convertible! I DON'T CARE ABOUT CARS, DAD!"
"Oh no!" Mabel said to herself as she spotted Pacifica. The dock was her only way of getting away dry, but Pacifica stood right at the other end. Knowing she couldn't risk being seen, she decided to sacrifice her dry clothes and dove into the lake.
SPLASH!
Her head quickly rose to the surface, and she paddled herself over beneath the dock, peeking below from behind one of the wooden legs.
"Yeah, well that just shows how little you know or even care about what I want, Dad," Pacifica continued over the phone. She sighed. "Look, I don't have time for this. I'll talk to you when I get home from this stupid date."
She hung up the phone, shoving it in her handbag. With a fed-up sigh, she then slammed the limo door shut.
"Unbelievable. Feels like there's not a single guy in this world that understands anything about me…" she said before suddenly looking up the dock.
Ahead, she could see the illuminated candles building up to the end where the table sat. Despite the clear romantic intention, she immediately felt repulsed.
"Guess we'll keep adding to that list," she said to herself as she began walking down the dock. "Gosh, this is so corny. Whoever this is really needs to stop taking tips from romance movies. It's so overdone."
Mabel narrowed her eyes as she overheard below. "Corny? Overdone? Is there any pleasing this girl?"
Pacifica walked up to the table at the end of the dock. On top of it, she spotted a note and picked it up. "'My Pacifica. You remind me of a hard math problem: so complex, yet so interesting. Your eyes shine as bright as the screen of my calculator. And like any good book, you have many meanings. But no meaning greater than love?' What does that even mean?"
"Trying to flirt like a nerd is hard, okay!" Mabel said to herself.
Pacifica stared at the note for a moment, having no clue what to make from it. "Seriously, who even came up with…?" she began as she looked up, suddenly freezing once she noticed Dipper sitting on the edge of the dock sleeping. "Dipper?!"
"AH! I'm awake!" Dipper's eyes shot open. "I'm awake. Oh hey, Pacifica."
He paused for a moment.
"Wait... Pacifica? What are you doing here?" He got up on his feet and walked over to her, suddenly growing even more confused as he looked around. "Where did this table come from? And what's with the candles?"
"What am I doing here? You're the one who set this all up!"
"Set... what up?" he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes.
"This date!"
"Date?" he questioned at first before being woken up by the realization, eyes bulging. "DATE?! Woah, what date?! I didn't set up any date!"
"Yes, you did! You wrote this letter!" Pacifica said as she took out the letter Mabel had given her from her purse. "And this note with absolutely horrible flirting. Far worse than anything I would actually expect from you."
"Letter? Note?" he asked before snatching both of them from her and reading over them. "These aren't mine! This isn't even my handwriting! This looks like…"
His eyes widened as he realized what was happening. He then clenched his teeth angrily as he squeezed the letter in his hand, crumpling it.
"...Mabel…"
Pacifica's eyes narrowed once she realized what he was getting at. "Mabel set all of this up?"
"Who else could it be?" Dipper asked as he pitched the crumbled letter and note into the lake. Underneath the dock, Mabel watched as the crumbled papers landed on the surface of the water right next to her.
"Oh boy…" Mabel said.
"Why, that little…" Pacifica began as she clutched her fists. "I should've known this was one of her little setups! She's always up to something! Trying to put me on some blind date!"
"And you bought into it?"
"I was curious!" she defended. "She said it was someone who knew me! Someone who liked me!"
Dipper facepalmed. "God... of course she did... Of course she did! I should've expected this!"
Pacifica raised an eyebrow as she looked at him. "What do you mean?"
"This morning, she was bugging me about having girl problems," Dipper explained. "Next thing I know, she thinks I have a crush on you and wants to set us up."
"What?! Ew!" Pacifica shouted in utter disgust. "Why would she...? Hang on… Where would she even get the idea that you'd have a crush on me in the first place?"
"I-I don't... How am I supposed to know?!" Dipper asked. "I mean, you know how she is! All those weird ideas that she's always coming up with. This is just another one of those!"
Pacifica glared at him for a moment with a mix of apparent disgust and curiosity. "So... to be absolutely clear... you don't have a crush on me?"
"Wha…? No!" Dipper replied vehemently. "I don't! I thought I was... wait, you don't have a crush on me, do you?"
"Ew! Obviously not!" Pacifica denied, turning away. "I was just making sure that you didn't! With this whole date and all…"
"There's no date, and I don't have a crush on you! Okay? This was all Mabel! She told you to come here, and I wasn't even aware you were coming! I was already here trying to solve a mystery by myself before you showed up!"
Pacifica looked around the dock silently as she processed everything. "So I pretty much came for nothing then?"
Dipper thought for a brief moment. "I guess, yeah."
"Great. Last time I listen to a word Mabel says," she sighed as she began walking off. "I'm going home."
"WAIT!" Mabel's voice was suddenly heard, causing the two to look up. Running down the dock, they saw a soaking-wet Mabel trying to reach them. "Woah, woah! What is the problem here?"
Dipper's eyes narrowed furiously at the sight of her. "Mabel!"
"You!" Pacifica shouted as she stomped up to Mabel and aggressively grabbed her by the neck of her sweater. "You tried to set me up with your brother!"
"Yeah, and what's the problem?"
"Wha- The problem is that you tried to set me up with your brother!"
"Mabel, you tried to set us up on a date together LITERALLY behind my back?!" Dipper asked while gesturing straight to the arranged dinner table.
"Gosh, what is the problem here?" Mabel asked as she pushed Pacifica back, freeing herself from her grasp. "I thought you two had the hots for each other!"
The pair's eyes widened as they both immediately turned red-faced from Mabel's implications. "NO!"
"Absolutely not!" Dipper denied.
"Not at all!" Pacifica shook her head.
"Not in a thousand years!"
"Not ever!"
"Not if we were the last two people on the planet!"
"I'd rather kiss a scorpion than even think of kissing him!"
"You two are such liars! Liars!" Mabel accused. "You two have the chance to confess to one another right now, and you're both blowing it!"
"There is nothing to confess, Mabel!" Dipper shouted. "Alright? This is all in your head!"
"I doubt there's anything even left in her head at this point," Pacifica said as she crossed her arms.
"Maybe not in my head, but on my phone there is!" Mabel said as she pulled her phone out from inside her soaking wet sweater, to which it surprisingly still functioned. "I have evidence!"
"Mabel, don't you dare pull that journal page out again!"
"Not that evidence!" Mabel said before pointing toward Pacifica. "Evidence on her!"
"Please. You have nothing to prove that I feel anything about him," she gestured disgustedly.
"Oh, really?" Mabel asked as she searched through her phone. "What about that time you texted 'Dipper' about your little hug four summers ago?"
"Texted?" Dipper asked, confused. "Mabel, I didn't have a phone then. What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about," Pacifica said despite looking to the side somewhat nervously.
"You didn't have a phone, but I did!" Mabel said to him. "And she texted me thinking I was you. And when I called her out for liking you, she got all crazy!"
"Yeah, right! As if I'd ever bother dedicating any time to texting either of you about anything," Pacifica denied.
Mabel ran up and held her phone out for both of them to see. Her screen displayed an apparent text conversation between herself and Pacifica from their last summer in town.
Pacifica: Hey, Dipper...so about that hug. Don't get the wrong idea or anything.
Pacifica: There was monster drool on my sleeve and I was just wiping it off on you.
Pacifica: As if I'd actually hug you on purpose!
Mabel: Pacifica? This is Mabel! Dipper doesn't have a cell phone. What hug?
Pacifica: What?! Uh, nothing! This was a prank text!
Mabel: OMG DO YOU LIKE DIPPER?!
Pacifica: DELETE THIS NUMBER!
Mabel: WHEN'S THE WEDDING LOLLLLLL
Pacifica: I'M SENDING MY BUTLER TO BREAK YOUR LEGS
The conversation was followed by Mabel spamming kissy emotes mockingly and Pacifica screaming in reaction. As Mabel held her phone up proudly in front of them, Pacifica's face held immediate red-faced embarrassment, whereas Dipper's face just read off as confused. He couldn't seem to discern the context of the message exchange. Given he didn't even have a phone of his own until the summer started, texting was still somewhat of a foreign concept to him, and could barely comprehend Mabel's acronym or emote usage.
"As if, am I right?" Mabel jeered.
"Pfft. Seriously?" Pacifica attempted to brush off with a chuckle. "That's obviously an edited screenshot."
"Pacifica, this isn't even a screenshot. These are the literal text messages from the conversation itself."
Pacifica's eyes lit up as she suddenly froze. Even more suddenly and unexpectedly, she tackled Mabel to the ground.
"GIVE ME THAT PHONE!" she yelled viciously as she tried to snatch her phone away.
"NEVER!" Mabel refused, trying to hold her phone to herself.
"I SAID, GIVE IT!"
"AND I SAID, NEVER!"
"THOSE MESSAGES AREN'T REAL!"
"WHY ARE YOU ATTACKING ME THEN?"
"BECAUSE I CAN!"
"THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON!"
Dipper simply stood to the side as he awkwardly watched them struggle with one another, unsure how to intervene. "Uhhhh... guys?"
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
He then turned around to see the beeps coming from the sonic motion tracker. On a monitor attached to the tracker, a message displayed that read "Abnormal Activity Detected".
"Oh crap! Something's happening!" Dipper realized as he ran over to the equipment, putting on the headphones and concentrating. "This is it!"
Behind him, Pacifica was still making efforts to pull the phone out of Mabel's grasp. "We have money to afford hitmen again, and I swear I'll hire one after you if you don't hand the phone over right now!"
Mabel grinned as she looked over in Dipper's direction. "You hearing this, Dipper? If this ain't proof she loves ya, then I don't know what is!"
"AAAAAGH!" Pacifica screamed ferociously as she pushed even harder to steal her phone.
"Shhhh! Keep it down, you two!" Dipper ordered as he kept his focus on the lake activity.
"Really?" Mabel questioned with a frown as she suddenly stopped struggling in her dispute with Pacifica. "I'm trying to get you a girlfriend here, and you're more interested in your dork work?"
Seeing her opportunity, Pacifica mercilessly punched Mabel in the chest, causing her to wince in pain as she let go of her phone, allowing Pacifica to swipe it midair.
"Ow! Hey!"
With a few speedy taps, Pacifica deleted the entire conversation history from Mabel's phone. "There. So-called 'evidence' has been deleted."
"Quite a fuss you started over something 'fake'," Mabel said, squinting her eyes at her.
"I don't like fake info being used against me," she said before looking at the colorfully sticky surface of Mabel's phone in disgust. "Ew! Is there glitter glue on your phone?"
"Either that or old melted ice cream with sparkly sprinkles."
"Ugh…" Pacifica said with revulsion as she unkindly tossed her phone back.
The beeping on the sonic motion tracker began increasing as Dipper continued pointing it at the water. "Something's definitely happening. The sonic frequencies are increasing. Either something down there is getting louder or something is getting closer."
"Well, this is me- getting farther and going home," Pacifica said as she began walking off down the dock again. "This was a huge waste of time and the last thing I needed after everything I've had to deal with today."
Mabel wanted to stop her, but at that point, she knew there was no fixing the situation. The text conversation was deleted. She didn't have another copy of the journal entry on hand to use at that moment. And as far as she knew, Dipper was more fixated on listening to fish speak than trying to get hitched for once in his life. Despite all she had done to try and help him, nothing went to plan.
She turned back toward Dipper as he sat at the edge of the dock and sighed. "Way to go, Dipper. I set you up with the perfect chance to confess your feelings and you blew it."
Midway across the dock, Pacifica paused in place. With a look of curiosity, she glanced back at the two over her shoulder.
"Mabel, shut it for a minute, won't you?" Dipper said as he pressed his headphones against his ears, trying his hardest to concentrate as the tracker's beeping continued to grow faster.
"I thought it would totally work out between you guys, but nooo! 'Mabel's dumb!' 'Mabel's wrong!' 'Mabel doesn't know what she's talking about!' 'It's all Mabel's fault for trying to find happiness for her brother!'"
"Dammit, Mabel! I already told you to be quiet!" Dipper shouted as he stood up, throwing his headphones to the side as he was finally pushed to his limit. "I'm in the middle of figuring out what's causing these abnormal lake ripples and rumbles, and you're throwing me off with your constant yapping about a nonexistent crush that I have on Pacifica!"
Mabel looked around, confused. "What rumbles?"
At that very moment, the ground shook violently, causing the three to lose balance as they stood on the dock. Dipper held onto a short wooden pole for support, whereas Pacifica managed to keep her balance and Mabel fell backward on her behind. Still, they all reacted to the sudden rumbling with mixed feelings of confusion and fear.
The rumbling went on for about ten seconds before calming down. After a brief moment, the three tried to maintain normal stances again.
Dipper looked over at Mabel. "Those rumbl-"
SPLASH!
Suddenly, a figure jumped out from the water and swiftly wrapped its arms around Dipper before pulling him along into the water within the span of a few seconds. With little time to react, Dipper was only able to let out a quick scream before being cut off by the water itself as he went under.
Addled by Dipper's sudden snatching, Mabel quickly jumped back to her feet and ran over to the edge of the dock, with Pacifica also running up from behind with a similar level of concern to share.
"DIPPER!"
And with this chapter, we finally start formally delving into the best Gravity Falls ship- Dipper x Sleep! Nice to see the kid get some rest for once on that dock. It's a shame that Pacifica came in and ruined it. Oh well.
-Absolute Rift
(Chapter updated as of March 20, 2024)