Chapter Eight

Carina saw a picture of the three of them across from the couch and her eyes welled up again. "we're going to miss you so much, Andy." Carina said while standing up and grabbing the picture and walking back to the couch and broke down into sobs. She was alone, wallowing when she felt Maya sit down beside her and wrap her into a hug. "What are we going to do, Maya?" "I don't know, Car. I really don't." Maya replied, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Things are never going to be the same." -

Ben raced from the station to the hospital, hoping that his wife hadn't heard from someone else. When he got to the front desk, he looked at the surgery schedule and saw that his wife was in OR 2 right now. "Shit." Warren let slip out loud.

"Ben?" Someone behind him questioned. "What are you doing here?" Ben turned around and saw Amelia.

"Amelia," Ben breathed out and looked at her. He saw that Amelia's eyes were still puffy. "You heard," Ben stated more than asked.

Amelia nodded. "I ran into Meredith earlier and she told me," Amelia told him, not feeling up to getting into details.

"Are you okay?" Ben asked her, not wanting her to wallow in her grief.

"I know I didn't know Andy that well, but I have known her since I moved here and had watched her around Meredith's kids. I just can't believe that she's gone. And from a gunshot of all things."

Ben nodded. "All of us at the station are having a hard time believing it too. I'm just worried about how my wife will react."

"How will your wife react to what?" Ben heard Miranda's voice come from behind him and the hairs on his neck stuck up. He wasn't sure how Miranda would react to the news, but he knew It would need to be done privately.

"Let's go to your office to talk, Miranda," Ben said before she could reply he started directing Miranda to her office. When they got to her office Ben closed the door and was about to lock it when there was a knock on the door. Ben sighed and opened it and was surprised to see Jo and Helm at the door.

"What do you two need?" Miranda asked before Ben could.

"We just heard some nurses talking about what happened and wanted to make sure you were okay." Jo told her.

"Heard what? Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?" Miranda asked, getting the feeling something bad was going on, creating a pit in the bottom of her stomach.

Ben sighed. "Earlier tonight there was a Crisis One call." Ben paused. He didn't want to add too much suspense, so he just rushed it out. Andy and Vic were responding to it. When they arrived, they saw a young black man being pinned down. They desiccated it but Micheal Dixon showed up and made things worse. His officers got riled up and when some chaos happened one of them pulled his trigger."

"Oh god," Miranda whispered. "Who got shot?"

Ben looked down. "Miranda, it was, I um." Ben cleared his throat.

"Ben, just tell me," Miranda begged.

"It was Andy, Miranda. It was Andy." Ben rushed out, looking at Miranda and watching her face fall.

"Oh, God." Miranda cried out and Ben wrapped his arms around her. Ben watched Jo and Helm leave and was grateful he didn't need to ask.

"Oh, God, Pru." Miranda pulled back and looked Ben in the eyes.

"I know, I know how much Andy meant to Pru. I know how much Andy told her stories about Dean."

"Was Vic injured at all?"

Ben shook his head. "No. She wasn't. She and Ross are fine. It was just Andy who got hurt since she was holding the young man. Jamal, I think was his name. He tried to run but Andy just held onto him, making sure he didn't flee." Ben's eyes welled up. "Miranda all he was doing was coming home from the damn grocery store after getting some things to make his mother pound cake for her birthday today."

Miranda just shook her head. Not saying anything but she had tears falling from her eyes. She pulled back from Ben. "Who worked on her in the OR?"

"Meredith did," Ben told his wife, and she closed her eyes. "She and Maggie did everything they could."

"Wasn't enough though, was it?" Miranda snapped. "Sorry. Sorry. I know they did their jobs as well as they could." Ben nodded. Not knowing what to say he pulled Miranda back into his arms and just held her. Memories of Andy come to his mind.

Ben didn't really talk to many members of 19 when he first joined the team, but Andy was there. She was the one to talk to if he needed any advice or any help.

When Ripley came for the peer reviews, Ben remembered just ranting. He was in awe of Andy's decision-making during that party bus call and even though all the women had survived, there was still that bad moment since they already had a man in 19's aid car. Ben could still recall all that he had said to Ripley.

"Well, happy to help, but I don't know how valuable my rookie opinion is." Ben told Ripley "Herrera was making decisions in the moment, necessary decisions. She didn't have time to hesitate. Those patients didn't have time. She couldn't have predicted what happened in the end. No one could have."

Ben remembered that Ripley had twisted his words to make Andy seem like she was a horrible captain, but they all knew, or most of them at least, that she was the right woman for the job.

Ben felt heartbroken knowing that Andy was gone. He knew everyone who worked at the station was heartbroken too. He-

Ben was getting deeper into his thoughts when he felt Miranda pull out of his embrace and go sit down. He watched her put her head into her hands, resting on her knees and his frown deepened. He got pulled into another flashback. Remembering when he and Andy brought a patient to Pac North, and he just kept on dying over and over again on the way there. He remembered seeing Andy pacing and having tears in her eyes, so he asked her what was wrong.

"Nothing. You just have no idea. Today was already one thing after another, and I thought the call would take my mind off all the things, but apparently, I'm living in a world of Whack-a-more." Andy almost laughed.

"Is everything all right?"

"Ryan's leaving, and I shouldn't care but I kinda do. But I don't, because what's more important is I'm helping Vic. Except I'm not because she's sneaking out of my apartment, leaving me with Maya, who I can't even talk to right now. And then I get stuck with the guy who keeps dying. And someone I really looked up to did die, and.." Andy sighed "You know, through all of it, all I can hear is the sound of those damn bells." Andy looked down at the floor and her voice started to break "Coming from my dad's room." Andy looked up at Ben with teary eyes, voice still breaking "I'm nine years old all over again, and all this stuff is coming up that I don't know how to- I don't know how to clamp it down, I don't know how to make it go away." Ben remembered feeling heartbroken for Andy. He didn't know Ripley well, but he did know that Andy had been around SFD her whole life. She grew up around all these firefighters and hated that she had to go through the grief of losing him.

"One bleeder at a time."

Andy had been confused. "What?"

"One bleeder at a time, it's something I learned when I was a surgeon. When you open a patient up, and everywhere you look, there's something bleeding or falling apart, when it's damage control, all you can do is tackle one bleeder at a time."

Ben had told her, he didn't know if that helped in the long run but he still hoped it had some effect on her. Ben moved over to sit down on the couch next to his wife and ran a hand up and down Mianda's back. After several minutes Miranda leaned back, and Ben pulled her into his arms.

Miranda sighed. "Ben, I'm going to go talk to Richard, tell him I need to go home."

Ben nodded. "I'll wait here for you if you want. Or do you want me to come with you?"

Miranda shook her head and stood up. "I'm okay. Stay here. Pack up my stuff for me, please?"

Ben nodded and Miranda rushed out of the office, leaving Ben to his thoughts. I hate this, I hate this so much. What the fuck am I supposed to tell the boys and Pru. Andy was spending nearly as much time playing basketball with Joey and Tucker as she spent time with Pru. Pru had Andy wrapped around her little finger. Ben smiled. He loved seeing the three of them play together. Andy truly was just a kid at heart, and he loved that about her. She was so unafraid. Ben closed his eyes and tried to calm himself down. His wife could be back at any second and he couldn't afford to let her see him break down.

Ben sighed and leaned back onto the couch, eyes staying closed.

"Ben," Miranda called but Ben didn't move. "Ben!" Miranda tried again and Ben's eyes snapped open.

"Sorry, what?" Ben leaned forward, rubbing his eyes.

"I was just calling your name, Ben." Miranda shook her head and walked over to her husband, offering her hand to help Ben up off the couch. "Let's go home."

Ben and Miranda walked out of the hospital, went to their car, and drove home. When they got to the house Ben parked the car but didn't make a move to get out.

"Ben? What's wrong?" Miranda asked, placing a hand on Ben's thigh.

"What do we tell the kids? Andy was an important part of their lives." Ben turned to face Miranda, eyes glistening from the tears he was trying to hold back. Miranda turned to look out of the window and to the house. Both her sons and daughter would be home.

"The truth. We need to tell them the truth. If not, they'll probably see it soon enough on the news. A firefighter was shot to death by a cop. With the beef you all have had in the past it'll get a lot of attention." Miranda told her husband and he nodded.

Without another word, he opened the car door, got out, and reached for Miranda's hand before stepping through the door.

Tucker had just been walking down the stairs.

"Hey, Dad! Hey mom!" He said and walked over to hug them and when he pulled back, he furrowed his eyebrows. "Aren't you guys supposed to be at work? It's early"

Ben sighed. "Can you wake Joey and Pru up and meet us in the living room, please? We're going to get changed and then we'll be back down." Tucker just nodded and walked away without saying another word.

Ben and Miranda walked up to their room, got changed and then went back downstairs. When they got into the living room Joey was the one to see them first and he saw that they were going to be told something bad.

"What happened?" Joey asked and Tucker and Pru looked at the couple. "Did something happen? Is that why you're both home early?" he asked from the couch where all the kids were seated.

Ben nodded. "Around 9 pm last night, there was a shooting during a Crisis One call." Tucker's jaw dropped, Joey closed his eyes and reached for Pru.

"Who got shot?" Tucker asked, trying not to panic. "Was it someone at the station?"

Ben felt Miranda's hand squeeze his thigh, trying to give him a little comfort to make him strong enough to tell their kids that it was Andy.

"Um, Vic and Andy were on the call, it got heated with the cops. Andy, Vic, and Ross were trying to stop the cops from grabbing the young man, Jamal,"

"Can you stop the suspense and tell us who was shot?" Joey snapped.

Ben looked at him and nodded, knowing he wouldn't want suspense while hearing the devastating news. "It was Andy. Andy was protecting the man and she got shot when a cop was aiming for the man. Apparently, she didn't even realize she was shot until all the chaos stopped." Ben told them, rubbing a hand over his face, feeling a headache coming on.

"Is she okay?" Pru asked and everyone turned to look at her and Miranda felt her heart break. She walked over to the couch and grabbed Pru from Joey and pulled her into her lap as she sat beside her boys.

"No, sweetie. She isn't." Miranda told her, hugging her and then looking at her boys.

"Mom? Just tell us." Tucker begged.

"At 11 pm her time of death was confirmed," Ben told them, whispering, not able to get his voice any higher.

"NO!" Pru shouted and got teary eyes. "Auntie Andy is gone?" she asked. "Like daddy?" the water in Pru's eyes began to fall, breaking the family's hearts.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Miranda's voice cracked, not being able to hold her emotions back anymore.

Miranda looked up at Joey and Tucker and saw tears in Tucker's eyes while Joey stood up off the couch and stormed out of the house to the backyard.

"I got him," Ben told his wife and followed behind Joey.

Miranda looked at Tucker. "Tuck, you, okay?" she asked, reaching for one of his hands.

Tucker shook his head. "No," he said bluntly and stood up. "I'm going to my room. Let you have a moment with Pru." Miranda nodded, already planning on talking to him later.

Miranda looked down at the little girl in her arms. Pru was still sobbing, and Miranda wasn't sure what she could say to make Pru feel better when she was grieving.

"Pru, Honey." Pru looked at Miranda. "I know this loss hurts. Do you need to talk right now, or do you just want some cuddles?"

"Why do I keep losing people?" Pru asked, a sob racking through her body.

"Oh, honey. I don't know. I am so sorry you've lost people who matter to you the most." Miranda told her, holding her tighter.

Pru didn't say anything, just curled herself to Miranda's front and Miranda just held her.

"She loves you so much, Miranda." Miranda heard Andy say and was thrown back into a memory.

"How do you know?"

"She doesn't let a lot of people touch her or hug her but she's letting you hold her. Letting you love her after only knowing you for a month." Andy had told her, smiling.

Miranda looked down at little Pru and smiled. "Well, I love her so much too. I just hope I do right by her."

Andy and Miranda were sitting in the backyard, it was late at night during the summer, Ben was playing basketball with the boys while Andy was taking a break and relaxing with Miranda and Pru.

"You will, Miranda," Andy reassured. "You already are." Miranda looked down at the little girl who was cuddling into her.

"Hey, Pru." Miranda swiped back some of Pru's hair when she lifted her head to look at her. "I need to use the bathroom. Think you can sit with Andy for a little bit?" Miranda watched her nod fast and giggled as she watched Pru climb up to cuddle into Andy's front. Miranda watched Andy kiss Pru's forehead and squeeze the girl, making her giggle. She watched Andy hold her and thought about how she would make a great mom. She saw how Andy was with Pru. She didn't know if it was because Pru reminded Andy of her dad or if she thought about how they both could relate to losing their dads to a fire. She sighed. Both have been through so much. She just wanted the best for her and was glad she had Andy there with them nearly every day.

Miranda was pulled out of the memory when she felt the couch dip. She looked to her right and saw Ben and Joey. Joey had tear tracks on his face, her husband not fairing much better. She reached for Joey's hand while keeping one of Pru's back.

"it's going to be okay." Miranda said while running her hand up and down Pru's back. "it's going to be okay."

"Is it?" Ben asked, a single tear falling.

This is getting really hard to write :(