[Cuts to Jessie, Luke, and Michael at the car dealership; they're at the front desk]

MIRANDA: So you want to rent a car?

JESSIE: Yes. [A moment of Miranda giving looks]

MIRANDA: I need to see your driver's license.

JESSIE: I'm not that young. [Jessie looks into her wallet for her driver's liscense]

LUKE: This is so much fun [turns to Michael] right Dad?

MICHAEL: No. She goes to college, moves back with us for three weeks, packs again, and then [trying to remember] she tries to go to New York City, and then she's moving in with us.

LUKE: And what about the mover guys? [Michael loses his mind] C'mon Dad. [Snaps at him]

MIRANDA: Something feels off about you.

JESSIE: Yes. [Nods solemnly] I cut down three inches of my hair.

MIRANDA: Okay fine. [Gives Jessie back her driver's license] You may choose a rental car.

JESSIE: Alright. Dad. [Michael turns slowly to Jessie]

MICHAEL: What do you want? [Grabs his wallet]

JESSIE: What's my budget?

MICHAEL: [His face lights up] Let's see.

MIRANDA: Did he survive a chemical swimming pool?

JESSIE: That's the face when he saw Mom- [Pauses] There's a twelve year old kid around here let's not talk about certain subjects right now. Okay?

MIRANDA: Sorry, I can't relate.

JESSIE: Of course you can't! [Miranda and Jessie laugh]

LUKE: Dad, what's Jessie's budget? [Michael keeps thinking]

JESSIE: Dad, the drive from Alabama to New York is fifteen hours, we don't have all day.

MICHAEL: By the Bank of Michael, [turns to Jessie] your budget is five thousand dollars?

JESSIE: And I have to pay interest?

MIRANDA: That's a pretty good price if you're renting a car.

JESSIE: I'm not really used to it. [Turns to Miranda] I've driven the same, now beat-up car for six years.

MIRANDA: Actually, [thinking] we're going out a business.

MICHAEL: We saw the sign.

MIRANDA: So maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll ask my manager.

LUKE: We talked about suspense in English Arts. [Miranda gets her manager]

JESSIE: So now we wait. [Luke gets bored]

MICHAEL: I swear Jessie, [turns to Jessie] kids have the shortest attention spans these days. [Miranda comes back with her manager, Lincoln]

LINCOLN: Alright. [Claps his hands] You're our last customer. [Miranda whispers something in Lincoln's ear] So we'll give you the car free, unlimited warranty, but through these services I'm writing down on this sticky note [grabs a sticky note and starts writing on it] you will be able to purchase this car.

MIRANDA: Please agree to the terms of service. Follow me. [Hand signals for Jessie to follow her; Luke and Michael also follow] Here is the terms of service button, you must agree to them.

JESSIE: I just press it?

MIRANDA: Yes. What else would you do with it?

JESSIE: Rip it in half. [Michael shrugs at the thought]

MIRANDA: Please agree! [In deep voice] I want to get out of this job. [In normal voice] Please agree! [Jessie presses the button; confetti comes out the roof]

LUKE: Seriously?

MIRANDA: Yes. First one!

JESSIE: Ugh. [Rolls her eyes]

MIRANDA: This is a 2006 Honda Civic, in good condition. Never used, but once touched by a kid who died of not washing his hands properly.

MICHAEL: Reminder for Luke. [Gets his phone and types that]

JESSIE: Ew.

MIRANDA: Next car! [They go to the next car] This is a 2020 Toyota Camry, in great condition. Used once, and we had to replace that wall of the building that it crashed into.

JESSIE: At least you didn't use duct tape. And no.

MIRANDA: Why God? Why must this happen? [They go to the next car] This is a 2024 Nissan Rogue, in amazing condition. Never been used, and nothing even happened to this car. Actually, this is our newest model.

JESSIE: Our?

LUKE: Can we leave Dad? [Michael giggling]

MICHAEL: You wish.

MIRANDA: Last car in stock.

JESSIE: I like this one.

MIRANDA: You- like- a 2001 Mercedes-Benz car with Legally Blonde posters all around it? It's been used twice by Legally Blonde fans who got married and had babies.

JESSIE: I'm surprised the baby didn't even want it.

MIRANDA: No. [Shakes her head no] They've had seven children. [Gets a notification] Now they have eight children.

LINCOLN: Here you go. [Jessie takes the sticky note from him]

JESSIE: Okay. I like the Nissan car.

MIRANDA: Thank the heavens! [Gives her the keys]

LINCOLN: I called the construction crew. You want to see the demolition of the building haunted by my great aunt Barbra?

LUKE: Yes!

MICHAEL: I'm booking a hotel for all three of us.

JESSIE: Fine. I'll purchase it for ten dollars.

MIRANDA: Everything must go! [Jessie hands Miranda ten dollars]

[We cut to Jessie, Miranda, Lincoln, Luke and Michael in the Nissan Rogue; the demolition crew are about to tear it down]

BOOM GUY: 3... 2... 1... [the building collapses in an instant; everyone cheers; scene completed]