A/N: I've never been pregnant. Pregnancy scenes therefore might end up kind of cliche.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Two.
"Iroh?"
"Hm?" He barely responded as he pressed a kiss to her collarbone, making her shiver.
"I, um…" The thought was lost in a gasp when his mouth wandered somewhere a bit lower than her collarbone.
"Yes?" He was teasing her, leaving soft kisses on her too-warm skin as he trailed his way back up her neck, shifting so he was on top of her when he reached her mouth. Her next attempt at answering was cut off by his lips, his tongue quickly following.
They'd already spent most of their unusually lazy morning in bed, which was no surprise since Iroh had returned from his two months in the Earth Kingdom last night and slipped into her room to show her exactly how much he'd missed her. By all rights, he should have been worn out by now. And yet she could feel him starting to work himself up again as he broke the kiss and moved to suck at the crook of her neck. Instinctively, her legs went around his waist and she arched up into him, her body responding almost immediately.
It was honestly ridiculous, but Ursa had missed this; the urgent kisses, the way he was so forceful in his touch but never actually hurt her, the woodsmoke of the new handprints he'd burned into her headboard during a particularly energetic round. The practically newlywed passion was almost enough to make her forget she needed to talk to him. But she had to, and now, before they got swept up in another round of lovemaking.
"Iroh, seriously!" she managed to whimper, grasping at his broad shoulders as he bucked his hips against her.
"What?" He asked in a mock-exasperated tone, lifting his head to look at her. "You're the one with your legs wrapped around me."
"You-" She stopped herself from taking the bait, knowing fully well that the twinkle in his eye meant he hoped to seduce his way into winning the playful argument he was setting up. "I have to tell you something."
"I can listen while doing other things. Unless you were having trouble talking."
Her pout as she removed her legs from him seemed to clue him in that she was serious. Obediently, he rolled onto his side, resting his head on his hand as he waited for her to continue. She faced him, mirroring his pose with a smile to let him know she wasn't actually upset.
"I…" Even though she'd already confessed it to Piandao and spent the month since then thinking of how she would tell Iroh, saying it out loud again still felt overwhelming. "I'm pregnant."
Iroh's relaxed demeanor tensed.
"I missed my bleeding, and I started having morning sickness last month. I waited for you to come home instead of writing a letter because I thought it would be better to tell you in person." His stiff silence was starting to unnerve her. "Are you upset I waited?"
Her question pierced through whatever haze of shock he'd been caught in. "Upset?" he laughed, and he was on her again, kissing her with an intensity that made the way he'd greeted her last night feel like a schoolyard peck on the cheek. "How could I be upset?" he asked as he withdrew, the sheer joy in his face washing away the anxiety that had been building within Ursa. "Why would I ever be upset about getting to celebrate this here with you? My love, even if you'd sent me a letter, I would have abandoned that battle to come straight home and do exactly this."
Ursa giggled, his excitement spreading to her as well. If she let it, his joy could almost convince her that night she'd cried into Piandao's shoulder had been a bad dream.
"We need to get you a physician," he continued, nuzzling into her neck with a playful growl. "Which one should we call? You know what, forget the royal ones, we should write Korzu-"
"Iroh," she laughed, "let Kor live his life instead of dragging him back here every time I need medical attention. Besides, I'd rather have him be a friend rather than a doctor for this, and I don't want to tell friends just yet."
"Alright, alright. Have you told anyone at all?"
"No," she lied, not wanting to explain how and why Piandao of all people had ended up her confidant, "although I'm sure Mika and Rei will start getting suspicious soon."
"Do you want to tell anyone else?"
Ursa ran her fingers along his stubbled jaw; he hadn't shaved in a while since grooming was rarely the priority in battle, but there was something about the roughened look that pleased her even though she normally preferred him clean-shaven. "Not really," she admitted. "Call me superstitious, but…I think it's best kept between you and I until the traditional three months have passed. Is that okay?"
"Of course," he said, leaning down to pepper her face with butterfly kisses. "Of course, of course. Everyone - even my father - can wait until you decide you want to tell them."
Her mood was slightly dampened as she thought of how pleased Azulon would be by his prophecy coming true. Mighty, Avatar-descended heirs, securing his bloodline's right to rule…
The shift of Iroh moving to press his mouth to her stomach interrupted her train of thought, especially as the sensation tickled enough to make her squirm. "You realize I'm barely pregnant, right?"
"I don't care." He rested his cheek against her still rather flat abdomen, gazing at her so reverently her chest ached. "I want to make sure he feels loved right away."
Whatever discomfort she felt with the prophecy weighing on her was easily canceled out by his sweet sincerity. "It could also be a girl."
"It could." His eyes shone. "A girl as clever and beautiful as you, raised with the very best of everything the nation has to offer. The world would tremble before that Fire Lord."
"You give me too much credit. Wouldn't having the Dragon of the West as a father shape anyone into a fearsome Fire Lord?"
"The Dragon of the West hardly strikes me as the name of a good father figure," he said, his smile dimming.
"What do you mean?" Ursa would have sat up to comfort him if his head wasn't still on her. She settled for reaching down and running her hands through his hair. "You're going to be a great dad. Of course you are."
"I wish I had your confidence. You know my father's not the most affectionate."
That was hard to argue. Ursa tugged at him to come lie next to her again, and he obeyed, wrapping her up in his arms.
"What about your Grampa?" she asked, thinking of the jovial old man who'd clearly influenced Iroh's upbringing. "He must have been a good father to your mother. And you certainly look up to him."
"He never had to discipline me, or worry about preparing me for the throne."
"I know," Ursa nuzzled his chin, "but you don't have to be exactly like him, just like you don't have to be exactly like your father either. You can take the things you admire about both of them and be a wonderful father in your own way."
Iroh's warm hand was rubbing small circles into her back. She relaxed under the attention, sighing contentedly. "Perhaps," he agreed. "You always have much better ideas than me, my love."
"That's not true."
He kissed her, his way of shutting down the argument before it could really start. Ursa debated pushing him off and giving him another lecture about not using affection as a distraction, but his hands were sliding to grip her hips and his tongue was doing something exquisite…
"Iroh!" she gasped, caught off-guard when he flipped her onto her back. "Haven't you had enough?"
His mouth was hot on her neck, trailing a dangerous path down to her belly and further still. Moaning, Ursa tangled her fingers in his hair, knowing that path ended with them not leaving the bed for another half-hour.
"You know I can never get enough of you. Besides, news like this deserves an adequate celebration." He kissed the sensitive inside of her thigh, eyes twinkling with that seductive mischief that made her knees weak. "Don't you think?"
Half an hour turned out to be too short of an estimate.
Three
The customary waiting period passed, and the news was finally announced: the crown prince and princess were expecting their first child.
The Fire Lord was the first to know, of course, and he wasted no time ordering a grand celebration marking a new generation of the royal family. It was the proudest Iroh had seen him in years, toasting his son and daughter-in-law with a flowery speech about the joy of impending grandfatherhood and presenting Ursa with a lovely pair of ruby earrings. Nobility across the nation promptly followed suit, and soon Ursa and Iroh were inundated with more well-wishes and gifts honoring the expecting mother and her unborn child than they knew what to do with. Most of them were generic enough, but a few stood out.
"Look at what Piandao sent," Ursa said, giggling.
Wondering what his friend could have possibly scraped together while on the front lines, Iroh sat next to his wife on the couch in his study and peered at the letter in her hands. There was a list at the bottom, titled Advice for dealing with a baby prince (from an expert).
"Hey," Iroh scowled, "I was not 'easily bribed by popsicles.'"
"I don't know, I can kind of see it."
"Is this all he gave you? A letter insulting me?"
"No," Ursa held up her wrist, displaying a new emerald bracelet that Xiliu immediately leapt up to try and claim as a toy. "He sent some Earth Kingdom stones to Aisha, and she made me a good luck talisman that's supposed to protect the baby and I during pregnancy and childbirth. It's a colonial thing, apparently."
"I'm counting that as Aisha's gift, not Piandao's."
"It's from both of them, Iroh. You don't have to be so hard on him because you miss him," she teased, pecking his cheek. He smiled, before pouring her a cup of ginger tea for her nausea. "Ugh, no," she waved it away, wrinkling her nose.
"What do you mean, no? I thought this helped."
"It did. The smell's just randomly making my stomach worse now. Add ginger tea to the list, I guess."
Ginger tea was approximately the hundredth thing Ursa couldn't stand anymore. Even worse, the list seemed to change as randomly as the wind.
"I'm sorry," she said plaintively, seeming to read his thoughts. "I know it's frustrating."
"What do you have to be sorry for? I know it's the baby."
"Oh, the baby. I'm barely a third of the way through this thing, and the baby hates everything I eat."
"I'm sure that's not what it is."
"Maybe not." The corner of her mouth lifted. "Maybe the baby just hates tea."
"Don't even joke about that."
Korzu sent a stuffed dragon for the baby and an assortment of soothing ointments and oils for Ursa. Hana personally delivered a beautiful array of maternity robes. Ozai presented her with a bouquet of baby's breath, which was more thoughtful than Iroh had expected. Iroh's grandparents gave her a special anti-nausea tea, predictably enough, and a set of bejeweled hair ornaments that had once belonged to his mother. Ursa's own parents, once they received her letter, wrote back with pages of excited advice and sent boxes of Ursa's baby clothes, in case they had "a daughter who could use some old clothes to spit up on."
It was her parents' message that soured Ursa's mood, arriving a week after she'd already opened all the other presents and greetings. "I wish I could see them," she whispered, touching her slightly-growing belly as she gazed at the turtleduck pond.
A lump lodged itself in Iroh's throat. The downside of sharing the news was his father had made it clear there was no way Ursa could leave the capital while carrying a future Fire Lord. "As soon as we can, we'll take the baby to meet your family."
"What if we can't?" Her watery eyes found his. "Right now, the Fire Lord's rule is that I can't risk his unborn heir's health by traveling unnecessarily. Soon, it'll be that his grandbaby is too precious to risk a visit to some village. What if my parents and my child never meet?"
With his father, it was a reasonable fear. Iroh drew her against his side, watching the baby turtleducks bump into each other. "They will, my love. You have my word."
Ursa sniffed, then turned to kiss him. He welcomed the tender affection, although he was caught off-guard by her winding her arms around his neck and pulling herself into his lap to deepen the kiss.
"You're so good to me," she panted, straddling him. "I love you."
"I love you too," he whispered, although he couldn't quite finish the sentence before her tongue was greedily licking into his mouth, her hips grinding into his.
"Want you," she whined as she broke the kiss, starting to nip and suck at his neck instead.
As much as Iroh was enjoying the attention, it was definitely coming out of nowhere, and her hands tugging at his robe reminded him that they were in a rather public spot. "Darling," he moaned, "we're in the garden. Don't you want to move inside before doing this?"
Just as suddenly as she'd started, she jerked back and glared at him. "What?" she challenged. "Now you suddenly care about being seen in public?"
"Well, you normally-"
"It's because I'm getting fat, isn't it?"
"Dearest, you're not-"
"Save it." With a huff, Ursa clambered off him and stormed into the palace.
What just happened?
By the time he found Ursa in her room, he was fully prepared to apologize for whatever he'd done that had set her off, but she ended up beating him to it. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, all but throwing herself into his arms. "Are you mad at me?"
This afternoon was starting to give him whiplash, but at least she wasn't angry anymore. "Of course not, darling. I was just coming to say sorry to you."
"No, no, it's my fault." She buried her face in his neck. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Iroh. I just keep feeling so sad, and then suddenly I get all…horny, and then I get angry at myself for being horny while I'm pregnant and then I take it out on other people and then I get sad again for being so horrible. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I feel like I'm going insane."
Briefly, Iroh remembered something his grandfather had written in his congratulations letter: Of course you should tend to the needs of the mother of your child, but you should also be prepared to give her infinite patience. Growing a baby drives a woman more than a bit out of her mind, even one who loves you as much as Ursa. Holding grudges over missteps and harsh words during the next few months won't help either of you, but patience and forgiveness will.
"You're pregnant," Iroh said, stroking her hair. "For Agni's sake, my love, you're growing our child inside you. If that doesn't permit you to go insane, I don't know what does."
"And you'll still love me?"
"I don't think I could stop loving you if I tried."
She finally looked at him, face still streaked with tears, but a pretty smile thankfully gracing her lips. "I really do love you," she said.
"I really do love you, too."
Her mouth found his, escalating quickly again, and it wasn't long before Iroh was picking her up to let her wrap her legs around his waist as she whined his name.
"You're sure it's fine I want to do this while I'm pregnant?" she whispered as he laid her down on the bed.
"Of course. If you're worried about it, I'll be gentle."
"Don't be too gentle." Her eyes shone with desire, stoking an answering flare of lust within Iroh. "I think I need to be punished a little for how I've been behaving."
Four.
It happened in the library while Ursa was reading some Water Tribe scrolls about pregnancy and childbirth. The gasp she let out was magnified by a thousand in the quiet space, startling Xiliu out of her lap.
"What?" Ozai all but jumped out of his chair on the other side of the table. "Are you going into labor?"
Despite her excitement, Ursa couldn't help but laugh at the panicked teenager. "Ozai, I'm not even five months along. It's not possible for me to be in labor yet."
Iroh had left for a couple of weeks—very apologetically, with tender kisses and whispered promises that he would make up for it when he got back—to oversee an emergency aid effort for the survivors of a volcano eruption on one of the outer islands. Ursa should have been the one to oversee it, considering the aid was funded by her theater troupe, but now she was basically on house arrest until the baby arrived. At least Ozai was being extra cautious about making sure Ursa was okay while his brother was gone. He clearly didn't want a repeat of her broken wrist.
"I'm not a physician," he scowled. "Do you need help or not?"
"I'm fine," Ursa smiled. "More than fine. The baby's kicking."
"Oh, is that all?" Ozai sat back down and resumed paging through the war strategies manual he'd been reading.
That hadn't been the reaction she was looking for. She folded her arms and huffed pointedly.
Ozai glanced back up. "Um…is it a big deal or something?"
"Yes!" Why couldn't Iroh have been here for this? "The baby's kicking. For the first time. Isn't that exciting?"
"It's not my baby."
"But it's your future niece or nephew." She stood and walked around the table so she was next to Ozai, who leaned away from her overdramatically. "Here, do you want to feel it?"
"Is that an order?"
"No."
"Then no thank you."
"Ozai," she half-whined, "are you really going to upset your pregnant sister?"
"So it is an order."
"It's not an order. It's emotional blackmail. A prince should know the difference."
With a grumble, Ozai reluctantly placed a hand on her baby bump, which was now about the size of a small melon. "Sweetheart," Ursa whispered to her unborn child. "That's your Uncle Ozai saying hi."
Ozai's wrinkled nose expressed exactly how thrilled he felt about being an uncle, but it quickly vanished when the baby kicked. "Dragonshit," he swore as he all but recoiled, eyes wide, "that feels weird."
"Don't use foul language around the baby," she scolded. "But yes, it does feel a little weird." The gentle kicking began again, more of a fluttering sensation than anything. Ursa rubbed her stomach, enjoying the first real proof that there was indeed a baby inside her, growing stronger day by day.
"Doesn't it freak you out?" Ozai asked, staring at her belly with a mix of curiosity and horror. "Having a…creature inside you, wiggling around like that?"
"Not really. The baby's been there for a few months now, so I've been expecting to feel some movement." Ursa shrugged.
"Crazy." To her surprise, Ozai tentatively touched her a second time, once again jerking away when the kicking started. "I bet it's a bender," he said. "Kicking like that. A fighter, in any case."
"Well, with you and Iroh to learn from, what else could he be?"
"It's a boy?"
The way Ozai latched onto her use of the word 'he' so quickly made her blink. Besides the flowers he'd given her as congratulations, that was the most interest he had shown in the pregnancy. "I don't actually know. But I guess I've been thinking of the baby as a boy."
"Do you care what it is?"
"No," she said honestly. "I'd like to have both a boy and a girl eventually, but I don't care which one comes first."
"Hm. Well, boy or girl, Iroh's kid will be a fighter."
She flicked his ear and corrected, "Iroh's and my kid."
"Yeah, you'll teach it to be good at flowers or something." Ozai grinned unabashedly, dodging her second attempt to flick him. In retaliation, she pinched his upper arm hard enough that he yelped.
"And Ozai?"
"What?" He looked up from rubbing his sore bicep with a grimace.
"If you call my baby a 'creature' ever again, I'm telling Iroh to shave your head."
Five.
"It's bad enough that the baby's blowing up my breasts and stomach and thighs like overstuffed pillows, but what business does it have with my feet?"
His wife looked far from overstuffed, but Iroh knew any commentary about her appearance - good or bad - would not be well-received in her current mood. Instead of voicing his thoughts, he leaned forward and kissed her baby bump.
"Little dragon," he called, "can you answer your mother's question?" Playfully, he pressed his ear to her stomach and pretended to listen. "Oh, I see. Yes, yes, that makes sense. But maybe you should slow down a bit. You've still got three more months in there, after all."
"What are you two talking about?" Ursa frowned at him from where she was leaning back against the pillows with Xiliu next to her, a small smile letting him know his antics were working.
"Our little dragon says that swelling up your feet ensures that I will give you lots of foot rubs to make you feel better. I'm saying that it's not a bad idea, but we don't want your feet to get too sore over the next few months."
"Your 'little dragon's' logic is just as crooked as yours," she muttered with no real venom, closing her eyes as Iroh sat back up and returned to massaging her foot. Xiliu assisted in his own way by licking at her fingers. "Hmm…that does feel nice, though."
"Now who's got crooked logic?" Her other foot lifted up to lightly kick him in the shoulder. "Fine, still me."
"Exactly."
Iroh placed a hand on her belly, smiling at the fluttering kicks that responded. Even though he spent hours lying next to Ursa and feeling the baby move whenever he had a free evening, it still amazed him. "Someone's active tonight."
"Oh, yes. But someone still didn't want any perfectly good loco moco for dinner and decided to make it my problem."
Her appetite was yet another thing that had gone askew during the pregnancy. For not the first time, Iroh wondered how women had done this for generations. "Do you want to try eating something now? You've barely had any food today."
"No, I don't feel like it."
"Are you nauseous?"
She shook her head. "No, not as much anymore. Just don't feel like it."
"Dearest…" he wavered, trying to figure out the most delicate way to phrase his thoughts, "you're supposed to be eating for two now, and you're eating even less than you did before the pregnancy."
That wasn't delicate enough. She jerked her feet away from him and glared. "You think I'm a bad mother?"
"That's not what I said. I'm just concerned about nutrition for both you and the baby. If you really don't feel hungry, maybe we could speak to the physicians about designing a more nutrient-dense diet?"
Her glare fell, and now she just looked sad, picking Xiliu up and cuddling him for comfort. "So you do think I'm a bad mother."
"I don't," Iroh insisted, cursing himself for raising the subject. What was it about pregnancy that was making her see herself in the worst possible light? "I swear on my own mother, I don't. I'm just trying to make sure my child and the mother of my child are both healthy."
Iroh would never take his mother's name in vain, and Ursa knew that. With a sigh, she stretched her legs out again, and he quickly went back to rubbing her feet to defuse the situation.
"You don't have to worry," she said after a long moment, still stroking Xiliu's fur like he was a stuffed animal. "I have been eating. Just…not with you."
"Oh." He hadn't known that. "That's good to hear, as long as you're eating well."
"I am. Aisha makes sure I'm getting my nutrients."
"Is there…a reason you didn't tell me?" he asked. "Would you rather eat alone from now on?"
"Nothing like that," she said, blushing. "I love eating with you, usually. Right now, it's just…"
"Is it something I did?"
"No, no of course not. You're wonderful, you know that." She wiggled the foot he was massaging meaningfully. "It's just embarrassing, Iroh."
"Is it more embarrassing than when you kissed me for the first time and I almost knocked myself out on a tree branch?"
"I guess not," she admitted with a laugh, releasing Xiliu once more. "I've been craving…really odd foods. And Aisha, Mika and Rei are the only people who I've told about it."
Was that all? Iroh couldn't help smiling a little. "I understand what you mean. My mother had very intense cravings too when she was carrying Ozai."
"Really? Weird cravings?"
"At one point, the only breakfast she would take was eggs fried with sugar and topped with orange slices and chili oil. I remember just looking at it made my father gag, but I thought there was something to the combination."
"That actually sounds kind of good. Maybe Xiliu and I should try it tomorrow."
"See? I can even help figure out how to sate your appetite. So, what can I get you for your cravings tonight?"
She studied him for a moment, in that way that meant she wasn't sure he was sincere. "I want…pickled plums."
"Okay."
"With spicy peanut sauce and honey."
"Sure."
"On top of ground tofu with bacon."
"Sounds delicious."
"Don't make fun of me."
"I'm not. I'll go call for some right now." Iroh leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
Ursa sighed. "This baby of yours had better be unbelievably cute." Xiliu meowed as if in agreement.
"I'll try to pass on the message," Iroh told them both.
Six.
"What if I'm not a good mother?"
Aisha paused in the middle of portioning out Ursa's jook to glance at her with clear concern. "Now, what could make you say that?"
"Look at me," Ursa whispered shamefully, even though they were alone in the kitchen during this particular bout of insomnia. "I still hardly know how to be a princess after three years, and now I'll have to raise a future Fire Lord. There's so many ways for me to get it wrong."
"You're conflating different issues, Princess. There will be a veritable army of staff and instructors to make sure your child is a capable Fire Lord when the time comes, just as there is for Prince Iroh. But the role of a mother is unique. Which part are you worried about?"
A quick sprinkle of salt and toasted sesame seeds topped off the jook. Ursa stared into the pale porridge. "All of it. But I guess the role of a mother specifically."
"Haven't you written to your own mother?"
"Yes, a little. But she seems to think it will all be easier for me since I'm a princess with maids and nannies. And she's right; it will be easier. I don't know how to tell her it's not just the practical things I'm worried about when it makes me sound so…spoiled."
"There's more to raising a baby than the practical things. I'm sure your mother knows that." Aisha nudged the bowl of jook towards her, urging her to take a bite. "If it reassures you at all to speak to me instead, please do. I certainly don't think you're spoiled for being concerned."
The jook was warm and mild in her mouth, just what she needed for a second trimester in winter. "I feel like my mother always knew everything. And I definitely don't, especially not in this palace. How can I be there for my child when I'm so young and still feel so lost?"
"Oh, Princess. Your mother didn't know everything. She just did a very good job pretending."
Ursa sniffed, wondering when she'd started tearing up. "How do you know?"
"Because," a new voice piped up, "that's what we all do."
Startled, Ursa turned to find Yuna standing at the entrance to the kitchen.
"Forgive me for intruding, Princess." She carefully closed the door behind her. "But if I may, Aisha is correct. Raising a child doesn't require some magical wisdom bestowed upon you during pregnancy. It simply calls for dedication to doing what's best for the child. And frankly, it's very easy to know what's best for a child before they reach a certain age."
Aisha nodded in agreement. "Usually, it means making them eat their vegetables and stopping them from playing with fire and weapons before they're ready. Children have a knack for seeking out danger."
Ursa laughed. "Come on, surely it's not that simple. What about when the baby's crying and I can't figure out why?"
"If nothing else works, you hold them until it's over," Yuna shrugged.
"And what if the child sets me on fire?"
"I'm not a firebender either, yet I escaped both princes' fearsome toddler tantrums unscathed. Young benders don't know enough to intentionally burn anyone, and accidental fires are easy enough to smother. I assure you, you won't have flames to worry about until that child is two or three years old at the earliest, and that's if you're carrying a true prodigy."
"Oh, she almost certainly is," Aisha interjected. "With Prince Iroh as the father, and the awful morning sickness she had? There's a powerful bender growing."
People were already expecting a powerful child, and they didn't even know about the Fire Sages' prophecy. Suddenly queasy, Ursa cradled her belly. Would Avatar Roku's bloodline joined together with the royal family's really create a prodigy? How was she supposed to deal with a prodigious firebending toddler?
"All will be well, Princess. Bending or not, you will raise your child wonderfully. We will all be here to assist."
Yuna placed a comforting hand on Ursa's shoulder, a more intimate gesture than any the proper head servant ever permitted herself to show. "Thank you," Ursa whispered, wishing she was comforted by the kindness.
Seven.
His father summoned him from his lazy afternoon with Ursa to tell him the news. He returned to her in something like a trance, footsteps feeling unanchored and his head oddly heavy.
"Iroh?" Ursa stirred in bed, sitting up slightly when she saw whatever was in his face. "What was it? Do you have to go back on deployment?"
"No," he said, the word ringing hollow and distant in his ears. "Nothing like that."
"Well, what did he want then?"
The bed was still warm from where he'd been lying next to her, trying to convince her to discuss baby names as an early twenty-third birthday gift for him while she'd adamantly insisted it was bad luck to do so before the ninth month of pregnancy. It seemed so trivial now. He placed an arm around her, resuming their previous position as she snuggled into his side. Answering her question - speaking the words aloud - felt like a nail in a coffin he wasn't ready to hammer.
"My grandfather's dead."
"What? How?"
"He passed away in his sleep last night." Iroh felt strangely removed from his mouth as he spoke. "They think it was his heart. Father just received the message from Granny."
"Oh, Iroh…" Ursa kissed his cheek, and he could feel that her face had become wet with tears. "I'm so sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"
He shrugged. "Grampa never did watch his diet that well once he retired. I suppose his heart claiming him at this age really isn't that much of a surprise."
"But that doesn't mean you can't be sad."
"I didn't say it did." Iroh turned his head to nuzzle her. "I think I'm just processing."
"Okay." She pressed a kiss to his nose. "Do you know…did they already cremate him?"
"No. The cremation is tomorrow. The Fire Sages deemed it acceptable since he could have passed in the early hours of the morning." Traditionally, last rites were to be performed at the first sunrise following death, but someone passing away in their sleep always blurred the lines a little.
"When are you leaving, then?"
Iroh frowned at her. "You're in no condition to travel."
"I know, that's why I asked when you're leaving. Aren't you and Ozai going to pay your respects?"
"Ozai's leaving tonight. I wasn't planning to." He touched her swollen belly.
"Iroh, please. I'm still six weeks away from my due date, and I'm very well taken care of here. You should go to your grandfather's funeral. I'll be okay for a day or two."
Even with tear-streaked cheeks, her face was drawn in that familiar stubbornness. Iroh knew he had little chance of winning this argument without upsetting her, and upsetting his pregnant wife was the last thing he wanted to do. "Are you sure?"
"Of course. I know how much he meant to you. Your family will all be there as well. Go be with them."
She was right about his family. Iroh knew his Granny would be a mess, even if she tried to remain the strong matriarch. "Okay," he said. "I'll leave with Ozai. Let me just lie here for a bit, and then I'll get ready."
Ursa smiled, reaching up to cup his face as she kissed him. "I love you," she murmured against his mouth.
"I love you too."
"I love you, Iroh," his mother panted as her maids helped her up. Iroh couldn't take his eyes off the puddle on the rug that had come out of her. "I know this looks scary, dear heart, but I'm going to be fine. And then-" her face contorted with pain, but she grit her teeth to keep talking "-you'll have a new baby brother or sister, just like we talked about, okay?"
"Okay," five-year-old Iroh nodded from the bed where Yuna was holding him away from his mother, but he couldn't quite bring himself to believe it. Mama and Daddy and Yuna and everyone had said the baby wasn't going to come for another two months. Why was it happening now?
"Yuna," his mother continued, "put him to bed. I just finished his bedtime story anyway. Dream good dreams, Iroh, and when you wake up the baby will be here for you to tell them to. Just like that. Will you do that?"
"Uh-huh," Iroh managed to nod again.
"Good, good. Listen to Yuna until I'm back. I love you," she repeated, mouth twisting with the effort of labor once more while the maids half-carried her out of his bedroom.
Yuna smoothed his hair and fed him a strange-tasting tea. Iroh didn't dream good dreams. He dreamt of screams. He dreamt of commotion, people rushing around outside his door. He dreamt of a baby wailing in an all too quiet room.
But this time, in this dream, he did what he hadn't been able to do in real life. He got out of bed, opened his bedroom door, and walked towards the wails.
The baby was in the nursery, the one next to Iroh's room that he had helped his mother decorate. Despite all the commotion he'd heard earlier, no one was there now but mother and newborn. The newborn lay crying in a crib next to the makeshift bedding. The mother lay still, unearthly still, with her face turned away. Iroh padded closer, wanting to see for himself. No one would tell him that his mother had in fact died in childbirth for months after today, when his father would finally declare the baby in the crib had killed her. Iroh wanted to see for himself before all that.
The mother had clearly been slender before pregnancy, with silky dark hair and a sweet oval face that looked far too calm for what had transpired. The mother was not his mother.
"No," he gasped, and he wasn't five years old anymore but he still felt just as small as he collapsed to his knees next to Ursa. "No, no, my love…"
Her skin was cold and clammy to his touch. Her sunshine eyes were unseeing but still remained trained on the crib, whose occupant's cries were growing louder than ever.
"Please," Iroh begged. "Please, dearest, come back. I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I'm so sorry-"
The baby screeched inhumanly loud. Ursa's eyes snapped towards him as her face contorted with the labor pains, mouth yawning open-
"Iroh!"
He jolted awake, just in time to hear his wife's agonized gasp. For a horrifying moment, the dream blurred into reality as she gripped his hand with tears in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked urgently. "Are you-"
"No, no, it's the false contractions. But they're really bad this time. Could you get me that tea from your grandparents?"
"Of course." He sprang into action, producing possibly the fastest cup of tea he'd ever brewed. "Are you sure it's the false ones?" he double-checked, not liking the way she was breathing deep as she rode out the pain.
"Yes. They're not regular. Suma says I'll know it's the real thing once they follow a regular pattern." She accepted the cup with a grateful smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you up. I really was trying to let you sleep."
"Don't handle it by yourself," he half-scolded, sitting back down on the bed. "I want to know the moment you feel anything out of the ordinary, okay?"
"I don't think you realize just how many 'out of the ordinary' things I feel everyday at this point. I swear your baby's using my bladder as a football."
"I still want to hear about them, though."
She rolled her eyes before taking a sip of her tea and sighing contentedly. Iroh watched, making sure pain didn't flicker across her face again. He couldn't get the image of her unseeing eyes out of his head.
"I've changed my mind," he said suddenly. "I'm not going to the funeral."
"What?" She straightened up against her pile of pillows. "Why? I thought we agreed you'd go."
"I can't leave you right now."
"But it's your grandfather-"
"He of all people would understand."
"Iroh…don't let the false contractions freak you out. I could have called for help and someone would've been here in a moment."
"It's not that."
"Then what is it?"
"Ursa," her name felt wrong in his mouth after months of dearest and darling and my love, "it's not up for debate anymore. It's my grandfather's funeral, and I've decided I'm not going."
Her lips parted slightly, and then closed again as she set her jaw. "Alright. You're right." She drained her cup. "You should go tell Ozai to take our condolences with him, then. I'll just close my eyes for a bit."
Translation: Iroh was being kicked out. He stood without protest. Ursa refused to meet his eyes as he took her cup. Guilt slid into the storm of emotions inside him.
"I dreamed about my mother. Just now. I remembered the night she died."
Ursa blinked up at him, gaze once again soft and sorrowful. "Oh…"
"She went into labor in my room as she was tucking me in. It happened so quickly they couldn't take her very far. They went down the hall, to the nursery that had already been prepared. I heard…so much. Even though Yuna gave me some sleeping tea, the noise worked its way into my dreams. I actually think the tea might've made that part worse."
She scooted closer to him and took his free hand, sympathy written all over her face.
"The last thing she said was that she loved me, as she was practically carried out of my room." Iroh squeezed Ursa's hand. "She went into labor two months early."
"Iroh…"
"Look, I know I'm being irrational. I know the dream is just an amalgamation of my anxieties, and the odds of fate dealing the same tragedy to me twice in a lifetime are slight. But I just can't, darling. I can't leave you right now, not after remembering all that. Granny will understand, and Grampa would have too."
With tears in her eyes, Ursa tugged him down for a hug. Iroh sighed from a strange mix of relief and heartache as he sank into her embrace.
"I'm really touched you told me," she said after a moment. "I understand better now."
"Good."
"If…if something like that were to happen to me…"
"Don't speak of such things."
"Just listen, please. If something were to happen, you wouldn't do what your father did to Ozai, right?"
"Of course not," he said vehemently, pulling back to look at her. "I would love any child of ours twice as much if you couldn't be there. I promise."
"Thank you." She drew him in for a kiss, the kind that quickly turned into a second and a third and still wasn't enough.
"Do you still want me to leave you alone?" he whispered against her lips.
"Hmm…I guess you can send a message to Ozai and stay a bit longer if you want."
Iroh chuckled. "If I want, of course."
Once he'd settled back into bed with her, Ursa curled up against his side as much as she could with her belly in the way and whispered, "You know, we could talk about baby names now. If it would make you feel better."
"Absolutely not. If you think it's bad luck, I'm not risking it."
"Okay. But when we do talk about it…" she trailed her fingers along his chest, "...I think I might have an idea for a boy name."
Iroh closed his eyes, and as his wife continued drawing random patterns above his heart, he finally allowed himself to shed a tear for his grandfather.
Eight.
Pregnancy meant no White Lotus business for the time being. There was no sneaking out of the palace with her swollen feet and belly, and even if she was physically capable, everyone in the palace was ridiculously attentive to her these days. Just reading the occasional White Lotus update Jeong Jeong slipped to her felt like a great risk, even though each one was in vague codes and she burned them right after.
She missed it more than she'd thought. Yes, there was the guilt and lies and fear every time she left, but…the White Lotus helped her feel like someone outside of Princess Ursa. It connected her to her mother and Avatar Roku; to the side of her family she'd never really known. It had taught her so much, about chakras and Air Nomads and history she'd never imagined. It had given her such a wonderful mentor in Jinpa, a steady ally in Jeong Jeong, and now a confidant in Piandao. She missed all of it.
So she was surprised, but thrilled, when Master Qin invited her to a Pai Sho game in the library and opened with a white lotus tile. Was it a coincidence?
"I see you favor the white lotus tile," she whispered, half-fearing she was wrong. "Not many still respect the purity of flora."
"Those who do can always find the delicious buried roots." Master Qin held out a folded paper to her; she opened it up to find Jinpa's familiar White Lotus signature scrawled inside. He was telling her to trust Qin.
"You're the person in the palace," Ursa realized, quickly glancing around before she continued. The library was empty, the doors were closed, and Iroh was in the war room until dinner. "You've been communicating with me since the beginning. With Jeong Jeong as well."
"Yes." Qin nodded, removing his spectacles and cleaning them with the edge of his sleeve. "When your mother reached out, I was the one who suggested Bumi come from Omashu to talk to you, so those of us in the capital wouldn't have to reveal ourselves too early. And I'm in a riskier position than Jinpa since I'm still in the Fire Lord's employment, so we agreed I'd stay hidden for longer."
"Why are you revealing yourself now, then?"
"You've been a diligent, loyal student of our ways for nearly three years. If I can't trust you now, you're certainly a much better actress than anyone anticipated. And, frankly, Jinpa and Jeong Jeong can't really be the ones to keep you connected with the Lotus anymore." He nodded at her swollen belly. "Military men have little reason to be around a pregnant princess without arousing suspicion, but everyone knows you love the library."
"That I do," she laughed. "I suppose I've always found you comforting for good reason, Master Qin."
"I'm glad." Returning her smile, he moved another tile across the board, starting an actual Pai Sho game.
"Am I to understand, then," she questioned, "that it's a coincidence that you and Jinpa are both members of the White Lotus who just also happen to be two of Iroh's earliest teachers?"
"Oh, of course not. I imagined you would make that connection."
"So it's by design?" she clarified, moving her rose tile forward to start the Attack of the Thorns maneuver.
"Yes. The White Lotus has thought for some time now that recruiting a member of the Fire Nation royal family would be key to our ultimate goal. When Azulon got married, that was our cue to position ourselves as the teachers to his heirs. To influence them into appreciating our values."
"What's the 'ultimate goal'?"
"Restoring balance to the world."
"And you want to accomplish that by recruiting Iroh into the White Lotus?"
"Actually, I was hoping to bring in Ozai." Qin took advantage of her brief shock to defend himself in the Pai Sho game, knocking three of her tiles with an Earthen Defense. "Iroh is the crown prince. He has been forged since birth to value the throne above all else, even as Jinpa and I have tried to impart more worldly ideals upon him through our tutelage. Ozai is the spare. He has more freedom in what he can be in his life, including becoming a Lotus."
"But Ozai has no respect for anything outside of the Fire Nation. I don't think he sees the value of anything outside the palace, frankly."
"Funny, that is exactly what Jinpa said. He wanted to recruit Iroh despite the risk. I wanted to recruit Ozai, thinking we could mold him once he was part of the society. We were at an impasse on what to do. And then you arrived."
"I was your compromise?"
"Something like that, yes. Your marriage into the family made us realize we didn't have to worry about choosing Iroh or Ozai. We could focus on you, and through the prophecy, the White Lotus could end up recruiting a future Fire Lord after all."
"My child," Ursa deduced, suddenly deflated. All this time, even the White Lotus had been more concerned with the potential of her womb than Ursa herself. The baby pressed against the skin of her stomach uncomfortably, no doubt giving her a few more stretch marks. She ignored it to adjust her Pai Sho strategy. Qin had put her on the defensive more quickly than she'd expected….
"Why do you expect the prophecy would help?" she asked.
"How do you mean?"
"The prophecy said Iroh and I would 'yield a bloodline of great power.' That was why the Fire Lord wanted us married: to ensure his family would rule for centuries. Why would the White Lotus expect that to work to its advantage in restoring balance to the world?"
"Do you believe that's the only way the prophecy could be interpreted?"
It wasn't. Ursa had been told a different interpretation during her very first Autumn Festival, one that she'd half-forgotten. According to Maya, the Sun Warriors' priests had predicted that the union of the Avatar's bloodline with the royal family would restore balance to the ways of firebending. But the Sun Warriors' existence wasn't known to anyone but her and Iroh, was it? How could Qin know of this other interpretation?
"I suppose not," she said carefully. "But I can't know for sure. I never heard the original words of the prophecy. Just what the Fire Lord said when he came for me."
"Really?" Qin's eyebrows raised, and he knocked another two of her tiles off the board. "Your mother never mentioned it to you?"
"My mother?" Ursa peered up at the librarian with surprise. "What would my mother know of it?"
Qin had said something he wasn't supposed to. That much was clear from how his eyes widened and his lips pursed. He knew her mother had heard of the prophecy before Azulon had come to Hira'a. He knew, he seemed certain of it, even though her mother had left the White Lotus before Ursa was even born.
"Why did she leave?" Ursa questioned Bumi.
"She didn't want to risk you," the Mad King replied.
Her mother had left the White Lotus to protect her. For the past three years, Ursa had assumed Mom simply hadn't wanted to risk losing her baby girl if she was outed as part of a secret society. But now…
"Ah…so you decided to join the Lotuses," her mother sighed.
"Did you not want me to?"
"I don't know what I wanted, dear. I just needed to know somebody besides the royal family would be looking out for you, and the Lotuses were the only ones who came to mind."
That conversation hadn't exactly been a ringing endorsement of the White Lotus. Ursa hadn't thought much of it at the time since Mom had been the one to guide her to the secret society in the first place, but there was something about that reluctance she should have asked about. Qin's eyes flickered away from her face back to the Pai Sho board, a move she recognized. Guilt.
"My mother knew about the prophecy," she said slowly. "Before Azulon came to see us. And you knew that, which means you knew her before she left the White Lotus, and both of you knew about this prophecy before I was even born."
He didn't reply. It didn't matter. He would speak up if she got any of it wrong.
"There are multiple versions of the prophecy floating around, aren't there? The Fire Lord heard one. The version that you all wanted him to hear, wasn't it? You would've been here at the palace before my mother left, since Iroh was born around then. You would've made sure the Fire Lord heard the version you wanted. The one that promised his family power if he fulfilled it." Azulon wouldn't care about restoring balance to firebending, but he would care about power. Ursa knew that much. The White Lotus did too. Qin's jaw clenched.
"You…" Ursa faltered, trying to fill in the gaps. "You wanted the prophecy to happen. That's why you fed him the version where the Avatar's bloodline gave him power. So he would fulfill it." She needed confirmation now, because the rest of the story was too horrible for her to speak if it wasn't true. "Master Qin, that's what happened, isn't it?"
"We knew the Fire Sage who read the prophecy in the sacred fires," he said, still looking away. "We convinced him to alter it for the Fire Lord's ears. For the good of the world."
"My mother would've heard this plan too, right? Since she was almost a Grand Lotus? And then she quit." Ursa's heart was pounding. "Because you all wanted her to go along with it. You wanted her to give me to the Fire Lord. For the prophecy. You-"
"It wasn't anything so crass, Princess. We wanted to raise you as one of us and train you for when you and Iroh would be old enough for marriage. We would have made sure you were prepared to be Fire Lady and fulfill your destiny. Of course, your mother didn't want you to have any part of it, which was a natural instinct. No one held it against her when she decided to leave us all behind to protect you and give you a normal life. But prophecies have a way of coming for those who try to fight them hardest."
Mom had always just wanted Ursa to have a normal life. "Did you tell the Fire Lord where to find us?" she accused, on the verge of tears. "Once Iroh and I were old enough to be married?"
Qin's head snapped up. "No," he gasped. "No, of course not."
"I don't believe you."
"I swear, Princess, if it was the White Lotus who led the Fire Lord to your family, I have no knowledge of it. I-" His confidence faltered.
Ursa gripped a Pai Sho tile so hard it dug into her bones. "What?"
"I…in all honesty, a couple of White Lotus agents who'd known your mother well were taken to the capital prison not long before Azulon found your family. He didn't- doesn't- know about the White Lotus, he was just following a rumor that they had something to do with the Avatar's daughter. They were dead within a few months. I don't know what they might have told Azulon before they passed." That guilt was in his eyes again. "The royal interrogators are…terribly effective."
A strangled sob escaped her throat. She flung the Pai Sho tile at Qin. He dodged, the tile bouncing off a bookshelf behind him instead.
"I don't think it could have been those agents, Princess," he spoke quickly, "They were so loyal to your mother, I can't imagine they would have confessed where to find her under interrogation or not, if they even knew her whereabouts after almost twenty years-"
"Shut up!" Ursa screamed, blind with tears and rage. "Shut up, shut up! You monster!"
Qin fell silent as she pushed the rest of his Pai Sho board off the table and stumbled out of her chair, turning around to rip his oh-so-precious books off the shelves like it might even the score between them. How dare he do this to her? How dare the White Lotus think they could play the role of the Avatar, of the spirits themselves, in bringing balance to the world? How dare they decide for her that her womb and her life were worth sacrificing for the greater good?
"Princess…" He was standing now, a cautious few feet away from her rampage, "Princess, please, think of the baby."
The baby. "That's all any of you think of!" She ripped the cover of the book in her hand and flung it to the floor. "Since before I was born, you've all just been plotting and scheming, waiting for when I'd be old enough for Iroh to put a baby in me."
"That's not true-"
"Stop lyingI" Another ruined book fell to the ground. The baby was kicking, just as worked up as she was about this whole mess. She needed to calm down for him. She wasn't going to. "Did it ever occur to any of you that I might have wanted a life for myself besides giving birth to some savior of firebending? That the girl you wanted to turn into the perfect childbearing vessel for your prophecy deserved to live for herself? Now you've ruined my life, and you've already ruined the life of this baby too, because he will never get to be anything but what this curse of a prophecy demands of him. Azulon wants a Fire Lord, you want balance, and I just want- I just want a life that's my own. And if I can't have it, I at least want my children to, but all of that's been ruined!"
Qin looked like he was going to speak again, but whatever he saw in her face was enough to make him rethink it. Good. Maybe that would stop these high-and-mighty Lotuses from playing at kingmaking ever again.
"I'm done with this," Ursa declared. "My mother was right to want to keep me away from you. I don't know what good she thought you would be to me now, but I haven't found a shred of it. And I promise you, as long as I live, you're not getting my child either."
He might've said something in response to that as she left, but Ursa didn't hear it. She didn't care what any of them had to say to her anymore. The royal family, the White Lotus, they were just two sides of the same coin: old men who felt they knew better than anyone else and could do as they wished with women like her. At least the royal family was straightforward about it.
"Sister?" Ozai was in the training room, poking his head out the open door curiously. "Are you alright? I thought I heard your voice."
Blast. The library was relatively soundproof, but the corner where she'd been yelling at Qin shared a wall with the training room. Ozai would've heard something…but surely not her actual words, right? Her heartbeat picked up again.
"I thought you were in the war room," she dodged his question.
"No, not today. Generals and crown prince only." His shrug wasn't casual enough for his words. "Have you been crying?"
Apparently, he was in one of his more considerate moods. Pregnancy talk would hopefully gross him out enough to assuage his curiosity. "It was just false contractions," she sniffed, wiping at her face. "They've been getting worse and worse. The baby's pretty much ready to come out."
"Ugh, remind me to book a holiday during the week of your due date. I don't need to hear all that again."
"You mean you're not going to be the happiest uncle in the world?"
"Oh yeah, there's nothing like falling behind a baby in the line of succession," he rolled his eyes.
Ursa would have happily placed him ahead of her child for the throne, but that wasn't what the world wanted. Not Azulon, or the White Lotus. Everything, apparently, relied on her child becoming Fire Lord. She hated it.
"Uh, that was just a joke." Ozai frowned. "Are you sure you're fine?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to whack me with a wooden sword until you feel better? I'll stand very still, you being pregnant and all."
"Tempting," she smiled, "but I'll pass."
"Suit yourself. It's a one-time offer." He scratched the back of his neck. "Are you just going to lie down in your room?"
"Probably. Not much else to do but bedrest."
"Can you play Pai Sho with me instead?"
Weird. Ozai didn't like Pai Sho. "Why?"
"Trying to get better. If I can convince Dad or Iroh my strategy's improving, they might let me in the war room more."
"Sure, I guess."
"I can play you in the courtyard. Give me a few minutes to change."
"Okay."
It was very weird, she decided when he popped up in the courtyard with a smile and asked a dozen questions about basic Pai Sho strategy over a series of games. If she didn't know better, she might have thought he actually wanted to cheer her up.
Nine.
"I can't do it, Iroh," Ursa sobbed on her hands and knees, sweat-dampened hair plastered to her forehead as he rubbed her shoulder. "I can't, I can't…"
"Yes, you can," he said, kissing her cheek. "You're doing wonderful, just a little more."
"Princess," Suma spoke from the foot of the bed. "The baby's crowning. You're almost there."
"No…" Ursa leaned further into Iroh's touch, clearly worn out. 'Please, I'm so tired, it hurts…please, Iroh, can't you do it for me?"
"I wish I could, my love, I really do." Iroh had never meant anything more, considering she'd been pushing and crying for nearly six hours. "But you heard Suma. It's almost over, and then we can hold our baby-"
"Princess, you have to push," Suma interrupted.
Ursa whimpered but drew a deep breath, and then she pushed again with a determined yell that both impressed and terrified Iroh. Soon, her roar was punctuated with the raw first cries of a baby.
My baby.
An achingly small, admittedly somewhat wet baby that had been delivered right into Suma's waiting hands. Iroh couldn't tear his eyes away as his child was passed onto Yuna, who washed the crying newborn so gingerly it might have been made of glass. Next to him, Ursa sank bonelessly into the bed. He quickly leaned down to kiss her forehead.
"You did amazing, my love. You're the most wonderful woman I've ever known."
"Mmm…thanks," she half-smiled. "Help me roll over?"
Carefully, he shifted her onto her back. She let out a shuddering gasp when she caught sight of her child as well.
"Your Highnesses," Yuna whispered reverently, "you have a son."
My son.
The wailing baby was delicately placed on a waiting Ursa's chest, and she weakly cradled him in her arms. Iroh hovered next to her, watching his son start to slow his cries and settle against his mother's skin. "I love you," she murmured. "I love you so much."
"He's perfect." Iroh allowed himself to sit on the bed and drape an arm around her shoulders, heart skipping a beat when she beamed up at him.
"He is." Ursa's eyes were shining, a look of pure love and adoration that dwarfed anything else he'd seen from her before.
"Do you still want to use the name we picked?"
"Of course. I think he'll grow into it."
"Alright." He smiled down at their son. "Lu Ten it is."
"Hello, Lu Ten. I'm your mom." Ursa glanced at Iroh expectantly.
"Hi, Lu Ten. I'm your dad."
Lu Ten gurgled in response to his parents' voices. As his tiny eyes blinked open, Ursa let out a delighted gasp that mirrored Iroh's own loss of breath.
"Oh, Iroh, look at that. He has your eyes."
Not just that. Lu Ten had his namesake's eyes.
A/N: Yeah, y'all were right, it's Lu Ten. Considering how little information we have about him in canon aside from his close relationship with Iroh, I didn't want to bother coming up with a new character. And let's give me a round of applause for updating on time, because it's probably not going to happen again until after Christmas. Also, happy one year (ish) anniversary to this story! Crazy that it's still going and people are still reading. Appreciate the support y'all!
~Bobbi